#fighting for my fucking LIFE trying not to be nitpicky but god. they’re really making it hard

[maybedefinitely404]

American Dream

Genre: angst with a happy ending/fluff

Pairing: romantic Dukexiety 

World: just-out-of-high-school AU

Content: homophobia, threatened abuse from parents (no actual violence), extreme cold, getting kicked out, minor religious talk, getting outed, AIDS and death mention, fluffy Dukexiety because my heart needs it.

Word count: 2.3k

Comments: She doesn’t have Tumblr, but I need to give a shout out to my kiddo for proof reading and beta-ing most of my fics. She pushes me to write more, and even if she won’t see this, I just need to say it.  

This fic is inspired by the song American Dream by MKTO.

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up… 

The night coolness spread through Virgil like a sickness. It was unforgiving, toxic, seeped with the memories of the evening that curled through his stomach in dark tendrils. Below his bare feet, the sidewalk burned in the way that only ice does, small pebbles digging into his soles. He would do anything for socks. God, why hadn’t he grabbed socks? 

Probably for the same reason he hadn’t grabbed shoes. 

Please pick up, please pick up, c’mon, pick up already!

His eyes hurt. They already burned with unshed tears that he’d still been too scared to release, and the cool air didn’t help. Crying on the street was a vulnerability he wasn’t ready to face. His lungs burned. He’d been sprinting non-stop for who knows how long. His own panicked gulps for air and the all-too-loud hum of a blinking streetlight were the only sound on the silent street. Virgil had been watching the moths swarm at the fixture for who knows how long, finding odd solace in the fact that at least there was still some life in the darkness. They were still alive, untouched, same as they were yesterday and probably the same as they would be tomorrow, unfazed by the complete turmoil his life had become. And that was somewhat comforting. 

“Virgie, you okay? It’s almost midnight!”

Thank fucking god. He opened his mouth to speak, to explain to Remus what had happened. Obviously, Remus would care. That wasn’t a doubt in his mind; that was the only reason he wasn’t anxious as all fuck right now… about the call, that is. He was anxious about approximately everything else. But as soon as the first noise made its way past his lips, the first utterance of a plea for help, everything that he’d been holding back burst forth like a broken dam. He clamped his hand over his mouth, trying to muffle the loud sobbing that he suddenly couldn’t contain.

“Shit. Virgil, what happened? I’m coming over. Are you at home?”

That’s the issue. “No,” he gasped, mildly surprised he hadn’t crushed the phone with the way his grip tightened, “I got kicked out.”

“What the fuck?!”

Virgil flinched. “Can… can you come p-pick me up? I’m at the corner of Jackson and Pullard. Please, please, come get me…”

“Yes. Absolutely. I’m on my way. Stay there, okay?”

Virgil hung up reluctantly after agreeing, not wanting his boyfriend to drive while on the phone, even if Remus gladly would have done it. In fact, he’d used to do it all the time; text, eat, do his makeup, all while cruising down the freeway. He’d only put a stop to it when he saw how much it affected Virgil.  

He counted down the minutes on his phone, always having been nitpicky with times, knowing that it shouldn’t take Remus more than ten minutes to get there. If he remembered correctly where he was at the moment, that is. Remus had gotten kicked out of his parents’ house in his senior year of high school after a bad fight. They’d never really been great parents, always showing favoritism towards his brother (amongst other things), and he was more than willing to leave. Virgil had tried to beg his parents to let Remus stay with them, but they’d downright refused, calling him a bad influence and a string of other insults that Virgil didn’t even like to think about. God forbid what would happen if they found out the two were dating.

…Well, they did now. And God hadn’t exactly forbidden what they’d done. 

But Remus hadn’t had a solid place to live since it had happened almost a year ago. He couch surfed for a while, bouncing between some old friends who had now gone off to college, or just lived in his car. He’d made it work, and had claimed to Virgil that he actually didn’t mind it that much. If he was telling the truth, Virgil wasn’t sure. He’d saved up some money and bought an inflatable mattress that filled up his back seat area, and Virgil was able to give him his family’s old camping stove by convincing them they lost it. It’s not like they’d gone camping since he was a kid, anyways. Last he’d checked, Janus was home for break and Remus was staying with him for the two weeks he was in town, but those two weeks were probably pretty close to done. Unfortunately, Virgil and Janus had never gotten along, so Remus didn’t bring him up. It was a mutual understanding. 

As soon as Remus’ car pulled up to the curb, ten minutes on the dot, Virgil basically flung himself into the passenger seat. The car was warm, so so warm, he almost cried again, this time in relief. Remus pulled back onto the road as soon as he was buckled on. 

“Vee, what happened?” It wasn’t hard to guess, there were only so many reasons his parents would have to kick him out. He’d narrowed it down to his parent’s finally having it with Virgil’s tattoo artist dream, or… well… 

“Someone at my mom’s work found my Instagram. She went up to my mom, basically started gushing about ‘how handsome I was with my boyfriend’. Specifically the picture of us at Pride from a couple years ago.”

“Ah.” Remus knew the picture well. He’d printed it out and it was pinned to the inside of his sun visor. 

“Yeah. Mom called my dad, they were both waiting when I got home. Had screenshots and everything. They grilled me about ‘dishonoring God’ and ‘throwing away my life’. Said I was gonna get AIDS. Die before twenty five. Ya know. The whole lecture.”

Remus didn’t. Surprisingly, him being gay was not a concern of his parent’s. His brother was gay too, and they didn’t give a rat’s ass about that. He nodded along anyways.

“They went on for so long. It was insane. Then they dropped the whole ‘you’re not our son’ thing-” Virgil’s voice cracked, but he swallowed around the lump in his throat and continued, “I figured this is where it was leading to, them kicking me out? I thought they’d give me time to pack, though. Except my dad started getting physical-”

“HE WHAT?!” Remus was tempted to turn the fucking car around and drive to Virgil’s house, just to give his parents a piece of his mind. He was fuming; fuck, he hadn’t been this mad in a while.

“Relax, Rem. I got out before he could actually land a hit. That’s why I don’t have anything with me. I had to run.”

“Doesn’t make it any better.”

“I know.” Virgil pulled his feet up onto the seat cross legged, trying to rub some feeling back into them. Luckily, they weren’t bleeding, just cold as hell. That was one less thing to worry about. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Of course, Vi,” Remus’ voice had taken on a softer edge that he rarely allowed anyone to see, and he reached over to take one of Virgil’s hands into his own, “Speaking of which, why were you on Jackson? That’s, what, three miles away from your house?”

“When I say I ran, I mean literally. I was scared they would follow me.” Virgil shrugged, as if the statement wasn’t the most heartbreaking thing Remus had ever heard. “I wasn’t thinking clearly, I just ran. That’s why it took me so long to realize I should call you.”

Remus sighed, letting his thumb run against Virgil’s knuckles. “You don’t have to act all brave, Vi.”

“I don’t think I ever saw you cry when you got kicked out.”

“That’s because I didn’t love my parents. I honestly didn’t. I know your parents mean a lot to you. And I’m sorry it went down like it did.”

It was the truth, but he honestly didn’t want to think about it right now. What kind of loving family kicks out their child? Virgil took a shaky breath in and mumbled, “Can we talk about it tomorrow?”

“Okay. Let’s talk about something else. What’s our plan?”

Virgil was quiet for a long moment, as if deep in thought. He watched the scenery fade from his suburban area of town to the darker, rural parts of the town’s edge, not knowing or caring where they were driving. The escape from street lights was nice. “Why do we need a plan?”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up at the sudden playful tone in Virgil’s words. “Oh?”

“I mean, is anything really holding us here?” 

