#fluffpuffandstuff

[caepaecaesurae]

> CC : Write a naughty article with your moirail

> Writing a pale article with your moirail had many upsides -- both getting to collaborate with them on a mutual interest, and the way that occasionally in the middle of writing an unrelated section their cursor would suddenly jump up to the "Examples" segment and start typing out endearments.  And, of course, the way they blushed when you did the same.  There were many surprising hazards as well, of course, particularly when your moirail was Cronus Caesurae Ampora.  There were the double entendres, vetoed with a simple lowercase "no" and eventually fixed on his behalf, and among them was the final word -- literally.  The byline had started out as two simple lines :

    TWINLIFE VANTAS, THE SIGNLESS and     You can sign your own name dear.

> This was a mistake.

> Over the course of several minutes, Caesurae's signature changed to (in order):

Caesurae Ampora, former Orphaner

Caesurae Ampora, Caterer

Caesurae Ampora, Merchant Captain

Caesurae Ampora, Eldritch Caterer

Captain Caesurae Ampora

Captain Caesurae Ampora, who cannot sign his own name dear

Captain Caesurae Ampora

Captain Caesurae Ampora, Layabout

Captain Caesurae Ampora

and, finally,

Captain Caesurae Ampora, Romance Enthusiast

> ... Close enough.

ML: This will do

CC: I adore you, let me knowv wvhen my next apology is due.

ML: Honestly it's making me smile

CC: Same :)

ML: Are we done my love?

CC: I think so.

[deterministpalindrome]

==> Pal: At the same time, die on the outside.

deterministpalindrome 2park2 ii2 there room on your afterliife floor becau2e ii am joiiniing you

geminidoomed II wiill 2hare my afterliife floor wiith you what happened

deterministpalindrome ml and cn want two do the diirty talk artiicle ii am goiing two diie

geminidoomed oh my 2hiit thii2 ii2 goiing two driive me two driink II know iit

deterministpalindrome plea2e take me wiith you /he'2 exciited two do iit 2park2/ /ii've had tea wiith hiim and chatted about goat2 ii don't need thii2 iin my liife/

geminidoomed oh no

deterministpalindrome what do ii even 2ay?????????????????????

geminidoomed II mean you cant 2ay no he would make the 2ad face pal

deterministpalindrome /ii know and ii hate thii2/ he would and ii know iit and what have ii done two de2erve thii2

geminidoomed II blame our anon

deterministpalindrome make my corp2e party lovely 2park2. ii'm goiing two giive the fuckiing 2iignle22 permii22iion two wriite about diirty talkiing.

geminidoomed come joiin me on the floor whiile we contemplate everythiing that brought u2 two thii2 poiint

deterministpalindrome 2park2 we're goiing two have two read iit. we're goiing two have two look iit over.

geminidoomed oh god

deterministpalindrome ii'm not goiing two 2urviive thii2 where ii2 your floor at 2peciifically

geminidoomed 2erver block, but we can move iit 2omewhere el2e

deterministpalindrome no no 2erver block 2eem2 fiine that way no one wiill iinterrupt and make u2 an2wer why

geminidoomed briing 2omethiing two eat II've forgotten

deterministpalindrome gladly

[courtinggrievances]

Today at 1:35 AM

ardentlychevied skirts and dresses help tho togas if ur feline furrisky just as a hi

courtinggrievances SHIT, YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A GODAMN PUSHER ATTACK. WHO THE FUCKTRUCK ARE YOU.

ardentlychevied whoops ;33 you can call me atten! and i just thought id say hi with some fun info!

courtinggrievances ATTEN.

courtinggrievances HOW IS THAT PRONOUNCED? LIKE THE BEGINNING OF ATTENTION, OF WHICH MINE YOU HAVE GRABBED SO WHOLEHEARTEDLY?

ardentlychevied yup!!!! normally its only spelled with one t but im extra af

courtinggrievances THAT'S FINE. MY T KEY IS FUCKY ANYWAY AND LIKES TO DOUBLE T'S. SOOOOO..... IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANTED, OR....

