#gifs by makeuhwa

[makeuhwa]

mark tuan and ig filters

[jalapeno-princess]

Last Night

(There were many more gifs that matched this story but just him licking his fingers did so many things to my heart) (and my vagina)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 10.2K

Genre: Angst (toxic relationship, communication problems, Mark being an asshole) smut (brief description I was too lazy to go in to depth) tiny bit of fluff in the end

Summary: The relationship you had with Mark was hard to explain. What started off as the most beautiful relationship you could ever imagine yourself being apart of turned in to nothing but sex and it came to a point where you could no longer stay with someone who’s heart was no longer in it. You told yourself you were done with Mark Tuan completely, but what happens when he shows up to your door three weeks after you tell him it’s over, asking for you to give him one last chance?

A/N: Hey guys! Well that was fast hahaha, I told y’all I can’t stay away from writing no matter how hard I try! This is based on the song “La Noche De Anoche” by Bad Bunny and Rosalia which when I first heard it, I assumed it was a break up song (I do not speak a word of Spanish unfortunately) but when I researched the lyrics, it was actually very sexual so here we are. I feel as though my writing isn’t all that great with this story, I tried my best and it’s very repetitive but eh, it’s whatever. Please enjoy and happy reading! (BTW, I’ve read all your comments on my last post and I just want to say you are all so amazing I actually cried special shoutout to some of my favorite people ever @makeuhwa @solarblooms @ohmysugarclouds @strawberryogeurteu @yup-indecisive-girl-cece y’all deserve the entire world and more I love you all so much!!!!!!)

I know that this won't happen again But if it happens again, I know what would be your weakness Because last night was Something that I can't explain Alone, giving it and giving it without stopping  You told me you'd die for me Because last night was  Something that I can't explain  That was giving it and giving it without stopping You on top of me, me on top of you  Eh, eh You left my body hot, hell But you left my heart cold, winter Dreaming I'm with you is when I sleep  Tell me, papi Tell me, mami Who is erasing that night? You kissed me and my hat fell off Without lots of sweet-talk, without lots of sweet-talk When I'm with you I let the vibe go And let thе moon supervise us With that sweet mouth, evеrything you tell me is delicious We did positions that I, mami, I never did You got wet so that I'd baptize myself And that I'd get serious, serious You and I together creating an empire Those eyes have a mystery But in the end, nothing of ours was serious

MT: “Can you come over tonight?” 9:47 P.M.

You stared at the text message for a few minutes, debating on what your response should be. 

No. 

That was your initial reaction—especially after how things ended the last time you were with him. It’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen Mark and if you remembered correctly, you left his apartment with your hair disheveled, your clothes a wrinkled mess and a pleasurable soreness in between your thighs—right as you both came down from your highs, you wasted no time in putting on your sweatpants and t-shirt; telling him that you could no longer continue to put yourself through the heartbreak that came with allowing him to take advantage of you. 

Deep down, you knew in that moment that whatever it was going on between you and Mark was over. Or at least, that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself in to thinking. Staying away from him for more than a day was already torture; you loved spending as much time as you possibly could with him—or at least you used to. 

You were happiest whenever you’d get to be with Mark. But that was before your relationship became as complicated as it currently was. Now, you wanted nothing else to do with him. These last three weeks felt like an entire year—it went by painstakingly slow and you felt extremely pathetic knowing that his absence was having such a negative effect on your mental and physical health. 

You were miserable not having him in your life anymore and what hurt worse was that he didn’t even try to chase after you once you confessed everything that was weighing heavy on your heart. It wasn’t like you wanted to leave. No. You planned on staying the night like you did every single time you found yourself writhing underneath him. 

Nights like those were reoccurring; he would text you either that morning or sometime between eight and ten in the evening—asking you if you wanted to come over. You would. Whenever he called for you, you’d always come running without hesitation. Every. Single. Time. You could be out with friends, or you’d be staying back at work, finishing an important project and you would drop everything to go and be with him. 

Mark must have had a sixth sense—he had to be aware of how willing you were to practically drop whatever it was that you were doing in that moment just so you could tumble in to bed with him. After a while though, you were getting used to not having him in your life. Sure, there were days that you missed him—well, you missed him and thought about him every single day but some days were better than others. 

Unfortunately, when the bad days came—and there were quite a few bad days, you would have a pity party for yourself consisting of ice cream and alcohol. He never left your mind once; you couldn’t stop wondering how he was doing, if he regrets letting you go, if he was missing you and thinking about you the way you constantly were with him. What made him reach out to you tonight? What did he think was going to happen? You cut all ties with him; did he think you were going to run back to him with open arms, acting as though nothing was wrong? 

Well, you couldn’t blame him for thinking like that. If ever Mark did something to upset you, you’d stay away from him for a couple of days and he could never last for more than three days not being able to hold you, kiss you and just have you with him. It took you a while to come to the realization, but his feelings for you weren’t what they used to be. He no longer loved you in the ways that he fervently did a couple of months ago. You weren’t the love of his life anymore—the person he claimed was his soulmate. The person he claimed was made especially for him. You were just a place to put his penis in every now and then. 

Once you accepted that things were not ever going to go back to the way they used to be, you thought long and hard about what you were going to do about Mark. No matter how much you loved him and how his name was forever etched onto your heart like a tattoo, you could no longer handle the pain that came with not being as important to him as he was to you. You told yourself to ignore him; if you were to give in to him and respond, then it would interfere with your progress in moving on. 

