#fuck you bitch i walked 4 minutes in normal pace on normal road and my legs are heavy and i can't fucking lift them up and they are in pain

[cutie1365]

Winchester Part 1/4

Pairing: Sherlock x Winchester!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Violence, language, blood

Request from imboredsueme, and I think their account is deactivated now :( I swear this request is from like over 3 years ago and I’m just the worst. I finally got some good inspiration for this story and I really like it so far. Not sure how many more parts there will be of this, it’s gonna be a mini series so we’ll see as I write the next few parts.

Any and all feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated :)

Masterlist in bio. Link to join taglist is at the bottom of my masterlist.

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Sherlock liked you from the moment he met you, and that didn’t happen often... maybe ever.

“Any witnesses?” Sherlock turned to Lestrade and asked as they approached the crime scene.

“Yeah one, one of my guys is talking to her now.” He lifted his finger in the direction of the woman down the road with her hands in her coat pockets. She almost looked... bored? She had just witnessed a murder, shouldn’t she look more... distraught? Emotional? He clearly didn’t know who he was dealing with.

Sherlock was accustomed to useless witnesses, none of them really noticed what’s important.

American. He noted her accent as they got closer, the officer talking to her nodded and left, flipping his notebook shut.

“We’ve just got a few more questions for you Ms. Winchester.” The Detective Inspector said, but Sherlock was too focused on her. No signs of shock, no crying, no emotions, much unlike any other female witnesses to gruesome murders he’d seen. Interesting.

“What did you see?” Sherlock asked, squinting his eyes to examine her.

“This guy,” you pointed to one of the white cloth covered bodies as you spoke, “shot this guy in the face, then blew his brains out. Seems pretty open and shut to me.” You shrugged.

“So it would seem...” Sherlock turned to Lestrade with an annoyed look as if to say why the hell was I brought in then?

“That is, unless you take into account the sniper from two buildings over.” You pointed over your shoulder.

“What?” Both Sherlock and Lestrade turned back to you, surprise evident in their voice.

“Sure, this guy was pointing a gun at him, but it was as if the shot came from behind him, it scared him. When the other guy dropped, he panicked and stuck the gun in his mouth... seems odd.” You spoke calmly.

“Why do you believe it’s a sniper?” Sherlock asked suspiciously.

“I’ll let you analyze the entrance wound and ballistics report, but I guarantee that that bullet didn’t come from this man’s gun.” You said, confidently.

Sherlock strutted over to the body, not wanting to believe you on your word alone. He pulled the sheet back and sure enough the entrance wound was higher on the forehead near the hairline, with the exit wound down near the base of his head where it meets his neck. A man standing a few feet in front of him wouldn’t be able to get that kind of angle. He silently moved towards the other body, and slipping a glove on his hand, picked up the gun lying on the ground. He opened the revolver, and to his surprise, only one bullet was missing. It would have taken two, one to shoot the man and one for himself. Lestrade watched him intently, waiting for him to speak. He looked up at you, he couldn’t read you... you were different, useful.

“She’s right.” Sherlock muttered, and Lestrade’s eyes went wide.

He moved to stand in front of you, he looked taller than on TV where you’d seen him in the news.

“Winchester, was it?” He asked.

“Y/N.” You smirked, placing your hand in front of you for him to shake, which he did.

“Come with me.” He said, beginning to walk down the street, and you followed him.

You followed him that day, and you’d do it again, everyday. You’d follow him into hell itself and do it with a smile.

He took you along on one case, and that was all it took. He liked having you around, you were insightful and helpful, not to mention unphased in the face of death. One case enough for him to realize you were going to be trouble. Good trouble or bad trouble, of that he wasn’t sure yet, but the thought of you always brought a smirk to his lips.

The more time Sherlock spent around you, the more it became clear: you had secrets. He liked that, he couldn’t read everything about you. He was quite sure he’d never met a woman like you before, and likely never would again. Someone who challenged him intellectually, made him laugh (a rare sight, admittedly), and made him feel alive.

They say your past has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass... and your past had fangs. Literally.

Sometimes all it takes is one second, one tiny moment to bring you back to where you were, to what you’d thought you left behind. You can’t go home, but maybe home can come to you.

You didn’t realize it until it was too late... but everything you’d come to hold dear was going to be tested and threatened like never before.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It seemed like a simple case, a simple stabbing, it should have been cut and dry but something was bugging both of you about it. Something was off.

The murder weapon wasn’t recovered, and it wasn’t just a simple knife. Truthfully neither of you knew what the man was stabbed with, and it was going to drive you crazy.

You and Sherlock sat in his bedroom, well... based on the amount of time you spent in it, you could almost call it ‘your’ bedroom. Sherlock paced in front of you as you sat with your back against the headboard, the pictures of the crime scene spread on the bed before you.

“Arrow?” Sherlock suggested.

“Mm, too thin.” You glanced at the picture, shaking your head.

“Harpoon?” You tilted your head, eyes dancing across the pictures.

“Cut’s too clean for that.” He shook his head.

You’d been at this for hours now, naming every pointy, knife-like object you could think of to find the murder weapon. The wound was so odd. It was almost squared on the front entrance wound, but thin and a quarter of the diameter on the back where it had run him through.

“We need a fresh perspective on this.” You said, running your fingers through your hair, quickly pulling it up into a messy bun as you moved to get off the bed, “You go check out his girlfriend’s place again, and I’ll go check the bookshop he worked at, there’s gotta be something we’re missing.”

Sherlock tossed you your coat as he slipped his own on and you both made your way out of the flat, going in opposite directions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The bookstore was only a couple blocks away from Baker Street, so you were there in no time. You decided to look around the shop for a few minutes before approaching the manager. You flitted through the different sections of the store, the same shelves the recently departed victim would pass each day.

You stopped as your eyes caught something in the Science Fiction section - Supernatural by Carver Edlund. You picked it up with a smirk, of course they’d made it international, you shook your head.

“Can I help you find something?” The manager comes around the corner and asks you with a smile.

“Oh, no,” You smiled, placing the book back on the shelf, “I’m actually here to ask you a few questions about Ben Whitman.”

Her face turned into a sort of sad smile.

“Of course, how can I help?” She said somberly.

As you interviewed the manager your eye caught something outside the window. Her back is to the front door, as the manager goes on about Ben’s punctuality you see two large men move like they were going to come into the store. They caught you talking to the manager and suddenly diverted course around the side of the building.

“Has anyone ever come in looking for Ben, or asked about him?” You pulled your attention back to the manager.

“Not before you lot.” She smiled.