“My, my,” Remus crooned, pulling into an empty lot and parking in the furthest spot from the street, “I thought I was the impulsive one.”

“I’m serious, Rem!” Virgil laughed, swatting lightly at Remus’ hand. The happy sound was like music to his ears. “I’m dead serious! What’s keeping us here?”

“Patton? Logan?”

“Both across the country. And you know they’re considering staying there when they graduate.” Janus’ name was an understood thing. They both knew his school was barely an hour from the other two. Even if Virgil couldn’t stand the guy, he knew that Remus and Janus went far back. Judging by Remus’ slowly brightening expression, he could assume that Janus would probably be down to stay there as well. 

“Work?”

“I work at Walmart. They won’t miss me. Try again.”

Remus scrunched his eyebrows almost thoughtfully, even though this was maybe the easiest decision he’d ever had to make. Plus, they both knew Remus didn’t really ‘think’ in general. “It almost sounds like you want to take a roadtrip, my little emo.”

Virgil scrunched his nose at the nickname, but let a wider smile spread across his tear stained cheeks. “I kind of do.”

Remus shut the car off, turning to his boyfriend with a shit eating grin. “I like this new side of you.”

“Well…” Virgil’s voice turned sheepish under the almost cheshire cat level expression, “Should we?”

“Let’s make up our minds tomorrow.” Remus stated, gesturing to the mattress behind him, “Sleep for tonight. You must be exhausted, coming up with ideas like this.”

Virgil grumbled under his breath, something about ‘not being a baby’, but clambered into the backseat after Remus, double checking the locks on the doors as he went. The air mattress was comfier than he thought it would be, and it was only made better when Remus pulled him in like a teddy bear, tugging a blanket over them. They both sighed in contentment, then promptly burst out laughing at the synchronicity.  

“Oh my god, what have we become?” Remus gasped, pulling Virgil in closer nonetheless. Virgil snorted in response, looking up to meet Remus’ eyes through a haze of sudden exhaustion and amusement. The laughter died down slowly as they both gave in to their fatigue, finishing the day with a slow kiss that left them both breathless. Virgil fell asleep with plans forming and circulating through his mind, the rest of the evening almost forgotten.

--------------------------------------------

His parents were at work, and Virgil knew their kitchen window didn’t lock properly, which was what led to him stuffing everything he could into a black duffel bag while Remus kept watch from his car. He wasn’t too concerned about the parents coming home, but it gave him ample time to look over the map he’d bought from the gas station that morning and plan a route. He didn’t want to admit that his leg was shaking from pure excitement. This idea had been somewhere in the back of his mind for a long time, but he knew Virgil valued his relationship with his family and liked being near them, so he never brought it up. Granted, the situation wasn’t great, but he considered this ‘making the best of it’. A twisted paradise. 

He barely flinched as his trunk was thrown open and Virgil threw his bag inside before hopping back into his seat.

“Okay, so how about we drive up to Maine, apparently the sea food is legendary! Then we cut back through Ohio. There’s literally nothing in Ohio, but we can cross it off the list at least! And then-”

Virgil laughed, cutting him off, “I thought we weren’t planning!”

“Well, we need at least a rough idea,” Remus said with a pout, “What we do there and how long we stay, that’s up to impulse. I was thinking we should try to get through all the states, wouldn’t that be cool?”

Virgil could only nod, leaning forward to kiss Remus again. “Sounds amazing,” he murmured, so close they were almost touching. They’d talked to Logan and Patton earlier that morning, and they were equally as excited for the two of them. Remus had called Janus while Virgil was packing, quickly explaining the situation (and also why Remus had disappeared in the middle of the night), and Janus supported it. Made sense, since he was almost as impulsive as Remus. Plus, he was going back to school in a couple days, so it didn’t make much of a difference. That said, they still didn’t have a time limit. Their friends were just starting second semester, meaning they could schedule themselves to arrive in California for summer break, or they could spend longer on the road. But schedules are for chumps. 

As they rolled out of the quaint neighborhood Virgil had grown up in, Remus reached down and took his hand again. “Say goodbye to white picket fences.” And god, the joyful expression on Virgil’s face was enough to make him melt.

By the time they hit the freeway, they were both nearly shaking with anticipation. Virgil stuck his hands out the sunroof, the wind whipping through his hair, and let out a whoop that was almost contagious. This was the start of something amazing, they both felt it. 

Cali, here we come.

[mothsandbutterflies13]

Part Two of The Book vs the TV series

Part II of my rant

If you haven’t read Part I, you should really read that first.

Ok, so on to that love triangle. Technically, it’s a rectangle, but Sang Chen was never really in the running, so I don’t count him. Anyways, Su Fu likes Ran Yan because they’re very similar (they both lost their mothers at young ages and their families aren’t the best at being families) but Su Fu is an assassin so that job and way of life isn’t at all safe and Ran Yan didn’t have any guarantee of safety with him. With Xiao Song, though, Ran Yan feels safe and she’s able to use her forensic skills without prejudice. The TV series kind of gets into this, but Ran Yan is stuck on Su Fu longer than necessary. And, for whatever lame reason, after Xiao Song and Ran Yan find the all-powerful bead, she just... she makes a deal with the head of the GODDAMN HEAD OF THE SUI CONSPIRATORS TO SAVE SU FU’S SORRY ASS! Like, I’m sorry, are you TRYING to get your husband, you, and his entire family killed?! All for a lame-ass assassin who you haven’t known for, like, a year?!

In the book, the love triangle is kind of... not really a love triangle? Like, the guys had a something of a competition going on for a while, but it was apparent from almost the beginning that Su Fu and Sang Chen were going to lose to Xiao Song. In the end, Su Fu still likes Ran Yan but it’s not like love, more like he thinks of Ran Yan as a sort of companion in loneliness. Sang Chen still holds an unrequited love for Ran Yan but he... never really acts upon it after Ran Yan makes it clear she loves Xiao Song.

I won’t get into the terrible ending, because the audiobook hasn’t finished updating and I haven’t read the book. All I can say is Ran Yan’s IQ somehow drops to zero and she does a series of stupid mistakes (not including that damn deal she made with the head of the Sui conspirators) and there’s almost bound to be a bunch of stupid situations created to drag out the ending. Oh, and Ran Shilang DIES!! Like, WTF??!!

Ok, on to the characterizations. First up, of course, is Ran Yan. Like the book, the TV series version of her is intelligent and skilled at autopsies. However, unlike the book, in the series, Ran Yan really grew up in the Tang Dynasty. Which makes a lot of her behavior and what she does... confusing, to say the least. For example, to solve her first case, she disguises herself as one of the prostitutes sent to entertain a local wealthy businessman who’s actually a drug lord controlling the local opium trade. NO MATTER HOW DESTITUTE YOU ARE, THIS IS NOT HOW YOU SOLVE A CASE!!! Later on - I can’t remember the exact context but I do know it was because Ran Yan was feeling jealous over Xiao Song - she started acting super rude to her waiter and making all sorts of stupid demands, just severely downgrading her noblewoman’s status. She was only able to marry Xiao Song because it was a major plot point. Oh, and because Xiao Song loved her and he really wanted her to be his wife so his parents and grandmother couldn’t say no. It was not through her own merit or even based on any of her other qualities (which I don’t remember much other than being smart, stubborn, skilled in forensic examinations, and slightly obsessed with money). That’s super lazy writing.

Xiao Song. I don’t have a lot to pick with him. He could be a little less tsundere-like in the TV series, but his actor looks so much like Jackson Yee that I’ll let it slide. I think the biggest insult to his character, though, is how his family got downgraded from a family who once had their own KINGDOM to a bunch of Sui loyalists. Dude, that’s such an insult! What did the Xiao Clan of Lanling ever do to you?!

