#future steven says fuck in every conversation as emphasis (he's me)

[whim-prone-pirate]

let them say fuck

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Stark’s New Intern” Chp. 3

Summary: Erik has lunch with Tony and gets a new roommate...

"Don't let your young life get you down It always had a certain mystery Many changes come to everyone About the time that they turn seventeen Grandma said at times you'll feel a sting There'll be sharp turns and uphills and closed doors Then she said hold onto your faith 'Cause in this world you've got to go and get yours

So you stand up Be strong go out there Hold on to the real things that matter 'Cause no one's gonna hand it to you on a silver platter..."

The Brand New Heavies—"Brother Sister"

Pepper Potts glared at Tony like he stole cash from her purse.

"What have I done now?" Tony asked.

He placed his hands on the table in an open palm stance. A waiter walked up behind Pepper holding a martini and Erik watched Tony shake his head and the waiter slunk back to the bar. Clearly Boss Man wasn't supposed to be at Durangos. And it appeared that he wasn't supposed to be drinking either. Erik grabbed a menu and stuck his nose down in it to figure out how much of Tony's money he was about to use up. He was hungry and bold enough to spend hundreds at that moment.

Pepper ignored Erik and pulled out a file from the charcoal gray attaché case she had slung around her shoulder.

"I told you I needed these physically signed, not electronically, before you left the office. I told you this three times yesterday and now I have a defense contractor in Germany up my butt because of you. You never listen to me."

"You look lovely today, Pep—"

"Save it. Just sign."

She jabbed a pen Tony's way and he quickly signed several forms before handing her back the pen.

"Lovely to meet you, Erik," Pepper said with a little bite in words. She stormed out of the restaurant.

"So...about her..."

"No need to explain to me," Erik said.

Another waiter approached the table.

"The Lobster and filet mignon for both of us. Medium. One dirty martini...two dirty martinis and a Shirley Temple—"

"Coke," Erik interjected putting down the menu. "I'll have the lobster bisque and glazed duck sliders too."

The waiter took the menus and Tony looked at Erik with humor in his eyes.

"How did you like the morning portion of the tour?"

"It was alright."

"Just alright? State of the art décor, cutting edge tech and all you give me is 'alright'?"

"It was cool, man. Whatchu want me to say? I ain't like them other dudes tripping over themselves to get next to you."

"Yeah, you turned down doing this internship twice...seriously...what do you really think?"

Erik took a sip of the soda the waiter brought over to him and sat back in his seat.

"I was impressed."

"Have you decided what department you want to be in?"

"Cybertech."

"Emphasis?"

"Biometrics."

"Good choice. Perfect for your interests. Who is your hotel roommate?"

"Tyler. The dude from Canada."

"Getting along?"

"He's quiet. Keeps to himself."

"When we move you all over to the Oakwood next week, do you want to keep him as a bunk buddy?"

"You can stick me with anybody—"

"No, you don't get just anybody. You are here for three months and I need all my interns focused at the office and not having problems at night."

"Stick me with whoever. I don't care. I'm here to learn and keep to myself."

"See, that's not how this works at Stark Industries. The lone wolf mentality is not conducive to below the line teamwork. I am building a future team. Ten people are going to be kept on, and I want you to be one of those ten. You have to get rid of this individual crusade you got going on."

"It's worked for me so far—"

"At Annapolis?"

Erik looked at his glass of soda.

"They break you down and build you up to be the Borg. I know the drill, Stevens. Cut the crap."

"You gotta stop separating me then."

"I will do that. This is just a little formality to make sure your head is straight."

"I'm straight—"

The lobster bisque and glazed duck sliders were set before Erik by a different waiter and he tucked in right away. By the time he had wolfed down his first course, the lobster and steak were in front of him, and he ate his meal in peace.

Tony sipped on his martinis and checked his cell from time to time. Erik ordered dessert, chocolate bread pudding with French vanilla bean ice cream. When they were finished, he followed Tony out to the valet stand.

"Do your best and your place here is assured, Stevens."

Erik nodded.

But he wasn't there to get a career. He was there to learn what he could use in the future. A future writ in his father's blood.

###

"Fuck."

Erik stood in the lobby of the Oakwood Apartment office staring at his cell phone.

