#five different things... but this is the person who set his discord icon to a cassette cover from a black metal band with

[hydnes]

this guy i don't like got back on the internet like a week ago and literally everything he said about me & my system's friend group just ended up being true about himself. that's crazy. how are you going to be like "YOU... YOU'RE PRO SELF HARM!!!" over nothing and then disappear off the internet for 4 months just to come back later and be straight up pro self harm. i don't get it and i also hope you kill yourself

[handdrawnfantasma]

OKAY it’s almost 1am and i’ve been yelling at kite on discord for long enough, time to commit my thoughts on 13′s final episode to my tumblog. spoilers under the readmore, obvs

okay so first things first let’s get this out of the way: i genuinely LOVED it. like is it in my “these episodes really Hit Different” tier or my “shiny gold star” tier, no, but it is SOLIDLY in my “loved it” tier. i just. it was so much FUN! it was so JOYFUL! i’m so happy that 13 got to go out on this kind of note and i’m so glad that her regen episode was just. a FUN ride.

like tbh nothing about this episode went as i expected it to go but i am actually okay with that! i could definitely think of a few ways that this final special could have been linked in more with like, the wider overarching themes or narrative threads of the era, but the more i think about it the more i am okay with the fact that while a handful of the themes were carried through, there wasn’t really a huge link back to like, say, the Timeless Child storyline. and really, there shouldn’t need to be! for me, i guess the main narrative thread of this era was wrapped up with Flux and with 13 coming to terms with what she’d learned about her past and what she still didn’t know, and choosing not to open the fobwatch and instead keep it safe and hidden because she came to the realisation that what Ryan said to her in s12 was right the whole time - whoever she was before, she HAS an identity right now and obsessing over the past rather than living in the present was destroying her and her loved ones. so like, for me the specials function mostly as an emotional coda for 13 and Yaz, and i was surprised to find i didn’t NEED any big links back. tbh i think the main thematic link Chibs was trying to make with this episode was his first-episode thesis statement of “honour who you’ve been and choose who you want to be next” and the themes of hope and connection so like, those were very much present

that being said, Chibs ABSOLUTELY managed to pull a great fake-out on me with that episode opener. like. the entire set-up with the child in the pod on the train and THEN the reveal that it was an eldritch glowy energy creature that instinctively takes a form that makes people want to protect it (A CHILD????) had me sitting there for the first 30-45 minutes of the special FULLY expecting this to take a turn where that turned into some sort of reveal of the Doctor’s original species or something. like i was there FULLY ready for glowy eldritch trueform Dr. in hindsight i’m glad that this is not where this went bc i think that would have done a disservice to some of the things the Timeless Child storyline was trying to accomplish, but i was FULLY ready to be on board and clowning with it. (i may still clown with it, purely bc its such an interesting concept to me as something to explore in fanworks, LMAO)

still so funny to me that Dan noped out in the first 15 minutes of the episode. man had THEE closest near-death experience and was sensibly like “nope i am not pushing my luck i am Outtie!!” honestly? ICONIC, love this for him. love that he still cites his TARDIS experience as something that has given him the strength to live his life on Earth as well. that said, STILL funny that he missed almost the entire adventure, absolute KING move. we stan

i hecking loved ALL the past Doctor cameos we got, holy shit! i wasn’t expecting any of them at all but the circumstances in which they showed up were ABSOLUTELY my jam??? the idea of vestiges of the Dr’s old personalities kicking about inside their thinkpan?? EXQUISITE. Eight refusing to manifest in robes bc he doesn’t do robes, the man the myth the LEGEND. i loved One being like “oh dang i guess this version of us is VERY strong-willed, just won’t die hm” like YES SHE IS!! YES SHE IS!! i also loved that Five and Seven got to have moments of closure with their old companions via 13′s adaptive AI hologram, those moments were so genuinely sweet and touching and i adored them. honestly i just. im so pleased for the 80s doctors and Eight, also. like, remember when it was the 50th anniversary and the only real look-in they got was a short clip of 8 regenerating into the War Dr and the Five-ish Doctors Reboot, which was a labour of love and comedy film mostly written by the three 80s doctors making light of the fact that they weren't going to be in the 50th?? and then it comes to this special and chibs is like. i am gonna write ALL of you into it. like, Six didn't need to be there!!! unlike Five and Seven, his companions did not feature (with the exception of Mel’s brief cameo in the Companion Support Group at the end)!! but he's there helping to bolster his future self and help her hold on to their existence anyway

i ammmm MANY thoughts head full about the conclusion of the spydoc storyline, like, the more i think about it the more absolutely JUICY things there are to find in here. like. lord. right until the end they were just perfect on the nose foils for each other. the Master becoming so unhappy and so sick and incapable of being himself and presumably still so bitter and depressed about being in the Doctor’s shadow and (he assumes) not having ever been her equal that he hatches a plot to steal the Doctor’s body and identity and completely erase her??? to become her in literally every way and then wreck her reputation??? VS Thirteen who has come to terms with what she does and doesn’t know about herself, and has come to the conclusion that actually she has LOVED being herself!!! the Master being so unable to let either one of them live that even while dying as a result of his own actions backfiring on him once again, crawls after Thirteen JUST to ensure that if he can’t be the Doctor, neither can she. VS Thirteen who wanted more time but gracefully accepts that she has to pass the torch of being the Doctor onto the next them and faces her death with a smile. i just. THEM. THEY. the Master being SO bitter vs the Doctor having seemingly let go of most of her bitterness towards him! (”WHAT a mind!” she says of his plan to LITERALLY STEAL HER BODY AND ERASE HER FROM EXISTENCE! “we used to be friends, once” she says sadly after these aforementioned plans have fallen apart.) i just. GOD. if you two had actually taken a moment to have an ACTUAL PROPER CONVERSATION at ANY POINT during these incarnations of yours y’all could probably have genuinely actually gotten along, but nooooooooooooooooooooooo

anyway this episode also fed me EXCEEDINGLY with regards to my ongoing doctor who theory of mirrors. like. LORD. the Yaz-Dhawan!Master-13 hall of mirrors in this episode was EXQUISITE. can’t believe that in the episode where we had the Master trying to literally, physically take the Doctor’s place in the universe and failing, we had Yaz spiritually embodying what it is to be the Doctor RIGHT at the moment when it seemed like the Doctor was gone forever. like. Yaz was so magnificent during this episode and i’m so PLEASED about this conclusion to her Doctorification plotline. she piloted the TARDIS on her OWN!! using the notes she made HERSELF during those 10 long months separated from 13 trying to get that other TARDIS to move!!! she made a plan with Vinder and saved Ace from crashing into the ground and moved people to where they needed to be and she SAVED the Doctor just by being herself. no destiny, no weird timey wimey bullshit, no special powers. just Yasmin Khan and her faith in herself and her faith in and love for the Doctor. the Master was really there trying to break Yaz’s faith in 13 and she was no-selling him every time. QUEEN.

also she got to bridal-carry an unconscious, injured 13 into the TARDIS and like honestly? stunning, beautiful, powerful, showstopping, incredible

very important point for me: 13 is 4 for 4 with getting companions back home, safe, ready to live the rest of their lives, being wiser and better people for their experiences travelling with her. like sorry but she is WINNING

also like. im still so emotional about 13′s ending. it was just so POSITIVE. the gratitude for having met and loved the people she did and experienced what she did with them?? “my hearts are full of love for you all”. also god. she LOVED being herself!!! the Doctor had an incarnation that LOVED being themself despite what she went through during all that!! i love this so much for her. i love that she got one last quiet moment with Yaz and got to see Yaz safe at home. i love that she got to tell her TARDIS to look after the next one. i love that she CHOSE the way she would meet her own end and she wanted to do it while seeing one last sunrise as herself. i just. she was at peace with herself and with the idea of leaving even if she WANTED more time as herself and tbh this is all i wanted for her from this episode. tbh i’m even only slightly Annoyed at having had to watch her turn into DT again instead of Ncuti and i FULLY expected to be frothingly angry and bitter about it, but the rest of the episode and the lead-up to the regen itself was just so JOYFUL that i am much less mad than expected

tl;dr will absolutely be bothering my parents again this week to steal their iPlayer access and watch this special again, and now i am FREE to write reams of Sunless AU fanfic with wild abandon

[thiswasinevitableid]

Picture Perfect (Indruck)

A friend on discord @morganeashton asked for this meet ugly for Indruck: 09. we’re strangers who meet at a bar, get drunk, and wake up to announcements of our new engagement all over our social media - what did we do???

