#fun fact: this is the first novel balzac felt proud enough to sign with his actual name

[lafcadiosadventures]

[bigcheeksandabigheart]

[Jay’s] Happy Anniversary (proof read just a lil)

Title: Let’s Give It A Try

Characters

Jay (20)

Jinri (20)

Summary: Best bros to decent lovers(?)

If Jay literally felt himself beam at the sight of Jinri huddled up next to a bookshelf of fiction novels, he keeps it to himself as he makes his way towards her with quiet steps. The corner of his lips twitch in excitement as he slots himself behind her, sliding a hand up against the bookshelf, before leaning down to whisper creepily into her ear, “Hey virgin.”

In shock, Jinri jumps in her place, almost knocking her head on Jay’s chin while letting out a loud shriek that earned them a glare or two from students around them. Jay snickers quietly behind his hand as he looks over his shoulder to meet eyes with one of the younger librarians (he’s been kicked out quite a few times already for being too loud). Before he can turn his head back around, she punches him right on the chest and if it does hurt him, he doesn’t express it. “Don’t do that you butthole!” she yelled at him in a hushed whisper. “I was just getting into the intense part of the novel, damn you!”

Jay grabs the book from her hand and looks at the cover with his eyebrows furrowed. “Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress…” Jay’s voice trails off before his eyes widen in amusement, “hey isn’t this shit the one where he fucks a girl against the tree–why are you rereading this? Pervert!”

“Stop being such an ass hat!” Jinri pushes him by the chest and takes the book away, Jay only chuckles more. With a click of her tongue, she walks off farther into the aisles of bookshelves, Jay following obediently behind her. Her fingers, run through the spines of the books as she walks by them and Jay only holds his backpack straps tighter. “Oh, shoot, how was last night by the way? Heard you didn’t come home until the afternoon after.”

“Maybe if you came, you would have known what happened, hermit,” Jay retorted with an unneeded snort, Jinri huffs bitterly. “Maybe you should stop focusing on those stupid shows and start going out more often.”

“Maybe mind your own damn business,” Jinri looks over her shoulder to glare at him before turning away with a huff. Jay laughs to himself as she leads him into her booked study room in the library. He immediately takes his backpack off the moment he slithers inside and flops down on one of the rolling chairs, gently placing his bag on the table after realizing that he has his laptop inside. “I got twenty more minutes in the room.”

Jay just absentmindedly nods while staring at the projector screen, her powerpoint presentation glowing against the white screen. “I accidentally crashed over a girl’s place and overslept,” he finally answers, his attention turning back to her. He tries not to smirk so much when he notices her eyebrows twitching in the middle, or the way she immediately looks away from him and diverts her gaze towards the screen. “She wanted to cuddle.”

“Cuddle? With the Park Jaebum? OH no!” Jinri gasped, dramatic and all. Jay just laughed even louder, leaning against the round table between them. “What’s next? Asking the what-are-we question? Oh my! Oh my!”

“Lame ass,” Jay just comments with an amused smile, head cocking towards the projection. “Okay, enough of my affairs. Present your shit.”

Much like how Jay is during his class, her words slip from one ear and exit out the other. He just pretends to listen whilst analyzing every inch of her features. From the roundness of her face, to the way her bottom lip juts out every time she collects her thoughts, to the way she fidgets when she stutters, to the swell of her hips and the bareness of her thighs, the way her tank top reveals so little for the little things she already possesses and then to her long wavy locks. He just leans his cheek against the palm of his hand as he watches her mouth move for every single syllable muttered until she finishes and just stares at him.

“You need to stop playing with your fingers and quit umm-ing all the time.” If Jay is good at anything in life, besides his fast rising social circle and his skills in video games, its presentations. Which only correlates to his mastery in bullshittery. It’s not that hard to pretend to be enthusiastic in something, if he can do it whenever a person of target makes conversations, presentations is nothing. “And stand up straight, you look like a humpback whale.”

“I will shove my foot so far up your ass!”