You thanked the manager for her time and helpful information, although she didn’t give you anything you didn’t already know. As you left the store, you turned down the same side alley you’d seen the men disappear in. You heard voices coming from all the way back behind the bookshop.

You peaked your head around the corner, seeing the two men standing, talking to each other. You knew something felt wrong about them, but weren’t sure what it was until you saw their eyes turn black.

Your breath caught in your throat, that was the last thing you expected to see today. You thought you had successfully stayed out of sight until your foot shifted on the gravel as you tried to take a step back.

Immediately, their eyes went back to normal as they whipped their heads in your direction.

“What are you looking at?” The shorter one asked aggressively, they both stepped toward you. You stepped away from the wall, there was no point hiding now, they knew you were there.

Suddenly, everything clicked, and you were overcome with a wave of confidence.

“I don’t think Crowley would be pleased to hear about a couple of demons going rogue. You killed the bookstore clerk with a stolen angel blade didn’t you.” You spoke bravely, although in hindsight, it might have been stupidity and not bravery that guided your actions.

“Who the hell are you?” The taller one asked, with venom in his voice.

“Oh Lucifer, you’re that little Winchester bitch aren’t you,” His mouth morphed into a sadistic smile as they realized, “You’re far from home.”

“No big brothers here to fight your battles.” The other pulled out an angel blade as they began to stalk towards you.

“Fuck.” You muttered, putting your fists up as they attacked you.

You fought back, but took a few hits. You were able to disarm the one with the blade. You were pretty sure you broke his arm when he came towards you. Unfortunately you hadn’t realized the blade had sliced your side as you took a hit to the face from the other demon. Running on pure adrenaline, your fist rammed into his face, blood coming from his nose. The demon with the broken arm muttered something you couldn’t hear to his partner, before they both left their vessels. Your ears were still ringing as you felt the blood begin to drip from your brow bone.

You knew you couldn’t make it all the way back to your flat like this to get cleaned up. You held your side to slow the bleeding. Baker Street was just around the corner. You could use the back streets to get to Sherlock’s flat and not scare too many bystanders on the street.

You knew Sherlock wouldn’t be in, he’d gone to investigate the girlfriends house with John and that was on the other side of London.

The adrenaline began to wear off as you hobbled up the stairs of 221B, thanking god Mrs. Hudson hadn’t greeted you at the door. You hurried into the bathroom and began pulling out the alcohol and suture kit from the cabinet.

You cleaned the wound on your brow quickly before slapping a butterfly bandage over it for the time being. As you looked at yourself in the mirror you saw the dried blood on your face; and the bruises were already littering your arms and abdomen when you slipped off your shirt.

You sat on the edge of the tub as you began to clean the laceration on your side. You started to stitch it up, holding some extra gauze in your mouth. You were so focused on what you were doing you didn’t hear the door opening.

“What the hell Y/N.” Sherlock’s voice made you jump and drop the gauze from your mouth.

“Um, o this. This is nothing.” You tried to smile, but he wasn’t having it.

“Y/N! This is not nothing. John!” He called out through the door into the flat.

John came around the corner and his eyes went wide as they landed on you. He quickly took the suture kit from you and helped to stitch up the remaining open laceration. You hissed slightly as he poured alcohol over it once more before covering the wound with sterile bandages.

The three of you sat in silence, Sherlock no doubt running a million scenarios in his mind, as you concentrated on not passing out. When John finished, you stood in front of the mirror, wiping the rest of the dried blood off of your face before slipping your shirt back on and turning towards the two men who hadn’t said a word.

“So I guess I have a little explaining to do.” You admitted.

“You think?” Sherlock retorted in a protective tone.

You sighed as you made your way into the living room, the two men in tow.

“You might want to sit down.” You motioned towards the couch, you know what you had to do. You’d kept your past a secret for as long as you could, but now it was time to come clean. Now it meant life or death.

Sherlock and John hesitantly sat before you on the couch as you stood in front of the coffee table.

“I solved the case.” You said after a moment, unsure of where to begin.

“You solved the case?” Sherlock asked slowly, in disbelief.

“I know who killed Ben and with what, but I don’t know why.” You admitted.

“Well who did it?” Sherlock asked, impatiently, still not believing you.

“Um so, the problem is we’re not going to be able to find them.” You danced around the real answer, knowing what their reaction would be.

“Why not?” John asked, with furrowed brows.

“Because they’re never going to look the same, one day to the next.” You tried to explain without sounding crazy, but you knew that wasn’t really an option anymore.

“Care to elaborate?” Sherlock raised a brow.

“They’ll be in different bodies.” You spoke quickly, knowing how it sounded.

“John did you check her for a head injury?” Sherlock turned to John and asked, completely ignoring what you were saying.

“Yeah you’re probably concussed.” John nodded.

“I’m not concussed,” You yelled, but thinking back to the beating you took today it was likely, “Ok, maybe I am but that doesn’t mean I’m not telling the truth.”

“They’ll be in different bodies? That doesn’t make any sense Y/N.” Sherlock shook his head, not entertaining these fantasies.

“I know, I’m trying to word this in a way that doesn’t freak you out. The murder was done with a special kind of blade, it’s about this long with a wide almost square blade that comes to a point.” You moved your hands as you tried to describe the angel blade.

“That would match the autopsy report.” John nodded to Sherlock, as if to say maybe she’s not all that crazy.

“Ok, there’s no delicate way to put this,” you clapped your hands together, knowing there was no point delaying the inevitable anymore, “They were demons.”

Sherlock immediately laughed and stood up.

“Why don’t you go lay down Y/N, you’re obviously not feeling well.” Sherlock moved towards you with a patronizing tone.

“I’m not done. Sit down,” You ordered, seriously, “There were two demons, I saw them and they recognized me, so they’ll be back.”

“Why would these “demons” recognize you?” Sherlock asked with air quotes, clearly not taking you seriously.

“Because it’s like my family business. My brothers and I hunted things like this, but I got out of that life.” You shook your head, desperately trying to make them understand.

“And when you say ‘things’?” John asked slowly.

“Ghosts, demons, wendigos, shape shifters, vampires, werewolves.” You listed off quickly, shrugging.

“We might need to order an MRI.” Sherlock turned to John and spoke as if you weren’t there.

“Sherlock would you shut up for five minutes? I know you don’t believe me. And I know you won’t until you see it for yourself but I’m being serious here. Ok? Lives are at risk. There’s two rogue demons running around London and this can’t be the first murder they’ve committed. And now that they know I’m here, there’ll be more.” You spoke so seriously that Sherlock stayed quiet. He didn’t believe you, but he believed that you believed what you were saying was true. Did he still want you to be psychologically checked out? Yes. But for the time being he kept his mouth shut.