Maria's name and picture stared back at him. They were partnered as roommates. Apartment key card in his hand, Erik rolled his large suitcase and duffle bag to the furnished upstairs unit he was assigned. It was near the pool and jacuzzi and Erik felt his mood sinking even lower because he knew this was going to be the party spot, and he didn't want to be around loud noises. He went back to the apartment office and tried to get re-assigned, but the woman there said there were to be no changes without Mr. Stark's approval. Erik already knew Tony did this to him on purpose. Stuck him with the most annoying person he had met so far.

When he tapped his key card to the entrance and stepped in, Maria was already standing in the middle of the living room with her three bags.

"Roomie!" she said.

He rolled his eyes at her and closed the door.

"I wanted to wait until you arrived so we could choose rooms."

"Whichever one doesn't face the pool."

"Cool! Because I want the other one that does!"

Maria took off to find her room. The good thing about the layout was that the bedrooms were opposite one another. He planned to spend as little time around her as possible.

Unpacking in the slow methodical way he had always done since he was a child, he took time to organize his living space and changed clothes. He was happy to be in a t-shirt and baggy jeans again. He grabbed the bottle of Gullah Red Rooster hot sauce he had wrapped in his suitcase. Slipping his feet into some comfy black slides, he headed into the kitchen to see what they had as far as cooking utensils.

Maria was already there digging in the cupboards.

"They have a rice cooker!" she squealed.

He nodded, happy that he didn't have to buy one. He was always eating rice. At least they had that one thing in common by the way she was pleased by the discovery.

"I cook a lot," she said.

"I do too."

She stared at him as if she didn't believe him. Cooking was something that was instilled into him early by his father. His Mom was a great cook, but his father was exceptional. It was a skill that was passed down to him, and he planned on using the kitchen a lot to get comfortable. If he had to suffer this living arrangement, he would at least eat well and stuff his pain with good food. He opened up the cupboard closest to the stove and stuck the hot sauce on the bottom shelf. Maria stared at him with a smile on her face.

"What?" he said glaring at her.

She held her hands out to him. A bottle of Louisiana's Finest sat in her palm. Erik couldn't help the smile that crept across his lips. She stepped next to him and placed her bottle next to his in the cupboard.

"Pedestrian," he said staring at her bottle.

"Look who's talking with that mild stuff you're depressing us with—"

"Mild?"

"Watered-down pepper sauce—"

"I know you not talking trash 'bout my Nana's shit—"

"Put up or shut up!"

They both grabbed their bottles and snatched spoons out of a kitchen drawer.

"You first," Maria said.

She opened up her fresh bottle and shook a drop onto the spoon. Erik took the spoon and stuck it into his mouth. A subtle smoky-sweet flavor, a slight tingling in his gums—

"Shit!" he said as his eyes watered and his mouth gaped open from the wicked heat.

Maria cackled. Once Erik could see again and his tongue prepped to create a new layer of skin for his burned off taste buds, Maria took his bottle and shook two drops on her spoon.

"Yo, you might wanna go easy—"

Maria stuck the spoon in her mouth with attitude. Three seconds later she was crying and sticking her mouth under the kitchen sink trying to wash away the taste.

"Told ya," Erik said watching her struggle. The sauce burned away the whites of her eyes turning them a watery red mess, and she kept panting as she rubbed her fingers across her tongue. After a full display of histrionics that Erik felt was overexaggerated, Maria leaned against the kitchen stove and wiped more tears from her face.

"You win," she said, her tongue stuck out for him to see.

"Don't bring no knife to a gunfight, girl," he said putting the bottles into the fridge.

"Keep that away from my stuff!"

He placed their sauces on separate shelves.

The rest of their time was spent at the kitchen table going over house rules. Mainly Erik's rules. No talking or loud noises before ten a.m. No house guests without two days' notice. Shared spaces had to be immaculate. No dishes left in the sink under any circumstances...clean as you go. No touching or eating another's food. Bathroom and toilet had to be cleaned daily. No traces of shaved hairs in the sink or bathtub. No hair ties or traces or hair after washing in the tub/shower. Phone conversations shouldn't be heard by a third party. Shoes off in the apartment at all times. Trash taken out every three days even if it wasn't full. No loud noises after nine at night. No smoking indoors unless it was weed.

Maria stared at the list he had emailed to her.

"You have anything to add?" he asked her staring at his own cell.

"Am I allowed to breathe or fart at any time?"

Erik quirked his lips at her and she giggled.

"Can we play music?" she asked.

"Yeah. Just be cognizant of the other person if they are working on something. Use headphones at appropriate times."