Duck’s woken up with worse hangovers. He’s also woken up with far worse people in his bed. The man next to him is slim and angular, silvery hair falling across his face as he sleeps. Yep, just as cute today as he was yesterday. 

Now if only he could remember if they slept together. 

He groans quietly as he climbs out of bed; he’s in a fluffy hotel robe with nothing beneath it. So one point in the “we fucked” category.

Duck tugs the curtains, already mostly closed, all the way shut to block out harsh daylight. The man, Indrid, makes a chirping noise and rolls over, still asleep.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“I was not aware this was that kind of bar.”

“It’s, uh, I mean, it ain;t, but, uh, you, uh, you looked kinda lonesome and , uh, well, fuck, nevermind, sorry-”

“It’s alright” the man grins reassuringly, setting a hand with black painted nails on Duck’s arm, “it would be good for me to spend the night with something other than my own thoughts.”

Duck hops onto the stool next to him, signals the bartender for drinks

Padding out into the next room, the suite is just as impressive as last it was last night. Whoever Indrid is, he’s loaded. 

“So, uh, what do you do?”

“I’m a photographer.”

“Really? Damn, I, uh, I dabble in it as a hobby, mostly nature stuff, and I’m fuckin’ amazed by anyone who can do it as a job. Shit’s hard.”

“It is rather challenging at times, though I enjoy it. What do you do?”

“I’m a ranger in the national forest. Live in Kepler, that dinky little town by it, came the half hour here for a work conference.”

“That sounds fascinating, tell me everything” Indrid leans closer, grinning.

“Uh, okay. Usually folks are itchin to make some joke about trees. Or Smokey the Bear.”

“I suppose you are bear-like.”

“Heh-”

“I like it.”

“Guh.”

He finds a room service menu on the table by the T.V the size of his first car, reads it over as he wanders back to the bedroom. Peeking into the trash, he doesn’t see any condoms or condom wrappers. One point in the ‘we didn’t fuck” category.

“That was last call, sugar.”

“No, unacceptable, I want to hear the bear-box story you, hic, --excuse me-- promised me.”

“And I wanna tell it, jus’ can’t be here.”

“Come, come back to my room. It’s big, we can talk, please come?”

“Course, darlin, whoa, damn, think we better take the elevator, little drunker than I meant to get.”

“I’ll, hic, admit I was paying more attention to you than my, hic, drink quantity, my sweet.”

He sets the menu down, wanders into the bathroom but finds no pain killers. Settles for filling two glasses with tap water and carrying them to a side table. When he slides back under the blankets and rests against the headboard, Indrid sighs, wiggles closer and snuggles so his nose is bumping Duck’s thigh.

“Morning?”

“Yep.”

“Ugh.”

“Here, this’ll help.” He hands Indrid the water as he blearily sits up. The taller man downs it in one, handing the empty glass back to him with a smile.

“Thank you. Such lovely southern manners.”

“You’re welcome. And, uh, speakin of manners, do you remember if we…”

“No, we did not. There was some kissing, I recall, but we decided we were too drunk. A wise decision all told, though the temptation was great.” Indrid slowly looks him over, smile turning from sleepy to sultry.

“Well uh, this was they day I set aside for sight-seein. Think I could be persuaded to see some sights right here.” His phone buzzes. He ignores it.

“Really now.” Indrid purrs, leaning in to kiss his cheek. On the other nightstand, his phone dings. He ignores it. 

“Oughta get some breakfast in us first, fuckin on a hangover stomach ain’t fun.” Another buzz.

“Mmm, very wise. Their breakfast is quite good, you can order whatever you like.” Indrid is nearly in his lap. His phone dings twice more. 

“Ain’t you the polite host--for fucks sake.” Duck reaches over and grabs his phone, Indrid sighing and mirroring him when his dings three more times. 

He has texts from Juno, Aubrey, and Ned, two calls from Jane, and one from Joe, and all seem to be about…

“Oh no” Indrid covers his mouth with one hand, brown eyes wide, “oh no, oh Duck, oh I’m supremely sorry.”

“Married? What the fuck? We didn’t get married, we cant, there ain’t a spot for it here, what the fuck-”

“Why do they think this, it must be oh, oh dear” he turns his phone. It’s an Instagram profile, at the top of which is a photo of the two of them in  their robes in this very bed, lounging together with goofy smiles as Indrid kisses Duck’s cheek. The caption is even worse.

“Best man ever. Internet, say hello to my husband. Isn’t he handsome?” Duck reads aloud, Indrid making a prolonged noise of alarm as the phone continues dinging. 

“I’m so sorry, I, I don’t know, I must have been trying to type future husband? Which is still hyperbolic, I was drunk, but it would have been more salvageable.”

“Okay, right, we all done some boneheaded shit havin’ had a few too many, but why the fuck does everyone and their goddamn uncle know?”

“I....I never said my last name last night, did I.”

“No.” Duck’s stomach sours.

“I’m Indrid Cold.”

Duck blinks at him, and even in the midst of the panic he smiles a little.

“I didn’t get the sense you knew of me, which was part of your already considerable charm. I, I am the man you call for your Rolling Stone spread or your Vanity Fair cover, the one magazines fight over to have cover the MET Gala or the Oscars. My social media followers meet the same number as some countries populations, and I am notoriously reclusive and private about my life. Hence the uproar.” He rubs his forehead, “I am fairly certain I just wanted a picture of us; I was having so much fun, you, you made me feel so wonderful and I assumed this would be a fling, and I, I wanted a memento. In my compromised state, I must have misjudged where to put it.” 

“Huh.” Duck stares at his phone, still lighting up with new messages. He’s torn between being flattered and being really, really pissed. 

“I, ah, I will call my publicist and sort things out now. Excuse me.” 

Duck watches Indrid leave. His phone is buzzing with unfamiliar numbers now, and when he answers one it’s a reporter from a fashion site he’s never heard of. 

Indrid is handsome, and intriguing, and Duck desperately wants to see as much of him as he can. But there’s no way in hell he can handle this kind of attention, even if it’s misplaced. So while Indrid speaks, hurried and hushed, in the other room, he slips on yesterday’s clothes and disappears out the door. 

---------------------------------------------------

He almost doesn’t look at the phone when it buzzes. For starters, he’s at work, but also the last two weeks have made him never want to speak to another living human again. When he pulls it from his pocket and looks at the message a half-dozen emotions hit him at once.

Indrid: I’m fairly certain we exchanged numbers, so I hope this is the right one. Duck, if this is you, I hope you’re well. And if you’re interested, I was wondering if you’d like to meet again.

