#glitch my beloved little disaster

[ghostinthewires]

Mushy May Day 7 - Compliments

will this make sense to anyone that is not me or @kroas-adtam? probably not. am i posting it anyway? absolutely yes. credit as always goes to @forlorn-crows for mushy may

characters: sister imperator and my ghoul OC Glitch. for anyone who doesnt know, Glitch is an electric ghoul and is the abbey (and the Ghost Project's) IT ghoul. this is a peek far into the future of what i currently have published for Glitch, which you can find here!

wc: 1233 words

Glitch huffed as she picked up the pile of paperwork she’d just finished. For all her job was the abbey’s technology, she always seemed to have a lot of physical paperwork on her desk. It was all boring stuff, things just needing her signature and the date, but it was tiring to read through it all. And with the new tour coming up, there was more than ever.

She made her way down the corridor and down a flight of stairs, getting caught up in a hug and kiss from Swiss as he passed her, and then pulled into an alcove by Special. She giggled and kissed him, then promised to come see him as soon as she was done.

By the time she reached Imperator’s office there was a bounce in her step, and she went in happily when called. “Hi,” she said, holding up the paperwork. “I got this stuff all done!”

Sister just hummed and moved something, gesturing for Glitch to put her paperwork down there. Glitch’s smile slowly fell when Sister otherwise ignored her, head bent down over her desk. She glanced around as she slowly put down the paperwork. This place was a mess. Sister’s office was always busy, full of things to be done and people to speak to, but she’d never seen it messy before. Everything had its place. Normally.

Her desk was the same. Papers scattered everywhere, nothing seemed to be in the normally tidy piles. Glitch bit her lip as she stood there in the awkward silence, ignored by Imperator. She could just walk out and go to Special, spend the night curled up in his bed soaking in his warmth. But she already knew she wouldn’t stop thinking about Imperator until she checked in.

“Sister?” she asked tentatively. “Is… are you okay?”

The woman huffed and nodded, eyes fixed on the desk. Glitch wasn’t sure what she was actually reading. If she was actually reading.

“I’m not convinced,” the ghoul said firmly. The stern tone was so unusual coming out of Glitch that it made Imperator look up in surprise out of instinct - just long enough for Glitch to see her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks before she darted her gaze back down at the desk again.

Glitch sighed and stared for a moment, but when it didn’t look like Sister was going to say anything, she turned and moved towards the door. She didn’t miss the woman’s quiet sigh of relief as she thought Glitch was leaving, but instead the ghoul simply turned the lock and went back to the desk. She cleared a space on it and then climbed up, turning to face Imperator and crossing her legs. Imperator was looking up at her now, looking confused amongst the sadness.

“You have two options,” Glitch said, leaning on a hand. “Either you talk to me about what’s upsetting you, or I go and get Copia and you talk to him.”

Sister immediately frowned. “Do not go and get Copia.” Her voice cracked a little and Glitch hummed as she leaned back on the desk, eyes drifting around the room. “So talk to me,” she said softly. “I’m not going to tell anyone. You know that.” Sister did know that. Glitch was known around the abbey for her undying ability to keep secrets. She was so private in her own life, keeping other’s secrets was easy. 

The woman sighed and shook her head, trying to regain some of her regular composure. “It’s… It’s nothing, really. It shouldn’t be affecting me.”

“But it is,” Glitch immediately pointed out. Sister smiled dryly and looked up at the ghoul sitting on her desk, green eyes staring and tail flicking in the air. 

“When did you get so stubborn?” Sister asked, and Glitch didn’t smile like she thought she might. “Someone upset you,” the ghoul said, like it was obvious. “I’m not happy about it. So tell me what happened.”

Sister frowned and shook her head lightly, gesturing at her laptop. “Just some stupid emails I’ve been getting constantly. Clearly from someone in the clergy, but with an anonymous address. They’re…” she trailed off and frowned again, looking sad. “Childish.”

Glitch actually growled, startling Imperator. Sometimes she forgot Glitch was a ghoul; a dangerous one. “Show me,” the ghoul said. Sister shook her head. “It’s not that importa-”

“Sister, show me the emails or I’ll start using the network to have all your emails redirected to my laptop.”

Glitch looked angry. Imperator wasn’t used to seeing the sweet ghoul with such a furious expression.