"Have you always been this anal?"

"Anal?"

"I know military training is imprinted on you, but jeez dude—"

"I just want to keep the peace. I need order and cleanliness, Ma. For reals. I can't stand living with nasty ass people. Can you deal?"

"I can deal."

They heard music blaring from outside. Maria jumped up and ran to their tiny balcony window throwing back the drapes.

"People are out at the jacuzzi already. We should go down!"

Erik let out an exasperated sigh.

"You are such an old man! Lighten up, Erik. God, I love this song!"

Maria grabbed his hand and dragged him out the front door.

Five interns sat inside the jacuzzi while an additional ten stood around with beers in their hand. Someone already made a beer run? They all wore swimsuits.

Erik glanced around. No Giselle or Curtis.

"Hey look, it's Stark's boy!"

Wesley Bretts. Boston. New money. Ultra redneck vibes masked under an upper-middle-class persona. Trouble.

"I ain't nobody's boy," Erik said with a little thunder behind his tone.

"No harm no foul, man. Just pointing out your favored status."

Wesley grinned with perfect bleached teeth and a phony all-shucks demeanor. Erik could feel all eyes on him again. He was younger than everyone else there, but he wasn't about to let no Boston bum talk to him any ole kind of way. Erik sauntered over and stood toe to toe with him.

"Watch how you talk to me and there won't be no problems in this bitch—"

"Hey, Erik, have a beer," Maria said.

She grabbed one from one of the women there and shoved it into his chest. Someone splashed water on Wesley from the jacuzzi and he wrenched his eyes from Erik's.

"You are so in trouble for that!" Wesley said dropping down into the jacuzzi and splashing water back at a blonde who had her eyes on Erik.

Erik opened the tab on his beer and gulped down the bitter brew.

"He's a dick. Ignore him," another blonde said to him. Her smile was sincere.

"I'm Hayley, that's Irene and Valentina—"

Erik took in their names and faces. Maria introduced herself to them and he stood there feeling uncomfortable, wishing he had stayed inside the apartment. If he couldn't get through a beer bash at an impromptu party, he was going to be on struggle mode the rest of his time there. Better to man up and push through the dumb shit.

"You and I will be under the same project manager," Valentina said.

"What?" he said tuning into her face.

Valentina was a raven-haired beauty with the lightest milky blue eyes he had ever seen up close. They almost looked fake. Her dark hair and tanned skin made her look Mediterranean. She stood out among the bleached blondes and suspect red-heads in the bunch.

She held up her cell to him.

"The team list was just posted," she said. Her smile was genuine and Erik felt himself lighten up a bit.

"Ohmigosh, I'm with you guys!"

Maria gave a little jump. Why was she so excited about every little thing? She held her phone up to Erik. He took it from her hand and scanned the other names. He found Giselle listed with a design and innovations team. He wondered where she was staying in the complex. Why couldn't he be living with her? Or teamed up with her at the office?

Other interns began showing up at the pool and the noise level rose. He was about to excuse himself when he saw Giselle walking into the pool area with a big Swede named Roland. She was caught up in an intense convo with him, and when her eyes caught Erik's, she waved but kept right on talking to Roland.

"See you guys," Valentina said.

"Where you going?" he asked, curious to know her since they would be around each other for three months.

"The pool is heated," she said, "we're getting in."

"We should go get our swimsuits," Maria said clutching his arm. Erik watched Giselle pull off the shorts and shirt she had on revealing a red string bikini underneath that had heads turning.

"Bet," he said. He followed Maria back to the apartment. He threw on an old pair of OP trunks and grabbed a towel from the bathroom.

"Whoa," Maria said when she saw him. Her eyes flitted up and down his body, "You must work out...a lot," she said.

He saw her cheeks turn a little red. He looked at her green one piece. She had a cute shape although she slouched a bit like she was trying to hide her little round body. A swimsuit that worked with her curves instead of against them would probably help her confidence.

"Maybe I should forget the pool," she mumbled throwing her towel around her shoulders and covering most of her body.

"You suggested this, so now we're going," he said.

He headed toward the door and she hesitated following him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Now you wanna be shy all of sudden?"

"Look how you're built. Did you see Valentina's body? Giselle's?"

God yes, he saw their bodies, and he played it off like he didn't, looking hella slick while doing it too.

"Stop trippin' girl. You got a cute shape. Go show it off. Thick thighs save lives too."