Ran Shilang, otherwise known as Ran Yunsheng. Like, oh my God. He was my favorite character just by virtue of being the only person in Ran Yan’s family who liked her and was nice to her. (And the screenwriters totally took this character and sacrificed him to the trash bin.) In the book, he’s not the second-in-command of some secret Sui loyalist conspiracy. He really is Ran Yan’s cousin who’s soooo nice to her. He buys her all this really nice jewelry and clothing and takes her out to have fun and even takes her to Chang’an so she won’t have to deal with her stupid father. Like, I’m so jealous of Ran Yan. I want a male cousin who’s that nice to me! 

Su Fu. There isn’t a lot to talk about him. He’s an assassin who was born the son of a concubine to a semi-powerful family. He has some pretty mad medicinal skills. In the book, though, he isn’t the assassin of that secret group. Instead, he’s the assassin of Li Ke, one of the princes fighting for the throne. About halfway through, though, he switches allegiances to one of the other princes (I think it was Li Tai, but I’m not sure). The fucking TV series castrated him, though. Like, after Ran Yan finds out he’s been lying to her, she leaves him at the mercy of the head of the conspirators. (That’s another part I didn’t get. How was he lying to you? You knew he was a killer and he was using your skills to determine where his mom’s corpse is. Like, whaaaa?) And he doesn’t even fight back, he just lays there and takes it! Another point is he’s more fixated on Ran Yan than in the book. By the time Ran Yan gets to the capital in the book, he’s already happy for her that she’s found a man to be happy with (shout out to my man, Xiao Song!) but also sad that she couldn’t be happy with him. In the TV series, though, it’s obvious the guy’s still hung up on her! WTF?! Whatever, book!SuFu was cooler.

Sang Chen. They really didn’t change much about him. He’s still the same scared rabbit like in the book, but the book makes it a point to also emphasize he’s really smart. Like, Einstein-level IQ. 

Anyways, that’s really it for my rant. I have other nitpicky problems with the TV adaptation. Like how they slashed the character list from the original 40-50 people (at least) to the measly nine people. Counting extras, that cast list couldn’t have been more than 50 people. Or how they spent so much time on the actors that the sets look rather pitiful (I’m looking at you, Suzhou). Or how they added in scenes and twisted others, just so they could hit major plot points from the book (Xiao Song and Ran Yan’s wedding, Ran Meiyu’s death, Xiao Song’s grandmother visiting Chang ‘An, etc.). 

Bye!

[clarabosswald]

i binged all of she ra s5 last night spoilers ahead

low points:

the animation. i’ve always had a bit of an issue with the animation in this show... in terms of design, it’s gorgeous. in terms of flow... i often find it lacking. stocky movements, or lip sync that’s off - those are pretty common. and i mean, i get it, they’ve had to get new episodes out in almost no time and i admire the team for creating the product they did at the end. but i really wish they were given more time to polish and refine it. 

the writing, i mean it’s a kids’ show obviously, but when they’ve got pretty much two modes - beautifully nuanced and emotional writing and then... painfully childish writing, then the childish writing REALLY stands out and it’s a bit embarrassing sometimes (micah and frosta’s little arc, for instance). but i get that too. people who’re good with drama very often can’t get comedy quite right. (and comedians are often really good at drama. it’s an odd thing)

the character arcs were done VERY well with the short time given for them to evolve, but i still do wish they were spread over 2 seasons instead of one. especially catra - seeing her change was super satisfying, but toxic life-long habits are SUPER hard to get rid of. and while they did show her struggle with it, i still really wish it was given the time to develop in a more natural way. still, with the time they had, i do think they showed a satisfactory amount of hardship before catra settled as a good guy.

this season was an absolute celebration of lgbt+ ships and identities and at the end i was really disappointed they didn’t make entrapta canonically aspec. it’s very reminiscent of peridot in su..............left JUST ambiguous enough so fans can keep on putting the characters in romantic/sexual ships. and it’s incredibly frustrating to see us getting SO close to actual canon rep for aspec people and then......not hitting the point. when will aspec representation seem important enough for creators to give it to us apsecs?

speaking of entrapta, her early season arc of her difficulties in interpersonal relationships made her......just a bit too unlikable. or rather.....they let it go a bit too far before letting entrapta show how much she DOES care for her friends? it might honestly be realistic, i know, i do, but realistic writing isn’t always the right choice when trying to present a character like this in a positive light, especially in a kids’ show. i’m just glad they only stuck with it for one episode.

i know it’s super silly but............the team’s spacesuits having holes in them for iconic look’s sake, and adora and entrapta’s hair sticking out................ my dudes that’s not how space works. it’s just a quirky thing but seeing how much emphasis was given on the dangers of space. just. yeah i’m a bit nitpicky

the music in the show is good but also.... kind of overused? that might also be a time constraint thing, though - they might have not had the time to write some new pieces. but it was slightly distracting when the emotional high points all used the same emotional track.

high points:

prime ABSOLUTELY felt like a big threat and i LOVED it. he seemed to be a few steps forward up until the end. this show always was REALLY good with its villains and i really admire that, it’s not a common thing in children’s media. speaking of villains, shadow weaver’s arc too was very satisfactory - her internal struggle between her massive thirst for power and her love of magic as a natural phenomenon and wishing to see it free. and chipped!spinnerella was chilling! chipped!scorpia was genuinely scary! chipped!micah was BATSHIT TERRIFYING! just, really good villain writing all around and i LOVE that shit.

speaking of prime’s chips - the mind control threat was REALLY well done, absolutely not too obvious, absolutely not too easy to win over with “the power of friendship and love”, REALLY fucking chilling and terrifying at points. i really loved how the trauma it left on catra was NOT downplayed, how often you could see her hand reaching the back of her neck when the chips were discussed. that was brilliant.

hordak and wrong!hordak were great. i kinda feared wrong!hordak was gonna turn out to be embarrassing but they kinda managed to tread the thin line there and success at making him really funny most times. hordak struggle with his memories was very good, and by GOD was i fucking grateful they didn’t make his fanship with entrapta canon with all the shipping fest that this season was.

catra with short hair was too fucking much for my poor heart and i WILL FIGHT with adora over her hair length preferences.

she ra’s new design was FIRE and it’s absolutely my favorite one. 

i know melog was kinda giving the team easy instances of deux-ex-machina with his invisibility gift but i love an adorable big alien panther thingy. plus, he really did come across as a powerful and threatening being in his debut episode.

the characters, backgrounds, general worldbuilding designs in this show continued to be utterly beautiful. really appreciate that. the mix between fantasy and sci-fi was SO good.

i really liked how bow, the heart of the best friends squad, was the one who struggled the most with glimmer’s return and with forgiving her. it added plenty of really good depth to his character. 

adora’s struggle with her identity and destiny was an ongoing theme but still, a+ on the execution, especially coming off last season’s closing cliffhanger.

god it’s already becomes so ingrained and obvious in my mind but obviously it needs to be discussed - CATRADORA CANON. like, BEAUTIFULLY canon. i started off the season with “are they gonna do it?” and pretty early on (like, when catra and glimmer were still prisoners kind of early) i became convinced like “they’re ABSOLUTELY heading towards it or the fandom is gonna burn this show” and then it was becoming SUPER obvious and i was like “okay are they gonna finally kiss now? finally kiss NOW? finally kiss now?” but obviously they had to save the big kiss to the climax and i was very okay with that because at that point their romantic love for each other was SO obvious. and just....... wow kudos to the show for going the length and making this ship canon, it was so SO so so so so satisfying and refreshing to see and i love love love loved it. because it really WASN’T done in an obvious way? they couldn’t really allow each other to openly love each other until catra started to REALLY heal and give up her old ways? and THAT was the ONLY well written and natural way for their ship to finally happen because adora is TOO heroic and lawful good-aligned to let herself openly love catra while catra was still in the dark side. so catra didn’t get it easy and had to go the way and change for adora and it WASN’T badly written because catra’s struggle with her love for adora and her hardships while being on the dark side and with her huge ass pride and will to do the easy thing over the right thing vs. her struggle with wish for meaningful relationships and being drawn to good-aligned characters and with having adora in her life again - all of those were SERIES-LONG issues that were explored with catra and while, as a i said, i wish we could’ve seen catra struggle with her lifelong habits a bit longer once she made the choice to join the rebellion, it STILL was made SO WELL with the time they were given and wow, GOOD SHIT. so joined appreciation BOTH for catra’s writing AND for how catradora grew to become canon this season.

bow/glimmer becoming canon was short and sweet and i was satisfied with that.

