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panzer-of-the-lake · 3 years

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The ending of Return of the Jedi:

It's a very emotional scene. Luke watches sadly as Vader's body is burned in a traditional jedi pyre. The symbolism drawing back to Anakin's fall, his metamorphosis into the terrifying force of Vader via being burned alive, now his hulking form finally laid to rest in the dying embers of the Empire. It is so very touching~

Except for the SMELL. Dank Ferrik, it must have been unbearable! All that plastic circuitry, rubber hosing and metal appendages, mixed with 20 year old barbeque swirling into a cacophony summed up by the worst burning dishwasher smell the galaxy has ever seen. And worst of all, how do you point out that most of those in attendance have probably aquired a nice case of mild respiratory illness? It's Luke. Skywalker. Probably the most powerful being alive, AND his dad just died! Your best bet was probably Han walking behind Luke with a bottle of Space Febreeze; "Ah, hey kid. (Psst) I'm uh, (psst) real sorry about (psst) your dad. (Psst) Just uh, (psst) let me know if you (psst) need anything (psstpsstpsst).

#star wars #return of the jedi

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whatohiuhli · 8 years

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Not Anymore

all these conditionings that have helped me get by and learn how to develop a self. they don’t serve me anymore.

the habit of excusing your faults without accepting them and disregarding the pain I would feel

the habit of putting your concerns before mine in fear of being inconsiderate and then resenting you for not equating selflessness

the habit of expecting you to return what I would give in abundance

the habit of believing you’d truly see me the way I wanted you to

the habit of wanting you to reciprocate the care and nurture i expressed to you

the habit of turning your presence into a safety net

I realize now that you could never love me the way I needed to be loved. You are not in a position to share yourself with someone and I can’t allow myself to give more of my intimacy with parasitic habits engrained into the touch I give you. The desire that drew me deep into your grasp died three years ago. And the only thing that keeps me from completely walking away from our friendship is the mess of a structure that is our relationship. It is real even though it’s built on a weary foundation. We’ve been negligent to our connection. We’ve mistreated each other and the atmosphere has slowly grown toxic even though it is periodically febreezed with good intentions. You have created a ‘me’ in your perceptions that you could never commit to, and so you won’t. And this has never been the true source of my pain.

The hurt is not allowing ourselves to let go of the lie. We haven’t loved each other the way we once did for some time now. It was brief and beautiful and I will treasure the moment I fell in love with you. But I need to properly mourn its death now and move on. I can’t hope for a turn around at this point in time. I have hurt myself enough to know it’s not here for me, with you. At this point it’s too late for convincing and high time for moving forward with a chin up and open heart.

My love for you was a sight to behold and a warmth to last winters. But it did not hold you. So I’ll leave you with an ember of friendship and wish you the best on your endeavors without me. I don’t regret giving you so much of me, I hope it’s helped prepare you for the one who keeps. You will find someone who will teach you that you do not need them to be amazing or perfect to validate your existence… and their love is all you really needed to feel value for life in their presence. Hopefully she will be able to instill true modesty and a warmer state of consciousness that you preach for. Hopefully she will open your eyes to the abundance that you are already swimming in. Hopefully she will redefine gratitude in your spirit and

Hopefully you will truly see her Not for what she does for you But because she is in front of you and her love is priceless and not to be taken lightly.

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