#for SU i have so much admiration in the music department! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

96thdayofrage · 3 years

Link

It was the mid-1980s, and African American rock ‘n’ roll, R&B and blues musician and activist Daryl Davis had just finished performing a set with his band in a bar in Frederick, Maryland.

As he left the stage, a White man—who would later reveal himself to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan—went up to Davis, put his hand around his shoulder and expressed his approval and admiration for his performance. “This is the first time I heard a Black man play piano like Jerry Lee Lewis,” he told Davis after they exchanged pleasantries. Surprised with the statement, Davis quickly replied, “Well, where do you think Jerry Lee Lewis learned how to play that kind of style? . . . He learned it from the same place I did: Black blues and boogie-woogie piano players.” The White man was in disbelief and refused to accept Davis’ proposal.

Hearing about this incident on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast made me realise that I had been just as ignorant and oblivious as this man about the extent of the artistic contributions of Black people to American music. The moment also sparked within me many questions about my state of ignorance. Why did I not know about these artists? How much more did I not know? How much of the music I listened to was indeed Black?

As an Indian girl growing up in Kuwait in the 2000s, my exposure to American popular music came primarily through television channels like MTV Arabia (the Middle Eastern iteration of MTV) and MBC (Middle East Broadcasting Center) as well as the radio station Radio Kuwait FM 99.7. Hit singles from a range of American artists, including Black artists, were in heavy rotation along with other shows. My favourite was an MTV show called ‘Rewind’ which played classic pop, R&B and hip hop hits from the previous decades. Songs were played in cars and at parties and hummed in classrooms by local as well as expatriate teens of various nationalities who, like myself, were unaware of the cultural and historical backstories of the music.

For example, I heard of Elvis Presley, dubbed the “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” on television shows and news media due to his iconic status, but until recently, I had no idea that Presley was profoundly influenced by and “borrowed” from Black blues, gospel and rhythm ‘n’ blues artists of and before his time. He was influenced by radio performances of then local Black disc jockeys like B. B. King (who later came to be known as the “King of the Blues”) and Rufus Thomas (who also became a successful recording artist) and by performers at the Black nightclubs he visited during his teenage and young adult years.

Furthermore, I only recently learnt that many of Presley’s early recordings were covers of original songs by Black artists and that some of his biggest-selling songs like ‘Don't Be Cruel’ and ‘All Shook Up’ were penned by a Black musician by the name of Otis Blackwell. In fact, the first time I heard about it was last year in a YouTube video of a speech that Michael Jackson gave in 2002. While facts like this have now become somewhat common knowledge for most people in the West, my lack of awareness of Blackwell and others like him may be the residual effect of a time in the United States’ past when racial segregation permeated every aspect of life, including music and entertainment.

Dr Portia K. Maultsby is a renowned ethnomusicologist and professor emerita at the Department of Folklore and Ethnomusicology at Indiana University and the founder of the university’s Archives of African American Music and Culture. Maultsby took up the study of African American popular music traditions in the 1970s when there was no one looking into it as a valid area of research. She explains that segregation ensured that White Americans remained ignorant of Black musical traditions.

“Due to the segregated structure of the country for years and years, White Americans were kept away from the sounds of Black music,” Maultsby says. During this time, many Black jazz, gospel, R&B and soul artists enjoyed popularity in and even toured different parts of Europe. However, within the United States, Black artists were relegated to the so-called category of ‘race music’, an umbrella term—later replaced by ‘rhythm ‘n’ blues’ in the 1940s—used to denote essentially all types of African American music made by Black people, for Black people. The songs were distributed by mostly White-owned record labels catering exclusively to Black audiences, which meant that the White population remained largely ignorant of the large volumes of work that was recorded by countless Black artists. Black artists also did not get paid as much as White artists or have as many resources, and segregation ensured that their performances were limited to smaller venues.

By the early 1950s, however, a number of independent radio stations (again, mostly White-owned) began popping up, including rhythm ‘n’ blues or “Negro” radio stations. Since it was not possible to segregate radio waves, Black music became accessible to everyone and White teenagers began taking an interest in it. Seeing this, the music industry recognised the potential of appropriating Black music and record companies started making sanitised covers of the music with White artists to distribute to White listeners. But as Maultsby explains, they did so while “keeping the original artists in the background, unexposed” and rhythm ‘n’ blues music, covered and performed by White artists, was now marketed to the mainstream White listener as ‘rock ‘n’ roll,’ a term coined by radio disc jockey Alan Freed.

Record companies and White artists wanted the Black sounds and styles that appealed to the White audience but they did not want the Black artist. American record producer and founder of Sun Records Sam Phillips had been looking for “a White man with the Negro sound and the Negro feel” when he found Elvis Presley. The Beatles got their start by covering various blues artists like Arthur Alexander and rock ‘n’ roll pioneer Chuck Berry. Janis Joplin, who was dubbed the “Queen of Rock”, wanted to sound like a Black blues musician and was influenced by Lead Belly, Bessie Smith and Big Mama Thornton. Pat Boone covered ‘Tutti Frutti’, an original song by musician, singer and songwriter Little Richard, and reached 12th place in the national charts of 1956—several places ahead of the original.

Covers like these were made by record companies much to the disapproval and discontentment of the artists. Little Richard, nicknamed “The Innovator, The Originator, and The Architect of Rock ‘n’ Roll” and whose style influenced big names like the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, Michael Jackson and Prince, told the Washington Post in 1984 that he felt as though he was “pushed into a rhythm ‘n’ blues corner” to keep him away from the White audience. He said that “they”—who he does not name—would try to replace him with White rockstars like Elvis Presley who performed his songs on television as soon as they were released. He believed that this was because “they” didn’t want him to become a hero to White kids.

Little Richard’s statement reveals the racism and the lack of agency that Black artists suffered while under exploitative record labels. Exploitation happened to almost all artists in the music industry, but Black artists were particularly targetted as they would receive very little or nothing in royalties. Forbes reports that Specialty Records purchased ‘Tutti Frutti’ for a meagre 50 USD and gave him just 0.05 USD per record sold in royalties, while White artists received much higher rates—a discriminatory practice that was quite common in the industry. Richard, after he left the label in 1959, sued Specialty records for failing to pay him royalties.

Dr Birgitta Johnson is an associate professor of ethnomusicology in the School of Music at the University of South Carolina and teaches courses on African American sacred music, African music, hip hop, blues and world music. She explains that Black artists were not protected by copyright laws and would often have their music recorded and sold by record companies without proper contracts—in other words, their music would get stolen.

“Back in the day, there was no expectation that the Black artist could fight someone in court even though some of them did,” Johnson says. “If they didn’t have the copyright stolen from them, the record companies would own the music [instead of] the artists, and [the artists] wouldn’t know it because a lot of the time, they wouldn’t have the legal know-how to recognise what was happening in contracts. They wouldn’t get paid royalties . . . even though they were due royalties.”

