#for reference this takes place after the story ends and danny/eli get back together

[bug-ocs]

i’d found a relationships ask meme a loooong time ago and i kinda reworked it to be more like an interview-style between danny and eli...so...here’s some really cheesy shit below the cut (AND SORRY IT’S SO DAMN LONG, RIP MOBILE)

Who made the first move and how?

Danny: He slipped me his business card while I was at work. I-it doesn’t sound all that great, but it was really smooth how he handled it, ya know?

Eli: Ah, Dansha. You flatter me. I was so nervous, I was sure you’d notice.

Danny: *laughs* See, that’s why you impress me! I didn’t notice at all! Smooth as always. And after giving me nothing but compliments the whole time? How could I say no…

Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Eli: *turns to Danny with a gentle smile*

Danny: *sighs and slowly raises his hand* Eli’s really good about getting me out of my funks, though. He always knows how to say just the right thing.

Who is the most romantic?

Danny: *immediately turns to Eli*

Eli: *laughs* Oh, come on, Dansha, give yourself a little more credit! You’ve hand-made pasta for a lavish Italian dinner! You’re romantic in your own way, lapochka.

Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Danny: *blushes* I-I dunno why. I’ve always been like that…

Eli: So handsy…It’s very endearing. You wouldn’t expect it from him, but he always has his hands on me!

Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Eli: Ah, that was fun, wasn’t it? I don’t have trouble saying it at all, but Dansha is a little more…reserved, so naturally I said it first.

Danny: *slaps forehead* I can’t believe I didn’t say it back at first…I knew I did, but…

Eli: *pats his shoulder* Ah, it made it all the more special when you finally did, and I knew you meant it with all your heart.

Who would you ask if y’all ever had a threesome?

Danny: *groans*

Eli: *laughs* Well, we—

Danny: We’re not talking about this. Next question.

What do y’all get up to on a night out?

Eli: Ah, we’re both such homebodies…

Danny: Yeah, a “night out” for us is like…getting dinner and then chilling at the bar for a while. Might do some shopping if it’s early in the evening.

Eli: I do enjoy watching you peruse the cooking aisle at Bed Bath and Beyond.

What do y’all like in bed?

Danny: *blushes and stammers* Wh-wh—I-I didn’t know I’d be asked these kinds of questions! I-Isn’t that a bit personal?

Eli: *sighs* I’m pretty vanilla as far as most things go, but Dansha—

Danny: Shut up!

What is the most embarrassing thing y’all have done in front of each other?

*They both groan*

Eli: Well…thankfully I got it out of the way pretty early…I was having a very intense conversation with Danica about my…um…you know, I was sorting through my feelings when we first starting dating and Dansha…he showed up about halfway through and heard a bunch of it…You’re so good at pretending you didn’t hear anything.

Danny: *clears throat* Hear what?

Eli: *smiles gently* Well, Dansha, what about you?

Danny: There’s quite a few that come to mind, but I’m still not over the ramen incident…

What do y’all hide from one another?

Danny: *scowls at Eli*

Eli: *chuckles* Yes, sometimes I hide my favorite snacks in the night stand, but I’m just doing what needs to be done! I can’t have him taking my snacks all the time! He loves his hot chips.

Danny: Then just buy two bags!

Eli: I do and you just eat both of them!

When did y’all realize y’all should get together?

Eli: Immediately. I saw him walk up to my table and I knew he was the one.

Danny: Eli…come on…

Eli: I’m serious! There was an angelic glow around you from the ceiling lights and everything. I don’t think I’d ever fallen that hard before.

Danny: *hiding his flushed face in his hands*

Well, Danny? What about you?

Danny: I, uh—y-y’know, I’m kinda…it takes a little longer for things like that with me a-and while we were definitely dating, I had this awful thought in the back of my head that he was just kidding, a-and I knew! I knew he liked me because he said it and did things that made me believe it! But the first time I really believed it was when I cooked a meal for him. *He blushes and hides his face behind his shoulder* No one had ever been that enthusiastic about my cooking before, and…I dunno, it sounds cheesy but it just felt like a little sign, you know? A little reassurance that we were a good match, I guess.

When one of y’all has a cold, what does the other do?

Eli: It’s pretty obvious, no? Dansha pampers me with all my favorite foods. Hand-cooked by the pro chef himself!