Duck: Yeah, it’s me. And my answer might be different if I hadn’t spent the last two weeks being hounded by fucking reporters.

Indrid: So my clarification did nothing.

Duck: convinced them there’d been some kind of drama, so now they all want to know if it was a money grab or I’m an escort or some shit like that.

Indrid: I’m sorry, Duck. I’ll make things right, somehow. 

Duck: Don’t do it thinking it’ll get you a second date. Because the thought of that much attention all at once again give me fucking hives.

There’s no response, so Duck jams the phone back into his pocket and trudges up the trail.

------------------------------------------------------------

Alright, maybe following Indrid’s Instagram was a bad idea. Because, unlike any other celeb on the platform, he never posts pictures of himself. Duck just wants to see his face again. 

He looks down, notices four new notifications; an account with only five posts and an icon that’s just two red circles followed him a few days ago, and whoever it belongs to really likes his photos. 

Refreshing the app brings a new post from Indrid, black background with red text.

Mr. Cold invites members of the press to learn how they can gain access to exclusive images and information. 

“Good for him.” Duck mutters, before rolling over and shutting off the light.

---------------------------------------------

Duck sits on the pebbled shore by the lake, skipping stones without counting their jumps. He’s off shift, could go home, but some evenings what he likes best is sitting here, watching the world change from afternoon to dusk. 

Someone is coming up the trail and he sighs; hardly anyone comes to this lake, and yet someone has to at the exact same time he’s trying to decompress. 

“It’s even lovelier in person.” 

Pebbles scatter as he spins.

“Indrid, what the fuck are you doing here? Uh, I mean” he scrambles for his words when he sees Indrid wince at the tone, “not that I ain’t happy to see you but...why?”

“I wanted to ask you if you were still being bothered.” The lilt is shy, nearly drowned out by the cicadas.

“Nope. Stopped about a week ago.”

“Ah good. That means my plan worked. You see I, ah, I offered every large press and small freelancer the chance to access never before seen pieces of my work, all for free. In exchange, they signed a contract that they would leave you alone indefinitely, regardless of your relationship to me, and that any writing on me and a partner would only be done with permission from both myself and them. Anyone who violated those clauses would face a very painful lawsuit.”

“You realize that didn’t do much to make people think I meant nothin to you.”

Indrid shrugs, “That was not the point. I wanted them to leave you alone.”

“Oh.” He looks back across the water, watches an Osprey skim the surface, “how’d you know I’d be here?”

“It’s a spot you shoot often, so I showed your friend at the station the photos and she pointed me the right way.”

“...You’re the person who’s been likin all my pictures, ain’t you?”

“Yes. I, ah, you post plenty of yourself, or your friend the Lady Flame tags you, and I, ah, I missed you, I thought about you so much that I wanted to see you. Perhaps that’s, ah, creepy. I thought it better than constantly trying to contact you.”

“Yeah, good call.”

Indrid shifts, awkwardly, “may I sit?”

Duck nods, and Indrid sinks onto the ground next to him.

“You really ain’t dressed for hikin, are you?”

“No. It’s not something I do often, though you make it sound very appealing.”

“We oughta go together then.” He sets his hand, upturned, on the warm rocks in between them.

“I would like that.” Indrid takes it, “perhaps we could go to lunch afterwards.”

“Sounds real nice.” Duck scoots closer, setting their joined hands on his thigh and resting his head on Indrid’s shoulder.

“To be certain I do not make a fool of myself again; are you saying you would like to try dating me?”

“That I would. But you gotta promise one thing.”

“Anything.”

“No pictures until the third date.” He grins and Indrid chuckles, leaning in for a kiss as warm and slow as the setting sun. 

[yopalonso]

Arle Nadja for Smash Bros. 3: Now it’s about content!

General reminder that I did two parts of this already.

Hey! It’s been a minute or two! That last Direct and Smash showcase was wild, wasn’t it! Banjo releasing that same day? Terry Bogard joining the roster? Nintendo confirming that there are more DLC characters on their way? A Sans Mii costume from Undertale AND Megalovania in Smash Bros.? WELL. I know I’m one month late to the celebration, but, hear me out: just before that Direct, I was legitimately giving up hope on the Arle dream. In my mind, I was “well, we only have two more slots, this ride was fun while it lasted, but this is as far as I go with this”, only to have Sakurai himself stretch out his hand of hope to me while I was deep into my desperation hole. It was insane.

Which got my idea noggin working back again! I wasn’t ready to talk about what I thought in terms of content for Arle’s bundle, but here we are! This will be all about what content she brings into Smash Bros.!

This last post is a two-part, since talking about the Spirits alone would require even more work, so that’ll be in part 4.

Número 1: Stage!

Over at the Arle for Smash Discord server, we’ve discussed which stage should fit Arle’s inclusion the best, and I’ve railed it down to three options: Primp Town, Pwurp Island, and the Dark Prince Castle.

And it was a no-brainer for me: it had to be this one.

The Dark Prince Castle! Out of all the locations in the Puyo world, I cannot say there’s a place that’s just as iconic as this one. Appearing ever since Puyo Puyo 2, and making appearances in different forms throughout the series, the Dark Prince Castle makes for a perfect stage!

Its main shape would be that of a centered tower, much like Kalos Pokémon League’s center platform. The main gimmick of this stage would be “rising floors”: the center of the stage would take you higher into the tower’s different floors for plenty of possible cameos! Lower floors could contain minor characters, middle levels could make some more recognizable faces pop up, and finally, the last floor, could be a reference to Puyo SUN’s last stage, with the Dark Prince himself waiting for you at the highest floor. Sometimes, even, with tropical clothing! The possibilities are endless!

Each floor would also have different platform layouts, to make them differentiate from the lower levels. The central platform itself could also gradually become smaller the higher the stage rises. But the risk of this stage itself is the characters in the background! Y’see, there’s this thing called Puyo Battles, that end up releasing Garbage Puyo that falls on the opponent’s field. Or in this case, the stage itself! From the top, Garbage Puyo could drop at any minute, so you’d have to be on your toes!

While playing this stage in Hazardless, you’d only fight on the lowest floor, and no Garbage Puyo would drop during a match. Character cameos could still pop up here and there, though. As for which would those be, well, you’ll have to wait for that.

Número 2: The music!

Can you quote yourself? ‘Cause I’m about to quote myself. Back in June, the #ArleForSmash Twitter account asked about which music tracks we would include in the game, had we the chance to do so. My answer shall now be complemented to coincide with the amount of music tracks the other Fighters Pass characters have received with their inclusions.

Originally, I only went with five (since that’s what the challenge was about), but now, I’ll go as far as listing 10 tracks, and that’s me doing some good ol’ wishful thinking! All listed tracks can be heard through the provided YouTube links over each of its names.

NORMAL MODE (Puyo Puyo Sun) [see description]

I like to think this is Arle’s character theme, and not so, well, that other song with the giant name. Puyo Hell, even Chronicle included a pretty darn good remix of this song that also used Pocket SUN’s higher pitch in one section. It’s that good. For this version, though? We could maybe ask for some sick instrumentalization by the mad lad Jun Senoue, maybe the rock masters of ACE+, or have someone new deliver a fresh tune into this song, like Tee Lopes, Toby Fox, or maybe even Grant Kirkhope! The sky is green, there are no rules anymore!

This is also the song I thought of first when I wondered which theme would play in her reveal trailer. And I’ll stick to that until the end.

