#feel free to hop in and judge the vibes before you commit

[rowwiz]

to my fellow death note crazies: https://discord.gg/tWytXDsWrf

brand-new death note server, come check it out (please?)

[ramblinganthropologist]

The dumbest thing I ever wrote

I’m not tagging this.

Summary: all he wanted to do was drink his coffee

You know... Fenris was really more of a cat person.

“Neither of you can have dairy.”

Really, it was more Chewy that was doing the begging, but Dog wasn't too far behind. The Hawke household's pair of mabaris were in fine form that morning as he held his mug high above where they could reach on four paws. If they went up on two, it was game over – but they were too well trained for that. Instead he just got a lethal case of puppy eyes as he made his way from the kitchen, coffee in hand.

He just wanted to drink his coffee without a morning parade of furry friends. How did Fereldens put up with it?

“No. Sit. Stay.”

The magic words caused both dogs to sit on their haunches and stop moving. Fenris breathed a sigh of relief as he slipped away, heading upstairs and careful not to spill a drop. The spell would be broken soon enough, usually by Chewy first. She was as impulsive as her mistress – it was why they made such a good team. Problem was... he really wanted his coffee.

The elf sighed in relief as he reached the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Inside it was dog free and quiet. After checking to make sure the seat was down, he sat on the toilet with mug in hand. Best of all, his coffee was still warm.

Really... Fereldens were a special people to live with mabari.

“Finally.”

His first sip of coffee made the entire day look brighter. Fenris felt his mood lifting as he sat back, enjoying the quiet. Every time he stayed over, there was something... interesting in the morning. This was just one of those things he was learning to live with. Deal with Hawke, deal with dogs, or so the saying went. He may have made it up, but it was a good one.

Speaking of... Chewy was definitely at the door, whimpering softly in the hopes she might be able to squeeze her massive frame under the small gap in order to reach him. For some reason, the furry mountain was enamored with him. He chalked it up to how her mistress treated him and it was something like transference of feelings. Or maybe it was the ears. She liked to lick her owner's when she got the chance.

Dogs were weird like that.

“You're too big to fit, Chewy.” Fenris found a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he watched the poor creature try to slip a paw under the door. She had probably learned that from Anders' cat. Unlike Pounce, she was far too big for it and just managed to nudge her paw against the door. In a sad way, it was adorable.

Poor thing didn't realize how big she actually was.

He continued to sip his coffee, quietly enjoying the morning save for the whimpering dog on the other side of the door. No, not Dog – Dog was quiet. He was a good boy, almost as quiet as his master some days. But he was there too, either because Chewy was there or because he wanted to be with Fenris as well. With that one, it was hard to tell.

“Hey, there's nobody dead behind there, is it? Better not be Moses or Anders, or we're all kinds of fucked.”

A voice cut through the dog whimpers, and footsteps approached the door. There was two of them, so it was probably a human. The doorknob rattled, and then the person swore softly as they realized it was locked. Fenris had learned that one the hard way.

“If I was dead, would I be able to answer?”

Avery Hawke's voice carried through the wood. “In Kirkwall? Who knows – down girl, leave the man alone. Go find Sandal, he'll play with you.”

Chewy barked, and then Fenris listened as the sound of paws padded against wood at a high rate of speed. There went the mountain mabari, her constant companion at her heels as they sought out their other favorite playmate. For the moment, it was just sentient beings.

Just the way he liked his mornings.

Fenris got up from the toilet and walked over to the door, mug still in hand. “Your dog wanted some of my coffee.”

“I hope you didn't give her any, she's wired as it is.” Avery chuckled softly as the doorknob rattled. “Going to let me in, or am I locked out too?”

The locked clicked softly as he turned it. On the other side of the door stood one of his favorite people in Kirkwall, looking as though she had just finished getting dressed for the day. Judging from the lack of activity, they were the only two awake.

Because of course the mages were sleeping in. Who didn't see that one coming?

“Thanks. I needed to brush my teeth before heading down to grab something to eat.” Right, a dragon had to take care of her fangs. Fenris moved to the side to allow her access to the sink. Up on the step stool she went. “Why you in here anyway? You don't look like you took a shower or anything.”

Fenris raised his mug of half finished coffee as she worked on keeping her sharp teeth in check. “Your dog is persistent in her desires.”