But then again, you couldn’t help but feel as though something was wrong. Mark Tuan could get anyone he wanted. You were confident in the fact that he wasn’t going to wait around for you when there were girls that would practically throw themselves at him on a daily basis. He was a twenty-seven year old man who had his desires and needs. There was no way he went this long without sleeping with somebody—Mark was a nymphomaniac. 

The two of you had sex almost every single day, but you weren’t complaining. Sex with Mark was a wild and extraordinary experience. You’ve only been with two guys before him and you could honestly say that he was the best sex you’ve ever had. 

Not only was he a very generous lover; paying attention to your needs before his own, going down on you without hesitation, experimenting in any position you wanted to try out, allowing you to dominate him whenever you were in the mood—Mark’s sole purpose was making sure that you were having as much of a good time as he was. If only he cared for you during the times when he wasn’t buried deep in to your pussy—like he used to. 

God, you really missed him—or more so the person he used to be back when you could actually feel the passionate love he held for you. But you were going to stand your ground. Mark Tuan didn’t deserve you and these three weeks of being away from him gave you a chance to genuinely think the entire situation out. He’s never deserved you and you weren’t going to give him another chance at breaking you again.

You: “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I meant what I said when I told you I was done Mark.” 9:58 P.M.

MT: “You didn’t mean that, you were just mad. Besides, you would have completely ignored my message if we were over. You miss me just as much as I miss you. Who are you trying to fool y/n? Come on, I need you. Please.” 10:00 P.M.

You weren’t going to lie, he had a point. If you no longer wanted anything to do with him and if you really wanted to cut all ties with him, you would have deleted his contact from out of your phone. His message would have been disregarded and the thought of him would be erased from your mind—yet here you were, allowing him back in and giving him the chance to take advantage of you again. 

Did you not have any ounce of self respect? You knew you deserved so much better than Mark, so much better. But you didn’t want better. You didn’t want someone you knew would give you the relationship you so badly desired. Someone who would give you the entire world and more on a silver platter. Someone who would call you and check up on you to see how you were doing. Someone who genuinely cared about you as a person and not just a body they benefit from. 

At one point in your relationship with him, Mark was everything you could have wanted in a significant other and more. So much more. It shocked you just how much of a caring, doting and adoring boyfriend he was. You didn’t think someone was capable of loving another person the way Mark loved you. Where did it all go wrong? 

When did love—the kind of love that consumed someone like an ocean and drowned them in the waves—the kind of love that was as fierce as a wildfire, never ending and setting your entire body in to flames—when did it all disappear? When did the love he had for you turn in to nothing but lust and sexual desire? Was it something you did? Something you said? When did Mark come to the realization that you were no longer worthy of his love and adoration for you? When did he decide your relationship was no longer worth fighting for?

You: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t miss me. You miss the sex—you miss fucking me. I poured my fucking heart out to you that night and you brushed me off like it was nothing. You made me feel like I was nothing and it hurt like hell Mark. Go find someone else to get your dick wet because it’s not going to be me.” 10:08 P.M.

If he were to send this message in the same week that you walked out of his life permanently, then no doubt would you have gone running straight in to his arms, allowing him to take you in whatever way he wanted to have you. You were sadistic—a masochist. It’s as if you got off on the high that being used and cheated by the man you loved the most gave you. Stockholm syndrome. That was the only plausible reason why you continuously allowed him to treat you the way he’s been for months. 

That’s the only reason why you kept giving and giving until you literally had nothing left to give. In a sense, he was holding you captive. If Mark was a compassionate person, he would have let you go. He would have let you try and find better than him. You were well aware that he wasn’t stupid; he had to know that you would never leave him completely unless he gave up on you. You couldn’t stop him from not wanting you in his life it it came down to that—the ball was in his court. It always has been. 

That’s why he was contacting you now. He must’ve known that even if you told him you never wanted to see him ever again, every world of anger and bitterness that fell from your lips was just a way to hide how you were actually feeling. You refused to make it known that the way he’s been taking advantage of your kindness and generosity was bothering you. He didn’t have the right to know nor was he ever going to. Not if you were going to do something about it. 

Reading that he missed you though—it tugged on your heartstrings. Your head was spinning and you felt like throwing up. There was no way that man missed you. No. It’s been three weeks. No text. No call. No voicemail. Nothing. Did he really play you out to be a fool? What did he expect? For you to pretend like these last few weeks weren’t ruining you entirely? Like his absence wasn’t the reason you were crying every single day and that you were literally minutes away from a panic attack? Who did he think he was? 

This was unfair. He was well aware that he could do this to you and get what he wanted in the end. Mark Tuan was really the scum of this earth. He had to hate you, there was no other explanation. How could someone be okay with hurting another person that gave them everything they had to offer and loved them with every fiber of their being? You waited for his response; you were curious as to how he would respond to that. 

Would he confirm that he was only reaching out to you to get his dick sucked? That’s what you wholeheartedly believed was his reason for finally getting in contact with you. It surprised you that he took this long, but then again—you wouldn’t be surprised if you were to find out that someone else was taking your place in pleasuring him. Then again—if there was someone else, wouldn’t he have just reached out to them? 

The thought of him fucking another woman made your skin crawl. He was not your boyfriend anymore, but your stomach churned as you pictured him touching someone who wasn’t you. However, he wasn’t yours to worry about or get jealous over anymore. He made that decision on his own when he detached himself from you all but physically. 