ardentlychevied so no purroblem!

courtinggrievances DON'T THINK I DON'T NOTICE THE CAT PUNS. YOU'RE A LEIJON, AREN'T YOU.

ardentlychevied ;33c

courtinggrievances WHAT GENERATION?

ardentlychevied well i mean were not the only ones who mews them but yeah

ardentlychevied ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dont exactly have access to general records and tbh i couldnt be bothered to care??? theyre purrobably dead anyway so?

courtinggrievances NO, YOU'RE NOT, BUT THE GENERAL AIR OF HOW YOU ACT ISN'T LIKE A CASUAL STROLL DOWN INTO THE CATNIP PARLOR. IT'S LIKE NEPETA HERSELF DRAGGED ME TO THE FOREFRONT OF A PARADE DEDICATED ENTIRELY TO CATNIP AND ALL THINGS FELIDAE.

ardentlychevied well theres pawlways fun to be had a purrades right? so in that case! youre welcome ;33

courtinggrievances NO. PARADES ARE TERRIBLE. ANYWAY; ARE YOU THE OLDER ONE, WHO TRAVELED TO SEE ME FROM THE KIDDIE STORIES OF OLD? OR THE ONE YOU NEVER SEE AROUND? OR ARE YOU THE YOUNGER ONE INFATUATED WITH THE BULLSHIT DRIVEL ONE CALLS """SHIPPING""".

ardentlychevied wow furst of all we dont talk about those days they nefur happened okay secondly i have no idea! thirdly does it really matter????

courtinggrievances CONSIDERING THAT YOU MESSAGED ME OUT OF NOWHERE URGING ME TO WEAR A *TOGA*, YES? IT MATTERS TO ME. A LOT. BUT WHATEVER. I DIGRESS.

ardentlychevied but im not furshly pupated if thats the issue????

courtinggrievances AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT OUT TO CAUSE BODILY OR EMOTIONAL HARM, I *GUESS* YOU'RE ALRIGHT.

ardentlychevied mmmm thats fair

ardentlychevied gasp!!!! how kind of u im so glad i passed ur rigorous scr33ning purrocess but eh i think i followed u like a month ago and then purromptly fucked off halfway into a blackhole where my net completely died

courtinggrievances YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED. YOU'RE STILL SITTING IN THE QUEUE. TAKE A NUMBER. IS IT BELOW FIFTY? IT'S THE WRONG NUMBER. TAKE ANOTHER ONE.

ardentlychevied so i decided why wait to say hi since theyre pawlready posts?

courtinggrievances THAT EXPLAINS WHY I DON'T REMEMBER SEEING YOU FOLLOW ME IN RECENT DAYS.

ardentlychevied wait is this the line line or the line to get into the line??? ye kinda had some technical difficulties its b33n handled tho so no purroblems

courtinggrievances THIS IS THE LINE TO GET INTO THE GODAMN BUILDING OF MY PATIENCE. YOUR NUMBER IS THE NUMBER WHERE YOU'LL MEET UP WITH MY RECEPTIONIST. SHE'LL SCHEDULE YOU DOWN FOR SOME TIME NEXT WEEK, WHERE YOU'LL RECIEVE THE NUMBER TO GET INTO THE LINE WAITING FOR THE LINE.

courtinggrievances FROM THERE YOU'LL WAIT, AND WAIT, ADRIFT IN THE SEA OF PATIENCE, UNTIL I CALL YOUR NUMBER AND YOU BETTER PRAY THAT IT'S THE RIGHT ONE, BECAUSE IF THE SEVEN DIGIT NUMBER IS EVEN ONE DIGIT OFF, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE DAMN THING AGAIN.

ardentlychevied uuuuuugh that so gross and bureaucratic

courtinggrievances TIME IS A RESOURCE.

