#for once I like some of the work the DFB marketing is doing

[hubba1892]

Just wanted to let you know that this is the official announcement of the German Male Football Olympics squad

[leaschuller]

About Lena Oberdorf:

Lena Oberdorf, 18 years old, became the youngest German World Cup player in history in 2019. She has now 13 international matches (2 goals), and she is also the winner of the Fritz-Walter-Medaille for the best young female player in 2020. In the Bundesliga, Oberdorf played for SGS Essen for the first time in 2018, and now she plays for VfL Wolfsburg (depending on success, Oberdorf’s transfer fee is around a six-figure sum. There is no official confirmation for this.) So far, Oberdorf mainly played in the defense, in the future she could also imagine playing as a playmaker.

Full Interview Translation:

This is where the future of German football speaks

Wolfsburg's new player Lena Oberdorf is an exceptional talent. The 18-year-old speaks about her rapid development, the Champions League restart - and misogynistic remarks on the pitch.

SPIEGEL: Ms. Oberdorf, at the age of 18 you switched to the German series champions Wolfsburg, and according to newspapers they have paid for you an "unusually high" transfer fee for women's football. Does that put you under pressure?

Oberdorf: I didn't even know that, nor do i know the amount. That is why I don't feel any pressure now.

SPIEGEL: In football, it's usually the case that the parties agree not to disclose the transfer fee. With the men the amount of transfer fees often gets out after all, but with the female football players you hardly hear anything at all about them. Your transfer could have set an example - according to the motto: female football players also cost money!

Oberdorf: But then I would feel pressure now. I'm glad it wasn't published. I also think it's nice that you aren't just talking about money in women's football. We are human beings and transfer fees are insignificant. It is clear that transfer fees are not common in women's football, but they are also part of it.

SPIEGEL: The Champions League will continue on Friday and you can play for your new club. At least in theory, the team is a well-oiled machine. With who do you want to compete for a starting spot?

Oberdorf: I'm not even thinking about something like that. In Wolfsburg it's common, that there is a lot of rotation. Four days after the Champions League final on August 30th, the Bundesliga starts again. It's not about taking someone's place. I'm just waiting for my opportunity. It is certainly good that i can play many positions: in central defense or on the six in front of the defense. I could also imagine playing a ten. The main thing is to play in the center.

SPIEGEL: All in all, that sounds cautious for a footballer who has already played 13 international matches und has played in a World Cup, who has already been described as the boss of German national team's defense.

Oberdorf: These numbers don't interest me at all. And I don't see myself as the boss of the defense either. A defense consists of four players, I am one of them. It's better if everyone takes responsibility.

SPIEGEL: The final tournament of the Champions League will take place in Bilbao and San Sebastián. The COVID-19 case numbers in the region are going up, Germany has designated Spain as a risk area. How do you deal with the development?

Oberdorf: We talk about it in the locker room. It's a shame that the numbers are now rising again, also for the tournament. But there are hygiene rules, regular tests for us, and we will live in a hotel with our own floor. We can't travel to Spain with fear.

SPIEGEL: FC Bayern will also be represented at the final tournament. The club has just signed many young international players. Why not you too?

Oberdorf: I only heard that Bayern were interested. But I found Wolfsburg more appealing. Also, the way football is played here suits me very well. Wolfsburg is very dominant, when I used to play against them with my ex-club Essen, we had about ten percent of ball possession.

SPIEGEL: What exactly is more appealing about Wolfsburg than about Munich?

Oberdorf: Everyone wants to go to Munich, at least as a tourist. Living there can be hectic though. I don't think I can make it to training in five minutes with the traffic. It's important to me to be in an environment with short journeys. Here in Wolfsburg, we almost all live close together, I'm only five minutes away from where Sara Doorsoun lives. I need this closeness to feel comfortable.

SPIEGEL: At the age of 18, you are now playing in the oldest team in the league - the average age of Wolfsburg women so far was just under 27. How is the difference noticeable?

Oberdorf: Oh, that's why they brought me in, to lower their average age! No, I'm lucky that, despite my age, I'm already far in my development. My parents did well. Honestly? Sometimes the players here are still like children in their heads.

SPIEGEL: Does it annoy you to be constantly asked about your age?

Oberdorf: I think it's good to be asked about it again and again. So it stays in the memory. Many media outlets forget that i am only 18 years old. But I am not a little chicken anymore.

SPIEGEL: There is a lot of discussion in Germany about the future of women's football. How do you rate the progress?

Oberdorf: The path is good, but the goal has not yet been reached. There could be even more. When the men have an international match, an advertising poster hangs on each advertising pylon. If we have a top game, it only hangs on one in ten. There is still a lot of work to be done.

SPIEGEL: Who do you see especially as taking that responsibility?

Oberdorf: Us players first. We need to use our reach in social media a lot more to bring this sport in the forefront. DFB and the clubs can certainly improve a lot when I think about marketing. the women's department is already well known here in Wolfsburg, even as a newcomer, I am often recognized on the streets.

SPIEGEL: Can you imagine being a strong voice in your sport going forward?

Oberdorf: At 18 you're not taken that seriously. But later i can certainly use my fame as a footballer.

SPIEGEL: You are a fan of FC Schalke. Does it annoy you that there - and also with their biggest rival Borussia Dortmund - they are not betting on professional women's football?