“Yes daddy~””

***

“Which one do you want? I can hook you up,” Jay quirks his eyebrows suggestively towards the now blonde. Jinri sighs in exhaustion, drink in her hand (her first after 3 hours into the party). Unlike their circle of friends, Jinri seems to be the only one who never goes all out in parties, only seemingly tagging along in the sidelines, much like how Jay met her two years ago. Which, by the way, is very contradicting to the way he had initially thought of her. He almost wants to laugh whenever he thinks about the time Jinri offered smoking weed with him when she had barely touched a blunt in her whole entire life. And then Jay invited her to go partying, and suddenly she was shy around people. Though, Jay couldn’t say shit, he wasn’t as lit as Jinri had assumed him to be. For fuck sakes, he bitched over the color of his skin and his burdens on fake tans.

“I told you, I don’t like one night stands!” Jinri yells over the music and Jay just blinks at her.

“Right, the whole sex is only for the person you truly love,” Jay rolls his eyes, the tone on his voice quite sarcastic which only earns him a hit on the chest. He shakes his head at the thought. Sex with a stranger versus sex with someone you love always falls in the same spectrum of pleasure anyways: sex. It’s just one organ going into another that makes life worth it. “Ridiculous.”

“YAh! If I support your sex with everyone that walks, then support mine,” Jinri takes a sip from her beer (the best one Jay can find in this damn party) and her face scrunches up right after. “You’re proud to be a whore, and I am proud to fuck anyone I love.”

“You love me?” Jay flirts like it’s his second nature and Jinri turns redder than she already is. He just laughs louder and takes a huge sip from his drink, reaching over to pinch her heating cheeks. “You know ugly, you’re not that bad.”

“What is that suppose to mean!?”

“Blah,” he sticks his tongue out and turns around to walk off, leaving Jinri to fend for herself.

***

“It’s not that I’m against relationships, you know?” Jay explains himself as they both lay down on the grass, staring up at the night sky above them. Resting his head on his bent arm, he turns his head to look at her as she lays next to him with her knees propped up, hands on her belly. “It’s just that I’m picky, you know what I mean?”

“Hmm,” Jinri just nods nonchalantly, quieter than usual, a sign that she’s genuinely listening to him. It’s not often they have meaningful discussions about himself, in fact, they barely talk about him. That’s what makes them different. Jinri speaks her mind, every troubles and every worries, even things that makes her happy. She’s an open book about it, and it’s not because it’s the way she is, it’s because it’s the way Jay is. It’s damn easy for Jay to look for signs, read into things many don’t usually pay attention to, and Jinri just so happens to show her emotions through her words and actions. But for Jay, it’s not necessarily easy for him to say certain things about himself. He’s neither comfortable or fond of sharing his troubles, insisting that it’s easier to fix it himself than burdening others with it. But sometimes, it just comes out with her. “What do you look for then?”

“In a lover?” Jay looks up momentarily to think of an answer and hums. “Well for instance, I want them to be someone who’s chill. Easy going, you know?” Jay starts, looking down and gazing over to her fingers drumming against her stomach. “Someone who I can talk to as a friend and laugh at everything with. A person who isn’t afraid to express themselves and wouldn’t shy away from me. Like, I want them to talk to me but not too much when it’s too overbearing. And! Someone who doesn’t cling too much, someone who’s constantly trying to grab all my time, I hate those.”

Jinri turns to look at him with a longing gaze.

“And someone who won’t lock me down and hold me back–someone I can basically laugh and grow with together. Someone who tries to understand me, and not change me. I want a best friend.”

“You’re asking for someone who’s too perfect,” Jinri mumbles.

“I’m just asking someone to accept me for who I am and make me happy,” Jay concludes as he picks on the grass. Silence surrounding them as Jinri just stares at him, and for the first time in awhile, Jay isn’t able to read her expression. Not sure of what her stare means, or if it’s disapproval when she bites her lips together in a thin line.

“You’ll find him or her soon…hey maybe it’s him,” Jinri raises an eyebrow and Jay groans, rubbing his face with his hand, forgetting the fact that he’s been touching the grass with it.

“I don’t think so. He’s too overbearing and it’s not fun…he spoils me you know? And I need someone who can tell me to back off or slow down,” he shakes his head.

“You’re really asking for someone who doesn’t exist.”