ardentlychevied cant i just like pick the lock to your window while youre gloating ofur the hoard of confusing lines uve made these other poor poor trolls wait in???

courtinggrievances ONE I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE. WHILE YOU'RE WAITING, I HAVE A WHOLE SLEW OF SHIT *I* NEED TO WORK ON. I'LL BE SO PRODUCTIVE IT'LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN WATCHING ME THROUGH THE GLASS. AND NO!! YOU CAN'T JUST **PICK THE LOCK**. YOU HAVE TO WAIT LIKE EFURYONE ELSE.

ardentlychevied boo! why not! !!!!! ill wait in one line and no more!

courtinggrievances FINE. ONE LINE. BUT MY DOOR ONLY OPENS ONCE A CYCLE. AND THAT'S WHEN I HAVE TO TAKE A COFFEE BREAK AND DELVE INTO THE HATCH FOR THE FOOD INTAKE OF THE DAY. SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE WAITING A LONG-ASS TIME FOR THAT DOOR TO OPEN.

ardentlychevied can we bump me up to the furont of the line if i bring food so u dont even have to leave????

courtinggrievances THAT DEPENDS ON THE QUALITY OF THIS FOOD AND IF YOU BROUGHT THE LATEST EDITION OF FLUFFPUFFANDSTUFF MAGAZINE. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING WITHIN FIVE FEET OF THE DOOR IF THE FOODS COLD.

ardentlychevied excuse??? do i s33m like that kind of amateur?????? rude af itll be both top notch and home made and!!!!!

courtinggrievances AND?

ardentlychevied ill even bring u pawll these coff33 beans that i nefur use but pawlways have

courtinggrievances THE ONES COVERED IN CHOCOLATE?

ardentlychevied yes wait do you like dark chocolate?

courtinggrievances I LIKE BOTH KINDS. BUT LISTEN.

ardentlychevied :??

courtinggrievances IF YOU BRING UP THE ONES WITH MACADAMIA NUTS MIXED IN, I'LL GET YOU A VIP PASS TO MY OFFICE.

ardentlychevied done

courtinggrievances BUT YOU HAVE TO GET ME COFFEE WHENEVER I NEED IT.

ardentlychevied gosh should i wear a cute secretaries outfit too?????? ill get u coff33 but only if you can get rid of the bounty on my head :33

courtinggrievances NO, THAT'S BORDERING ON GROSS. HAH! THE JOKES ON YOU. I HAVE A BOUNTY ON **MY** HEAD TOO!!

ardentlychevied gasp!!!!!! who would have guessed!!!!

ardentlychevied so it looks like you wont be getting the leijon purremium coff33 survice but ill still bring you the coff33 beans i have fur grinding anyway fur funsies

courtinggrievances FINE, ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. WE'RE DONE WITH THIS. THIS IS DONE NOW.

ardentlychevied im so purrod u did it u passed my test of not being painfurlly boring congrats!!!

courtinggrievances WHY WOULD I BE PAINFULLY BORING.

ardentlychevied so whats up on your end of the net???

courtinggrievances I'M KARKAT "EXCITEMENT" VANTAS, OBVIOUSLY.

ardentlychevied clearly!

courtinggrievances MY END OF THE NET IS FILLED WITH SOLLUX WANTING TO GET COMPLETELY NAKED AND LOUNGE AROUND IN NOTHING, THINKING THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. KANAYA DECIDED TO JOIN US TODAY ON THIS HELLSITE. I NEED TO EAT SOMETHING YET. WE'RE MOVING ON WITH MOVING IN A FEW HOURS, WHEN DAYBREAK COMES. THAT'S ABOUT IT.

ardentlychevied eating is important you should do that

ardentlychevied im biased on the naked and fur33 bit so maybe dont swing that my way beclaws my answer will pawlways be 'be as naked as pawsible' and why the move???

courtinggrievances YEAH? NO SHIT. TO THE EATING THING.

ardentlychevied or are u the shifty type like me????