Sure, he continued to give you his body, but his mind, his heart and his whole being was no longer yours. After fifteen minutes, you accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to respond. Maybe you weren’t worth the time and effort to fight over. You were probably right. He wanted sex and since you made it known that you were not the same pushover you used to be—tending to his beck and call, he wasn’t going to try knowing you weren’t going to give in when you were sure he probably had women lined up to give themselves to him without hesitation. 

You began to clean your kitchen and put away some of the dishes as an attempt to take your mind off of what had just happened when you heard a knock at the door. Just the knock alone made it obvious as to who was behind the door. He’s been over to your place one too many times in the duration of your year long relationship, so it didn’t take a genius to know that it was in fact Mark knocking. Especially because he texted you not too long ago, but what was he doing there? 

To say you were nervous had to be the understatement of the year. You were terrified beyond belief—but that was because you knew Mark better than anyone else, and you knew yourself. Once you were to open that door, there was no fighting him or the feelings you so strongly held for him. You would be putty in his hands. You could put up as big of a fight as you possibly could—you could tell him to leave and even threaten him with calling the cops, you could tell him that you had someone over or you could just pretend like you were already asleep. 

It sounded so simple, but just like you, Mark has known you for quite some time now and this meant that he was well accustomed with your character and personality. He might no longer have cared about you for anything other than what you could do for him behind closed doors, but you were certain that he still remembered the little things about you. 

“Y/n, I know you’re in there and I know you’re not sleeping. Open up. We need to talk.” 

You scoffed and mentally cursed him for actually coming over. You already told him no—what made him think seeing you in person was going to change how you felt? He could say whatever he felt was going to get you to open the door, but you weren’t going to give in that easily. Honestly, you were planning on staying silent and just waiting for however long it took until he grew tired of staying outside. You meant serious business this time—or at least that’s why you kept trying to convince yourself. 

“Y/n—come on. I’m serious. Don’t—please don’t let this be it for us. Please. I need to see you. I’m so fucking sorry. I hope you know I plan on staying the entire night if I have to. I’ll do whatever I have to in order for you to open the door. I’ll knock all evening if that’s what it’ll take. I’ll scream and cry, I’ll even ring on this damn doorbell—“

“What do you want Mark? What are you doing here?” 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t know why you opened the door. There were so many red flags going off in your mind while a tiny voice in your head was begging you to ignore him. He wasn’t your problem to begin with anymore. If your neighbors were to complain about the noise, than he’d have to deal with the police and he’d be out of your hair in no time. Yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be evil—you didn’t want to cause him any harm or be the reasoning behind his suffering. 

That wasn’t the type of person you were no matter how badly you wanted to hurt him the way he hurt you. You wanted him to cry over you. You wanted him to realize the hell he’s been putting you through in the last few weeks. However, you had a feeling it wouldn’t bother him as much as it currently was bothering you. Men were never as emotionally involved in relationships as women were. 

He probably didn’t even think about you once since you stormed out that night, so you needed to be strong and get him out of there quickly. You needed to remind yourself; you deserved so much better than him even if all you really wanted was him. He would never and could never desire you and crave you in the ways that you so heavily did for him. 

You’d be asking for too much by wanting him to have even the smallest ounce of worry for you. Seeing him for the first time since you got everything off of your chest felt like a slap to the face. You felt as if you couldn’t breathe. It was suffocating—you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids at the sight of him in all his handsome glory. 

He was currently dressed up in one of the most lethal outfits a man could ever wear—gray sweatpants and a white tank top. He knew exactly what he was doing coming over dressed like that; especially because you were very vocal about how simple yet extremely sexy the pairing was and how he pulled it off so effortlessly. His hair was a little longer than it was three weeks ago. You told him you preferred his hair long for some reason and ever since then, he’s been growing it out. 

He claimed it was because the weather has been growing colder and that he didn’t have time to stop by the barber shop but deep down, you knew he did it in order to impress you. Plus, it was easier to grab handfuls of his soft locks as you found yourself riding him like the professional cowgirl you were. If he were to show up the day after you left, you probably would have pounced on him without even hearing a word he had to say. But now—now you were reminded of how he didn’t even try to hide his disinterest and lack of concern as your tears began to fall down your cheeks while you poured out your entire being to him and that gave you the boost of confidence you didn’t even know you were capable of. 

“I—um—I uh—um—“ 

He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. The many years you have known him for made it easy for you to pick up the meaning behind his ministrations. Whenever he’d draw his attention to the ground and bring his hand up to his nape, this meant that he was either shy, had no idea how to respond to something or he was embarrassed. 

Mark took on the dominant role in your relationship. He was the leader; you allowed him to control your entire relationship, but he wasn’t controlling nor was he mean, forceful or ever made you feel uncomfortable. If anything, he was very soft—he was kindhearted and gentle. He made sure that you were just as happy and content in your relationship as he was. 