“So what do we do?” John asked.

“We call in the big guns.”

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Please let me know what you think! And since I’m still writing the next few parts let me know if there’s anything in particular you’d like to see happen :)

Taglist in reblog.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark  /  remove it with the kiss of a knife  /  even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

[imaginetrahs]

4. Is this a date or what?

Solana

This morning I woke up around nine o'clock and stayed in bed for a while. Oscar wasn't coming until 12:30 and currently it's only 10.

I got out bed with a heavy sigh, and walked to my closet looking for an outfit. I wanted to look good but not like I'm trying too hard. However, I don't want to look like I didn't try. I decided on a cropped thin strapped tank top with ripped jeans and a light flannel shirt. I looked in the mirror and paused thinking about the weather. I checked my phone and it said 85 degrees. I went to change my outfit, but took a picture first. I ended up trying on three different outfits, took pictures of them, and then sent them to the group chat before hopping in the shower.

Real Hot Girl Shit 🤪

Hot Girl Lana

Which one 😭

Read 10:15

Hot Girl Brae

The first one is really cute but so is the third one 😗

Sent 10:18

Hot Girl Ziy

Where are you going 🤔

Sent 10:20

Hot Girl Lana

Out with Oscar 😬

Read 10:50

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Ziy

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Lana

Ok it is not that serious 🙄

Read 10:58

Hot Girl Ziy

Actually it is

Read 11:05

Go with fit 3 bitch

Read 11:05

Hot Girl Lana

Thanks 😊

Read 11:08

I promise to tell y'all everything later

Read 11:10

After punching the air a few times I got dressed and put some mousse on my braids to lay down any flyaways. I didn't do any special makeup just my eyebrows, some lashes and some lip gloss. I walked out of my room to see Jamal sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Where are you going? Did you put sunscreen on because last time you didn't you got burned and then you cried and had me rub aloe all over you and I don't want to do that again." He got up to put his bowl in the sick and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes Jamal, damn." I walked around him to the fridge to grab a water.

"Where are you going?" He continued watching me from the counter.

"Out." I sat on the couch and turned the tv on. Reruns of love and hip hop were on so I decided to just watched that until it was time to go.

"Where?" I sighed and threw my head back on the couch.

"What is this? And interrogation?" I tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of me. "You're not my dad! You always tryna hear something."

Jamal gave me a straight face and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He did this to himself asking all these damn questions.

"Chill out J." I giggled to myself. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

He rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to his room. I stayed on the couch watching tv for the next hour. I was hungry but decided not eat because I'm pretty sure I'll eat with Oscar.

~

12:30 came and went, Oscar still wasn't here. I waited until 1 o'clock to text him, it's only been thirty minutes but Oscar is very punctual it's sickening. I checked my phone again and seen that my message was left on read.

I twisted my face up and locked my phone. I sunk into the couch thinking that maybe he's busy right now and him leaving me on read is his way of telling me he's still coming.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case, I've sat here for another two hours. I laid down on the couch still watching tv, upset. I heard Jamal come out of his room and into the living room.

"I thought you were going out." He came and sat on my back.

"Yeah me too." I groaned out from under him. "Do you wanna go out? Like to eat or something?"

"Really?" His whole face lit up at my question.

"Yeah," I giggled at him, "why wouldn't I be serious?"

He shrugged his shoulders and got up to put his shoes on. I squint my eyes not believing him then got up myself to put my sandals on.

Before leaving I made Jamal take a picture with me for Snapchat. I captioned it with a red heart and posted it. I grabbed my keys from the key hook and left with Jamal behind me. I waited in the car while he locked the front door and pulled out when he got in the passenger seat.

"Where to brother?" I glanced at him but still kept my eyes on the road. Safety first.

"Let's go to the state fair." I stopped at a red light and looked at him surprised.

"Are you sure because last time you told mom and dad you were going to sue them for child endangerment." I laughed and pulled off to get on the freeway.

"I'm a new man now. I'm stronger," he flexed his arms to show his nonexistent muscles, "I'm taller."

"Right." I nodded at him slowly. "We'll see how much of a 'new man' you are when it's time to get on rides."

For the rest of the drive we sung most of the songs that came on Spotify together. Moments like these are my favorite because as we get older we started to drift apart doing our own thing.

About 45 minutes later we parked and hopped out to get to the ticket booth. It was almost 4 o'clock and the park didn't close until 8 so we had some time. For Christmas last year we were gifted membership passes so we didn't have to pay as much and I'm so thankful for our rich family members.

Looking around the park we tried to decide what we wanted to do first. I haven't eaten yet and I was super hungry, like hungry hungry. I looked around for the food truck that I wanted. They served these really, really good buffalo chicken calzones and then I would just get a bucket of fries from another truck and fried Oreos from another. Be honest, who comes to fairs to ride rides because I don't, I come to eat.

Jamal and I sat at one of the free tables and he watched me eat with a disgusted face.

"You know none of that is good for you and with the pace you're eating at, you're bound to choke." He stopped talking abruptly. "I'm not CPR certified." He whispered to himself.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh come on J, chill out. It's like I have to constantly tell you this. Enjoy and indulge in this while you can because once we go back to school it's back to eating prison food."

"I'm pretty sure school food is better than prison food." I huffed and stopped eating.

"That's not the point." I wiped my mouth with the napkins I grabbed. "My point is, enjoy yourself. You're too uptight to be only 14, that's not good. It gives you grey hair early."

"Fine." He sighed and went to reach for my food but I moved it out of his reach.

"What are you doing? All of these vendors and food trucks, and you want my food?" I looked at him like he had two heads. "Go get your own, loser."

~

We've been at the fair for almost four hours and we've ate and played more games than we can count. So far we've won a huge unicorn, big enough for me to sit on, a huge pillow pet and just a bunch of small and medium sized stuffed animals. Since we weren't ready to go yet, I put all of the prizes in a storage locker until we left.

"You ready to go yet?" I looked at Jamal and he looked like he was ready to pass out, truth be told me too. We've been walking around for hours, bumping into people and vice versa, quite frankly I'm tired of it.

"Yeah, you?" He looked back at me and I nodded back at him.

"Let's get a funnel cake before we go?" We both stood up and walked to find the booth that sold funnel cakes. Eventually we found it and stood in line waiting for the few people in front of us.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jamal fidgeting like he wanted to say something. I could feel him glancing at me but not saying anything so I thought I should say something first.

"What is it J?" I turned to him a little, it was enough to let him know he had my full attention.

"What — I don't — what?" He stuttered out.