While this exploitation of Black artists continued, in the late 1950s, after the development of smaller and more portable transistor radios, a wider audience of White teenagers began listening to Black radio stations. This new generation no longer had to depend on the family’s devices and gained more autonomy over what and who they listened to. “Young White people, who would become the hippies of the ‘60s, are the generation of people who started to press for their freedom . . . to [listen to] what they wanted to hear,” Johnson explains.

Listeners who heard the originals would call up the radio or go down to their local record store and ask for the originals, and record companies had to start supplying to demands to stay relevant in the market. “The covers made money but didn’t last long,” Johnson says, “because young White people no longer wanted the covers, the fake versions, the copies.”

The problem was that cover bands and artists tended to simply do whatever the producers asked them to do, which was usually to copy the original artist’s sound, style and moves, and more often than not, it made for bland and inauthentic renditions of the originals. The covers lacked the authenticity that Black artists conveyed in their performance and the young audience who had heard the authentic versions could see this. “They knew what the good music sounded like—it was almost like they understood... they may not have understood the racial dynamics of it, but they knew [the real thing from the fake],” Johnson says.

Moreover, artists who did covers were performing in styles that were foreign to them. “It was outside of their tradition; it was outside of their aesthetics; [and] they couldn’t bring the same excitement to it sometimes,” she explains. The music, performance and singing style had characteristic elements such as polyrhythms (layering of multiple rhythms), call-and-response, dance and improvisation—elements rooted in traditions that were brought to the United States by enslaved West and Central Africans between the 18th and 19th centuries. More importantly, the lyrics of songs by Black artists reflected the unique social customs, trends and living conditions of Black people, and these were not fully understood by people covering the songs. As a result, “[the covers] couldn’t compete with the real thing,” Johnson says.

Maultsby explains that due to the increasing popularity of the originals, record labels soon began recording more Black artists. However, she says, they watered down or “temper[ed] [their] heavy gospel-oriented sound” to make it more palatable for the White audience, and “one way they did [that] in the ‘50s and into the early ‘60s was to use pop production techniques” which meant a “background of strings and backup singers that sounded more White—concert-type singers—to soften the more raspier, emotional sound of the Black singer.”

By the 1980s, Black music gained exposure to an even wider international audience through television channels like MTV as well as broadcasts of live performances. Throughout the 1980s and ‘90s, collaborations between interracial duos were used as a mass-marketing strategy to increase the reach of Black artists and pop production continued to be used to “soften the Black sound.” Record companies also paired up White artists with Black producers to achieve that ever-popular Black sound.

“Thus, more White artists embodying or imitating aspects of the Black style made it acceptable and soon . . . that Black sound began to define the American sound,” Maultsby explains. However, this imitation and dilution meant that people could never experience authentic Black music.

According to Maultsby, who helped pioneer the academic study of African American popular music, the way non-African Americans experience African American music, even in the United States, is from the perspective of an outsider, and this applies to the international audience as well.

“By and large, within African American communities, music is created as a part of everyday life . . . music is a part of our lived experience,” Maultsby explains. “When that music is then taken out of that context and placed in the music industry, it becomes a commodity for mass dissemination, and it takes on a different meaning and a different function.”

She explains that the live performances of legendary artists like Aretha Franklin or James Brown were very different from the studio-recorded performances because the records were “mediated so that [they] fit a certain format that [could] appeal to a broader audience.”

“Record labels didn’t like recording performances live because they felt the audience interaction would interfere with the performance,” she says. “But that audience interaction [was] very much a part of the way Black music is created and experienced.

The writing and coverage of Black music both in and outside of the United States also did a poor job of representing its true essence. As Maultsby explains, White journalists who covered Black music would write about it from a White perspective rather than a Black one.

“A lot of misconceptions early on had to do with the music being reported by White journalists who reported through the lens of White audiences,” Maultsby says. “When journalists wrote about Black music . . . in the US—and this carried on to Europe and the rest of the world [including] Asia [and the] Middle East—they wrote about it through their observation of performances in venues with predominantly White or all-White audience, or in general, non-Black audiences . . . they did not go into the Black community to see how the music was performed and experienced.”

Writing about Black music and culture from a Eurocentric or White point of view has resulted in early Black contributions to popular music being misrepresented as well as erased from the general consciousness. Black culture was appropriated, exploited and diluted and in the process, consumers were left with watered down, commodified versions of the art that did not represent the people that were at the heart of creating it, and its after-effects have carried over to the present-day, among non-Western consumers.

Black contributions to music are also rarely discussed in mainstream media, which is largely controlled by White executives.

“The influence of Black music in a lot of American music are things that only get discussed in classes or documentaries—sometimes award shows—but mostly in formal environments, unless you’re from that tradition,” says Johnson. “[Artists like] Steven Tyler . . . [have] said, ‘I grew up listening to the blues; I love the blues’ . . . but the people who promote him don’t really have any interest in [promoting that] narrative because it’s really about selling a personality when you think about how the music industry works.”

She explains that though most people are analytically aware that the United States is a diverse country, images that are promoted by American companies are very White-centric. What is sold to the rest of the world as “American” is usually centred around Whiteness, whether that’s through music, movies, television or other forms of entertainment.

“The outside world sees a very limited package and predominantly a White or Eurocentric image . . . people look at America and assume this is basically a White space even though we have all this diversity—we’ve always had this kind of diversity of culture,” remarks Johnson, who often does not get recognised as Black American when she travels internationally. “When I go to China, they don’t assume I’m American. When I go to Thailand, they don’t assume I’m American."

Even though a lot has changed for Black musicians and artists in the United States since its “race music” days, the impact of racism and Eurocentrism lingers on and affects the way Gen Z as well as millennials outside of the United States, like myself, understand pop music in the 21st century. Many tributes have been paid to pioneering and legendary Black artists in award shows, documentaries and biopics and their contributions have been studied academically by scholars like Maultsby and Johnson, but my awareness of Black music and culture as a non-American is not only limited by what’s been given to me in the media, but also by what’s been left out of the conversations around popular music. How do we change this?

As Maultsby expresses, it starts simply with acknowledgement—just like a symphony orchestra’s roots are acknowledged to be European no matter who performs it or how it is reinterpreted in different cultures, or how a sitar is recognised as an Indian musical instrument whether it’s played in a jazz performance or a symphony orchestra, we need to continue to learn and acknowledge the Black roots of the music even when it has a local interpretation or variation.

“We all know [the symphony orchestra] comes from Europe; there’s no question there; we don’t try to claim it as our own conception, but we do participate in that culture. That’s how we have to think about Black American culture,” she says.