Maria started laughing.

"Wait...you think I have a cute shape? You're not just saying that to be nice right? I shouldn't care because men always make women feel like shit if they don't meet some ridiculous beauty standard, but this is real life and I have to deal with this bullshit even if I don't want to."

"I'm not going to lie to you. You really do have a cute shape. Cute face too."

"Thank you. I do think you're lying, but if I walk out with you, they won't notice my frumpy—"

"Listen. If we are going to be on the same team, I can't be with someone who has no confidence. Fake it 'til you make it, Ma. C'mon. Don't be dragging me down with your poor self-image. I'm telling you...you look fine. Act like it or else stay in the apartment. My Nana always told me that a closed mouth don't get fed. So if you want to make a good impression, get out there, mix and mingle and stop worrying about how you look. Let these bitches know who they fuckin' with."

"Easy for you to say when you look like a Greek Adonis and have the brain of an Einstein."

"African Adonis. And better than Einstein. Get it right."

He opened the front door and he felt her rush behind him.

"I'm sticking with you if that's okay," she said.

"When have you not?" he said while locking their front door.

###

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5

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[sharethisgemwithme]

“Adventures in Light Distortion” instant reaction

[Written on January 8-9. I was blind to this episode and the whole remainder of the Bomb, with the exception of tiny leaks and Youtube screenshots. Comments related to those spoilers are footnotes, marked with [#].]

Oh man, what a title. You see, the emphasis makes all the difference. Is it light distortion, as in little itty-bitty lies? After the previous episode, what further lies would we be telling? Or is there really the chance the gems are going to tell half-truths to Dr. and Mr. M and bring *Connie* along on this mission?!? Please oh please. Or, since the gems are light constructs, is it light distortion, as in the bending of light rays and such. And "Adventures in"... as in plural? I mean, obviously, the gems are going to chase after Blue Diamond. Are we going right to Homeworld? Are we doing this, for real? 'Cause sign me the hell up. Now, the gems have a ship, and I am 99% sure Pearl knows how to fly it because Pearl knows how to fix, operate, drive, or fly anything she damn well wants to, so we're about to find out just what it's like when the Ruby ship goes zoooooom [1]. I don't remember which is third, "Gem Heist" or "The Zoo", but whenever we meet up with Greg again (presumably at the zoo), are there other types of aliens there? Are there other gems? [2]

I'm spacing out the episodes, not chomping them all down at once, to give myself time to think about them. However, only the first episode remains available on VOD, so I'm watching tonight's via DailyMotion (the first place I saw that has the entire episode available in one video). So timestamps are those of the DM video, which has the intro begin at 0:09. As always, though, I’m watching straight through with no pauses or rewinds.

0:09 - Time to find a way. 0:32 - Hilary and Lauren tonight. (they fixed the title card, this was a Raven & Paul episode) 0:42 - Aww, no more Amethyst ponytail. 0:49 - Oh man, Pearl's losing her shit quickly. 0:59 - "Turn into a chair. I need to sit down." Wow. 1:17 - "That might be it." The zoo. Oh boy. 1:31 - Steven's like "are you fucking kidding me? a human zoo." 1:45 - Digging this music btw. 2:03 - Pearl going cross-eyed. 2:19 - "We're not coming back without Greg." That didn't sound as intimidating as I expected. 2:35 - They already flew on this, it should be OK. 2:55 - Aww. "Protect Beach City." 3:09 - "Bending reality." 3:26 - Lapis looks utterly thrilled about protecting BC. 3:42 - We're just totally handwaving all the oxygen issues. 3:53 - "Space turbulence"? Oh come on. 4:12 - WHAT ARE THEY ALL DOING IN THE SAME PLACE? 4:19 - "We should really do something about them." Ya think? 4:35 - It doesn't work that way. BTW, Greg's 40. Note to self. 5:03 - That doesn't sound good. 5:14 - NOT A GOOD DECISION, STEVEN. Maybe brace yourself before someone else hits the button. 5:35 - LOLOLOLOLOLO OH BOY. 5:50 - Oh my god, this is like almost chibi-size. 6:06 - "In what way is this funny?" EVERY WAY. 6:30 - I guess that makes sense. 6:41 - But they shouldn't all be the same size, so that's not really gonna work. 7:04 - I guess we're gonna spend the whole episode en route. 7:13 - STOP JUST MASHING BUTTONS, DUDE. 7:26 - Oh good, a big red X. That's never a bad sign. 7:31 - OH THAT'S NOT A BAD SIGN AT ALL. They just poofed? 8:07 - You might wanna get out of warp speed now. 8:31 - You can do it! 8:55 - Oh boy. Don't do this to yourself, Steve-o. 9:14 - Don't you goddamn dare do this "future vision" thing to me, here. 9:40 - HEALING TEARS? streaming back towards the gems. 10:23 - I guess, uhh, that makes sense. "Don't think too much about it." Don't worry, I won't. 11:04 - Time for stuff to happen! Next time... 11:20 - So is this Homeworld? Or are we still not quite there?