It took her a few seconds to answer, given her mouth was full of a purple toothbrush and a lot of foam. He was probably saved from whatever snappy comeback had come to her lightning fast brain. Instead, she focused on getting the taste of mint out of her mouth. For some reason, she couldn't stand the taste. Blood and lyrium were no problem, but mint? Forget about it.

Again, Fereldens – he would never understand them.

“So you're drinking your coffee in the bathroom?”

She cocked her eyebrow as he took another sip of the mentioned beverage. Fenris met her gaze with his own, brain night quite vibing on her level. In his mind, it was safer than out in the open at that time of day. Desperate times, desperate measures and all that.

“Yes?”

Avery snorted as she wiped her mouth off. “Gross.”

Fenris shook his head, already feeling like this was something he shouldn't ask. Curiosity and the cat, he supposed. “And why is that?”

He watched as the half elf hopped off her stool and approached him. On flat feet, she came up to his shoulder, but that was plenty of area to work with when it wasn't early in the morning and he had a mug full of coffee he very much wanted to drink. Well, half full – it had been a busy morning after all.

“Cause it's the bathroom. I dunno, a dick could wind up in it or something.”

…

Fenris' eyebrow met his hairline. “A dick. In my coffee.”

“Yeah. Dicks are out in the bathroom my dude.” Her tone was matter of fact. “Kind of the place for it after all.”

This was the logic that led to someone drinking dragon's blood, no doubt.

Still, Fenris couldn't help but chuckle as he tried to work through her leaps in thought. Maybe that was why he sat back down on the covered toilet, coffee still in hand. “I think it may be worth the risk. No doubt I would notice a rogue phallus heading towards my drink.”

In hindsight, he realized he probably shouldn't have said that. In his defense, it was early and the coffee wasn't working perfectly yet. Maybe if it had, he would have noticed the look in Avery's eyes or how they quickly darted down to the zipper of her distressed jeans.

“That so?”

Fenris knew that tone. “Avery-”

But there was the grin, and down went the zipper. And then... well, he couldn't say he didn't commit to her routines. When she had a plan, she stuck with it to the bitter end.

But still... really? In his coffee?

His eyebrow stayed by his hairline. “You're lucky that wasn't hot.”

“Oh, come on. You know fire doesn't kill a dragon.” Avery sounded quite proud of herself, all things considered. Fenris suppressed a groan, knowing full well she had been storing that line for ages, just waiting for it. Maybe he was lucky he was the only one to hear it. Had others been around, it might have only encouraged her further.

You know, besides the circumstance he currently found himself in. It could be worse.

Avery was still chuckling as she dried off and zipped her jeans back up. However, she let out a sudden squeak and almost doubled over, face turning red. Fenris winced, one eye closing, as he watched her struggle through it.

Fire might not have killed a dragon, but metal teeth just might.

“Are you-”

“I need healing.”

Her voice came out as a strangled squeak. Fenris got to watch as she stumbled out of the bathroom, no doubt making a route for her other lover to fix it. After all... there were just things you didn't ask your brother to do. At least Avery had the sense to close the door behind her so the dogs couldn't get in.

Thanks to that, he was alone with his altered drink. Fenris stared down at it, contemplating if it was still worth drinking. He could go get another cup, one that hadn't been... well, he could get another one. But that was in the kitchen, and it meant going through the wall of muscle and fur that would be waiting for him.

So he took another sip. After all... it wasn't like he hadn't ever had her in his mouth before. This was more of a transitive process anyway.

Was it weird he had almost thought it would taste like nuts?

…

Yeah, probably. But Fenris didn't care as he continued drinking his coffee in silence. Eventually, he was going to have to leave the bathroom and face the day. Until then, however... it was just him and his mug with the only source of sanity in the Hawke household.

He really did have strange taste in women. But it could be worse. At least she closed the door for him.

[303magazine]

While it may not always come with free two-day shipping, there are a lot of perks when you buy local. First, it is good for your community — on average 48% of your purchase goes back into the local economy compared to 14% of chain stores. Additionally, as is the case for this guide, your gifts are likely to be more unique, locally made or ethically sourced. So not only will your present seem more special, it’ll probably last longer and doesn’t come with a ton of ethical baggage. If this isn’t enough to convince you, this list was compiled by real-life local people (editor’s nonetheless) who not only endorse but actually enjoy the products on this list. And as a triple bonus, we were not paid by any of these companies for these inclusions (which has always been our policy, but we figured we’d remind you). Every year, we get together and ask one simple question: what do you recommend? Here are our answers.