Danny: Ah, Eli knows better than to try to hand-make ramen—which, of course, is the only logical thing to get me when I’m sick—so he always goes out of his way to stop by Aitsumoto, no matter how long the line is… It’s quite sweet…

When y’all watch a film what do you choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

Danny: If it were up to me, we’d be watching cooking shows on YouTube, but we watch those every night anyway… I’m not a big movie buff, so I usually let Eli decide, and we always somehow end up watching cheesy romcoms from the late 2000s.

Eli: It’s when they peaked! You can’t get better than The Proposal!

When y’all fight, how do you make up?

Eli: *waves his hand dismissively* Oh, easily. I just have to bring him ramen.

Danny: He's not wrong…but likewise, I just bake him croissants. They have a tendency to be my pastry of choice for metaphorical olive branches, and he knows how much work goes into them.

Where do y’all go on your first date?

Danny: Ah, we went to Aitsumoto…I’d been hanging out at the bar for a few weeks and finally worked up the nerve to actually ask him to hang out when neither of us were on the clock.

Eli: I thought it was very sweet of him to take me to his favorite restaurant. Food means a lot to him, and I felt like I got to witness something intimate, watching him eat the famed ramen he always talked about.

Danny: *hides his face and groans* God, I’m so used to going by myself. I can’t believe I ate like that in front of you. Especially when we’d just started dating!

Eli: *laughs* I felt like I was intruding!

Danny: It’s a wonder you still wanted to go anywhere in public with me after that.

Eli: *whispers behind his hand* It was actually very cute.

Where does your first kiss happen?

Eli: *dreamily* His apartment…he made such a fantastically romantic meal, all from scratch!

So, you kissed him first, Eli?

Danny: *clears throat* Ah, n-no…that was, uh…that was me…

Eli: *chuckles* Give him a heartfelt compliment, and he’ll do any—

Danny: O-okay, next?

Where do y’all first have sex?

Danny: *groans, head in hands* Please, I didn’t know we’d be talking about—

Eli: My apartment, this time. A little bit more privacy, you know—?

Danny: No more! I’m not talking about this anymore!

Why do y’all fight?

Eli: Usually over stupid miscommunications. I have a tendency to shut down when I’m upset, and Dansha isn’t great at using his words sometimes.

Danny: Yeah…guilty as charged. Usually once the emotion dies down, one of us tries to come at it from a different angle and we both realize we’re being stupid.

Why do y’all need to have a serious chat?

Eli: It’s…usually about Vice stuff. I’ll notice Dansha isn’t acting himself, or I’ll say something that is unintentionally antagonizing.

Danny: We’ve got it down to a science at this point. Gen’s helped us a ton, too. And Eli knows I’m not great at…talking about stuff, so I’m really thankful for his patience.

Eli: *kisses the back of his hand* You’re worth every second, lapochka.

Why do your friends get annoyed with y’all?

Danny: That! What he just did! His cheesy little—augh, God! *groans into his hands*

Eli: *shrugs his shoulders with a smile* I mean every word, but it’s still quite fun to dote on him in front of his friends. They say they can’t stand it, but I know they think it’s cute, too

Why do y’all get jealous?

Eli: Well, I don’t get jealous…*turns to Danny*

Danny: *throws his hands up* He’s a hot bartender! How can I not be jealous when every goddamn customer flirts with him?! God, sometimes I swear he milks it just to see me get riled up!

Eli: *mouths* I do.

Why do y’all fall a little bit more in love?

Eli: It might seem like a cop-out answer at this point, but watching him cook. All the cute little facial expressions he makes to himself when he’s thinking or concentrating. It’s all very endearing. I can taste the love he puts into his dishes, especially when he cooks just for me. I feel like I see a very real part of him not many people get the chance to, and every time I see it, I fall a bit more in love.

Danny: That, what he’s doing now. He’s so open and honest and affectionate, and I’m not used to that. He’s so selfless and has such a giving heart, and…I just feel so lucky I get to be with him. He…makes me want to love myself. He makes me want to be a better person!

Why does it work between y’all?

Danny: He’s willing to put the work in with me. Loving him is easy, but I know I can be—

Eli: I’ve told you a million times, Dansha. Loving you comes naturally to me, and if there’s any effort involved, you’re worth every bit of it.