However, you now regretted allowing him to have that power over you. Sure, he never took advantage of your generosity and vulnerability while the two of you were a couple, but when you changed from a comforting and romantic relationship to one strictly based on sex, you felt as though he couldn’t care less about what you did anymore and that’s when you realized you didn’t have the motivation or energy to stick around with someone who was completely void of any feelings for you. It was a one way relationship and you could no longer handle being the only person who was putting in the effort to keep your relationship going. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say—I have an idea of what you’re thinking and I know you told me not to come. I just—fuck. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry and I—I—“

“You what Mark? You’re here for the reasons I assumed you were? Sex. That’s all I’m ever good for huh? Someone to get your dick wet. Someone to suck you dry—an outlet to release all your pent up frustration? I’m sick and tired of your shit Mark. I’m sick and tired of the way that you’ve been treating me like I’m nothing but a good fuck. I’m a human being Mark! I have feelings too! Or did you forget that because the only person that matters to you is yourself. I meant it! I refuse to let you do this to me! I refuse to let you hurt me any more that you already did. I’m a shell of nothing! I used to be such a bright, bubbly, ray of fucking sunshine and you took that all away from me. You broke me—you ruined me beyond belief. Is that what you wanted? Are you happy? Whatever I did to you to make you hate me so much, I’m sorry. But I’m done. You don’t deserve me. You never did and you never will.” 

Your chest felt so much lighter now that you got out everything you wanted to say. There was so much more weighing heavy on your mind, but you were confident that he didn’t even care. You’d be wasting your time—hell, you wasted your time the minute you opened the door. You gave him the chance to apologize—to come back in to your life when you should have dead bolted the lock on the door of your past life with Mark once and for all. 

The silence that took over as soon as you finished your confession was genuinely suffocating. You refused to look up at him, if you did you were well aware of the chance that he’d be giving you a look of remorse. One that would make you feel sorry for him. A look that would have you on your knees with a snap of a finger. But you needed to stand your ground. You already gave him so many chances—enough was enough. 

“I don’t hate you—“

“That’s bullshit and you know it—“

“Y/n, I do not hate you. I never hated you. Get that mentality out of your head damnit—“

“Then why—why did you end us huh? Was it because I wasn’t good enough for you? All the girls who’d throw themselves at you—the girls with tinier waists, prettier faces, bigger asses and breasts—girls who would  come running to you at your beck and call? Girls who are easy and don’t care whether or not you use them for your own personal gain? You didn’t love me. You never loved me. I gave you everything—I gave you all of me and you took it like the greedy son of a bitch you are. Do you get some sort of sick high hurting other people? Does it add to your already huge ego? What do you get from manipulating me—“

“I let you go for your sake! Fuck—I was the one who wasn’t good enough for you and I could see what loving me was doing to you. You’re right—I ruined you and I’m so fucking sorry y/n. You don’t have to believe me. You probably think I’m saying these things just to get on your good side or to get you to feel sorry for me but I’m telling you the truth. It was hurting me, seeing you suffering because of the way I was treating you—what I was putting you through. I was never capable of loving someone or being loved by someone, but then you came in to my life and God, I wanted to be someone worthy of your love and affection. I tried so hard—I wanted to do the best I could to make you happy and to be a boyfriend you could be proud of, but I was just so fucking scared of getting hurt again. I’ve never told you this and it was because I didn’t want you to pity me nor did I want to make myself vulnerable but I’ve been hurt before. Before you—I was a player. I was hooking up with girls left and right for a while. Then I met my ex-girlfriend and I really thought she was the one. I adored her, I thought the world of her and I loved her. Or, at least I thought I did. It wasn’t until I came to terms with the fact that I was in love with you did I realize that I never loved her. We were together for almost five months and this was a year before you and I began dating. I found out she was sleeping with a friend of hers and I went crazy. I told myself that I would never allow someone to have that power over me—to hold so much of my trust—to make me feel like the only person in the entire world and then make me look like an idiot—“

You couldn’t help but let out a scoff of disbelief. If you were being honest with yourself, hearing him say that his ex-girlfriend broke his heart and led him in to being afraid of being in another relationship and trusting another person made your stomach sore. Mark had to be one of the most gentle human beings you have ever met. He couldn’t even hurt a fly—one time he accidentally stepped on a lizard and he cried for almost an entire hour. 

His heart had to be made of pure gold, he was just a wonderful human being. Well—used to be. You felt so sorry for the beautifully broken boy standing in front of you. He looked as though he was about to cry, his lip began to quiver and tears were starting to brim at his eyelids. Whether he was upset after his entire heartfelt confession about the love he held for you or because thinking of his unfaithful ex bothered him—you wanted to reach out to him and pull him in to a hug. 

Nobody deserved to get their heart broken, but Mark was the last person who anyone should have done such a ruthless thing to. This was the first time you have ever heard about his last relationship or any relationship he’s ever had but you just assumed he didn’t want to bring up that part of his life since it no longer existed. 

With the way he used to take such amazing care of you, you just assumed he did the same with his ex-girlfriend. Nobody was perfect, but Mark came pretty close and it made you curious as to how someone could let such an indescribably otherworldly being go. You wanted nothing more to find the girl who tore apart your sweet boy and cause her the same amount of pain she caused Mark—the same pain he was currently putting you through. 

However, why were you being punished for somebody else’s crime? Why was your chance at love being taken away from you because of another girl’s mistake? If Mark loved you like he claimed he did, why would he continue to torment you knowing exactly what his actions were doing to your mental state? 

“Look, I’m sorry she did that to you. I really am. I can imagine the large amount of trauma from being cheated on can cause—but that doesn’t mean you had the right to use me as a way to get over your pain and throw me aside when you realized you were allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. Did you just assumed I was going to do the same thing to you? Mark, we’ve been together for over an entire year—have I once ever made you question my feelings and loyalty towards you?”