Theme of Puyo Puyo (Puyo Puyo series) [see description]

What, you really thought I’d forget about Arle’s titular theme from her first game on purpose? Why, the nerve! ”A Long-awaited Spacetime Journey!”, aka.: “Theme of Puyo Puyo”! Of course it should be included in the game! Now, as for which version, well, I referenced the one that’s been in the game since Puyo Puyo! 15th Anniversary since it sounds fantastic, but here I was thinking that it could maybe be remixed into something more! Who knows?

Request from Puyo Puyo (Puyo Puyo) [ver. Fever☆Two]

Keeping on with themes from the original Puyo Puyo, we have this one, also known as Sticker of Puyo Puyo. This version, specifically, hails from Puyo Puyo Fever☆Two, and it’s so good of a remix, it’s pretty darn iconic! Included ever since, even! So, why not, let’s just include it as well!

Final of Puyo Puyo (Puyo Puyo) [ver. 15th Anniversary]

Whoever tells me there’s a better, more epic version of this song can head into my Twitter DMs for a healthy discussion, because I think otherwise: “Advent of Primp! Dark Prince”, or more commonly known as “Final of Puyo Puyo”. For me, this version is the ultimate one, one that deserves to be completely untouched in Smash Bros. for sure.

Area A (Puyo Puyo 2) [Original]

BUT IF WE WANT TO SPEAK ABOUT ICONIC, THEN AREA A, OF COURSE! This song would go terribly with Smash Bros., and that’s in itself what makes it so hecking great! Imagine connecting one sick KO to this track, this is how true fighting games should sound like.

Puyo Puyo FUNderworld! (Puyo Puyo Fever) [Original]

Hoo-wee, I love Puyo Puyo Fever’s aesthetic and music. But its first battle theme is quite mellow, and the Area A remix is so loud. But, this one? This one is fantastic, it’s frantic, it’s perfect for Smash Bros.! Puyo Chronicle also had fun with this song and remixed it to make it the standard boss battle theme, too!

Ready for Fever Mode! (Puyo Puyo Fever series) [see description]

I’m that kind of person who prefers the Fever Mode songs from all games. Since I can’t pick a favorite, why not compile them all into one track for one seizure-inducing mashup!

Dark Arle’s Insanity (Puyo Puyo 7) [Original]

I don’t think I could’ve included another theme that had “Arle” in the title that wasn’t this one, honestly. It’s one of the best, most iconic tracks in Puyo Puyo 7, and it uses cues from Last Decisive Battle from Puyo Puyo~n, too, so it’s a double win for me!

The Puyo Puyo Song - In-Game Version (Puyo Puyo!!) [Original]

Of course, I couldn’t just forget about Ringo! The Puyo Puyo Song is such a catchy tune from Puyo Puyo 7, and her theme in 20th Anniversary, a rendition to this track, is honestly fantastic. Hectic, frantic, but also epic and memorable! Uki uki, waku waku! Doki doki, hara hara~!

Double Trouble Finale! (Puyo Puyo!!) [Original]

I had to narrow down the epic final boss-like themes of Puyo Puyo as a series down to this one because I think something like this, playing in Smash Bros., fits the setting completely. Even more than Puyo 7′s final boss theme.

Songs that I would consider but are maybe too obscure only include Zako Battle from Madou Monogatari Saturn, because it’s just that good, but unfortunately way too short.

Lastly, since I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t explain the following: why I didn’t go for songs like Last from Puyo Puyo 2, Ultimate Legend of the Untrained Demon King, Crimson Wave!, Dimension Stage ~ Decisive Battle, or Domination, to name a few. While I do know that most Puyo Puyo fans know these songs by heart, that’s exactly the deal. I wanted to go for the most iconic tracks of the series, while also choosing the most recognizable, ones that people could quickly associate with Puyo Puyo, even if they only played a couple minutes of it. Filling the list up with only final boss themes would be sick, but alas, I decided against it.

Número 3: Spirit Battles... for next part!

... Yeah, this is where our little oddysey ends for today. I’ll come back to it with the finale when I have the chance.

Major thanks once again to the #ArleForSmash Twitter account, and to the people of the #ArleForSmash Discord server.

And, completely unexpected thanks to Apple, of all things, for having the names of the songs translated into proper phrases. Seriously, “It’s been a long time since we passed through space time!”, who approved this. “A Long-awaited Spacetime Journey!”, now that’s one hecking title.

Did you know? Of course I know his original name is Satan. But Dark Prince is so iconic, I just can’t call him any other way. It’s as simple as that. Did you also know that the Dark Prince was voiced in English by Smash Ultimate’s announcer, Xander Mobus, who also voices Joker from Persona 5? You can no longer unhear Dark Prince saying “Ravage them!” now. You’re welcome.

©SEGA. 2019.

[vapormaison]

2019 Best Vinyl Pressing 1/4: 魂のための歌 by 憂鬱

Preface: Throughout the month of December, Vapor Maison will be nominating  “BEST OF” albums of 2019. Slots will remain open for this month’s releases. Categories include Best Vaporwave Release, Best Future Funk Release, Best Re-Release (V & FF), and Best City Pop Re-Release, among others. This is one nominee for best Vinyl Press.

Author’s Note: For the writer’s ease of writing and readers ease of reading, I’ll be using the transliteration of 憂鬱:Yūutsu, and the translation of “Soul’s Song” in lieu of “魂のための歌”. I’ll maintain the Japanese track listings for easy reference. Apologies to Purity, a maiden as tedious as she is cruel.

Are the merits of a vaporwave album on vinyl even worth reviewing?

 Obviously, you’re reading a vaporwave vinyl review — creating a sort of circuit — so in the strictest sense of the word, yes, — but naturally, a follow up question must be asked by any smart music consumer. If so much of vaporwave, and by extension future funk, is centered around digital manipulation of either computer programs (vocaloid, electronic loops, midis, drum kits, etc), and pre-existing digital rips of j-pop (by definition most of future funk) — what’s the point of a vinyl press? Pressing mp3s onto vinyl is pointless — as no amount of “warmth” from a vinyl-based Hi-Fi system will ever make up for a low-quality source. What’s more, the indie releases of these tracks can make it hard to justify an expensive vinyl mastering session. In my most unfortunate purchases, I’ve had MP3s outperform certain 45s.

But sometimes, you can get just the right format, just the right mix and master, and it just makes your hifi set sing. You, as a Vaporwave/Future Funk/Chillwave/etc. enthusiast, can certainly approach the sonic repro quality of lore — that Platonic form of an “audiophile’s album”. How can I prove this? Look no further than Soul’s Song by Yuutsu. Point blank, full stop. This is the one of the rare vapor records for a true audiophile. In this next section, I’ll be giving my thoughts on the album’s tracklist. In Part 2, you can join me for a trip into Hi-Fi World for a discussion of Vapor-Vinyl’s legitimacy.

PART 1: THE MUSIC

小さい鳥 opens the album with a moody, synthetic mandolin-like twang and elegiac Vocaloid vacillations extended in a sort of melancholic embrace that brings you — willing or otherwise, into the arms of this project. The arrangement of the loops are of particular note here, with the layering of additional sonic flutters that culminate in an anti-climactic crescendo that leaves you as sad and disappointed as the album no doubt wants you to feel.

それは愛を返さありません ends up being the most “atmospheric” of all the tracks, a listening experience I’d describe as a fitting background track for a KEY visual novel — eerie, haunting monosyllabic Vocaloid chants of comprising the long, long hooks. While running at 5:24, it definitely feels longer — perhaps created by a symphonic discord between vocals and music at intermittent portions of the piece. I’d characterize this piece as the most experimental of the album, deftly playing with my expectations more than any of the others.