We need to recognise African American music for its role in shaping Western popular music, and understand what constitutes Black musical traditions and what differentiates it from the rest of the world, rather than generalise it as merely American music. And while music may have transcended cultural and racial boundaries, transcendence should not come at the price of obscuring and erasing the source.

“It’s fine as long as we keep in mind the source of that music,” Maultsby says. “We can say it transcends race—it just shows how influential Black has been internationally—but at the same time, we don’t need to erase the group that created the music and make Black people invisible in terms of their contributions. And that happens a lot.

“If we are not reminded that Black people are the ones that created the music you love, we question their contributions to society and to the world. We shouldn’t need to be reminded every day. It belongs in our consciousness.”

10 notes · View notes

augustharlow · 7 years

Text

The Song Bird

Tagging → @kalebulrich Mentions of → Sex Time Frame → 7th of May 2017 Location → August’s house Notes → August thinks he is alone and ends up singing, but he gets a surprise visit from Kaleb and something unexpected happens.

August was having a day off so he had spent the day doing a bit of this and that. He had cleaned the house, he had been dreaming where he could put the little garden of his on his backyard once he'd have time for it, and now he had headed to the shower. If there was something August did when he was alone that was singing. He was too shy to actually sing when other people were around so the only moments when he did do so was when he was sure there was no one to listen him. Which was perfect when you had a house of your own and you knew not even your neighbours could hear you. And singing was exactly what August was doing in the shower right on this moment. At first it had been just humming, but then a certain song came into his mind. All thanks to his thoughts wondering off to a certain someone. "Without you the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows. Without you the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly. Without you the earth turns, the sun burns. But I die without you."

Kaleb was only working half of the day at the office, so luckily after finishing up what he needed to do he was off and venturing the town. When he walked past the grocery store with the seeds and all the gardening suppllies he thought of August and the garden that they talked about once before. Of course Kaleb was just doing what was best for August, but maybe buying them wasn't the smartest move. So he pulled out his phone and took some pictures, quickly stuffing it in his pocket and making way to August's place. He was pretty sure that August had the day off and maybe telling August about the market having all the supplies ready would get him wanting to make the garden.So as he made way he pulled out the spare key from his set of keys and unlocked the door. Soon stepping in and looking for August. He had seen the man's car out front and he wanted to tell him the good news but was no where to be seen. That was when Kaleb heard the sound of what was water running but more so the soothing voice of August singing. It was beautiful and drew Kaleb to walk closer, quiet as he stepped in the sight of line of the bathroom. The steam coming from the bathroom but what really had Kaleb drawn was the power in August's voice. The sweetness and strength within. He didn't know the man could sing and it was apparent that August had such talent. Kaleb could've spoke up but didn't and just stood there and listened

August had no idea Kaleb had came over or that he was listening. If he would have known he would have stopped singing right away. But since he thought he was still alone the song kept on floating. Thanks to the song August had totally forgotten what you should do in a shower, so he was pretty much just standing under the streaming water and just singing with closed eyes. The acoustics of his bathroom just was too good for singing and he never could help himself not to sing in there. Then he came to the last verses of the song and at this point he wasn't saving any of his voice. "Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breathe. The mind churns, the heart yearns. The tears dry without you. Life goes on but I'm gone 'cause I die without you." And then came the silence. A soft sigh left from his lips as he opened his eyes, turned the shower off, opened the door of the shower grabbing his towel, quickly drying his skin and wrapping the towel around his waist. He stepped out of the shower and froze completely when he saw Kaleb. Right away his face turned red, not because he was standing there only wearing a towel, but because it was clear Kaleb had heard him. "...how long have you been here..?"

Music was a way to bring emotion out in people, it sent waves of joy and happiness. Any song or measure of music could spread the message to someone and that emotional connection with the person singing and the song attached was important. Kaleb was emotionally drawn to the song that August was singing. He personally didn't know the song but just the way August poured his soul in it had kept him at a stand still. He didn't want to ruin the man's moment by saying he was here. His eyes misty as he thought for a second, was August singing about someone? Was he singing about him? It was like Kaleb was in a trance from August's voice and once the song was over and the other male stepped out, Kaleb's eyes had been trained on August. This wouldn't be the first time he had accidentally seen the man naked but Kaleb's gaze wasn't even on that, it landed on August's face. Capturing that embarrassed moment of blushed cheeks which didn't bother him at all, but Kaleb's eyes soon fixed on August's. What happened next was out of impulse as he stepped in to come up to August. The only thing he said was: "Long enough.." Before he took hold of August's face in his hands, directing the male in a passion siezed kiss.

The way Kaleb looked at him was new. It was.. different. August wasn't sure what it was or what was the reason Kaleb looked at him like that. He was about to ask about it as his blush got deeper and August was almost ready to disappear behind a door again so Kaleb couldn't look at him. But then the man came closer, cupping his face and kissing him. The first thought in August's head was 'don't', because they really shouldn't be kissing and he definitely shouldn't be replying into it. But his body and his heart didn't want to agree with his head. They both kept on telling one kiss wouldn't be a bad thing. He was allowed to have one kiss. So August did respond in the kiss, carefully since he wasn't quite sure why he got the kiss in the first place.

Kaleb didn't want to ruin the moment by asking about why August was singing that song in pacticular. This was playing on their connection, their emotional attachment and Kaleb had fallen in that moment from the beauty of August's voice. He wanted to show August how he felt in this moment. Even though they have talked about this numerous of times. That they shouldn't cross the barrier due to their different point of views, however right now the only point that was seen was the passion between the two in Kaleb's eyes. Letting his tongue fall in line with August's, he deepend it. Having the kiss play on. His hand roaming down August's bare chest to soon rest just above where the towel laid.

The moment got heated just in few seconds and August didn't know how to react to any of it. He knew he should pull away, but he didn't want to. He wanted that kiss. He needed it. No one had kissed him like that in a really long time. Or touched him that way either. August turned his brains off, ignoring all the warnings it was trying to give him about this situation. August needed the closeness, far more than he had thought he had. His hands finally moved onto Kaleb's cheeks letting the kiss turn even deeper.

Kaleb had shut off his brain minutes ago when he first heard August singing. All he knew was this moment felt right, it was needed and he wasn't going to stop this from happening. Their kiss deepened, tongues dancing with each other and soon Kaleb's hand moving to undo the towel that August had on. Breathing through his nose to keep up, his fingers ghosted along down August's body even further. The lightest touch made as he ran it along the shaft of August's cock. When the kiss was departed for more air, Kaleb soon kissed along August's jawline to his neck with open mouthed kisses. His hand soon grasping along the other's shaft, giving it a soft stroke or two. "Tell me.. what you want" He whispered into August's ear.

