#exercise is usually a summer phase for me that wears off by october so this is huge

[iridescentides]

When you get this, please say 5 lovely things about yourself publicly, then send it to 10 of your followers 💫

thanks for sending this may! ive done this ask game a couple times this year, so in an effort to not duplicate answers from last time, im gonna mix it up a little bit. im going to list 5 of my favorite things ive made/accomplished in 2020.

answers under the cut for BODY IMAGE TW

(in no particular order)

1. ive been making lots of cool music stuff this year. i have managed to start and keep up with a youtube channel for music and covers (dm me if you wanna subscribe and support me). i posted the audio for my waterparks/with confidence mashup on tumblr a while back, and honestly im still very proud of that one. 

2. i went OFF on that altpack editing week event back in october. here are my favorite gifsets i made for it: 1 2 3 4

3. i made the difficult decision to quit a job that i let define me for the past few years, and remove myself from a situation that caused me consistent stress and hardship. as a result, ive been able to spend lots of time with my family this year, and they are the most important people in the world to me.

4. i have maintained a good core group of close friends since my senior year of high school, despite the fact that i moved away for college. now that im back home, we get to hang out and be pals and stuff in person, but im just really proud of myself for keeping that companionship when it was long distance, and for making efforts to stay close with them now that im back.

5. i have managed to exercise every single day for the past 5 months. i have never been that consistent about physical activity in my life. every single day, i do short, fast-paced high intensity exercise (dancing, speedwalking, running, swimming, etc.) and track it by getting a certain amount of points on the google fit app. i think the reason i have been more successful at keeping it up than any other time in my life is because all the other times i tried to start exercising, it was in a deliberate effort to lose weight; i used to count calories and do exercises i didnt enjoy at all because i was so focused on looking different instead of feeling better.

my motivation this time was different; i started because i realized i have a habit of spiraling into Lite Depression no matter my current life situation (busy, unemployed, fat, skinny, single, in a relationship, etc.) and so i tried to make a commitment to add more variation to my life by actively doing things that made me uncomfortable. and as silly as it is, my motivation to exercise was the quote from legally blonde where she says “exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy, and happy people dont shoot their husbands.” when i started exercising, i got rid of the “im burning so many calories right now” thoughts and replaced them with “im getting so many endorphins right now.” i like how i look regardless of the size of my body, and i have for a long time. but this is the first time in my life i have truly exercised as an investment in my own happiness and emotional wellbeing, instead of for physical goals. 

and the best part is, all the other benefits came naturally. because of this lifestyle change im sleeping better, i have less random aches and pains, i eat more foods that give my body energy instead of the ones that make my stomach hurt, i have more stamina, and im able to do more things physically/strength-wise than ive ever been able to do. i know its not a huge accomplishment for other people, but as someone who never even played a sport when i was in school, this is huge. and i genuinely think its a habit i can maintain and cultivate for the rest of my life.