#getting blocked for not having the mental sturdiness to educate myself on trans issues
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#ik that ive come some ways and had some sobs since the whole#getting blocked for not having the mental sturdiness to educate myself on trans issues#ordeal#but goddamn it#if im not still skipping the hole trans/transition/theo storyline in sabrina because im#honestly just trying to get by and every time i#look too closely it shakes the ground on which im standing and im not#made to be a revolutionary im just trying to get by#and by and by and by#i spent so much time grieving who i wouldn't be and chipping away the things that didn't fit there's just not enough#left of me to start over. theres not enough#material to work with to melt into something else to withstand friction and to come out recognizable#as a person i mean#and all of that work would be for nothing. my world isn't made for people like me#and i built my entire life on being no one and dying quiet.#and you cant just. take someone's future away like that.
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