Oberdorf: Absolutely, even if I wouldn't switch to them right away. It's important that such clubs are betting on women's football. Also from an international point of view, it makes a huge difference, whether I receive an offer from Schalke 04 or from SGS Essen. A derby between Dortmund and Schalke would also appeal to a lot more viewers.

SPIEGEL: Schalke now established women's football in mass sports - they're starting in Kreisliga B (8th division).

Oberdorf: Always these excuses.

SPIEGEL: Is popular sport an excuse?

Oberdorf: If so, then do it right - with the aim of playing in Bundesliga. Other clubs show that it's possible.

SPIEGEL: There has been a small revolution in the Netherlands: Ellen Fokkema, a female player, will play in the future for a men's team in the 7th division. Do you find such a concept appealing?

Oberdorf: Yes, I do. I've played with guys for a very long time and benefited from them - I've become more robust, more assertive. I would have spent more time in a boys' team if that had been possible. But the question is whether a female player can help the men. Can she take it physically? At some point I came to the point where conflicts arose, it doesn't have to be of a sporting nature at all, but i can also be that you no longer find common topics of conversation. When suddenly only German rap was the topic in the locker room, at first, I couldn't even say anything.

SPIEGEL: At SPIEGEL, we repeatedly receive letters from readers that football is a men's sport and that women are simply not good enough for it. Have you ever been confronted with hatred?

Oberdorf: There is a story that I can remember. In the B-Jugend, a boy once said to me on the football field: "Why are you here? Go back to the kitchen." Then I just thought we are going to sort it out on the pitch. The guy never won a duel. That was my answer.

[moony-jamie]

Okay long post that may or may not be shorter than expected but here we go. (I just wrote everything and it's pretty long, I think)

This will mostly be about things that happened in the past few weeks that made me emotional? Kinda? Stuff I want to talk about aka screaming it into the void that tumblr is. (Apparently it's mostly about football and my exams)

I'll put it under a keep reading thing, hopefully it works.

Okay where do I start?

I feel like I spend more time being emotional about football than worrying about my finals. Magdeburg was involved most of the time but also football that shares one braincell and the DFB hasn't seen it in a long time.

But let's start at the beginning.

On the 8th of May 46 years ago Magdeburg won the Cup Winners' Cup. Since it looked like the season will be cancelled and Magdeburg could go into a financial crisis, the fans organised a fundraising event in which they sold tickets for an imaginary trip to Rotterdam to win the cup a second time. This started around the 5th of April and went on for a month.

Obviously I got a ticket too and spend a whole week basically camping in front of my mailbox waiting for it. It took five days and I cried when it came.

It's beautiful, I love it a lot, one of my favourite players singed it, I'm in love.

They even managed to show the game in a re-live so that's the story how I screamed and cried after my English exam because we won the cup (again).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qBL15JPO4g

And well then this video made me cry again and I feel like I spend more time crying over Magdeburg than actually studying for the exams but it's time well spend I guess.

(And no we didn't actually went to Rotterdam it was all imagination but it was great anyway)

During all of this Magdeburg desperately tried to get Milan's attention (for a possible rematch in four years for the 50th anniversary) by tweeting at them in badly translated Italian. Honestly that club is as dumb as I am and I love them a lot.

Apart from that football was all about pain the past weeks, starting with the fact that I can't scream my emotions out during football games? Like idk if it's a good coping mechanism or not but screaming for 90 minutes straight always helped me a lot.

Now I'm really mad that the DFB decided to start Bundesliga behind closed doors because first of all the Bundesliga is nothing without it's fans. Second, ending the season early would be the better option but well I told myself to calm so I will do calm.

BUT THEN they won't stop arguing about the 3. Liga and honestly I'm done with this shit. At least Magdeburg is the club with the braincells and said they want to end the season (I guess I chose the right club to stan).

The thing is Magdeburg isn't legally allowed to train or even play here in Saxony Anhalt but well apparently the DFB doesn't care and is now pressuring the politics into either allowing them to play or they will take away Magdeburg's (and Halle's) license and honestly that is so fucked up I can't believe it's actually happening.

Football, what a fun sport to stan :)

Enough about football tho, lets get into the important stuff. Or well the reason I actually took a break from tumblr.

My exams went surprisingly well despite the fact that I had to stop studying at some point because it just stressed me out.

It all started off with my Chemistry exam which was pretty easy. Besides my business administration exam it was the one that stressed me out a lot because I almost failed the mock exam and I just had a bad feeling overall.

But then I saw the tasks and everything was so easy?? Of course I started stressing again because I was finished with still an hour to go but then my classmate told me that she saw the teacher grading it and I had a lot of points already and?? I was so relieved?? Honestly I could've cried.

My English exam was the next one, two days after Chemistry.

There are two main parts in this one. The first one is the listening comprehension (nightmare of every German student) the second one is the written part.

In my school we have one room that has a very good acoustic in which the listening part wouldn't be a problem but due to Corona they talked about closing it because it might be unfair when it couldn't be used for everyone that wrote the more difficult exam (I not in the mood to explain the whole system right now but if you want to know more about it dm me).

Thursday I wrote my English teacher if she knows how it's planned right now and she confirmed that they will be using this room and that I will be in this room for the listening part. That was the first time I actually cried because of my exams.

Now English wasn't particularly bad but I have a weird feeling about it. We will see once I'll get the results.

