#floralcrematorium writes

[floralcrematorium]

Assorted FrUK/FACE Fam Headcanons

These are silly little thoughts I've had while drafting Migraines in Margaritaville, so these apply to the world of that AU (modern, human; FrUK parents raising NA bros in Massachusetts, US). Most of these involve food because I seem to think about them when I'm hungry???

• Francis and Arthur practice "one-parent-one-language" with the boys. Matthew took to French much easier than Alfred did, but both brothers managed to pick it up without much of a fuss. In elementary school the twins would use French to cheat on tests (they weren't allowed to sit next to each other after their schemes were discovered).

• Arthur set the grill on fire three times in one summer. Francis clearly doesn't learn from his mistakes and Arthur is too stubborn to let Francis do all of the work when it comes to preparing dinner.

• Follow up on the point above -- Arthur can prep vegetables and throw together food that doesn't require too much measuring or too many steps on the stovetop. He doesn't have the patience for most dishes and doesn't have a sense of what spices go well together/what is enough vs too much. Francis lets him help by chopping up vegetables and Arthur was usually the one to pack the boys' lunches. Sometimes they'd get leftover portions of whatever they had for dinner last night, but Arthur often defaulted to some sort of wrap with deli meat and assorted veggies/crackers for snack.

• Francis gives me similar vibes to those youtube moms who try to make homemade versions of popular American snacks. He may spend the weekdays at work in a kitchen, but on the weekends he's at home, still in the kitchen, trying to make homemade fruit leather and homemade cheese crackers for his sons.

• Arthur's the one more willing to let the boys get snacks from the store or take out. Francis is very much "we have McDonald's at home."

• Both Francis and Arthur would've been so excited to decorate the twins' nursery. They're both artistically inclined, be it in different ways. Arthur made blankets for both of them; Matthew is red and Alfred is blue. Francis paints floral designs on the furniture, in particular purple irises and both red and white roses.

• Because the twins were identical and because babies are kinda just blobs, they definitely accidentally mixed the twins up. The color coding might've come after the swap. They had a crisis about it. Francis "sacre bleu, we just gave two people permanent identity crises" Bonnefoy and Arthur "if we compare them to every picture we have of them we can figure it out" Kirkland. I'm imagining this happening before the twins have enough hair for their cowlicks to really form.

• It's tradition in the Kirkland-Bonnefoy household to have a box of Whitman's chocolates at every family party and Alfred is the reason why. One Christmas each twin got to pick out something special for the party and Alfred picked out the 22 piece Whitman sampler in the yellow box. They're not the best chocolates, but it became a tradition. Thankfully there's two layers in the box so Mattie and Al can have their own messenger boy pieces (the shaped chocolate that's the centerpiece of each layer).

• Neither Arthur or Francis have favor for one twin over the other. They both have their own activities they can do with Alfred and Matthew separately. Francis will cook and bake with Alfred and draw with Matthew. Arthur teaches Matthew to garden and watches old (by his son's standards) movies with Alfred.

• Francis is the parent the boys can come to no questions asked. Arthur isn't apathetic, but Francis is more inclined to give more thoughtful advice for relationships and general fuck-ups. He won't press on why or how something happened, but will help his sons figure out the best way to solve a problem.

• When Alfred and Mattie turned 10, Arthur wanted to teach them the importance of personal finance. He would give the boys $5 each week to spend on snacks at the grocery store (Arthur does the couponing and the shopping for the house). They were allowed to hold onto the money to use for later and could help with the couponing.

• Arthur drags the family out to Salem every Autumn. Sure, they live in Massachusetts and are well aware of how bad tourist season is, but he's fascinated with the city. Alfred initially went because he really liked this one New York style pizza shop in the Witch City Mall (how they got Francis to step foot in there, I don't know), but eventually grew interested in the witchy stuff Salem has to offer. Francis only puts up with it because the city has an art museum and weekly art fairs in the Fall. Matthew dreads their yearly trip. He loathes it. He'd rather tag along with Francis to the museum.

• Until the boys were old enough to start protesting, they had family Halloween costumes. Francis thought it was tacky, but saw the appeal when Arthur got the twins (still babies) all dressed up in lobster costumes.

[maplequeen94]

I was tagged by @piscesgirl2020 , Thank you!~

Are you named after anyone? No.

