#fuck mobile ads I just wanna watch YouTube in peace again please

[onestrangechild]

There’s something that ANGERS me about mobile game ads on such a primal level. Every game now a days that gets pushed by ads can be made by different studios but uses the same Play-doh esc sprites that use really shitty animations that probably were Mo-Capped (If at all) by some dude off the side of the street that these devs walked up to and said “Ey, bro, wanna make an easy $50?”. Like I get wanting to keep shit easy when you’re first stepping into the game, but I stg I’ve seen the same add for the same game about gathering a crowd and upgrading them by making them run through the proper gates or whatever more times than I’ve seen my own mother in the exact same day!

Or how about those Fukkin… tile mover games? The slot games that swear you get rich in just 10 plays and you “Never have to top off” whatever the hell that means? The Idle RPG games that get boring af because you have to basically not play the game to get anywhere?

But here’s what really kicks me in the dick, yeah? It’s the ads themselves! We all know about that fucking abomination of “Evony: The Kings Return”, that fuckin dumbass puzzle game where they show off someone failing a really easy puzzle which makes you frustrated just watching so you download it to prove to no one that these puzzle games aren’t that hard. Same with those crowd evolution games, like it’s so frustrating watching this dude walk to the very obviously better gate but then switch the absolute LAST second and they fucking know that! They trick you into downloading their bullshit game just to see if it’s really that hard, and usually no, it isn’t, but you downloaded it anyways so what do they care? :D

But I think… what truly takes the cake. What puts me in a Primal rage, so fucking Potent I could hang these lazy bastards by their own spinal cords from their office ceilings… is that now their ads force my phone screen into VERTICAL MODE, while I had it in HORIZONTAL MODE binging YouTube videos! And when I hit the full screen button to move it back, it freaks out and gets out of full screen mode, forcing me to rotate my phone vertically to get it centered, skip the ad, and then rotate it horizontally to put it back into full screen. That be like if I broke into one of y’all’s homes and told you to drink bleach when you told me to go away, and then I started moving furniture around. Like… the FUCK??

If you’re a mobile game publisher, and you actually think what I just ranted about is good business choices, please jump off the tallest building within walking distance of you. I will literally never play your game.