Note: all of our selections are under $150! Go here to read our 2018 picks.

Food & Booze

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Local Booze & Beverages

Cost: Prices range

Where to get it: Local liquor stores, like Mr. B’s or Argonaut 

The Lowdown: A bottle of booze is usually a no brainer gift and luckily Denver has an insane amount of great locally made hooch. This season, we’d recommend checking out the freshly released Atticus Jones — the Family Jones’ straight rye whiskey made with 100% Colorado grains. Their first grain-to-glass spirit has all of the spice you’d want from a rye whiskey but with added dark cherry and molasses notes from its 10% of malted barley. If your giftee is more of a beer drinker, Longmont’s Left Hand has a solid gift pack of eight nitro beers that gives you that creamy deliciousness of a nitro beer at home (just make sure you follow the hard pour rules on the side of the can). It features their most famous core nitro beers including their famous original milk stout. But the one we love is the chai milk stout which really does have that chai spice flavor. If you’re on the hard seltzer train, we just rounded up the best ones in the state, so you can take your pick.

If you want something non-alcoholic but just as enjoyable, we can’t stop drinking the hop teas from Boulder’s Hoplark. In fact, they aren’t pictured because we accidentally drank them all. They are perfect if you’re trying to kick your beer habit or doing a sober month after the holidays because they slightly taste like a hoppy beer but in a weirdly satisfyingly way. (PS you can find these at the Whole Foods Union Station). CBD waters also provide some relaxing effects minus the booze and there’s none better than Salida’s DRAM (also found at Mr. B’s liquor stores).

Local Coffee

Cost: $3- $100

Where to get it: Queen City Collective Coffee 2962 Welton St., Denver or 305 W 1st Ave, Denver or online at Dragonfly Coffee Roasters 

The Lowdown: Almost everyone knows a coffee snob — hell, we are some of them. So if you’re hoping to buy a bag or two for your favorite ‘decaf or die’ friend, you can’t just go to the grocery and pick up any old bag. Rather look locally at two incredible roasters: Dragonfly Coffee Roasters and Queen City Collective Coffee. The former is for the serious aficionado, as Dragonfly was named one of the top roasters in the entire US by Forbes magazine and offers some of the rarest coffees in the world. So prices range wildly from a $14 bag of a classic espresso roast for your everyday drinker to a $100 Panama Geisha. For the perpetually busy and caffeinated type, Queen City Collective is the first in the city to offer steeped coffee bags. Functioning similarly to a tea bag, the environmentally sustainable one-cup solution is much better than a K-Cup and not as much work as a pour-over. If you want a splash of good in your coffee, they also launched a Made by HER program featuring coffees from women-run co-ops. Just look for the logo when you’re in store either in Baker or their new Five Points location.

Local Discount Guidebooks

Cost: $25-55

Where to get it: EatDenver Dining Deck // Denver Passport

The Lowdown: Every gift guide we typically recommend a few of these discount guidebooks because it’s a great way to explore new bars and restaurants and helps answer the age-old question: where do we go for dinner (or drinks)? Plus, they don’t look or feel anything like your grandma’s coupon books. Once again, we are recommending the Denver Passport  — the buy one, get one drink book — for two reasons: you get a bonus mountain passport and it also includes some buy one, get one coffee as well. Additionally, the booklet is always well-curated and does a good job of getting a feel for what’s cool, new and just flat out good in the city. For EatDenver, their dining deck was just revamped with the help of the former 5280 Dining editor and it has some fun new options. Alongside its more than $500 drink and food deals at 55 locally and independently owned restaurants, they threw in trivia on each card and a food and drink themed scavenger hunt through LoHi. It sounds like a great date night to us.

Pro tip: if you want to make the gift feel more personalized create an itinerary for a day based around spots in the guidebooks that you’d recommend. Maybe throw in a restaurant gift card to round out the experience.

Lifestyle + Culture

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Natura Obscura Tickets

Cost: $10-20 purchase online in advance here

The Lowdown: If you’re looking for a gift that is an experience rather than something tangible, tickets to one of the most sought-after immersive art installations in Colorado will do the trick. Called Natura Obscura, the experience puts visitors into an enchanted forest created by a handful of artists, filled with riddles, hidden symbology, augmented reality and more. Although the original closing date was in April, popular demand has kept it open. But the word is that Natura Obscura closes for good on December 29, so this will have to be a gift that is instantly enjoyed.