When was the last time you cried? A few weeks ago

Do you have kids? HA! No

What sports do you play/have you played? I was forced to play soccer as a kid (I was really bad at it), and I was also on a bowling league. Bowling is the only sport I actually enjoy playing.

Do you use sarcasm? Yes, mostly when I'm bitching about something

What is the first thing you notice about people? Usually how they're dressed/what's on their person. I'm usually trying to see if i can spot anything that indicates we have common interests

What's your eye color? Blue-green mix

Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies

Any talents? I can sing but I'm really anxious to do it in public

Where were you born? Wisconsin. USA

What are your hobbies? Reading, Writing, Cosplay, Watching Youtube Essays, Beachcombing, Doll Collecting

Do you have any pets? Not currently 😔, but I used to have a dog, she was a chow chow named Ginger, and a rat named Griffin

How tall are you? 4'11/150 cm (I am a smol)

Favorite subject in school? Choir

Dream job? Folklorist, I specifically am interested in studying how folklore and urban legends have evolved in the modern era, especially in the internet age.

I tag: @spidertalia @irlusa @9pilkytf @koolkat9 @floralcrematorium

@disneyprincessdxminatrix

[icebear4president]

Thanks for the tag @piscesgirl2020!

Are you named after anyone? Nope! Just some random name they picked, I guess

When was the last time you cried? Last week when a book emotionally devastated me.

Do you have kids? No, and not planning on having any.

What sports do you play/have you played? I did 13 years of tap, ballet, and jazz, karate for a few years, and archery that I still do to this day.

Do you use sarcasm? Yep!! A lot actually, but never in a hurtful way and usually only with my friends.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Mannerisms, especially in how they interact with others around them.

What's your eye color? Very dark brown, with a little bit of green sprinkled in there.

Scary movies or happy endings? Horror is my favorite genre in books and movies, and I binge scary movies multiple times.

Any talents? Um, probably reading comprehension skills and literature analysis. Writing I think. I’m also a level 8 pianist and can play the bass drum.

Where were you born? In a small city in a very hot and humid place.

What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, astronomy, and rock collecting.

Do you have any pets? One kitty who lives inside with me, and five others outside. I would die for all of them.

How tall are you? Five feet five inches.

Favorite subject in school? English, history, and science.

Dream job? As of now, I’m still in college, but I would love to be able to get a job in the Geology department at NASA in Houston!

Tagging @i-have-dots-in-my-brain @heta-micronomics @floralcrematorium @bone-evidence and anyone else who wants to join!

[floralcrematorium]

Fall Out Boy lyrics that make me want to write fics because I'm unhinged and always thinking about middle-aged gay men ᵇʸ ᶠᵃˡˡ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵇᵒʸ

Take This To Your Grave

• "And I can't forget your style or your cynicism" - Homesick at Space Camp

From Under The Cork Tree

• "Why don't you show me a little spine you've been saving for his mattress, love" Dance, Dance

• "Can I lie in your bed all day? I'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake" - Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

• "I found the cure to growing older and you're the only place that feels like home" - I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me

• "I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends and I am sorry my conscious called in sick again and I've got arrogance down to a science" - I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me

• "So douse yourself in cheap perfume, it's so fitting, so fitting of the way you are" - I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me

• "I used to obsess over living, now I only obsess over you. Tell me you'd like boys like me better, in the dark lying on top of you" - Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows)

• "I'm casually obsessed and I've forgiven death. I am indifferent yet (I am a total wreck)" - The Music Or The Misery

• "I'm every cliché, but I simply do it best" - The Music Or The Misery

Infinity On High

• "I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light" - Hum Hallelujah

• "We're so miserable and stunning... Love songs for the genuinely cunning" - The Carpal Tunnel Of Love

• "Best friends, ex-friends to the end, better off as lovers, and not the other way around" - Bang The Doldrums

• "Do you remember the way I held your hand? Under the lamp post and ran" - I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers

Folie à Deux

• "Say my name and his in the same breath, I dare you to say they taste the same" - I Don't Care

• "Does your husband know the way that the sunlight gleams from your wedding band?" - Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet

• "I will never end up like him, behind my back I already am" - What A Catch Donnie

• "My head's in heaven, my soles are in hell. So let's meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well" - w.a.m.s.

Save Rock And Roll

• "I don't know where you're going, but do you got room for one more troubled soul?" - Alone Together

• "You and me are the difference between real love and the love on T.V." - Where Did The Party Go?