“They exist!”

***

“I’m so damn tired of being toyed with like this. It’s all fucking bullshit, I swear to hell,” Jay covers his face with his hands, hair dishevelled from too much pulling. He hears Jinri sigh before feeling an arm envelop his sitting form; arms around his waist as she presses herself against his side. Her warmth only slightly making him feel better. “Why does she need to lie to me like this? Like what’s her fucking point?”

“I know Jay, I know, I was shocked too,” Jinri brings his head against his chest, running her fingers through his hair. Jay almost feels bad for burdening her. Tonight was probably going to be her typical night of studying or watching a new drama, but he just decides to barge in her single dorm room and bitch about his life for the past two months. And then be such a little bitch and cry over a girl who Jinri insists doesn’t deserve him, rubbing his back as he sits on her too small of a bed.

“Fuck I know I’m ass, but do I really deserve to be lied to like this?”

“Jay, shut up!” Jinri pinches his side and hisses at him. “As much as you think you’re an ass, you’re not! You’re a great guy, Jay, to me you really are. And she’s just a fucking bitch. She’s a conniving hoe at that too!”

***

As fast as Jay fell for her, he gets over it just faster. And before anyone knows it, his life’s back to being where it was before the whole fiasco. His breakdown is the last of anyone seeing and his ego grows back to life, bigger than before. Back to being everyone’s friend and back to partying and getting his weekly lay. Then hanging out with Jinri as much as they can between Jay’s social leeching tendencies, Jinri’s addiction to shows, and their classes. If Jay was exhausted, Jinri was just as tired as he was.

So it comes to no surprise when Jay wakes up in the middle of the night, almost falling off his bed, feeling a warm body next to him. But unlike most nights, Jay isn’t naked and the person beside him doesn’t seem properly fucked out or drunk. Quietly, he sits up from his bed and grabs his laptop over their heads to place it down on his floor before laying back down, his head hitting his pillow. With careful movements, Jay gently pushes Jinri towards the wall more to give himself space and then throws a blanket over her exposed shoulders.

Within a blink of an eye, Jay wakes the morning after with a warm body literally on top of him, face nuzzling at the crook of his neck. Most times, he would be complaining and finding a way to sneak out of the room, or get a second (third) round, but he just closes his eyes again to try to get more sleep. Though with no avail, Jinri stirs beside him and upon realizing her position, she quickly sits up and gasps. And if Jay peeks at her blushing cheeks with her hand on her beating heart, he keeps it to himself as he tries to collect more hours of sleep before having to get ready for his afternoon class.

“Why was I dreaming of Nazis?”

***

“Jay!” Jinri grabs onto his arm, panting softly after running after him, which receives an eye roll from Jay. He mentally notes down in his head to start taking Jinri to the gym every MWF. “I forgot to tell you about that thing I promised to tell you before you leave.”

“Oh,” Jay briefly remembers her blushing form after promising him something she will reveal only for her to run away from him, excusing herself to being late to class. He looks down at her hands, which haven’t released his arm yet. “What is it? The car’s coming soon.”

“I…” Jinri puffs her cheeks out as she inhales deeply, her grip on his arm getting tighter. “Well I have…things for you.”

“A present?!” Jay beams with a gasp, like a child during his own birthday.

“N-no!” Jinri shakes her head, vehemently. She looks up at him with her doe eyes, a nervous shake in her own two eyes that Jay quickly detects. Her lips keep opening and closing like she’s failing to form actual words. And just like how Jay predicts it the first time around, he slowly awaits her words, expecting exactly what is about to happen.

“You killed my pet goldfish huh? Is that it?” Jay plays along anyways.

“N-no–No! How dare you accuse me of your lack of responsibilities?!” Jinri finally releases his arm and smacks him on the chest. “What I wanted to say is that I like you, you asshole!”

Jay pauses for the sake of dramatic effect before he gasps too comically to actually come off as a real shock. “No way?” Jinri blinks at him. “No really, what’s your big secret?”

“…t-that’s it?”

“But I already know?” Jay blurts out with no remorse to how Jinri is basically about to have a panic attack right before his eyes.

“W-w-what? What do you mean you already know!?”