REALLY happy double trouble made a return. i still kinda wish they were given a BIT more to do, but they’re still probably the best written shapeshifter character i’ve encountered so far.

okay that’s all i can think of off the top of my head so far

overall: 4/5 the show’s like.........a REALLY good fish dish that unfortunately still has got a few bones in it that kinda stick in your mouth when you eat it. but it’s still so good overall that you can’t help but adore it. still wish the season, this show could spend more time in the oven. more work on the animation, more work on the comedic writing, more work for... general tweaks here and there. more TIME, another season, would’ve been brilliant, but sometimes it’s just not part of the plan or the upper ups (netflix/dreamworks in this case i presume) are just assholes and refuse to give the show the episode count it deserves. but still happy and glad for what it was. kudos to the dramatic writing, kudos to the character development, kudos to the designs and color and background work, kudos to the lgbt+ rep. 

[caps-clever-girl]

thoughts on endgame.

fair warning, i am not going to be kind. i enjoyed watching this movie, for the most part. it was funny; it had many good jokes and good, pure and well done interactions between multiple characters. but i didnt like it, and here are the reasons why.

unfortunately, this isnt a ‘nitpicky’ post. my main problems are with a lot of the bigger points points of the film, and had quite a few. this is a LONG post.

• “marvels first gay character!!!!!!!!!!!!” shut up. you joined the ‘fad’ late for brownie points and it was a cameo character who got about 3 lines. there are plenty of canon queer and gay characters who could have been introduced, either as cameos or in earlier films. dont even get me started on the fact that tony has more canon bi material than most others and marvel could have taken the time or even the slightest bit of effort to make this. while i enjoyed the jokes about steve being Incredibly Hot and his ass being Gods Gift To America (which honestly??? correct!) that could have been expanded on. several characters made comments about how nice steve’s ass is, and could have been used as actual material for a queer character, instead of sticking a random chharacter in there. i get the whole ‘gay people could be anyone! its normal!’ thing by giving the ‘role’ to a regular person, but you would also prove that by making any one of your 30+ main cast actually queer instead of making gay jokes and hints that could be retconned and explained away by humour.

• slapping someone out of a panic attack, and treating the panic attack like a joke. yeah, i get it, they didnt have a lot of time. still, come on. did iron man 3 teach you nothing? apparently not since tonys ptsd was pretty much never brought up again.

• speaking of thor. now, i am not an expert, but when a person gains weight, they do not keep their abs. certainly not after five entire years - not even asgardians. i also found it odd that thor became the way he did. i understand gaining weight and comfort eating after all the trauma thor went through losing his home and brother and people, i really do, but 1.) do it properly, at least, and 2.) thor is the leader of his people. does he want the task? not particularly. he hasnt wanted to be king since the first thor movie, but hes been forced into the role. even depressed i dont think thor would shy away from it, not completely. hes always wanted to do right by his people and i think that hed stuck to it, especially after The Snap backing him into a corner, if that makes sense. to clarify, i dont have a problem with chubby/fat thor. (IF done right instead of with weird, shitty cgi, that is.) i have a problem with the fact that thor, even though he doesnt want to be king, would abandon the last remanents displaced people to build a new home all on their own and become a hermit gamer boy. ESPECIALLY with valkyrie around. she’s been through a derpressive, alcohol fuelled time in her life and thor pulled her out of it. (mostly anyway, asgardians are party animals and im p sure she still gets trolleyed on the reg) i have bo doubt that after years of wallowing she would do her damned best to try and kick his ass out of it, even if it were just because his people need a leader, instead of letting him drop everything on her and just let him stew while new asgard gets on with it. i also didnt like the fact that all of thors emotional moments were treated as jokes and made to be funny when hes genuinely Fucked Up about eveything thats happening and made his image into a whiny crybaby.

• professor hulk. more of a personal one, this, simply because i just didnt like it. fair enough if y’all disagree on this one, im not going to fight it. i just never saw him wanting to combine himself with the hulk. ever. when he apleared on the screen i was completely blindsided, and his explanation, and the way he interacted with the kids????? i just want to know where all of this confidence suddenly came from. i use the term ‘suddenly’ loosely, since its been five years, but bruce has never been the guy to care about strength or looks or fame. hes always been shy and nerdy. not afraid to stand his ground or make his opinion known. hes bot a catchphrase, posing and flexing ‘hell yeah lets take a selfie’ guy. i get that thats maybe the result of the hulk and bruces combined personality but it just felt WEIRD to me, like, there wasnt a time in the film where i felt comfortable with the character. this was the final avengers film, with all of the original six avengers in it. but it didnt feel like that, it didnt feel like bruce or the hulk was in the film, even though there was a lot of funny and good moments with orofessor hulk, it felt like a stranger with some familiar characteristics. it ruined any feelings of nostalgia for me. i like bruce, and i like the hulk. i like the way their differences add to the story and the way they interact with eachother, and the slow change in their relationship. sorry if its petty but i prefer them seperate, theres just so much more to them for me.

• clint and natasha’s journey for the soul stone. both times, in infinity war and endgame, a male character and a female character went to get the soul stone. both times the male came back and the female died, and we lost possibly two most developed and main-line female characters in the entire mcu. now i understand the reasoning for both, and out of the characters that went there, i agree with the choice. thanos and gamora; it was thanos who was aware of the sacrifice and who chose to make it. gamora didnt get a choice and was unaware until it was too late. thanos was never going to die there. he knew there would be a sacrifice and chose to take gamora, because she would be the most likely sacrifice to actualky sucsesfully yield the soul stone because she was the most loved by him. i get it, but we lost gamora and i dont like it. clint and natasha; looking at it completely objectively, clint has a family, a wife and three children, that he wants to get back. natasha does not have any children, nor any (blood) family. if i had to choose, based on facts like that, id choose her too. but i still hate it, because there goes the only female member of the avengers. also, nebula (and i think maybe rocket?) KNEW that a sacrifice would be made and either accidentaly or deliverately left out the terms of aquiring the soul stone. it would have been easy to tell, if not easy to solve. but nothinb was said, and two best friends had to make a fucking awful and horrible choice when they might not have had to.

• on the ‘feminism’ tangent; the random congragation of women in the end scene??????? i dont????? okay so i am marking myself as a hypocrite here because i did love this scene!!! it made my lil gay heart go boom to see so many good and strong women all in one place - ESPECIALLY rescue - and it also made me realise how many women there actually are across the mcu??? which was really nice?? but it just felt... so forced? the way they ALL suddenly apleared and stood together even though they were all mixed in around the battlefield. it was a wonderful thought and i did enjoy it, but it seemed too Off and Odd to seem as much more than a bid for Feminism Brownie Points.