The kiss felt so good. So right. So needed. August forgot how to breath when the fingers ghosted over his skin, his muscles tensed and it felt like his stomach was twisting upside down while it got filled with butterflies. August didn't know how to stand there or what to do with hands or his lips or his anything. His hands moved from Kaleb's cheeks on to the back of his neck, just staying there gently as the kiss kept going on. When he felt a hand on his penis August took a sharp inhale and his eyes closed for a moment. That definitely was a way no one had touched him in a really long time. The question that was whispered in his ear made him feel weak from the knees and a bit wavering breath left his lips. "You. I want you", he whispered as he leaned a bit closer to Kaleb's body.

Kaleb kept his hand stroking August as he felt the man's member twitch within the tough. His lips continued to travel down his neck as Kaleb was admiring and giving August all he could give. Whenever Kaleb was in a situation like this he went with the flow, normally he was the one that ended up being the submissive one but right now there was a slight dominance in him. Figuring out where this would lead as he heard the whispered answered. Causing Kaleb's body to react, his cock twitching in the prision of his pants. His lips traveling down August's neck to the collar bone and soon to his nipples. Giving a slight tease from the open kisses, as he kissed lower and lower down. Landing on his knees as his hand was still doing the work of stroking August's member. His heart was racing and all he could think about was the pleasure, the touch, everything that felt so right at the moment. He leaned in to give August's cock an open kiss against the length. Going underneath the sensitive head before taking in some of it in his mouth.

August was sure he was going crazy. Or that he was having a dream. This really couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. It felt so good, too good to be true. August had seen few wet dreams about this kind of situation happening between the two of them, but it surely hadn't felt this good. August couldn't have imagined it being this good. His breathing was already getting heavier just because of all the kisses and the way Kaleb's hand moved on him. August let his head drop back, his eyes close and his lips stay slightly ajar as he tried to handle all these sensations at once. And the lips on his cock.. A soft moan could be heard coming from him as his fingers searched their way into Kaleb's hair. August wasn't sure had he gotten hard this quickly ever before, but seriously, he was ridiculously hard considering how this situation hadn't been going on more than maybe couple of minutes if even that. And every touch and every kiss only made him harder.

Kaleb had kept his hand strokes at a slow rate, really drawing out the desire and hard cock that seemed to grow within it. The sight of it made him go wild and he wanted to taste August, everything about this and the way he heard the heavy breathing and sight moans were the drive he had. The pheormones were lingering in the air and Kaleb could not help himself. The way everything was happening and how hard August had got for him made Kaleb hungrier. Sucking down most of his length while moving his hands to rest against his ball sack. Giving it circular motions as he continued to suck. Slowly bobbing and filling his mouth with August's cock. It filled his mouth nicely and the moan that elected from him gave vibrations. Looking up from his lashes he saw how pleased August was, the way he gripped at Kaleb's hair was all he needed to go on with what he was doing. Making it hard for his own member as he took August's hard cock in.

Somehow August was still sure this wasn't real. It couldn't be real. No matter what was happening right now somehow it was impossible to think it really was happening. It had always been like this distant dream, something he had wanted but knew he couldn't have. Of course the situation wasn't what he had always said it should be, this was far from it, but right now it felt so right to let it all happen. To be actually happy for once. Even if it'd mean just for a really short moment August was going to take it. He wanted to feel that happiness. He wanted to have Kaleb, even if it meant he would have him only for this moment and not for anything else ever again. He just wanted to have all of Kaleb. Maybe he was a bit of a masochist because August knew this would never happen again. That he would reach the moment of happiness, the moment of pleasure, just to lose it for good. But he wasn't going to let himself think of that now. That might just ruin everything. As Kaleb kept on going, letting more pulses of pleasure run through August's body August also noticed something -- he couldn't keep on standing for long. He had to lean on something or he might just fall on the floor because those pulses were making him nuts and he just couldn't control his body right now. "Ka-kaleb", he whispered his voice all of a sudden all dry from lust he felt towards the man. "Bedroom."

Kaleb soon closed his eyes and focused on the member at hand and his mouth. he kept this up, swirling his tongue and giving all the pleasure he could to August. Hollowing his cheeks to suck the man off, the desire and passion that was all linked in was making Kaleb weak, horned up and everything coming in his body was an overwhelming sension of need and pleasure. No matter what way it was. He didn't care if they were going to do it in the bathroom, he just wanted August for everything he had and would shoot off. His moans were muffled and light but they were soon paused as August whispered his name, granted he really didn't hear most of it only to catch the last thing mouthed. Kaleb popped off with a small string of salvia that linked him. Soon massaging his lips with his tongue and standing up. Taking hold of August's hand and bringing him to the bedroom. "As you request." Kaleb winked happily as he opened the door to August's room. With the time given, Kaleb pulled out his wallet from his back pocket which had a few condoms in there for any case. Kaleb went from having an active sex life with his friends to more so playing a patient waiting game for Walker. It wasn't like he needed the sex or that there was anything pressured but he always came prepared and got himself checked out every few months after a major scare of safe sex and transmitted diseases when in Florida, soon transitioning to Hallow Grove. Soon after tossing his wallet, Kaleb lifted and got rid of his shirt. Showing his toned and yet muscular upper body for a nerd.

It was really hard for August to stay silent. Or more like impossible. There was small moans, sighs, huffs, even gasps, as Kaleb kept moving his head and hand. He clearly had skills for this and August was lucky enough to get his share of those said skills. Although he did feel bad that his own body wanted to fail him with not being able to stand while getting the amazing blowjob. August looked down when he heard the soft pop as Kaleb pulled his head away and just seeing the man there, watching up to him, licking his lips while August's cock was there all eager and hard for whatever was about to come -- that sight made August feel even hornier. And the fact Kaleb actually listened him and took him to his bedroom.. August really and truly appreciated that. Not that many might not be as considerate and would rather keep on doing what they stared to do. Once they were in the bedroom August stayed by his bed, watching Kaleb and when the shirt was taken off August's eyes got wider. Of course he had known Kaleb had a trained body, that was easy to feel when you hugged the other, but to actually see how trained it was.. Carefully August reached out to touch Kaleb's stomach, just to make sure he wasn't just seeing things.

As August approached Kaleb, he watched in awe as the other man touched his stomach. Causing Kaleb's skin to feel goosebumps crawl down. Just the simple touch still making him wanting more and craving for any other touch from August. Sure Kaleb wanted to spend all the time on August and blowing him but this could take all afternoon for them to get down to business like they are right now. "Undress me" Kaleb spoke to August, wanting to feel more of the man's touch on him. His tone seductive and it being hard to get his jeans off in one piece.Only for Kaleb to direct August in another kiss before anything else would happen. His torso pressed against August's. The skin on skin contact filling up more heat between the two as Kaleb's tongue lingered with dominance in the way he kissed August.

