#the amount of time we have to spend talking ourselves and others into just staying a while longer

[palms-upturned]

.

[aagneauu]

High value habits to elevate yourself 🥂✨

When the term "high value" is mentioned, we often think of things related exclusively to economic wealth, but being a high-value person is an attitude, an attribute founded on habits and a wealthy mentality. So today I wanted to mention a few habits that I personally perceive as something a person with strong standards apply on their lives. ✨

Sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language :b

1. Long-term mentality ✦

Enjoying yourself is very important, but when we only think about the things that give us temporary pleasure, is often very likely that we forget to take care about our future stability. For example, if you want to travel, the smart thing to do would be to save the money in order to be able to afford it, but how many times we just feel the urge to waste money on unnecessary stuff just to get that brief satisfaction, that bad habit will take us far from our goals. This rule can be applied on almost every aspect, and if you're able to stick to your goals and take decisions according to them, trust me, you'll get very far.

2. Invest ✦

Stop wasting and start investing; your money, your time and your energy. In terms of money, you obviously can spend some of it on pretty stuff, but instead of wasting your whole salary on things you want, a smarter move would be to use part of that money to invest it on something that potentially can give us another income, maybe there's a valuable peace of jewelry or clothing that not only we could use, but to sell and trade in the future, or even if you have enough money saved, you can invest in a property, to not only live in it, but to rent it. Our time and energy works in the same way, we could be wasting our time and energy with people that don't give us nothing we can learn from, and you're worth way more than that. Find people and habits that not only make you feel good and appreciated, but that will leave you something interesting for your personal growth, and remember, better alone than in a bad company.

3. Details matter ✦

How we talk, how we decide to present ourselves to the world, our values, the effort we put on what we make. Every little detail says something about us. For example, something as simple as spraying perfume before we go out makes a difference, or if you study, the amount of time and effort you decide to put on certain classes. Socially, what you decide to say, and to develop the hability to stay quiet when necessary. Maybe you think that those little things don't make a huge difference at the long-term, but when you see how your life can change drastically with every little step you take, you learn to pay attention to it.

4. Patience ✦

It is a strong word, it is even harder to apply to our lives sometimes. Being patient not only with people, but with our circumstances. Sometimes things that we don't like happens, and we don't even understand why because we thought that we did everything right, but everything happens for a reason, it's like a fruit, you could take it out of the tree earlier because you're hungry, but it isn't that mature and tasty, but if you just wait, resist the hunger, the fruit will be way better. That applies to money, emotional growth and life changes. Learn to understand that sometimes, pain will be the sign to something better than your current situation.

5. Stop following the crowd ✦

Set standards and learn what is good for you, if you just rely on others to decide what is best for you, or even worse; you know something is bad for you and still do it for others, then expect low quality experiences. People time to time will call you boring or even extreme just because you decide to be loyal to your values. If something that everyone is doing seems beneficial, do it, but because it gives you something valuable, not because of the crowd. You can apply this rule to everything; friends, money, and other experiences. The amount ot peace and comfort that you can get with this transformation is a huge life upgrade.

This were some topics that come to mind when the "high value" term is mentioned. And remember, no one is perfect and every little thing makes us unique. Life is a long journey that you can decide to upgrade with every little move.

Hope u enjoyed! ♡

[spaceman-earthgirl]

Supercorptober 2023 Day 3: Kara

As I mentioned on the previous post and on ao3, I won't be doing all the prompts this year but I will do my best to do a decent amount of them! I'll be posting them all both on here and ao3. Enjoy!

ao3 fic link. series link.

Alex knows something is wrong. She knows her sister, has been watching her all night, and something is definitely up.

The whole night her movements have looked controlled, like she’s holding herself together, or holding herself back. Which is entirely confusing because she also can’t stop smiling. Yes, on movie nights like this, Kara is usually happy, spending time with her two favourite people, but this is different.

It’s not until halfway through the movie that Kara pauses it before excusing herself to the bathroom, and Alex takes her chance. If she doesn’t have the opportunity to talk to Kara alone, then Lena is the next best thing.

Alex waits until she hears the lock click on the bathroom door, then waits a few more seconds before she uses the chance while she has it.

When she looks back at Lena, she finds her smiling down at her phone. Alex knows that smiles, and it almost derails her Kara questioning just so she can find out who Lena is texting because that’s definitely the smile of someone with a crush. But that can wait, she needs to check on her sister first.

“Is Kara ok?”

Lena startles at the question, dropping her phone. Something flickers across her face before Lena schools her features. “What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t seem different tonight? She hasn’t stop smiling,” Alex gestures to the other side of the couch Lena is on, to where Kara has spent the evening sitting on her own. “But she also isn’t sitting curled up beside you like she usually would.” Alex frowns. “Has something happened between the two of you?”

Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, but Alex’s mind is already spinning through other scenarios, so she misses it.

Is that what this is? Alex has always wondered if Kara may have a little crush on Lena. Despite Alex’s teasing, Kara has always denied it. But if Lena is seeing someone, then maybe Kara is probably upset about that.

But that doesn’t explain the smiling.

“No that can’t be it, she seems too happy for you guys to be fighting.”

Lena hesitates. “Maybe you should just talk to Kara.”

Alex is frowning again. “So, she hasn’t spoken to you either?”

Lena pauses. “No, she has, but she’ll want to talk to you about it herself.”

Alex is stopped from continuing her questioning when the bathroom door open and Kara returns, retaking her seat far too far away from Lena to be normal.

Kara pauses when she realises they’re both silent and watching her. “Are you two okay?”

Alex opens her mouth but she’s beaten to answering by Lena.

Except Lena doesn’t answer out loud, she leans forward and whispers something to Kara.

There’s a long moment where they share hushed whispers, Alex wishing she was the one with super hearing because the confusion is killing her.

“What’s going on?” Alex finally asks, the wait getting the best of her.

Kara and Lena both turn to face Alex. “So,” Kara starts. “I have something to tell you.” Kara takes Lena’s hand, threads their fingers together. “Or we have something to tell you.” Kara’s grinning again. “Lena and I are dating.”

Alex’s mouth drops open. Of all the things Alex had expected it to be, it wasn’t this.

“It’s new, we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit, but we were going to tell you soon.”

“Well, trying to stay away from Lena was dumb if you were trying to act normal, you two can’t stay away from each other.” Alex pauses. “Which suddenly makes a lot of sense, maybe I should have seen this coming.”

Alex stands, reaching out to pull Kara up too, wrapping her in a big hug. “I’m so happy for you.” She tugs Lena in too. “I’m so happy for you both.”

Kara’s absolutely beaming when they all release each other, but then she looks at Lena and Alex really feels dumb for missing this because she’s never seen two people look so in love as Kara and Lena do looking at each other right now.

“No kissing in front of me though please, I don’t think I could handle that,” Alex adds. She truly is happy for them both, but Kara is still her sister.

“No promises,” Lena winks and suddenly Alex wishes she hadn’t pried.

[bad268]

It's Always Been Minho Pt. 2 (TMR Minho X Reader)

Fandom: The Maze Runner

Requested: Yeah, i saw yall asking for part 2 so here it is (thanks @dearestwonderland for the idea! I strayed a bit (a lot) but I left it open for a potential part 3)

Warnings: WICKED

POV: First POV (I/me/she/her)

W.C. 2305

Summary: They survived, but at what cost?

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<- Part 1

~~(^Google/Wiki fandom)

I couldn’t see. The sun was blaring down more than it ever did in the maze, and the rays reflected off of the never-ending sight of sand. This was nothing like the glade.

The glade was safe to me. Sure, I was running into the maze every other day and nearly killing myself, but other than that, there weren’t random things out to get me. There weren’t natural elements or random people with the flare after me. Out here, it was brutal.

It was also very awkward. I could tell that the boys felt it too. Maybe it was the feelings Minho and I had not talked about. Maybe it was how Teresa really was not a trustworthy person. Maybe it was because we were spending our days walking through sand and could die at any point. 

We had not even been out of the WICKED facility for longer than a few days but it felt like had been at least a month. All of the days blurred together. Every day was just sand, walking, wind, walking, sand. One day, we finally saw something promising; a city. That was when we finally got a moment to regain our barrings.

I finally had a moment to myself. I was sitting and hiding in a corner of the room we had barricaded ourselves in, and I just wanted to enjoy the solitude after having no breaks. At one point I leaned against the wall and dosed off.  I must have been out for a few hours because when I woke up, the sun was gone and everyone else was asleep. 

Everyone except Minho.

He was standing by a metal trashcan that was lit on fire, trying to stay warm. I walked over to stand beside him, cold as well. It did not take him long to detect the very noticeable shiver I made every once in a while, so he moved his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

“I think it’s time we talk,” I whispered, leaning into his side, but not looking at him. “We haven’t had the chance, but there’s no one to interrupt us now.”

“I like where this is heading,” He smirked, tightening his hold. I immediately scoffed, pushing his arm off of me, and turned to glare at him. “What? It’s a joke!”

“Not everything needs to be sexual,” I answered annoyed as I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m just acting like I did before the maze,” He admitted, “I always made those kinds of jokes with you, and you loved them.”

“Well, newsflash Minho! Not everyone remembers life before the maze!” I pointed out as I shook my head in disbelief. “Pre-maze me may have loved that, but pre-maze me also didn’t have to endure all the sexist comments of the guys around her. Forgive me for not finding a sexual joke funny after being ridiculed for my gender for three years straight.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-” he tried to start, but I cut him off.

“No! You don’t realize!” I nearly shouted. “Minho, you were the worst of them all! You think that suddenly you remember that we were in a relationship makes it all okay, but it doesn’t! I will always remember the things you said to me, and no amount of apologies will fix that. Nothing will bring me back to the girl you remember because, to me, she never existed.”

He was speechless for a moment, absorbing everything I just said. In the midst of my rant, neither of us saw Thomas, Newt, and Teresa wake up, and move closer to see what was going on. After a few beats, he finally said, “I understand that you don’t remember, and I’m sorry I treat you like you should. I just thought that since you saved me in the maze, it meant you felt something toward me, so I took that as a green light.”

“Minho,” I shook my head disappointedly, “not every kind gesture a girl does for you means that they like you. From this point forward, I’m going on my own. Hopefully, I’ll see you in the safe haven, and if not, we’ll die trying.”

I did not give any of them the chance to respond as I turned and walked out of the building. Despite their protests, I kept walking, and I did not turn back. I found an abandoned shack not too far from the original building which was great because I heard the distinct groaning of the cranks nearby. 

The next day, I was up bright and early. I did not want to waste any time in building a distance between me and Minho. That was the last thing I needed. After walking for a few days straight, I found another city. This one looked like people still lived in it. I went up to the gates and knocked.

It took a while, but eventually, a guard came to the door, holding a gun pointed at me. I threw my hands up in surrender. “Please, I’m unarmed!”

“State your business,” he said.

“I’m immune, and I’m trying to find anyone. I’ve been on my own,” I explained quickly. He dropped his gun, not entirely but enough to make me feel less threatened. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Who are you?” I told him my name and he nodded and allowed me to enter. “I have to take you to the leaders.”

“Leaders? What is this? A monarch?” I joked, and I received a small smile from the guard.

“No, just the people that keep us from killing each other,” He explained as we walked into one of the bigger buildings. Inside there was not much. A few beds, some stocked up food, and some blankets. He pointed to a couple of crates stacked to look like a chair before saying, “Stay here.”

I sat down and just caught my breath. That’s when it all hit me. Sure, I left the only friends I knew on my own accord, but that did not make it hurt any less. I missed Thomas. I missed Newt. Hell, I missed Minho. I will never admit to missing Teresa though. I still had the nagging feeling that she was a traitor. I did not have to wait too long for the leaders to come into the open space, and when they did, my jaw dropped. 

“Gally?”

“No way, you’re the single trying to join us,” Gally muttered to himself mostly.

“I left the group,” I admitted, knowing he probably thought they died during the journey. “I could not stand to be in Minho’s presence, and I had a bad feeling about Teresa.”

“You and me both, honestly,” He chuckled, and that was the first time I actually laughed with him. “You can stay,” I directed at me before turning to the other leaders and guards around them, “I want her with me at all times. She’s tough. Don’t underestimate her, am I clear?”

That was the day I became one of the guards. I patrolled the premises with Gally every day, talking shit and having fun. Yes, we were constantly running for our lives, but that did not mean we could not have fun too. 

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. All of it blurred together until one night there was a horrible storm. It was the first time it ever rained that I could remember. Granted, it never rained in the glade, so it did feel like it was the first time.

I decided to sit under a covering but still outside, watching in awe of the weather. Eventually, Gally sat beside me, and we sat in silence for a while just enjoying the rain. 

“Are you ever gonna tell me the real reason you split?” Gally broke the silence as he looked over at me. “I know you wouldn’t have left Thomas or Newt unless the circumstances pushed you to it. And you don’t have to tell me! It’s just-“

“He wants me to forget everything that happened,” I muttered, stopping him short. “Minho wants to pick up where we were before the Glade, but I don’t have a memory before the Glade. Plus, he wants me to completely disregard everything he said in the Glade. All the sexist comments, I can’t look past those.”

“Speaking of that, I’m sorry for how I acted in there too,” he apologized. “It was weird having a girl in there, and I got defensive.”

“You’re fine, Gally,” I dismissed immediately. “You stopped after a few months, but this guys kept at it for all three years. That’s three years of me being torn down over and over. That shit hurt, and I don’t think I can just look past that.”

“Maybe, give it time. This time away from him could help you sort yourself out. Think how you really feel about him, if you could ever see yourself with him, and what he would have to do to regain your trust,” Gally consoled. Silence fell between us once again as I started thinking about what Gally said. Could I see myself with him after everything? Maybe. Is that toxic? Yes, but he’ll work for it. My thoughts got interrupted by Gally chuckling, causing me to look over at him questionably. “Nothing, I can just see the gears turning. You can see yourself with him, but you’re upset that he did all this to you.”

“Are you sure you weren’t a therapist or something?” I laughed, lightly punching his shoulder. “But yes. I could see myself with him eventually.”

“Then sleep on it, and maybe we’ll try to find them tomorrow,” Gally suggested as he stood up. He held out a hand for me, which I took as I stood in front of him.

“Deal, I’ll see you in the morning.”

~

The morning was hell. Early that morning, after it stopped raining but before the sun was out, a group was frantically banging on the gate. Unfortunately, Gally and I were the only ones still awake, so we went to check it out.

The last people I expected to see were Newt and Thomas. I immediately noticed that Minho was missing, Thomas looked scared, and Newt had black veins. I knew he had the flare, so I stepped back, providing backup and Gally questioned them while Newt and Thomas just looked at us in awe.

“We thought you both died,” Thomas said, disregarding the entire shpeel that Gally said. “Never thought we’d see you guys again.”

“Well contrary to popular belief, I can take care of myself,” I piped up, moving to stand beside Gally rather than behind him. “Speak of the devil, where is he?”

“That’s why we need your help,” Newt spoke up. He sounded broken like the flare was destroying him from the inside out (spoiler: it was). “He was taken by WICKED, and you were right about Teresa. She was giving WICKED our location the entire time.”

“Maybe next time believe a girl’s intuition,” I replied sarcastically. “And what do you mean ‘taken by WICKED’?”

“During the storm, we found a shack and hid out in it, but Teresa must have known about it because WICKED soldiers were already there,” Thomas explained before looking down. “They ambushed us and took Minho while we all ran.”

“What happened to no man left behind?” Gally exclaimed, reciting the first rule for the runners. One that he knew well since he was such close friends with Ben. “Did any of you fight for him?”

“We did but we can’t really do much against guns,” Newt deadpanned. “That’s why we need your help. You guys have guns, cars, and a helicopter. We can fly into the city and save him.”

“If we’re saving Minho, I would like to propose a sub mission if you will,” I offered, turning to Gally. “As much as I would love to reconcile with Minho, I don’t give a shit if we actually save him, but I’ll be damned if we don’t get the cure. I think that should be the focus.”

Maybe there was some truth behind my words. Maybe there wasn’t. Gally didn’t buy it, but we still decided to go forward with the plan to get the cure. And sure, save Minho in the process.

Minho, on the other hand, was going insane. The last conversation we had was on replay in his head all day every day. Despite the hours of torturing WICKED did to him, all by Teresa’s hand, nothing hurt him more than knowing he fucked up. While sitting in his cell after one of the more brutal beatings, he decied this was his punishment for royally fucking up. Moreover, he decided that it was justified. 

He hated seeing the look of disgust on my face as soon as he made the first comment in the Glade. He also hated seeing the look of defeat after the keepers meeting where I petitioned on Thomas’s behalf. He hated everything he did, and in isolation, all he was left with was his thoughts. 

That is until he heard commotion outside. He thought it was in his head at first and did not want to get his hopes up. However, when he heard keys in the lock, he cowered away, thinking it was a guard to take him again for testing. He closed his eyes and held his head in his hands until he felt gentle palms pull them away. He slowly peeled his eyes open to meet her familiar orbs.

“Hey, we gotta get you outta here. Thomas and Newt are getting the cure, but I need you to follow me now. We’ll talk it out when we’re in the safe haven.” Y/n. It was Y/n. It’s always been Y/n.

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[rainbowsky]

hi, new turtle here and kind of clueless about a lot of things especially how to support GG and DD if we're from intl fandom. that is, I know DD has a lightstick, I know GG has other things..? (which are those?) my point is, how do we as intl fans support them? for Thai actors I know that we can donate money for advertisements and whatnot, but idk what to do for GG and DD. do you have any ideas? thank you and sorry if this message isn't very clear, my English is bad today >_<"

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛 Your English is just fine. ☺️

Sorry for the delay in replying to this, I've had very little time lately for Tumblr and I'm hopelessly behind on asks!

