#finally getting to talk about the butter churner

[anxiousgaypanicking]

What do you think remus’s favorite position is ? :3

any position thats 1. completely impossible (hes not real; it doesnt matter that his ankles are tied behind his neck), 2. abnormal (being strung from the ceiling, pushed over surfaces, anything outside of the standard on his back on the bed), or 3. painful (he likes being bent partially in half).

if youre GOING to set him on the bed, then his dick better be rubbing against his own face with how harshly hes being bent. otherwise any sort of uncomfortable surface makes a great spot, or even in the grass where things can get messy.

look up the butter churner if you want. thats what i imagine hed enjoy

[semisgroupie]

GAGAMARU + FULL NELSON

gagamaru gin x fem. reader

wc: 1.6k

warnings: lots of talk about different sex positions, unprotected sex, creampie, strength kink, manhandling, hints at a size kink (mans is big), praise, mirror sex, spanking, hints at dumbification, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (f!receiving), squirting

synopsis: gagamaru has found his new favorite position

Your boyfriend loves trying new positions with you whenever you two fuck. It’s like he made it a little challenge to see how many positions he could try with you.

First it was just the basics. Starting with missionary, doggy, 69, spooning, and cowgirl, he loved those positions and they were positions he went back to when he fucked you. But it wasn’t enough, he needed something more, something that’ll just satiate this urge that has been building.

Then he did some research and started introducing you to the new positions he found. First it was the waterfall, it was extremely enjoyable and you both had intense orgasms but it wasn’t good enough. He also forgot to put a pillow on the floor so he ended up having a bad tightness in his neck for the entirety of the next day.

The next position he wanted to try was the butter churner. It tested your own flexibility beyond belief and it tested his own stamina and patience. He wanted nothing more than to start pounding into you but due to the position you were in, if he were to do that you would get hurt.

Then the next position was the wheelbarrow. Another position that now tested your upper body strength and a position that tested his patience once again. This time it was a test of patience that he failed. He couldn’t hold himself back and slammed his hips into yours, causing you to lose your balance and almost faceplant into the floor. If it wasn’t for his quick reflexes then you would have.

After that little escapade you two decided a little break on trying adventurous positions would be beneficial but that didn’t mean Gagamaru would stop his research. And he’s finally stumbled upon the position that he thinks would be the one.

You were laying on your shared bed in one of his old jerseys and you were scrolling mindlessly through your social media feed. He walked over and gently pulled your phone from your hands and set it on the nightstand. “Hi beautiful.”

You looked up at your boyfriend, his hair was tied up messily and his big eyes peered down into yours. “Hi handsome.��� He cupped your face in his large hands and kissed you deeply. He didn’t need to say a word, the way he kissed you hungrily told you everything you needed to know.

His hands moved from your face to your chest and groped you through the material of the jersey you stole from him. He groaned against your lips and pulled back slightly, “you’re irresistible my love. You know how much I love it when you’re in my old jerseys.” He groped your breasts again and captured your lips in a bruising kiss.

His hands continued to move along your body, gripping whatever he could over the jersey before he reached down to pull it off you and toss it to a corner of the room. Thankfully you decided not to wear any panties which gave him easier access to what he needed most. He quickly shed his clothes and crawled over you. “I need you so bad, I’ve been thinking about you all day and I’ve been craving you.” He leaned down to your chest and peppered open mouthed kisses along the skin before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He roughly sucked on the perky bud while he moved one hand to toy with the other then trailed kisses up to your ear. “I found a new position for us to try. Wanna try it out? I promise it’ll be fun.”

He gently nibbled on your earlobe and pulled back so he could look you in the eyes while you thought and responded. “Let’s try it.” Once the words left your lips he quickly moved to position you both. He felt like his cock grew harder by the second and you grew even more excited with how eager he was.

He adjusted you so your back was to him and he had his hands on your hips, holding onto you tightly while you reached down to stroke his cock. You turned your head to look back at him and raised an eyebrow, “reverse cowgirl? We’ve done this position plenty of times before.” He chuckled at your words and used his grip on your hips to sink you down onto his cock, not even giving you a moment to fully adjust to his size as he made you take him completely.