• "Anything you say can and will be held against you, so only say my name, it will be held against you" - Just One Yesterday

• "I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way" - Just One Yesterday

• "But even though my eyes closed, I still see you. I just hope that when you see me, I'm not see-through" - The Mighty Fall

• "I wanna see your animal side, let it all out. Oh there you go, undress to impress. You can wear the crown, but you're no princess" - Death Valley

• "Oh, c'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered" - Young Volcanoes

American Beauty/American Psycho

• "She's in a long black coat tonight, waiting for me in the downpour outside. She's singing, baby come home, in a melody of tears, while the rhythm of the rain keeps time" - Jet Pack Blues

• "You are my favorite 'what if,' you are my best 'I'll never know'" - Fourth of July

• "I wish I'd known how much you loved me, I wish I cared enough to know" - Fourth of July

• "The torture of small talk with someone you used to love" - Fourth Of July

MANIA

• "You are the sun and I am just the planets spinning around you" - The Last Of The Real Ones

• "I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me" - The Last Of The Real Ones

• "I got too high again, realized I can't not be with you or be just your friend" - HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T

• "There is nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you" - Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)

• "If you were church, I'd get on my knees" - Church

So Much (For) Stardust

• "You were the sunshine of my lifetime, what would you trade the pain for?" - Love From The Other Side

• "Part-time soulmate, full-time problem" - Hold Me Like A Grudge

• "I will never ask you for anything, except to dream sweet of me" - Heaven, Iowa

• "I like playing dumb, letting you figure me out" - I Am My Own Muse

• "I've got all this love I've got to keep to myself. All this effort to make it look effortless" - Flu Game

• "Self-sabotage at best, under your spell" - Baby Annihilation

• "I think I've been going through it and I've been putting your name to it" - So Much (For) Stardust

• "In another life, you were my babe. In another life, you were the sunshine of my life" - So Much (For) Stardust

• "I used to be a real go-getter, I used to think it'd all get better" - So Much (For) Stardust

[floralcrematorium]

Migraines in Margaritaville - Prologue

Words: 2,367

Updates: Weekly or bi-weekly, TBD

Characters: America, Canada, France, England, Japan, Ukraine, and others mentioned in passing

Ships: Ameripan, CanUkr, FrUK

Alfred F. Jones is an up and coming Youtuber whose channel recently got its lucky break. Matthew Williams is a pro hockey star looking to reunite with his brother. Reminiscing for the good times, this pair of brothers embark on a trip across the continental United States (and Canada) to become the third and fourth people to have their lives changed by one man and one man only: Jimmy Buffet. However a diet of fried foods, a one-sided sibling rivalry, and the cramped confines of a 2015 Subaru forester are the key ingredients in a recipe for disaster.

This is a human AU fic that takes place in 2023 with occasional flashback memories to Alfred and Matthew’s childhood. It is also heavily inspired by Eddy Burback and Ted Nivison’s Margaritaville videos.

The prologue to my "first" fic is officially up! I haven't written for Hetalia in a number of years, so I'm excited to get back into it!

I hope you enjoy!

[floralcrematorium]

Bang The Doldrums is THE FrUK Fall Out Boy song... Hear me out

I think of it from Arthur's perspective at Francis.

"I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm When you passed out I couldn't bring myself to call Except to call it quits"

I'm imagining Arthur and Francis in a terrible on-again-off-again situation. It's awkward. Tension is high but they're pulled back to one another continuously. Arthur has a hard time talking about their situationship, and as much as he doesn't want to, he's able to finally say something when it's time to call it quits. Also the idea of Francis owning lipstick is something I hold dear.

"Best friends, ex-friends 'til the end Better off as lovers and not the other way around Racing through the city, windows down In the back of yellow checkered cars"

I think a good way to describe FrUK is "best friends - ex-friends." Ultimately their relationship is one of enemies, frenemies, or what have you, but I like to think that their relationship overall is a rollercoaster ride. They can have good moments of clarity where they're together playing whatever drinking game. However they're also bitter enemies and the two of them are just full of spite. A constant battle of back and forth. However the middle ground is lovers. Is it better to be lovers? Better to be together and crazy for another and not the other way around? While there can be strenuous moments, maybe the good times with Francis are enough for Arthur to have a moment to be carefree.