My German exam was the next one and just like with the English exam I have a weird feeling but we'll have to see.

I got good results in both of my mocks so hopefully it will be fine.

The last one was my business administration exam and oh boy. I was stressing so much, I couldn't look at my notes without having a breakdown and it was bad, really bad.

I was praying for marketing to be a big part but of course my prayers weren't heard and there wasn't a single sign of it at all.

BUT luckily the main part of the exam was easy. Well not too easy but it was a topic where I didn't think they would make it the main part but they did. It was about loans.

Well we better don't talk about the rest of it but if my calculations are right I should get the required points.

I really don't want to get hopes up but I'm pretty sure I made it.

There is one exam left still but it will be some time around June and hopefully pretty easy so I'm not stressing too much right now.

Now that I finished the hardest part I hate how everyone was stressing me even more. People basically tell you that if you don't start studying months and months in advance you won't make it but?? No, it's not that.

I can't speak for other exams of course because well maybe we had a Corona bonus or whatever but I don't think so.

It really seems to be easy (at least for all the nightmare stories I always heard).

Also wtf F1? I walk out of my German exam and see that Vettel left Ferrari. Got my crying the whole day because well I don't mind him leaving Ferrari as much as I mind should he retire. I really don't want that.

And then I walk out of the business exam and they announce Carlos to Ferrari and Dan to McLaren. As if I wasn't emotional enough, F1 really decided to play with my feelings here huh.

But what else happened except for football and exams?

Well I walked my dog every day and saw all kind of animals during so. I don't know if it was because there were less people outside or just because we have a lot of fields and forests in general but it was pretty cool.

We saw rabbits, foxes, deers and even a snake (I only saw a wild snake once in my life so that's pretty cool)

Also managed to took a (bad) picture of a deer, isn't he cute?

Also a week ago my mom convinced me to buy a bunch of guppies for our tank and ever since we got them my betta got herself a goth girlfriend and I'm??? So soft??? For my gay fish??

They're very shy tho and I didn't manage to get a good picture of them yet but it's really cute. They're always hanging around each other.

Last week I was also able to go to the stable again since Jody isn't actually my horse and they only allowed owners on the property to stop the people from taking riding lessons.

This picture is from today, I wanted to take pictures in this field ever since I missed it last year and most of the flowers stopped blooming back then.

But I was able to go back and can go there again now that I have some free time and I'm just so happy.

Unfortunately now they aren't in full bloom either because we missed it again (thanks Corona 🙃) but the picture is nice enough so I don't mind too much.

By now I can't really think of anything else that happened.

As I said I'm now working on my Fanfiction. In theory I wanted it to be done by the end of May but I don't think I will make it but I'm not stressing myself with it either. Every chapter is more or less plotted so I hope writing will go by a little easier.

I don't know how many people actually read it until this point but if you did, thanks 💙

I'm just happy that I got all of it of my chest now since I wanted to talk about all this but I was getting tired to annoy my mom with it.

[kevkesblog]

Translation: Kai Havertz portait in ZEIT newspaper (January 2019)

NOTE: Hey guys! This time I tried something new. I translated an exclusive portrait the german weekly newspaper DIE ZEIT did with Kai in January. They interviewed him as well as Kai’s family. Its very candid and has alot of details. I hope you guys like it, since DIE ZEITs writing is usually very difficult - even for germans. And I apologize for spelling errors as usual. 

The original text in German

Kai Havertz: the peace itself

 (January 23, 2019)

People praise Leverkusens national player Kai Havertz, 19, for his serenity with the ball which put him on the radar of many European top clubs. His parents start to realize that he is likely becoming world famous.

By Jörg Kramer

The most promising german football talent these days picked a table very far behind in an restaurant somewhere in Cologne to order himself some spagetti gnocchi – inconspicuous.

There is no star posturing with Kai Havertz. The 19 year old could even go through as a normal university student; with his bright hoodie and somewhat cheap and not even special occurence.

And with his voice, which has this typical regional dialect, without the typical empty phrases that young football player use to often in order to cover up their meaningless sentences. But people know his face by now. So thats why he doesnt sit right next to the entrance.

He belongs to the celebrities of the football scene. European top clubs are scouting the young men in stadiums, team mates from Bayer Leverkusen praising him and forecasting him to have the potential to become a world star.

He already scored nine goals this season, decided some games by his own and played his first games for the national team. Havertz became the centre of his clubs game by playing at the centre midfield. His role only changed slightly and the importance of his role not at all, since Peter Bosz took over as head coach. He views this very relaxed and talks in an restaurant somewhere in the Belgian Quarter of Cologne about Leverkusen being the „perfect place“ in order to develop as a young player. And thats where he wants to give his all for the last half year ahead. Ooops!

His last half year? That was a slip of the tongue of course, he meant to say the next half year. Because his contract with Bayer is still running until 2022 without an exit clause. But things now are developing in a rapid way which runs parallel to his explosive performance currently. Its just a matter of the perfect timing that someone like him will end up going to Barcelona, Manchester or at least Munich – a choice between summer 2019 or summer 2020 maybe.

Havertz walks over his misspelled sentence like nothing happend. Once in Nuremberg in the middle of a turmoil of an rainy game, it seemed as if he stopped – as if he was reconsidering the situation with him having the ball. Like if somebody pressed a ‚Stop‘-button. And he chiped to ball in an cool and unemoitional and scored.