I pursed my lips and rocked on the heels of my feet waiting for him to tell me. "I don't believe you. So just tell me or rather, I don't know, ask me like a normal person."

He took a minute and finally asked me. "Who were you going out with today?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "that's what you wanted to ask me?" I snorted out a laugh. "I thought you were gonna ask for money 'cause you're in trouble or something. Jeez, J."

He huffed and moved up ordering the funnel cakes for us. I had a feeling he already knew the answer so I didn't bother answering it.

"Are you gonna answer me?" He handed me my cake and we started walking to the front of the fair to grab our things and leave.

"No." I led some guys willing to carry all of the prizes to my car. "I'm pretty sure you already know the answer so...you tell me." I put one hand on my hip while the other held the rest of my cake.

Once the guys were done I tipped them and got in the car. We had a long drive back home because of traffic and it's dark out and people don't know how to fucking drive.

"How did that even happen? Why him of all people?"

To be honest I don't even know myself. Yeah I had a crush on him and yeah he's attractive, very attractive whew. But, the lifestyle he lives is very dangerous, he's older than me, which isn't really a problem I'm eighteen, and he's not really someone my dad would want me to bring home.

"I don't know." I pulled onto the freeway. "It's a long story I guess."

"We got time."

~

We finally arrived home after I spilled my guts about my feelings for Oscar. Surprisingly Jamal didn't say anything about how I felt, because we all know he always has something smart to say.

"I know you're older and you're supposed to look out for me but, you're my only sibling," he took my hand in his, "and I just want you to be safe."

I nodded and squeezed his hand. "Of course. Always."

He nodded back at me and got out the car making his way into the house. My parents were home, I could see their bedroom light on.

I sat in the car for a little while longer not ready to get out yet. My phone went off in the cup holder telling me I had a text message. I looked at it and seen a picture from Braelyn. In the picture it was Oscar, who looked way too high to function, and a girl sitting on his lap. The picture was screenshot from Instagram and it was captioned "Mine 🤪".

I couldn't help but laugh, out of both humor and stupidity. I text back the group chat, "Lmfaooooooo. Bet.", and got out of the car and went inside. I'd get the stuffed animals tomorrow or something, right now I just want to go lay down.

"Hey babygirl." My dad hugged me as I walked in the house. "Jamal told me y'all went to fair. That was nice of you."

"Yeah I thought we should hang before school starts." I kicked my sandals off at the door and grabbed a water from the kitchen. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired.

"Ok, I love you." I repeated it back and went to my room. Today has been a long day.

~

I changed my clothes and then got in bed. I put on Netflix for background noise and check my socials. There wasn't anything special but I watched Jamal's snap and noticed he posted a few pictures of us from the fair.

One picture stood out the most though. It was a picture of me playing the basketball game, I was mid shot with a big smile on my face. It was about 6:30 when it was taken because the sky was a pink-ish orange color and I looked like I was literally glowing. I screenshot it and posted it to my story and locked my phone.

I got another text and seen it was from Oscar. I rolled my eyes and opened it to leave him on read and went back to watching tv. I didn't have time for the tomfoolery, if he didn't want to hang today that's all he had to say instead he stood me up.

"Can I watch tv with you?" I looked up and seen Jamal standing at the door with a disgusted look on his face. "Mom and Dad are...busy and your room is the farthest."

I chuckled and made a space for him on the bed. He climbed in and we watched tv for the next 2 ½ hours. When Jamal got up to leave to his room I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You're my favorite brother."

"I'm you're only brother, Solana."

[goodguidanceptc]

Race Report: Ironman Arizona Race Date: November 19, 2017

2017 started with the mantra, “Make the Kona choice.” I used this to plan and execute training, diet, meal timing and portions, as well as social activities, bedtime, even reading materials. As training data and assessments coalesced, I tweaked it to a more intrinsic, “Make the sub-10 choice.”

Why sub-10? According to www.coachcox.co.uk (which I highly recommend for robust IM data analysis), over the last ten years, the Average KQ time for AG males, 45-49 at IMAZ is a vicious 9:34. In fact, to even sniff at KQ at any Ironman, sub-10 only sometimes gets you in the running.

As volume and intensity of rides and runs increased over months of training, “Make the sub-10 choice” was truncated even further to: “1-5-4,″ an oversimplified shorthand for my expected S/B/R splits. Aggressive? Sure. Mistake? Maybe. But “Aggressive Mistakes” could be the tag line for every middle age endurance athlete. I wanted to redeem a terrible 2015 IMOO, be one of the guys at the pointy end of the bell curve, and with a healthy injection of luck, maybe earn a Kona Qualification.

To help make rides and runs (and lifting sessions) fun, like most folks, I built a playlist library. As I shuffled new songs in and out, the playlists became a mish-mash of blues, hard rock, EDM, classical and funk. Fun. Odd. Me.

I’ll save you some time (ha!)... I didn't get anywhere near sub-10. I made great strides in fitness, learned quite a bit and had some big fun doing it. Falling well short of a 10 hour Ironman has generated a mixed bag of emotions. So, not unlike my playlists, now that IMAZ is done, I’m all over the place. Here’s my race report.

Day Before and Race Day

In light of the result, one very small detail stands out from the day before: as a light snack at about 3:30, I had some corn chips and approx.1/2c guacamole.

Race day: All good. Proper fueling, proper timing, proper execution. 

Lesson: I’m well prepped on race day. Very little anxiety or stress; I planned the race and I’ll race the plan (mostly). But remember that guac snack.

Swim (1:08:32)

Tempe Town Lake is basically a giant, unfiltered pool, murky but calm, a Lake Michigan Lite. Two challenging aspects of the course are 1) officials make it very tough to preview actual course and 2) about 400 yards of swimming directly towards a 7:02 sunrise.

The new self-seeding race start works fine for me, I’m no mass start purist and I’m happy to navigate fewer dolts over the first couple hundred yards. I’d been in this water twice over the past 30 days and shaded goggles got me through.

In candor, while there’s always room for improvement, my Garmin indicated 1:26/100 avg. over 2.58mi and mapped very close to where Ironman says the buoys were placed. So in terms of efficiency, the extra .18miles could be attributed to race-start procedures/location, where I hit my T1 button as well as some normal jostling.

Lesson: better sighting and overall technique will help improve time.

T1 (5:14)

Smooth. Almost half the time my coach thought I’d take. I don’t fuck around in transition.

Bike (5:41:43; 19.7mph avg)

My plan was simple: “Front side strong side, back side fast side.” I’d muscle uphill to the Shea Road turnaround (strong side) and let gravity and aero deliver high speeds back into town (fast side) for three loops. This also fits my general race strategy of “take what it gives you.”

