#fic: bttifowiw

[ugh-yoongi]

↳ by the time i’ve figured out what it’s worth ✤ the playlist

death cab for cutie - transatlanticism // the story so far - clairvoyant // bon iver - skinny love // the national - i need my girl // 5 seconds of summer - outer space // benjamin francis leftwich - atlas hands // love spit love - am i wrong // lorde - ribs // beck - lost cause // gracie abrams - i know it won't work // billie eilish - tv // the zolas - cultured man // fall out boy - fourth of july // mac miller - self care // jim croce - time in a bottle // joan - drive all night // frank ocean - pink matter (feat. andre 3000) // pierce the veil - emergency contact // purity ring - pink lightning // japanese breakfast - somethingfartoogoodtofeel

in case anyone was curious what i was listening to during the writing process! a little sneak peek into my brain. i would love to hear your thoughts! which do you think fits the most? ♡

[ugh-yoongi]

Hi dear author,

I'm writing this long-ass message, primarily, to send you some love and appreciation. I've been a reader of your works, not for too long, I'm sorry, I'm new to the world of BTS ff. Been here maybe a year? Yeah. So I found you some time back, and in the months since, have practically read and loved everything I've been able to consume.

I know you have so many beloved fics. And I've loved too many of them as well. But I'd like to bring your attention to BTTIFOWIW. The angst, the way you wrote Yoongi, and oc. You have a keen eye, thank you for gifting us, your readers and followers, with this beautiful piece.

Firstly, Yoon fics are few and far between. Everyone and their mother writes and reads and likes fics for kook, which is completely fine, but it leaves Yoon fics in a bit of a corner, with quality and quantity.

Which brings me to secondly, most writers write Yoon in a certain box. An insincere box. Now I know none of us know what he's actually like. Ik ik. But purely subjectively speaking, there's a certain way I view him. And you did an immaculate job with how you wrote it. At least, it tugged at my heart.

Lastly, I guess I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this main reason why I loved the fic as much. You wrote the story, just as I would have. The characters, Yoon's and OC's. The language. The responses to stimuli. The quips about an all knowing therapist who knows when to bite his tongue and his all knowing smile. OC's tears during the first intimate scene of the story. And Yoon's. Everything. I'm not trying to placate you, and I'm not saying everything is perfect. I'm saying it touched me. I'm saying Thank You. I'm not a writer here, I guess I don't have the balls to write here. Or the fact that I know how self-critically I am. But I've been a writer outside irl for all my life. So it touched me to read something I felt spoke my language and writing style. The effort, emotions and time you spent on this is not going unnoticed, at least by me. And I know I'm no one. Just, wanted to send you some love.

I've had a particularly disgusting year in 2023, and it's not eased up as yet. So I appreciate the escapism your words continue to provide me with.

Thank you for the stories.

Lots of love,

🎈

(I connect a lot with this red balloon. You can assume it's filled with a lot of positivity I'm sending your way! And no, I'm not sending you this signature to stay anonymous. I have anonymity through this account. I just prefer ending messages with this red balloon.)

first, thank you so much for sending me this. it was so lovely and so kind, and a really nice thing to wake up to.

i'm going to respond under a cut bc i'm sure this will get ramble-y. <3

thank you for finding me, and i'm very glad you've enjoyed the work of mine you've read thus far!

it's interesting what you're seeing as someone new to bts fanfiction. i feel like most fics these days are either yoongi or jk, and speaking anecdotally, my yoongi fics are always the ones that get the most engagement. (aside from awfos, that one is an outlier and i still can't really believe it.)

i tend to agree with you re: characterization. i think all the members sort of get pigeon-holed into certain tropes/roles, but (for me, at least) i find yoongi to be the most... versatile? a blank slate? i think it's because he's so calm in what we see of him. it's easy to sort of project onto him who you think he is, for better or worse.

bttifowiw would not have worked with any other member for this reason, i think.

i also think we're able to write those sorts of characters and connect with them because they're similar to us, and there's so much of me in both the leads in that story. there's so much of my husband and my story and also a lot of nonsense and fiction, but it had to be yoongi.

anyway. thank you for reading it. that story is so important to me because it's so personal, but it's for that same reason that i'm a little terrified every time someone does engage with it, so it means a lot to me to hear you connected with it in some way.

i'm sorry to hear about your 2023. i am sending you all the good vibes that 2024 gets easier for you and some of your burdens begin to ease. it's really hard to exist right now, and i am sending you a lot of love. hang in there. <3

[ugh-yoongi]

Juat read 'By the time i've figured out what it's worth | myg'

"As you press a kiss to his lips, you think you might give him whatever he wants", this line broke me, after all the hurt and pain both of them had been through, yes, they still love each other, and it's the simple touches of love that brings them together...i-😭

This was honestly so raw and beautiful, i loved it! Thank you so much for writing this 🥺♥️♥️

ah, thank you so much!

i've said it a billion times before in regards to that fic, but it really was so personal, and it really means the world to me when others are able to connect with or find something in it.

thank you for reading it. that, too, means a lot to me. <3

[ugh-yoongi]

By the time I’ve figured out what it’s worth filled me with so much love and hope. Hit me right in my little child of divorce heart. Truly beautiful thank you.

thank you so much 🖤

i am also a child of divorce so i’m glad it could move you in some way. thank you for reading and sending such a lovely message.