“No, but—“

“I’ve told you I love you at least three times every single fucking day and I’m sure I’ve proved my love physically as much as I did verbally. I did everything I could to make you happy. I moved an entire fucking state to be closer to you. I left my friends and family back home, I left a job I was in love with and a loft that is much bigger than this fucking shoe box just so you and I could be together. I’ve loved you since the moment I realized I needed to be around you at all times. I never wanted anyone else. It was always you. Was my reassurance not good enough? Fuck—the fact that you told me you no longer wanted to continue our romantic relationship yet you had the nerve to ask me if we could still have sex—and the fact that I agreed just because I was fine with having you in any way I possibly could���I’m such a pathetic fool. We could have had it all Mark. We could have been so happy together—“

“That’s why I’m here tonight. I want to fix this. I’m sorry for staying away for so long, but I wanted to give you your space and I was afraid that you’d push me away. Actually, this time apart has made me realize just how much I cannot live without you. I love you—I really do. I’m so madly and fucking crazily in love with you that I’m genuinely scared of what I’m capable of doing just to be yours again. I know I don’t deserve a second chance and I’m so sorry for breaking your heart. I’m sorry for being such a fucking selfish asshole. You deserve so much better than me and I should have tried harder for us—but I swear to God if you take me back, this time around will be different. I will take good care of you y/n, I won’t let you go ever again. These last few weeks without you was fucking hell—it took every bone in my body not to call and text you. I actually came here five times and sat on the stairs, trying to build the courage to talk to you. Losing you had to be the hardest loss I’ve ever experienced in my entire existence and it’s all my fault.” 

His fingertips made their way up to your cheeks and you were too caught up with everything he said to realize it until he cupped both sides of your face and lifted it up so that you were making eye contact with him. You were growing upset with yourself for allowing him to touch you—to caress you because this meant you were giving in to him and you made a pact with yourself that you’d move on from him. 

You kept trying to convince yourself that the thought of Mark walking in on his ex-girlfriend in bed with her friend and the pain he must have felt is what got you to allow him permission in holding you as he was so gently right now—but you knew exactly why you weren’t pushing him away like any sane human being would. Mark Tuan, whether you liked it or not was the man who held your heart. The only man who probably ever will. 

All you wanted since you stormed out of his apartment that night was for him to come back and beg you to take him as yours again. Here he was doing just that—yet you were still so hesitant. What if his words were nothing but empty promises? What if he were to hurt you again down the line? What if you were to let down your walls that you took so long to build after you came to the decision that loving him was going to kill you one day only for him to come in and ruin you tenfold? Was it going to be worth it? You were still slowly falling in love with yourself and rebuilding yourself—were you really going to allow Mark to interrupt and ruin the process? 

“I know from past experience and by the look on your face that you’re overthinking and I just want you to know that—“

“Just shut up and kiss me. I’ll probably regret this in the morning but I can’t think at all—I just need closure—“

“Y/n—“

“Either you kiss me or you leave. It’s all up to you—“

Kissing Mark had to be one of your favorite activities not only as a couple but just in general. Even before the two of you began dating, you found yourself staring at his lips on multiple occasions. They always looked so soft—they were plump, heart shaped and the prettiest shade of pink. His lips melded perfectly with yours, as if they were made for you. The kiss started off slow and gentle—as if he was afraid that you would pull away all too soon. Slowly, he began pushing you more and more inside of your apartment and deepened the kiss as the two of you made your way towards your bedroom. 

“Jump for me baby.” 

You did as you were told and threw yourself on top of him, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist as your hands found their way around his neck. He roughly squeezed at your ass and pressed you up against the wall, not being able to go any second without his lips on yours. You couldn’t explain just how amazing being in his arms and having his lips attacking yours felt—God it felt wonderful. Before you could process his next move, he shoved the door open and threw you on to the bed as he started attacking your neck with sloppy kisses. 

“How the fuck did I go so long without you? Fuck baby—you’re so, so beautiful.” 

When you felt his hard on press up against your thigh, you had to stifle back a laugh. Mark was notorious for easily getting turned on. This was a common occurrence; it didn’t take long for his cock to stand right at attention. Whenever you’d wear one of his shirts or if you sat on his lap—he would groan in sexual frustration. 

“Can I—can I make love to you?” You nodded without hesitation and one by one, your layers of clothing were being flown across of the room. Both his clothes and yours were scattered all around the floor, leaving you both in nothing but your underwear. 

“So fucking gorgeous, I can’t wait to have my way with you.” 

He began leaving chaste kisses along your neck and made his way down to your naked breasts. Mark was very verbal about how much he loved playing with and sucking on your breasts. Breast play was both a huge kink of Mark’s and yours. He took both your large mounds in between his hands and began to knead them, twisting and flicking your nipples. You moaned at the sensation—Mark’s fingers always did wonders whether he was using them on your breasts, on your ass, on your hips or in between your legs. He had some of the prettiest fingers you’ve ever seen and they were magical. 

“It’s only been three weeks but I feel as if your tits grew bigger. I didn’t think it was possible seeing as how they’re humongous. Ah—I can’t get over how perfect you are.” 

Your heart swelled at his words—Mark always knew exactly what to say and now you knew there was no going back. You pushed back the tiny voice begging you to stop what you were doing to the back of your head. 

Closure. All I need is closure. 

Who were you kidding? Mark was back in your life now—the ball was in your court and you were non-verbally giving him another chance. Is that what you really wanted though? Of course it was. You wanted Mark—you didn’t need him but you wanted him. God, oh how you wanted him. You were so deep in to your thoughts that the flick of your clit sent warmth to both your chest and your cheeks. 

“You’re already so wet. You feel so amazing as always baby.” 