The skin felt so soft, so warm, so smooth.. August glided his palm on Kaleb's abs, his fingers tracing softly the lines of the muscles. He wanted to trace every muscle on Kaleb's body, every curve, every tiny detail. He wanted to learn to know every and each one of them. The request made August take a step closer but before he could fulfill that Kaleb already came closer kissing him again. August's hand got left between their bodies where it slowly moved to his side and then down to the waist line of his jeans. His right hand did the same and even though the kiss continued in a really passionate way August moved his body slightly away from Kaleb so he could fit his hands between them to get rid of Kaleb's pants. He opened the button, opened the fly, but instead of actually helping the jeans out August had to do one another thing first. He slid his right hand into Kaleb's underwear, his fingers finding their destination. Gently they wrapped around Kaleb's penis starting to stroke it slowly as the kiss stayed as heated as it was before.

Waves of pleasure were coursing through Kaleb's body, awaking him as his tongue was doing most of the talking along with his lips. Bringing his hand up to comb and rake through August's dark locks as the kiss filled with passion, keeping them close. When August drew back, Kaleb was slowly looking up to him. Trying to understand why he had stopped only to feel that August had undone his pants only to take his hand and trace down to take hold of Kaleb's harden member. Gasping from the relief of the attention August gave, Kaleb held onto August's waist as he bucked his lower half into August's hand. "Shit.." he cursed out as the touch felt amazing, electing every fiber in his being as Kaleb went back to the kiss with the other man. Lips smacking and letting August have a taste of what Kaleb had earlier. Moaning into their tongue fight

The curse word brought a small smile on August's lips because clearly his touch had been very much needed on that moment. And by the eagerness of the kiss that followed the touch indeed was a right one. August's free hand moved on Kaleb's lower back as he pressed the man a bit more against his hand and his body. The passion of the kiss got August excited of all the possibilities they might come up with right now. They could stay there, stroaking each other, or there could be multiple blow jobs or the sex itself, but whatever the end result of all this is August knew he was going to enjoy every bit of it. His tongue became a bit braver taking a bit more control over the kiss. Somehow August wanted all possible things right on this second yet he wanted to use a good amout of time to just investigate the way both of them got pleasure from. It was a complicated situation in a good way. Extremely good.. August couldn't help but think how good kisser Kaleb was and how his lips tasted so good and how August just wanted more. The movement of his hand became slightly quicker as he wanted to hear more of that beautiful moan he had heard just a moment earlier.

It was easy for Kaleb to fall into that submissive position when someone had that moment of taking dominance. From the hold on his back and being pushed closer to August's body, Kaleb moaned again in the middle of their passionate tongue fight. His hand trailing back and wanting to tease and play with August's cock as well. Sharing the moment as a heated one as he tilted his head, allowing more access for August's tongue in the kiss. From the growth and eager mind Kaleb had his cock was hard and throbbing in the other's hand within the minutes of their heavy make up. Swiping spit and tongue with each other as the taste was like a drug to Kaleb. "August.. I want you so bad" He was able to talk between the breathing moments, where kisses were peppered on one another's cheeks and necks. His hand still stroking August's hard cock in hand. Knowing that if he was blowing him again, he would be waiting for August to spill his load. "You wanted me to finish you off didn't you?" Kaleb whispered, now wanting to talk a little dirty to him while peppering those kisses still. "Maybe you wanted to cream my face, I'd be totally fine with that but I can swallow all of it"

In August's experience it usually was just one of them who would take the control, but somehow it seemed, and felt, super easy for him and Kaleb to switch roles. It felt so natural to let Kaleb have the control and then for a short moment take it before giving it back again. Kaleb's words made August's stomach do few extra flips again and he wanted so badly to reply to those words, but no words came out so instead of words he made the kiss even more heated -- if it even was possible anymore -- and his hand in Kaleb's pants took a bit more determined touch in all possible ways. It was hard to think or even speak when your heart was beating out of your chest, your breathing was all messed up, your body ached more touching, your lips were getting tired but you didn't want to stop. August's eyes were closed when the question came and he nodded his head softly, not even sure did Kaleb see it or not, but when the mention of creaming came August's eyes opened and instantly his face turned red. He could.. no, no, he shouldn't it might end badly and the second option would bring more pleasure for sure. "Swallow", he finally managed to say as his eyes searched Kaleb's so he could look at him and that way tell him whatever they were doing right now August wanted it so badly. "But I.." he stared trying to find his voice again, but it was hard when you just wanted to moan and huff because of the strokes on your penis, "I have to sit or lay down, I won't be able to stay standing." He felt a bit ashamed he had to say that, he sounded like some old man who had weak knees.

While Kaleb was using the dirty talk against August, he was now planting some kisses from August's lips to his chin and jawline once again. Just wanting to show all the affection towards the man as he did so. Humming happily as he heard that August wanted him to swallow. Kaleb was happy with that answer and would've been okay with the ladder as well. Arching his body closer for August's touch, Kaleb continued to use his hand along the strokes of August's cock. "Because of the pleasure I give you?" Kaleb whispered to the man in question. Another moan escaping him as August continued to work his cock. At this rate, Kaleb was going to blow his load and he didn't want to just yet. "Get on the bed" He spoke to August, not wanting to detach but having to get more comfortable as Kaleb went to grab a condom from his wallet and even opening up one of the middle drawers to the night stand that August had. Searching and making a victory call when he found the lube. Setting them on the side of the bed, Kaleb soon came up. Strattling August as he lowered the older man on the bed first. Securing with another kiss before kissing further down. The same method he did to give August the blow job but that's the least he was going for. When he trailed those open kisses to the man's penis, Kaleb gave a health stroke. Bringing the member into his mouth and pulling off to kiss down the shaft and even lower to August's pink flesh. Kisses the sensitive area before sticking his tongue out to start working and easing August to the sensation that would soon be bigger.

It was no surprise how August's cheeks turned red at the question. He tried to hide it by moving his head a bit giving Kaleb more space to kiss his chin and neck, but the stupid smile on the older male's lips and the color of his cheeks told no lies of how August was feeling. "Yeah", he finally managed to say twitching a bit at the sound of Kaleb's moan. It sounded so wonderful, especially because August was the one who caused that sound to come from Kaleb's lips. He had to steal the man's lips on his own again, hungrier for a deeper kiss. The command to get on the bed made August slightly hesistant because he didn't want to break the kiss or the touch. But he did do what was requested and sat on the bed, his eyes glued on Kaleb and his body. August wanted to just watch that body, admire it, touch it.. And then that said body sat on his lap and pushed him to lie down. August's hands moved onto Kaleb's thighs, his eyes closed, his mouth opened slightly and a soft moan came out as the trail of kisses moved down more and more. August squeezed Kaleb's thighs, his head moved back as the sounds of pleasure kept on filling the bedroom, August getting louder a bit by bit as his pleasure grew by Kaleb's every move.

