#genuinely still beside myself at the fact that he turns 60 in 3 weeks. like. i’m…. upset????? God

[the-mighty-het-speaks]

[theboywiththepinkfloralpurse]

134 questions

1: Name - Joel 2: Age - 18 (19 in June) 3: 3 Fears - being alone, not making anything of myself, and bugs lol 4: 3 things I love - My Sweet and Wonderful Boyfriend, music and making music, chocolate 5: 4 turns on - the back of my neck, it's really sensitive… when the other person takes control… that's all you get for now ;) 6: 4 turns off - biting, roughness lol, uncomfortable positions, boobs (lol) 7: My best friend - Sterling 8: Sexual orientation - Gay (duh XD) 9: My best first date - pizza place with my current boyfriend 10: How tall am I - 5’6” 11: What do I miss - my boyfriend. And music camp tbh 12: What time was I born - not sure… the afternoon maybe? 13: Favorite color - Teal 14: Do I have a crush - very much so 15: Favorite quote - not my favorite but I love it cuz it's hilarious “...the people that put the chemicals in the water that turned the friggin frogs gay!” - Alex Jones 16: Favorite place - Sterling's house (and now anywhere with my boyfriend :) 17: Favorite food - Mac n’ cheese. Also chicken 18: Do I use sarcasm - nooooooo I neeeeever eeeeeeever use sarcasm (lol) 19: What am I listening to right now - my Mom has some cringey Christian radio station on... 20: First thing I notice in a new person - kindness 21: Shoe size - 10 (12 women's XD) 22: Eye color - blue 23: Hair color - dirty blonde 24: Favorite style of clothing - sweaters with or without buttons, clothes with buttons in general. Fall clothes 25: Ever done a prank call? - once… it was so cringey but he actually fell for it