闇 is incredible — and without a doubt the highlight of the tape. Because it departs from the simple string looping and gives us something more — something resembling a tragic and contemplative harmony, however discordant, and one that builds into lyrically what I consider to be a genuine contemplation of spirituality and the other world — a natural place, topically, for an album titled “Soul’s Song”. A sort of hollow computerized synth also left me considering — was this song about the soul of the Vocaloid program itself?

The digitized horns, eerie synths, and what I could best classify as the crackling of amplifiers introduce the thirty-eight second interlude of 変更 and serve as the riser to the climactic shift of the EP beginning in おやすみ. This four-minute piece deftly blends electric and analog strings and brings the vocaloid program to its emotional and sonic heights, really making the high-end pop in a for a surprisingly refreshing experience.

We conclude the album with a hybrid piece ネコチャン which captures the electric energy of おやすみ, the distorted samples of 変更 and adds a fleeting feeling of warmth with that familiar sound of tennis shoes on a waxed gym floor, evoking nostalgia that never was of doldrum days in a Japanese high school. The album fades out, with our familiar vocaloid’s calling out of Neko-chan, melting away like memories.

PART 2: THE VINYL LISTENING EXPERIENCE

When re-starting this review blog in earnest over the past month or so, I made a point to get my best gear serviced. I couldn’t claim to be fulfilling my broadened duties without having a fully-serviced, properly functioning kit. One of the more essential and dreaded refurbishments was getting my KEFs over to the local stereo shop wizard for a re-foam. I’d be without my workhorses for a week: an audiophile Alexander without his binaural Bucephalus. In the meanwhile, my backup speakers — a pair of Cambridge Audio SX-50 bookshelf speakers that I use as computer monitors, stepped up to the plate as pinch hitter.

I provide this anecdote for a reason: the very afternoon I dropped my KEF’s off at the shop is also the afternoon I received my copy of Soul’s Song by Yūutsu.

Admittedly, I can’t say I was particularly hyped for this release, or very eager tor receive it in the post. The previous evening I had been sleeplessly experimenting on a DJ set of city pop for the journal’s launch party at my alma mater. I was decidedly on an upbeat, caffeine-fueled kick of positive thoughts and big dick energy. Success had triggered the dopamine receptors, and the idea of sitting down for a serious listening session of an album that many BandCamp users had dubbed as “peak sadwave” seemed like an unnecessary vibe check.

But— being a self-appointed music blogger— a craft which I imagine has real pretensions about it somewhere, I buckled —a serious listening session was attempted.

And I was utterly blown away.

***

A final word on gear. The Cambridge SX-50s — and Cambridge Audio in general— do have a bit of a cult-following among guitar enthusiasts in various audiophile spheres. I also am familiar with a listening bar in Nagoya (where I studied abroad for a semester) that uses top-shelf Cambridge Hi-Fi gear solely for Vocaloid listening sessions!

Suffice to say, I was not actively thinking about either of those two facts when I first let the needle drop, but when the twangy synthetic guitar loop and the eerie vocalic chants of それは愛を返さありません began, a sudden wave of melancholy set in and brought my mind back to a lonely winter spent in that basement bar after breaking up with my girlfriend. And to the Cambridges. At that time, I became intimately familiar with how an upbeat, poppy — sometimes even jazzy track— accompanied with Vocaloid vocals could really make those speakers sing. And it was happening right now, as I was cuddled by the warmth pouring from those drivers in spite of the cold sadness of the arrangement. That dichotomy was on full display as “Ya-aa-mi” invocations of 闇 reached its penultimate hook.

In may respects, these Cambridges were and still are petty. I had previous experience with them butchering a poor quality vinyl of the Luxury Elite/Saint Pepsi Late Night Delight EP two years ago. My KEF’s usually take it upon themselves to run cover for a bad release. Cambridge-chan couldn’t be bothered. On a bad day, with a bad play, they’ll seem like the most clinical JBL studio monitor — but here they were, absolutely singing. This album was making them slap — metaphorically. And that’s when I realized what a magical press this was.

Five days later, the KEFs were securely hooked up to my amp again. The first vinyl to be put through the paces was, of course, Soul’s Song. Again I was impressed. The exquisite layering of this album can’t be expressed enough — and while the SX-50s brought out the synthetic string and vocals to the fore, my 104s filled in the rest of the sonic picture. I felt as if I was being re-acquainted with a piece of sculpture upon viewing it from a different angle, or witnessing a church’s mosaic in person after seeing a small reproduction in a well-printed textbook. This is a pressing far and above the previous standards I’ve set for vaporwave.

***

As any Vapor Vinyl review would be incomplete without a brief take on the overallＡｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ of the release, so I’ll just start by saying that I really enjoy the three-tone front end. The lavender, beige and white undeniably make this a very “Aloe” release, who tend to make things easy on my very nearsighted eyes by never making the cover too busy. This is perhaps with the notable exception of VR 97’s recent cassette release — not a trend, I hope!

I do have to admit I’m getting a bit tired of pink vinyls, though — and Soul’s Song unfortunately now joins a very crowded pack. I suppose if you were being pedantic, you could compare the “pinkness” of the album vis a vis the 2nd pressing of Macros 82-99’s Sailorwave (fuller, more saturated), or even the “bubblegum” first pressing of Vektroid’s Floral Shoppe (just naming two iconic releases) — but I think this release would have been fine (and moved units) as, say, a picture disc — making use of the powerful, emotive cover art to its fullest extent. In short, it takes something unique and then commodifies it to the point of exhaustion. While I suppose this criticism could be leveled at all of the genres I cover— I think generally speaking Vaporwave and Future Funk (to a lesser extent) treads this line of “capitalist critique” and “modified consumption” rather adeptly.

The main thrust in the previous paragraph, I should qualify, is not a specific criticism of Aloe City Records, however — I think they’ve done a fine job generally. If I could make a list of three releases that justify a special edition vinyl — this is certainly one.

For audiophile vaporwave/chill-wave fans, I’d encourage you to snap it up while you can.  You can even buy it ethically — it’s still in stock on Aloe City’s band-camp page. It’s in my mind — without doubt — one of the best presses of the year.

[inimitble]