“I know we have but this isn’t the position I was talking about but get to riding and I’ll show you.” He ended his sentence with a spank to your ass and you leaned forward to hold onto his thighs and started bouncing. He moved his hands along your body, from your hips to help you bounce and back to your ass to spank you each time your hips met his. His cock rubbed against your walls perfectly, hitting all your sweet spots and giving you that pleasurable stretch that you loved.

You almost lost yourself in the complete pleasure of bouncing on his cock, practically forgetting about the position he wanted to try out. He gripped your hips tightly and that made you look back at him with a small pout on your lips. “Lean back against me and lift your legs up.” You did as he said and bit your lip in anticipation. He planted his feet on the bed and hooked his arms under your legs and moved his hands behind your head, locking his fingers behind it. “Let me know if it’s too much okay?”

You nodded as best as you could and he started thrusting up into you, just jackhammering into you. The pace he set was mind numbing and all you could do was hold onto his arms and cry out his name. His heavy balls slapped against your clit with each thrust and you couldn’t take your eyes off of the sight beneath you. “You love watching my cock slam in and out of you huh? Just watching as I stretch your tight pussy to its limits? You can’t even tear your gaze away even if you wanted to.” His words went straight to your core, it was true, you couldn’t tear your gaze away from the sight in front of you. He looked even more massive in this position, just completely splitting you open.

You gripped his arms tighter as the coil in your belly tightened more and more until it finally snapped. Your body shook in his hold and you finally shut your eyes as your orgasm washed over you. He continued fucking you through your orgasm, holding you in that same position as you shook and trembled in his hold. “You look so pretty when you cum, my love but I’m not done yet.”

He moved his hands from the back of your head and shifted them to your shoulders to hold you against him and kept his arms hooked underneath your legs. In a swift move he was standing and he took a few steps to stand in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom. “Now I can see that pretty empty look in your eyes while I fuck you.”

He hooked his hands back behind your head and started thrusting again. The waves of overstimulation took over you while it seemed like Gagamaru had no plans of stopping. Now that he’s found his perfect position he was going to milk the moment for as long as he could. His grip on you never faltered for a moment, he kept you close to him while he kept pounding into you.

You looked at him through the mirror with half lidded eyes, watching the stray hairs stick to his face as he looked back at you. “I want your cum inside me please, I need it so badly.” Your voice was shaky due to your second impending orgasm and it almost sent him over the edge. He held onto you tighter and somehow started thrusting faster and harder.

“Cum for me and I’ll fill this sweet pussy up. Cum for me.” He groaned in your ear and that was all you needed for the coil to snap a second time, this time your orgasm was more intense. He watched with wide eyes as you squirted, watching how it gushed out of you while he continued thrusting. He threw his head back for a moment and slammed his hips into yours, finally reaching his own orgasm.

He groaned and rolled his hips against yours as his cock continued twitching, filling you with more cum. He slowly lifted you to pull out and walked you back to bed, setting you down on the soft sheets before laying next to you. “That was amazing, fuck.” He groaned and pulled you close to him. “Are you okay, my love?”

He gently caressed your cheek and you looked up at him. “I’m perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm that intense.” He chuckled and pressed a kiss to your lips before pulling back. “Now get some rest, you look exhausted. You did so amazing for me, I’m so proud of you. I love you so much.”

You nodded and adjusted your position to rest your head on his chest. “I love you more.” Your words were mumbled before you drifted off to sleep with your boyfriend quickly following suit.