Furthermore, even the windiest rides I’d taken over the month that I lived in Tempe to train, the gusts rarely got above 15mph. So 5-10mph wind forecast was manageable. I had a solid, tested nutrition plan. I’d rented a small profile front wheel and disk back (practiced on during my stay) and a respectable 289 FTP. I made my race weight goal of 162lbs (74kg).

But Ironman is a bitchy trickster.

Because on race day, that bitch wind that usually hits at Beeline Highway, was already in everybody’s face at McKellips Road, a full 10 miles earlier (per loop), than any practice ride. However, logic indicates that if it’s that nasty outbound, it’s at my back inbound! Sure enough, IM tracker data supports this over first and second loops, essentially indicating 17mph outbound, 26mph inbound, though less dramatically on third loop data (16mph out/19mph in).

To stay conservative, I deliberately turned down watts to manage the additional 30miles of headwind on McKellips. Garmin says: 183 avg watts (63% FTP) overall. This may indicate I left some power out there, or(!) that good technique and aerodynamics on the “fast side” kept watts down despite high avg mph.

On the front side of the second loop, lots of “47″ and “46″ male calves passed me. I really hate getting passed. IMAZ results say I ranked 39th out of the water but 60th off the bike. So you just gotta believe me when I say that I let a lot of people go. Is that a positive step in my evolution as a competitor? Or was that concession to windy course conditions? All I know is that I took too long on the bike and there was a lot of conflicting chatter in my head.

To compound the problem, every time I peed, i had to gear up/mash hard in order to coast long enough to straighten a leg as I went. And if a few guys got past me as I peed, I had to catch them. Was that racing my plan? Yes and no. Yes I’d always planned to pee on the bike, but the wattage spikes to regain momentum may have caused problems later. On the other hand, 183 avg watts! So it’s a circular conundrum.

Two other items of note. 

I ate one Clif Bar within the first hour, as planned.

As is my habit, I thank volunteers as well as first responders (police, EMTs, Firefighters) as I go.

Lesson: trust the training. A good plan, well executed, will get it done.

T2 (2:49)

Again, smooth. No issues. I’d gotten all my nutrition and hydration in on the bike and my full body scan was all good. Even gave Susan a quick peck as I went by.

Run (4:21:26 or 9:58/mi)

Ten. Minute. Miles. Criminal. A heinous crime.

What happened? Started slowly--as planned-- and knew the course. Everything for the first two miles was A-OK! I wasn’t pushing. What happened? No problems on second loop whatsoever, I had the legs and the stomach was fine. Cola provided a great boost around mile 24. I ran the last two miles at sub-8:00 pace but did not negative split. I didn't get anywhere near my expected average pace of 8:30s or better. What happened?

One. Bad. GI moment. At Mile 2, forced porta-pottie stop to release the terrible pressure. 

So let’s Tarantino this crime... let’s go back... rewind... maybe you already know where I’m going...

IF I had started cola earlier (mile 16?), I could have negative split...

IF I had not had a brief but sudden bout of diarrhea at the second aid station (symptoms started bubbling at first aid station)...

IF only I hadn’t over-reacted in FEAR, slowing at every aid station to ensure that I was never too far from a port-pottie.

Did I need to walk every aid station? Absolutely not! 

In other words, despite near perfect race day plan and execution, that one  single, sudden burst of diarrhea blew up the whole run. Because once it started, that fear of it becoming a serial killer dominated my race management. Now, in the court of my post-race opinion, where does the blame belong? 

Infinite formula? Both bike and run formulas were used extensively during training. Verdict: Innocent.

That Cliff Bar early on the bike? Circumstantial evidence does point to this suspect, given IMOO results and frequent immediate distress after some(!) training bricks, but the timing doesn’t seem right and, again, used plenty in training. Verdict: Innocent.

Heat? It reached mid-80s. But I never felt that oppressive burn (or other symptoms) of being overheated AND I’d been training in it for over a month AND I did not cramp up afterwards. Verdict: Innocent.

Loss of Confidence? I don’t think of myself as a runner despite having completed multiple 70.3s and lots of long training runs, not to mention the friggin’ Chicago Marathon, sub-4 in 90+ degree heat. Verdict: GUILTY, Aiding and Abetting.

Guacamole? Forgive my grossness here but this suspect matches the volume and consistency of evidence left in the second aid station porta-pottie. Timing fits, too. Verdict: GUILTY.

Lesson: sometimes “take what it gives you” is not the right move. Sometimes fortune favors the bold. Should have and could have run harder and let the poops fall where they may.

OVERALL RACE TIME: 11:19:26

OVERALL RACE GRADE: B-

I had faster time expectations in all three phases, especially the Run. Honestly though, it is somewhat disingenuous to suggest that 11:19 is not impressive. It is. Especially given that this was only my second ever full 140.6 race.

Did I redeem a terrible 2015 IMOO? Unequivocal YES.

Am I one of the guys at the pointy end of the bell curve? SORT OF, depending on how pointy #48 out of 495 ranks in my AG (largest AG at IMAZ).

Did I KQ? Unequivocal NO. Not even close.

Furthermore, I admit that 1-5-4 was a stretch goal from the very start, especially given my limited time in the sport. I also have to admit that there was never any data to support the kinds of power or paces I know to be required for sub-10 results, including but not limited to:

1-5-4 does not account for 10-15 minutes of transition

A 5 hour bike split indicates a 22.4mph average speed

3.2 - 3.4 w/kg is well below elite ratios of 4.0+w/kg

A sub-4 standalone marathon does not project to a sub-4 IM marathon

A 5-hour 70.3 does not project to a 10-hour full

SWIM: A-

Could reasonably trim 7-8 minutes, or about :10-:15 seconds/100.

BIKE: B+

Wind. But also, could have managed/reduced surges better. Could reasonably trim :30 minutes with a few extra watts.

RUN: C

That initial shock of FEAR so early in the run created a tactical overreaction predicated on a lack of faith in my own abilities. I’ve just got to start thinking of myself as a runner. Then, run.

Finishing / Post Race

I’m very grateful to my lovely wife Susan and my wonderful kids, Peter and Veronica for their support. Susan, you are my salvation.

I’m grateful to have the expert professionals Coach K and Coach Sharone and the entire Well-Fit staff who share their wisdom. 

I’m grateful to my inspiring and impressive training partners, including but not limited to the TriFam (Adam, Anjelica, Bernie, David, Kelly, Lauren, Megan, Sach), the Well-Fit Elite Team (too many bad-asses to list) and other triathlete rockstars like AJ, Jeremy, Kristin D., Laura B., Thomas, Tony, and all the Pauls and Mikes.