               the  first  thing  is,  i  do  not  own  steve  rogers  nor  do  i  have  any  affiliation  with  marvel,  the  writers  of  steve  or  chris  evans  himself.     because  believe  me  when  i  say,  if  i  did,  i  would  not  be  as  online  as  i  am.     this  blog  is  selective  and  private,  and  my  definition  is  that  i  will  not  follow  everyone  back  and  i  am  going  to  try  to  keep  a  small  following  list.      gaea  lysimachia  is  and  always  will  be  my  main  blog,  the  love  of  my  life,  and  that’s  not  changing  so  this  blog  will  be  queue - based  with  only  about  two  posts  a  day.      this  blog  is  also  multi - verse  and  ship,  so  i  look  forward  to  exploring  all  kinds  of  different  relationships  and  ideas. basics.               no  godmodding.     i  don’t  mind  steve  being  injured  but  i  do  have  a  problem  with  him  being  controlled.      i  promise  that  his  abilities  on  this  blog  will  be  more  consistent  than  they  were  when  in  the  movies  and  i  ask  that  you  bear  with  me  while  i  make  sure  that  that  happens. content.               there  is  going  to  be  mature  and  triggering  content  on  this  blog.  i  personally  have  no  triggers  but  all  triggers  will  be  tagged  with  the  formats  tw: trigger,  tw trigger  and  trigger tw.      there  will  be  nsfw  gif  sets  and  photos  and  they  will  be  tagged  with  my  personal  nsfw  tag  and  the  regular  nsfw  one. also  with  that,  this  steve  rogers  is  canon - divergent.      for  one,  the  events  of  civil  war  are  going  to  be  completely  different.      i  don’t  believe  steve  would  lie  to  tony  about  what  happened  to  his  parents  because  it  goes  against  who  he  is,  because  of  the  lies  and  what  happened  with  shield  and  hydra  and  also  because,  even  with  it  involving  bucky  and  there  being  a  lack  of  good  relationship  development  in  the  movies  between  them,  tony  is  his  friend  too.      i  am  primarily  mcu - based  but  in  this,  i’ll  be  taking  from  the  comics  and  going  with  the  plot  of  superhero  registration  (  and  bring  the  mutants  back!  ).     a  post  about  it  will  be  coming  soon. shipping.               i  ship  chemistry  more  than  anything,  although  i  also  have  my  own  favorite  pairings.     i  do  ship  stucky,  stony  and  american  airlines  (  as  well  as  steggy,  but  only  back  in  the  forties  )  and  i  personally  think  that  the  avengers  could  be  one  big  poly  family  but  i  digress.      no  matter  my  ships,  i  will  not  ship  automatically.      our  muses  will  have  to  interact  because  everyone  writers  their  muses  different.      if  there  seems  to  be  too  much  emphasis  on  shipping,  i’ll  close  it  down  and  only  ship  with  those  i’m  close  to.

psds  and  resources.      i’m  using  the  joker  from  @kingsleigh,  a  border  that  does  not  belong  to  me  and  who  i  definitely  need  to  find  again  in  order  to  credit  and  a  psd  from  tricia  (  @masterstrange  ),  one  of  the  great  loves  of  my  life  who  does  such  amazing  work  and  writing.     base  icons  come  from  buckybear  on  insanejournal!

mun.               my  name  is  djaq!  twenty - five  year  old  african  american  cis  female,  going  by  the  pronouns  she  and  her.  i  have  a  job  working  in  a  warehouse  which  means  that between  about  9:30am - 8:00pm  it’s  radio  silence,  unless  i’m  on  my  lunch  break.  i’ve  started  writing  when  i  was  twelve  on  myspace  and  i’ve  been  doing  it  on  different  platforms  since.  feel  free  to  ask  me  for  my  discord.  i  look  forward  to  talking  to  you! <3

[itsbenedict]

No Driver’s License: Session 0

Sometimes I make decisions, and I say to myself “Why did you make that decision? Why was this, of all things, the thing you decided to spend lots of time on, when you are potentially mortal and might have a limited amount of time in this universe?” I’m rarely, if ever, equipped to answer that question with anything other than a shrug.

So I started running a Madoka Magica tabletop campaign using the Magical Burst system, with some modifications to the rules (version 5 is in alpha, and also I needed to tweak a few mechanics to work with my story.) My dude Zero was relating to me his frustrations with a different PMMM tabletop campaign, and I immediately thought “damn, I can do better than that!”

(our discord’s icon. i have no idea how to credit the fanart i used to make this edit- i google image searched “kyubey” and the source for this image was someone’s themed 2048 clone).

So I called in Farn and had Zero rustle up some players from a groupchat he goes to, full of a bunch of fans of the work of Jenna Moran, and this started being a thing. (Apparently writing Cordyceps gets you a bunch of strangers eager to get on board with your creative projects! I recommend it.) I’m gonna post recaps of each session here, because I’m incapable of doing a thing and then not showing it off immediately.

Under the cut:

Magical Burst

Custom levelup system

Characters

Contracting scenes

Magical Burst

So the system I decided to use (on Zero’s rec) is called Magical Burst, and... it’s Madoka. There’s really no plausible deniability, here- the guy made a system for roleplaying in the PMMM setting, and then changed all the names around to dodge cease and desists. You have magical girls making contracts with tsukaima (incubators), fighting youma (witches), and accumulating Trauma (despair) that’ll fuck up their souls. There’s a few embellishments to keep things legally distinct, but all of it is easily ignored and the remainder repurposed as a Madoka Magica system, which is kind of the point.

The basic dice mechanic is rolling 2d6 plus a modifier. Most actions in the game that require a roll use that pattern, except they’re exploding dice if you’re doing a magic thing. 7 or less is a fail, 8+ is a normal effect, 11+ is a strong effect, and 15+ (usually in the event of rolling exploding dice) is an effect that’s stronger than intended and usually has some negative side effect. This is how it’ll go for combat rolls, out-of-combat magic actions, using talents, etc. That’s how dice do.

Custom levelup system

In standard Magical Burst, character advancement is handed out at the GM’s discretion, instead of through an experience system. Advancements can involve gaining stat points or learning new skills- but unfortunately in the alpha of version 5, all the cool specialized moves... don’t... exist yet. So apart from a couple things, the only real options would’ve been stat boosts, which, boring! Plus I have Ideas for how leveling up should interact with the narrative, so I decided to implement my own system:

The most important difference between this system and the basic Magical Burst system is that the Trauma meter has been replaced. During character creation, you have 21 Trauma Cells, which you must distribute to form a number of Trauma Tracks. These are meters that fill up over time as your characters suffer over the course of the game, and filling them is critical to character advancement. They replace the standard Trauma mechanic from Magical Burst.

Come up with a number of things that your character is upset about. Personal insecurities, life problems, character flaws- psychological weaknesses that, when attacked, darken your soul gem. These are your Trauma Tracks- one track for each one of these issues. (By no means are these the only problems your character is allowed to have, but they're the only ones that will have direct mechanical relevance.) Ignore the Bonds system in Magical Burst- Trauma points will be handed out as the situation calls for.

Player characters must have a minimum of 3 Trauma Tracks, and each Trauma Track must have a minimum of 3 Trauma Cells assigned to it. That aside, the length of those tracks is up to you- a longer track will take longer to fill, and represents an issue that simmers under the surface but doesn't yet threaten to destabilize the character. A shorter track represents an issue that's hard to ignore and is about to boil over, and will quickly become a problem for the character.

Your character's magical abilities are connected to these Trauma Tracks. When you first contract, you will have one distinct low-level magical ability for each Trauma Track you have. (MB 5e is incomplete and lacking in lists of specialized abilities, so we'll be loosey goosey here and you can just list the things you want in however much detail, and I'll figure out rules and numbers for the powers.) Generally, your starting abilities will be more powerful the fewer distinct Trauma Tracks you have, but your advancement options will be more limited.

When a Trauma Track is filled, an event will happen in the story. Once this event concludes- provided your character survives it- she will level up.

Leveling up is distinct from Magical Burst's Advancement system. I'll be handing out normal Advancements as described, but the options will be more limited- you won't be able to gain new magical Talents that way, but you can take a Tier-1 Specialization, stat boosts (with no restrictions on taking them multiple times), or custom nonmagical Talents if you have a good idea and don't mind hashing out numbers and balance with me.

Instead, when you level up, you cross off the appropriate Trauma Track, and choose one of your abilities to LOSE. In exchange, you'll receive a dot that can be spent to significantly upgrade one of your remaining abilities. Mark these dots on your character sheet- when you level up again, you'll be asked to sacrifice another ability, and if you choose to sacrifice an ability that already has dots, you'll get those dots back in addition to the new dot.