READ: Explore a Surreal Immersive Forest at Museum of Outdoor Arts’ Newest Exhibit

CultureHaus Membership

Cost: $105 per year, purchase here

The Lowdown: Another gift for the “doers” and experience-seekers in your life is a membership to the Denver Art Museum’s fundraising group, CultureHaus. Throughout the year, members are invited to special events like street art bus tours, late-night cocktail hours at the museum and more. Members also get to meet other art lovers in the city. 

Laser Show inside the International Church of Cannabis

Cost: $10-15 tickets, buy in advance here

The Lowdown: This gift mixes art and culture with one of Denver’s most notorious characteristics — marijuana. The International Church of Cannabis is an actual church with followers (who call themselves Elevationists) but the building offers members and non-members alike the thrill of standing beneath a monumental ceiling painting by world-renowned street artist Okuda San Miguel. The church now has laser shows and other events beneath the breathtaking piece of art, and you can buy tickets to wow your loved ones and stoke their burning questions about weed in Colorado. 

READ: International Church of Cannabis Reaches New Heights With Meditative Art Experience

Juju Be Gone, “Feeling Mystical?” Curated Gift Box

Cost: $125 (and other various prices) 

The Lowdown: Juju Boxes are curated gift boxes that are sent directly to your recipient, neatly packaged and thoughtfully crafted. Based in Denver, these boxes are all about “good vibes” and spreading joy, matching the sunny disposition that most people attribute to the Mile High City. There are dozens of combinations — gifts or her, for him, for the holidays — and all of them are geared toward lifting spirits and brightening attitudes through spirituality and “a little bit of sass.” The one pictured is the “Feeling Mystical?” collection which includes a pendulum, a recharging bath soak, Mystic Mondays tarot deck, The Golden Book of Fortune-Telling, a sage smudge and matches. It’s $125 (plus an extra $18.95 for the smudge and match add-on) and can include a personal message to your friend or loved one. Check out this page for the Holiday-themed boxes and this page for the “Feeling Mystical?” box.  

Awaken Sex Boutique

Cost: Between $15 and $79 or $141 before tax, two locations.

The Lowdown: These presents are definitely best for your intimate relationships, although the name of the game at Awaken Sex Boutique is destigmatization so we aren’t going to judge who you want to give these sexy items to. We asked the owners to put together a fun selection and the results made us tingle a little. Starting with the big-ticket item, pick up the Crave Vesper ($79) which is a vibrating necklace that is unassuming and stylish. Or, go for the combination of a Saint Orgasma prayer candle designed by Denver-based artist Kaitlin Zeismer ($15) and a silky blindfold and handcuff set ($27). Finally, if you’re hoping to snag something for a friend rather than a partner, grab the How to Date Men When You Hate Men coffee table book for some laughs and maybe some really sound advice.

Fashion

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Adventure Gear with Purpose

Cost: $55-$130

The Lowdown: If you have friends or family who appreciate the great outdoors, these are exceptional options for both men and women. Maroon Bell Outdoor’s Buffalo Leather Gloves ($65) are fitted and durable to wear for any venture you embark on. The local brand also gives 3% of the profits back to various nonprofits. For your adventure seekers, Adventurist Backpack Co. backpacks have exceptional quality and a clean design. Each backpack ($55-$85) is water-resistant, durable and comes with premium YKK zippers. Adventurist Backpack Co. also works with Feeding America to ensure families across the U.S. are provided with meals.

Sustainably-Made Skincare

Cost: Prices Vary

The Lowdown: This year, we rounded up the best in local skincare and beauty brands committed to sustainability and low-impact production, so you can feel good about what you’re giving. Homefill at Modern Nomad has plenty of options for the eco-friendly beauty guru ranging from CBD lip balm to package-free shampoo and conditioner bars. Aurora-based company, LipBar, creates custom cosmetics and personal, “makeup counter” experiences. Fan-favorite, Dram Apothecary, offers CBD Adaptogenic Beauty Drops ($56) that are organic, vegan and alcohol-free and can help protect your body, skin and hair from environmental stressors. Based in Fort Collins and owned and operated by a licensed esthetician, WildBloom Skincare offers a wide range of products that were created along the guidelines of the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Database. Blue Willow full-spectrum CBD products are infused with botanicals and essential oils to create high-quality, effective and clean skin topicals. WildBloom Skincare and Blue Willow are also women-owned and operated.