It’s been a while since you’ve heard that term of endearment fall from his lips. As frustrated as you were with him, you wanted him to say that four letter word as many times as he could. It reminded you of when everything was how it used to be—wonderful, beautiful, extraordinary—fairytale like almost. Too good to be true really. You felt yourself choke up thinking about how amazing your relationship once was. 

Why did he have to ruin it by running away? Why didn’t he just tell you his fears before? Why did he allow you to fall so deeply in love with him? Why did he continue your relationship for so long knowing that your feelings grew deeper and deeper as the days went by? You absentmindedly cupped his cheek and smashed your lips against his; as much as you wanted to be upset with him, you couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pity as his words of insecurity began to replay over and over in your mind. He smiled in to the kiss and continued to rub on your clit with one hand and pinched your nipple between his fingers. 

“Tell me you love me.” 

You looked up at him in both surprise and disbelief. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you loved Mark. Even though your relationship was in shambles and there was practically nothing left, you never stopped loving him. He took up too much space in both your mind and your heart for you to move on from him that quickly. 

It worried you; since Mark was the first and only man you’ve ever loved, you were terrified out of your mind thinking that you were never going to find someone else. You prayed for God to give you a sign; you also wanted him to give Mark a change of heart. All you really desired was for him to fall back in love with you. It was honestly too much to ask for but you didn’t even care. You deserved to receive the same love you gave him so effortlessly. However, you didn’t know if you were ready to confess it to him just yet. You were still so broken and fragile; he didn’t deserve your love just yet. 

“Mark—I—I—I’m sorry. I can’t.  Not right now. I’m not ready to say it just yet.” 

Seeing his shoulders slump as his whole demeanor changed in to that of disappointment made you feel like literal shit. He looked so defeated; like you ripped his soul right out of his body. If you questioned the love he held for you before you had him hovering on top of you, you were now confident that he indeed still loved you. The look of hurt in his eyes after you admitted how you currently felt was proof enough that Mark held feelings for you. He slowly leaned back and ran his hand through his hair; taking in a few deep breaths before giving you a sad smile. 

“Don’t be sorry—I should be the one apologizing. I have no right to ask you to do that or anything else for me. I’m sorry y/n. I just—I missed hearing you say it. But it’s my fault. I’m selfish. I took all your love confessions for granted—I took you for granted and now I’m paying the fucking price of it having to live without you—“

You wiped a couple of tears that fell down his cheeks before taking his face in between the palms of your hands. 

“Even if I can’t say it, I’m sure you know that I do. I still do. I haven’t stopped. Ever. Not even once and if I’m telling the truth, I probably never will. We’ll talk later—now, I really need you to do something or I’ll go insane.” 

If he was disappointed, he did a good job at not showing it. He returned his position back in between your thighs and left soft, feather like kisses along your body, making his way down to your navel and finally reaching your entrance. He placed a wet kiss on both sides of your inner thighs before licking a long strip along your slit. 

“Such a pretty pussy. I can’t wait to devour you princess. Time to eat.”

The sun was warm against your cheeks and it took you a while to process that you were no longer asleep. The pleasurable soreness in between your thighs was a reminder of what happened the night before. Flashbacks of your late night love making session with Mark came rushing back as you gazed at his sleeping figure. He looked so peaceful and he had his arms wrapped gently around your waist. 

His breath was warm as he continued to wander around in dreamland and it was in that moment did you groan in irritation at your thoughtless decision. Sure, mending your broken relationship sounded good on paper last night—especially after the five hour sex session the two of you had. 

Honestly, in the duration of your time as a couple, last night had to be the best sex you’ve ever had with Mark. It was dirty—nasty—rough—wild—sinful to the tenth degree; you couldn’t even describe just how naughty it actually was. The two of you experimented in many different positions; he sat on a chair and you bounced on him with a relentless pace, he threw you up against the wall and rammed his cock so deep inside of your pussy causing the tip to hit your cervix repeatedly, he kneeled and placed your ass on his lap while he fucked you from behind, he propped you on top of his lap with your back pressed firmly against his chest as he guided you along his length. 

No matter how many rounds you went, neither you or Mark could get enough. You were both addicted to the high that came with loving on the other’s body. You can still see the imprint of your breasts on the window when he pressed you up against the pane and fucked you doggy style. 

The sound of skin on skin slapping—your ass bouncing deliciously against his front; it was breathtaking. The older boy ate you out three times and you came every single time. You returned the favor by going down on your knees, taking as much of his dick down your throat and choking on it purposely—knowing just how much Mark got off on hearing you gag on him. 

Although he was very generous in eating your cunt like he hasn’t eaten anything in a long time, he was very vocal about how much of a professional you were at giving head and because of this, he would indirectly hint towards having you blow him dry at least once a day. You were sure that if you tried to stand up, your legs would give out and you’d end up falling right back down. He fucked you like he hated you—like he had a vengeance against you. Not once was it slow or passionate and as much as you loved kinky sex, it did make you sad as you grew to overthink again. 

You couldn’t stop thinking that everything he said last night was a lie. His tears—the way his chest began to heave as his brows furrowed, it was all his way to get you to feel sorry for him and to hopefully bring you back to him. You believed he sweet talked his way in to having sex with someone he knew would give their body to him so easily. Why he didn’t feel as though he could have gone to someone else instead of running back to you—you’d never understand and you didn’t feel like asking him. 