I know I've talked about this a bit in the past but finding older posts on Tumblr can be insanely difficult, so I'll go over some of my thoughts on this again.

Standard disclaimer: This is my personal opinion, not a list of demands or directives. Everyone gets to decide how they want to engage in fandom. There is absolutely no obligation to do any of these things, and doing these things does not make you a better fan than anyone else. Nor is anyone who is unable to do these things a lesser fan. The primary goal of fandom is to enjoy yourself (without harming others). I encourage each of you to find your own path and hold your head high, and never let anyone dictate your fandom experience or bully you for your choices.

I'm going to focus on things anyone can do without spending a lot of money or investing a huge amount of time. Alongside that I'll give some advice for those who want to take things further, and warn of some things we might want to avoid.

1 ] Be the best people we can be

The number one thing we can do is live our best lives, be the best people we can be, and help make the world a better place.

From a fandom perspective, we should all be striving to represent GG and DD in the best possible light by being a positive example of fandom at its best. Be kind, be compassionate, be open-minded. Don't bully others, don't engage in fan wars, don't trash other artists or fans. Respect other fans, artists and fandoms.

It's also important to think of how best to respect and protect them, and ensure we aren't painting them in a bad light.

Consider all the ways GG and DD inspire us to make the world a better place, and be the kind of person that reflects their goodness. Behave in ways that would make GG and DD proud, and that show turtles to be a positive force in the world.

Spend time with family, work toward our own goals and dreams. Don't over-invest ourselves in being their fan. This is something GG especially has urged fans to do for years and years.

Taking it to the next level

Lead by example and share that message/approach with others (in a kind, non-judgmental way). Do charitable works in their name (even if it's just in your own local area). Support causes that they would appreciate.

Some causes GG and DD have supported in the past: disaster relief, animal welfare, youth organizations that support disadvantaged kids, autism orgs. Consider orgs that help get kids involved in sports and in the arts. Theater and performance orgs as well. Given the nature of this fandom, you might also want to consider supporting queer orgs (there is a list of queer refugee orgs in this post).

I honestly believe that more than any other thing we could do to support them, this would BY FAR make GG and DD the happiest - just knowing that their fans are inspired to do kind things for others. They would be happier knowing our money is helping those in need, rather than being wasted on things we don't really need in some misguided desire to 'support them'.

Stay away from

Never behave cruelly or in a warlike manner toward other fans, artists or fandoms - especially not 'in GGDD's name'. I can't count how many times I've seen hateful people sporting GG or DD-related usernames and avatars invading other people's fandom spaces to attack them.

Don't support the stalker economy, and make sure the material we connect with them is not harmful. More on that here.

Avoid being taken advantage of. Always do your due diligence before giving money to any cause or organization to ensure they are legitimate and reputable.

2 ] Enjoy and promote their works

Another extremely important thing we can do is enjoy their work and show our support with reviews, ratings, and word-of-mouth recommendations. After all, this is the core of what their careers are about, and it's what they put so much hard work into and make so many big sacrifices for.

A list of key projects and how to view can be found here.

Taking it to the next level

Buy subscriptions on platforms where their work is being shown, buy tickets for their films, etc.

If the films are showing in a region you can't travel to, you can still buy tickets for turtles who can't afford to go. Consider organizing group viewings of their work, or helping to spread the word about their projects in other ways.

More suggestions in this post.

Stay away from

Never engage in false reviews, vote manipulation or manipulating view counts. Such behaviors can harm GG and DD and make them look bad.

3 ] Support their brand endorsements

The best way for any fan to do this is to support their brand endorsements on social media with likes, reblogs and gracious, rational, polite comments.

Always be respectful, calm, polite and professional when interacting with brands. Remember that these are professional partners of GG and DD and we should try to show GG and DD in a good light. Our behavior reflects on them.

Taking it to the next level

If it is within our means, we can buy their brand endorsements, but I urge fans to use good judgment and caution when doing so. I have a more detailed post about supporting their brand endorsements here. Bottom line: don't get caught up in spending all your money on things you can't afford or wouldn't have otherwise bought, just because GG and DD are representatives.

If you do decide to explore supporting their endorsements I recommend reading that post because it might give you food for thought, and help you decide where to invest.

Stay away from

Purchase only what you need and will use or gift to others. Never buy anything just to boost numbers. That type of consumer behavior is wasteful and reflects very poorly on GG and DD and can actually backlash harshly against them.

Never engage in sales manipulation behaviors, such as purchasing items to boost sales and then returning them later for a refund. Brands aren’t stupid. They will notice this type of thing and it will factor into how they evaluate GG and DD’s brand performance.

Understand that brands are very skilled at tracking where sales come from, where brand buzz is coming from, etc. It’s not strictly necessary to make any special fanfare about your purchases, and if fan behavior becomes disruptive it can become a negative rather than positive reflection on GGDD.

Never get involved in disruptive fan behavior, regardless of how hard other fans try to instigate you or induce you to do so.

Never spend more than you can afford. GG and DD are both mega-rich, and so are these brands. Have a sense of perspective and self-preservation and realize GG and DD wouldn’t want you to over-extend yourself on their behalf. Brand purchases aren’t even a core aspect of what’s important to their careers, so your impact would be marginal/practically nonexistent anyway.

If you really want a brand to know you support them because of GG or DD, let them know via social media or by contacting them directly. Send them a nice note, mention them in a tweet showing your purchases, or simply thank them for choosing GG or DD - no purchase necessary.

It’s OK to say you are a turtle, just don’t mention CP topics when interacting with brands, and don’t mention GG or DD in interactions with each other’s brands or bring each other’s solo colors into your messages, especially not on Twitter. That will only stir fan wars and cause disruption that the brands will inevitably witness. It’s not a good look.

Related posts

GG and DD’s projects

BXG, Fan Service and Supporting GGDD

Fandom Survival Guide

BXG Fandom Etiquette

Toxic fans and staying in your own lane

Why fan wars/arguing online is such a bad idea

Why it’s so important for our fandom to behave well online

Protecting GGDD

Again, this is all based on my own opinions and perspectives. It's up to every fan to form their own values and take their own path.

I hope this gives you some ideas, Anon! ☺️

[horror-dot-png]

Mangroves

CASE # 019010008-004

SUBJECT: PYRRHA E. REYES

CONTENTS: SUSPECTED MURDER/DEATH OF CLAIRE P. LEWIS

THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXCERPT OF THE INTERROGATION OF MS. REYES.

DONATED BY AN ANONYMOUS MARIETTA DETECTIVE TO THE RICHMOND UNIVERSITY OF THE ABNORMAL.

TRANSCRIPT IS AS FOLLOWS:

She’s gone, right? I’m so stupid, this is all my fault. It should’ve been me. I should’ve been the one to – fuck. It’s so unfair. I never wanted it to come to this and now I’m… alone. I’m sorry, let me start from the beginning. My name is Pyrrha, I’m a librarian in Marietta, Georgia. I met Claire, my fiancée – ex-fiancee now I suppose – in college. We first met in our American history class, and I wanna say we hit it off pretty well then. We would talk for hours on end about history, sharing facts and talking about our political interpretations of certain events. Do you ever stop to think how weird Manifest Destiny was as a concept? Like, sure, expansion was inevitable, but saying it was your God-given right as a white guy to steal land from natives? Of course it went much deeper than that now, and we grew as people from these conversations. Eventually, we grew for each other. She asked me out, and lucky for her I was a lesbian. The next few years of college came and went, and at our graduation I popped the question – though we weren’t to be married for a few years as we eventually settled down and devoted our daily life to work and research. It was amazing. Spending every last moment you have with the woman you love. The nights cuddled on the couch watching TV, the rainy days spent reading, the more-than-daily walks with our Saint Bernard – cleverly named Saint. 

After another three years – wow, it really has been three – we began to grow a little bored. We were both still madly in love, don’t get me wrong, but there was something missing. Like looking into the same room over and over and over, expecting to see something remotely different. It could’ve been a bird at the window, or maybe Claire moved the coffee table away from the sofa a little. Regardless, we needed something new. Not a vacation necessarily as we had been on plenty since moving in together – though with Saint we did ease up on how frequent they were. We decided to find a mutual hobby to keep the closeness knit. Claire didn’t think we were growing apart, but I insisted it might be healthy for the long-term. She agreed and we got to looking. We went through a few options. Rock climbing was not an option since she was desperately afraid of heights. Can’t do gardening because of how high our third floor apartment was – and, yes, it didn’t help the fear of heights at times. Then we figured it out. What about diving? Claire was so thrilled with the idea, having been formerly on our college’s swim team. As for me? I’m glad we could’ve decided on something – I really wish we hadn’t. 

It was settled, and we found a few days to go train and get certified. It was so relaxing. The water against our skin – or what wasn’t covered by our suits. Oddly, I found having to swap from our snorkel to our oxygen regulator the most thrilling. Exposing ourselves to the elements for even a slight moment, knowing the sheer amount of water that could fill our mouth and throat and lungs if we just chose to let it be that way. Of course, I hid these intrusive thoughts from Claire. After a few days of learning and practice, we were certified and immediately booked a plane to Cancún, Mexico, and reserved ourselves some spots for a personal diving trip out off the coast. It was beautiful. I won’t see it as such any more. To be honest, anything deeper than a kiddie pool irks me – pathetic, I know. 

We arrived and toured for a bit. Went around, ate some local cuisine. Claire found a fondness for cooked cacti, and I took a liking to Piña Coladas. Saw some shows, and had a genuinely good time. It was like an early honeymoon. It didn’t stay this way for long. We had decided earlier on we wanted to dive by some mangroves off the coast. And so our day started early. We were given the clear to dive and got a ride out to one of the less popular dive spots. We were excited, but a little hungover honestly, yet we refused to let that get in the way of our newfound passion. It was during the ride over that I had the chance to reflect on my relationship with Claire. It was almost as though my mind was forcing me to ruminate. It had known something I didn’t. Of course, I hadn’t realized it at the moment but perhaps it was an omen. I mean, it just sounds too coincidental, right? Makes me think of all the skipped classes, all the dinner and movie dates, all the small mundane fights we resolved within a matter of minutes because we realized how stupid they were. I thought of us getting Saint as a pup and how happy Claire was to finally have a pet after a childhood without one. I remembered meeting her parents, and how much I thought they hated me at first, only to realize they were the kindest people in my life – aside from Claire that is.

We arrived. It was hot. Really hot. So we took no time changing into our gear with the anticipation of dipping in as soon as possible. And so we did. We held hands and slipped into that cool, familiar feel of water. No. No. No, that’s not right. It wasn’t that at all, it felt more like wading through a sludge, like we had just dunked ourselves into a tank of syrup. It didn’t feel right at all. Claire didn’t seem to notice it but I did. I should’ve brought her to the surface to say something, but that look in her eyes. The beautiful green eyes that spoke with determination. So I let her be happy. I brushed off the feeling, but then I looked down. It went further and further, deeper and deeper. This wasn’t right. We were just off the coast, right? It shouldn’t have been possible – why was the water so… green? Were there supposed to be fish or anything else alive here? I could see the shoreline just fine and the mangroves up ahead. Was this right? Was I imagining things? Are… are those bodies? I think I chalked it up to pareidolia at the moment, but now I’m not too sure. My breathing picked up but I knew this was not the time nor place for a panic attack. I looked back up at Claire and remembered the times she helped me control my breathing. So I did. Deep breath in. Hold. Deep breath out. The breathing helped, but I still felt dizzy. Everything was telling me to go back up. To grab my future wife and call it a day. We’ve seen enough right? I wouldn’t have to explain myself. I wanted to vomit. I hate myself for not trusting that feeling. 

We got closer to the mangroves. I wanted to say it was beautiful, but it was so unsettling. How they wrapped and contorted made them seem like bodies trapped underneath the water, doomed to an eternity of drowning and staring either down into an endless abyss, or up onto a surface they could never reach. It was only then I realized what lay ahead of these… corpses. There was more ocean. More of that murky green sludge that held my life partner and I trapped. How had Claire not noticed? Or perhaps she did, and being the most curious person I knew, she was intrigued. I was not. I wanted to get the hell out, but I wasn’t sure how. I had made my decision. I was gonna grab her and leave, but then I looked up. The surface was much, much further away than it should have been. We were only going to be a few feet from the surface right? Why was it so far away? I could begin to feel the pressure of deep water popping my ears, clenching my body. My heart pounded as though it was gripped by the unknown force of the sea. My lungs were being crushed by the weight of… the weight of what? Water? It all seemed so ridiculous to me, but it was no time to question the laws of something that was actively breaking them. I looked at Claire. She had gotten closer to the mangroves, at which point I – we, I’m certain of – heard what sounded like screams. No, that wasn’t right. It was gurgling, and it felt as though it was coming from all around us. I heard the screams of these drowning people trapped beneath the water like Claire and me. I wanted to join them. I wanted to scream and let the water – sludge, whatever – force its way into my body so that I could become one with it. I felt like I was going to die, I wish I did. I went to empty the water from my mask as we learned to in training, and as I put them back on, Claire had become entangled, no, embedded within the mangrove. She was becoming one of them, a corpse, a drowned. I swam to her, panicked and as quickly as my body could whilst being crushed by the progressively increasing pressure of the deep. I swam and I swam and I swam and I swam, but the corpses carried her further away. No, it wasn’t the corpses, it was the ocean that took her. I screamed, the water began filling my lungs, and Claire. I watched her. The abyss swallowed her whole. I don’t think she reached back out to me. She accepted the cold dark as much as she accepted the ring on her finger. 

I was found a day later, washed up ashore miles away from where I thought the mangrove was. Claire was reported missing, and for a while I was suspected for murder. Fortunately, the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. I wish they had taken me though. I wish I could suffer for letting her die. I mean, she is dead right? Her parents offered their support, but I knew they knew. I knew they knew I killed their daughter. I haven’t talked to them since her funeral. Of course no body was found. I didn’t bother trying to explain what happened. Told authorities that we were inexperienced, amateur divers, and that seemed to be enough for them. I hated having to lie, but what was I to do? Now that I think of it, it’s so fucking useless of me. I let her die and now I lied about it? I’m a pathetic mess of a human being. Claire would… she would’ve handled this so much better were it me that drowned and not her. I wish I drowned. I wish I was the one to die. I wish Claire was still alive and I wish that it was I who was eaten by the deep. I still have Saint, though he got along better with Claire. And, after all this time, I didn’t realize how empty a bed could be. 

END TRANSCRIPT

[iraprince]

hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

[winstonhenderson]

𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟖.

𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓐 𝓛𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝓭 𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

George’s Notes

We were in India. Another place. Far from home. Enjoying meditation. Having fun. 

This was my passion! In 1966. I brought the sitar and Julia loved it! Or John. Whatever. She used it in her “Norwegian Wood”. I always liked to talk about Ravi to them whenever I got the chance and all of them knew how much I liked Indian culture. So this getaway to our “ideological savior” seemed like a great way to relax ourselves. And for me, a great way to attract the writing pair’s attention! They always put Ringo and me down, even when they don’t necessarily mean it.

But the most important thing to me is that we all cleared our heads. Ritch left first. I felt sad, he and I hang out a lot, so the fact of him leaving first hit hard. Also, I understood why he did, he had bad allergies and the food here was upsetting for him. 

The two that were left gave me a hard time, each in their own way. They talked to each other from time to time. Haven’t seen them talk normally for a while. Paul would be prissy and make stupid comments, while John was unbearlably fucking around with the idea of the religion. Paul was a bit too conservative for this so he left next. He tried out all the things this place had to offer, and I must say, maybe he explored this place the best. Linda was fine too… She is a nice gal. Like Cynthia, who I had the biggest crush on for a very long time. She fit in fine, and only seemed to care about two things; relaxing and John. John decided to stay however long I wanted to stay. Of course, we are quite similar, she was starry eyed too. Pattie and I had a lot of fun together, just hanging about and talking about the most basic stuff. It became a lot quieter since Paul left. John made some jokes but her-or his-or goddamn it, I’ve known this for six years and still can’t get it right! John’s attention was elsewhere. 

What I didn’t expect was that Cynthia and Pattie became close and started to hang out on their own leaving us two behind. This was the chance to sell to John my idea for songs. Although, John looked more spaced out than usual. Offhanded comments here and there. Something about the sun, or nature, or the feel of the wind. John got poetic fast. And now, John and I are sitting here, on the beach. “Geo, do you really believe this small guru?”, oh… This is serious. It’s not really John when it’s serious.

“Yes, why?”

“Hum.”, she took a biscuit.

“Julia, why do you say that?”

“I think he is doing some fraudulent activities. Paul found something while he was scavenging.”

“And you still trust Paul?”, oh no, she is mad. Or no… Dissapointed.

She chuckled.

“Geo, he is still my songwriting partner. And here you are.”

She handed me the paper. It had a complete description of some customers' orders and the amount they charge. There was the order and then a tipping mechanism where they took 50% from people.

“I felt like Maharishi was a good little guru. Always setting up people. Making you bite.”, what the fuck are you saying Lennon!

“Me? We all bit it!”

“You bit it first.”

“Lord, Jules… Could be fake for all I know, or could be I dunno repurposed.”

“George. I’m not exaggerating aaaaand I’m not letting you spend any more money on this SCUM.”

“I know how to handle money! Sometimes better than you! Always better than John!”

“You don’t involve John in this! This is about you!”, Julia.

“Jules, I am not that fifteen year old anymore! I’m twenty five! I can make the right decisions on my own!”

Julia was distraught. But I told her the truth!

“Look, I know you are responsible, sometimes even more responsible than I am, but you are naive! You think everything can be resolved-”

“OF COURSE IT CAN! Julia, you could’ve made it known at any moment that you are a woman and it wouldn’t matter! We are on the toppermost of the poppermost Jules! You wanted to be there, remember!”, think woman, think!

Julia got angry, but not Julia angry but John angry, which was much scarier.

