#flipped through the actual bible for reference and boy job and his buddies sure do like doing LONG MONOLOGUES

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

And Job continued his discourse:

"I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer;

I stand up, but you merely look at me.

You turn on me ruthlessly;

With the might of your hand you attack me.

All due respect, but the fuck is up with that?"

Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm:

"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?

Job, you dumb bastard;

Do you think I'm going to give any answers

To a guy who can't even make a whale?

Get the fuck outta here, scrublord!"

On another day, the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from? And also, did you really think I wouldn't spot you standing next to Gabriel and Michael? You're bright red. Come on."

Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it. And also, whose fault is it that I'm bright fucking red?"

Then the LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then. Oh, and I won our bet, so you owe me twenty bucks."

And Satan replied, "Aw, fuck, not again."