Coaches and team mates are citizing his body language, he says. So he works on looking more aggresive. He even participates on useless discussions between his teammates and referees after controversial decisions on the pitch, in order to get a penalty for the other team or some revenge. But it doesnt really look good him when he does it, he admits – even after a though tackle or when going after the ball. „I’m a player that shines with his tranquility.“ A nice sentence that gives away his elegante style of play.

Havertz remained an artist on the pitch. Every foul is a sign of weakness. Everytime he gets the ball, which is his job as an offensive player, he never runs into his opponents – he anticipates. „I try to imagine, which options my opponent has, what he would do if I were him.“ He then runs with a planned pass way and he gets the ball.

Havertz learned in the past almost two and a half years all systems and tatics of modern football. Starting with a radical system, almost a raid-strategy under coach Roger Schmidt, by which the goal keeper kicked the ball high and it flew wide over the pitch – almost always directly aimed at Havertz‘ head – because he is 1,88 meters tall.

Then the mixed system under Heiko Herrlich. He always had to look for his team mates before he passed. Now with Bosz, a planfull offensive style with flat passing. He runs through all the chapters. The first began on October 15, 2016.

It was a Saturday. A day where the Havertz family from Mariadorf near Aachen still couldnt realize that their youngest son, will probably end up living off football and perhaps even become famous. They cant really believe it up until today, says Anne Havertz, his mother.

On that day – October 15 – Kai was a youth player, in a big house next to the woods in Mariadorf having breakfast – when suddently coach Schmidt called. Lars Bender, professional Bayer-player who was supposed to play against Werder Bremen that evening, got injured and had to quit. Kai had to come to Bremen, immidiately! His mother drove him to Leverkusen. A special shuttle took him to Bremen. His whole family was sitting in front of the TV that night.

Kai was sitting on the bench as expected. Then, during the 83th minute, the commentator saw already more than the viewes and said: now we are experiencing a debut. Kai Havertz was ready to get subbed. In the real Bundesliga. Anne Havertz said: „Oh my god!“.

(Credit: Instagram: kaihavertz29)

Kai’s mother, who worked as a lawyer until she got pregnant with her eldest son, came to the restaurant in Cologne one day after Kai to talk about life as a family of an future world star. She brought her husband – Kai’s father, and her daughter Lea, Kai’s sister. The sister is studying marketing and digital media in the city.

People can reach his father in an emergency by dailing 1-1-0. He is a police officer working at the police station 3 in Cologne-West. He says he is really impressed, about how cool and routinely his football playing son manages post-game interviews and how we stays cool when people recognize him in public and everybody is watching,

The Havertz family is still perplexed about a football world where colleagues of their son, order their own cooks to cook for them at home. And whenever he puts his legs into an special bag in order to regenerate. Almost the whole family – except his oldest brother and the dog – are having apple pie and salate and looking back at the stages of his career, which started at Alemannia Mariadorf. Kai skiped two age-groups. He then played with older players than actually intended. Then he transfered to Bayer Leverkusen. All because the scout was tough but not intrusive like the other scouts. By the age of ten, Bayer drove Kai to training sessions three times a week.

4 year old Kai Havertz (Credit: kicker tv)

He was still among the smallest players in the team by the age of 14. Then suddently - a growth spurt which resultet in issues with his knees and his back. They were responsible for Kai loosing his fixed spot on the team. This was also the hard time because he left home and moved to Leverkusen. The club doesnt have an academy so he stayed at a guest family – the family of the stadium announcer from Bayer, together with two other players. A year later he moved into an apartement with his older brother, until Jan had to move to Nuremberg – he has a marketing job at adidas now.

A lasting memory: endless discussions within the Havertz family about the overarching question: does the boy need a german high school diploma (Abitur)? Will he pass the tests when he is travelling around with his professional teammates?

Kai Havertz attended the Landrat-Lucas-Gymnasium. An elite school of sports where he could skip classes in the morning for training. But he always had to catch up school stuff from the day. Once he played with Leverkusen at the DFB-Cup at Sportfreunde Lotte. He was subbed late, it went into penalities and after the team was eliminated from the cup he arrived home late – at 3am. At 8am he had an English exam.

The family became a team. His mother and sister helped him with biology exams. One day the young football player said to his family, he has no power left anymore. „But he never said: I want to quit!“ his mother insists. This was a breaking point by which his parents thought about quitting and stop pursuing the Abitur. But suddently coach Roger Schmidt intervened and said Kai should pull through. The whole Bayer team will support him.

The Abitur became a factor of will power, a test of life. The school supervisor of Bayer, a former athlete herself, said something memorable: it will shape his whole life if Kai quits school now. Whenever something becomes difficult, if something goes beyond your pain barrier, he will always have this option to quit in his head, that you can just give up.

Kai Havertz choose the pain, the Abitur. Now he will always choose the hard way if the theory of his supervisor holds.

On this January afternoon in Cologne, he is being asked what other job he would have picked if it wasnt for football. He likes the job as a barber, for men’s hairstyle. He smiles. Some curls are hanging on his forehead from left to right. A Barber. He wouldnt have needed an Abitur for that.

He is a genius at football. He won the German junior championship with Bayer and scored 19 goals in 29 games. He got awarded as a Under-19-player as the best of his age with the Fritz-Walter-medal from the DFB. Kai made it onto second place on his position after Marco Reus from Dortmund in a list of the football magazine „kicker“ which they publish every half year – but seven spaces in front of Munich’s Thomas Müller.