“We are there because people presume we are all men! And you never know what problems would arise should I do that! What if I put myself in danger? No, you in danger! I still don’t know why we’re on top. I know people dislike some of our music and want to see us fail! Half of the time I think our music is pure shite that won’t last a fucking day after if we hadn’t had such good marketing!”

“You must really hate yourself, Julia, if this trip couldn’t get you out of your mindset.”

“Georgie. Was it ever a secret?”, Jules laughed.

That woman drives me insane. I… This whole trip, the reason John was spaced out was because Julia was monitoring what I do! Lord, John or Jules always kept tabs on me! And I wonder how sometimes I could be lucky that Brian didn’t find out something or that Paul didn’t shout at me. Julia had my back! 

“Jules! You should let me fight for myself! Goddamn it! Fuck you! I… Can’t stand you sometimes. I can’t stand that you…”

Push me and want me to write more, sing more, play more? Then as John put me down and snuff out my confidence.

“I cannot let you fuck yourself up because of some unimprotant man and his cult! I can’t let anyone scream at you because of something stupid that happened. George, I do that for Ritch also, though Ritch doesn’t get into sticky situations that much.”

“Stop helping me in the worst possible way. I have to face the consequences! I have to see it for myself.”

“But what if you never figure it out?”, Julia hugged me, “What if you continue believing in your delusion and it costs you everything?”

“JULIA, that is the thing I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU!”, I hugged her.

“What?”

“You have to stop! Paul gave up on you. He married Linda, because he couldn’t marry you! You destroy yourself with drugs. You drift away more often.”

She was speechless.

“You hurt Cynthia, Ritch and I as John because of the stress and misuse of drugs! You are not yourself anymore.”

“You can’t say that you don’t use drugs too…”

“I don’t use them as much as you do. Our mommy’s death broke us. It broke you two the most.”

“Shut up, George.”

And here is John.

“John is becoming his own thing and I don’t think you can even see when you are the one or the-”

“JOHN ISN’T A REAL PERSON!”, he covered his mouth.

“He isn’t a person, he is just a device, an idea!”, he flailed his hands around.

“I can do everything and I don’t need your stupid advice. I came here to tell you and try to get you out of this cult, not to be lectured by some pussy.”

I sighed.

“George, I am going. Enjoy the view. I cannot anymore. I don’t even see properly without me glasses, so what did I even see in this place? Don’t think I didn’t get hopeful when I got here! I did. I was hopeful I would relax. I didn’t. I was scared half of the time someone would fuck up and with any interaction with Paul and other half of the time I was questioning this place. I am restless, and suppose I will be, for the rest of my life.”

“John, I told you what I meant. I am direct. Unlike you, just like Julia. I cannot watch you suffer any longer! I can’t watch people around me suffer! Just think about it! Just think!”

“I feel. I have to feel it’s right.”, John looked at me with teary eyes. Never seen Julia cry as John.

“Alright… I didn’t want to make you cry… Now it looks weird because you are still in that John getup of yours.”

Julia laughed.

“Getup, haha! Geo, you are getting more creative by the day.”

Julia lit up.

“Okay, if you want me to relax so much, I have an idea, juuuust look away for a… Couple of minutes.”

“Oh no, I have encouraged Julia Victoria Lennon to do something.”

She smiled and I turned away. I heard the sound of clothes moving around. Then bandages being taken down. Maybe even a hair tie being let down.

“Turn around!”

Oh, now it’s just Julia.

“Ta-da! Now I can relax.”, she spread herself on the sand.

“Wait- Don’t relax too much! I want to tell you about my songs!”

“Alright, Geo, what do you have in mind?”

I told her every minute detail about the songs I wrote. She listened to me! Yay! And she even approved some! And gave me some tips and tricks to work on my songs. It was really such a nice session of writing. I missed when she would give me some song attention instead of treating me like a little kid who can barely write and play.

“That’s great, I’m so proud of you!”, Julia scratched my head, “Baby George!”

“Augh, I thought you said you’ll stop calling me that!”

“Well, John said that, I didn’t.”

“You can’t get away with this!”

She calmed down.

“But seriously, continue working on this, it will sound better and better. Maybe I could get Paul to approve it-”

“No, I’ll show it to him just like I’ve shown you! Don’t do anything Lennon, I beg of ya!”

“I won’t then.”, she wistfully smiled.

You could sense the feeling of satisfaction coming from her.

“Maybe you aren’t so fragile and small like you were Georgie. But enough about that, I’m going for a swim!”

“Not without me!”

We jumped into the ocean and played around. Julia loved to swim, she was fast on foot, and she was a fast swimmer. She swam almost half a kilometer away in just 12 minutes. How does she do that with our clunky clothes? I followed her but I didn't like the chance of getting an ache and I went back to the shore. I was happy for her. This is the first time she looked naturally relaxed during this entire trip! She swam back after 20 minutes.

“I wonder how you can swim so far and not get scared? Or any aches?”

“I got aches. I just ignore them and paddle my way back, simple as that!”

“You are so weird sometimes!”, I chuckled, “And capable!”

“Um, that’s my job as your leader, dummy!”, she knocked my head.

I laughed.

“I wish I could relax like this everyday!”

“Well, that isn’t happening. But, I have a mystery to debunk, and that is Maharishi’s history. I’ll have fun.”

“You are still on about what Paul said? How about you stop thinking about him and just think about hm…”

“No, I’m doing more as a fuck you to cultists then because of Paul. I’m angry at Paul. I’m miserable because of him.”

“Glad you understand basic human emotions.”

She giggled.

“Okay, Harrison. Tell ya if I find more evidence, but knowing these kinds of trickster buggers, you won't be waiting much!”

The sun was setting and we were gazing at the view. Until I heard some movement in the trees.

“Where did we end up? Are you sure both of them are here! Oh, look, there is George!”, Pattie! Darling!

“Come here! Missed you so much!”, I hugged her.

“Where’s John?”, Cynthia wondered. 

Oh my Lord, where is Julia?

“Um, I dunno, he was just here with me.”

I searched with my eyes and found Julia hiding behind a rock all panic ridden.

“Why are there bandages on the floor?”, Pattie asked.

Cynthia realized what had happened.

“Just some trash we encountered, how awfully dirty the tourists here must be!”

“I’ll then find a rubbish bin suitable for them.”, Cynthia, thank you for taking care of John. I’m glad Julia chose to be with you and pretend than anyone else.

Julia looked at me. Her look was basically telling me: “What do we do? Should I go out or not? No, tell them to leave! Give Cynthia a sign to make them leave. I don’t want anyone else finding out.”

I scoffed.

“Where did you scoff at.”, Pattie said, “At that rock!”

Julia came out with her hands crossed.

Cyn was shocked but relieved to see her. She was waiting for what Julia would do.

“OH, it’s John, see Cyn we found him! Though I must say you look more frail than usual.”

“What can I say? This sun eats ya!”

We chuckled.

“And I had to see what Cyn’s relief looked like. Never expected such a big reaction from ya.”

“How can I not react that way when I love you so much!”, she ran towards Julia and hugged her as hard as possible, “I was already thinking I had to call the search party to search all over!”

“Don’t worry Cyn, I can handle a little labyrinth!”

“I don’t think so!”

“Alriiight.”, Julia sighed, smiling.

“Glad we are all here then! Let’s all go back together to our houses!”, Pattie was happy.

“Nah, I’d like to stay here a bit longer with Cyn.”, Julia disappointed me yet again.

“Oh- Oh, well have fun!”, Pattie waved them goodbye and I took her hand.

I sent another look to Julia. It meant “When are you going to stop lying!”

I figured Cyn helped Julia get bandaged up, because it was going to be dinner time soon. The rest of the day went normally. And the rest of the vacation was great, though it was cut short because of John’s investigation! He found out that Maharishi is a fraud, and really a fraud! So I dug deeper, and found the same, with more evidence! We united the evidence and presented it to the man, who said we were exaggerating and not understanding what it said!

“Look, you can’t deny your eyes and there are two of us claiming this against you! You lied to me!”, I began, “You lied to me that money wasn’t that important!”

“Well, I didn’t say that it was not necessary, you got to make a living!”

“By scamming others, not such a little good guru afterall! With this kind of behavior, I would’ve thought you would also pay flying carpet lessons!”

Maharishi chuckled.

“You know, this proves you’ll be absolutely the same as before if you leave. You, Lennon, have something to hide. Always look like that. You think you are clever, but you are not. You are empty, surrounded by enlightening remarks. But what is their purpose, you don’t know. For you, George Harrison, you will still be that insecure and childish egoist I met. Direct and naive; curious too. No wonder you dragged the whole group of you to-”

John was angry.

“You are not going to talk that way about us UNLESS I say what I think about you first! You are a snide, privacy breaking, yellow bellied, ass licking, greedy son of a bitch who likes to think he is so high and mighty! So it is just right to take away people’s hard earned cash like that!”

“The Beatles are basically the same thing!”

“We make good music.”, John replied.

“And we make good points? Explain the difference, Lennon, explain it! Oh, and haven’t seen this much emotion from you during your whole stay, I’m glad-”

“Because I didn’t get mad!”

“I’ll answer instead. We follow the regulations. We are not some other outside organization. We aren’t money grubbing. Maybe our producers are. And I know we will fix that when we find some inconsistencies.”, I jumped in to help.

“Maybe we are materialistic, but we aren’t putting other people in DEBT you whore! I checked multiple times.”, John continued.

“To check isn’t in character for John Lennon.”, Maharishi chuckled.

“It is if I think so. I don’t con people.”, John answered feeling confused on why Maharishi would say that. Then the guru scammer smiled.

“I’ll figure you out, Lennon. You have something to hide.”

John chuckled, “To hide is to survive? Isn’t that the principle of not getting caught in your scam?”

Maharishi got serious.

“You are feeling guilty of your scamming and blaming others, meanwhile I don’t have anything to declare.”, John stated with confidence.

“I know a deviant when I see them.”

“Oh, and now it’s John’s fault I have turned against you, isn’t it!”, I figured it out, “Trying to blame him for my complaint!”

Maharishi looked at me with some kind of disgust.

“Of course. Of course, we are leaving now. This instant.”, I got mad.

“Don’t go mad Georgie, this mister right here can use it against ya. You have to be relaxed and fulfilled, like he said. That’s how you get happiness, right?”, John joked.

I chuckled and calmed down.

“Yer right.”

“Well, mister, we loved the island and all, but you're a fraud and we have to go!”, John waved him goodbye and I followed. Maharishi pulled me back.

“Mr. Harrison, don’t listen to him!”, he told me, “He is a deviant, a snake, presenting himself as he isn’t!”

“And why would I not? He is one the lads! And you are the snake here.”

“No, no, that’s not a “lad” as you say, not a traditional lad, that’s a hijra.”

“A what now?”

“A… neither male nor female.”

I looked at him blankly. So he figured out the twin tale?

“You cannot trust someone who doesn’t know what they are. And this person, this “John Lennon” as they call itself, is absolutely not trustworthy. Always joking around, always monitoring you, always making inappropriate and underhanded comments. You want freedom and expression right?”

Lord, this slimy motherfucker.

“John is still one of my best friends and pals. You can’t make me stay here any longer. You just made me more angry and volatile. And you accuse John of such heinous acts with no evidence to support it.”

I began walking away towards John, who was packing with Cynthia and Pattie.

“Oh, I understand now. You know of Lennon’s decadency even before I even tell you! Both of you are flawed, go then! I don’t need a place for rude and deviant people like you!”

“Oh, where’s the “we welcome everyone to our family!” or “we are happy to accept any LOST soul”.”, John argued.

Maharishi smiled and walked up to John. He said something to him that made him shiver. Still John behaved cocky and said,

“Oh, I promise I’ll do that. For the chance to piss you off, I’ll continue doing that for as long as I want to!”

We boarded the boat. I looked at John perplexed. 

“What happened for us to go earlier?”, Pattie wondered.

“John, what did you do?”, Cyn asked.

“Absolutely nothing that deserved that kind of send off! Accusing me of deviancy just because George and I handed in some damning evidence that Maharishi scams people!”

“That’s… Fun.”, Cynthia sighed, “Well, at least we’re in one piece and haven’t been held up by that con artist in any other way.”

“You are so smart, Cyn.”, John chuckled, “Yer right as ever.”

John proceeded to kiss her. Before that he gave her a small, not really noticeable sign. He always warned Cyn before kissing her. But I never really noticed Cyn tensing up before the act.

I kissed Pattie as well and whispered in her ear:

“I’m glad this hellish discussion is over and you have absolutely nothing to do with it!”

“I’m glad you’re okay, George.”

Pattie looked at Cynthia and John, “Let’s go inside, it’s getting a bit chilly in here.”

“Wait for us two inside then, I have to talk to John about this shit in private.”

The wives giggled.

“Alright then, George, we’ll be inside. If you need any advice or a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find us!”

“Pattie, sometimes you could be so funny!”, my sweet Pattie.

“And not always? The insolence of this young man! We are going inside, pronto!”, Cynthia pulled Pattie with her.

John rolled his eyes while chuckling.

“No wonder Cyn is my best female friend.”

“Well, a wife is a best friend too.”, I joked.

There was a small pause. We looked at the ocean and the waves splashing in the sun. 

“John, what did that son of a bitch tell you?”

“There is something called a hijra in Indian or Southeastern culture. It is a person in drag, a person who identifies as the opposite gender… He told me that he figured out I was in drag. He told me I can’t keep it together and remain normal if I ever was. He told me I corrupted you… He told me I will drag the entire band into ruin. And even if I told everyone the truth that I would make everything the Beatles did worthless and meaningless.”

“What a freak!”, I couldn’t believe it. Maharishi was today very awful towards us, especially towards John. Was he always a bit more awful to women? Now that I think about it, he didn’t talk that much with our wives. He focused on us four. What a scammer.

“I know that, but it does send shivers down my spine, y’know.”

“I’m just happy we had fun and we’re going home, Jules.”, ahh, fuck this man.

“Yeah, I’m happy too. Let’s go inside, Geo.”

“Yeah. Thanks for looking out for me… But please don’t do it as much anymore, Julia.”

“I’ll try not to. And… Perhaps, baby George is right about some things.”

I think some things are going to change in the Beatles and I hope for the better. The most important thing is that I have proven that I’m not a child anymore - I’m an adult who speaks his mind and deserves to be listened to. Perhaps, they will put more songs on the next album… Can’t wait to work with Ritch again…

Rest of Sacrifame

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen, I’m a 30+ year old lesbian who has never dated or had sex before and I’m considering starting dating but I’m really worried about my lack of experience. I’m worried about either being taken advantage of or not finding anyone willing to get involved with someone with no experience or not being taken seriously or being considered childish. And I’m worried about not understanding basic relationship unspoken rules because of this. Do you have any advice? I have absolutely zero idea about literally anything, and I feel like the older I get the more insurmountable getting started gets.

We all have to start somewhere and no one jumps into dating knowing all the ins and outs. You certianly are not the only lesbian out there dipping your toe in the dating pool past the "standard" dating period of our early 20's and late teens.

Lesbians and gay men STILL in this day and age are often behind in dating in the "normal" sense of the word. Meaning, at least in Western Culture, we are expected to go on many dates in Jr. High and High school and continue to "play the field" into our mid 20's at which point we are supposed to get more serious about settling down.

A fair amount of us don't feel comfortable dating in high school because the opposite sex is not an attractive option and dating the same sex can be scary, even dangerous and our options are more limited, especially in smaller school. So rather then date what we don't want we either don't date or force ourselves to fake it with boys to cover our sexuality and both leave us with poor or unpracticed dating skills. We don't get to experience the same learning curve with our peers.

We spent a greater amount of energy focused on trying to figure out if our attraction to the same sex is "just a kid crush" (which absolutely can happen) or if we really are gay or lesbian. The rest of our time is spend blending in to not be outed. OF course this is a generalization and in many more cases than when I was growing up dating the same sex is much more accepted pre college or young adult age.

I can assure you than there are plenty of women out there who feel inadequately prepared to date. The best thing you can do is get started.

Some advice.

Follow your gut (women's intuition). If something feels off or wrong don't keep explaining it away as you over reacting or reading it wrong.

First and foremost be honest with yourself. Don't tell yourself "maybe I will be more attracted to her next time" or "at least she is nice" or "if I don't stay with her i might not met someone else" You deserve mutual passion and emotional and sexual fulfilment. DON'T short yourself for fear of being alone.

You do not need disclose too much about why you do not want a second date or a longer date or a kiss goodnight. "No thank you" is enough. You don't owe anyone any more of your time than you want to give.

Ask about progess. "I would like to kiss you. Is that Okay?" (or hug goodnight or whatever) Establishing that you respect her boundaries and taking "no" with grace is a huge and important skill.

You do not have to be the most creative plan maker. Coffee, walks in a park, ice cream, museums or other places where you can talk are great dates because you can actually engage each other, not spend a lot of money and they are public. Very few women expect (or want) to go sky diving or mountain biking on the first date. Action packed dates are great once you get to know each other and figure out what you both want. But in the beginning you need have less pressure and more time to talk is better.

It is okay to give someone a second try if the first impression or date when ary and it is okay not to try again as well.

Compliment things she can change and control in the beginning. Her hair style, her clothing choice, her necklace. Later you can tell her thing you like about her unchangeable characteristics like eyes or smile. Showing you have noticed her effort when starting off means you are paying attention and she is appreciated.

It is always okay to ask for more time or another date if you like her but equally important to understand you might not always get a "yes" and you must accept that gracefully and with respect. "I had a nice time. Thank you for going out with me. Goodnight" is one acceptable response to a decline for more. Don't take being told "no" personally. Not everyone is for everyone and it is better to not continue if the chemisty or interest is not there.

