#fans: stop kissing tay tawan: NEVER!!!!!!

[vegaseatsass]

Sorry sorry I'm supposed to be doing something else but I'm still spiralling over

Tay Tawan: Gun kissing me made me lose my videogame and now youre complaining at me on the internet? Was I put on this earth to suffer? Anyway it's not possible to be friends with Gun and NOT kiss him. Get real

[whyamistillwatchingtheseshows]

TayNew, Someone You Loved! MAKE ME SUFFER!!!

Tay understood growing apart. As an adult, that’s the shit you have to learn. It’s the mind-numbing pain that no one warned him about. That ache when someone who had always been there is gone, no not just that. They’ve disappeared. Tay had once said, “Time will tell.” Here’s time and what it did: That closeness changed, it became awkward. Tay didn’t like to use the fans as his source, but hell, they were an observant bunch. He and Newwie used to FaceTime for hours before. Now, it’s a text that says hey. It’s stupid small talk. Six years and a friendship could be barely salvaged. They’ve been through that dance. The will they, won’t they? Tay looked at his phone. No messages. Tay was busy doing promotion shoots for his show 3 Will Be Free, but usually, Newwie was blowing up his phone. Nothing. 

His co-star Joss appeared beside him. “What’s up?” He noticed anguish on his friend’s face.

“Nothing,” Tay took a deep breath. “Want to practice?” 

“Practice what? I’m sure we all have modeling in the bag,” Joss laughed. Tay had completely forgotten what he was doing and where he was. That’s how far his mind drifts, back to the what ifs, to a time where nothing had to be defined and they just were. Joss noticed Tay clenching his fists. “Whoa,” he placed a hand to a shoulder. “You calm buddy?” 

Tay gave him a death glare and Joss held up his hands in defense. “Okay, okay. I’ll back off.” Joss left him there. Tay felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He excitedly looked at it. Why had he expected it to be Newwie? That guy was probably with this supposed girlfriend, with someone other than him. What’s that drowning feeling? It’s as if you’re breathing but drowning at the same time. His phone vibrated again and this time it was Newwie. 

He opened the text: Are you busy? 

Doing a photo shoot. What’s up? Keep it simple. It’s not a declaration of love. It’s not, hey, I love you. Come back to me. Tay Tawan you’re fucking 28, why are you acting like a 16-year-old? 

I was wondering if you could help me. Shit. With what? 

Sure, what is it? 

Can you come shopping me with? Oh, this is good. This is closer to the way before. 

Yeah, when? 

Sunday. I need to buy a gift for my girlfriend.

Tay almost threw his phone across the room. He hit himself on the head with it instead. 

Um, Sunday? Sorry, I’m busy that day. We’re lying. Okay, but it hurts to be near him. It hurts to be away from him, what a fucking double-edged sword. 

__

Tay appeared before New. He was surprised since he was told by his friend that he’d be busy. 

“You came anyway? Change your plans?” New asked him. 

“Yeah, I figured you either really couldn’t choose or you needed my money. Hmm,” Tay managed to joke with him. 

“I thought I was the bank to you,” New raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Eh, uh, yeah, whatever. What are you getting?” 

“Oh, she likes knick knacks. Something to put on a shelf and display. Since she likes dolphins I was thinking of something with that.”

Tay suddenly realized this was a bad idea. It was going to be endless drivel about her. It’s not that he was jealous. No, okay, maybe it’s a part of it, but Tay felt like he’d been tricked. The wool over his eyes. That’s what he gets for letting his guard down. Sure, it was unintentional and New has no clue how he truly feels...yeah, this was a bad idea. 

“Where shall we start?” Tay’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest when Newwie hooked his arm. 

“I have to go.”

“Why?” Newwie whined. “We don't hang out like this anymore. Come on,” he shook against Tay’s side. “Aren’t I still your P?” 