In Kaleb's time through sexual encounters, he has been more of the submissive one. The one to have his ass filled with another man's penis. He loved it really, but he has flipped roles before. Taking the dominant part and getting his fill in was different but he enjoyed it. Kaleb liked to give all the pleasure and for the pleasure to be recieved was all he wanted. To hear the moans from his partner was all he wanted. The feeling of August's hands on his thighs made him weak, wanting to cave in and ride August's hard cock until he cried out. But what he was aiming for now was giving August the pleasure. His tongue working in the tight space of his anal canol and wanting to hear August's moans get louder. His nose dug where August's balls land and all Kaleb wanted to do was warm the man up for what was bigger. During this time, Kaleb pulled down the rest of his jeans and soon rolled a condom on. Stroking himself softly to prepare himself for August all the while stretching the man as best as he could with his tongue for now

Really, if Kaleb would have wanted to take a ride August wouldn't have minded that either. August would take anything at this point without any kind of negative sound or expression. He was way too deep in the feeling of passion that he could have found any kind of negativity with what the two of them were doing. But when Kaleb moved more down disappearing from August's touch he only wished the other would come back up so there would be something to touch. But August had only the sheets around him and that had to do for now. He moved his legs apart a bit to give Kaleb more space to do whatever he felt like doing and when he felt a tongue on the sensitive spot a slightly wavering moan came from his lips. August had to open his eyes and lift his head up a bit when he heard Kaleb taking off his pants and August looked almost mesmerised of how Kaleb looked like all focused on his task, August's own cock blocking part of the view but somehow that sight was something August didn't want to forget. He didn't want to forget any moment of what they were doing now and were about to do. He wanted, and needed, to remember every second of this. He reached out to Kaleb, propped his body up a bit to reach better and put his hand on Kaleb's cheek trying to guide the man to look up and move up as well. "Come here", he said softly hoping Kaleb would forget his doings for a moment.

There was a drive in Kaleb and what he was going for was nothing but pleasure and passion in the moment that was handed to him. He wasn't thinking of anything else but August at the moment. What buttons to push, how to fully tease and prep the guy, everything he had going was to make August feel good. He felt a shift from the man's body but he still continued on his mission to tease the man. Soon grabbing the lube to get on his fingers and lube up his cock. Having to pause when he felt August's hand on his cheek, Kaleb moved away. Looking up to August when the said come here. In which he did, moving up to the man with a grin. The command was intriding and hot coming from August. All Kaleb did was smile back to him with that dorky personality attached to it.

Oh gosh how much August loved that smile, that face and those eyes. How he loved this man. He knew he really shouldn't, but he also couldn't help himself. He just couldn't. He felt like his feelings only grew stronger with every passing day and he knew it was wrong but he couldn't help it. And now that they were about to have sex.. It really wouldn't be just a random bang or even just sex. It would be something much more, something more powerful. At least to August it would. August replied to the smile he got, bent his knees lifting the soles of his feet on the bed as well and once Kaleb was close enough August moved his head near the man's ear. "Fingers", he whispered in his ear, took his earlobe in his mouth sucking it softly as his hand moved behind Kaleb's neck, his fingers disappearing partly into Kaleb's hair. His lips moved from the ear onto Kaleb's neck and shoulder and when his lips were coming closer to Kaleb's ear again August blew a bit of air behind his ear placing a soft kiss on that same spot.

Kaleb wasn't sure what was going to come out from August next so he kept close and listened to what he had to say. Although his own actions were to go back to August's cock and stroke him some more. That was until August whispered to him. It took a second for Kaleb to ring in what was said. A chill sending down his spine as August soon moved from his ear to kissing and sucking on Kaleb's neck, making him moan louder. The way August blew on his ear made Kaleb quiver, his cock aching now to do something else then wait but he did waht August wanted. With his hand moving down, his fingers already lubed up he probbed one finger in at first. Using a small motion to ready and prep August and soon adding another one, all while August had excess to kissing and doing whatever possible to Kaleb.

The finger made August moan again -- really close to Kaleb's ear, actually by an accident, but at least hopefully Kaleb would only enjoy that. He still balanced his upper body on his left arm as his right was on Kaleb's neck, but if this kind of pleasure was going to keep on coming August knew he had to lie back down, but he also was going to bring Kaleb down with him. But for now he was going to enjoy this position as long as he could. His eyes were closed, soft moans and slight whines came from his lips as his breathing got a bit heavier again and after the second finger August had to steal Kaleb's lips to himself to show him how much he enjoyed what the man was doing.

The tight feel around his fingers was the motivation that Kaleb had in order to keep it going. To work in and get those sounds to come out of August some more. The whines and heavy breathes that Kaleb was soon going to match. His moans escaping him as his fingers went deeper. Scratching the tight area around lightly to give all the pleasure. HIs eyes were half lidded as he watched August start to unwind in his touch. Only to soon have a kiss set to his lips to break apart form all the heavy panting already. In between the kiss Kaleb had whispered out. "You want more?" Seductively asking the man as he went back for another kiss. This time taking in the taste and letting August moan into his mouth. The tip of his finger reaching to try and find August's prostate. Just to give a little rub to it

August felt like he didn't even have time to answer the question that was asked from him, because first there came the kiss and then Kaleb found extremely sweet spot with his finger which made August's grip behind Kaleb's neck get harder and clearly the loudest moan so far come from his lips. Did he want more? Hell yes he did. He wanted it all. Everything. Right now. "Yes", he finally got to say as he deepened the kiss again. He lowered his upperbody back down and pulled Kaleb with him because he didn't want to break the kiss even for a split second.