If you meet a woman you like and want to ask her out. Ask her out and make sure you clarify it is a date so as to avoid the age old lesbian over thinking process of "is this a date? Does she like me or like me like me?". Example. "I think you seem interesting. Would you go out on a date with me this weekend? Maybe some coffee or some lunch?"

I hope some of this helps. I am certainly no expert on dating but these are some things I have learned along the way. Good luck out there and be safe but also have fun.

[lost-my-sanity]

Your Love- Portgas D. Ace Song Fic

Your love

Inspired by your love from the outfield

Josie's on a vacation far away

Come around and talk it over

So many things that I wanna say

You know I like my girls a little bit older

Your relationship with Ace was rocky, if you could even call it a relationship. Many sleepless nights were spent wrapped up in each other, but in the mornings it was like nothing happened at all

This has been going on for a long time now. Longer than either of you wanted to admit. You loved each other, you really did, but the stigma of being two up and coming pirates kept holding you both back from taking the leap and actually admitting to yourselves that you were it for each other.

It was another night in the Moby Dick, after a victory against some no name that thought they could take on your crew and fight your pops to secure their legacy. They were very wrong, and will never be known from this day forward.

Everyone had partied themselves to sleep, belly’s full with copious amounts of alcohol and food. Times like these were the perfect opportunity to sneak away with Ace and spend some time alone with him in his cabin.

I always have second thoughts before I knock on his door.. is this right? Should we be doing this? I am older after all…

I just wanna use your love tonight

And I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Before I can even knock Ace swings open the door, a soft smile on his face as his hat hangs on his neck, his wild hair uncovered for once. I’m captivated by his eyes and the sea of freckles that are dusted across his face, no matter how many times I’ve seen them, kissed them even I don’t think I’ll ever get used to his raw beauty.

“Hey, I was wondering when I would be seeing you,” he spoke softly, a lazy grin on his face.

“Yeah… it’s been a while” I said, returning the smile and running my hands through my hair nervously. We’ve become so used to this song and dance it’s almost second nature at this point.

I ain't got many friends left to talk to

Nowhere to run when I'm in trouble

You know I'd do anything for you

Stay the night but keep it undercover

“I was hoping I could… Stay the night?” I ask shyly. His small grin was now full blow, his mirth as written all over his beautiful face.

“Yeah of course, you know you don’t have to ask…” He says, running his hands along my arms.

He ushered me into his room, closing the door behind him and locking it, so no one would dare interrupt this moment we shared together.

Try to stop my hands from shakin'

Somethin' in my mind's not makin' sense

It's been awhile since we've been all alone

I can't hide the way I'm feelin'

I can’t help but bite my lip when he comes closer, my breathing starts to become heavy and it feels like I’m losing control over all of my limbs, I can’t seem to hide the shaking anymore.

Ace reached out to me and placed his warm hands on my cheek, stroking them softly “hey, you don’t ever have to worry with me… you know this…” he spoke, words reassuring me.

“I..I know Ace… I just don’t ever want this moment to end” I admit truthfully for the first time out loud. He nods his head as he places his forehead against mine, his soft lips find their home placed upon my own.

As you leave my place, won't you close the door?

And don't forget what I told ya:

Just 'cause you're right, that don't mean I'm wrong

Another shoulder to cry upon

“It doesn’t have to… when we wake up in the morning, we can walk out together. We can close that door behind us and not have to hide anymore. You don’t have to cry on my shoulder in private anymore. I wanna be your man. I want the crew to see, hell I want the whole world to see that I’m yours and you are mine” he says boldly, taking me completely by surprise.

“Do… Do you really mean it? Do you think we can actually make this work?” I ask shyly, afraid of what he would say.

“I know we can.” He said honestly.

At that moment, I believed him, it was time to let our fears go. We deserved to give ourselves an honest try.

I kissed him deeply and wrapped my arms around him. “Okay.. then let’s do it, let’s show the world our love” I stated, happier than I’ve been in a long time.

[cheerscoops]

Wherever You Point To I’ll Find ~ Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham

Nobody expected a budding romance between Steve and Chrissy when they were invited on this graduation road trip. But, as the two spend more and more time together away from the pressures their families, they just might find that they’re the perfect match.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: modern au, road trip, mutual pining, fluff, angst, discussion of mental health and body issues, eventual smut, adult themes and swearing throughout

Word Count: 16.1k

A/N: tumblr gave me hell trying to get this posted, so hopefully it goes up this time

Anyway, this chapter brings the story to just under 50k, and I still have 6 more chapters to go. It's wild to me that I've already written that much about these two, and that number is going to more than double before I'm done. Thanks for following along with this story so far!

After giving Steve an ample amount of time to look around the shack, the group was back on the road. They stopped for pizza on the way and ended up making it to Myrtle Beach before it was too late. The only snag in their plan was the fact that most hotels in the area seemed to be fully booked for the night.

“Check this motel up here,” Nancy said as Steve started to turn into the next parking lot. “I’m sure they’ll have vacancies if nothing else. I can’t believe I forgot to book a hotel sooner."

As soon as Steve put the car in park, Nancy hopped out to go check and see if they had any vacancies. There was no reason for them all to get out of the car if they weren't going to be staying there. They waited as Nancy talked to the clerk for a few minutes, and soon she was jogging back to their car.

"So, the good news is that we have a place to sleep tonight."

"And the bad news?" Eddie asked.

"They only had one room left, so we're all going to have to share. But there are two beds, so Chrissy and I can share one, and you and Steve can share the other. It's either that or we all sleep in this car."

"I think the four of us can manage to share a room with no issues," Steve said. "It's better than sleeping in the car."

"Or camping again," Chrissy added.

"Definitely better than camping."

"Then it's settled. I'll go grab the room key, and then we can get ourselves situated."

The beds in the room were a little bit smaller than they would have liked considering they were sharing, but they could make do. They all took turns using the bathroom to get ready for bed, and Chrissy tried not to freak out about having to share a room with Steve. She didn't know why she was so on edge about it. It wasn't like she had to share a bed with him or anything like that. 

But then he came out of the bathroom without a shirt on, and she had to force herself not to stare. Honestly, it should have been illegal for him to walk around like that. He wasn't allowed to have this kind of effect on her. It wasn't fair.

She tried to busy herself with fluffing up her pillows, but it didn’t help that she and Steve had both chosen the sides of the bed that were next to the end table shared between the two. If she really wanted to, she could have reached out and touched him.

Despite the fact that she'd slept on the ground the night before, she had slept surprisingly well, and she was attributing that to sleeping next to Steve. She felt so safe with him, and now her mind was wandering towards how nice it might have been to share one of these beds with him. She could snuggle up next to him, and maybe he'd wrap his arms around her and hold her close. She'd fall asleep feeling protected, and she'd wake up to another one of his sleepy smiles. Maybe even a good morning kiss.

No. She wasn't allowed to have those thoughts. There was nothing between them no matter how much she might have liked that. She still didn't know why he'd been so upset with her when she showed up at his tent, and there was no way he was interested in her if he was that cold towards her. He'd only let her stay with him because she was scared, and he was too nice to turn her away even though her very presence annoyed him. That was the only logical reason why he put up with her. Why anyone put up with her really.

She pushed those thoughts away and rolled over so her back was to Steve. Maybe if he wasn't in her line of sight, she could fall asleep without thinking about how nice it would be to be his.

***

When she woke up the next morning, Chrissy felt awful. Not because she'd slept poorly. She'd surprisingly gotten a decent amount of sleep despite feeling like she was freezing from the way that the room's air conditioning was blasting and being afraid that she was going to invade Nancy's side of the bed.

No, she woke up feeling horrible because it finally dawned on her that she was going to be expected to wear a swimsuit and show off her body in public. She hadn’t been sticking to the carefully formulated diet her mother dictated for her, and everyone was going to notice how horrible she was certain she looked now because of that.

As everyone took turns using the bathroom to get ready for the day, Chrissy sat on her bed completely zoned out. There was no way she could go through with a beach day. She’d feel awful and exposed the entire time, and she knew she wouldn’t enjoy herself. However, she also knew that this wasn’t her trip. She was just along for the ride, and she felt like she had no right to dictate what they did when everyone else was really looking forward to their beach days. She thought that maybe she could say she wasn’t feeling well and opt to stay back at the hotel for the day, but she knew that would never work. She knew her best friend, and she knew that if she said that she was staying back at the hotel for the day, he’d give up his day to keep her company. Or, even worse, he’d convince everybody else to stay with her, too, and she’d effectively ruin this trip for everyone. She’d just have to suck it up and go to the beach with everyone else. Maybe she wouldn’t even look as bad as she thought she would, and then all of this worrying would be for nothing.

When it was finally her turn to use the bathroom, she gathered her belongings and locked herself inside to change. When she got a look at herself in the mirror, that ever present gnawing feeling in her chest only grew stronger. Normally, she loved her high-waisted bikini because she felt like it covered her problem areas nicely, but today was different. She thought she looked so bloated, and she knew it was because she’d eaten nothing but junk food the day before. She’d been trying to eat mostly healthy options on the trip so far, but the day before had been filled with fast food. Fat and salt and grease and all the things she was supposed to be avoiding if she wanted to be the perfect girl that she was expected to be. She’d ruined everything with her lack of self-control, and she could hear her mother’s voice repeating I told you so over and over and over in her ear.

It was then that she decided that she wasn’t taking her coverup off for the entire day. She’d sit there in her oversized t-shirt and shorts and watch everyone else enjoy the water. She couldn’t let anyone look at her, or she’d feel even worse about herself and the choices she’d made that led her to this point.

While Chrissy was struggling to get her t-shirt to drape just right to hide her body, Nancy was starting to get impatient back in the room.

“I’m going to head down to the car,” she said as she grabbed her beach bag. “We need to leave soon if we want to have any hope of finding a decent parking space. Just head out to meet me when she’s done, okay?”

Steve knew that Nancy wasn’t going to be okay with waiting very long. She was a stickler when it came to the schedule she’d made for their trip, and she wasn’t going to be happy if they had to park too far away and then walk the extra distance back when they were exhausted after a long beach day. He didn't want to make Chrissy feel rushed, but he knew that Nancy was going to start complaining about their schedule being thrown off if they didn't leave for the beach soon. So he tried to make his urging seem lighthearted.

“C'mon, Chrissy,” he said, throwing on his Kermit the frog impression. “We've gotta get moving right along.”

Chrissy was immediately pulled away from her self-loathing thoughts as she whipped out of the bathroom.

“I can't believe you told him,” she said, glaring at Eddie. “You promised you wouldn't say anything.”

“Tell me what?” Steve asked.

“I didn't say anything,” Eddie replied.

“Oh yeah? Then why did he do that?”

“Tell me what?” Steve asked again.

“I didn't say anything,” Eddie repeated, ignoring Steve again. “He's just like that.”

“Oh.” Chrissy got very quiet and stared at the floor.

“Can someone please fill me in on what's happening?” Steve asked.

“Do you want to tell him, or should I?” Eddie asked.

“It's silly and embarrassing,” she said, avoiding making eye contact with Steve. “I'm just a really big fan of the Muppets.”

“Why is that embarrassing?”

“I don't know. It just feels childish for them to be my favorites, I guess.”

“Well, I don't think it's childish. The Muppets are cool,” he tried to reassure her.

“You're making fun of me.” The pit in her stomach grew, and she couldn't help but feel so small. This was why she didn't tell people about this part of her personality. As soon as anyone found out she loved the Muppets, she instantly became a joke in their eyes.

“I promise I'm not making fun of you,” he told her. “There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about.”

“Really?” 

She finally looked up from the ground, and Steve was smiling at her. Not a mocking smirk like she'd feared, but a kind one. A smile that said whatever opinions he had of her hadn't been changed by what she'd just told him.

“Really. I mean who doesn't like the Muppets?”

A wave of relief washed over her, but it was short-lived because Eddie was incapable of letting her hold on to a single shred of her dignity.

“She sleeps snuggled up with a Fozzie Bear plushie,” he said before racing out the door to meet Nancy down at the car.

“Do you think Nancy would be upset if I drowned her boyfriend?”

“You're really that embarrassed by still having a stuffed animal? Even though I've given you two of them in the past week?”

“Fozzie is different. A gift from a cute boy is very different from a stuffie that I've had since I was a little kid. Nobody will take me seriously if they know I still take comfort from a stuffed animal.”

What she wanted to say was that no one would find her attractive if they knew about Fozzie, but saying that would mean admitting out loud that she wanted Steve to be attracted to her, and she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet. Especially on a day like today where she knew she was the opposite of desirable.

He chose to ignore the fact that she'd called him cute. As much as he would have loved to tease her for that, he could tell that wasn't what she needed right now. He didn't want to risk her going quiet on him again, and he was pretty sure that's where she was headed if he didn't do something.

“Can I let you in on a secret?” he asked as he closed the gap between them.

She nodded and looked up at him.

“I still have the stuffie that I slept with as a baby.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don't sleep with it anymore or anything like that, but I've kept it safe and hidden through multiple cleanings by random people my mom hired to clear the useless clutter out of the house. Sentimental reasons and all of that. So, I get it. I'm not going to make you feel bad for having an attachment to a childhood toy. I think it's normal, and if it makes you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.”

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome. I need you to keep that information to yourself though. Not even Robin knows about it, and I'd like to keep it that way.”

“I think I could be persuaded to keep that secret for you. Unlike Eddie, I don't spill secrets for fun.”

“Go easy on him, okay? He might have been the one to bring up Fozzie, but it was kind of your fault he had the opportunity in the first place when you really think about it.”

“I guess so. He's lucky I love him, or I really would drown him.” She beamed up at Steve. “So, what kind of animal is it?”

“That's classified information.”

“Come on. You know about Fozzie. It's only fair.”

“Sorry, Chrissy. I've given you all the info about it that you're gonna get. Now grab your bag and head out to the car before Nancy comes back in here and drags us out.”

“So bossy,” she teased.

Steve reached out to pinch at her hip, but she dodged him as she grabbed her beach bag off the bed. She stuck her tongue out at him before racing out the door and heading towards the car with him following close behind her.

The ride to the beach passed without incident, and they still managed to get a decent parking space, so Nancy was pleased. Everything was perfectly fine until they'd set up their spot on the beach.

Chrissy may have solved the issue of not wanting to expose her body that day, but she'd conveniently forgotten that that didn't mean everyone else would be staying covered up as well. That fact was made all too apparent when a shirtless Steve approached her with a bottle of sunscreen.

“Would you mind helping me get my back?” he asked as he handed her the bottle.

“Yeah. Sure. No problem.”

He turned around so that his back was to her, and she had to stop herself from falling over. She'd seen him without a shirt on before. Just a few brief times during the trip and only before she looked away out of embarrassment. Those few brief moments hadn't prepared her for this.

She knew he was fit, and that was even more obvious as her hands ran up and down the length of his back to work the sunscreen into his skin. Actually feeling his muscles under her fingertips was almost too much for her.

But the thing that truly made her blush was how fixated she was on the freckles and moles that dotted his skin. This man was a mosaic, and she wanted to sit and count them all.

She couldn't do that though. If she took too long doing this, it would be weird, and he'd be uncomfortable around her, which was the last thing she wanted. So, she rubbed the last bit into his lower back before dropping her hands away completely.

“Okay. You're all set.”

He turned back around to face her and took the bottle that she'd offered back to him. She hoped he didn't notice the blush that she was certain was now gracing her cheeks, and if he did notice, she hoped he'd think that maybe she was only a little sun-kissed already.

“I can get your back for you, if you want,” he offered.

“Oh, you don't need to do that. I'm not going out in the sun anytime soon. I was just planning on staying here under the umbrella for a little while.”

“You're not going to get in the water?”

“I'm not really a beach person,” she said with a small shrug. That was a lie, of course, but it was necessary. She needed a reason to explain why she wasn't taking off her clothes, and that was as good as anything else.

“Why didn't you say something sooner?”

“I didn't feel like it was my place to object to a multi-day, already planned portion of the trip. But seriously, don't worry about me. I'm happy to just hang out in the shade.”

“Do you want me to sit out with you? Keep you company?”

“You don't have to do that. Go have fun with Eddie and Nancy. Maybe I'll come hangout with you guys in a little bit, okay?”

“If you're sure. I don't want you to be bored over here by yourself.”

“I'll be fine. I promise. Don't worry about me.”

He left her to make herself comfortable in the shade of their beach umbrella, but he would have been lying to himself if he said he wasn't a little worried about her. He thought she'd seemed excited about the beach when they'd talked about this portion of the trip in the days leading up to it, and now she was isolating herself from the rest of them. 

He didn't want to dwell on it too much, but he kept finding himself glancing back towards where she was sitting. She looked fine though, so he told himself that she was just having an off day.

But then she didn't eat lunch. When everyone else was ready for food, she told them that she wasn't hungry just yet, but they didn't need to wait for her. He'd offered her some of his fries anyway, and she'd looked at them as if he'd just offered her a mouthful of sand. He didn't press the issue, but it worried him more than her sitting out all morning did.

He didn't know why he cared so much when he was still feeling somewhat hurt about the way she'd reacted when she found him reading. He shouldn't have cared if this girl who judged him was choosing to avoid having fun with her friends or skipping meals, but he did. And the more she kept to herself and gave flimsy excuses, the more he felt the urge to make sure she was okay.

When everyone else was ready for dinner, she claimed that she'd eaten a late lunch, so she wasn't hungry, and Steve's concern for her only grew. He'd tried to be subtle about it, but he'd spent the better part of the afternoon keeping an eye on her after she'd declined joining them for a swim. Other than a trip to the restrooms, he didn't think he'd seen her leave her spot under the umbrella once. Maybe she'd gotten a snack at some point, but he doubted it. Something was seriously wrong with Chrissy, and he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know if she'd even want him to fix it. He just knew he had to do something.

