#for context this is from an ask prompt from LAST YEAR OMFG

[vaspider]

I know you post all asks, but not always the same day you get them and people have no idea how long they're in your inbox so I think this is safer in an ask than a comment or reblog. Also I know I ramble I'm genuinely sorry, but I don't know how to get my point across properly without ALL the context. Working on it, not there yet, believe it or not I have improved a lot already.

I just saw your reblog crediting a quote from Elbows by Andrea Gibson and the whole post set a bunch of feelings in motion.

I'll be officially in my 40s in about 12 hours and I find myself looking back and being... unimpressed... with so much of it. Mostly how much time I wasted trying to make other people happy at my own expense. My happiness has never been deserved so why would I ever think it was even an option?

The last 6 years or so have felt different. It was a slow process, but I finally got some self worth and started giving myself credit where I deserved it. Turns out I'm pretty decent actually. There have been a few people involved in the process, mostly my QPP (who made me the most incredible sunken treasure chest for my birthday omfg if you want I will reply with pics he is AMAZING at creating things and it needs to be shared) and the neighbours we have built a community with since we had that fire at the beginning of the pandemic. I'm seriously starting to wonder if the loss of that village mindset isn't a contributing factor to like EVERYTHING wrong with society but I'm not the right person to explore that thought in any official capacity.

And you are someone else I've noticed. Not through personal interactions so much, you just happen to post things I need to hear right when I won't listen to people who are directly targeting me with the same message. I've had SO many "... oh" moments reading your random posts and replies and commentary. Sometimes, like the one that prompted this ask, it's something that makes me realize I'm not listening to things I would tell friends in my situation. More often it's something that unearths some indoctrinated internalized puritanical bullshit I never even realized I had as part of my mental framework to be questioned and forces me to examine and question it. Through your posts I've followed a few more blogs like you, and they give me things to question too, but you always stand out to me.

So thank you. Thank you for what you've done for me, even if you didn't realize you were doing it. Your work is seen and appreciated by someone, and I'm sure I'm only a drop in the ocean.

I hope everyone you care about gets every nice thing they deserve.

I'm glad you're getting there. It's a process.

Love to you and yours. 💗

[pupperofdarkness]

Give me a character and I will answer: Griffith

I just remembered that this was in my drafts it’s so old now sorry @bscully 😭😭😭

I’mma still post it tho

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Lol you have NO idea what you’ve just unleashed

Why I like them

Ngl, I have a fondness for ambitious and cold characters who are willing to achieve their goals by any means necessary…but Griffith stands out in that he serves as an absolutely BRUTAL deconstruction of this trope/archetype, even before the Eclipse. 

Why I don’t

It’s pretty obvious: he r——d Casca into insanity in front of Guts and tainted their child. And bear in mind, unlike sacrificing the Band of the Hawk, this action did nothing to get him closer to his kingdom. It was just an atrocity he committed out of spite and sheer evil. Tbh, that sort of destroyed my ability to see him in a positive light. There are moments where I flat out can’t even LOOK at pictures of him without wanting to cuss him out lol

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

The scene when he’s bathing in the lake after what happened with Gennon. I think it’s a good example of his duality

Favorite season/movie

The Golden Age in the manga (until volume 13. I’m never getting over that.)

Favorite line

During this exchange with Gennon, it’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t completely mean what he says. He says he feels nothing towards Gennon, but we as the audience know how his experience with Gennon truly affected him. And I think that highlights a very important aspect of his character: what he says is how he would LIKE to feel but it doesn‘t reflect how he TRULY feels. Ideally, Griffith would like for his emotions and humanity to not have an influence on him as he tries to gain his kingdom. But in the end, he was an emotional person, whether he liked it or not. This desire to completely bury his self-doubt, guilt, trauma, and emotional attachment towards his men (Guts specifically) is part of what led him to becoming Femto.

Favorite outfit

Ngl, the outfit he wears when Guts leaves is pretty nice. Asshole that he is, he looks nice in blue :p

OTP

Griffith/Rickert’s palm

Brotp

It USED to be Guts but then he went and fucked everything up 🤦🏾‍♀️

Head Canon

He’s a polyglot. He‘s got a knack for languages.

Unpopular opinion

I don’t know if this counts but…………..Casca’s prettier than him :p

A wish

I hope that what he did to Casca during the Eclipse comes back to bite him in the ass. I think the Moonlight Child might end up being the key to his downfall.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

If Guts and Casca ever do end up killing Griffith, I hope they don’t lose their son in the process.

5 words to best describe them

Complex, ambitious, possessive, charismatic, hypocritical 

My nickname for them

Everybody’s Favorite Asshole