Looking at him right now; sleeping peacefully, naked and bare, his pretty lashes fluttering as his chest lifted up and down—you wished you could have forgotten the entire month and the months he was only in it for the sex. You wished things could have been what they used to be before everything went to flames. You wished you could pretend none of this ever happened and run straight in to his arms. There was nothing more that you wanted than to bask in him and all his handsome glory. 

Sure, the sex was no doubt out of this world, but you cared for more than just the sex. Sex should be the cherry on top of a perfect ice cream sundae. In this case; you wanted to be held—you wanted to be able to run to Mark whenever you had a rough day. You wanted to stay up in the wee hours of the morning watching reruns of Netflix shows, you wanted to bake all kinds of desserts you’d see on the food network, you wanted to read books while sitting on his lap as he played video games; everything the two of you used to do, you wanted to do it. 

Being domestic; romantic and just genuinely in love—two sided love, that’s all you wanted. You decided to gaze at him for just a little longer. Your heart and your mind were at war in that moment. As much as you wanted to believe his promise of doing better and mending your relationship, the voice reminding you that things weren’t going to change wouldn’t stop nagging you. With a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, you made the decision to jump in the shower. 

Not only did you want to cleanse your body of all the sweat and excess cum you were sure was stuck all over your stomach, thighs, breasts and back, but you needed to be as far away from Mark as you possibly could. Also, taking a shower was when you were your most serene. You could use the hot water to break you out of your many thoughts. Not wanting to wake him, you tried your best to quietly walk over towards your bathroom and closed the door quietly behind you before jumping in the tub. 

The water was blazing hot—but honestly you didn’t even feel it. Your body was too numb to really take in your surroundings and to feel anything at all. It took you a while to start doing something, you had no desire to move. You were filled with too many emotions that it took almost five minutes to put shampoo in your hair. The droplets began to pound against your skin as you thoroughly ran your fingers through your hair. 

Since you didn’t look at your phone or the clock on your night stand, you had no idea what time it was but you didn’t even care. You didn’t have too much planned for the day; if Mark hadn’t come over you would have went grocery shopping and had a little pity party filled with wine and ice cream like you have been for the last few weeks. You had no clue what you were going to do once he woke up. Did you want him to stay? Did you want him to go? Of course you wanted him to stay. He would have left the second he showed up if you didn’t want him there. But you were losing your sanity the longer he stayed at your apartment. 

The love you held for him came crashing in to you like a terrifying storm, there was no turning back anymore and that’s what you were afraid of. Since you were so busy thinking about your excuse as to why he couldn’t stay anymore, you failed to hear the bathroom door open nor did you hear the shower curtain slide. You only realized Mark had join you when you felt him rubbing shower gel along your shoulders. He placed a soft kiss against your jaw as he placed his head in the crook of your neck. 

“Good morning baby. Sleep well?” You hummed in agreement and leaned in to his embrace. 

Just a little while longer y/n. This is your last time with him. Take in as much as you possibly can. 

“That was the best sleep I had in weeks—and I know it’s because you were in my arms. God—last night had to be one of the best nights of my entire life I’m not even joking. I mean, we’ve had makeup sex so many times but fuck—that was fantastic. You—God y/n I can’t get over how beautiful and fucking perfect you are. Do you have any plans for today?” 

You turned around to face him and reached for your shampoo to put in his hair. His morning voice was so sexy. Mark’s voice was one of your favorite sounds in the world. It was soft and gentle towards the people that he was familiar with and even to strangers as his way of being polite. Sometimes he talked to you as if you were a child, but it wasn’t in a teasing or humiliating way. 

It was more so because he was so protective over you and he made it known that you were such a delicate little flower in his eyes. However, in the mornings and during sex, his voice would grow deeper; raspier and it never failed to send shivers down your spine. He giggled as you scrubbed his brown, curly locks and brought his hands down to your hips, grazing your hip bones ever so gently. 

“As a matter a fact, I do. I have to pick up some groceries, my laundry is piling up and I meant to go visit my mom sometime this afternoon.” His small smile soon turned in to a frown, but he didn’t say anything and allowed you to continue washing his hair. 

“So—you—you said you wanted to talk this morning. What um—what are we y/n?” Although you were well aware that the topic of you and Mark was going to come up sooner or later, you weren’t mentally prepared for that conversation just yet. You didn’t come to the decision as to whether or not you were going to take him back. When you heard him sigh, you had a feeling he thought your response was going to be a negative one and he had every right to think so. 

“Y/n, you know we can’t live without one another. As much as you deserve better, and fuck—you deserve the entire universe, you and I need each other. This relationship is toxic, sure, but I wouldn’t want to go through life with anyone else. You’re it for me—for the rest of my life. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I need you to know that. I felt so fucking depressed without you. I was on the brink of insanity. I guess it was my karma for taking advantage of you, but I want nothing more than to fix my mistakes if that is what it will take to bring you back to me. What was last night huh? You wouldn’t have let me fuck you the way that I did if you didn’t see us getting back together—“