courtinggrievances THERE ARE THINGS JUST A *TAD* BIT MORE IMPORTANT. LIKE MAKING SURE WE'RE NOT BEING AMBUSHED BY THE EMPIRE. AND THAT SHOULD ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, WOW, LOOK AT THAT!!

ardentlychevied fair gosh youre so good at this!!!! im so supurr impurressed!!!!!

courtinggrievances DON' PATRONIZE ME. DON'T.*]]

ardentlychevied u planetside or nah?

courtinggrievances THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

ardentlychevied i mean i dont know what else you expect with that hardcore sarcasm but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and thats fair how abt something slightly less incriminating/dangerous you caught up on anything new??? like shows or books or smth?

courtinggrievances NO. WE'VE BEEN GONE FOR A PERIGEE NOW. NOT A LOT OF TIME TO "CATCH UP" ON POPULAR NEWS BAIT

ardentlychevied mmm i know that f33l

courtinggrievances GO BOTHER SOLLUX FOR A WHILE. I'M GOING TO TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP IN BEFORE DAYBREAK.

ardentlychevied nah i dont think i will but have a nice rest! goodlight karkat!

courtinggrievances WHY NOT. HE'S A PERFECTLY BOTHER-WORTHY INDIVIDUAL.

ardentlychevied true!!!

courtinggrievances AND WE'RE A PACKAGE DEAL. IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM, YOU DON'T LIKE ME. SO THAT'S MORE INCENTIVE FOR YOU TO BOTHER HIM.

ardentlychevied i nefur said i dont like him!

courtinggrievances I HIGHLY RECOMMEND JUST SENDING HIM "BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!!" OR SOMETHING TO THAT EXTENT.

ardentlychevied im just not good at doing what im told ;33

courtinggrievances THAT MUST BE TERRIBLE FOR YOU. GOODLIGHT, ATTEN.

ardentlychevied rest well!

[amourete-blog1]

Who is TGM? I have seen them mentioned a lot but I don't know who this is sorry! :c

TGM is “Trolls Gone Mild”. (([linked ooc because felide is full of spite])) They’re a “pale magazine” that spews enough imperial bullshit to brainwash trolls for another 6 millennia.

... Maybe I’m giving them too much credit. Make that 5 millennia.

They’re sponsored by the empire, and as such, their content is “empire-approved.” This means it’s chock-full of bullshit that harms several groups of trolls and completely unrepentant. Their views on quadrants in general, especially pale, are disgusting at best and downright dangerous at worst. And if that isn’t enough, when they get reports of people doing things that might be against the law? They sell them out to the authorities.

If you’re going to read their shit - not recommended - understand that everything you’re reading is pretty much always the opposite of what you should be believing.

Honestly? If you want a pale magazine, @fluffpuffandstuff is far superior.

[deterministpalindrome]

==> Pal: Die on the inside.

martyrslegacy Pardon the boldness, but were you looking for authors for that piece?

deterministpalindrome ...whiich one there'2 been a couple a2ked for

martyrslegacy The one on 'dirty talk' (:B My moirail and I are interested in tackling that one

deterministpalindrome oh are you that'2 unexpected

martyrslegacy It should be a lot of fun!

deterministpalindrome ii have no doubt. let me go check wiith my comod over there and 2ee what he thiink2 yeah iit look2 liike iit'll be fiine and 2tuff. you'll have two 2ubmiit iit 2o we can look iit over and 2ee iif iit work2 well wiith everythiing el2e on that blog but knowiing you iit probably wiill

martyrslegacy (:B Excellent! Thank you for letting us do this, I'll have it to you as soon as possible.

deterministpalindrome yeah iit'2 not a problem =] take your tiime and 2tuff yeah?

martyrslegacy Its been some time since I've written a piece! And certainly not one that isn't political.

deterministpalindrome ngl iit'2 goiiing two be iintere2tiing two read

martyrslegacy (:B I'll get right to that then! Talk to you soon

deterministpalindrome have a good niight =]