[ugh-yoongi]

loving the new yoongi fic im gobbling it up it's 5:30 am where i live but i can't stop reading it i already cried so many times and im not even close to finishing it you write so well I'm completely amazed ty so much for sharing your work AND THAT'S FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ANGST OOF

MY FRIEND. YOU DONT EVEN LIKE ANGST AND YOU READ IT?? ARE YOU OKAY??

thank you so much for reading!! i’m so sorry i made you cry at such an ungodly hour but i hope the ending made up for it a lil and you can sleep soundly knowing they’re ok 🖤

[ugh-yoongi]

your yoongi fic is incredible, your writing is incredible, thank you for sharing it. now i'll have to try thinking about anything else for the rest of the day, other than yoongi being my husband and our marriage being fixed

thank you, anon! i’m really glad you enjoyed it.

sharing it was Very Scary so i really appreciate you taking the time to message and share your thoughts! husband yoongi (should’ve been a warning tag tbh) will always be there whenever you need him. 🖤

[ugh-yoongi]

i would u would write a fic like bttifowiw but starring jin x reader. it would ruin my life. it would save me. it would

could i put my beloved angel baby in such a Situation? would EYE survive it??

i would love to do this tho

[ugh-yoongi]

Bttifowiw is one of my fav fics of all time and a Jin version would destroy me yes please

OF ALL TIME?????

what an honor ok i will open a google doc and make some notes rn

[ugh-yoongi]

I’ve just finished reading “by the time I’ve figured out what it’s worth” and it was so healing (definitely messed me up before I reached that conclusion but I digress). I went through a four year relationship with more downs than ups and recently ended it after going through so much pain. I still struggle with my decision and wished so badly for someone who wanted to stick around and work through the mess. After reading this, I wondered if my relationship could’ve been worked through if I stuck through it. But I’m also trying to be kind to myself and am excited to love again - this time with someone who actually is willing and wanting to fight through discomfort to work through things. Idk tldr this made me acknowledge the nostalgia/sadness Ive been sitting in but also made me realize that I am worth it. And someone else will see that too. Thanks for your beautiful writing and the comfort you’ve given me

hi, friend. <3

first, thank you so much for reading my work. that's not important in the grand scheme of things, but i really appreciate you taking the time to do so and to leave such a kind, honest message.

as i've said before, bttifowiw was a very personal fic for me. it was inspired by a really tough time in my own marriage, but i also wrote it to remind myself to let go of all of the harmful things we were taught about love and relationships. that it conquers all and all that. because it doesn't, and that's okay.

thinking about the what-ifs is to be expected, especially after such a long time with someone. mourning both what you had and what you could've. and, for better or worse, sometimes people are incapable of being who we want them to be. that doesn't necessarily mean they're a bad person, just not the right person for you.

relationships will always take work, but you deserve to be with someone who thinks the discomfort and all the ugly parts are just as worthwhile as the good parts. you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you and never acts out of malice and will be your partner, not just in the romantic sense, but will be a person who will tackle the hard parts head-on with you.

definitely be kind to yourself. center yourself. know that you will find and experience love again and it will be a breath of fresh air. i am wishing you the absolute best, and i am glad i was able to comfort you in such a small way. <3

[ugh-yoongi]

angelou, butler and walker for the ask game

hi friend, ty for asking!

angelou ⇢ which of your characters do you relate to the most?

bttifowiw mc for sure. i know i've mentioned before how personal that fic is for me, but like. girlie IS me. there is so, so much of me in that story so please be nice to her :''''''') lmao.

butler ⇢ is there a character you wish you could develop further?

there are so many drabble characters i grow fond of while writing them, but i really cannot get attached because every single one would end up like fa&r, which was truly meant to just be a oneshot and now it's an entire cinematic universe. so, pick any drabble character/couple and just know i have immense fondness for them.

walker ⇢ quote one of your favorite lines you've written.

it's less of a quote and more an entire passage, but the mc in the hitman jimin fic is MY GIRLLLL and i'm a lil obsessed with her so you get a little snippet as a treat and maybe it'll inspire me to finally fucking finish it.

ask game for writers

[ugh-yoongi]

🤩 🙊 😁

hello hello tysm friend <3

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received? i've gotten a lot of really meaningful ones because of the type of story i tend to write (angsty smut with a heaping dose of mental illness) and i think people tend to connect with those. but i got a lot of comments along the lines of "i think this was something i was meant to find and read at this moment in my life" on bttifowiw.

i am going to sound like a broken record here but that is my most personal story ever so for anyone to connect with it was and continues to be mind-boggling to me and makes me very emotional each time.

🙊 Your coworkers or classmates stumble across one of your fics, but don't know you're the author. Do you fess up? Or keep quiet? i— well, i guess it depends lmao. my manager is army and a huge hobi stan so, like, if she found the retreat? yeah, i'd fess up to that. but some of my coworkers are dudes fresh out of college and if one of them found she, by proxy? no fucking wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i am taking that to my grave.

😁 What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks? it's all good to me <3 i know some people aren't comfy leaving comments or asks, so i'm pleased with any kind of interaction. i wish more people on here would reblog because the like-reblog ratios can be straight up depressing, but i've accepted that it's just the cost of business of posting on here. that anyone at all reads/shares/has thoughts about my work is good enough!

fanfic writer emoji ask game