"This city says, "Come hell or high water" Well, I'm feeling hot and wet I can't commit to a thing Be it heart or hospital"

There's a lot of tension spurred lust in this relationship. That's all I have to say about that. However I think neither of them can really commit to to the relationship, especially Arthur. I think typically he's a man who doesn't know when to give up (in a detrimental way), however with Francis, the uncertainty of allowing himself the vulnerability of being ensnared in a game of hearts is what gets him. I think to a degree, it's hard for Francis to commit in the way that there are people who could treat the both of them better. Both of them are honestly a little lost in the security of someone they've known for so long, they know so well, and who they know will just leave them hurt and broken hearted again. And yet... They're drawn back together.

"The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved They knew it was over, they just didn't know the date"

The tombstone references the end of their relationship. I love graveyard imagery and the notion of mortality, so that's a personal bias. Anyway, going back to the first verse about Arthur being able to call only to call it quits -- I think the uncertainty of their relationship and when this on-again-off-again game will end plays into "what is the final nail in the coffin?" questioning.

"And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me The same way I think of you This is a love song in my own way Happily ever after below the waist"

I think taking "I cast a spell over the west" literally with the sense that England has... mage or magic abilities is a little silly, but it could work! I think it could also just refer to wit, charm, or manipulation? I like to think that with FrUK, it's a mutually obsessive relationship. Neither of them are particularly healthy about how much they think about the other. Whatever this back and forth game is what Arthur's used to. Bringing Francis down to his level is the love song? Anyway, "happily ever after below the waist" is exactly what it sounds like. Even if Arthur's called it off, they're back together again.

Better off as lovers... not the other way around

[floralcrematorium]

Part One of Framano Comfort Fic!

@hetalia-rarepairweek | Day 2 | Comfort

Words: 3,988

Characters: France & South Italy

Ships: Framano

Francis, 29, finds it easier to care for others than it is to tend to his own needs. Lovino, 25, never understood his own worth due to his brother's expansive shadow. A year past the beginning of their romantic endeavors, it's clear both parties have some personal issues they need to work out. Luckily, they have a partner uniquely situated to handle their quirks.

This fic was inspired and based on my RP partner and I's Framano "artist and muse" AU!

[floralcrematorium]

─── ♔─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───♔ ───

Hey, y'all can call me Soph! Unbelievably wordy and not beating the AUDHD allegations This blog operates on a queue when I'm too busy to post, so if you're seeing a spam of posts all at once, that means I'm active!

About Soph:

☆ 21↑ ☆ they/them ☆ Hetalia Veteran (2014-2018 & 2023-) ☆ Illustrator and Writer ☆ Avid fan of FOB, MCR, and a fledgling goth ☆ Always thinking about Francis Bonnefoy. My other faves include HWS China and HWS Norway ☆ Always open to making new friends, so long as you're 19+! Minors are NOT welcome in my DMs

What I Do:

☆ Digital and traditional illustration. You can find my Hetalia work under the tag #floralcrematorium art ☆ Humanverse fanfic focusing largely on the NA bros and FACE family dynamic. Am I compensating for my own strained familial relationships? Maybe! You can find me on A03 and under the tag #floralcrematorium writes ☆ Character playlists with songs that remind me of each character, not so much music I think they'd listen to found at this masterpost and under the tag #floralcrematorium music ☆ Reblogs and occasional rambles. I don't make much sense around these parts, so get used to nonsensical ramblings

Masterposts

☆ Character Playlists ☆ Fic Masterpost ☆ Hetalia Fandom Nostalgia

edited 9/30/2023

[floralcrematorium]

trying to go look at the Margaritaville menus so I can continue writing Chapter 2 of MIM, and man I still can't believe I have to actually work Jimmy Buffet's death into my Hetalia fanfiction

PSA to never give your fic real world timestamps before the actual date arrives. I am paying the consequences so now there's gonna be actual Hetalia content where Alfred, Matthew, and Kateryna pour a cold one out for Jimmy Buffet

anyway i have a whole spreadsheet planning out who orders what and when

[floralcrematorium]

Migraines in Margaritaville - Chapter 1

Words: 5,515

Chapter Summary:

Alfred makes his way up to Kirkland, Quebec, a small city outside of Montreal to meet with his brother. Having not seen each other for several years, there's some reacquainting to be done as they embark on their cross-country road trip.