When the sun was just about to set, Nancy and Eddie wandered off to have a private moment together leaving Steve with the perfect opportunity to try to find out what was wrong. He approached her with two rocket pops that he'd purchased from a nearby ice cream cart, and he offered her one as he moved to sit down next to her.

“I'm really hoping you like rocket pops,” he told her as he handed her the treat. “I wasn't sure what flavor you'd choose, and I always got these as a kid because I was really indecisive, and they're three different flavors, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with this one, you know?”

With the sun setting, the breeze seemed especially cool, and he noticed that she was shivering a little as she hugged her knees to her chest. Before she could say anything about the popsicle he'd given her, he turned around and grabbed his windbreaker from where he'd tossed it that morning. He draped it around Chrissy's shoulders and gave them a little squeeze.

“That sea breeze is no joke,” he said as he offered up a small smile.

That was somehow the wrong thing for him to say because the next thing he knew, Chrissy was crying. This was the last thing he wanted to happen, and he was struggling to figure out what he could do for her.

His struggle was short-lived because Chrissy spoke up.

“Why are you so nice to me?” she asked. She was avoiding making eye contact with him, choosing to stare at the popsicle instead.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what is all this?” she asked as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand. “The popsicle and the jacket. The plushies. Making me feel safe when I was scared and reassuring me whenever I'm upset about something. I've been racking my brain, and I can't understand why anyone would be so nice to me. And I know you said that sometimes people are nice just because they want to be, but I don't deserve that kindness. I don't.”

If he didn't think she'd brush him off, he'd pull her closer to him and hold her until she stopped crying. This was obviously something that he couldn't fix with a popsicle and a smile.

“Who made you think that you don't deserve to be treated with kindness?”

Chrissy shook her head and wiped at her eyes again.

“That's okay,” he told her. “We can just sit here quietly. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”

So, they sat in silence. She waited until it had started to melt a little bit, but Chrissy did eat her popsicle. Steve wasn't counting that as a win though. Not when she was still so upset and shutting down on him. Not when he could still hear the occasional sniffle coming from her direction.

Once the sun had almost completely set, Chrissy started to feel braver. Maybe it was because Steve had sat with her while she cried and hadn't tried to force her to speak or maybe it was because she felt more hidden without the sun beating down on them - she just knew that, for the first time, she wasn't afraid to tell someone what was going on in her head.

“My mother,” she said, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“You asked me who made me think I didn't deserve to be treated with kindness, and I'm giving you an answer. I don’t talk about this with anybody because it’s not exactly the easiest thing in the world for me, but I don’t have the best relationship with my mom. I’ve always been the family disappointment, and nothing I do is ever good enough in her eyes.”

“I find it really hard to believe that a girl like you could be the family disappointment,” he told her. “You’re perfect.”

Chrissy huffed out a laugh.

“That’s because I have to be. Perfect, I mean. And I thought that maybe not being around her during this trip would help, but I can hear her telling me what a failure I am every time I do something that she wouldn’t approve of, and it’s actively ruining this trip for me. I usually love the beach, but I sat out today and punished myself for my bad eating habits because I could hear her telling me that it was obvious I’d gone off my diet and that everyone was going to stare at me because of how horrible I looked. Even now, I can hear her saying how foolish it was for me to waste calories on a treat when I’ve already done so much damage to myself with all of the junk I’ve been eating on this trip so far.

“She’d be furious if she ever found out that I was badmouthing her, but right now, I don’t care. The other day, you asked me why I never sing, and that’s her fault, too. I’ve wanted to be in musicals for as long as I can remember. I love them. I love the way that they make me feel, and I wanted nothing more than to provide other people with that same feeling. But then I was eleven, and I was singing along to whatever musical it was that I was obsessed with at the time, and my mother came in my room specifically to tell me that I had a very unpleasant voice, and I needed to stop doing that because it was never going to get me anywhere. So I did.

“I did everything she told me to. I joined cheerleading because she said that was something that I was better skilled for. I dated the boy that she wanted me to date. I became friends with the people that she wanted me to be friends with, and now pretty much all of them don’t even talk to me anymore because they sided with that boy during our breakup. The only thing I haven’t gone along with is cutting Eddie out of my life. I’d be a truly miserable person without him, and I won’t let her take him away from me, too.

“It’s like she’ll never be happy if I’m not miserable though. She picks and she picks and she picks until I feel so small that I just go along with whatever she says because that’s easier than standing up for myself while she takes away everything that has the potential to make me happy. And even if I do everything that she wants, I’ll never be good enough for her. She’ll never be proud of me.”

Chrissy hugged her knees closer to her chest and willed herself not to cry anymore. Letting all of that out had felt good in the moment, but now she was embarrassed that she’d word vomited on Steve and let him see through the cracks of the imperfect mask she wore.

“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I don’t talk about this with anybody, and I just dumped all of that on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s clearly something you needed to get out, and I’m glad I could be here for you.”

“Thank you.”

He might have seemed calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside, he could feel the anger building in his chest. Chrissy deserved better than that, and he had no way of fixing this. He didn’t know if it was something that really could be fixed.

But he understood how she felt. Her situation was different from his, but it pained him how much he related to her. So, while he couldn’t fix the hurt that she was feeling, maybe he could show her that she wasn’t alone.

“You know, your mom’s voice will get quieter eventually,” he told her. “Once you’re spending less time with her and more time with people who care about you and see the best in you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you and I are more alike than you think.”

He smiled at her, but she could tell there was something sort of bittersweet to it. There was a sadness in his eyes even though he was very clearly trying to be positive for her benefit.

“You know how I had that job at Scoops Ahoy?”

She nodded.

“Well, it wasn't exactly my decision to work there.”

“How does that have anything to do with the way my mother talks to me?”

“My dad and I have never exactly seen eye to eye about who I should be and what I should be doing with my life. I'm the family disappointment, too. I grew up knowing that I was never going to be good enough to be the man that he expected me to be. That's just how it was in my house, you know? I was always a problem because I didn't anticipate exactly what he wanted. Being on the basketball team or the swim team wasn't good enough unless I was the captain and did the best or the most in every single game. And even then, I still wasn't good enough. I could have scored the game winning point, and he would have complained that we didn't win by enough, which was obviously my fault because I didn't score enough. Stupid stuff like that.

“So when I graduated high school with mediocre grades and didn't get into a single college, I figured he was going to be even worse than normal. By then, I'd gotten pretty used to tuning him out, but it still hurt. It still sucked to hear nothing but negativity from him. He didn't say anything about it though. Just hung up the phone when I called to tell him since he and mom were on one of their long business trips at the time. That almost hurt worse. Yelling and belittling me? I can handle that. I was used to that. But him being so angry that he couldn't even speak? That was a whole new level.

“When they got home, the house wasn't up to their standards,” he huffed out a laugh. “It's so stupid to me now that it's almost funny. It wasn't even messy. I hadn't put the recycling in the garage, and there was a basket of laundry I hadn't folded yet in the kitchen. Maybe I'd left a towel on the floor or something, too. I don't really remember. I just know that he acted like I'd burnt the house to the ground instead of it actually looking a little lived in for once. He went on this tirade about how me not getting into college didn't mean that I could sit around the house doing nothing all day and wasting his hard-earned money. Told me that I didn't realize how good I had it and that it was about time for me to get a job and develop a real work ethic. Which is so stupid because I'd worked the past three summers as a lifeguard at the community pool, I was babysitting pretty regularly, and I was already actively looking for a job. I just hadn't found something yet. He didn't know any of that though. That would have required him to actually be present or to talk to me about something other than what a failure I am.

“Anyway, he made me apply for every single open job in Hawkins - even ones that I was in no way qualified for - and he made me put him down as a reference on every single one. That way he could bad mouth me to everyone who was interested in hiring me. He decided that the Scoops Ahoy uniform was humiliating enough, and that's why I ended up working there for the last year.”

“I'm so sorry,” she told him. “That sounds awful.”

“It wasn't all bad,” he said with a shrug. “I mean, the sailor uniform was awful, but at least it was comfortable. And I got to spend the year working with my best friend instead of in a boring office job with a bunch of mindless drones who kiss my dad's ass. The job was more for the humiliation than anything else, and he didn’t kick me out or cut me off, so I was able to save pretty much everything I made, so I'll eventually be able to move out and get my own place without using any of his money to do it. I'm glad that I never have to put in another shift there, but I don't hate that I had the experience.”

“Silver linings?” she asked.

“I guess so.”

There was more he wanted to say to her. Needed to say to her really. He was just afraid that he’d hurt her when she was already so vulnerable. It had to be said though, so he took a deep breath and huffed out a sigh before speaking again.

“The worst part about it was that I felt like I deserved it,” he started. “My dad has been telling me that I’m too stupid to make something of myself since I was old enough to understand what he was telling me. I was too stupid to get into college, so I was too stupid to work at his company or do any kind of job that wasn’t completely mindless. The only thing I was smart enough to do was scoop ice cream. I still struggle with the lasting effects of my dad’s words, so I know that what you’re dealing with isn’t easy. But, when I’m surrounded by the people I care about, my dad’s voice disappears. It gets a little easier to tell myself that I’m better than that.

“That’s why it hurt so much when you were surprised that I was reading. I’m used to my dad and people who don’t know me or have made assumptions about me thinking I’m dumb. ‘Of course, Steve Harrington can’t read. He’s just a dumb jock. He probably doesn’t even know what books are.’ But I thought that you and I had really been connecting with each other. That you’d seen past all of that and I could be real with you. So, it really stung knowing that you saw me as that stupid, and it reinforced the fact that maybe there is a little bit of truth to everything my dad has said over the years.”

Chrissy’s heart sank. None of that was true. She’d never once thought he was stupid, and she couldn’t let him think that about himself. She scooted closer to him on the blanket and grabbed one of his hands, gripping it tightly in her own.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “So, so incredibly sorry. I don’t think you’re stupid at all, and I’m sorry that I did something or reacted in some way that made you feel like you were. That was never my intention, and I would never purposely do something to make you feel bad about yourself. I will admit that I was surprised to find you reading, but not for the reasons you thought I was. Never for those reasons.”

Steve avoided looking at Chrissy and instead stared at where she was holding his hand.

“Why were you surprised then? If you don't mind me asking.”

“You’re just so different from what I expected,” she admitted. “I may not have officially met you until this trip, but it was hard not to hear stories about the King of Hawkins High just like I’m sure you heard plenty of stories about me. You’re so different from the person that I was led to believe you were, and the Steve that I’d heard so much about didn’t seem like a reader. Not because of how smart you hypothetically were or weren’t but because that just didn’t seem like a hobby you’d enjoy. But I think it's wonderful that you're a reader. I loved getting to see a side of you that not many other people have gotten to see, and I hope I didn’t ruin whatever connection we had. I would hate it if we couldn't be open with each other anymore because of something I did.

“And, for the record, there are a lot of things that are far more important than being the smartest person in the room. You're funny, you're so incredibly kind, and you care about people with your whole heart. I mean, just look at how much time you've spent taking pictures of a squirrel figurine just because you know how happy it's going to make your friend. You're so selfless, and I see you putting everyone else's needs above your own constantly. You've been doing that with me this whole trip.

“I know I haven't known you for very long, but anyone who spends five minutes with you can see that you're the very best kind of person, and your dad is a fucking idiot if he can't realize that.”

Steve was quiet for a moment. Partially because of how touched he was by what Chrissy had said and partially because he was pretty sure the strongest curse word he'd heard her say so far was “darn,” so he hadn't been expecting such a forceful statement from her.

“Thank you,” he finally said as he gave her hand a small squeeze. “Now, you say the same thing about your mom.”

She shook her head.

“I can't.”

“Yes, you can. Your mom is clearly a fucking idiot if she can't see that you're perfect just the way you are. I know it, and you know it. You just gotta get up and say it.”

She hesitated and bit her lower lip before shaking her head again.

“I really can't.”

“C'mon,” he said as he poked at her side with his free hand, smirking when she giggled and tried fidgeting away from him a little. “You'll feel so much better if you get up and yell it. She'll never find out because she's not here to hear you say it, and I'll hold your hand the entire time if you want.”

He moved to stand and then offered her his hand to help her up. She let him pull her to her feet, and soon they were standing together hand in hand.

“I'm right here,” he told her, giving her hand a small squeeze. “You don't have to do this alone.”

Chrissy nodded and took a deep breath as she turned to face the shoreline. She could do this. She knew she could do this. With Steve by her side, she could do anything. Everything would be okay.

“My mother is a fucking idiot!” she yelled out at the horizon. Her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth with her free hand. She was silent for a moment, but when she moved her hand away, Steve could see that it had been hiding the largest smile.

“I did it. I can't believe I did it,” she said as she turned to face him.

“You did.”

Chrissy dropped Steve's hand before practically leaping at him to wrap her arms around his neck. He caught her and wrapped his arms around her waist, but the force of her body colliding with his knocked him off balance on the uneven ground, and soon they were falling backwards into the sand. He landed flat on his back with her directly on top of him, and after the shock wore off, they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“I'm so sorry,” she said through her laughter. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”

“I'm okay. Are you?”

“Never better.”

Neither of them made any moves to get up or separate their bodies from each other. One of his hands was resting against the small of her back, and she felt so seen as he looked into her eyes. With their bodies pressed together like that, she could feel his chest moving with every breath he took, and she was certain that he could feel the way her heart was pounding against her ribcage. If there was ever a moment for her to kiss him and finally express that she was interested in him the way that she hoped he was interested in her, now was the time. She just had to make her move.

He reached up to brush her hair back behind her ear as she leaned in, and just as their lips were about to touch -

“Chrissy! Steve!” Eddie called out, effectively ruining their moment.

Steve cursed internally as Chrissy immediately moved off of him and tried to put a little distance between their bodies. Eddie had the worst timing in the world.

Steve tore his gaze away from where Chrissy was now hiding her face behind one of the sleeves of his jacket and looked over at Eddie who was carrying a very sleepy-looking Nancy on his back.

“Are you guys ready to head back to the motel?” he asked. “Nance is falling asleep on me, and I'm probably next.”

“Yeah, we can go,” Steve replied. “Just gotta pack up our umbrella and blanket first.”

“You good, Chrissy?” Eddie asked, finally noticing the way she seemed to be trying to get that jacket to swallow her whole.

“I'm fine,” she said without looking up at him. “Perfectly fine.”

Truthfully, she couldn't have been more embarrassed if she tried. She'd been about to kiss Steve after insisting that they were just friends, and now Eddie was never going to let her live it down. And the worst part was that she didn't even get to kiss him. They didn't kiss, the moment had passed, and she was afraid she'd never get the courage to be so bold again. Maybe, if she was lucky, Steve would take charge and be the one to kiss her, but she was afraid that their one perfect moment had passed them by to never be recreated again.

She tried not to dwell on that too much, but it was the only thing she could think of on the drive back to the motel, and it was the only thing she could think of as she waited for everyone else to be done with the bathroom so she could take a shower. That thought was surely going to consume her.

While Chrissy was in the shower, Steve headed out to attempt to find a vending machine so he could get them all a drink. Once he was gone, Eddie flopped over next to Nancy on her bed.

“Eddie, no,” Nancy groaned. “You'll fall asleep.”

“I won't,” he insisted even though his voice was barely loud enough for her to hear him.

“You will. And then where will Chrissy sleep?”

“She can sleep here, too. I don't mind.”

“No room. Get in your own bed.”

“Five minutes.” He buried his face in her neck. “I'll get up when she's done. Promise.”

When Chrissy exited the bathroom, Eddie and Nancy were curled up next to each other and fast asleep with him softly snoring as he held her caged in his arms. Chrissy would have thought it was cute if it didn't send her straight into a panic. If Eddie was sleeping in her bed, that meant she was sleeping in his bed. And, if she was sleeping in his bed, that meant she was sharing with Steve. Steve who she would have kissed if they hadn't been interrupted. They were going to be sharing a bed that had barely felt big enough when she was sharing with Nancy, and she was certain it was going to feel ten times smaller when she was laying next to him.

She cautiously sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to make herself seem casual even if her insides were in knots. She was just about to get up and go hide in the bathroom when Steve reentered their room.

“I came out of the bathroom, and they were like that,” she blurted out before he could say anything. She didn't want him to think she'd planned this or encouraged it in any way.

“I had a feeling that might happen,” he admitted. “I didn't expect either of them to be up when I got back, if I'm being honest. I figured Eddie'd at least fall asleep in our bed though.”

“He didn't.”

“No, he did not.”

Steve moved to hand Chrissy one of the water bottles he was carrying before grabbing his pillow off the bed and tossing it on the floor.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Eddie took your spot, so you need a place to sleep. You take my bed. I'm fine on the floor.”

“Oh. I thought we could share.”

Of course, he didn't want to sleep next to her. That was too much for her to expect. He probably hadn't even wanted to kiss her, and she would have made a fool out of herself if they hadn't been interrupted.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked. “It'll be kind of crowded, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I'm not letting you sleep on the floor. I think we can manage just fine, don't you?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

He grabbed his pillow off the floor and placed it back on the bed before climbing in and making himself comfortable. She followed his lead and climbed into the bed next to him after turning off the lights, but she tried to keep as much space between them as humanly possible. He had been worried about her comfort, but she was worried that she'd crowd him too much. She had a bad habit of clinging to anyone or anything that was sharing her bed with her. She could have blamed it on her being afraid when they were sharing the tent, but she'd never forgive herself if she made things even more awkward between them now.

Steve noticed that she was trying to put space between them and failing miserably. He knew what it had to be about because it was the same thing that he couldn't stop thinking about: she'd almost kissed him on that beach. He was sure that's what was about to happen. If they hadn't been interrupted, she would have kissed him, and he would have gotten to tell her how much he'd been wanting to do exactly that.