27: Meaning behind my URL - theboywiththepinkfloralpurse was my first blog where I really needed someplace to make venting emotional posts and I'd just gotten a tacky pink purse with flowers lol. a-random-gay-bunny is pretty self explanatory lol 28: Favorite movie - ahhhhhh I'm so bad at picking favorites for most things…. I do really like V for Vendetta tho. Seen it many times, and the entire X-Men series. 29: Favorite song - too many to pick… 30: Favorite band - except this… I can say for sure it's Pentatonix. I've seen them in concert twice, I love them so much 31: How I feel right now - happy, but I wanna hold my boyfriend and kiss him 32: Someone I love - My boyfriend John 33: My current relationship status - very taken <3 34: My relationship with my parents - much better than a couple years ago, still a little rocky but pretty good 35: Favorite holiday - probably Christmas 36: Tattoos and piercing I have - none 37: Tattoos and piercing I want - I'm not sure, but I would like a tattoo or a few one day 38: The reason I joined Tumblr - to vent my feelings to the void lol 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - don't have one 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - everyday :) <3 41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? - this question is weird lol, but John's the last person I texted and the only person I've kissed :) 42: When did I last hold hands? - yesterday 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - depends, I can get ready really quickly if need be though 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope. Last I shaved was a week ago I think 45: Where am I right now? - at home on my couch 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - either Sterling, John or both, but I don't plan on getting drunk ever. I guess it could happen but probably won't be drinking in the future 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - both, usually slightly loud though 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yeah… hopefully not for too much longer 49: Am I excited for anything? - seeing my boyfriend on Saturday, and going to camp in 52 days, and hopefully passing my driver's test in 107 days. 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - sort of? I feel like I can tell Tabby everything 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not too often, only in situations where I feel uncomfortable but feel I need to smile. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - couple of hours ago 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I'd be vereh sad and I'd want to know why. But he wouldn't do that :) 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - I'm a really trusting person so probably 55: What is something I disliked about today? - I couldn't see my boyfriend and kiss his cute face 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - uhhh… I dunno… maybe Tyler Oakley cuz I bet that would be really fun 57: What do I think about most? - heehee, my boyfriend. And also getting a job and figuring out plans for things, always running through plans in my head. 58: What’s my strangest talent? - I'm not sure, but the fact I can sing so low and so high is a pretty strange talent I guess 59: Do I have any strange phobias? - I'm very afraid of getting water in my eyes 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind it 61: What was the last lie I told? - I told my Mom I understood when she told me that my having a boyfriend is very difficult and awkward for her. I really don't understand 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - definitely on the phone, but before my boyfriend I would've said neither 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I'd like to believe in aliens, but I dunno. As for ghosts I don't believe in them at all really. 64: Do I believe in magic? - kind of? I think people can and have been able to connect with demons and been controlled by them. I don't think it really happens today much anymore. I think it might tho? 65: Do I believe in luck? - not really, sort of in a cutesy way tho 66: What's the weather like right now? - slightly cloudy, but the sun has mostly set anyway 67: What was the last book I've read? - all the way through? Animal Farm. The last book I opened and read from was a book Sterling gave me. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Oh god no, do some people like that smell? 69: Do I have any nicknames? Dork, pianoman (from this strange sports camp where everyone had a nickname) 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - had a car hood slam on a couple fingers, they didn't break tho surprisingly. Never had a broken bone 71: Do I spend money or save it? - spend… I shouldn't, I need to make money so I can start saving 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - just barely the bottom of my nose 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes, my old pink purse and probably some other stuff 74: Favorite animal? - besides cats and bunnies, red pandas 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - talking to bae 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - I don't think he has one? Strange question lol 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - you'll be in my heart by Phil Collins 78: How can you win my heart? - genuinely caring about me :) 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - Here lies the gayest gay to ever gay 80: What is my favorite word? - maybe bitch lol 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - a bunch of furry blogs lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - …..hi?... anybody wanna give me free money and help me see my boyfriend more?.... 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no. Unless I have distant relatives in jail 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - teleportation 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - not many, but one is “have you cheated on school assignments” 86: What is my current desktop picture? - my cat Loki 87: Had sex? - nope 88: Bought condoms? - nope 89: Gotten pregnant? - NOPE XD 90: Failed a class? - no 91: Kissed a boy? - yee 92: Kissed a girl? - nononono 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - not yet ;) 94: Had job? - not yet :( 95: Left the house without my wallet? - plenty of times lol 96: Bullied someone on the internet? - maybe? When I was like 13/14 I might've, but not really, I made cringey YouTube comments. 97: Had sex in public? - nope lol 98: Played on a sports team? - nope 99: Smoked weed? - nope 100: Did drugs? - nope 101: Smoked cigarettes? - nope 102: Drank alcohol? - nope 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope 104: Been overweight? - nope 105: Been underweight? - ...yeah 106: Been to a wedding? - many… many 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - HA plenty of times XD 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - probably 109: Been outside my home country? - no 110: Gotten my heart broken? - yeah 111: Been to a professional sports game? - actually yeah… it was boring 112: Broken a bone? - nope 113: Cut myself? - no, I considered once but immediately decided against it because I know someone close to me who did 114: Been to prom? - nope 115: Been in airplane? - a few times 116: Fly by helicopter? - nope 117: What concerts have I been to? - Oh lots, a bunch of em were when I had a scholarship that allowed me to see concerts for free 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - plenty lol, better question would be had a crush on the opposite sex. Which the answer would be… once 119: Learned another language? - sorta? Not fluently no lol 120: Wore make up? - nope, I don't like stuff on my face like face paints and makeup and stuff 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - nope 122: Had oral sex? - nope 123: Dyed my hair? - no, but I want to someday. Like a fun color 124: Voted in a presidential election? - yeah 125: Rode in an ambulance? - nope 126: Had a surgery? - nope 127: Met someone famous? - kinda! 128: Stalked someone on a social network? - a few times... 129: Peed outside? - yeah, hasn't everybody at least once? Right? 130: Been fishing? - once… super boring 131: Helped with charity? - not yet, can't afford to yet lol 132: Been rejected by a crush? - once 133: Broken a mirror? - don't think so 134: What do I want for birthday? - always a difficult question. But definitely want to see my boyfriend :)

[nightsnaps]

All 117 for the latest questions post you shared! ^~^

this took me awhile & has been sitting in my drafts HAHAH full answer under the cut

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I’m confused bc this guy I’m crushing on keeps sending me mixed signals

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? sometimes from my mom. lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? I would never have an SO who smoked pot so if they picked it up, I can definitely say I would care. 

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? YES. perhaps too easy? I always end up getting myself into trouble because I trust other people haha

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Studying for a linguistics morphology quiz. 

