#firstbusnews

[cankeredlamentations]

Germ Warfare

So it's snowing like fuck here in Leeds and windy as hell too. On the Firstbus and a woman stood at the stop literally puts here hand out and steps into view as the peasant ferry is roaring past, so the driver went past, while I could see her mouth some exclamation at the passing vehicle. Anyway the bus stopped about 10 meters after the stop so the woman could get on, opens the doors so the icy blasts of winter flood the bus and strip what little warmth there is from inside the bus, meanwhile while everyone is shivering like a shitting dog, the woman who appears relatively young and able bodied, SLOWLY trudges to the bus at her own leisurely pace, gets on and commits one of the worst public transport faux pas imaginable but not having her pass or money ready. After 2 or 3 minutes of excavating her handbag she finally dug out her purse but the mining operation did end there oh no! She then delicately opened her purse and spent another solid minute digging out change. Eventually some time later when the feeling had left most of my extremities, she sits down and then starts coughing and spluttering (which strangely enough sounded like a Kazoo been blown) and generally commiting germ warfare for a good give minutes! After this calms down we get to another stop later and someone else gets on without money or pass ready! I wish I could be so carefree at times! It has to be said that Firstbus does attract life's rich tapestry of people.

[cankeredlamentations]

Cosmos Interference

It seems that if the bus is on time, then some cosmic interference takes place to land me with a forfeit of some for or another. Tonight this forfeit takes the form of a bloke sat behind me stinking strongly of stale tobacco and piss.

[cankeredlamentations]

A phantom or a mirage?

So while waiting for the bus the digital timetable was displaying it's usual lies and nonsense, anyway a small flutter of joy ignited within me as I saw what appeared to be a First bus finally arriving on time only to vanish in thin air! Now anyone reading this may think I was mistaken and perhaps mistake another passing vehicle or truck as a bus but I'm convined I witnessed either a phantom bus long sinced abonded, or a mirage! 5 minutes later an actual physical bus turned up.

[cankeredlamentations]

Sat on the bus and it feels like it has no shock absorbers, as every bump in the road violently rocks through the bus and sends loud banging noises throughout, it must be like driving down a bombed out road full of craters feels in a normal functioning vehicle, I'm suprised no one has whiplash yet.

[cankeredlamentations]

Horrible smells

Further to my last post, in terms of horrible smells stale canabis is up there along with wet dog shit, stale piss and rotting meat, there is no need to smell in a country were you can buy 3 bars of imperial leather soap for a quid.

[cankeredlamentations]

All I Want for Christmas...

What a fiasco tonight was, arrived at the bus stop and the display looked promising counting down fron 3,2 and 1 minute, it stayed on 1 minute for about 5 mins before the bus vanished. Went to the next stop to catch alternate bus and that was stuck on "due" for about 10 minutes, before turning up, so yes it was "due" but 10 minutes earlier. I eventually got on the bus after the snaking queue I was in slowly trudged forward into the warm embrace of First Bus's finest caravan of souls, it was almost too much going from the merciless cold night of Leeds city centre to the toasty comfort of the bus. I'm actually typing this with hands that feel as if they're burning from exposure and some scruffy sweat pant wearing bloke who smells like he's just finshed rolling around a rubbish dump on hot July day is sat next to me so that's making the journey all the more pleasant. Anyway in the run up to Christmas I've decided that all I want is reliable bus service, what do you reckon my chances are?