• captain marvel. i dont know about you, but i was actually looking forward to her being in the film. for a character so hyped to be the saviour of the avengers and the end of thanos, she was barely in the film. ‘i have other planets to save, the earth isnt the only one affected by thanos’ yeah but earth is the only plannet actively attacked by him. its where the people who are rallying to fight him and reverse what he did are. dont you want to stick around and help them? surely it would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, and faster too. yes, she blasted theough the ship at the end, but she did fuck all to help defeat thanos himself, and the help she did give with the ship came at the end. i genuinely think they kept her out of the movie because she was too powerful, and would have made fighting thanos etc too easy to get all the suffering and noble sacrifices in. if she had been a side character i dont think id be as mad, but she got a whole MOVIE in which she is clearly the start of the entire avengers initiative; she is their HISTORY!!!! she is so powerful!!!! and yet she has 5 mins of screen time!! it pisses me off that she was So Strongly implied to be the character the avengers NEEDED, the one that without whom it would be IMPOSSIBLE to defeat thanos; the woman that really tipped the scales in there favour, and yet she did fuck all. (and lets not even get started on the carol/rhodey and carol+tony bromance we COMPLETELY missed out on.)

• (speaking of bonding what the fuck happened to tony and nebula????? after they were rescued it was like they never met)

• the whole entire concept of time what the fuck!!! ‘dont change anything’ okay well for the most part you did okay, and the PLAN and CONCEPT was actually really easy to grasp, at least to me, which is hard when working with paradoxes and wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff. but that went out the water when past!thanos and his army were brought into the future and disintergrated. does this mean they’re dead in the past - since they would have just. Left and not come back and therefore ceased to exist from that point???? or did tonys Snap simply send them back to their point in time, with no memory of what had occured? idk because it aint explained.

• speaking of; loki. again - his past changed; he managed to escape, with the tessarect. this is not explained nor expanded upon. assuming the events of thor 2 came about - which were impossible if he escaped - then his timeline would carry on as normal, and would PERHAPS explain the tessarects wacky timeline. (i dont know for certain, because i cant work it out anyway). but loki disspearing means he wouldnt have gone to trial on asgard, nor would he wouldnt have been in thor 2 - also by extention meaning that frigga is still alive. technically if he went back to get odin off the throne anyway, everything else after thor 2 involving loki/asgard would still come to pass. either way, we dont know. it was a nice way for endgame to give fans what we wanted; the posibility of loki coming back. but it doesnt make a lick of sense, and we have no idea if hes still alive/escaped or not, and why. personally i have no fucking idea and im pretty sure it was a cop out so they could give us what we wanted. which brings to my other point:

• giving the audience what we wanted. we got loki interaction. we got loki ‘escaping’ and ‘surviving’ (????) we FINALLY got rescue, who many fans have been asking for since i think iron man 2, and even more so since The Badass That Was Pepper Potts in im3. we got morgan stark and tony and pepper married, we got jokes about steves ass, and more jokes about male characters admiring how hot other male characters are. and, most importantly, we got tony having the nice relaxing life he wanted out in his cabin in the woods with his wife and kids (even if it was a horrific way of getting there). i dont quite know how to explain it, but to me it seemed like they were shoving as many ‘fan-requests’ into the film as possible - so that when they killed off 2 of the original 6, and removed another by ageing him out of use, they could lessen the backlash and justify the changes by going ‘but you got so mych that you wanted beforehand!!’. a tactic they drenhed us with because one of those 2 was a fan favourite that people were BEGGING not to be killed off because they felt that he hadnt recieved anywhere near the peace or happiness he deserved so far - and now never will. which brings me to:

• tony’s death.

there are two parts to this.

one, i was incredibly pissed off because strange’s Big Plan, the ONLY reason he saved tony in infinity war, was so tony could use the gauntlet and kill himself anyway later. anyone in that film could have used that gauntlet - and many wouldnt have suffered fatal injuries; captain marvel, steve, t’challa, peter quill to name a few possibilities - basically, anyone who is in anyway enhanced would have had a better chance of surviving and would have therefore been the better choice; aka, half the mcu. i think it was a proximity thing; tony was closest. he had the oppertunity and the others didnt. but tony didnt know about the option of using it until strange looked at him and gave him ‘the signal.’ the signal to sacrifice himself. and of course, this is tony stark. when is he ever going to refuse that.

but reason two, and this is the one that stings the most; tony started the mcu.

in my opinion, he is the character who has put the most in during the whole ten years. he, of ALL the characters, deserves his happy ending of marrying the love of his life and having a kid, without constantly fearing that hes foing to have them ripped away from him, that hes going to have to fight to the death to keep them safe.

one of my friends, when i complained about tony dying, said; “it was his time. plus, he had a legacy! with pepper and morgan, and the iron man name. how can you be upset?”

i can be upset because tony got the happiness he wanted after losing exactly 50% of what he held dearest. i can be upset because hawkeye got his family back, but tony only got five years with his wife and less with his kid, instead of getting the oppertunity to grow old with his wife and watch his kid go to collage like clint will. i can be upset because the character that has gone through the most trauma, both physically and mentally, who spent the last ten years trying to better the world and everything in it and protect it, who got the most shit for every decision he made and who ended EVERY SINGLE FILM with a broken limb or his face littered with bruises and cuts while every other film centric character ended the film usually scrape free, didnt get his happy fucking ending. sure, he has a legacy. but i dont give a shit, because that legacy - of iron man, of morgan and pepper and stark industries - would have been there whether tony was alive to see it flourish or not. but he wont be.

this goes beyond being a ‘tony stan’ or tony being my favourite character. out of every single character, from start to finish, anthony edward stark fucking deserved a happy ending and by god he deserved it the most. i will argue that until my end of days.

i watched tony stark on screen for ten years, and i watched him get progressively more scarred and fucked up. his parents. the ten rings. losing yinsen. obie. vanko and hammer. the palladium poisoning. new york; the nuke and the wormhole. the ptsd, the panic attacks. the iron legion and retirement attempt. killian and extremis and the end of that returement attempt. wanda’s vision. jarvis being destroyed. the accords and subsequent civil war. finding out about the winter soldier and his hand in his parents death. finding out that steve knew. siberia. struggling to balence iron man and the accords. losing peter. being stranded on titan, in space for weeks.

tony in that wheelchair, shaking and rail thin and unable to stand for more than a few moments will haunt me forever.

i watched him suffer for ten years - longer, even, in-universe - clawing for his quiet, happy ending while fighting for the happy ending he thought the rest of the world deserved, and instead of getting rewarded he just got beaten down and beaten down. after ten fucking hears of watching the backbone of the entire franchise get nothing but shit piled on him until he struggled to breathe for it, excuse me for thinking he woukd finally get the chance to crawl out from under it and be happy. no strungs attatched, no awful, sacrificial price to be payed, just for a man who had given so. fucking. much. to finally get something for once, and be allowed to keep it.

well i was wrong. and i feel so incredibly fucking stupid for even hoping otherwise.

and thats what i didnt like about avengers endgame.

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 18-19

Chapter 18

We’re in Nor’s POV again, so prepare for edge. Though that can be said about literally every chapter in this book.

Nor is having a dream about how she’s being crushed by a small rock that feels like a bunch of very big rocks. And then she falls into an abyss (relatable), and into a big ol’ fire.

It’s very dramatic, and also? Symbolism.

Extremely symbolism. 

She wakes up.

She was so cold. Her body, coated in sweat, was attracting the frigid recycled air that clung to her like a second skin.

How does one “attract” air? I know what they’re trying to say but like, at some point you just gotta stop trying to twist more meaning and drama out of every meaningless detail. 

People say show don’t tell, but here, Shinsay follows up their telling with really dubious showing. Why do you do this? Just to pad the word count? More words doesn’t make you a better writer.