Now the search for the perfect position was finally over, all his urges have been satiated…until he finds something else to crave.

taglist: @litepowee @satmitsuplanet

[writingsofwesteros]

Jon actually being Ned's bastard, Lyanna still being the mother. He'd always felt his cock harden for his sister and they soon began a secret relationship where he would fuck her anywhere and wherever he wanted. Ned would suck his sister's tits and cum inside her pretty pussy as if he were her lord husband or betrothed himself. Everytime his friend Robert tried something with Lyanna, Ned would get angry, his jealousy and desperation to have her reaching a fever pitch when she's betrothed to him. He listens to Robert talk about all the ways he'll fuck Ned's sister, how he'll take Ned's place as the one that gives her creampies and will father an army of children on her.

Ned decides to get even by doing everything that Robert wants to do, but can't, with Lyanna. He's going to break her in and take her in every position so that he can always be her first in everything. Ned goes at her in doggystyle, cowgirl, wheelbarrow, side by side, pretzel dip, seashell, butter churner, good ex, spider, stand and deliver, reverse missionary, etc. He fills her with his spend every time and watches her body thrash around in pleasure, her lips sucking around his fingers to keep her quiet and prevent their brother or anyone else from finding out. Ned lets her take breaks to suck on his cock in various positions to get him ready to fill her again, sometimes playing with her pussy or eating her out as she did bobbed her head.

When Rhaegar took her away with him, she only left because she knew she was pregnant by Ned and didn't want to get him in trouble. She pretends to love Rhaegar back and passes him off as her child's father so he'll continue helping her out. Lyanna misses Ned dearly and hopes he'll understand why she did this or will at least be smart enough to know it's always been him she loved. As she suffers through birthing her precious baby, she is burdened by the wish that Ned could be there to help her and meet their baby.

Lyanna's son finally pops out of her, taking all her strength from her to finally push him the rest of the way out. She holds her son, noting how much he's taken after his father just being born before crying as she realizes she can't feel the bottom half of her body. The blood trickles down her legs as she sobs and prays to the Old Gods that at least her baby boy is saved, her Jon, a bastard born of the love between two siblings from house Stark.

By the time Ned makes it there, she is much too weak to do much besides feed her baby, soon only being able to hold him to her chest. Her eyes regain some of their life and her small smile becomes bright when Ned's horrified face comes into her view. Lyanna knows her prayers have been answered, for not only is her baby Jon saved, but it was by her dear brother. She calls for him, Ned kneeling next to her bed and trying to rub at her legs before realizing she can't feel it and beginning to sob.

Lyanna uses the rest of her strength to hold out their precious creation, passing him over to his father as she says "meet baby Jon... he's our son." Ned holds him in awe, hugging the baby close to him before raising to pull Lyanna into the hug with them. He smooths her hair back and kisses her softly before kneeling again, holding their son in his big hands, still just staring at him as if he's not real. Lyanna smiles, her body fading and feeling stiffer, skin loosing it's warmth at a rapid pace.

Her last sight before it all goes blurry is the love of her life, her brother Eddard "Ned" Stark, lovingly clutching their son, the proof that their love had survived. He had taken all her firsts, her reciprocating a few times, but the one she's most proud is taking from him the honor of being the first to fill his heart and the first to give him a child 👑💀 (i was going to make this just be sexy, but ig tragedy works too lmao)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADORE THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!

You are amazing at such ideas !!

[raevfitta]

Eurovision Semifinal 1

I’m going to rewatch the first semifinal and go through the songs today because I don’t think watching on my phone, in the pub, gave me the best impression of the performances (it always prevented me from actively commenting.....). I will hopefully be able to do preview thoughts for the second semifinal in the afternoon so I feel “prepared.” This is a mix between my expectations, reactions, and general whininess. 

I can just comment that the Salty Swedish commenters went right for the throat when they commented how the Ukrainians decided that three young white men are how to “celebrate” diversity. Justtttt....

1.  Sweden Robin Bengtsson "I Can’t Go On" (Advanced to finals) - I complained during Melodifestivalen that this wasn’t my favourite song. And it still isn’t. I think that Nano and Wictoria had better songs and performances but whatEveR here we ARE with THIS. I always want Sweden to win (just so I can go to the final lolll) but to me this doesn’t sound like a winning song. It is Justin Timberlake lite and he just BOTHERS ME. He looks like if an alien were to try to create an attractive human from memory and something went wrong in the process. But in the Sea of Ballads that is this year, I at least enjoy that the song is “upbeat.” He doesn’t blow me away, needless to say. 3/5 And a question about this performance, are they not wearing socks???? 

