#genuinely do not think im like . fundamentally capable of ever holding a 9 to 5 lmao i was not built to function in society

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ADHD is like

it is 9:00am.

I need to finish this stupid Task that I don't want to do, so to motivate myself to do it and some other things I need to do, I buy myself some Little Treats to eat over the course of the week. If I finish this Task I get to eat a Little Treat, and I should have enough time leftover to start another Task.

But the problem is that I know I can just eat the Little Treat now. Nothing is stopping me. In fact I can have as many Little Treats as I want. So I lock the Little Treat in a box.

But then I could just.. unlock the box and eat the Little Treat within. It is entirely within my power. In fact it would be less effort than doing the Task.

So I bury the box in my backyard, get a ladder to put the shovel on the roof, and build a second box to house the key that is programmed with an artificial intelligence that will only release the key to me after I have proven to it that I have completed the Task, all in order to make it sufficiently inconvenient for me to simply eat the treat.

it is 8:00pm.

I have spent more effort arranging the Little Treat Reward Mechanism than just doing the Task would have ever required. I give up and break open the key box and retrieve the Little Treat and just tell myself I will at least eat it a small piece at a time to keep up motivation while doing The Task.

5 minutes later it is 1:00 am.

I lost track of what I was doing and ate all the Little Treats without realizing. At some point I did the dishes, built a functional rendition of the Prague Astronomical Clock in Minecraft, decided I will learn to play the bongos, rearranged my bookshelves by genre and author, began a painting I will never finish, wrote to my state representative, fixed the motor in my sewing machine, signed myself up for an online course in R programming, and got back in touch with my estranged aunt. The Task is 10% finished. I won't get anything done tomorrow if I don't get any sleep, so I give up and go to bed.

It is 9:00 am.

I need to finish two stupid Tasks and I am out of Little Treats.