But that hadn't happened, and now they were in this weird limbo where they didn't know how to talk to each other anymore because that missed moment was hanging over them. He was afraid that the awkwardness building between them wouldn't go away until they'd actually kissed, and that definitely wasn't going to happen tonight. Not when Eddie and Nancy were sleeping in the next bed. But he had to do something so they could both relax.

“So, my Fozzie impression is nowhere near as good as my Kermit,” he said as he rolled over to face her. “But I can give it a shot if you're missing him.”

Chrissy shot up into a sitting position and playfully glared down at him.

“Are you making fun of me?” she asked.

“Oh, no. I would never,” he said with a teasing smirk.

Chrissy gasped and placed a hand over her heart in mock offense. The next thing Steve knew, she'd pounced and was tickling up and down his sides.

“Chrissy!” he sputtered out through his laughter. “Why?”

“C'mon, Steve,” she said as she continued her playful torture. “You wanted to be Fozzie, and Fozzie just loves to laugh.”

He tried to fight her off the best he could, but she was quick, switching spots around his torso whenever he tried to grab at her wiggling fingers, and it was hard for him to anticipate where she'd move next when his eyes were scrunched shut with laughter. She couldn't help but smile and laugh along with him as he flinched whenever she hit an especially sensitive spot.

Her hands traveled lower to squeeze at his hips, and he was finally able to grab ahold of her wrists and pull her hands off of him. His laughter died down, but his smile never left his face as he tried to regain his composure.

“This is adorable. Where else are you ticklish?” she asked, wiggling her fingers in his direction while he kept her hands trapped.

“No more. Please.”

“Can I have my hands back then?”

“Never. You've lost your hand privileges for being evil.”

“I'm a big sister. It comes with the territory,” she said with an innocent smile and a tiny shrug.

“Well, if that's the case, I should probably let you know that as an only child, I don't like losing at anything. Ever. Including tickle fights.”

Before Chrissy could protest, Steve was scrambling to switch their positions, and she was laying flat on her back with him hovering over her. He kept her wrists pinned with one hand and the other hand rested against her side. He made no moves to tickle her yet. Just held her there to build anticipation.

“And what if I said I wasn't ticklish?” she asked.

“I think we both know that would be a lie.”

He punctuated his point with a quick poke to her side in the spot that had her giggling and moving away from him earlier, and he smirked down at her as she bit her lower lip and squirmed in his grasp.

“Steve, we're gonna wake up Eddie and Nancy.”

“You weren't concerned about them at all when I was the one being tickled,” he teased with a flutter of his fingers against her side. “And since I was viciously attacked for offering to do something nice, I think this is only fair.”

He kept his touch teasing and light, just enough to make her start giggling and squirming, tracing patterns on her side with the hand that wasn't pinning her wrists. Truthfully, he just wanted to see her smiling. He wanted to erase any memory of her tears from the beach because he never wanted to see her that sad again. And if playing around like this made her happy, who was he to deny her a little fun?

Once he felt like he'd teased her enough, he released her wrists to make it a fair fight and started tickling up and down her sides much like she'd done to him. Her laughter picked up, but instead of trying to stop his hands like he'd done with her, she tried to tickle him back. She got in a few good pokes, but every time she tried to really get him, he moved to attack an exposed armpit, and soon her arms were retracting to try and protect what he was assuming was her most ticklish spot from the reactions she was giving him.

When he found a spot on her ribs that had her kicking her legs and laughing so hard that she snorted, she tapped out.

“Truce,” she managed to get out through her laughter. “Please.”

“Since you asked so nicely.”

Steve's hands slowed to a stop, but he made no moves to remove them from her sides. He just held her in place as she came down from her giggle high.

“I can't believe I snorted,” she said once she'd caught her breath. “That's so embarrassing.”

She covered her face with her hands.

He really wanted to kiss her.

Instead, he removed his hands from her sides and pulled her hands away from her face.

“I don’t know. I thought it was kinda cute.”

Chrissy was thankful for how dark the room was because she was sure her face was beet red. He couldn't call her cute when her skin was still tingling from the way he'd just had his hands all over her. She wasn't strong enough to handle this.

“We should probably go to sleep,” she told him.

“You're probably right. We've got another big beach day tomorrow.”

“I might even swim this time.”

“I'd really like it if you did.”

Steve rolled over to make himself comfortable, and without him practically on top of her, Chrissy finally realized how cold it was in the room. For such a crappy motel, they were really blasting the air conditioning, and the blankets on the bed just weren't cutting it. She didn't remember being this cold the night before, but she was pretty preoccupied with trying not to obsess over the fact that Steve was sleeping shirtless in the next bed. He was wearing a shirt tonight though, so she no longer had that distraction.

She started to think that maybe she wouldn't be so cold with Steve's arms around her again. All she had to do was get him to cuddle with her. How hard could that be?

“Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Is your offer to be my Fozzie for the night still on the table?”

God, he really wanted to kiss her.

Steve rolled back over and opened his arms for her, and she scooched over to him. She rested her head on his chest and draped an arm over his waist as she snuggled as close to him as humanly possible. As he wrapped his arms around her in turn, she immediately started to feel a little warmer. He was like a furnace, radiating heat and making her feel more comfortable.

Once she was fully settled against him, he leaned in towards her slightly.

“Wocka wocka,” he said in his best attempt at a Fozzie impression.

Chrissy gasped, and the arm that she had draped around his waist moved to tickle his side again.

“Hey!” he laughed as he grabbed her hand and pulled it away from his body. “I thought we had a truce?”

“My real Fozzie doesn't speak,” she said matter of factly. “He only snuggles.”

“My apologies.”

He gave her hand a little squeeze, but neither of them made any move to let go of the other.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Night, Chrissy.”

And so the two drifted off to sleep still holding hands.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Eddie woke up to use the toilet, and when he exited the bathroom, the light illuminated Chrissy and Steve snuggled up together in their sleep. He wasn't sure if he was really seeing it or if it was just a trick of his still half asleep mind. So, instead of turning out the light and going back to bed, he crept closer and took a quick picture of them with his phone. He couldn't guarantee that they'd still be like that in the morning, and he needed proof that this had actually happened to show Nancy once she was awake. It was going to be a lot harder for the two of them to deny that something was happening between them now.

***

When Chrissy woke up the next morning, she was laying on her side with her back pressed up against Steve's chest. His arm was draped over her and holding her close, and as far as she could tell, he was still fast asleep. A quick glance around the room told her that they were alone, but she could hear the shower running, so she assumed at least one of their friends was in the bathroom right now.

Normally, she was a morning person - the kind of morning person who liked to get out of bed and start her day immediately to be exact - but she was content to laze about in bed for the entire day if it meant Steve would keep holding her like that. The longer she stayed laying there the more her thoughts started to turn on her though. Even if he was cuddling her in his sleep, maybe he hadn't wanted her practically on top of him the night before. Maybe his initial offer of being her Fozzie for the evening really had been a joke, and he hadn't actually wanted to have her clinging to him like that. She'd been far too forward with him, and he wasn't interested in her in that way at all. He'd tell her that himself once he'd woken up.

And her mother would absolutely lose her mind if she knew that her daughter had shared a bed with a boy. Even if it was purely platonic - which Chrissy wasn’t even sure if it was - she could hear her mother calling her a tramp and telling her that only a common whore shared a bed with a man that she wasn't married to.

The more she thought about it, the more she needed to get out of that bed immediately, but Steve was holding onto her pretty securely. She tried to wiggle her way out of his arms, but he just seemed to hold onto her tighter.

“Good morning,” he said as he gave her a little squeeze, settling deeper into their blankets.

And, just like that, all of Chrissy's bad thoughts washed away. There was nowhere else she’d rather be when she could hear the smile in Steve's sleepy, scratchy voice. Any doubts in her mind about whether or not he'd really wanted to cuddle with her vanished when he only seemed to snuggle closer to her now that he was awake.

“Good morning,” she said, rolling over onto her back so she could look at him. His hair was sticking out in all directions, and he was looking at her with the sweetest, sleepiest smile. Her heart melted just a little bit at the sight. “You sleep okay?”

“Best sleep of my life. You?”

“Never better. Thank you for being my temporary Fozzie. I kind of really needed that comfort after everything we talked about. Plus, you're really warm. Kept me from freezing to death last night.”

“I see how it is,” he teased. “I'm just an object to you. Making me feel real cheap here, Cunningham.”

Steve tried to act offended, but it was hard to believe that he actually was when the smile never left his face which only made Chrissy start to laugh.

“And now she laughs at me! I save her from certain death, and she laughs at me. I’m wounded. Seriously wounded.”

This made her laugh even harder to the point where she snorted again and immediately moved to look away from him.

“Okay, I think I need to get up now,” she said as she started to work her way out of Steve’s grasp.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m not ready to start the day yet, so you can’t be ready either.”

“But what if I wanted to get breakfast?” she asked.

“Nope. You’re trapped. How tragic.”

He pulled her to lay with her back against his chest again as he burrowed deeper into their blankets.

“Well, if I’m trapped, I guess I have no other option than to accept my fate and stay here,” she said as she made herself comfortable again.

“A wise decision really. And, for the record, I don't mind being your personal space heater. It wasn't exactly an unenjoyable experience for me either.”

“Good to know.”

With Steve holding her like that, it was all too easy for her to fall back asleep until Eddie burst back into their room from outside.

“I come bearing sustenance!” he announced, holding up a couple of white paper bags.

She wasn't sure how long she'd dozed off, but the shower was still running, so it couldn't have been very long. But with Eddie back in the room, she was starting to feel self-conscious about how snuggled up with Steve she was. He didn't seem to care though, and he made no moves to stop cuddling her, so that helped to quiet those thoughts. If Steve didn't care about how much Eddie was about to tease them, she could try not to care, too.

But the teasing never came. Instead, Eddie just sat down on the edge of the bed that he'd shared with Nancy the night before and passed one of the bags over to Steve.

“I wasn't sure what you guys wanted since you were still sleeping when I left, but I went to this burrito place around the corner and just ordered whatever sounded decent,” he told them.

Steve moved to sit up and Chrissy had to stop herself from looking visibly upset about the fact that he wasn't holding her anymore. She moved to sit up as well and took the bag from Steve when he offered it to her. When she peeked inside and saw the size of the burrito that was left for her, she could feel her stomach starting to churn. It was massive. Much larger than anything she ever would have ordered for herself. She could already hear her mother telling her that everyone would think she was a pig if she dared to eat more than a single bite of that monstrosity, and she wanted nothing more than to set the bag aside and nibble on one of her granola bars instead.

But then Steve was nudging her with his elbow. She pulled her gaze away from her breakfast to look up at him.

“Fucking idiots. Remember?”

He offered up a small smile, and soon the furrow of her brow softened as she smiled back.

“Yeah. Fucking idiots.”

And, just like that, she was able to enjoy her breakfast. Nothing bad was going to happen to her if she ate this breakfast burrito. She didn't even notice the weird look that Eddie was giving them until he spoke up.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What was what?” Steve answered.

“You know what. Anything you two wanna share with the class?”

Before either of them could respond, Nancy opened the bathroom door and poked her head out.

“Eddie, could you give me a hand here? My bikini top is twisted, and I'm having trouble fixing it on my own.”

Eddie pushed himself off the bed and made his way into the bathroom where Nancy immediately closed the door behind him. She was already fully dressed, and there were no issues with her top like she’d said.

“After you showed me that picture, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to pester them about what happened between them last night?” she asked in a hushed tone. “They’re not going to tell us anything if you put them on the spot like that.”

“Well, you’re ninety seven percent of my impulse control, and you weren’t out there.”

“Okay, so how about instead of questioning them before they’re ready to tell us what’s happening, you text Robin that picture and get her opinions on this situation? She might have a better insight into whether or not Steve's really interested in her or not.”

“But I already know Steve's into her,” Eddie admitted. “He's just waiting for her to make the first move.”

“When did he tell you this?” Nancy asked. “Actually, better question: why is this the first that I'm hearing about this?”

“While we were camping, and I could have sworn I told you.”

“No. This is completely new information for me, and this changes everything. What are the chances that Chrissy makes the first move though?”

“Slim to none.”

“That's what I was afraid of. Group text with Robin?”

“Way ahead of you.”

All Eddie did was drop the photo he'd taken of Chrissy and Steve asleep together, and soon Robin was spamming them with messages.

Robin: !!!!

Robin: what?

Robin: when?

Robin: how?

Robin: details! I need details!!!!!

Eddie: don't know. last night. also don't know.

Nancy: but they're clearly flirting with each other

Eddie: and neither of them are willing to make the first move so it's physically painful to watch them

Robin: has he done the hand size thing yet? that's a classic move on his part

Nancy: no. not in front of us at least. but they've been holding hands quite a bit, so I wouldn't be surprised if he has.

Robin: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robin: why is this the first I'm hearing about this?

Robin: I demand constant updates!

Eddie: any tips for getting steve to kiss her already?

Robin: leave them alone as much as possible maybe? they're both probably feeling pressured because of you two constantly staring at them

Nancy: I am not constantly staring at them

Nancy: eddie on the other hand

Eddie: hey! I don't stare.

Eddie: I occasionally observe to make sure my best friend is having the best vacation possible

Eddie: it's what she deserves

Robin: sure

Robin: just let me know when they kiss!

“So, what do you think?” Eddie asked. “Think we can manage to give them some alone time?”

“I have an idea for that actually. Get back out there and give me five minutes to tie up some loose ends in here, alright?”

“As you wish.”

Eddie made his way out of the bathroom and back into the room’s main area where he found Steve and Chrissy still sitting practically on top of each other in bed even though they’d had plenty of time to move apart while he was gone. As much as he wanted to continue pestering them about how snuggled up they were when he came back from getting breakfast, he was trying to behave and do as Nancy said. There would be plenty of time to question them later, so he focused on finishing his burrito instead.

“I know we’re supposed to stay here for another night, but I can’t stay in this motel another minute,” Nancy said when she finally emerged from the bathroom. “That bathroom is disgusting, and we need more space than this. I did a little research this morning, and I managed to find a bed and breakfast not too far from here that has two open rooms, so we’re staying there for our last night here. Make sure all your stuff is packed before we leave for the beach so we can deal with checkout now and never have to come back here again.”

Chrissy felt a little conflicted with this new information. On one hand, the idea of a cozy little bed and breakfast where she’d have more space and a shower that didn’t look straight out of a horror movie sounded heavenly after two nights in their cramped and dingy motel room. However, she knew that meant that her opportunity to snuggle up with Steve for another night was officially off the table. She knew it was silly of her to expect that they’d end up sharing a bed for a second night in a row since that hadn’t been part of the plan for the night before in the first place, but she was still somewhat hopeful that Eddie would have fallen asleep in the wrong bed again to give her another chance.

“Sounds great,” Steve said before turning towards Chrissy. “Do you want the bathroom next, or should I go first?”

“You go first. I can wait.”

Steve finally got out of bed and gathered up the things he'd need in the bathroom. Once he was inside the bathroom, Nancy put part of her plan into action.

“I'm sorry you two had to share a bed,” she said as she started to repack her suitcase. “I told Eddie that he couldn't stay with me, but I fell asleep and couldn't stop him from doing the same.”

“That's okay,” Chrissy told her. “We didn't mind.”

“Still. It wasn't really fair to you. I know how small these beds are, and it couldn’t have been comfortable for either of you.”

Chrissy remained quiet. Part of her wanted to talk about last night with Nancy. Getting another woman’s opinion on the situation sounded so appealing to her, and maybe she’d have advice on how to proceed. The issue was that she didn’t want to talk about this in front of Eddie. She loved her best friend. Honestly, she did. There was nothing about him that she’d ever want to change, but she knew him. She knew that he would tease her about this, and that wasn’t what she needed when she was so unsure about how she was feeling and whether or not she was making a fool of herself right now.

Almost as if she could read the uncertainty on Chrissy’s face, Nancy turned her attention towards her boyfriend where he was lounging on the bed and finishing off his burrito.

“Do you mind going to get us something to drink? Maybe just some water bottles from the vending machine? Please?” she asked him.

“I thought you wanted me to pack my stuff?”

“Well, you aren’t packing right now, and I would be very grateful if you gave us the opportunity to have a little private girl talk.”

Eddie glanced back and forth between the two for a moment before pushing himself up from the bed and heading towards the door.  

“You’re lucky I love you,” he said. “Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Nancy called after him as he left.

She waited until she was sure that Eddie was gone and made sure she could hear the shower running to be sure that Steve wouldn’t be able to hear them either before turning her attention back towards Chrissy.

“Steve didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, did he?” she asked as she moved to sit down next to her. “Because I’ll go in that bathroom and strangle him right now if he took advantage of you or forced you to snuggle up to him like that. Just say the word, and I’ll do it.”

“It wasn't like that,” Chrissy insisted. “Steve was very much a gentleman. Honest.”

“Okay, good. Because I really would have strangled him if that wasn't the case. Can I ask you something else then?”

Chrissy nodded.

“If he was such a gentleman, why did you get so quiet when I brought up the beds?”

“I just didn't want Eddie to tease me.”

“Why would he have teased you?”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“You know, I really want us to be friends,” Nancy said as she considered Chrissy's question. “Of course, we've technically hung out together before, but that was always Eddie's doing. We were both there for him and not for each other. Other than Robin, I don't really have any friends that are girls, so when Eddie invited you to come with us, I was excited for the opportunity to finally get to know you a little better. I want us to be close, so you can absolutely be honest with me, and I promise I'll be honest with you in return.”

A smile lit up Chrissy's face. She'd never voice these fears out loud, but she'd spent a great deal of time afraid that Nancy only put up with her because of her friendship with Eddie. That Nancy only saw her as her boyfriend's annoying best friend and tolerated her being around for the sake of her relationship. So, hearing that Nancy actually wanted to be friends with her outside of the context of what Eddie meant to them really helped to push those fears aside. She never did this kind of thing with the other cheerleaders, but she trusted that she could share what was currently on her mind without fear of judgment.

