#fish scene my beloved 💜🧡

[books-books-smolderinglooks]

They don't have names. 💜🧡

[chequerootlurks]

On my breaks, I read at my desk. It’s an open-office set-up, so we don’t have cubicles.

I’m reading a book titled “Without Shame: Learning to be Me” by Connelly Akstens. It’s a signed copy. She’s a friend of my parents.

“Without Shame is about my transgender life, but it’s also about my beloved grandfather, Boston and Cape Cod, my bohemian aunt, a duck in a burlap bag, my eccentric parents, a blowout party for the ages, strange and wonderful restaurants, a worm’s eye view of big-time college basketball, the Cambridge music scene in the ’60s, Woodstock in the ’70s, a lunatic dog and four tuxedo cats, ball lightning, a wedding dress, my years as an Adirondack fly fishing guide, the world’s seediest hotel, my long career in music, treasured friends and students, marriage, beachcombing and mortality.”

Born in 1947, Connelly was assigned male at birth.

_____

When coworkers ask what I’m reading, I tell them. My field is male-dominated (*waves a hand*) but there majority of staff are also het. To date, I haven’t knowingly encountered another queer coworker.

It’s been interesting to see the reactions of people from my department slowly move from “you’re LGBTQIA, but you’re not like them so it’s cool” —

(I don’t know who “them” are. *shrugs*)

— To “Oh, I never really thought about it like that,” and indirectly grow more open-minded, especially towards transwomen.

I guess I come across as non-threatening, and a safe person for them to ask questions to. One would be surprised how many apparently cishet men come over, pull up a chair, and quietly ask me questions.

Now, I know not every person in the queer rainbow is like this, not interested in talking. But I’ve got pride tags on my key-ring, it’s not a secret. I welcome the approach.

If it helps even one person feel more at ease, and indirectly more supportive, then that’s a good thing.

My family knew Connelly by her birth name for most of my life. To be honest, I didn’t even know she was trans till I got a call:

“Hey, remember ______? Well’s her name’s Connelly now. We were wondering if you’d like a copy of her book?”

Absolutely I did!

____

I’ve recommended her book to my coworkers who’ve asked, for the same reason that I’ll recommend it here:

Being a woman has always been part of Connelly’s identity, but it’s not the sole summation of her life. This book is a memoir filled with short stories, some humourous, some moving.

In Connelly’s own words:

“I’m nobody’s victim, and this is not a ‘Me and My Miserable Trans-gender Life’ book.’ .. [It’s] easy to fall into [an apologetic mindset] when you’re not like everyone else.”

At the end of the day, my colleagues are realizing just how “normal,” non-threatening, and “like me” the queer community can be.

🖤🤎❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[books-books-smolderinglooks]

When with a look, we can surmise all your feelings and thoughts.. longing, nostalgia, heartbreak, love. 💜❤️