Locally-Made Accessories 

Cost: Prices Vary 

The Lowdown: Jewelry reigns supreme for classic gift-giving. Whether you’re shopping for your spouse or a family member, gifting a unique spin on a delicate accessory is a good way to go. Luckily, Denver based-company, Balefire Goods supports local jewelry designers that provide distinctive jewelry made from a variety of stones and metals. Eco-friendly jeweler, Nikki Nation, designed a Droplet Arc Necklace in Gold Vermeil ($121) made for someone who prefers statement pieces. For the one who’s currently obsessing with the geometric trend, gift Acebo Jewelry’s ($98) semi pearl studs made in sterling silver with gray/lavender water pearls. Both are available through the Balefire Goods website. Denver handbag designers, Kaci Head and Jay Davis both create luxury leather goods, from wallets to tote-sized bags, in a variety of styles, shapes and colors. Both designers also custom create each bag by hand right here in Denver. 

Local Streetwear

Cost: Prices Vary 

The Lowdown: For the fashion conscious and eco-conscious as well, local streetwear brand, False Ego, is the way to go. Each design is made using 100% certified organic recycled cotton, bamboo cotton and Supima cotton. Additionally, False Ego plants a tree for each product sold in a partnership the company developed with Tree-Nation. New South Broadway boutique and clothing brand, NOVL, is a perfect option for streetwear fans who also love the city’s art community. Owners, Taylor Sandona and Tyler Harwood, have taken great care to partner with local street artists for their apparel designs and have worked tirelessly to create a space filled with local street artists’ work. Denver-based footwear brand, Hypo Footwear, is the city’s premier sneaker company, with multiple designs available for both men and women to outfit any streetwear fan from head to toe. 

Music

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Mission Ballroom Custom Poster

Cost: Auction

The Lowdown: Concerts at the brand new Mission Ballroom are special, but promoters AEG Presents have gone a step further. For many of the acts that come through the venue, AEG commissions a custom gallery print designed by Kii Arens to accompany the show. These gallery prints are one of a kind and are only available on an auction basis. To get a hold of your favorite band’s custom print stay up to date with Mission Ballroom here.

Flaming Lips Soft Bulletin Vinyl with Colorado Symphony at Red Rocks

Cost: $40 + shipping 

The Lowdown: Limited edition vinyl distributed by Vinyl Me, Please of The Flaming Lips’ critically acclaimed 1999 album Soft Bulletin at Red Rocks with the Colorado Symphony in 2016. 

303 Music Vol. 2

Cost: $22 + shipping

The Lowdown: This all-around local vinyl benefits non-profit Youth on Record and includes 12 talented local musicians including Tennis, DeVotchKa and The Motet. There’s the added bonus that the album art is by local artist Anna Churney and the vinyl itself is a work of art with its custom splatter paint. 

Local photographer concert prints

Robert Castro 

Cost: Contact photographer for pricing.

The Lowdown: Ultra5280’s very own founder happens to be one of the most versatile photographers in the business. Castro has shot most shows around the Denver-metro area, with the added bonus of going to several national festivals including Austin City Limits. For variety and straightforward beauty, check out his gallery here.  

Alden Bonecutter 

Cost: Starting cost $15 for a 5X7 print, ranging up to $150 for a 24X36. Willing to print all photos on his website as well as his Instagram. 

The Lowdown: Bonecutter is the official Mission Ballroom photographer, and there’s a reason why he’s got that gig. With his color editing ranging from all parts of the pastel color wheel, his work leans on the ethereal, making for a dream-like picture you can’t wait to hang up on your wall.  

Editor’s note: Alden Bonecutter also works for 303 Magazine. 

  Colorado Local Set

Cost: Prices start at $100 depending on the local set

The Lowdown: For an unparalleled intimate experience at Red Rocks, the Colorado Local Set is just the right gift for you. The local sets vary from every music genre and put you right in the middle of the action with an intimate concert in the Red Rocks visitor center followed by a themed dinner and a tour of Red Rocks’ backstage. 

All photography by Amanda Piela, unless otherwise noted

Editor’s Guide to the Best Local Gifts in Denver 2019 While it may not always come with free two-day shipping, there are a lot of perks when you buy local.