2.  Georgia Tamara Gatjetjiladze "Keep the Faith" (Did not advance) - This semifinal was a slog to get through just because of (as the Swedish commentators pointed out) the Jamala effect. This song was three minutes long but felt soooo much longer. She looks like some one performing on the ferry to Finland. We trained but just meh. I think she had a decent voice and an okay performance but the song was just...so middle of the row. 3/5

3.  Australia Isaiah "Don't Come Easy" (Advanced to finals) - Other than the ballad trend, the X-Factor/Voice/Idol trend realllllyyyy bothers me. He sings really well but this song sounds like a fucking Idol final. This is the first Australia song that didn’t blow me away on the first listen. I fucking hate the stupid pictures of performers as the backdrop too so this song can go fuck itself. It has more drama live (except for that odd squeaking thing he did towards the end when he tried to reach a high note wtf was that) but loses points because of the spinning video of himself in the background. I knew it would go to the finals on reputation alone but that’s the same with Sweden. You’ve got to really phone it in to not make the finals from Aus and Swe. 3/5

4.  Albania Lindita "World" (Did not advance) - I could guess from the recorded version that she would not do well live and well, here we are. Eurovision continues its tradition of not being able to afford pants for female entrants and the men’s pants are getting shorter and shorter...This is another plodding ballad that is so empty of meaning. I’m not surprised this didn’t advance. Forgettable. 2/5

5.  Belgium Blanche "City Lights" (Advanced to finals) - I was so happy when this advanced. She still looks scared performing but I really enjoy the text and the tempo of this song. This is a song that grows on me and reminds me a little of Anouk’s “Birds” from ESC2013, which was another song that grew on me. I wish that Blanche didn’t look petrified of performing. It’s like she would rather be singing behind a partition or something. 4/5 

6.  Montenegro Slavko Kalezić "Space" (Did not advance) - The first upbeat song and of course it didn’t go to the finals. This has a bit of Modern Talking feel and is just classic Eurovision. His voice is not that strong live but he makes up for it with enthusiasm. He needed backup dancers or something because he looks sort of ... lonely... on the stage with only himself and his hair. But again the stupid fucking spinning images of the performer sour this for me. Entertaining and upbeat at least!!! 3/5 (They kept cutting to the crowd and they do not look like they are having a good time....and lol the app keeps telling me that there are tickets left the finale??? What???)

(And the hosts make me miss Petra, as much as I actively dislike her. They are like annoying little cousins that think they are funny but just UGH.)

7.  Finland Norma John "Blackbird" (Did not advance) - I didn’t enjoy this from the album but when I heard (and watched) this, this really grew on me. It reminded me (a little) of the Common Linnets from 2014. I guess it was a 50-50 if this or Belgium were going to go on and Belgium took it. She sings with passion and this song grows on me. Too bad, try again next year Finland. 4/5.

8.  Azerbaijan Dihaj "Skeletons" (Advanced to finals) - Fucking Azerbaijan. She was like WHISPERING as she sung and good LORD that stage performance looked like something a high school drama club would put on with the theme “how to make Eurovision memes but Italy already took Harambe so I guess Horsehead masks are still big right???”. This reminded me of SO MANY “middle of the road” Eurovision songs. Is there something wrong with her MIC? Just ugh. This is another song that takes a million years. Can she be Skeletor instead? 0/5

9.  Portugal Salvador Sobral "Amar pelos dois" (Advanced to finals) - Okay, finally a song not in English. I love the story behind this song and find the performance really charming, but the song is just not my cup of tea. It makes me think of something from a classic movie. It’s nice that it went to the finals and I like how it is an actual song with meaning behind its metaphors rather than just Random Metaphor Generated ballads like most of the other songs tonight. 3.5/5 (not a winner but a fine song. Gets an extra half point for not being in English)

(I can’t wait to watch the semifinal and final without the commentators. Måns is fine but good lordddd Edward af Sillén is trying too hard ughhhhh)

10.  Greece Demy "This Is Love" (Advanced to finals) - Another typical Eurovision song but at least it is upbeat and not a plodding ballad. She is a little weak live but at least she wasn’t “alone” with her strange swan-men backup dancers splashing around. She actually looks embarrassed to have them there (but that could be the permanent smile she has plastered on her face). Meh. 3/5.