As you level up, your character will become more specialized, ultimately ending up with one powerful and potentially versatile ability that becomes the focus of their approach.

There are other side effects to leveling up this way, which will become evident.

There is a second type of character advancement, which will also become evident.

That’s direct from the document I distributed to players during character creation. In short- you have multiple experience gauges, and those fill up when your character faces something that really fucks them up emotionally. When you level up, you lose one skill and power up another skill, increasing your character’s specialization over time. 

The first time someone levels up... well, I’ll laugh maniacally about some stuff, on account of those fun side effects- and it will become evident why I structured the system this way.

Characters

I’ve got... four or five players, currently. One of them is currently having unspecified issues with character creation and didn’t participate in Session 0, and might not be participating period? I’m not sure exactly. The other four have completed character creation, and I’ve run a brief scene with each of them, going through how they contracted. Let’s meet the cast so far!

Gomu Sakura (played by @thera-prickle)

Sakura’s an excitable trans girl who wished that her childhood friend would accept her identity. She takes to the whole magical girl thing like a fish to water- at least, so far. She has three fairly long Trauma Tracks- “Fear of Female Failure”, “Isolation from Peers”, and “Escaping into Books”.

As a magical girl, Sakura’s theme is candy- her abilities include the ability to summon hard candy armor to protect herself, a Spiderman-style taffy-shooting power, and gumdrop goggles that dispel illusions and let her see the unseen. She fights with two lollipop axes, and has a magical candy mouse/mousse named Maurice.

Kazama Ibara (played by @eternalfarnham)

Ibara is a hero of justice! Except heroes of justice are frowned upon in high school, and apparently get called “delinquents”. She wished for her life to run smoothly and not bother her, and she has four Trauma Tracks: “Lifestyle of a burnout", “Disdain for “victims””, “Can’t admit to being wrong”, and “Feeling unnecessary and unloved”

Ibara’s magical powers revolve around control over friction. She skates around the battlefield like it was an ice rink, and can knock foes around like they were billiard balls. She can also disintegrate stuff by reducing the friction holding it together, and cause enemy attention to “slip” right off. She wields a Monkey King-style segmented staff, with a weighted ball on the end.

Tsutsui Makoto (played by @exceedinglight)

A cult raised Makoto- she was prophesied to be their goddess, but... you know how cults do. Kept in captivity, eventually denounced as a “fake”, abused and imprisoned... it sucked bigtime. She wished to, uh, completely wipe out said cult. It was pretty brutal. She’s got four Trauma Tracks: “Feeling alienated from “normal” people”, “Lacks basic knowledge most people would have”, “Can’t handle the spotlight”, and “Has a sense of inadequacy”.

Makoto’s kinda earth-element aligned, and a lot of her magic has to do with manipulating attention. She can make enemies focus on or ignore things, summon a stone labyrinth to hide herself and her allies in, and talk to animals.

Kotono Yukari (played by @drazelic)

(if you’re wondering why this one looks like an actual artist did it, Zero drew this one for himself.)

Yukari drew a lot of short straws. Her parents died, her friends all got claimed by Kyubey, and after a long time agonizing over it, she ended up forced to waste her wish to save her own life. She has four Trauma Tracks: “I should have done something- everything that happened was my fault.”, "My purpose here is to gather power, and this cannot become my home. I must return and fix things.”, “I am alone, a stranger in a strange land.”, “I no longer fear death, nor wish to live. I persist because my job is not done, and nothing more.” ENGAGE EDGE MODE

Yukari’s powers involve time and prophecy, and oh god this is going to be hard to GM. She can store up and distribute Support Actions, set time-delay mortar attacks, and fire bullets that disappear and then reappear to strike enemies on later turns. It’s incredibly bullshit and I can’t wait to see how it hilariously breaks the game.

Contracting scenes

Gomu Sakura

Sakura was walking home from school, when some kinda witch barrier formed around her. First, she freaked out on seeing the people around her vanish and the sky turn red and stuff- and then she went inside a building and found these fucked-up plushie snakes with evil elephant heads that tried to kill her. Somehow, this convinced her that, actually, everything was as it should be! She was in a magical otherworld faced with monsters! 

They'd almost be cute, if they weren't the size of a man, with sunken black pits for eyes. Also the trumpeting-hissing sort of sound they're making. That definitely ruins the cute.

Every book she’d ever read had taught her that this was HERO TIME, and she heroically stepped up to do battle!

This is the moment. Sakura knew, down in her bones, below the skin of rationality and the muscle of mundanity, that this would happen. The adrenaline flows. She swallows, holds her books in her hands like she is ready to throw them, and steps towards the beasts. A protagonist does not run from danger. She goes through it.

She got her ass kicked, because it turns out if you’re not a magical girl you can’t fight monsters good. Like, good effort, very cool moment, but she got pinned down pretty quick.

That’s when the Incubator showed up! It had three eyes, which was weird, but less weird than you and I would notice- it’s not like she’d met two-eyed Incubators before. It used some kind of telekinesis to blast the snelephants off her, and led her outside, where it was slightly less unsafe.

What are you doing in here?! What made you think those were safe to approach?!

Usually an Incubator has to do something to sell the target on the idea. Like, most of PMMM is about Madoka hanging around not contracting and agonizing over the decision while her friends suffer horribly in the background. It took a lot of convincing, there! With Sakura, though... the Incubator had to stop and inform her that she got to make a wish, before she went ahead and made the contract. The offer “be a magical girl and fight evil” was more than tempting enough to get her to agree immediately. Her normal life wasn’t treating her very well.

The rabbit shakes its head. I feel bad about this. It seems you have every reason to overlook the risks involved... Allow me to explain exactly what I am offering:

The three-eyed Incubator- which introduced itself as Tama-chan- did its best to try to explain to Sakura that being a magical girl was extremely dangerous, and that she could die, and that she could never go back to her normal life, and that her heart would become a magical vulnerability, and are you super sure because it doesn’t seem like you’re taking this decision very seriously-

Sakura proved impossible to dissuade- save a brief moment where she started wondering if maybe this was a Satan thing. 

Make a contract with me, and become a magical girl.

She nods. "Yes. I w---" Sakura thinks for another second. "A contract? Like. One with the devil?"

What? No, like a regular contract.

After wishing that her childhood friend Kazuya would accept her and be friends again (she’d confessed she was transgender to him earlier, and it really didn’t go over well)- she became a magical girl and went berserk on some snelephants.

Kazama Ibara

Ibara was in detention, which wasn’t unusual. What was unusual was that her teacher vanished, the sky turned red, and a snarky voice in her head challenged her to a fight. That voice turned out to be an Incubator- but it wasn’t offering a contract, so much as the opportunity to be attacked by deadly monsters- such as a tiger-sized ceramic lucky cat statue. She decided this was a bad deal, and attempted to GTFO.

"Always promised myself if I was in a -- haunted building situation, I'd go out the window, no tricks, no waiting." Without the prelude of checking the locks, she hurls a chair at the windows with a two-handed swing.

The window shatters, leaving a wide and jagged hole large enough to leap through. Wait, says the voice, suddenly alarmed. Don't do that. That's not safe, it says.

She went out the window anyway- but the Incubator found out how to make it safe- or, safe-ish. It summoned a plush snelephant on the ground outside, to break her fall- and then try to kill her. Wait, what? ...Ignoring that weird behavior, she socked the snelephant in the face and immediately ran like hell.

Then she heard another voice in her head, asking about her safety. She told it that she’s running from monsters.