Special gratitude to Tatsu, Jeremy and Paul Z who were involved, but thankfully not harmed, with my training ride crash. Tatsu was especially gracious and understanding. Thank you.

I’m very grateful to anybody willing to excuse my terrible smell, deplorable language and barbaric sounds during FTP tests.

Maximum gratitude to Well-Fit, FFC, UIC, Whitney Young, Get-A-Grip, Live Grit, Fleet Feet, the Lakeshore path, Joliet Bicycle Club, PSHS and the pros at Moxie Multi-sport in Tempe.

I’m grateful for Crushing Iron (C26), Matt Fitzgerald, Joe Friel, Training Peaks, Scott brand bikes, Garmin, Apple, Chipotle, Lifetime Fitness, Ironman.

Thank you to all the on-course maniacs cheering and making signs and wearing all sorts of crazy outfits to show love and support. 

Special thanks and appreciation to Matt Dryden, Rob Lemons and Bernie Mc for the most amazing on course support--with special Top Marks to Bernie the Leprechaun!

I’m grateful that I’m able to race triathlons. 

[there-willbeblood]

Chapter 4: Gangs of Chicago

STEVE’S POV

I circled Thor once, twice, three times before I lunged, taking him down with me. We hit the mat with a thud that echoed off of the walls in the health club.

Bucky was lifting weights on the other side of the room while other people milled around, not really working out. The only thing that mattered right now was Thor, under my forearm.

He quickly threw me off of him and I rolled over before hopping back up.

"You're getting old, Thor." I played with him, knowing it would piss him off.

"Shut up and fight." He threw himself at me, taking me down by the waist as he laid punch after punch on my body. Since I had my shirt off, my skin was the only thing absorbing the blows.

We Rogers’ men had a strict regiment when it came to working out partly because we needed to stay in shape but also because we had so much pent up testosterone, it was kind of a necessity.

"Come on Stevie, pick up the pace." Thor taunted me as he laid his fists into my chest.

I lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his neck before pulling him down to my level. He let out an animalistic grunt and I flipped us over so that I was pinning him down.

"Hey, cavemen! I'm hungry." Bucky tried to pull me off of Thor but I wasn't letting go easily. I took a couple of rough tugs before I got up, breathing heavily and wiping the blood from my lip.

"Just give me five more minutes with you." Thor spoke as he got off of the floor.

"You two always take it too far. Look at this." Bucky hit my chest where a huge, purple bruise was developing.

"What can I say? I fight to win." I shrugged as my breathing calmed down.

"That was a good workout." Thor held out his hand and I shook before he wrapped his huge arm around my neck in a choke hold.

Bucky eventually gave up, throwing his hands in the air and walked off to get his bag. Once Thor let me go, I followed. I put on my shirt and we sauntered out of the gym.

"I think Dad wants us at the house." I said as I read through the text messages on my phone.

"Now?" Thor groaned.

"You don't have anything better to do."

"I do so. Jane and I were going to the lake. I guess we'll have to reschedule."

"What is with you? How can you have one woman?" I asked, really wanting to know because it all seemed so out of bounds for me.

"She's what I want. It's not that hard, Stevie. Just look at Mom and Dad." He explained, "They've been together forever."

"Yeah but Dad's always been a little soft." I said.

"I'm not soft." Thor defended himself, "I just don't see the need to run around town, trying to get pussy on every corner. Jane is more than enough for me."

"If you say she completes you, I'm taking away your man card." I laughed.

"It's true. I've never felt this way with any girl…ever and you know I've been through hundreds. I've tried relationships before but this is different. I think she's the one." He said and even I could see the light in his eyes. It made me sick.

"I hope I never have to hear those words coming from your mouth again." Bucky shivered.

"You'll both know what I'm talking about soon." Thor threw his arms over both of us as we approached the parking lot, "I can feel it. I need to get my brothers respectable women."

"I like my life." I pushed him off of me, "I don't need a respectable woman."

"I hear that." Bucky gave me a high five and we climbed into one of Dad's cars that we just happened to pluck out of the garage. He had the most extensive collection I had ever seen so it wasn't any skin off of his nose if we took some of them for a joy ride sometimes.

"Do we have time to go to the penthouse and shower?" I asked as I sat in the back. Bucky drove and Thor just fucked with the radio.

"No, we can just do it when we get to the house. We have to drop the car off anyway."

Bucky pulled out of the parking lot and sped down the crowded, late afternoon highways of Chicago.

We passed all the colleges and universities that all the rich kids attended and I huffed a little sigh of annoyance or maybe it was jealousy.

I had never really had the opportunity to be a kid or a regular college student for that matter. From the time I learned about this life when I was about ten, I knew that organized crime was what I wanted to do. From then on, my life was kind of fast tracked and I never slowed down to just be…normal? I guess that's the best word to use for it.

In college, I didn't really party or do anything fun. That was Bucky and Thor's domains. I was more focused on getting out of school so that I could get back to life behind my father. I didn't have time to waste away with frats and drinking games. That wasn't to say that I didn't have my share of fun while in school but it wasn't an everyday type thing.

I was more like my father in that way. I was more business when it called for it and even in a "laid back" atmosphere, I was always tense. I didn't like showing people outside of the family that I could laugh or had emotions. It made me seem weak in my eyes so I stayed cold and hard.

The only time I did appear to be some form of a human was when I tried to pick up girls. I knew the affect I had on women. My bright blue eyes, my gold hair, sculpted body, angular face; it was all like a magnet for anything with a vagina. I wasn't being cocky but I'm just pointing out facts. I usually didn't have to do anything if I went into a club or bar. I let the women come to me and then, with one crooked smile or hand-to-thigh contact, I was in. The rest of my night would be filled with fun sex and adventurous pillow talk.

I didn't have the energy to actually spend any time with women other than the instances I was fucking them because I had better things to do. I didn't want anything like what Thor had with Rosalie because that just seemed like too much work. Plus, I was one who always had to be in control and I wasn't going to be run by some little bitch who thought she could change me. That wasn't how I worked.

It wasn't that I didn't know how to do romance but what was the point? I didn't want any girls sticking around long enough for that. I was a gentleman when it came to women so I guess I did have some kind of soft side to me but I hated showing it. I just couldn't get my mother's teachings out of my head.

Hold the door for a lady.

Pull out her chair.

Never use curse words.

Blah, blah, blah.

"Steve, are you listening to me?" Bucky shouted.

"Do I ever?" I replied sarcastically. He just glared at me in the rear view mirror.