Kaleb's foucs was all over the place, he wanted to do everything in the span of the late evening into the night. His mind was running wild and he mostly thought of how good it would feel once his cock was inside August and getting to feel that tight space that was already tight around his fingers. Kaleb's lips were with August's the whole time with the brief moments of having to turn his head to moan or groan. To let out a heavy sigh from how good everything was feeling. Tongues heavily playing with each other after August answered the question, soon lowering them on the bed with Kaleb on top of the other. Kaleb arched his hand to keep the fingers at their pace while their hard cocks rubbed together. "Good.." He replied breathless, trying to catch himself as he pulled his fingers out. Trailing them slowly up to where their cocks laid, taking both in hand and feeling how perfect they felt in his hand. Stroking and getting a little pre cum out of him as well. Kaleb's cock was already lubed and he couldn't wait anymore. Lining himself up, he kept the kiss going with August as just the tip went in. Resting there until August adjusted to the size of him, soon slowly pushing in. Groaning from how good August felt around his cock. The amount of lust, passion, and dedication was making Kaleb's eyes heavy with lust. He couldn't help himself. With his hands free to roam like before, he moved them up August's body and soon rested on his sides. Holding them together, bodies pressed as Kaleb moved slowly. Easing August's pleasure points

August had a feeling he wouldn't be able to handle this situation for long. He might have to give in way too early compared to how long he would want to keep going. But maybe Kaleb wouldn't take it badly, at least hopefully. Plus August knew after a break he would be ready to go for a second round if they would just want to do so. But maybe it'd be better not to worry about coming too early when there was coming impulses of pleasure all over his body. August wrapped his arms around Kaleb's neck to keep him there, just so he couldn't escape anywhere from the kiss. As Kaleb's fingers left him August felt a short moment of emptiness, but the thought of what would come next made that feeling disappear and the kiss only got some new fire in it. Feeling the tip of Kaleb's penis on his rim August tried his best to relax and stay relaxed, which made him stop the kiss for a moment. He pressed the back of his head a bit harder against the mattress, his fingers tugging Kaleb's hair a bit as a heavy moan of pleasure filled the air. August's legs wrapped around Kaleb's hips, guiding the other's body in their own way as August tried to take some kind of control over his breathing that seemed to be all fucked up right now. But hell this all felt good. Kaleb felt so good. "Kaleb", August whispered softly, not even knowing why, but he just had to say the man's name.

Waves of pleasure were taking over Kaleb and although he could come at any moment he was holding back to give the full experience. To feel every ounce of his body overwhelmed with pleasure and to give August that same feeling was what drove Kaleb to continue and push past the thought of climax. With the man's arms wrapped around him and soon his legs, it brought Kaleb psychically closer. He worked his cock in slowly to let August adjust all that he could. Kaleb had a moment where his breathe was hitched in his throat and he couldn't stop himself. The way that August said his name was just what he filled his ears with joy. Loving every second of this as he was finally all the way inside of August. Still deep in the kiss with the man.

Probably because of the kiss and they way Kaleb was so close to him -- and because August could tell how good Kaleb was feeling as well -- it felt somewhat easier to stay relaxed and just take all of Kaleb inside of him. Through the movement August was letting out soft sighs against Kaleb's lips, wanting him to know how good he felt right there, right now. This was more than anyone could ever wish for. August's grip from Kaleb's hair loosened a bit now that they stayed still for a moment, the kiss softened a bit as well because August wanted to use few extra seconds to just watch Kaleb's face. He smiled at him gently, gave him a soft kiss and then rolled his hips slightly as a tiny grin came on his lips as a result.

As Kaleb stayed still letting August adjust and be comfortable with what was happening, it gave Kaleb a moment to breathe. Take in everything that was happening, it felt unreal that they were finally together in this sense. It was freeing and every sense of his being felt passion for this moment. When he saw the grin on August's face, Kaleb looked back down to see that August had rolled his hips to Kaleb. Moving himself on his cock, in which Kaleb returned the smile and soon took into action what August wanted him to do. Seizing another kiss as he started up the motion. Pulling out ot slowly push back in. Doing it again and again, until he was getting bolder with his moves, and his breathe hitched between the deep kiss made for them. At this point Kaleb's hips were a mind of their own. He didn't want to stop and it felt soo good to be with August in this way.

Obviously the first movement made August sigh out of pleasure and when the kiss game and the movement started to turn into a steadier one the sights quickly turned into moans. August's eyes closed again and the kisses became a bit careless by an accident because there was so much happenig at the same time. Your body rocked hard against the other, you couldn't help but keeping a constant sound of pleasure, you tried to kiss, but you also had to try to breath. Combining all those weren't easy, but fucking hell that every bit of that mess felt so good.

With everything set in motion, Kaleb and August's kiss got hungrier, heavy with lust and want as Kaleb started to pump August. Filling him with every thrust he made. Their bodies were synced as Kaleb's moans were matching with August's. The noises that were made from the other man making him go wild. Just wanting to hear more and more as the room filled up with the loud sounds and heavy breathing. Every muscle was getting used and sweat built up from how much was worked out. Kaleb's thrusts became frantic with need as he called out August's name in the heat of this. Never wanting to stop but knowing his peak was soon made.

Every time August heard his own name called he just replied with Kaleb's in return. It was some sort of automatic reaction, almost like playing some wicked version of Marco Polo. A lot better version for sure. August was starting to get a bit all over the place and the kisses were pretty much only moans by now, his arms and legs just wrapped around Kaleb even tighter, almost like making sure he really was there and that he was going to stay there. August could feel how he was getting closer to the peak of his sensation and instead of saying he was getting closer he ended up repeating Kaleb's name in soft whispers. He couldn't hold it back anymore, he had to let go. He came with a loud moan -- which was some weird mix of a random moan and Kaleb's name --, the cum pretty much got on both of their bodies and a whine of pleasure was only sound August was able to make.

The moans were getting louder and more hectic with how hot and heavy they were with each other. Kaleb couldn't stop and he felt over the moon with everything at the moment. "Sh-shit.. Auggie" Kaleb groaned some more as he kept pumping in and out. Feeling August's grip around him tighten, making Kaleb go harder and faster. Finding his pace and soon getting to that spot he had rubbed his finger earlier. Rocking his hips to aim at that spot like a drum roll. Hitting it every time, it was that same motion and hit that had August cum for him. Kaleb closed his eyes tight as he felt August's climax, the male's excitement soon spreading between their bodies and how tight August was during the process. Kaleb was still working his hips but it was soon too much as he came himself. Groaning while he filled the condom. It took another minute to finally milk out the orgasm and to slow his hips down to a full stop as he hid his face in the crock of August's neck. "Wow.. "

August's body was squeezing against Kaleb's shaft, milking the other out and when Kaleb's movements stopped and he put his head on August's neck August couldn't help but smile. He kissed Kaleb's head softly, loosened his grip around the man just a bit, just so he wouldn't keep on holding on him that tightly, but he didn't move his arms or legs away from the other. He was still holding onto him with all his limbs. The 'wow' made August laugh and move his right hand into Kaleb's hair. "Who knew me singing would cause this to happen", he said with a quiet, yet happy, voice. It really had been amazing.

While Kaleb finally relaxed, feeling August relax around him as well. They stood still in the moment, taking in everything that just happened. Once he had the chance, Kaleb slipped out and took the condom off. Knotting it and tossing it to the trash can that was in the room. His breathing was coming to a regular state again as he chuckled from what August said. "I'm sorry.. I kinda did just attack you. It was amazing though. The singing and this."