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? probably my best friend Nicki

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? depends on the situation… 

8: Are you close with your dad? YES he’s one of my best friends

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? HAHAHA no

10: What are you listening to? my roommate folding laundry & miscellaneous late afternoon sounds outside

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? green tea

12: Do you like hickeys? not particularly. If your only skill is sucking on my skin, you need to branch out lol

13: What time do you go to bed? normally around 11:30

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? myself

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? nope. my right hand is faster but still not AS fast

16: Do you always answer your texts? I try to 

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? not at all, even though I broke up with him. He was one of the greatest blessings. 

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? today

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? I am blessed to say many people!

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I was probably thinking about linguistics tbh

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? my roommate erika & my other roommate molly

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? in some form or another

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? about the same, i think. I’m generally a pretty content person. 

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? my high school ex

25: In the past week, have you cried? probably. I cry so much hahaha

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? gray

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? sometimes bc my first name is so popular

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? mmmmm… one of my exes. he sucks. good riddance. 

29: Do you have a best friend? yes 

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? well it’s already happened & it’s chill so i guess not

31: Who was your last call/text message from? my friend emily

32: Are you mad at anyone? myself for my lack of focus

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? ¾ people I’ve kissed have been older, yes. 

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 22. But he just turned 21 last week. so

35: How many more days until your birthday? 334 days until I can legally consume alcohol WHATTUP

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Yes! I’m a lead counselor at a theater camp. Also probably two other jobs besides that bc I have zero chill

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? many! & I love them

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Nope. I’m not a very secretive person at all. 

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? I don’t think so

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? After the fact but never at the time

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? I think you can’t have a mature relationship until you’ve grown up a lot, but that happens at a different age for everybody

42: Are you available? physically, yes. but I am really enjoying being single so maybe not emotionally right now haha

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 3

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? nothing. I don’t even have my ears pierced lol 

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? absolutely, although in order for that to happen there had to be some basis of friendship before the relationship started. 

46: Do you regret anything? Sometimes I jump to conclusions and make decisions off of my emotions rather than logic, and there have been times where I’ve hurt people because of that. So I regret those times.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Who I’m going to go with to formal haha

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? We’ve certainly drifted apart, but I think every one of my best friends & I are still on speaking terms & I know I could call them up anytime if I needed them. I hope the feeling’s mutual

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? nope but it having been 5 months since it happened is driving me crazy lol

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Because I need to find a person to like first HAHA but also bc my crush never hit like level... so it’s fading slightly. also he’s not interested, as far as I can tell. 

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? has he ever seen me not cry is the question

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? I can, but I usually don’t. He has a new girlfriend

53: What was the last thing you ate? a smoked salmon bagel

54: Did you get any compliments today? not yet but the day is young. lol

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? Yosemite national park

56: Do you own anything from other countries? I have a lot of Mexican Blankets, a scarf from London, postcards from Tasmania & Spain, a sweatshirt from Canada. Probably some other things idk

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? A good mix of both

58: Where have you lived most of your life? California

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? my last roadtrip down to school about a month ago

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? no but I would if it was people who weren’t awkward hahaha

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? only a thousand times HAHA

62: Who do you text the most? probably my friends courtney, emily, or my mom

63: What was the last movie you saw? How to lose a guy in 10 days

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? nothing bc I don’t have one hahaha

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? a grand total of 0

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? no

67: Do you curse around your parents? if I feel like it. we have a very open relationship

68: Are you happy with where you live? for the most part. I want to travel though

69: Picture of yourself? check out my tagged/me tag

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? monogamous

71: Have you ever been dumped? no

72: What do you most like about making out? someone’s hands all over me. kissing is fun but I just like the closeness even more

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? ...... well. yes. 