We’re introduced to Zahn, who is Nor’s bodyguard and also lover. They cuddle for a bit and Nor thinks about how nobody but Zahn is allowed to see her this vulnerable. 

“I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think, Zahn.” She lifted her prosthetic hand to her face to wipe away the tears, then dropped it, disgusted by the sight of the gold metal, of the scars marring her upper wrist. Disgusted with herself for feeling so weak.

Ah. We’re doing this now, are we?

It’s okay though, because Zahn takes her fake, disgusting hand and kisses her tears away! 

How sweet.

“You’re safe,” he said with a sigh. “I will always protect you, Nor.”

“I don’t need protecting,” she whispered.

I know this is supposed to be deep and not true, but she’s basically telling him, her bodyguard, that she only pays him to sleep with her. 

To many people, Nor was the stone-cold ruler who haunted the nightmares of her foes. But to Zahn, she was just Nor. The love of his life, as he was hers.

Cool cool. The narrative then continues to talk about how they were there for each other when the war took their families and how he’s the only one who’s seen her at her weakest and bla bla bla.

This chapter is literally just a massive infodump about this new rando. You couldn’t have woven his existence into the narrative in a more elegant way, Shinsay?

“Don’t leave me,” Nor said, looking up into his eyes. Seeing the passion mirrored there.

“I would never dream of it,” he said.

Their lips touched, and his hands slid down her bare back, gentle at first. Then hungry for more as she let him lay her back down.

“I love you,” Zahn said. “My Nhatyla.”

The lingering fear from her nightmare trickled away as a very different sort of feeling took its place.

“A very different sort of feeling,” Shinsay?

Are you two grown women or twelve actual years old, combined? Why is this so coy? You can’t have both all these MATURE and EDGY characters who are all about TEH SECKS and VIOLENS while basically giggling like tweens whenever you make a reference to fucking. 

If you don’t want to deal with the subject, why include it at all? This is YA, isn’t it? Teens can handle discussions and references to sex. You could probably even get away with sex scenes if you write them carefully and don’t make them too explicit.

If you wanted to be completely PG, why is everyone always making grody sex jokes? If you wanted them all to have amazing sex lives, why don’t you have them (and the narration) speak maturely and openly about the subject?

I do not understand the reasoning behind any of this.

Chapter 19

We’re back with Dex, who, if you recall, kissed Andi without her consent in chapter 17.

DEX HAD FORGOTTEN how fast Andi’s reflexes could be when she was mad.

Furious, actually, he thought, as he watched the shock on her face melt into a mask of pure, boiling rage.

The sentence above, my friends, is a perfect illustration of why I have such problems with purple prose and using a bunch of “pretty descriptions” that don’t mean jack shit just to show off how deep your writing is.

Allow me to be extremely nitpicky and go off on a tangent while I analyze this ... word vomit.

Melting happens when something gets warm enough to change state from solid to liquid, but without necessarily boiling. In writing, the word usually has positive connotations. ”Molten” metals are often used as eye colors for love interests, people “melt” when another person does something sweet or romantic for them, et cetera. 

It makes people think of warmth, softness, pliability. 

When Andi’s shock melts into “a mask of rage,” it implies that the rage is solidified, but also that it’s fake, because it’s only a mask. Then we’re told that it’s actually boiling still. The fact that her shock is “on” her face doesn’t help.

Now, I know what you’ll say: Eff, this isn’t literal! It’s all just a metaphor!

But metaphors have to make sense, and conflicting, confusing visuals and concepts do nothing but shine a spotlight on the author’s carelessness. They’ve picked these words because they have inherent meaning and they sound good and intense, but without understanding how to use that meaning to their advantage.

If Shinsay wanted to keep the “hot rage” angle, I’d suggest something like this:

Dex watched as the shock on Andi’s face boiled over into white-hot rage.

Jesus Christ, I’m only two sentences in.

Anywhoo, Andi beats Dex with a chair. I would’ve killed him on the spot but I’ll take what I can get.

Andi spat on the ground, then rubbed her lips with the back of her sleeve. For one moment, she looked purely Andi, angry as a wet feline and terrifyingly beautiful.

...

So uh. For future reference: Comparing to your badass, ruthles space pirate to a wet cat 

is probably the dumbest fucking thing you can do.

I guess Dex is also impressed that Andi looks like Andi. 

And here I thought standards couldn’t go any lower.

Maybe there’s a message of positivity in there? Dex loves you if you look like you, girls! Just be yourself, and also angry as a wet cat.

Then he saw the moment when Andi’s face changed. She transformed into someone else entirely; an actress playing the perfect part.

So you’re gonna describe to me how her shock melts into a mask of rage and how she looks angry like a wet cat, but you won’t tell me how Dex sees her slip into the role of an actress playing the perfect part? Something that would actually be quite interesting to witness?

Figures.

Andi starts acting like Dex cheated on her and Lira and Breck join in as the other women, which for some reason confuses Dex, the ultimate mastermind that he is. He catches on eventually as the other patrons start surrounding them in the hopes of a juicy fight.

Breck kicks him and he flies across the room, which is absolutely delightful and I love it. She kicked him into the table of the Lunamere guards (finally someone does something smart) and a fight with them breaks out. 

Dex wasn’t the tallest man by Mirabel standards, but what he lacked in height, he made up in speed and agility—and above all, the desire to win.

And as we all know, people who lose always actually want to lose, and the guards he’s fighting against just don’t want to win enough!

Makes perfect sense.

He was all grace and glory as he spun and whirled, taking out Lunamere guards as they rushed forward in hopes of sinking their knives into his gut.

Don’t make me do a GLORY count. Blease.

We switch POV to Andi. This entire chapter/fight scene is for some reason broken up into chunks, even though it’s all the same one scene and at one point we don’t even switch POVs, but the scene break is still there?

Who edited this?

[The Lunamere guard] howled and dropped, and then she was off again, leaping over his fallen form, her hands itching to raise hell, draw blood and spread the glory of her name.

The Bloody Baroness was here.

She’d make sure every single one of them knew it.

THE GLORY OF HER NAME

Note how Andi seems to just love this. I guess when the narrative needs her to be ruthless and badass, she’s all about being the Bloody Baroness and loves to SPREAD HER GLORY, but when she’s angsting, it’s all about how much she hates murder and remembers every single person she’s killed.

Cheap, Shinsay. You’re cheap and so is your book.

Another POV skip. We’re back with Dex. It’s still the same scene, same fight.

The plan was in place. Everything was glorious, beautiful, blessed disarray.

GLORIOUS

Another scene break. We’re back with Andi. Holy shit, this is such a terrible, disconnected, patchy mess. 

Dex was cornered with his back against the bar, fresh green blood oozing from a cut on his brow.

Proof that his blood is actually green, in case y’all didn’t believe me. 

Idk what this means or if it will ever be explained, but whatever.

Every part of Andi’s soul told her to get the hell out of there before the Sparks went off. She could abandon the mission. Leave Valen Cortas in prison, with Dex beside him once the warden of Lunamere caught wind of this.

But as she stood back and watched the clock tick down, some tiny part of herself, some animal thing deep down, began to claw its way back up and out into the smoky pub light.

The Bloody Baroness never turned away from a fight.

See? Andi enjoys this, and willingly chooses it when she can do otherwise. So then why does Shinsay insist on making her all angsty and sad about the people she murders?

YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND FUCK IT TOO, SHINSAY.

With a sigh, she pushed herself forward, swinging her borrowed knives as if they were extensions of her body. Little pieces of heaven clutched in her hellraising fists.

With a sigh? Why is she acting like she doesn’t have a choice and this is a chore, like her mom told her to clean her room? Oh my god.