Coach Heiko Herrlich says Havertz reminds him of Toni Kroos. Football critic Reiner Calmund compared him to Franz Beckenbauer. His head goals remind him of Michael Ballack. Mesut Özil was always Kai Havertz idol, because of his tranquility with the ball and his ability to read a game. Sometimes Kai misses the final conciseness in front of the goal, which was visible after the recent 0-1 loss against Borussia Mönchengladbach.

Having the ability to remain calm, even when you get tackled is the result of a deep confidence in your own strenghts: screen your surrondings – in short time if necessary – and then make the right decision. Joachim Löw praises Havertz „good orientation“, something he said about Özil years ago. What he means is a certain sense of space on the pitch – an inner compass. Something that has to do with attention and memory. Havertz, who is a master of navigation, doesn’t even need practice. Some creatures have special senses and are able to find orientation on earth through a magnetic field – like migratory birds for example.

Kai Havertz likes watching Champions League games. And while watching them, there is always a wish inside him to participate as well whenever the big games of the quarter- and semifinals are on. „I think you can only reach that level by going to a top club at some point“ he says.

Mother, father and sister Havertz say, they don’t expect things from him. Something they never did in his career. But if someone asks them, who will follow Kai in a foreign country to get used to everything – they start to think about it. They would alternate. One week his mother would visit, next week his sister and then his grandmother maybe.

Kai Havertz still has a room back home in Mariadorf. Back in the day he used to have posters from FC Barcelona. So it could happen maybe one day, that youngsters in Barcelona will have posters with Kai Havertz on them.

++END++

[3one3]

The Sequel - 799

Thursday Night Inaction

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

Why am I so tired, Christina thought groggily when she realized she’d slept through at least 30 minutes of Europa League action. It was not her intention to lie down immediately after eating dinner and pass out. In fact, she usually made sure to remain upright for a while after eating in order to give her stomach a proper chance at tackling the food. Am I turning into him? He falls asleep whether he’s tired or not. There was no need to question why Juan was snoring through the Thursday Cup. He didn’t care about sitting up after dinner. He got comfortable, and then Christina got comfortable next to and on top of him, and then Mourinho’s team put them both to sleep. It was halftime when the rider woke up.

I don’t want to move. I wanna go back to sleep. But if I sleep for like two hours right now, am I going to struggle to go to bed later? I can’t stay up all night and sleep in. Espen doesn’t get here until 9 so I have to do the baby, before he climbs out of his crib and tries to pee on his giraffe or something, she thought, trying to be still as she yawned and not wake her friend too. From her vantage point on the left of his chest, his evening nap looked peaceful and nice too. I wonder what he’s dreaming about. If I were him I think I would probably have dreams about scoring crazy goals all the time, or anxiety dreams, caught in some weird situations with me and Taylor. Or maybe he has some totally unrelated dreams, where he’s just a guitar playing hipster kid, unfamous, under the radar, enjoying public transportation and meeting genuine girls. How many different ways would he try to hurt me if I broadcast his nap on Instagram Live right now? Where’s his phone? It would be funnier to do it on his own account, for his fans. I don’t know how many of his fans still follow me. Probably just the girls. His four and a half million followers would find a live stream of his nap far more entertaining than my half a million. The Daily Mail would probably publish a story about it. Such scandal. Friend falls asleep at friend’s house, on the couch, fully clothed, with a dog on his lap. Actual headline: “Mou’s Man United puts Mata to sleep with lonely Christina Schürrle”.

Christina managed to get through the first few minutes of the second half and then dozed off again. Like her dogs, it was very difficult for her to resist a nap when in a comfortable position and in contact with a warm, steady-breathing body. She had a little dream about being in an airport and unable to find the right departure gate for her flight. It was kind of distressing, but not enough to wake her. Juan’s phone did that. It was about 10 o’clock and his dad had something to tell him. His ex-girlfriend really hated it when dads have something to communicate to their sons when she was trying to do things with said sons. André’s dad interrupted many a nap. André responded to her irritation by teasing her for secretly just being jealous of people who actually take calls from their dad, but that stopped when hers was no longer able to call. She texted the German while the Spaniard wandered around the house on the phone.

“Tell me something good to try to have dreams about tonight,” she requested of her partner, who she figured was getting ready for bed. He would have had late training since the team played Wednesday night, which would mean no afternoon nap, which would mean early to bed. Borussia Dortmund lost 1-0 to Benfica. They created about a million chances to score and nobody could get the ball in the net. Marco missed gimmes. Auba wasted good opportunities and blew a penalty. They had complete control over the game but couldn’t get a goal, and the one they conceded was mostly a goalkeeping error. André got to play a bit towards the end, but Marco and Auba came off and left him with the sort of second tier of attacking players to try to make something work. It didn’t. And the team’s next match, against Wolfsburg, would happen without the encouragement of the 20,000-strong Südtribune, closed by decree of the DFB as punishment for the actions of violent ultras against Bundesliga culture outcasts RB Leipzig. No one could argue that the situation at the club wasn’t growing tense.