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? it’s always mutual or the other initiating 

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? a nice smile

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? my friend Gabe

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? no

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? no

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? quick wit, handsome boys playing with kids, handsome boys playing with PUPPIES

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? probably not

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? yes

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? depends on how deep I’m in lol

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? I miss having him as my buddy but not as my boyfriend

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? last month

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? no

86: How can I win your heart? by being completely & unapologetically yourself & by not playing games with me

87: What is your astrological sign? capricorn but I identify 100% with gemini 

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? dutch blitz tournament

89: Do you cook? when I have the time

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? back in touch yes, back together no

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? I don’t really. I get wistful when I see other couples sometimes but wholly I’m very happy on my own 

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I’m a serial monogamist but I wouldn’t mind dating casually, I think. Boys are sometimes just too chicken to go for it haha

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? funny, genuine, intelligent, adventurous, honest, Christian

94: Name four things that you wish you had! flawless skin, a million dollars, a golden retriever puppy, a beach house

95: Are you a player? I enjoy flirting but I don’t play with people’s feelings, I don’t think anyway

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Nope

97: Are you a tease? depends who you ask lol

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? no, although I am mutuals with a lot of my real-life buddies 

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? I don’t know. probably not, if I don’t know. hahaha

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? sure

101: Hugs or Kisses? hugs

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? If I’m really invested in the outcome then yes but if it’s casual then I don’t care

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? their eyes, teeth, and skin

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? yes but not baby. gag

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? no. if I did & we started dating, who’s to say they wouldn’t do exactly the same thing to me? 

106: Do you flirt a lot? guilty as charged

107: Your last kiss? sometime in August 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? no

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? no

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Logan Lerman 

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? nope

112: Does someone like you currently? maybe

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? crushy feelings sure, deep sustaining romantic feelings no

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? relationships probably

115: Ever made out with just a friend? yes

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I will be happy with whatever I’m doing at the time! I’m enjoying being single rn because I haven’t been single for more than a total of 6 months since I started dating 4 years ago so this has been good for me haha

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it. well danny you didn’t write me a question so here we are 

[lettersforyoulettersforme]

Post 1

July 15, 2017

Here it is! The first of a series of daily posts that I’ll be doing for 30 whole days. Inspired by my lovely friend Matt Ross’ blog on his website. Just as a way to check in with myself and hold myself accountable. I journal a fair amount, usually every day or at least 3-4 times a week. But this will be different. I’m going to be writing about various themes or ideas… I’m giving myself prompts and seeing where it goes. A big part of this is going to be letting go of expectations that I may have. I don’t need to create anything worthwhile or gorgeous or earth shattering. I want to write and let myself think out loud.

So with that in mind, I’m going to be talking a little bit about “sangha,” the Buddhist term for community. I’m stealing this idea from Matt’s blog but I figured it was a great place to start. Because community is something that I have always tried hard to create for myself. And I’m someone who has always existed in various communities, having multiple friend groups or jobs or volunteer activities, etc. This August, it will be two years since I have moved to Washington, DC. It feels like much more than 2 years. I’ve had a series of romantic relationships here, held a job for the longest period of time, started graduate school, become financially independent from my parents, gotten significantly closer with my sister who lives here, fell in love, moved into 2 different apartments, and met a shit ton of new people. Most of those people are from work but some are from volunteering experiences or from my grad school classes. One of them is my boyfriend and then some of them are my boyfriend’s co-workers who I adore. These various people shape my community and help me feel at home.

Speaking of home, Hayley is coming to visit for the weekend!! I’m so happy that she’ll be here in like 2 hours and we’ll have days and days to just hang the fuck out and chill and catch up. I remember when I first moved here, I was living in a studio apartment that I found on Craigslist. It was completely furnished and it just didn’t quite feel like it was mine. I stepped off the plane from Greece and I was in NYC for 2 days before I took the train to DC. And then that was that, I was here and it was a whirlwind. I had two job interviews and I learned how to take the bus to and fro and that was that. I wasn’t exactly settled, but it was my home. I loved having the space to myself but living in a 400 square foot box filled with some stranger’s stuff isn’t the warmest welcome. Hayley and I would FaceTime for literally hours at a time. I was so lonely, I listened to podcasts constantly just to hear someone talking. I watched a lot of TV. I wasn’t depressed exactly, but I couldn’t run away to Greece any more and ignore my issues. I had just graduated from college and I was scared. I had a Bachelor of Music that I knew I wasn’t going to use and I felt stuck. A fresh start was the only thing that I had so I really tried to make the most of it. I met Isabella at my orientation for my waitressing job and she was truly my first friend here! I had my sister but I do love Isabella for introducing me to the vegan food DC has to offer and for making me feel like I had someone to call besides my little sister. Isabella is, in fact, my sister’s age. She was a sophomore in college when we met, so she had this youthful perspective that I loved. In hindsight, I think our friendship was so precious because she made me feel like I was still in college. But then it became glaringly obvious that I was NOT in college any longer and things began to clash and fray. But more on that later. Honestly, I’m so lucky to have met someone who I genuinely liked right off the bat. Every time I go to certain places here- Tryst, that Indian food place in Adams Morgan, Sticky Fingers- I think of Isabella and the gentle way in which she led me through DC. All of the long walks we took, the picnics in Rock Creek Park. She showed me how beautiful this city really and truly is when I just wanted to go any place other than NY.

