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divinusdoctrina · 8 years ago

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Lets talk.

Allow me to preface this by saying I am not angry at anyone but myself. I have stayed silent and sat back as opposed to voicing my opinions or stepping in when I needed to step in. My frustration is with myself for allowing myself to end up reaching this point when I could have prevented it.

Respect.

This is something I try to have for everyone in the AU. I both allow and very much encourage members to pitch ideas and talk about things. But I feel it has gotten to the point where discussion has become finalizing ideas without talking to me first, which violates the rules of this AU. Everything must be discussed with me, everything must be finalized by me--and even when I say yes to something to start with, I very much expect a full rundown on what the idea entails and to be allowed to finesse it.

I do not feel this AU, and by extension myself, is getting the respect that I ask for. When questions pop up, it is fine to hold a group discussion. I encourage a bit of play with the lore, creative freedom and certain muse details remain to be handled at the digression of the mun. But if there’s a point of confusion, then ask me. I am the final word on this AU. I am the final word on the lore.

This is something I have sank hours upon hours into. Have a journal kept for so when I feel ready to continue sharing and expanding the lore on here, I may do so. There is a universe in the making here that I have put a very considerable portion of my time into. There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not considering future possibilities for the lore, different roles, how everything will eventually interconnect and intermingle.

And this is a universe I allow people to join freely. With the understanding that I remain to be the authority. That when I say something, or iterate something through Apath, it will be respected and followed. I do not feel I’ve been getting that as of late. I haven’t for quite some time, and I have been writing it off as just me being tired or stressed, but it isn’t that.

Ideas are brought up and then run with without anyone ever once approaching me, one on one, to actually discuss it all with me. Things are done without anyone stopping to ask me if that’s how the lore works, how the universe I’ve built works. And that feels like a slap in the face. It makes me feel as though the only kindness I receive is solely to get a foot in on the AU and then whatever I have to say from that point on is worthless.

The transitioning aspect has been a problem for a long time, when I have made it clear from the start it is an extremely dangerous process that should, by all rights, take hundreds of years unless one is the Alpha or the Primordial Omega. That has been ignored on a spare few occasions.

The fact major powers will not come into play without years upon years upon years of training has been ignored. Abilities have been run with without anyone approaching me first. Assumptions of power have been made without, again, anyone approaching me first.

Even the selection process for Successors has become something that’s been spit on and I’ve been too anxious to say no to ideas. Some have come up with very, very good reasoning for instant selection--such as that Legendary putting the potential Chosen through a test. Otherwise? There needs to be a bond first. Apath was Arceus’ child for a long time before they were asked to be his Successor. If you were the Legendary in question, would you ask some random stranger you hardly know to inherit divinity and your role in the world?

No. Because you’re a god, and there is a balance that must be upheld, and you need to know for certain if someone’s really the right person for the task before you even entertain the idea of asking and forming a bond.

I want everyone to have fun. I encourage having fun.

But that fun shouldn’t disrespect the universe that’s allowed you to have it in the first place. I have put so, so much time into this AU and now I’m at a point where I honestly want to close the AU and leave the Pokemon fandom entirely.

I will not do that. But it has gotten there.

Everything has to be cleared with me first.

I didn’t have to make this a group thing. I could have kept it entirely to Apath and built lore around them instead. Or I could have made this group incredibly selective and require several standards be met along with a grueling application process. But I didn’t.

I didn’t because I wanted this idea to be shared. I wanted people to be able to join in without any problem, to have fun, to make friends and have their muses exist in a world where suddenly the impossible has become the norm.

All I ask is that I receive the respect I ask for myself and my AU. Please discuss things with me. Don’t assume everything is fine and do it anyways. Contact me personally. Talk things through with me. Allow me to help you balance things out, let me inch along through the lore with you. Decisions are being made without being OK’d by me first and that isn’t alright.

It makes me feel like I’m being used. Like my lore is meaningless to you all except for the fact you get to play a deity. And I have my standards because of the fact even these deities have limits they cannot go beyond.

I ask that whoever sees this will share a link with the group on Discord.

I will not be checking it for the rest of the night, nor do I think I’ll be unmuting the server any time tomorrow. I will not respond to PMs concerning this tonight, I’m too tired, and I’m honestly too hurt to handle it.

Again, I’m not angry at anyone. It is my fault for not correcting this earlier on.

I adore all of you, and I continue to be so very, very grateful to have made friends through this idea of mine. It still blows my mind that people want to make Successors and Protectors, that people even outside of the AU have accepted my universe as some sort of strange canon in the community.

I’m off my Pokemon blogs for the rest of the night.

I’ll be on Fantasypath, however, and Tobi.

Stay safe, babes.

#LOREKEEPER PSA

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