"Okay, what do you want?"

"I was saying that Vienna is going to be at Ma's dinner on Saturday."

"Shit." I said furiously, "Why?"

"Because, Dad says we have some business to deal with and the Volturis have been invited to dinner." Thor rolled his eyes.

The Volturis were so insufferable, it wasn't even funny.

Another crime family who always tried to upstage us, they were from old money and Greek I think although I have to admit that I never really paid any attention to their family history. Our two families have been fighting since the dawn of time even though we've always been semi-cordial, especially now in a time when you couldn't just kill on the street without police breathing down your neck.

Aro Volturi was the head and just like Joseph, he was calm and cool on the outside with a hint of frightening fire beneath. He was terrifying to anyone who crossed him but his face never contorted into anything more than a scowl. Come to think of it, I had never seen him get angry.

The Volturi bloodline was thick with evil and horrible dealings in some of history's most diabolical situations. I think the great, grandfather had something to do with Nazis and then the grandfather was in Columbia for awhile back in the sixties, dealing with the overthrow of the government. Their history was almost as bad as ours but somehow, we came out on top on many things.

The Rogers' had more money, more prestige, more fearing followers and more greatness in general. For that, the Volturi's hated us but like I said, we were always cordial. Once their family moved to Chicago in the late seventies, we were suddenly dealing with them encroaching on our territory and that was unacceptable. At that point, a young Joseph was in command and made it perfectly clear that Aro wasn't necessarily welcome. We were like rivaling gangs of Chicago, tearing up the streets and stepping on each other's toes. Our relationship had been tense ever since.

Aro and his wife had three children; Demetri, Felix and Heidi, all of whom were the most infuriating bunch of humans alive but they were nothing compared to their cousin Vienna.

One time, I fucked her one time maybe five years ago and now she thought that we were in some kind of relationship. She clung to me every chance she got and whenever we got together, she made it a point to have me in her eyesight at all times. I usually just hung out in the office or library whenever I knew she was coming over to my parent's house for dinner.

I banged my head against the window and Bucky drove through the less crowded, rich suburbs of Chicago.

The houses suddenly turned into trees and rolling hills of green grass as we neared the house, which looked more like a castle but Sarah never did anything halfway when it came to decorating. She had her own design firm in the city so she was pretty well known and her house was nothing to scoff at.

On a concealed path, behind trees and brush, the road up to the residence appeared. It was nothing special from the street but once you got past the small thicket of forest, a sprawling estate presented itself like the fucking White House.

Sarah designed, built and decorated the whole thing herself. It was a massive undertaking that took over five years to complete but it was home. This was the house I grew up in and no matter how many apartments or townhouses I owned; this place would always be my favorite for the simple fact that I remember it the most. This was also the place where Joseph ran everything from so it wasn't all peaches and roses.

The granite stone of the driveway was mirrored in the façade of the house that had three floors and God knows how many rooms. I don't even think I had ever counted. Everything inside was modern while still having that old world, Victorian flair that my mother was so famous for.

There were hundreds of acres of land behind the house that stretched for miles and as a kid, I remember running through the trees without a care in the world. As an adult, I remember the forests as a place where shooting practice took place or where I had my first joint when I was twelve. A whole different world emerged out there when the sun set. Darkness brought evil.

Of course, being in the business that we were in, security was everywhere. My father basically hired his own outfit of guards, snipers, attack dogs, everything for his family's protection. There had been more than one occasion when they were needed but thankfully, we hadn't had any casualties in a very long time all thanks to my father's obsessive need to keep his family safe. He knew what he was doing.

Sarah was waiting for us on the front steps of the house when we pulled up into the circular driveway.

"I wonder what we did now." Bucky turned off the car, "She looks pissed."

We all got out of the car with our bags and walked casually up to the door.

"What took you boys so long?" She had an apron wrapped around her waist and even though she was probably cooking, she was in heels that were too high and a skirt that was too professional.

"We were working out. Did we do well?" Thor flexed.

"I told you to be home an hour ago. We're having company." She pushed us inside.

"Who? I thought it was just us for dinner?" I asked.

"The Volturis have to go out of the country on Saturday so I invited them over for dinner tonight."

I spun around quickly, "They're coming tonight?"

"Yes, is there a problem with that?" Sarah had her hands on her hips and a scary expression on her face.

"You know how he gets with Vienna." Bucky said.

"Well you two will just have to get over that. I expect you boys to be polite as usual."

"How long do I have to prepare myself for the massive amount of hell that you just poured on me?" I set my bag down.

"Don't use that language and they'll be here in about an hour. Jane is helping me cook and you boys should be dressed soon. Move." She pointed to the steps and like we were in an army, we climbed the stairs to our old rooms.

They were basically the same as we left them when we went off to college. None of us lived in the house anymore but it was always nice to have a place to call home. My penthouse was just a place for me to stay, not really a home but I guess I could look at it the other way and say that I had the ultimate bachelor pad, which was fine with me.

I climbed the gigantic stairs to the second floor where my area was. On the way, I passed the expensive artwork, large family portraits, hanging curtains and walked on fancy rugs. Sarah didn't like anything done halfway so her house was no exception. It would have put anything a Vanderbilt owned to shame.

Sarah's work had been featured in so many magazines, she pretty much could do what she wanted in terms of remodels of rich housewives' homes.

"Hurry up." Jane shouted from the first floor and I scurried my way to the shower after peeling off my clothes.

I took a good shower, shaved and washed my hair before wrapping a towel around my waist, heading to my closet.

My room was big and looked just like I remember it from growing up. The pictures on the walls and bed sheets had changed but that was about it. Unlike Bucky and Thor, I was a minimalist and didn't need posters or overstuffed chairs. A bed, TV, a couple books; that was all I needed.

I went into the closet and saw my clothes hanging in a perfect line along the wall. All my suits, shirts, belts, ties, and shoes were organized like they had never been touched and I had to remind myself to thank Sarah later. Even though we didn't live with her, she took it upon herself to keep our things neat.

I pulled on boxers and then fingered through my pants selection until I found a pair of navy blue Armani slacks that would be perfect for dinner. I knew how to dress thanks to Sarah and I knew what looked nice on me thanks to women who appraised my appearance. I just chose a crisp, white button down and rolled the sleeves up to my elbows. I put a black belt and black loafers that would complete my look.

I went into the bathroom and tried to do something with my hair, which had a mind of its own. It would stay set for a couple of minutes but as the night went on, I knew it would be all over the place. I had a nasty habit of running my hands through it so I had no one to blame but me.

