#found it odd he never said anything about a bday party but maybe he wasnt up
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idk what it says about me when my first response to someone hurting me is immediate apathy but. it is what it is
#i have been nagging my friends both irl and in our gc#to let me know if theyre coming to the tattoo convention tomorrow#they ALL know how badly i wanted to go since this is the first year ill be able to#and only two people replied yes or no in our gc#the rest didnt even bother and i brought it up so manh fucking times#then yesterday was the bday of one of those friends#found it odd he never said anything about a bday party but maybe he wasnt up#for it so nbd!#my other friend texts me just now#to INVITE me to his party thats in a few hours bc! he forgot to invite me!#he remembered to invite EVERYONE else in our gc including random other people#but forgot me :) who he says is 'a good friend' and keeps asking me for medical advice and favors#i told my friend i cant make it and she said 'hes sad about that'#i replied i dont care lol#but not in a 'im mad but petty' kinda way i just. really dont care rn#i do a little since im posting this obviouslg#but also this just made me. lose any care i had for this person?#i know i can become very cold and mean if im hurt#and right now i feel. nothing towards this guy whose supposed to be my friend#this became my defense mechanism the past year when im hurt#i just stop caring and idk if its the medical field#that changed me into this but. idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#delete later#just had to vent for a sec bc i dont wanna tell my friend all of this#the last thing i wanna do is put a common friend in the middle of all of this#ah well
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