“How about landscaping? Do you want to get some gardener people in to make everything beautiful? I know it’s winter but spring is coming!!! Dream about your stable and our nice home dressed up in plants and flowers :)))” the team’s #21 suggested with a small smile on his face. He was in the process of transferring from video games on the couch to a movie in bed, and he liked that Christina wanted to have a good dream, and even more so that she asked him for an idea. The one he gave her rose from his longstanding belief that nice landscaping is a sign of class and care. He liked when people took pride in the impression given by their home, inside and out. Having tidy plantings could really make a property look nice, and most importantly, make it look like a place people care about. André wanted his wife to develop an emotional attachment to their new home, because he thought that would mean she was happy there. One of the first things he did when he wanted to get her back from Juan was get the guys in charge of keeping the grounds presentable to go plant bushes and flowers at the barn so that it looked inviting and permanent to her when he brought her there to see it. Landscaping was like a sign of roots to him. It was like the opposite of an apartment full of Ikea furniture with nothing on the walls and no signs of “homeyness”.

“So your son can “water” these plants?”

“Once again, why is he MY son when he does something bad and YOUR son when he says a difficult new word?” André thought Lukas trying to pee on a potted plant was the funniest thing ever. He died laughing when he got the text about it, and the photo of the puddle on the dining room floor. He sent a screenshot of the message and picture to all his friends. Marco replied that Noah “rage peed” on things now and then to get back at people for punishing him or preventing him from doing something he wanted. Things included his two-year-old cousin. André decided not to warn his girl that they could be in for that sort of thing.

“Because it’s your genes that compel him to do bad things. I would never pee on a plant.”

“No, you just pee behind garbage dumpsters.”

“I had no choice! He literally doesn’t have to do anything to pee. He can just go. If I had a diaper on that night then I wouldn’t have peed behind a dumpster.”

“If you were the kind of person who goes out drinking in an adult diaper, I don’t think we’d know each other.”

“Are you going to leave me when I’m old and have to wear diapers? :(“

“I’m sure I’ll be in them before you, and probably with dementia, so I won’t know who you are anyway.”

“That’s depressing. I don’t want us to get old.”

“Where is the chocolate cake, my angel of delicious food?” Juan groan-sighed as he suddenly gripped Christina’s shoulders from behind the couch. “I need more cake.”

“Angel of delicious food?” she asked back skeptically.

“I don’t know. I was winging it.”

“You’re making angel puns now?”

“Just one. I need cake though.”

“Why?” The rider leaned her head back on the couch cushion to get a look at the weary sounding footballer. “Restaurant problems?”

“He wants to change the name. Materials have already been ordered. Permits are already in writing. It’s all been tested, and there is a whole marketing plan. I want to suffocate him with a flour sack.” He covered her mouth with his hand to demonstrate his frustration, but the rider’s cheeks lifted and scrunched into her eyes to prove she was smiling under there anyway. It was novel for something to go wrong for him, or for him to appear stressed about something that wasn’t to do with her or his girlfriend. Also, she rather liked it when he covered her mouth. “I need more cake and coconut whipped cream.”

“Both are in the fridge,” she told him when he slid his palm down to the front of her throat to knead her neck. “I have vanilla frozen yogurt too if you want to heat up your piece of cake and make an epic stress dessert out of it and have scary dreams from all the sugar right before bed. Speaking of bed- are you staying?”

“I brought my pajamas.” The Chelsea man gestured down at his adidas shorts as if having changed into them was a guarantee that he was sleeping over. Christina didn’t really need to ask, regardless of his outfit. She couldn’t remember the last time he came over and didn’t stay. “Do you want cake?” Juan questioned, evidently satisfied that the question of where he was sleeping had been settled.

“No thank you.”

He pinched her nose before turning to head to the kitchen, and left her to return to her texting. André said they were a long way from getting old. He said she didn’t look a day over the day he met her, which evoked laughter.

“I wish I could say the same about you, babe. But you’ve aged like 10 years in about 5.”

“You’re so mean to me. I gave you chocolate pretzels.”

“I gave you a child.”

“Yeah but he pees on plants.”

“I was talking to Nat earlier about how I need to pack some things before the movers come, like my jewelry and our vital paperwork, and sex toys. I have 3 questions. What should I actually do with that stuff since I’m not coming back here between Sweden and Germany? I don’t want to fly with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and our un-lose-able documents and keep them in a hotel safe. And how are we moving the cars?”

“Do you want to fly home on Weds and drive one of them here? You could lock everything in the boot before you go to the horse show.”

Not really, Christina thought. I don’t want to road trip between Spain and moving, and I don’t want to drive across a bunch of countries with a car full of valuables. Just imagine if Stef and I got in an accident, or someone tried to carjack us when we stop for food. A scruffy man with cake sat next to her Indian style and smelled like burning chocolate.

“Sure you don’t want any?�� he asked.

“No. How long did you microwave it? Five minutes?”

“Thirty seconds. It’s perfect. What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out how to get my jewelry and important files to Dortmund. I don’t want to leave that to the movers or fly with all of it since I’m going all over the place,” she explained before giving André an answer about driving.

“You could leave it with me and take some whenever you go back and forth. How many files are you talking about?” Juan wolfed down a big chunk of cake with melting frozen yogurt and stiff whipped cream made from the solids that separate in cans of coconut milk.

“Not many. It’s like birth certificates, Lukas stuff, horse registrations. It’s more the jewelry I’m worried about. Like your diamond, and a drawer full of Cartier.”