August moved his legs down when Kaleb moved and extremely soft moan left his lips when Kaleb pulled out. It felt so empty all of a sudden not having Kaleb so close anymore. He moved his soles back on the floor from the bed, moved the placement of his arms so now he was more like hugging Kaleb. "Don't apologise", August said softly as he moved his fingers back in Kaleb's hair. "I've.. never sang when someone else is listening. And the song.. I was thinking of you while singing." August's cheeks got a tint of red again as he confessed this little detail to Kaleb.

His body was still radiating with heat as the beads of sweat were cooling him. Though this was a relaxing moment, his body was reacting to how close him and August were. His cock waking up for another round of sex already as August played with his hair. Anytime someone played with his hair, it brought out a whole different side to him. A playful, flirty and sexual vibe that came through. Looking up to August he was a little shell shocked. "Really? You were singing about me." A warm feeling filled his heart as he brought their lips back together. Going for more and seeing what more would come of the night. Leading to more exploration and fun until they collasped on the bed and fell asleep. When morning came, Kaleb rolled over to adjust himself. The sun beaming through the window, making him squint his eyes closer. Soon shifting himself again as he woke up fully. Turning to feel the body next to him as August. Everything about the sex was amazing, what happened was nice and there was a night of thinking it wasn't even reality. That was until he looked at calm state of August's face. Seeing how calm he was now, only made Kaleb realize that after that face woke up that reality would set that this was a defining moment. Kaleb had played off the emotional toll and that he possibly ruined a good friendship in them. Quickly he turned to get his phone from his pants pocket to look at the time. Seeing his background photo was a comic strip that Walker made, more realization hit him. A wave of guilt took over. The moment of bliss was now riddling Kaleb with guilt in mulitiple ways. He got up and started to dress himself, buttoning up his pants and soon grabbing his shirt. Finding his shoes quickly and getting them on, turning to see August, all Kaleb could think about was what would change of this? He didn't think of this last night because it was them, it was them and no one else and in that he didn't even think of Walker which made him feel worse.

Usually August was the one who woke up extremely early, but somehow right now he actually seemed to be the one who slept long. Maybe it was the fact he had had an amazing evening that had made many things extremely magical to him and that he had had Kaleb sleeping next to him, but when he woke up the next morning there was a faint smile on his lips, but when he opened his eyes and noticed the other side of his bed empty the smile faded away. He sat up to see was Kaleb somewhere there, just woken up or something, but then he saw the man full clothed, even with his shoes on. August knew right away what that meant and he had to turn his gaze down to his lap as he covered his upper body with the towel so Kaleb couldn't look at him at all. This had been a mistake. This would do exactly what August had feared. He had thought it had meant more, that it had been special, that for once he would be loved the way he loved the other person, but to see the man you loved way too much, standing there with all his clothes on, that told more than Kaleb could probably ever say. He didn't love August and August clearly had been imagining it had meant more than what it clearly had been to Kaleb. It had been just sex. Nothing more. August was once again just a friend who stepped in the trap of lust and who was pushed right away into the friendzone. Maybe that was always going to be his fate. Always the number two but never the one. Maybe there wasn't the one for him. August couldn't look at Kaleb. He pulled his legs close to his chest, hid his face onto his knees so Kaleb wouldn't see the tears falling down his cheeks.He had had the most amazing night of his whole life and now it seemed it had been just a lie. It had yet again been just his body that was wanted and now that it had been gotten nothing more was wanted anymore. August could see that from Kaleb's face, he didn't need to look at him again to confirm it. There had been guilt, guilt that everything would change now. August should have not allowed any of this. He shouldn't have let Kaleb hear him sing, he shouldn't have let him kiss him, he definitely shouldn't have let them get this far. It had been wrong, to both of them. Love needs only one, but friendsip requiers two. But right now August wasn't sure was there anything anymore.

Peering over to August he saw the man move and shift his body. Hiding away from Kaleb and that made motion, the language in the other's body made Kaleb know he was the complete asshole here. He didn't mean for this to happen this way, he didn't want to play against August's emotions but he did just that and. Kaleb cared so much for August, they were close friends, closer than anyone can imagine and that boundary was crossed last night. It either would make for something stronger or weaken them and judging by the look from August, it weakened them. Without even saying anything Kaleb had broke the man and he knew that this friendship was the line due to him. It seemed almost selfish. He could just hop into bed with August and sleep the day away but when it came to what Kaleb's mind lingered to mostly was the other man. Which at this point he wasn't sure if he would have that either due to the event that happened. Kaleb's heart was breaking into pieces just thinking of the other men felt, how August felt right now. What to even say or tell Walker about this?With a deep frown to his features, Kaleb paused in gathering his stuff. Seeing as it was hard to see August like this, to know he was walking out like this looked bad. He knew it looked bad but what he cared the most was how the man felt and that just sent tears streaming down his face. The happiness from last night was now like a rock that sunk in his stomach as the awful feeling set in him. Taking his hand to cover his mouth and dry his tears, Kaleb mustered up as best as he could. "I'm sorry" He said as he finally moved forth and out of the room. Taking his wallet and keys to rush out before he could see August cry because whenever one started to cry, it followed to the other. This was the lowest thing Kaleb had done and with that, he felt terrible for it and torn. But that wouldn't even measure to how August must feel at this point

August had wished that Kaleb would stay. That he would come to the bed, hug him, tell him it would be alright, that they would be alright. But Kaleb left. He just said he was sorry and.. left. He left August there. Alone. Like a used rag. Someone who didn't mean anything. August felt so used. He felt like everything had been just one big lie. That once again his body had been what was wanted, but not him. He had thought Kaleb was different. That they were different. That there had been something there, that they actually cared and loved each other. But clearly not. Kaleb rather left than stayed.

Kaleb made his way through the house quickly, holding back the lump in his throat that set and the gut wrenching feeling. Before he could exit the door, he turned. The last minute wonder and debate of staying. He wanted to fix it, help August. But after what he did, Kaleb knew if he turned back it would make things worse for August. That he couldn't just make things okay again. So sadly he left shutting the door behind him. Knowing that everything was his fault.

He heard the front door close. The silence fell into the house that suddenly felt way too huge. Wrong. Like August didn't belong in there. That everything he was was wrong. That he was wrong. And he had been wrong. He had thought there was something, he had thought he had meant something special, but he had been wrong. His good heart had gotten broken once again but this time hurt like hell. The tears were like a rushing river, river that wouldn't dry out even with a dam. August was crying aloud, his whole body was shaking, he had no control of himself as he fell back on the bed and curled into the tiniest shape he ever could take. His heart was in pieces and the pain inside of him was way too real. The tears dry without you. Life goes on but I'm gone 'cause I die without you.

#kaleb

1 note · View note