“I mean you’re not exactly good at keeping secrets,” he smiles and pats her on the head. “Thank you for the confirmation.”

Jinri frowns. “What the fuck?”

“Come on Jinri, I know when someone’s drooling over me,” Jay snorts.

“Fine, whatever, I just wanted to let you know–I mean you don’t have to do anything about it. I don’t expect you to like me back, but I just thought it’s best that you know…like I don’t want to date you or anything! I just had to tell you…for me.”

The car slowly pulls over besides Jay and Jinri and they both look at it like it’s interrupting something so special. “Alright. Even if you were so obvious about it. Have a Merry Christmas, Ri, don’t get your ass freezing yeah?” Jay ruffles her hair before slipping inside the car after the driver places his bags inside his trunk.

***

“What a damn ugly ass cat,” Jay looks at the white cat at the corner of Jinri’s too small of a bed. Almost too immediately, Jinri smacks him across the arm and shoves him against the wall. “Yah!”

“He’s not an ugly cat! He’s my baby, my Hero! He’s an amazing company, okay? And he doesn’t bully me like you.”

“You know when I said you can sign up for a comfort pet, I meant get a dog, not a damn cat,” Jay points out, throwing his hands out towards the cat only to get another shove from the smaller girl.

Much to their surprise, their friendship doesn’t exactly change since Jinri’s confession. Jay comes back to school, sated from his trip back home, and Jinri doesn’t bombard him with pressure. It’s like the confession didn’t even happen, even if Jay purposely brings it up to tease her and Jinri yelling at him that soon enough she’s going to get over him. And just like that it’s already in the middle of March, midterms rolling up soon.

“Oh shit, yeah,” Jinri turns to face him with a quizzical expression. “I started speaking to your boyfriend again, and he’s so in love with you.” See? Nothing changed, very highly disappointing.

“He’s not my boyfriend! Shut up virgin ass.”

***

“I get it Jay, I can’t force you into something you don’t want.”

Jay mindlessly walks around the city around the campus with no destination in mind, taking his time with each stride as thought after thought runs through his head. His fingers shoved into the pockets of his jacket, the tips of each finger wanting to scratch something but not knowing what. He feels so confused and bothered. Things just doesn’t make sense to him. But it feels so wrong, just really wrong. Surely, he did try to feel something more than the need of a companion, a person who can satisfy his lust, and the enjoyment of being treated like he’s sitting on the high throne. But something in himself didn’t feel right. And he knew it from the very beginning. Because the moment he confessed his feelings, he was still unsure of his future, much like many of the people who he had grown accustomed to like.

It was just this time, he was more persistent than most. Showing up more often, saying yes to every command, and pretending to be interested in things he was. But at the same time he’s supportive, it was like he was also trying to imprison him, and rejuvenate him to be someone squeaky clean and it felt so damn wrong to be Jay for who he is. But he fell for it, the lust and the attention, so he stayed and kept quiet of his uneasiness, perhaps desperate for someone to love him, and as much as he cringes at the thought, he couldn’t help but feel the truth from it. Although, he knew he wouldn’t be happy about it in the end.

But what the fuck makes him happy?

Jay was tired of it all, the way faces just passed by without any sense of lingering. It was like he was build to just collect as many faces as much as possible but never let one imprint on him. Maybe he was too picky and standard. Maybe Jinri was right, there was just no one that falls under his ideal type.

“Fuck,” Jay mumbles under his breath as he stomps childishly on a crispy leaf. Who was he fucking kidding? This was all his damn fault. There would have been someone so perfect for him if he just stopped and get to know the people before fucking them into their sheets.

Jay looks up from the floor to realize his familiar steps as he presses a button to the elevator, his heart beating too fast for no fucking reason. He stares at the shining doors of elevator with now an empty thought in his head. He isn’t so sure how he got here and isn’t so sure why either but it feels right the moment he slips pass through the doors to walk down the hallway.

Without hesitation, he barges into the small room of her one person dorm. And before he gives a single thought about anything he says, he stares at her figure and blurts out, “hey, we should go out. Like on a date, you and me. Shit let’s try getting together.”