“Why don’t you just use an insured shipping service to send it in the mail? People ship very valuable things like that all the time,” he shrugged before taking another big bite. Just looking at that is making my teeth hurt, the rider thought, her fingers tapping on the edges of her phone, knowing André was waiting for a reply. Not that I wouldn’t eat it. It also looks delicious. “Are you sure you don’t want a bite?”

“Yes. And it’s not the money I’m worried about. I don’t want to lose the things. I have so many pieces that mean the world to me- stuff my dad gave me before I hated him, stuff I wore like everyday when I was younger, special Schü gifts, your diamond.”

“Why do you keep calling it my diamond? It’s yours. It’s not like I gave it to you on loan.”

“I dunno.” Christina shrugged and told André she’d figure something out.

“I don’t want to drive. At least not that day. Can’t we ship the cars? Or I’ll come back and get them later. I’m sure there will be some reason that I have to come back here that week.”

“I guess. I’m going to sleep. Love youuuuuuuuuuuuu.”

“Love you. Nighties.”

“André?”

“Sí.”

“How is he?”

“Do you actually care?”

“Not especially. This is so good. I feel sick already, eating it, but it’s delicious.” The Spanish player made a face of mixed agony and joy, like he was professing his love to his cake while also breaking up with it over a long standing family feud or something. Christina laughed because it reminded her of herself when she was drunk, particularly when she was very drunk and granted the great pleasure of binge eating pizza. She believed that was the most intense love/hate relationship in her life- delicious, yummy, hot, gooey pizza that helped her not feel sick from drinking too much, but pizza she knew she was going to throw up later, or that would cement itself to her thighs.

“Chocolate fixes almost everything on the stress spectrum. And that cake at least isn’t full of white flour and butter. It’s like almost not totally terrible for you. Or it was until you covered it in frozen yogurt and whipped cream made from fat,” she smiled at the player savoring his dessert.

“If you had let me give you that diamond as I originally intended to, in an engagement ring, I would be so fat right now. If we lived together all this time?”

“I doubt that. You’d eat out less if I were cooking for you at home every day, and that’s automatically better for you even if I do make things like cake and fried chicken and giant dishes of macaroni and cheese sometimes. And- newsflash- that would have been a disaster anyway.” Christina frowned and patted her blanket down in her lap to invite Spencer to sit with her. Both pups were on their feet and on alert for cake crumbs. The tricolor one indeed moved over onto her, but he wasn’t ready to get comfortable and be petted. Juan was studying her while she was trying to get the dog’s attention.

“What would be a disaster?”

“I was going to live with you half the week and down here half the week because we couldn’t find a place for the horses, remember? I’m pretty sure I know now  that that arrangement doesn’t work. Husband in one place and horses in another is too hard.” Her sudden onslaught of sadness and resignation was met with total nonchalance.

“Yeah but I would never let it get like that, like how it’s been for you. I told you that.”

“Why do you guys like to say shit like that? Like you can magically just fix problems? Then you don’t actually do it, and you don’t keep the promise, and then it’s worse. Then it’s not just the original problem, but also the letdown.” They’re all the same, the rider decided. At least all the guys I fall for, anyway. They want to fix everything, and take care of everything for me, and instead they make me go through hell while they realize it isn’t actually going to happen the way they wanted and promised.

“I say it because I mean it,” her ex shrugged, fork poised to capture some soupy vanilla and coconut mix. “If it didn’t work for us, I would have bought a facility near Manchester. You didn’t want to do that because of the cost, not because no acceptable place existed. And if you didn’t like it there, I would change clubs.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Yes I would. I would have changed that summer if it didn’t work for us.”

“No you wouldn’t. That would be silly.”

“I left there in the next window after that anyway, entirely because of you. It wasn’t right there without you, and I wanted to be closer to you to repair our relationship. I want to play football and have a good life off the pitch. It doesn’t matter that much where the two things happen.”

“Yeah but you’re saying that like your priorities are different and more noble than Schü’s,” the brunette with the bun argued. “He had to leave to be able to play.”

“Says who? You don’t think he could have done the job Marcos is doing? Marcos is no defender and he has half the ability going forward as André, and less pace. He was playing last year, and with a new manager coming in you don’t know what the situation is in June. He didn’t have to leave. He didn’t have to make the decision and then figure out how to handle it after, either.” Juan’s mouth was full of yummy cake but his voice was full of distaste. He’d harbored real disdain over what “André did” to Christina’s family, and never really let on about it until that night. His eyebrows got angry, which was something she seldom saw happen in any kind of serious way. Her response was mixed, because she didn’t like hearing her partner attacked but did like that someone wanted to speak up for better treatment for her. “If he was thinking of going, he could have figured out first where you would live and how long it would take to be ready. If he knew it would take half a year, then he could have waited and made the move in January. It’s trickier with the clubs, yes, but when you don’t even know what you’re trying to leave yet, what harm is there? And if the new club doesn’t want you badly enough to wait, are you really that important to them? Is it really going to be the situation you want? Family comes first for me. You come first. Never would I put you or any girl I love this way through what he has- not just this time, but last time too.”

“He let me decide, though.” Her defense for André was meek, and based mostly in her sense of loyalty rather than injustice. “He didn’t make a unilateral decision and force me to go along with it. I told him it was okay.”