Usually, dinner at the Rogers' wasn't an everyday thing and was more laid back than this but when we had company, Sarah expected us to be at our best.

I walked down the steps and was the first one ready.

Sarah and Jane were flitting around the massive kitchen, trying to get dinner ready while I sat at the counter drinking a beer.

"You know, you could get off your ass and help." Jane glared at me.

"I don't cook." I replied simply.

"He'll burn the house down." Sarah giggled, "I still remember when you tried to make French toast and you poured syrup on a loaf of bread."

"I was seven." I muttered under my breath and almost laughed at the memory. It would have been funny if everyone would stop bringing it up.

"It's okay dear. We all can't be excellent cooks like me." Sarah pulled out a superior looking pot roast from the oven that was almost as big as my whole body.

She was right. I didn't cook and the fridge in my apartment was basically naked, void of any nutrition. I eat take out if I did eat but most of the time, I went days without anything substantial when work got in the way.

"I don't know why you just don't pay attention." Jane stood at the stove and basted some potatoes, "I could educate you if you would just ask for my help."

"I've tried cooking but it doesn't work for me."

"Maybe you can find someone who can teach you." My mother said with a slight glint in her eye.

"Meaning?" I urged her on because I knew it was coming.

She shrugged, "I'm just saying. You're twenty-five and I know that's young but I want you to settle down. Find someone nice who makes you smile.

"I have you." I gave her my charming voice and she melted.

"You're too sweet but I want grand babies." She pointed at me and I pointed at Jane.

"I don't think so. I don't want kids for at least ten years." She held her hands up, "That's not my thing right now."

"Well me either." I shuddered. I hated kids and my mother knew it. Her best bet for grandchildren was Jane and Thor because I wasn't ever dipping my toe into that lake. Bucky wasn't either.

"Well, someone needs to get pregnant in here." Sarah said and then crossed herself, "Forgive me for that." She spoke to the heavens. Jane and I just rolled our eyes and kept on ignoring my mother's religious antics. She wasn't too pious, none of us were but she tried the most to live by some kind of moral code.

"T-minus half an hour." My father laughed as he glided into the kitchen, regal as ever in his smart, black, suit. He made a beeline straight for Sarah and they had their moment, not caring that I was in the room.

I made a fake gagging noise to get their attention.

"This isn't high school, Steve." Joseph said when he pulled away, "You want to know where you were conceived? Right here on this counter." He ran his hand along the marble where I was sitting.

"You two are sick." I felt my face screw up.

"What's going on folks?" Thor grandly entered the kitchen in a God awful, white suit and pink shirt.

He looked like something out of Miami Vice.

"Really, sweetheart?" Sarah chastised, "You couldn't find something better suited for tonight?"

"You look like a pimp." Bucky laughed when he came into the kitchen.

"No, I like it." Thor did a spin to show himself off.

Jane wiped her hands on a dishtowel and didn't even say anything as she pulled Thor out of the kitchen. He grumbled under his breath but didn't make remarks.

The next half hour was spent in frenzied preparation for the Volturi arrival. My mother didn't like housekeepers or cooks, claiming she could do it all herself so she was working the hardest. Thor, who had been re-dressed in something more appropriate, and I just set the table. Sarah redid it after we were done. Bucky, the only one of us who could cook, made some side dishes.

By the time the gate bell rang, I was on pins and needles. Vienna brought out the worst in me.

Thor, Bucky and I had guns in belts and I suspected that Demetri and Felix had the same. Just in case of course. Aro and my father were always talking about something whether it was business related or not but it could tend to get on the rough side when their two heads butted together.

All six of us stood in the foyer, waiting for Aro and his family to get out of the cars. Joseph and Sarah went out on the steps to greet them and even from the window, I could see Vienna's long legs that started at her chin. I hated to fact that my body reacted to the sight but I had to admit, she was hot… just crazy.

"It's nice to see you again Joseph." I heard Aro's voice through the open door. His sound matched his look. Slightly cold, ashen, ancient and stern while having an undertone of evil.

"You too Aro, it's been too long. I should call more often." My father replied, coolly as usual.

Jane, Thor, Bucky and I looked at each other with skeptical eyes. We knew that would never happen.

They talked on the steps, making polite conversation until they came inside. Aro's wife, Athenadora was a kind and gentle woman; similar to Sarah who liked to dote on her sons more than necessary. Felix and Demetri came in with their suits on and guns clearly shown. Bucky, Thor, and I stood up a little straighter to show them whose house this was.

They were both big and muscular kind of like Thor but had nowhere near the amount of mass he had. They resembled almost exactly their father with their deep eyes that looked almost black and short, cropped, dark hair. They stood about my height, which was pretty tall but I wasn't intimidated by them. I never had been.

Heidi was looking as hot as ever and was Jane's main competition through all of this. Jane hated to be upstaged in anything, especially beauty and Heidi was giving her a run for her money, in a red dress to show off her ample amount of cleavage and lots of skin. And then of course, Vienna was there to give me a bright smile.

"Steve, I've missed you." She jumped and wrapped her arms around me, holding tightly to my neck.

She had long, flowing blonde hair and a cherub-like face, making her look like a Botticelli angel. She had curves in all the right places and slender everywhere else. I tried not to think of the warmth of her pussy but was failing miserably. If she wasn't so screwed up in the head, maybe we could help each other out in the sexual frustration department.

"You too Vienna. I hope you're doing well." I spoke professionally so that she would know to keep her distance.

"We should hang out more now that I'm back in the city. Are you still staying in the penthouse?" She looped her arm around mine as we walked towards the dining room.

"Yes." I said, not really wanting to give her too much information.

Maybe it was the Gods trying to punish me for my sins but I was seated next to Vienna, who was more than happy when I pulled out her chair for her to sit.

The talk around dinner was normal and strained, intertwined with short snippets of mob business but Sarah shut that down as soon as it arose.

A wonderful dinner was had and I was actually surprised that no one had blown each other's brains out yet. For the most part, it was a nice affair with good wine and delicious food. Everyone laughed as Aro told old stories about him and Joseph in their heyday.

As a huge desert of chocolate cake was passed around, I felt a small hand shoot directly to my crotch. I dropped my fork with a loud clang and all eyes turned to me.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" Sarah asked with a concerned face.

"Yes." I squeaked out and smiled.

I hit Vienna's hand away but she was already a little happier than I wanted. My dick wasn't listening to my thoughts and shot straight up in my pants due to the fact that it was getting some attention.

"Don't fight me Steve." Vienna whispered with a snippet of lust in her voice as her hand went back in between my legs.

Fuck it!

I let her jack me off under the table while our families finished dinner.