INSTANT REACTION - So it was the distortion of light we were dealing with, and honestly that was the kind of... not quite body horror, but body manipulation certainly that we would expect from a Paul & Raven episode, not a Hilary & Lauren. [N.B. I read several days later that this was in fact actually a Paul/Raven episode, and the title card was incorrect, so that makes sense] I'm a little embarrassed that the idea of Peridot and/or Lapis coming along never even occurred to me, but they were written out of the arc anyway. Steven's conversation with Connie was pretty curious, though. I wonder what she was saying on the other end of the line, but I really think she wanted to come along (as much of an absolutely terrible idea as that would probably be). We got a little more conclusive timeline. Greg would be turning 110 in 70 years, ergo he's 40 now, so he was 26 when Steven was born. Since he's "known the gems since [he] was 22", that means he spent about four years courting Rose. I know that I said "healing tears" above, and I am realizing now after the fact that Steven doesn't have healing tears, but rather healing spit. However, there really did seem to be SOMETHING there in him crying about making all these mistakes, and his tears streaming to the back of the ship. I could've sworn some landed on the gems. Obviously, since I've only watched the episode once, and in real time, I can't be sure about that (or if any of the gems were actually cracked as Steven feared, but I doubt that). At 9:14, I was briefly afraid that, with Steven monologuing how he's made so many mistakes and why couldn't he just trust Garnet's warning and now he's lost everyone, we were going to have a future-vision fake-out and reset back to the stairs outside the beach house, 4 minutes into "Dream". I would've been fucking PISSED if that had happened (side note: I've read a number of fan theories/jokes about how the last scene of the whole series is going to be Rose asking Garnet whether she should go to some concert on the beach, and that the entire series has been Garnet's future vision of what will happen if she does. It's cute, but entirely violates what little we do know about future vision), because it would've wiped away an entire episode, taken away Steven's agency to make his own decisions, and just been a fucking hack move. I'm glad that wasn't the case. I've said in the past that realistic astrophyics was never a strong point of this show, starting from the illogical gravity in "Laser Light Cannon", but I'm STILL peeved at the stereotypical asteroid belt (and though I'm amused at the trio of Rubies--I saw the first one was Navy, didn't catch who the other two were--there's no way they should all be together). That said, I appreciated the metaphorical dropkick they delivered to faster-than-light travel ("Don't think too much about it.")

SECOND WATCH THOUGHTS: Pearl's side-eye at "Back when I still served... Homeworld." WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, WOMAN? Seriously, Connie had some plan to go with Steven, or at least to do something. It's a longshot, but I'm calling it now: we are going to hear from Connie somehow before this arc is over. Pudgy, ruby-shaped Pearl is adorable. I see the really huge setting on the Roaming Eye showed up on the slot-machine-looking display as ♦ ♦ ♦ OK, doesn't seem to be any structural issues for the gems at any point while warping. That whole segment is really trippy though. As someone with minor eye issues that occasionally lead to double vision when my eyes are out of focus, it was really disconcerting. I feel like Steven's monologue is one part addressed-to-kids "Hey, when stuff around you is going poorly, you can make some rash and desperate decisions, but please don't think the original stuff is also your fault" and one part actual plot set-up, but I can't make out what it is. Whoops on the Rubies; the first one was Doc, followed by Army and Navy. That leaves Leggy somewhere off in the distance.

[1] - one of the screencaps Youtube spoiled for me was titled "Traveling faster than the speed of light" or something like that, so, yeah I'm pretty sure we'll get to see that. [2] - via tumblr posts that didn't get immediately hidden, or the tags that remained, I know there are a bunch more gems to meet. I'm still hopeful that at least a few of the Youtube screencaps were fanart, but... we'll see.