And yeah, I had to look at “little pieces of heaven clutched in her hellraising fists,” and now so do you.

Anyway, the “Sparks” (if they were explained, I didn’t pay attention) that Andi’s team set up around the bar go off and:

Then the whole world exploded around [Andi and Dex].

God, I wish they could die in the explosion.

[tillyblogs]

RTTE DRUNKEN REVIEW! SEASON 5 EPISODE 10 - ASTRID CRIES?! THEY ALMOST HAD ME FOOLED...I MEAN... NO BAD WRITING (DRAGON) LEFT BEHIND... I’M BACK!

OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT: GARFFLY IS THE ULTIMATE DRAGON SHIP! FIGHT ME!THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG AND I’M SORRY?! PLEASE DON?T FORGET ME LOL

DRUNKEN REVIEW MASTERPOST!

WELCOME MY FRIENDS TO ANOTHER OF MY DRUNKEN REVIEWS!

-The Twins speaking spanish is my aesthetic….

-Garffly making more sense than Toothfly…… And Garffstrid being ultimate bros!!!!…… wait….. Is this an ASTRID EPISODE?! IS THIS REAL?!?!

-JESUS CHRIST HICCUP!  PLEASE KILL YOURSELF….

*ME RIGHT NOW*

-I’ve always loved Garff…

-OMFG I just remembered I STILL haven’t heard Hiccup’s singing in that musical episode!!! I refused to listen and skipped it!……………………………………………………..I still refuse to listen to it…..

-Astrid please… PLEASE! I BEG YOU!! STAY ON THAT ISLAND WITH GARFF AND STORMFLY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Forget Everything and everyone and STAY THERE! You don’t need this shit! Believe me dear… you don’t….

@despiteherself Garffly owns my heart! *UGLY SOBBING*

-Anyways….

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HOLY SHIT I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT THING IN MY LIFE! I’M SURE THE RIDERS ALSO HAVEN-

-OMFG BUT OF COURSE THEY DO…..

-RTTE ignoring its OWN canon…. didn’t they like…. NOT KNOW any more dragon species in the beginning of the show????? YOU KNOW… THAT’S WHY THEY WENT OUT EXPLORING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!

Remember when there were no more dragons to find and because they already explored them all??? and then every time a new dragon appears they already know the exact species, strenghts and weaknesses???????? Suddenly they know everything there is to know about new dragons they’re never seen before because…. PLOT?!?!?!? I mean I try not to be nitpicky but….

FUCK.

OH MY GOD

-Antidote…. Because of course there is…. And of course they *snorts* KNOW how to make it….

- SNOTLOUT <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

Where was I??? oh right! This is where I left off last time…..

-BE CARE-!  

OH MY GOD

GUYS! GUYS THIS IS THE MOMENT! THIS IS THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL  BEEN WAITING FOR! oh wait…

-Why is everyone so shocked… WHY do they have to make this moment as if it was imposible?? Is… is she not a human???

OH WAIT…………………

*me af right now….*   ^^^^

-OK BUT YOUR OTP WOULD NEVER! #garfflyforever

-Also… Astrid got poisoned for nothing??? meh at least she got herself cured in an instant soo nothing is really at stake here sooo…. I wasn’t worried in the first place….

-Let’s get back to Hiccup and Snotlout… wait no. Just Snotlout.

- MY COLD HEART IS MELTING! Also… the gang trying to make this otp a brotp… yeah no…. lol

*Saves wine for Episode 11*

*Me right now*

STAY TUNED GUYS! SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE! I’VE BEEN SOOO  BUSY!

Don’t forget about me lol

[puttingfingerstokeys]

Imperipath

Nanowrimo day 19 Featuring my April Fool’s OC Stiles Kavinsky and a rando Modern dystopian superheroes-gone-wrong thingy? Original world Finished and unedited

“Jesus effing Christ, Mary, you can’t just do that!” The voice was cracked, exhausted, and stressed beyond all measure. The woman to whom it belonged could not have been older than twenty five, perhaps thirty, at the most. She adjusted the beanie which sat comfortably on the back of her head and brushed herself off. Her companion, a stunning aphrodite of a woman, landed gracefully on the ground, the blue glow around her subsiding presently. She turned her gaze upon the first woman, her eyes returning to their normal hue of electric blue. 

“Sorry, Stiles,” she apologized, lifting one hand, a joyous smile upon her beautiful, full-lipped face. She was gorgeous, the most beautiful woman who had likely ever walked the face of the earth, or at least, she certainly was next to the gremlin called Stiles. Mary shook out her long, bouncy, red mane and laughed aloud. “I just keep discovering new powers… it’s amazing! I don’t know where they’re coming from, but I feel…”

“Burdened with a glorious purpose?” Stiles didn’t seem terribly amused, pulling her large, red-rimmed glasses off and wiping them furiously between her index finger and thumb which were both couched within the fabric of a dingy, hooded sweatshirt. She was nothing to look at. She might have been pretty once, or maybe she was one of those women who “cleaned up good”, but no effort had been put forth to do any of that today. Looking at her, one got the sense that she prided herself on how little effort she expended. She was clean and did not stink and that seemed like the extent of her primping. 

“It’s just,” Mary said, hesitating and looking down at her hands. “I have all these powers now… I have to help people with them!”

“Says who, exactly?”

Mary looked thoughtful, chewing her full lower lip. Even her thinking face was beautiful, picturesque. Someone should have been there to paint her portrait, to immortalize her pensive beauty. Alas, it was just the two of them in a field somewhere in the Midwestern United States. Wheat brushed at their thighs and the early afternoon sun rose into a perfect blue sky. Stiles tilted her gaze upward, shielding them from the brightness, squinting at a flock of geese flying over and honking madly.

“This isn’t like, Spider-man or some shit,” Stiles offered, returning her attention to Mary. “You don’t have to become some kind of savior. Actually, you should probably get a job, first.” 

Mary bristled at the comment. She had never held a job in her life. She had never needed one. People, it seemed, tripped over themselves to give her things, to provide for her and make her life easier. As a result, she had grown more than a bit spoiled, in her friend’s estimation though, for the most part, Stiles herself was far too polite to say this. She seemed on the edge of doing so, however. 

“Look,” she continued, “for the past year and some, you’ve been blooming like a hydrangea… honestly I don’t even know what that is except that it’s a flower… and they bloom. Anyway, you’ve been popping up these cool-ass powers and shit, but like, how do you know they’re not dangerous to you? And no matter if they are or not, nothing in the whole wide world of sports says you’ve gotta become some kind of fucked up crusader.”

She was making an attempt, trying her best to dissuade her friend from doing something she could see was incredibly stupid. Mary watched far too much television, read too many bad novels, and lived in a fantasy world which was an elaborate reconstruction of reality in which she was the longsuffering hero, or the perpetual victim. This, she could not see, of course (people like her rarely did) and as a result, Stiles thought that her friend becoming a superhero of some kind was “bad news bears” in her parlance. 

“Let’s try and figure this out,” Stiles said, hating the implied plea in her voice. She knew darn well that if Mary decided to do something with her powers, there was little anyone could to to stop her. Her abilities ranged anywhere from telekinesis, to straight-up blood-bending. This latter gave Stiles the willies, but again, it was something she tactfully kept from Mary. She also suspected the woman of possessing some kind of low grade telepathy. Mary seemed to pick up surface thoughts with some ease, but pushing deeper gave her a nosebleed that was somehow also attractive. It irked Stiles, but she figured at that point, she was just being a nitpicky bitch. 

Maybe I’m jealous, she thought. Oh wouldn’t that just suck a fat one? Mary’s head snapped up at that and Stiles realized too late that she had considered that option a little too loudly. In her experience, Mary was skilled at disseminating emotional weaknesses in others and veritably preying on them. She wasn’t certain why she kept company with Mary, but their companionship persisted. 