“He only asked because he knew you wouldn’t say no. Just as I would never force that situation on you, you would never make him miss out on something he wants. You couldn’t even say no to him when he broke your heart into a hundred pieces and made you question if there was any point to living anymore. You only had that situation in the first place because you wouldn’t risk upsetting him during a football tournament to be honest and tell him you were in trouble and needed some help, some understanding. He asked you because he knew you would put his needs and his career first, like you always have. Don’t fool yourself into thinking anything else. It has nothing to do with your career and your life being more flexible than his, or his chances being more temporary, or any other way you justify your thinking. You just can’t say no to him.”

“Why are you so angry about this all of a sudden?” Christina asked, exasperated by the fervent ranting happening beside her on the couch. Cake crumbs were spilling out of the player’s mouth into his bowl because he was talking so fast and wouldn’t stop trying to eat at the same time.

“All of a sudden? Are you kidding?” he laughed.

“No.”

“I’m angry about this all the time! I’m angry that you woke up on Christmas Eve and called to tell me you love me and couldn’t wait to get home from the horse show so that you could be with me on Christmas and be one day closer to living together and having everything we want, and by the end of that night you were ignoring everything you felt in the morning simply because he asked you to. He asked you to ignore your feelings and go back to him based on his own feeling that you were supposed to be together, and you couldn’t say no! You just gave in. Don’t even try to tell me that it was the right decision either. You know better than anyone that your relationship with him has never gone back to the same. You get to the verge of leaving him every 6 months! You have the permanent doubt. You made this situation for yourself because you couldn’t deny him something he wanted. I’m never not angry about this. For you, and for myself. I’m never not angry that he can treat you like absolute shit and get away with it while I do everything you’re supposed to do when you truly love someone, and what I get for it is to be your backup boyfriend when you can’t be with him.”

Christina didn’t like being talked at. Juan was talking at her. He was complaining, and argumentative without arguing. He was frustrated, angry, aggrieved, disappointed, and condescending in a way his friend was quite familiar with. Every now and then he managed to make her feel very small and stupid, and she really hated that. It upset her instead of making her angry though. When people she cared about made her feel dumb, it was upsetting. When anyone else took a shot at her, it was an invitation for her to destroy them, and she usually accepted.  The Spaniard also dropped truth on her all the time, and she couldn’t say what he ranted about was entirely wrong. In fact, nearly all of it was correct.

“You’re right,” she said after a brief pause to organize her thoughts and pet her dog. “But not about why I went back to him. It wasn’t because I just didn’t want to say no. I wanted him to be in love with me. I wanted to know that he was always in love with me and that I wasn’t stupid for thinking all that time that he was and always would be. I went back to him because he convinced me that he never stopped, or- I guess- I guess I should say he convinced me that he could convince me. I didn’t fully believe him that night, but I wanted to. I had no idea what to do, or how I felt, or what would happen. He convinced me that he was going to show me that he loves me forever no matter what. We get in fights now because he keeps giving me reasons to think he doesn’t.”

“And me? Do you ever think I don’t?” a smug looking midfielder questioned.

“No.”

“Why do so many intelligent girls choose a man they don’t believe really loves them over one they know does?”

“Just because he sometimes does things that make me think he doesn’t love me the way I want doesn’t mean he doesn’t actually love me. It just means I take things the wrong way.”

“What difference does it make if he really loves you if he makes you feel like he doesn’t? What do you want in life? To feel loved, or to be told you are?”

“Juanin, I am a grown up with a family. I have a son. I have a husband that I love dearly. We’ve been through a ton of terrible shit together and he’s still my partner in life. I’m not just going to leave him because sometimes he makes me feel bad, or feel like he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. I’m not 16. It’s not a fairytale. We don’t just throw away relationships, and families, because-“

“Okay, stop, stop, I get it,” Juan sighed. He put his fork down, leaving about two bites worth of cake left in the dish with it. He rolled his eyes too. “I’m just saying, don’t give him more credit than he deserves. It messes with your head. You think you owe him when you don’t. You don’t hold him accountable when you’re entitled. That makes you...It diminishes you, in a way, cariña,” he advised with earnestness and humility. “It makes you weaker, and when you feel weak in one area then it spreads to the others like cancer.”

“I know. I know what you’re saying. You’re not wrong. And I’m...like working on all of that. And I never forget that it’s different with you.” The rider rubbed his left arm, slowly and with real purpose. His forearm was warm, and her fingertips carefully rooted under the dark hairs to lift them almost one at time. She thought she knew what was really going on, and that it didn’t actually have that much to do with the injustice of her relationships with the two players. “I know you love me, and you always make me feel very loved, and I love you too, so I know how hard it is for you when you think someone doesn’t understand how much you care, or how much you’re trying to do the right things. Or when they don’t appreciate it. I appreciate very much that you always make sure you treat me like nothing in the world is more important to you, and I’m sure your dad appreciates the work you’re doing for the restaurant. I’m sure he’s not trying to change stuff because he doesn’t realize what you’re trying to do for him and that you’ve already made plans. He probably just didn’t think about it from that side. Everybody gets kind of single-minded in their pursuit of personal projects like that. It’s easy to ignore one’s better judgement when wrapped up in a dream. Don’t let it upset you.”

“You’re a sweet girl, cariña,” the blue Blue sighed with a halfhearted smile. He reached over the bowl in his left hand to pat her knee with the right.