“Well, if I'm being completely honest here, I'm the one who asked him to cuddle with me.”

“You did?”

“I did. I mean, he offered, but I thought it might have been a joke at first? But then I asked him, and he didn't even say anything. Just opened his arms to let me get closer to him, and he seemed to care more about my comfort than his own. It was very sweet actually.”

She stared down at her lap as she remembered the feeling of Steve's arms wrapped around her, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought. What she wouldn't give to fall asleep like that again.

“Chrissy Cunningham,” Nancy said with a beaming smile of her own. “Is that a blush I see?”

“I don't know. Maybe?” she replied.

“I think you like him.”

“I don't think that really matters. We barely know each other.”

“So? Do you remember when I interviewed you and Eddie for the school paper? For your production of Pygmalion?”

Chrissy nodded.

“That was the first real conversation I ever had with Eddie, and I knew I liked him by the time I left that auditorium. I felt terrible about it because I thought there was something going on between the two of you, but the feelings were still there regardless. So, I don't think it matters how long you've known him. All that matters is what you're feeling and whether or not you want to act on those feelings.”

“I'm not saying that I like him,” Chrissy insisted. “But, say that I do have feelings for him? Am I making a fool out of myself?”

“I don't think so. I've seen the way he looks at you, and I think that he could maybe like you, too. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there.”

“That's easier said than done. I've never just told a guy that I'm interested before.”

“You haven't?”

She shook her head.

“Jason was my first real relationship, and he was the one who asked me out. I've been second guessing a lot of that whole experience lately, so I have no idea what I'm doing here.”

“I don't know what I can say other than Steve is a great guy. He won't make you feel bad about yourself even if he doesn't feel the same way. I should know. I have firsthand experience with him.”

“Does that make this weird for you? Me asking you for advice on how to flirt with your ex, I mean?”

“Steve and I weren't right for each other, and it was never going to work out between us. Maybe if this had happened right after we broke up, I'd feel differently, but I view him the same way that I view my younger brother now. He annoys me to no end, but I can't imagine my life without him in it, and I just want him to be happy. If you'll make him happy, then I'm happy to give you a little nudge in the right direction.”

“You really think I could make him happy?”

“Yeah, I think I do. There's just something about the way he smiles at you. So, maybe just give him the opportunity to make the first move if you can't bring yourself to do it. I don't think you'll regret it.”

“Thank you.”

Chrissy didn't know what else to say. She might not have been sure how she would make it known that she was interested in starting something with Steve, but Nancy had effortlessly cleared away a sizable amount of her nerves about the whole situation.

“You're welcome,” Nancy replied. “Now pack up everything you don't need for the day. I don't want to spend a second longer in this place than I absolutely have to.”

With that, Nancy got up to finish packing her own things and get a start on Eddie's bags as well. Soon enough, it was Chrissy’s turn for the bathroom, and she found herself rushing through her morning routine to be ready as soon as possible. After the conversation that she’d had with Steve the night before, she was actually looking forward to their day at the beach. Her mother’s voice was still there - she knew it wouldn’t disappear completely overnight - but it was slightly easier to ignore it when she could recall Steve telling her that she was perfect.

So, when they were finally settled into their beach spot for the day, it only took her silently repeating that her mother was a fucking idiot to allow herself to take off her cover up and let other people see her wearing a bathing suit. Even if she felt a little self-conscious, she knew that her nautical themed bikini kept the parts of her that she was the most self-conscious about covered with its high-waisted bottoms. She could be brave about this, but she still felt herself freeze when Steve looked in her direction. As he approached her with his bottle of sunscreen, she told herself to play it cool. She could handle this. She knew she could.

“Mind giving me a hand again?” he asked, offering her the bottle.

She took it from him and helped him apply the sunscreen to his back again just like she’d done the day before. When she was finished, she handed the bottle back.

“Mind doing the same for me?” she asked.

She turned her back to him and pushed her hair over her shoulder so it would be out of his way. She tried to keep her cool as he took his time making sure he covered every inch of exposed skin on her back, but this was very different from them being snuggled up while fully clothed. Her skin was on fire with every little touch, and she hadn't realized just how large his hands were until could feel how much of her back they could cover at once.

After what felt like an eternity and still not enough time, Steve placed his hands on her shoulders and gave them a small squeeze.

“You're all set.”

“Thanks,” she said as she turned around to face him. “I appreciate it.”

“You're welcome. Cute suit by the way,” he said as he reached out to fiddle with one of the decorative white buttons closest to the top of her bikini bottoms. “I like the blue. It really makes your eyes pop.”

“Thanks,” she said, avoiding meeting his gaze. This was the exact kind of opportunity that she knew Nancy was talking about that morning. It would be so easy for her to just reach out and run a hand up his arm. She could smile at him and give his bicep a little squeeze. Look up at him and bat her eyes. Move a little closer to him and make it so much easier for him to lean in and kiss her. It would be so easy.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not there and not in that moment. Flirting with him while she was so exposed felt too intimidating. She needed a little push which meant getting some alone time with Nancy to get her opinion on how to proceed.

“So, are you gonna get into the water with us today?” he asked, pulling her away from her thoughts.

“I think so,” she replied. “But I was hoping to have a little girl time with Nancy first if that's alright with her.”

“Absolutely not,” Eddie said. “You already had girl time this morning. It's my turn. You can't have her.”

With that, Eddie grabbed Nancy around the waist and lifted her to run away from his friends and towards the shoreline with her giggling and shrieking the whole way.

Chrissy and Steve shared a look, and she backed up slightly when she saw the mischievous smile that lit up his face.

“I'm not sure I like whatever you're thinking right now,” she said as she took another step backwards. 

The smile on her own face betrayed her, and soon, Steve was lunging to grab her. He lifted her with ease, and she clung to him as he ran to join Eddie and Nancy.

“Don't you dare drop me,” she managed to get out between her giggles.

It wasn't lost on her that Steve was treating her the same way that Eddie was treating his girlfriend, and she could feel her heart flutter as he gently let her down once they were about waist deep in the water.

“Look who's decided to join us today,” he announced to the other couple. “And only slightly against her will.”

“I was going to come out here eventually,” she insisted.

“Allegedly.”

Chrissy splashed in his direction which only led to him splashing her back, and soon they were enmeshed in an all out water war with Eddie and Nancy finally allowing Chrissy to act like the carefree girl she deserved to be.

***

When lunchtime finally rolled around, the group sprawled out on their blanket with sandwiches and chips from a nearby cart. After a morning of playing around in the water, they were all ready for a bit of a break.

“What are you looking forward to the most about being in D.C. tomorrow?” Nancy asked Chrissy as she started to unwrap her food. “I realized this morning that we never really got your input about what you wanted to do on this trip, and I could easily rearrange our schedule to include anything that we left out that's on any potential list you have.”

“Oh, I don't really have a list. This is your trip and not mine. You don't need to change anything on my behalf.”

“Don't be silly,” Nancy insisted. “This is just as much your trip as it is ours. If there's anything you want to do, I'll make sure it happens.”

“It's fine. Honestly, I'm just happy to be along for the ride.”

Steve frowned. If they hadn't had their heart to heart the night before, he might have believed her. But, knowing the pressure she was under to be agreeable and not be seen as a burden, he had a feeling that she wasn't allowing herself to do something that she felt might be an imposition. He felt compelled to make her realize that she was allowed to want things, and he thought he had a pretty good idea on how to do it.

When they finished eating, Steve excused himself saying that he was heading to the restrooms. Instead, he went in search of a vendor he was certain that he'd seen earlier. He quickly found them and purchased a single seashell collection jar. With a scrap of an old receipt, a sharpie, and some tape that he had in the glove box of his car, he made a new label for the jar.

Once he was happy with how it looked, he made his way back to where he'd left the group, and he found Chrissy by herself.

“I think Eddie and Nancy ran off to build a sandcastle,” she told him as he sat down next to her. “I told them I'd wait for you to get back.”

“This is for you,” he said as he handed her the jar. He watched as she eyed the label.

“The Chrissy needs to be nicer to herself jar?”

“Whenever I catch you being mean to yourself, you have to put a dollar in the jar. Every single time until we're back in Hawkins. And that includes you insisting that this isn't your trip, too. You might not have helped plan it, but you're an important part of it. For all of us.”

She was quiet for a moment, turning the jar over and passing it back and forth between her hands as she considered what Steve had told her.

“And what happens with the money at the end of the trip?” she asked when she finally spoke up.

“Well, if I see you putting yourself first, I might give you a dollar back, but I was thinking that we'd put this money towards doing something fun together after the trip.”

“Just the two of us?”

“Yeah. Just the two of us.”

“Okay. I can agree to those terms. Do I have to put a dollar in for saying I'm just along for the ride then?”

“I'll let that slide since it was before I made the jar. I just want you to realize that you're allowed to want things.”

“You know I'm not used to that.”

“I do.”

“Then you also know how hard this is going to be for me.”

“That doesn't mean I'm not going to help you get used to it.” He reached over and took one of her hands in his. “You deserve to be a little selfish sometimes.”

Chrissy didn't know if she could be selfish and put herself first. That went against everything her mom had forced her to believe over the years. She was supposed to be agreeable and go along with what everyone else wanted or else nobody would ever want her. But then there was Steve who was giving her hand a little squeeze and smiling at her and telling her that it was okay to care about her own happiness. She didn't know if she could do what he wanted her to do, but when he cared about her this much, she knew she could try.

***

Once they'd finished another long day at the beach, they made their way to the bed and breakfast that Nancy had found that morning. Nancy pulled Chrissy inside with her to check in, leaving the boys to unload and carry in all of their bags from the car.

“Now, you can say no to this, and I won't be mad at all,” Nancy said once they were out of earshot. “But I was maybe wondering if you'd be willing to share a room with Steve tonight? We have a room with one bed and a room with two beds booked, so obviously you would get the room with two beds. It's not like I'm expecting anything to happen between you two, and I don't want you to think this is me putting any pressure on you to make that kind of move on him or anything. It's just that Eddie and I really haven't gotten much alone time on this trip, and I'd really like to have a night for just the two of us, you know? But only if you're okay with sharing with Steve by yourself. If you're uncomfortable with that, just say the word, and you and I can share like we originally planned.”

The idea of sharing a room with Steve was both exciting and terrifying for Chrissy. On one hand, she'd never spent the night alone with a boy with a before. Not unless you counted Eddie, and she certainly didn't since there was no physical attraction between them. It was different with Steve. She still hadn't built up the courage to make a move or even let him know that she was open to him making a move, and sharing a room with him definitely threw that door open in a way that she wasn't sure if she was ready for.

On the other hand, the idea of potentially getting to sleep snuggled up to him again was so appealing. And knowing that there were two beds in the room helped to calm her nerves because she didn't have to share with him if she ended up being too afraid to ask him for another night of cuddles. They could just be two people sharing a room. Nothing had to happen between them.

“I can share with Steve,” she decided. “I don't mind.”

“You're literally my favorite person right now,” Nancy said as she pulled Chrissy in for a hug. “Thank you. I owe you one, okay?”

“Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your alone time with Eddie.”

Nancy got them checked in just as the guys entered carrying their bags.

“Steve, you're sharing with Chrissy if that's alright with you,” she said as she passed Chrissy her room key.

“I am?” That certainly wasn't the sleeping arrangement he'd expected.

“The room has two beds, and she's already agreed to it. You're allowed to say no though.”

“If it's fine with Chrissy, it's fine with me.”

“Perfect. We'll see you two in the morning for breakfast then.”

With that, Nancy started to make her way towards her room pulling a very confused looking Eddie behind her.

“So, are you actually okay with this, or do I need to make you put another dollar in the jar?” he asked once the other couple was gone.

“We shared a bed last night, Steve. I'm past being uncomfortable with sharing a room with you. Besides, it'll be just like our first night at the motel. The only difference is that we don't have to share our beds or listen to Eddie snoring.”

“Fair enough.”

They made their way to their room, and Chrissy called dibs on the first shower the second Steve had set down their bags. She wanted nothing more than to wash the sand and salt water out of her hair and put on some comfier clothes, and she wanted to do it as soon as possible.

When she'd finished in the bathroom, Steve took his turn which left her to think about their sleeping arrangements. To her, it was clear which bed Steve had claimed for himself. He'd set his bags at the foot of the first bed, and Chrissy's belongings were set on the second. She could easily accept this and climb into her own bed while he was in the bathroom.

But Nancy's voice was in the back of her head reminding her that all she had to do was take an opportunity to let Steve know that she was open to him making the first move. And what better way to let him know that than to be sitting on his bed when he came back into the room? And even if he didn't make a move and all they did was cuddle like they had the night before, that was still better than nothing at all. Maybe it was a little bit more bold than she was used to being, but she couldn't let herself sit on the sidelines while her life happened around her. She had to take charge in the little ways she could or else nothing was going to change.

So, without giving it another thought, she climbed onto Steve's bed and tried to make herself look casual as she flipped through instagram stories on her phone. Forget the fact that she was a bundle of nerves about how he was going to react to this. She could be cool and casual.

When Steve exited the bathroom and saw Chrissy lounging on his bed, he stopped in his tracks. He hadn't been expecting that from her after she'd made a point out of saying that they didn't have to share their beds that night. Yet there she was sitting on the bed that he'd claimed as if that was the most obvious place for her to be.

He was almost afraid to comment on it because he didn't want to scare her away. So, instead of saying anything, he just grabbed his bags and moved them over to the other bed. Then, he climbed onto the first bed to sit next to Chrissy.

“I don't know if you noticed,” he started. “But I kinda thought this was my bed.”

“I noticed. I just happened to decide that I wanted this bed, too. And I believe I recall a certain someone telling me that I was allowed to want things.”

Steve let out a laugh and smirked over at her.

“Careful, Chrissy. First, you invade my tent. Now, you're taking over my bed for the second night in a row. I'm starting to think you might have some ulterior motives here.”

She could have told him that she was hoping he'd take the hint, but she couldn't bring herself to make that final push. Instead, she playfully pushed his shoulder which only led to him pushing her back, and soon they were in a full on elbow war. Then, Steve got in one perfectly placed poke to Chrissy's side that left her giggling and squirming away from him. The same mischievous smile from earlier lit up his face again as he turned his full attention towards her.

“You know, I never did get back at you for ignoring our truce last night.”

“You wouldn't dare.” Chrissy's eyes went wide as she started to curl in on herself in anticipation.

“Oh, but I would.”

He was poised to strike, but before he could, she started laughing without him even touching her.

“Now, this is adorable,” he said with a wiggle of his fingers in her direction. All he had to do was hover his hands over her and act like he was about to touch her to elicit a ticklish reaction from her.

“Cut it out,” she said between her giggles as she tried to block his hands.

“Cut what out?” he asked. “I'm not even touching you.”

“You know what.”

She squeaked as he feigned moving to squeeze her hips, and she curled up even more in a failed attempt to shield herself.

Meanwhile, in the hallway, Eddie was trying to listen to what was happening in their room.

“Eddie, what are you doing?” Nancy asked when she exited her own room and saw him.

“C’mon. Aren't you curious about what they're doing in there? All I can hear is Chrissy laughing though, and we both know Steve isn't that funny.” he asked.

“Not enough to be pervy about it like you are right now. Get back in here and leave them alone.”

Back inside, Steve was about to tickle her for real when he heard voices outside their room that he was pretty sure were Eddie and Nancy. He paused his playful torture and signaled for Chrissy to be quiet with a finger pressed to his lips before getting out of the bed and creeping towards the door with her following close behind him. He waited a moment to make sure he could still hear them before banging on the door which earned him a very loud “fuck!” from whoever was on the other side.

“Good night, Eddie!” Chrissy called out.

They heard Nancy apologize on Eddie's behalf, and once he was certain they were gone, Steve turned his attention back towards Chrissy.

“Now, where were we?” he asked.

“Well, I think I was thinking of taking a late night stroll.” She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to shield all of her tickle spots from him.

“Really?” he asked. “Because I was thinking we were doing something else.”

He didn't give her a chance to run. He was quick, and he was able to pick her up and gently toss her back on the bed before she even knew what was happening. She didn't try to get away though. She just laid there giggling in anticipation as he climbed back onto the bed.

There was a moment as he climbed over her where he was struck with just how well they seemed to fit together. It would have been so easy for him to just lean down and kiss her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want the story of their first kiss to be that they were in bed and it just happened. Chrissy was special. She deserved better than that. And even if that wasn't the case, he didn't want her to think that he was trying to pressure her into doing something more. He could wait another day to kiss her. For now, he could be content with another tickle fight and hopefully another night of her snuggling up to him for comfort.

***

When Steve woke up the next morning, he was sad to find his bed empty. After Chrissy had surrendered in their tickle fight, neither of them had really been all that tired, so they'd put on a movie and ended up falling asleep cuddling again. But now, she wasn't in his bed, and he missed that warm and fuzzy feeling he'd had waking up next to her the day before. There was barely any light in the room, so he figured it had to be fairly early. Maybe she'd only gotten up to use the bathroom, and she was going to be coming back to snuggle up to him any minute now.

A quick glance around the room told him that wasn't the case. Chrissy was sitting on the window seat with her head tilted to rest against the glass. She looked deep in thought, and she was slightly illuminated by the beginnings of the sunrise. He didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful girl in his life. No one could ever hope to compare the way that Chrissy looked to him now.

He pushed himself out of bed to ask her to come back to get some more sleep with him, and moved to sit next to her on the window seat, but she spoke before he could make his request.

“I wish that we could stay in this moment forever.”

Her voice was barely even a whisper. So quiet that it made him question if he was actually supposed to hear her. He did though. He heard her, and he realized that he was wishing for the same thing, too.

So, instead of making his request, he opened his arms for her. She moved to sit on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her as she leaned back against his chest.