Fic Summary:

Alfred F. Jones is an up and coming Youtuber whose channel recently got its lucky break. Matthew Williams is a pro hockey star looking to reunite with his brother. Reminiscing for the good times, this pair of brothers embark on a trip across the continental United States (and Canada) to become the third and fourth people to have their lives changed by one man and one man only: Jimmy Buffet. However a diet of fried foods, a one-sided sibling rivalry, and the cramped confines of a 2015 Subaru forester are the key ingredients in a recipe for disaster.

This is a human AU fic that takes place in 2023 with occasional flashback memories to Alfred and Matthew’s childhood. It is also heavily inspired by Eddy Burback and Ted Nivison’s Margaritaville videos.

[floralcrematorium]

Last Line Tag!

Thanks for the tag! @icebear4president

I've jumped back into working on the Framano comfort fic. This is the part I'm currently editing and I'm not sure if it'll stay in by the end! They're having a picnic and Lovi's head is in Fran's lap.

Tagging @thegoliathbeetle and @maplequeen94 (no pressure of course!). If anyone else wants to show off what they're working on, jump in!!

[floralcrematorium]

god. AT LONG LAST

FRAMANO PART 1 DRAFT IS FINALLY COMPLETE AT 3.8K WORDS

AGH.

it's gonna be a two part fic. it was from rarepair week day 2 "comfort" and part one has francis comforting lovino and part two is the reverse

now whether it's good or not is a different story. we'll find out tomorrow after people've poked around at my doc and i look at it again with fresh eyes. if we're lucky, it's going up tomorrow afternoon, if not, Wednesday for sure!!!!

nothing like being a month late to rarepair week :,)

[floralcrematorium]

cracked open my last mike's hard lemonade to write the next chapter of Migraines in Margaritaville

there's no way i can't acknowledge Jimmy Buffet's death in the fic when they'll be 3/4th of the way through the trip on September 2nd according to my notes doc. this is your PSA to never give your fics real life timelines skjdlka

thank you to all the mutuals who came into my dms this morning with the news. i guess i'm officially the hetalia fandom's Margarita Man

anyway, time to drink a strawberry-lime mike's for Jimmy and begin to emotionally destroy Alfred F. Jones. slowly.

[floralcrematorium]

floralcrematorium HetaFics Masterpost

updated: 9/30/2023

☆ Migraines in Margaritaville

Three weeks, two brothers, and one road trip across the continental U.S. and Canada. The tale of how a diet of fried foods, a one-sided sibling rivalry, and the cramped confines of a 2015 Subaru forester are the key ingredients in a recipe for disaster.

TAGS: Humanverse, HWS America, HWS Canada, NA Brothers, Ameripan, Canukr, Youtube AU

☆ I'll Always Stay

Francis, 29, finds it easier to care for others than it is to tend to his own needs. Lovino, 25, never understood his own worth due to his brother's expansive shadow. A year past the beginning of their romantic endeavors, it's clear both parties have some personal issues they need to work out. Luckily, they have a partner uniquely situated to handle their quirks.

Inspired by a RP AU.

TAGS: Humanverse, HWS France, HWS South Italy, Framano, Rare Pair Week 2023, Comfort, Angst

☆ The Escapists (coming soon)

On a nostalgic visit to an old family home in the mountains, Kateryna is out hunting for winter provisions. Instead of a deer, she catches Matthew.

TAGS: Humanverse, HWS Ukraine, HWS Canada, Canukr, Rare Pair Week 2023 Day 1 and 2

[floralcrematorium]

thank you @thegoliathbeetle for the tag!!

Rules: share a sentence or two from a wip - recent or old - that you are proud of and tag 5 people to continue. anyone who wishes to join, feel free as well.

But what if I share two wips instead? Oh? Oh?

CanUkr oneshot:

Kateryna takes her tea plain. The longer it steeps, the better. On the contrary, Matthew allows an irredeemable amount of the amber sweetener to pour into his mug.

Framano Comfort pt2:

If he wanted Francis to actually eat dinner beyond a meager amount to support him, the healthy dash of crushed pepper Lovino preferred had to be severely reduced. If anything, the cream he’s added to the sauce will cut back the heat. While it wasn’t something Lovino couldn’t fix with a dash of spice to his own plate, Francis sure as hell was lucky he was pretty.

Tagging @icebear4president & whoever wants to hop in!

[floralcrematorium]

part of my writing process includes repeatedly slamming my head on my desk followed by floor time and wikipedia rabbitholes. it's integral to the process and i will not be taking feedback at this time