#for the record im working on another au and i dont know how attics work

[never-quite-logistical]

Letters

word count: 1,073 words

pairings: logicality

content warnings: mentions of alcohol, i think that's it?

a/n: this is my first fic I'm posting, the prompt was from @does-this-look-logicality-to-you's Ollie anon :)

There it was. Looming, sitting there. A small, white gift box, with navy blue accents on it. It’d been four days since Logan had unpacked—he had a small apartment before, on top of being a minimalist, it hadn’t been much to pack or unpack—but that stupid box had sat in the corner of his bedroom the whole damn time. Beckoning him to open it.

And he did. It took another three days, but he did. It was letter after letter of his saved apologies. Apologies to Patton for the nights before. Promises that they wouldn’t do it again. But the letters kept going; it was a piecrust promise. One of them would get drunk, or sad, or lonely, or just wanted to be near the other. Though that was never voiced by either of them. And so he kept flipping through the letters. At the bottom were the first ones. The farther to the top, the closer to their last night together.

He sighed and set the box on his bed and grabbed his phone. He wanted to call Patton. But who was to say he hadn’t already gotten someone else? He and Roman were always friendly on game nights. Or maybe Janus. He was always flirting with Patton. And why should he have cared? They were only friends. Friends with benefits, sure, but that was all.

Logan had been stupid for wanting more than that.

He hadn’t been worth Patton’s time, romantically at least. He wasn’t good in relationships, or with feelings, no matter how sure he was that he liked Patton. Bubbly, sunshiny Patton would never have been actually compatible with cold, stoic Logan. Maybe he was better off with Roman or Janus. Logan only wanted him to be happy, even if the thought made his chest ache.

And so that night, though he didn’t want to, he looked through the letters again. He leafed through them, just glancing at the pen ink was all he could manage before the guilt set in. He had always promised Patton it wouldn’t happen again.

Then, his eyes flicked to something a little off. On the top left corner of the letter he was looking at, there was a bobby pin. Not something unusual for Patton to have, he used them to keep his wavy hair out of his eyes when he insisted Logan shouldn’t pay for a haircut. But the bobby pin attached another paper to the letter. And the letter behind had one, too. And the one after, and the one after. They were a pale color, almost matching the paper. Easy to miss, evidently. They attached second letters. Instead of Logan’s hydrangea-decorated borders, they had little stars on the edge of each paper. They were hand-drawn, too, unlike on Logan’s paper. Each one seemed to be kinder than the last; truly written by Patton. Logan was in tears by the last one, the letter he had left Patton on their last night together. He never did stay. Just left before Patton got up. But he read his letter, though he knew what he wrote.

“Patton—

I’m sorry I’ve let things go on this far. You do deserve better. But I’m afraid this truly will not be happening again. You see, I’m going to be moving for my schooling. I didn’t want to tell any of you because I did not wish to upset you. But I’ll be leaving on the fourteenth and I’m afraid I will not be able to meet up with you again before then, considering I need to study and pack. I’ll still be in contact and I do hope you’ll all visit.

Sincerely, Logan.”

And Logan hated looking at it. He hated to think about what he had done with Patton, he hated to think he left him, but most of all, he hated that he had developed feelings when they were just friends.

But Patton’s response was just as sweet as all the other letters, especially considering the circumstances presented, though he had apparently decided against some words.

“My dearest Logan,

I’m so excited for you! I’ll We’ll all miss you. Hopefully you’ll even get to be an astronimer astronomer! How cool would that be? We’ll all come visit you. And you can come visit us, too, that would be so amazing! I’m gonna have a bakery, maybe I can could make you a cake some time. I hope I’ll give these to you before you go. I probably won’t if you’re all busy and everything. I’ll mail it to you if I have to. I hope you don’t forget me.

Love, Patton”

And if he wasn’t crying before, he surely was now. Patton had felt the same. Patton had felt the same, and Logan was supposed to have known since he moved. And he didn’t even call Patton. He must hate him now. Still, he could try, couldn’t he? It was worth a shot…

He cleared his throat and pulled his phone out, quickly going to Patton’s contact and hitting the call button. What he heard on the other line had him going from butterflies to an ache in his chest; it was Patton’s laughter. “Heya, Logan, d’ya need somethin’?” he asked after his giggling stopped, but two other voices could be heard in the background. They sounded like Virgil and Roman.

Oh, dear… what was he even supposed to say? Well, he had never been one to beat around the bush, had he? With the exception of emotions. Oh, well, he had to try, didn’t he?

“Patton, I’m sorry about not calling you sooner,” he started hesitantly. “I didn’t… I hadn’t read the notes yet. I didn’t see them. I’m sorry. I would have called you sooner. A lot sooner, actually,” he explained, more just rambling than actually explaining.

Patton giggled softly at Logan’s ramblings. He always did find it adorable. “No, no, it’s fine, Lo. I’m glad you called. But I haveta go, Roman and Virgil are over for a game night. I’ll call you later, ‘kay?” Patton’s smile could be heard, even over the phone.

“Yes, I’ll talk to you later,” Logan agreed. “I love you,” he added hesitantly, hanging up as soon as he said it.

Patton had a stupid grin across his face as he set his phone away, quietly whispering “Love you, too,” to himself, unable to keep his euphoric laughter to himself. Of course he had to explain to Roman and Virgil.