“What do you want me to say Mark? Huh? Sex doesn’t solve anything! Did you really think that your half ass apology and your shitty ass, empty words were going to fix the fucking wreck you left my heart in? Did you think your cock was going to patch up my wounds—get rid of my insecurities and make me whole again? Our relationship wasn’t toxic—you’re the toxic one! You’re a fucking asshole Mark Tuan. You know what you were doing the minute you broke up with me and had the nerve to ask me if we could still hookup. You’re the actual devil you know that? You don’t love me. You never loved me. That’s why you could leave so easily. If you loved me, we wouldn’t be here right now but here we fucking are Mark. I wouldn’t have cried every single day because of you. I would have never questioned my worth—I would have never questioned what I was to you or who I was to you. But I did. I always wondered what you’d tell your friends or your family whenever they’d ask me who I was after we broke up. Was I still your girlfriend or was I just somebody you ran to when you wanted to get your dick wet? I can’t blame you completely, I allowed you to do that to me but fuck Mark—did it not bother you in any way? Did lying to me, only reaching out to me when it was beneficial for you, making me feel like I wasn’t good enough—what did that do for you? Did it fuel your ego knowing you had that kind of power over someone? Fucking tell me you asshole! Last night—last night was my way to say goodbye to you. To us. It meant nothing to me—“

“That’s bullshit and you know it, stop fucking lying to me. I can see it in your eyes y/n. Your mouth is saying one thing but your eyes hold a totally different story. I know you. You’re probably stuck—you want me. You want to be with me again just as much as I want to be with you. I’ll do anything to make you mine again. You said it last night. You weren’t ready to tell me that you still love me, but you do. Even if you didn’t confirm it, I know you do and I love you to. I love you so fucking much damnit get it through that head of yours. I’m not going anywhere. If it’s space and time that you need, I’ll give it to you. And no, I wasn’t lying. I meant every single thing I told you last night. You’re my lifeline. You’re all I want for the rest of my life—please, you have to believe me.” 

You turned around in frustration and shut off the water; you were confused and upset. Why did he have to do this right now? Why did he think it was a good time to throw this all on you? There was nothing you hated more than lying. It wasn’t who you were. Every time you had to lie to someone, you just felt so terrible. But you didn’t want Mark knowing the truth. He’d use it against you if he were to find out that you were seconds away from giving him what he wanted. 

“I love you. Okay? I love you Mark and I hate that I do. I wish I could stop. Loving you is so tiring. Unrequited love is the worst. Loving you is going to be the reason I end up six feet under. I love you, but love is not enough anymore.” He brought his hands up to your face and cupped your face all but gently. His eyes pierced through yours; it was obvious that he meant business. With the way he was acting, he wasn’t leaving your place until he made things right. 

“I don’t know what else I can do or say to get you back in my life. Love is enough. Our love will always be enough. I love you, you love me—I don’t care about anyone or anything else. I’ll fight for you, as long and as hard as you need me to. I’ll do whatever you ask of me, whatever will make things right. I know how it feels to live without you and I cannot fucking do it anymore. I’m sorry it took me so long, but you know my reasons for staying away. Don’t you ever think, even for just a second that everything I’m telling you is a lie. I meant and I mean every single fucking word. My heart—or whatever is left of it—whatever you didn’t take with you that night, it beats for you. It’s yours. Forever. I can’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep at all since you left. I haven’t been eating and all I could ever think about was you. The pain in your eyes as you stormed out, the way your words repeated like a broken record in my mind, whatever clothes and items you left at my place—hell, your scent is still on my pillow and it’s been haunting me every single day. I never understood what love was and I never understood why people made such a big deal of it before I met you. But as soon as I came to the conclusion that I was in love with you, everything made sense. So please—I’m not asking you to forget everything I’ve put you through and all that you’ve suffered in the last few weeks. I’m so fucking sorry, I really am. Tell me you don’t want to be with me anymore. Tell me you don’t see me in your future and I’ll let you go. I don’t want to keep bothering you anymore. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I know I’m toxic and it took hearing you say that for me to accept it, but I promise you things will be different this time around. I’ll change. You’ll never question your place in my life or what you meant to me ever again. I will make sure to remind you just how much I love you and how much you mean to me verbally and physically on a daily basis. Please baby, one more chance. That’s all I need.” 

The look of hopefulness in his eyes and the way he was holding you so protectively, so tightly as if he was afraid of what would happen if he were to let you go; his motions alone made the decision for you. There was no going against your heart, no matter how hard you could try. At the end of the day, Mark Tuan—even after all the mistakes he’s made and all the trauma he had you suffer through, he was your soulmate. 

That man, that beautifully broken man, he was made for you. He was yours and you were his. Sure, he could have handled things much more differently and these last few months could have been prevented, but it was in the past. No point in beating yourself up about spilled milk anymore. To both his and your surprise, you pressed him up against the cold tiles of your shower and roughly smashed your mouth against his. You didn’t give him any time to prepare and you took the lead in moving your lips against his. When you felt him smile in to the kiss, you knew you made the right decision. Only Mark Tuan was capable of making you cry, cum and smile in less than an hour timespan. There was nobody like him and there would never be anyone who could replace him. 

“Please don’t ruin things this time. Promise me you’ll talk to me. We need to work on our communication Mark. I think I would actually die if I have to leave you again.” 

He nodded vehemently and stole a couple of sweet kisses from your lips as he carefully picked you up and threw you over his shoulder—playfully smacking your ass in the process and taking you back in to your bedroom. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. You and I are endgame baby. Now, as much as I love your mom, I think we should make up for lost time, don’t you? There are many more positions I want to experiment in. Particularly the one where you split on my dick—what? You’re stuck with me for life you know that? I love you so much y/n. More than you will ever be able to comprehend with that beautiful head of yours. Thank you for coming back to me.”

[makeuhwa]

sides of mark tuan (1/2)

[makeuhwa]

[makeuhwa]

sides of mark tuan (2/2)

[makeuhwa]

i swear he’s the oldest 😭

[makeuhwa]

just. him.