#fearne’s heart being worried and open for those she loves and she’s left in the rain it’s fine it doesn’t make

[yashley]

fearne’s entire existence occurring for the expectation of being exploited, her childhood she spent alone as a prized possession of a hag, her heart being dropped by the shrugging parents she loved unfailingly, and all of the threads of fate fearne turns away from because she feels she doesn’t have an important role to play, this experience happening isn’t for HER to be a part of, she’s still someone’s accessory to use when needed and put promptly away and she smiles her feigned smile and accept that. and then for her to be told that yeah she’s a disappointment? that they had her and all had their way with her life and she suffered alone and still tried to earn their love, still tried to be enough, but she doesn’t actually matter at all? she needs to start dropping bodies

[samuraiko]

Are you still doing those vignette requests? Would love to see you write about a conversation between fearne and orym after ep 34 (also do you think fearne lied about the coin flip or no? Pretty popular theory going around right now)

After the events of C3E33 and C3E34, I wasn't quite up to re-opening vignette requests, but... this is an idea I'd been somewhat pondering in my head already, so I'll answer this particular Ask.

Re: the theory... I genuinely don't know. I imagine it'll come out in the wash later, one way or another.

"Living With One's Choices"

It was late afternoon, or so Orym guessed as he sat cross-legged on the floor, Imogen curled up around Laudna's body to his left, Fearne curled up against him on his right. Even in her sleep, Fearne had one hand on his knee, her fingers loosely clutching his pants leg in her grip as though afraid he'd disappear.

Orym glanced over at Imogen, who was weeping softly in her sleep, and he gently tucked an errant lock of her hair back behind her ear, and Imogen subsided into silence once more. On Laudna's other side was Ashton, one hand resting on Laudna even in sleep. FCG was powered down nearby, and Chetney was in a small ball at Laudna's feet.

He felt a faint tugging at his pants leg, and Orym turned back to see Fearne's eyes were open and gazing up at him, shining with tears.

"You need to sleep," he whispered to her, but she shook her head.

"Not just yet. I... I'm sorry, Orym."

"For what?"

Fearne sniffled and let go of him just long enough to wipe away her tears with the back of her hand.

"I was... I was selfish. I brought you back, because I was scared and... I was lonely and I... I was so afraid for you."

Orym looked down at her in concern. "Why?"

"When I was... well, dead... before Letters brought me back, I was in this awful place. It was green and dark and really icky, and all these eyes... and well, it was a little bit exciting, but I really didn't want to stay there. And when I woke up... and Grass said you were dead, too... I was so afraid that you were in a place like that and I couldn't just leave you there."

Then she began to cry in earnest. "But now I've left Laudna there, and I feel terrible."

"Shhh, Fearnie, shhh." He stretched out next to her and hugged her, rubbing her shoulders in slow circles. "It wasn't like that for me. Not in the slightest bit. I think it's different for everyone. So don't you worry about Laudna. For all we know, she's with her mom and dad again. And she told me... she told me a while back how she'd had a lot of great things happen to her since... well, since she died. And she had a lot of love in her. I don't think she'd blame you at all."

"What do you think she'd say?"

"I think... she'd tell you to take care of Imogen. And be there for her."

"I was going to do that anyway. And, well, I did promise her that we'd find a way to bring her back."

"Then that's what we'll do. Together."

Fearne was quiet for a little bit, then very softly, Orym heard, "What... was it like? For you?"

Fresh pain tore through Orym's heart like a jagged blade, but he swallowed hard. "I was... in Zephrah. And it was just as beautiful as I remember it. And..." He tried valiantly, but still the tears fell. "Will... was there. My beautiful Will. Waiting for me."

Tears welled up in Fearne's eyes once more. "Oh, no... no no no and I stole you away from him-"

"Shhh." Orym hugged her even tighter and pressed his forehead against Fearne's. "No. Don't you dare think that. I chose to come back. And Will understands why. There's still so much to do. So much to set right. And you need me." He pulled away just long enough to kiss Fearne's forehead and then rested his against hers once more.

"It's okay... I promise." A flash of a sad smile crossed his face, and without thinking about it, he imitated Laudna's cultured tones. "'Focus your brain forward. It's not worth being sad about what can't be changed.' That's what she said. So that's what we'll do."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay. You're the smart one." Fearne hugged him closer. "I'm so glad you're my friend, Orym. Thank you for coming back to me." Then she closed her eyes, and Orym heard her whisper, "And thank you, Will, for understanding. About the whole stealing thing. It's borrowing, really."

Despite himself, Orym chuckled. "Now get some sleep. We've all had a really long day." He sat up once more and settled himself comfortably in a cross-legged position, only to feel Fearne once again reach out and take his hand in hers.

Before long, he heard her breathing become slow and steady, leaving Orym alone in the stillness with his thoughts, remembering the warmth of Will's embrace, and feeling the warmth of Fearne's hand in his.