11.  Poland Kasia Moś "Flashlight" (Advanced to finals) - (More like FLESHLIGHT, am I right you guys????? Hahhahhaaa I’m so funny) I always have a soft spot for Poland. I don’t dislike this song but it is another “slowly building towards some sort of drama” ballad. Bring back the butter churners. 3/5. 

12.  Moldova SunStroke Project "Hey Mamma" (Advanced to finals) - Epic Sax Guy returns and does not disappoint. Too bad this song sounds like a discount Jason Derulo song. Upbeat song at least trying something a little different and giving another classic Eurovision moment (and moments come Saturday). This might be one of the few songs I put on a playlist post-competition (I can say that right now this year seems more forgettable than usual....) and even though the dance is fairly basic I might have to start doing more Running Man dance moves 4/5 (bonus points for that fucking saxophone because Internet.)

13.  Iceland Svala "Paper" (Did not advance) - It is always discouraging when none of the other “Nordic” countries make it out of the semis. Sweden does not spread the love, clearly. This reminds me of a Greta’s entry from last year a little. I don’t understand how goddamned Azerbaijan goes to the final but this doesn’t. I think she needed some backup dancers or something because she doesn’t know what to do with her arms. Shame she isn’t going forward but this was an average song to begin with. 3/5. 

(God damn the hosts are CREEPY and the jokes are so like UGH. The only thing that is more aggravating is how Edward is reacting because he sounds exasperated....)  

14.  Czech Republic Martina Bárta "My Turn" (Did not advance) - Poor Czech Republic. I really want them to do well and not back out of the competition again. But poor Martina looks EXHAUSTED out there like she didn’t sleep last night. I enjoy this song and thought it had a chance to make the finals over some shittier songs (*cough* Azerbaijan *cough*). Charming song, shame it isn’t going forward. But it is good they found Belgium’s outfit from last year in an adult size. 3/5

15.  Cyprus Hovig "Gravity"  (Advanced to finals) - This is a song that grows on me. It reminds me a little of Hungary from last year. BUT DO THEY FORBID SOCKS AND PANTS OF A PROPER LENGTH AT EUROVISION? Catchy song, a decent stage performance (although we’ve seen it before). Don’t see it winning but I will enjoy listening to it on Saturday. 4/5.

16.  Armenia Artsvik "Fly With Me"  (Advanced to finals) - Finally something that makes the song a little more “unique” (honestly, none of the previous entries sound like they are distinct or come from a specific country). I wish this was a little more upbeat but at least the refrain sticks with you. 3/5

17.  Slovenia Omar Naber "On My Way"  (Did not advance) - Like the Nordic countries, I am always in support of the Balkan countries doing well. And this semifinal didn’t really start well. I don’t really MIND this song (it is a “musical” number so it sticks with you like gum on the bottom of your shoe.) It has the qualities of a Disney protagonist’s “going to get what I want song” but redone by a company ripping off Disney. Poor Slovenia. The text was really bad omgggg. 2/5

18.  Latvia Triana Park "Line"  (Did not advance) - This would have been a decent song if it didn’t sound like you were listening to it through the wall of your neighbour’s apartment. I’m not surprised this didn’t make the finals. I wish they could have brought a little more “power” or something to it. They had potential but potential doesn’t always mean results. 2/5. 

General comments: The stage looks poorly designed to me. The performers look generally uncomfortable with such an expansive space. But we’ll see how Semifinal 2 shapes up....