Jinri drops her opened water bottle on her light green carpet, spilling the contents. “What the fuck!?!”

“Is that a yes?”

***

“Yah! I could have died!” Jinri yells at him after he swiftly lifts her from the floor and sits her on top of the ladder of the playground set, her legs trapping him in between with her ankles locking together. His hands comfortably lays on her thighs as she hands her arms over his shoulder. Her cheeks slowly turns to a faint color of pink as he continues to gaze at her features. “Stop doing that,” she whines weakly as she drops her chin to her chest to avert away from his stare.

“Stop doing what?” Jay steps closer towards her, his arms resting besides her legs on the metal surface. She blushes harder when he tilts his head to look at her from under her, their eyes meeting momentarily before she closes them tight, squeezing him with her legs. “Jinri.”

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jinri whispers lowly, lifting her head when Jay nudges her chin with the knuckle of his index finger, reopening her eyes to look down at him, meeting his two dark orbs again. “Who knew you’d want to date me? Me? Out of all people, me?”

“You’re my best friend,” Jay simply explains, words so simple yet they both know the deeper meaning behind it, and it’s only for them to treasure. Jinri just whines louder not a second later and hides her face against his shoulder, her hand coming to aid as she covers the side of her face, and Jay just finds her more endearing than before.

“What the fuck?” she groans as her free hand smacks him on the chest again, mumbling about how stupid they both are, alternating between blaming him and then herself with no aim of what the faults are about. “It doesn’t even make sense!”

“Are you complaining?”

“N-no,” Jinri is quick to shake her head before whispering softly, like her words are only for him to hear. “I’m just really really happy.”

“Me too. It’s been awhile,” Jay confesses just as quietly and for a moment Jinri forgets to breathe. And Jay likes it, likes it when she becomes breathless without having to do an exerting a huge amount of force. Jay wishes to steal it more often. “Jinri,” he whispers again and pulls his head back to force her to look at him. Gently, he cups her cheek in his hand, his thumb caressing the softness of her skin. “You make me happy.”

The sight of her smiling widely for him with her eyes shining against the darkness around them, it makes him feel so elated. A feeling he’s so foreign with. So he takes his chances to pull her in and let their lips finally meet for the first time, his eyes closing the moment he feels the softness of her lips against his own. Jay starts hearing the pounding of his heart against his ear as Jinri then grabs both of his cheeks to pull him even closer, deepening their kiss as their lips lock. And soon enough, Jay couldn’t hear anything anymore as she grows more daring to graze her teeth along the seams of his lower tier before letting her tongue take its own feel, and Jay knows by then, he’ll be nothing but lost in her control.

***

“What do you mean? I think you’re fucking sexy like that?”

If there is anything Jay likes doing to Jinri is making her flustered. A flushed startled look with her eyes widening. That one moment of silence before she’s shoving at him and yelling before proceeding to run to another room to hide.

“Cute booty.”

***

Jay is more than unsure about the pressure against his crotch, especially when his mind is still foggy from sleep. Either way, the pressure is more than welcoming when he slowly stirs from his sleep to wake up to a curtain of blonde hair around his face. Her hands pinning his shoulders down against the mattress, fingers digging into his skin as her hips gyrate her hips down his own. “Jinri…?” he moans out the question when she particularly rolls her hips forward.

Jinri then leans back to sit right on his hips, ass perked on his growing bulge with enough pressure that he becomes wanting but not enough that he feels an urge to lift his hip. Her hair is in dishevelled around her, long locks reaching past her (read: his) white hoodie. Jinri lets out a small little whine that escapes pass her plump lips, her hands playing with the waistband of his boxers. The corners of her eyes welling up in small tears.

“Daddy, can Jinri get her cummies now?”

Jay freezes in his spot and when he blinks once, Jinri disappears and it feels very hot. He quickly sits up and runs his fingers through his hair, his mind trying to process things. And then he begins patting himself frantically, trying to find the reality of things. It is only when he realizes everything was just a dream, he curses under his breath. With a frustrated groan, he falls back onto his pillows, crying loudly, “when is she going to fuck me?! It’s been three months???”

***

Happy Anniversary baby