“Are you jealous?” Mary’s question sliced through the quiet afternoon viciously, going for the jugular. Stiles considered it a moment, wondering if she could get away with lying once she had truly started thinking about it. Am I, though? I mean who doesn’t want power? Every kid’s dream is to be some kind of superhero or wizard or whatever. 

“It’d be kinda fuckin’ cool to be able to do all that shit, yeah,” she admitted, seeing no reason to hide the obvious. She could see the other woman’s demeanor change, then, and she did not like it. Mary had always lorded an air of superiority over Stiles, who, again, had been too polite to point out the utter horseshit of that particular notion. She thought that perhaps she ought to have enrolled the girl in a TED talk about how to be a non-shitty friend at some point, but maybe that was being a little bit harsh. I’ve got no one to blame but my own idiot self, she reminded herself internally, a bit deeper this time. 

“I’d give you some of this if I could,” Mary said, lying through her teeth. It was that falsely genuine tone she used when she was trying to gain sympathy. Stiles hated it. In fact, as they spoke, she was finding more and more that she simply hated about Mary. It wasn’t her looks, her voice, any of those things about which she could do nothing; it was her piss poor attitude. 

“That’s very kind of you,” said Stiles in her most neutral tone. She felt like absolute filth, allowing herself to be so deceptive, but in a very real sense, she was in danger. Mary had god-like power and here they were, talking in a field, where no one would find a body for a while, should something pass between them which was beyond reconciliation. Stiles got the distinct feeling their discussion was rising in that direction no matter what she did. “Thank you.”

“I just... “ Mary hesitated, the wind tossing her hair this way and that. The red caught the light and flashed. She hung her head and looked down at her hands, the very picture of contemplative melancholy. Stiles’s mouth twitched in the ghost of a sneer she had to fight down. “My life hasn’t… ever given me any breaks,” Mary continued. “Everyone always leaves me. I end up alone and… and I don’t understand why.” 

Stiles watched her sink to her knees and resisted the urge to move forward and pat her on the back. The very idea of laying a hand upon her companion made her guts turn. She stayed right where she was, just observing, waiting for Mary to make her next move. This felt very much like a drama that simply needed to play itself out. It was not the first time the woman had broken down and talked about how difficult her life had been, but it felt as if each time was the first, for her, like she did not recall doing it previously.

“I have this… this one thing,” said Mary, “and you want to have it, too. Do you know how that feels?”

“Not… really, no,” said Stiles, arms crossed. Her caution was bordering on pure irritation now, a jarring, whiplash change. She had never felt pity, such a sensation was beneath her, but what had been there before had at least been some form of sympathetic affection, or at least a self preservation instinct to keep one’s enemies close. Cynical today, aren’t we?

“It feels like shit!” Mary struck out with her power, whipping her hand toward her companion, who was tossed back several feet and landed hard on her back, knocking the wind out of her. She coughed and sputtered for a few seconds before recovering herself, gasping deeply and sitting up. She did not respond to pain with fear, but rage, and it took all of her not inconsiderable willpower not to throw herself into the abattoir of Mary’s newfound power, just to get a fistful of those crimson locks and give them a hard yank before being vaporized. 

“W-we square?” Stiles managed this only between a couple of chest-clearing coughs. Her cheeks were red, the color settling high and running right to her ears. “Or do you need to flex your new power by tossing your friend around a little more?”

She leaned forward and then stood up, brushing herself off as if getting hit with a psionic blast and knocked onto her back had been a mere inconvenience, something minor to be brushed off like so much lint. She was doing it on purpose. If there was one thing power-mad narcissists hated, it was to be rendered irrelevant. Stiles was not sure Mary was quite to that level yet, but this outburst had done its bit to convince her of the advances stages of Asshole-oma in which her fellow human (she could not even think of Mary as a companion anymore) now found herself. 

“I’m sorry,” Mary said, not moving any closer. “But you made me do it. Your jealousy… it hurts me.”

“Yeah honestly, I don’t give a fuck how it makes you feel,” Stiles shot back, her tone flat and dangerous, though she knew she could do nothing to stop Mary if she wanted to tear her into pieces and feed her meat to the crows. “I’d be more inclined to care if you showed a shred of… like any empathy for anyone other than yourself, but you don’t. You never really have, but these powers haven’t helped.”

The very concept that someone who was less than she was telling her off infuriated Mary and she summoned a tornado of blue fire which scorched the wheat around her and surrounded her body in a pillar of power. Stiles stood her ground, though the heat had become oppressive. It was becoming difficult to breathe, but she had already decided she would stick it out through this, until she was dead or unconscious. 

Without another word, Mary shot into the sky leaving a scorch mark and Stiles behind. The latter released a breath she had not realized she’d been holding and looked around. The field was a wreck. The wheat that wasn’t singed was shriveled and even over-ripe. Whether it was from the heat or some other, new power Mary had just manifested, Stiles neither knew nor cared. 

She dug her phone out of her back pocket and scrolled to the S in contacts. Tapping a name she lifted the device to her ear and listened to the ringing as she headed toward the edge of the field. A middle-aged woman’s voice answered her call. “Yes?”

“Mrs. Sue, ma’am? I did what I could, but your daughter… she’s unreachable. My condolences.” Stiles ended the call as the woman broke into sobs. Passively, with nary an expression of sympathy upon her features, Stiles dialed another number and held the phone out in front of her, switching to speaker. 

“Agent Imperia,” came a cold voice from the other end. The signal was crisp for being out in the boonies.

“Sir.”

“You have news about the omni-powered asset?”

“All due respect, sir, she’s no asset; she’s a target and besides that, a liability. Have your men in the area got eyes on her?” 

There was the sound of movement from the other end, some muttering between people where the phone receiver was clearly covered, and the tap of keys. “Christ, Imperia, her signature’s halfway to the ionosphere!”

“Yes sir, I assumed as much,” confirmed the agent, not bothering to disguise the “I told you so” in her voice. “You’d better take her out fast, before she poses a real threat. Right now, she’s a toddler with a shotgun, but she could get worse.”

The man on the other end grumbled. “You could’ve pacified her, Agent Imperia. Why did you let her go?” He already suspected she had actually pushed this one, who had otherwise seemed fairly pliant and docile.

“She was unstable, sir. As I said, I judged her a liability. Her moods were too unpredictable. She had a mean streak a mile wide. She was a bully, sir, plain and simple. I know you aren’t inclined to hire too many of those, are you?”

“At this juncture, I have no choice but to defer to your judgment, Imperia. I trust you and I hope you’re right.”

“Good call, sir. The subject in question will always be a liability. There’s no handler who can teach her better because she already thinks she’s hot shit, if you’ll pardon my language. Her psych profile suggested latent narcissism. Well, sir, that’s no longer latent. She’s dangerous and she knows it. My advice? Space her.”

The silence on the other end signaled the gravity of her statement. Agent Imperia, sometimes known as Stiles, assumed the field office commander had put his phone on speaker as well. All the better. She was a senior agent and if she judged that someone should be spaced, rather than rehabilitated or even resocialized, there was something gravely wrong. 

“Understood, Imperia. Head home. I’m still not happy about this but…”

“I understand,” she responded, ending the call. Stowing the phone, she stuffed her hands into her unipocket and sauntered out of the field and through a copse of trees to her old beater truck. Pulling her wallet and keys free, she stuffed one into the ignition and the other, she tossed onto the seat. 

As it fell open a federal ID declared her to be part of the United States Government’s metahuman observation and recruitment division. Under a section labeled “ability/ies”, a single word was written:

“Imperipath”