And then there was Donald’s brother. Who was the only other person I knew when I moved here. If I am honest with myself right now, I really liked him. I didn’t move here for him, but I did really like him. And I wanted to date him. The sex was great and I thought that if we lived in the same city, we could have a chance to really get to know each other. I remember that he was in Iceland when I first arrived so I had several weeks to settle in before we actually met up. I think that I went to a movie with Dylan and his friends. Not a movie exactly but a series of short films? Which in hindsight is so artsy and I loved the movies. We went to Shake Shack afterwards and I remember thinking his friends were these bros and I just wanted to be alone with him. We decided to get a drink somewhere in Chinatown and it was readily apparent that we were gonna sleep together. It’s funny how important each and every detail was to me at the time because I barely even remember it now. I think we went back to my apartment? And I was so embarrassed because it was a shit hole and I had been to his beautiful palace of an apartment before. That’s just the thing, I was so embarrassed to be my imperfect self around Dylan. I could never just be myself and that was clearly problematic.

We dated/ hung out/ fucked/ whatever you wanna call it for close to 3 months. I tried my best to keep it casual, but it was hard. That’s not my style if I really like someone. And it’s hard to play it cool and be busy when you have so few friends haha. My therapist, someone I started seeing like a week after I moved here, hated him. She made no attempt to hide that. Karen, who I have since stopped seeing, was this mid to late 60 year old woman with GIANT tits who had a cane. It was a lot. Her sessions were a lot, she was super opinionated and taught me exactly how I don’t want to be as a therapist. She was pushy and judgy and yeah, it didn’t work out. It was hard because she’s a sweet lady and she meant well. But she was always telling me to wear a condom otherwise I would get AIDS (I swear to God). She never let me forget the one time that I was going to cook Dylan and I dinner. I had bought us nice steaks from Whole Foods and we were gonna cook at his home. He was running late from work and long story, I ended up waiting 3 hours outside of his apartment for him to get there. He was apologetic but I was beyond done. At least for the evening. I walked the 30 minute walk home and cooked myself one of those delicious filets. Dylan never got to experience my steak making skills but that is something that I learned here in DC: you should never have to wait for anyone else. And that steak is best prepared when broiled.

I feel like I’m straying away from my topic of community, so I’m gonna try to get back to that. And now I’m lost my train of thought… stupid Instagram feed.

I do spend a lot of time thinking about community. For so long it was the community of New York or NYU Steinhardt or Hayley, Josh, Donald and myself. Or just the community/ cradle of school to keep you safe from judging your current life situation. I didn’t realize how lost I would feel after college. I’m not as lost as some people I know- not to name names or compare- but I know it could be worse. I know that I’ve build myself a community here. I have a friend who I go to the farmers’ market with every Saturday and we go for long shady sidewalk walks and talk about work and ambition and sex. It’s wonderful and I feel like this adult who has something she didn’t have before. She has something that Mommy and Daddy didn’t give her, she sat at her pottery wheel and she made it herself. It’s wonky and wombly and sometimes ugly in certain lights, but I made it! And that’s how I feel about this community I have here in DC. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all of the plans I have with my friends and then sometimes I feel like I have no one and I love that. I just spent all of last night zoned out watching a new Netfflix show. I made myself pasta and I even made my own alfredo sauce. I took a luxurious shower and read my book. I woke up at 5 AM and I was startled and my light was still on. I got up to turn it off and I realized how at home I am here. I am my own community as well as the rings of people around me and I love knowing that. I never felt that in NYC. I tried hard to stand on my own but it was a laborious task. Here in DC, life moves in waves and it’s much easier to not be caught up in everything that is so superficial.

So yeah. Here’s to making the most from the city and the people around you. And to realizing that I am enough of my own community to bring a warm light and ceaseless joy anywhere I go.