Sitting there with Steve, Chrissy felt the safest and the most content that she'd felt in a long time. And, as they sat there watching the sunrise together, she knew what she had to do. Today was going to be the day she told him how she felt. If it wasn't painfully obvious to him already, she had to let him know. Before the day was through, she was determined to open her heart to Steve Harrington.

[kordifm]

Dragons Rising S1 No Spoiler Review

Dragons Rising was truly amazing. For context, my brother and I stayed up until 2 am to binge-watch the season after I got home from classes for the day. We initially wanted to split the season in half for our watch through, but every episode, we found ourselves drawn in by the lore and the world building and all the silly little funny moments in between that could just exist because of the 20 20-minute episodes.

The opportunity to watch a season that isn’t capped at a short runtime due to corporate meddling is honestly a dream come true for Ninjago fans. The season felt so full and well-rounded, and I felt like the writers really were able to get everything they wanted in to the season. Obviously not every idea makes the final draft for any piece of creative work, but this one felt so much less bare bones than the previous seasons as far as time goes.

But my favorite part is the character development, hands down. I was so on the fence about Arin and Sora when the trailer first came out, not because I didn’t want to like them; but because I was afraid that they would seem too much like next-gen replacements in comparison to the OG ninja. Boy, was I wrong. They felt so real as characters and were absolutely written beyond my expectations.

Arin is such a pure cinnamon roll who looks up to the ninja and then gets to be one in his own right. He has this air of humility, always wanting to do what’s right as he learns what it takes to be a hero. And he just loves his new family all the while maintaining his hopes for seeing his parents again one day.

And Sora…well, I could write paragraphs about her character development. She honestly reminded me of myself in quite a few ways, so seeing her grow from being very non-involved and on the run from Imperium to conquering her initial doubts about the ninja and her own insecurities was such a treat to watch. She’s a character that is cynical about the world in many senses, but her heart is open to her new family and later in the season, herself and who she wants to be.

Needless to say, I loved them both, and I can’t wait to see where their stories go from here.

Alright, I have to talk about the OG ninja. Gone are the days when they are sidelined to be comic relief. Each episode had a very accurate picture of who they are as mentors and young adults (I will never get over Lloyd calling Arin and Sora “teens,” thereby distancing the OG ninja from that label). I love how Lloyd, Nya, and Kai get to be guides for Arin, Sora, and Wyldfire; albeit in their own ways. I could also spend an exorbitantly long amount of time on this topic, but the highlight for me is that they all had a different answer when their apprentice, if you will, asked them “Is that a Master Wu saying?”

I won’t write about the other three ninja at length here because I want to keep this non-spoilery, but I will say it’s great to see everyone once again, even for a little bit.

My brother likened the original Ninjago being a circle, and this season being the outer circle. We get to take a step back and see a bigger picture of the world and the characters, and we’re not even done yet. I want to make a list of all the open-ended questions that the season left us with because I am totally hyped up here. And of course, credits to everyone who worked on this project. I cannot wait to see what comes next.

[cherrypeaking]

babyyy 🥺🥺🩵🩵 i had so much fun on our call i can’t believe i was ever worried about us not getting to spend as much time together when our call ended up being just as long, if not longer, than most of our other calls 😭😭 (in case you were wondering its place on the leaderboard, it’s in second place under the call we had last week! ✨)

i just got done writing the recap and i was laughing to myself the whole time i had so much fun 🥺🥺🥺 i can’t stop laughing about no my queen it’s so funny djshhshs

my heart is so warm for you my love 🥺🥺 everything about our call was so perfect (except when my mom kept interrupting 😭 who goes to the movies that early in the morning anyway??) you’re so thoughtful, sweet, kind, welcoming, funny, and so so beautiful 🥺🥺 my pretty princess i wanna see you wear cute hair clips you would look so adorable 🥺🩵🩵

when we hung up i went to get food and i wished you were with me in the kitchen so badly i really turned around and expected to see you in my house like djshhshs 😭😭 i missed you so badly and i still do baby 🥺 i hope you slept well and i’m sorry you have to get up so early for work especially when you stayed up so late just to talk to me :(( even when you were dozing off i was so endeared by you.. you’re such a dream 🥺🩵 i was imagining that i was petting your hair while you were falling asleep in my arms ;; 🩵🩵🩵

moodboard but it’s just all soft fluffy taehyun since you remind me so much of him 🥺🥺🥺i’m trying to be less shy when it comes to telling you how i feel >< i’m not used to being so vocal about wanting someone so this is all new to me 🥺 you make me feel so wanted and seen and heard and i’m so thankful for you my sweet girl 🥺🥺🩵🩵 i love you so so much

looking forward to making more fun memories with you baby~

mommyyyy omg 🥺😭🩷🩷 this is definitely one of my favorite calls (they’re all my favorite except that train connection 10 min call 😭 so anxiety inducing to lose connection with my gf 😭) 🥺🥺🩷🩷 i didn’t expect us to get as much time together if not more and i really prefer it this way so we don’t have to force ourselves to stay up and we are both very awake and can talk lots 🥺🥺🩷 9hrs and 42 minutes right?? 😳

i love your recaps so much i’m still so amused by all the taehyun only liking to eat pussy hc like 😭😭😭 no my queen, don’t dirty your knees and moony really killed us with her addition it was such a highlight of the call 🥹🩷🫶 (your parents are so funny for this i’d never go to the movies this early 0_0)

everything about our call was really perfect it all felt like the right amounts of seriousness and the right amounts of crackheadedness and obviously we always go back to being all lovey dovey and those are my favorite parts because i have the best girlfriend ever 🥹🥹🩷🩷 if i start wearing hair clips i’m gonna send you pics of them hehe~ i wanna go to that shop i went to again just to document on what i found to you >\\< 🩷🩷

i wish i didn’t have to go to sleep so that we could keep going and i’d be there for your day as well and get to see what you’d make yourself for food 🥺🥺🩷 i’m happy you liked my salad and that you said i was wifey material hehe 👉👈🩷 you’re my wifey my precious wifey >\\\< 🩷🩷 i was so endeared by you too when you were dozing off so it feels good to know you felt the same mommy ;///; i stayed up because i wanted to 🥺 i’m a little sleepy but i know i’ll catch up on that tonight~ i needed to have you on call for as long as i could 🥺🥺🩷

the moodboard is so cute and so my favorite tyun like it’s really him he’s so gf and floofy 🥺🥺 hehehe mommy is getting better and better at it!! i feel so seen and wanted and heard with you my love 🥹🥹🩷 you’re the one for me i’m so so thankful our paths decided to meet we really met at both of our needed times 🥺🥺 i love you so much and i’m so looking forward to making more memories with you too my love 🥹🥹🩷🩷

[loveyourlovelysoul]

You don’t have to answer this but how long have you been trying to heal yourself maybe it’ll help me not feel so alone in my journey

Hey! I will answer you ofc, I don't have anything to hide. But... (I may be using "you" as a general you/y'all next)

First of all, I want you to keep in mind that there's not a fixed time-frame when it comes to healing, nor there's an age in which we do that. It's not like school and you need to start and end it in a certain amount of years/at a certain age to be considered "right" and "on time". There's not such a thing here. It takes the time you need as your own person: it depends on each one of us and our stories and how we deal with our feelings about our past in our present. And how it all reflects on our future (and anxieties about it). Honestly, it reasonably can take A LOT to reach a kinda mentally stable point, if you take a look at all this. I mean, it's BIG. You don't have to feel less or guilty if according to you it's taking you more than you thought or that you're supposed to. It's okay: also because the more you feel like you're needing to rush things or get to an end (I know it's painful but please hang in there and keep being patient cause it's gonna end, I promise you), or you feel inferior to others as they seem in a better position than you (you don't know their story nor when they started/how anyway, so please do not compare: surely there's someone who is feeling the same as you or about you even), the more stressed you'll be and the longer the process will take. The more we try to close chapters fastly with our past, to say "Okay I'm done here, next one", the more we'll find new triggers about the "same old thing"TM. And it's okay: to really understand, accept and realize what we went through, takes a lot of time and patience. It's not something we can learn and close over night. When it comes to our feelings it's never so. We may be spending, for example, months over a friend that moved on and suddenly disappeared from our life, pretending we didn't care (but the more we pretend and tell ourselves we don't care, the more it stays in our mind and heart), and that's okay: it means we need to realize something about that connection that we cannot accept and probably it's not just how it ended, but also something related to how it was, how we felt both on good days and bad days while we were in that friendship... and maybe move on to other relationships in our life, starting from the one with our parents and our classmates, other friends, colleagues, crushes, partners... What's the main issue there and how it moves inside of us? Feelings are complex, they also rot inside of us for years and years and grow with us, get mixed up with new ones, similar ones, different ones... it's crazy. But it's how it is. We cannot stop growing or making experiences before healing. We keep living also while healing (we have to). And we cannot start healing if we don't feel the need to.

And it's not an easy job to heal and also healing doesn't mean not being triggered anymore and being all good and great all the time: it means you start learning how to recognize your triggers and let them control you everyday a little less. Even on those days in which those stressing emotions will still get to you, you won't try to fight them but accept that those are just days as others, and they will pass too. You simply accept that you're tired/overwhelmed for any reason and that you can control your mind and decide what's best for you, so you take care of you, and try to be more compassionate and patient, and maybe take a break without feeling guilty. You're more open about your needs and find ways to meet them. And you know you can afford your trigger another time, you can talk with your mind, you feel more and more balanced. Life will always be made of positive and negative. It's how it is. And taking time to accept both of its sides and don't let the negative take over us and make us fall, is the thing we need to keep doing first and foremost. Also inside of us: we too are made both of bright and dark parts, and the dark parts need as much love too as they'r egenerally the hurt and scared parts of us. And taking them out of the dark is not easy, it takes time and gentleness, as with a scared child. It also takes the right moment for both.

Now, I've wrote a lot already so let me answer you :) I've always been someone who tries to understand more of herself and people and life in general, but if I have to say a time in which I told myself "Okay something is pretty wrong here, I do not deserve that and I definitely need to know more of what's behind all of it" I think it's around 2.5-3 years ago. Especially around 2 years ago after a bunch of big tough events in my life. The heavy healing part started there I think.

Anyway pelase do not feel alone. Here it's plenty of people healing, many have been through that for long, even longer than me probably. And even if it feels scary and this idea may make you want to give up, please don't. Keep doing it with patience, balancing healing with your life the best you can (you need time outs from it and talking with people, enjoying too), and I promise it will get faster and even occasionally easier. And it will get slowly better for sure. You'll notice it once you'll start reaching a more balanced emotional situation, but for now, endure through the storm as it will end. I'm here if you need support!

Take care<3

[andypantsx3]

Tw: Misogyny and discourse (pls don't feel obligated to answer this)

Ok soo Andie I feel like you are so good at giving advice and you are just such an amazingly sweet and kind person and I aspire to be like you. That being said I am just stuck in a very uncomfortable situation and I sadly can't talk about this to other ppl close to me (you'll see why).

I have a cousin brother who is staying in the same city as me, because of his Uni he sometimes comes over when he has holidays or on the weekends. There is ofc nothing wrong with that, I like that he can relax here a bit and I get to spend time with him (it's my parents house btw). Everything was fine and well but then sometimes out of nowhere he'll start acting weird (also he's a devoted andrew tate fan so....). He'll just come and say horrible things to me like how I should take care of the house (he says its a girls job to do all the work whereas men should be allowed to laze around) , force me to do his uni work and projects and belittle and humiliate me when I refuse, he lectures me about my weight and calls me a cow, he takes my things without asking and goes through my stuff and messes up my room when I go for my lectures. He's just really nasty to me in general.

My mom doesn't say anything to him and she instead scolds me. She says that he is our guest and I am overreacting. She says he has done nothing to warrant my dislike for him and that I am being very petty and unreasonable even though SHE SEES THINGS HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HER EYES?! We also have this very toxic culture in my family where women are expected to give everything up for men's comfort without complaining and it is our job to bend ourselves backwards to keep the peace in the household by not fighting. She says these are just normal sibling things and brothers are allowed to do all this and I am just being oversensitive.

I really don't know what to do Andie. I definitely don't hate him because he's my brother but I don't know how to handle him or my family without getting distant or fighting with them :(

Hello my love!! This is such a tough situation and I am so sorry you've been put in this spot!! I am sending you all my love and support and hoping your family cleans up its act soon, but it sounds like instead you might be waiting a while!!

I am a very direct problem approacher by nature, so I'm not sure that what I would do would work in this situation!! My first thought is that it's your house, and you can welcome him into it while still establishing boundaries. If I was in this situation, I would probably end up telling my brother once he starts in on one of those behaviors again that he can stop right now and still be welcomed in your house, or he can insist on his course of action and will have to find somewhere else to stay. It's his choice.

In his own house he can have his own rules, but in yours, your feelings and your time and your boundaries are to be respected. I would hope framing it like that gives him the idea that he's welcome in general but with options and consequences to consider, instead of him just feeling like he's allowed to be there and do what he wants. But unfortunately it does sound like this approach would still make waves in your family if he chooses wrongly, so you would have to be prepared for that.

I'm not sure if it's best to take a less direct approach (be aware this is not a strength of mine) by doing his projects so badly he does poorly in school and then feels the need to do them himself, by buying a lock and key for your room so he can't go in it when you're not there, or by keeping your house even dirtier or something so that he doesn't like being there. But again this is like, not my strength so idk how good this recommendation is.

Idk!! This feels like such a bad situation to be in and you might just have to weigh which outcome is the most bearable to you; fighting with your family for some amount of time, or feeling shitty for the amount of time you have to see your brother while he's in university.

(Also if anyone else reading this has been in this situation before or has recommendations, please give them in the replies!! I feel like I'm such a bad problem solver because I only know how to bulldoze!!)

Anyway I just want to reiterate that I feel for you and I hope you are keeping your head up! While not exactly the same as your situation, I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household with a very misogynistic father and so I know all too well the kind of toll gendered standards (and blindness to/deference to male figures) can take on you. I have been told I was basically born with a stick in hand and all I knew how to do was poke the bear, so that's all I can think to do now lol. But regardless of how good or bad my advice is, I am 100% there with you and supporting you with my whole heart!!

I hope you find your way out of this, and I'm happy to chat/let you vent to me if you ever need it!!!!

[frankwestpfahl]

As we pull back the curtains from our slumber we are greeted with spectacular views of the monastery and fortress on the hill in Würzburg. The sun is shining and although it is an early morning it's going to be an incredible day. We head down to breakfast, a little earlier than normal, as there is a lot to see and do today, and today is the day I've been most looking forward to on this voyage.

After breakfast we meet our guide and head up to the spectacular Residenz in Würzburg. This massive palace was built for the Prince Bishop and has treasures to marvel like Versaille. It seems like everyone with any amount of power wanted to copy Versaille.

Würzburg was almost completely destroyed during the war and this includes this magnificent palace, however, miraculously there were three unbelievable rooms that survived and the art is amazing. We cover the incredible frescos and symbolism. Even the crystal chandeliers made in Vienna are stunning and only cost about $1M per chandelier today...

War is such an ugly thing and the atrocities of the second world war can never be underestimated, but to see the actual destruction and to learn the stories, I hope it is something we can stop around the world.

We then head out into the cold to explore this beautifully rebuilt city along the river Main. The shops, the markets, are all fantastic. We even find an incredible men's department store and almost do some damage, but good news, most items are designed for younger men with much smaller waists. Crisis averted, I avoided a spending spree.

We stop for a quick lunch aboard the beautiful Avalon Visionary and have lunch with some additional new friends from Canada. What a treat. We have such a fun discussion about the world, that we almost lose track of time. We bolt off to change quickly and board our coach.

Next stop, the city I really wanted to see at Christmas time. Rothenburg ob der Tauber is an amazing medieval village and I had the privilege of visiting with friends in 2006 during the summer. Now to see it with all the beautiful Christmas decorations, the Christmas market, the amazing Christmas store and museum and just for us an incredible blanket of snow of the entire city and valley.

Not only were the tourists like us capturing pictures, but the locals including our guide, as it is not common here to have a white Christmas. Marty and I just stroll the streets and take in the atmosphere, architecture, and overall Christmas cheer. We stay long enough for the city to light up with the warm glow of holiday lights along the streets and windows. This really was an amazing highlight of the trip. I wanted to bring back a million new ornaments from the Christmas Store Käthe Wohlfahrt. Käthe owns this town, with the main massive store, but also several others. You can't help but be drawn in like a small kid to the music, the glittering ornaments, the moving items and the giant nutcrackers.

After a short nap on the coach back to the ship. We have time to change quickly and head to our talk about the next day and of course the morning of disembarkation. Tomorrow is going to be a fantastic day to relax, we will be sailing in the morning and learning how to bake cookies, we then visit a very small village and sail again throughout the evening to our final stop of Frankfurt am Main. I'm looking forward to that.

Our group has now grown to a party of 12 so we head to the restaurant to try to get tables all together and after some rearranging we are all set. We still need to include two more, hopefully tomorrow night. After hysterical conversation and laughter and a very leisurely dinner we head up to the lounge for some entertainment. Tonight we have a violinist that will be playing show tunes and other incredible genres. He is fantastic and we just relax and enjoy ourselves.

Look at that, it is already way past my bedtime. Time to head to dream land and replay all the amazing blessings of the day. I hope you are having an amazing holiday season and slowing down to enjoy all the spectacular magic and wonder this time of the year brings. Wishing you a very good night from the river Main in Germany. Guten Nacht, schlaf gut.

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#ttvvf&m #selfie #justfrank #tweedles'travels #vacation #vacation2022 #urlaub #urlaub2022 #reise #spaß #friendship #adventure #2022 #fernweh #video @marty.reynoldsohana #fall #december #germany #deutschland #Würzburg #RothenburgobderTauber #flusskreuzfahrt #AvalonWaterways #avalonvisionary