“You’re someone I love and I can’t help you buy gifts for someone else.” The confession spilled out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“In a mall?” New shook his head. “All right, we’ll have this talk.” 

“I want us back to the way before. Even if it was fan service, I liked how we were during the filming of our food show.”

“Not all of it was fan service.” The confession was out of New’s mouth before he could stop it.

“Don't give me hope, if there is none, New.” Tay was using his serious voice now. New chuckled. “I’m leaving,” Tay suddenly said. New didn’t know how to stop him.

__

New’s girlfriend laid against his shoulder. That made it difficult to stalk Tay on Instagram. He scoffed to himself. Wow, what a terrible boyfriend. Thinking about someone else while the other is right there. Great, good on you, New. His phone buzzed. A text from Tay. 

Can we talk? 

I’ll come over. 

New ran out of the building and to his car before his girlfriend made any objections. You really are a terrible boyfriend to her anyway.

__

“Tell me you remember Valentine’s Day?” New wasn’t expecting to be prodded with such a loaded question right from the beginning. 

“How could I forget?”

“So none of those feelings are there any more? Because this someone else crap came out of nowhere. I was getting used to us. I was getting used to the way we argued but loved each other. I was getting used to the way you got frustrated when I didn’t clean up my mess. By the way, it’s an organized mess. It just gets that way and then I-”

“Then you get pissed off and clean it up. I know,” New smiled. “You are the King of Procrastination.”

“Am I? I feel like a hardworker.”

“Who will do a lot of things last minute. Generally, everything still turns out all right.”

“Let’s go back to before. To the days where I don't feel helpless, lost and aching. Come back to me, Newwie.” 

This would be the hardest thing that New has ever done. He couldn’t believe he was doing it when it happened, but he just left. Tay stood there staring at the door. Then he banged his fists against it, choking back tears. He slumped to the floor, his head hitting the door a little too hard. He grimaced, but that pain was nothing. That was minimal compared to that feeling of going under, the numbness. The ache. Tay didn’t know, but in the hallway New had slumped to the floor against the door as well. He couldn’t face that conversation while also being with someone else. If Tay went any further, New would make a mistake. A mistake, a tempting mistake... New’s mind drifted to Valentine’s Day. Tay’s lips against his, and it was only the two of them in the world. Nothing else mattered. Where’d that go? When did he want someone else? Why did he want someone else? When did he become so afraid of his feelings for Tay? 

Tay also now understood that ache. It was the ache of wanting someone to save you. Wanting someone to hold. Wanting someone to be the cure for the pain. Tay never thought it wise to rely on someone that much, but he gave his all to Newwie. There was a time when Tay was never that outspoken or that animated. He learned to open up because of Newwie, even though, it didn’t seem as if they learned anything from each other. They’d earned the reputation of being the “Queens of Banter.” They didn’t care about the title. They owned up to it because if anyone knows Chess, the Queen is the most powerful player. Tay chuckled at his own thought. Then he heard scuffling outside the door. He jumped up and opened it. 

New fell back onto the floor. He looked up at Tay. A hand was offered to help him. New took it. Hands still being held they stood there staring at each other. Tay was going to lean in for it. He was going for it. All or nothing. New denied him by turning his face. 

“Patience,” New told him. “There’s a girlfriend I have to speak to first.” 

“Don't fuck with me because I won’t be able to handle that.” 

“I’m not fucking with you. Just give it time.” Tay didn’t like to give things time. After all, time eventually bit him in the ass. He held onto his anger a moment then let out in a deep breath. The anger shouldn’t be directed at Newwie. It really wasn’t his fault. 

“One kiss?” Tay begged before New could actually leave.

“No.”

Tay huffed. “Fine. I’ll just wallow then until you sort it out. Tonight?”

“My oh my someone needs to calm down. No, it won’t be tonight. But soon.” New wrapped his arms around Tay’s neck for a hug. Tay melted into it and New had to fight his way out of his grasp. 

Soon. One word changed everything.