#for ourselves for our loved ones for ppl on the periphery of our circles like everyone we brush shoulders with
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#meg talks#suicide tw#nearly everyone i care abt rn is like so very suicidal rn and it’s making me. ghghfh#(IMPORTANT NOTE this is not me saying ‘’don’t talk to me abt suicide rn’’ i do not ever mind talking abt it ever ever#i am not ranting rn about not being able to handle the subject or complaining abt ppl talking to me abt it that’s not what this is i prommy)#im just. the realization that there are ppl who go their whole lives without ever thinking that much abt suicide#and then there’s those of who are disabled and/or queer and for us it’s just. a constant#for ourselves for our loved ones for ppl on the periphery of our circles like everyone we brush shoulders with#the amount of time we have to spend talking ourselves and others into just staying a while longer#bc it’s so fucking hard to conceptualize a future for ourselves for so many reasons#and even harder to make that future viable bc it depends on other people helping us#it just makes me want to fucking. idk! break something!#like how do you make people understand this if they’ve never been through it#and how do you convince them that it’s worth it to try and understand where we’re coming from#when their default way of thinking abt it is that you only get to this point if u do smth wrong or just don’t try hard enough#or are some kind of moocher trying to exploit ppl who ‘’work harder’’#i fucking hate this so much#i just keep thinking about engels’ explanation of social murder#and getting so angry i feel fucking ill#people are fucking killing my friends and it’s like all i can do is like…#try my best to plug whatever wounds i can manage meanwhile the killer is still fucking stabbing them over and over#anyway. god. again none of this is to say i don’t wanna hear abt suicide or anything#i like to know and be able to talk abt it frankly#especially if there’s even the smallest thing i can do to help#im just like. suddenly hit w the disbelief of how many ppl go their whole lives without having these conversations#while me and my friends are having them multiple times a day bc it’s so fucking bad out here#insert disco elysium quote about the mask of humanity falling from capital as it kills your sweet courageous friends here i guess.#i just. wish things were better. how can people not wish that
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