Good. Keep running. I think I have your signal- I'll catch up with you in a moment. And the first voice: Where'd you go? This is lame! I had you pegged as a fighter!

Eventually she ran outside the school grounds, and found the whole city seemed to have gone witch-barrier. She also found an Incubator running directly at her- so, of course, 

"It's--it's the whole goddamn world --" Ibara almost chokes up when she sees the second cat, but aims a kick for where she anticipates it being, on pure delinquent reflex.

The kick connects, and the white cat goes flying a dozen yards. OW! CHRIST ON- why?!

After that little misunderstanding, the new Incubator- introduced as Tama-chan- helped her to fend off the other one, who’d caught up with a squad of monsters in tow. The evil incubator was named Nishi-chan, and Tama-chan offered Ibara a contract- magic powers, to help fight off Nishi-chan and her entourage. The incubators argued for a while- Nishi accused Tama of exploiting the danger to pressure a girl into a contract, and Tama accused Nishi of causing the damn danger in the first place, seriously!

After getting a picture of the risks involved in magical-girling from the Incubator’s arguments, Ibara got fed up with their bickering and insisted Tama-chan make her a magical girl. For her wish...

A wish? You want a wish? Okay, here -- I wish you and everyone else would get off my fucking back and let me DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO." She's squeezing white cat, too, a little harder than necessary. "Understand?!"

Tama-chan interpreted accordingly, and bish bash bosh, Ibara’s got magical powers. From there, we took the combat rules out for a test run- she took on two of the evil lucky cats (fun backstage fact: their name in my notes is “Waneki-neko”), and smashed them to bits. Nishi kept running, Ibara kept trying to close the distance while dispatching the monsters sent to slow her down- but eventually Tama-chan talked Ibara into finishing off the remaining monsters and disengaging.

Tsutsui Makoto

This one was pretty short. Makoto's hanging in a prison cell in the cultists’ compound, when suddenly origami archer monsters start shooting arrows at her from outside the door to her cell. She gets a good scare, but then Tama-chan shows up.

Nope! Nope! Not this! This is dumb! This is SO dumb! a high voice in her head says. There's a sound of impact, a rustling of papers, and then quiet from outside the cell.

Tama-chan waltzes into the cell, and- before talking about contracts- is very alarmed by how the girl she’d come to find is locked up like that. 

It ignores your question. Oh, wow. Your hand! They did this to you? It... does something, and the chain holding you up snaps. You fall to the floor.

Makoto falls to her knees and stays the for a moment, panting. "Yeah, they figured out I'm not the one they're looking for," she mumbles. "I'm just a fraud."

There’s a misunderstanding that happens, here- Tama-chan assumes “they” are the origami monsters, and explains that she can’t be a fake magical girl if she could see the monsters attacking her. 

After some confusion, Tama-chan gets around to offering Makoto a wish. Makoto wishes- considering that she’d spent her life locked up by a bunch of abusive cultists- to completely destroy said cult. Tama-chan... is taken aback by this.

The cat's eyes widen. This... I'm not so sure this was a good idea. This is kinda screaming... "not good idea". Are you sure your wish is mass murder? You don't want to reconsider that one?

Makoto tries to explain how the cultists made her life hell, how they deserved it, how she needs to be free- but Tama-chan is increasingly intimidated by her desperation. It’s starting to look like Makoto won’t get her wish.

That’s around when Nishi-chan drops from the ceiling, and is totally jazzed about the idea of granting her wish. And then does so.

Wait! This is wrong! the first cat says, but your body is already wracked by a force that feels like it should be pain but isn't. The cell is lit with a brilliant light. Wrong? Seriously! People are going to die! This is going too far!

"This is justice!"

Too far, Tama-chan? YOU'RE telling me we're going too far? The light fades, and you feel impossibly strong. And around you, the building is falling apart, the screams of cultists ringing loudly through the... night? Day? The time for not going too far was a long time ago, Tama-chan.

Nishi-chan- who’s more in the business of (???? a mystery ???) than babysitting new magical girls, leaves the newly-contracted Makoto to Tama-chan’s care in the wreckage of the cultists’ compound, and fucks off to who knows where. Makoto tells Tama-chan that she’s not planning on killing anyone else, and Tama-chan leads Makoto to Tokyo, where she claims she’ll be meeting with “some people I need you to meet”.

Kotono Yukari

The first three scenes took place at around the same time- a few days apart, maybe. This one takes place eighteen months ago.

We start in medias res, where Yukari has been in a horrible highway pileup. Her legs have been crushed by a semi truck, and she’s trapped and bleeding out and super duper about to die.

So, of course, who should show up but... not an Incubator?

Soon, she can see someone standing over her. "Oh god! Are you- oh, god, you're definitely not okay! Um..." You can see it's a magical girl. Her outfit is ridiculous. It's almost comical. Poofy, like a cloud. Draped head to toe in sequins. Lace sticking out every which way. You can barely make out her body underneath it. And it's all bright pink- blindingly, obnoxiously pink.

The magical girl first tries to heal her- and it works, but then the truck her legs are underneath crushes them again. Then she tries to move the truck, and can’t. She has a little bit of a freakout about how useless she is, and then runs off.

So that was kinda weird unsubtle foreshadowing for a character who’ll be relevant later!

Anyway then the Incubator shows up. It offers her a contract. Like they do. Weirdly, it’s not Kyubey, who talked to her before.

That apprehension was now gone. The spectre of worry that made apprehension had been thoroughly pushed out of her mental system by the very real fear of dying right here and right now. Any other day, that pitter-patter footstep would be the herald of uncertainty and internal turmoil. Here and now, it was the sound of hope itself.  YES! Make me a magical girl! I'm ready! I said before I was still thinking but I don't care anymore! I'm ready! Save me! Please let me live I don't want to die here not like this I have so much more to do and live for please please please!

So the Incubator’s like, okay! Here goes!

Okay! it said, and a light shone from inside your chest. ...And then faded, and you still felt trapped and human. Crap. Hang on. Your wish was... The light started again. Okay, I think I've got it. So, you're... your potential is... crap! and the light faded again. Can you hold still? No, wait, this is weird. You- why would that matter?

After some finagling and weird questions, Yukari finally becomes a magical girl. The first thing she does is check her car, and try to save her parents, drag them out of the front of the car and save them. Can you guess how this goes? You get three guesses about how this goes. Here’s a hint: did you read her backstory earlier? Because this is that backstory.

There was no front of the car anymore. It'd been completely flattened by the collapse of that truck. Even her legs had been pinned- the truck had diagonally intersected most of the car, crushed all of it but a tiny corner where Yukari had been napping against the side of the car door, there was no front of the car anymore  her parents had been sitting in the front of the car  they were going to go buy some mapo tofu. Yukari emits a wordless cry and tries to rip her way through to the front of the car, somehow. She stops when she sees the first finger. Just a finger.

You acquire one point of Trauma on "I should have done something- everything that happened was my fault."

She tries to change her wish, but... that’s not a thing you can do. Tama-chan offers to try, but- after apparently consulting some mental resource- admits it’s not possible. So she has herself a little total breakdown! Her whole life just ended! It sucks a lot!

She first decides to start helping the other people involved with the crash. She pulls a trucker out of the truck she was trapped under... and then notices, oops, she’s surrounded by witnesses who just saw her transform into a magical girl. She flees, taking the trucker to the hospital, and Tama-chan sighs and starts wiping bystanders’ memories.

And that’s it for session 0! Next time: they team up, probably! Maybe there’s a fifth character! Who knows?!