Sister said an impulsive retort of “Don’t you tell me what to do,” but there’s no real meanness behind it and she was already pulling the laptop forward. She opened the emails and tilted the laptop towards Glitch, who pulled it up onto her lap and spent the next fifteen minutes in silence, getting angrier and angrier.

She stole a piece of blank paper at one point and started noting things down - numbers that could have been IP addresses and MAC addresses and timestamps and things Sister didn’t understand to do with packet types and file headers. She took photos on her phone too. 

“Glitch, my emails are confidential. You better not be taking photos of anything you shouldn’t be,” Sister piped up, but went quiet again when Glitch only glanced at her over the top of the laptop in silence.

Another five minutes went past and Sister noticed Glitch’s fingers were crackling, electricity sparking between them as the anger settled low in her gut. The ghoul noticed too, and curled her hands into fists immediately to stop the sparks.

After another few moments of silence, she gently set the laptop down and hopped off the table, taking the paper with her. “I’ll sort it,” she said, leaving no room for argument, but Sister tried anyway. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Glitch fired her a fang-filled grin that really looked too happy for the situation. She started to move toward the door but stopped before she got there, turning back to look at Sister. 

“Bullshit, by the way,” she said, gesturing. “Those emails.”

Sister frowned and just shrugged, trying again to pull her stern mask back on. It always seemed to slip around the sweet little ghoul. 

“I mean it,” the ghoul started again. “I’ve never met anyone smarter than you. You are not useless. You hold this whole place together. We’d all be fucked if it wasn’t for you.”

Sister just stared.

“And,” Glitch said, leaning in. “I also think that if they really think you’re so ugly, they need to get their eyes checked.”

The unexpected comment made Imperator smile and Glitch smiled back. “Delete them,” the ghoul said softly. “Don’t let them sit and fester.” And with that, she unlocked the door and left.

The next day, Sister receives a fearful apology in writing, slotted under her office door. And at the next meeting, she pretends not to notice the man who sits across from her, squirming under Glitch’s masked stare and nursing bandages that show when his suit sleeve rides up. Glitch says nothing outside of her quick report, but Imperator bites back a small smile when the ghoul’s tail wraps around her ankle. She wonders how Glitch found him, what she did to scare him so much, and then decides some things are better left unknown. For now.

[quack-city]

what the fuck have you been watching

1. Pillaged custom minecraft music disc

2. Survive the internet gallery of a game i don't remember playing

3. Quackity inspired playlist

4. Shulk custom minecraft music disc

5. Door simulator 2000 minecraft story mode season 1 episodes 2-4 by technoblade

6. I've NEVER done a series like THIS before! Minecraft 3rd life SMP (pretty sure it's smajor but i don't remember)

7. A brief history of: chernobyl

8. Forcing eddy burback to drink thick water (i don't know why i still have it opened, i watched this episode when it came out)

9. BoBoBo-Bo BoBo-Bo was SO WEIRD by billiam

10. How subnautica below zero was awesome by mistake

11. I went on my first date in minecraft if im not mistaken i think its either tommyinnits video or maybe it's Quackity's love or host.... I honestly don't remember it's been there for a while (update: it's tommys)

12. Behind the scenes i bought the most haunted place on earth....... Its slimecicles but i legit was convinced that it was jacks for some reason

13. Julian casablancas + the voidz - human sadness (instrumental something something i don't remember why i have it opened

14. Despicable me - the franchise ruined by facebook

15. Why shrek the musical is hot garbage

16. Love or host with justaminx jschlatt decides edition

17. A brief history of: the tammiku radiation event 1994

18. Minecraft b-team #2: weapons n farms

19. Dream's mask was a misunderstood disaster

20. The problems with blaire white misinformation and "moderation" by TRO. I've watched a half of this video im pretty sure. Good soup btw

21. The adventures of tintin and the shadows of giants no idea tf this is

22. Chilliad gamings greatest mystery no idea tf this is either

23. Detroit become human: it's bad I've watched this one recently and forgot to close it for some reason

24. The disturbing truth behind family channels

25. Dear evan Hansen is the worst movie musical ive ever seen

26. Pipergate: a youtube rabbit hole

27. Cinderella (2021) the cursed remake nobody wanted

28. The worst commentary video on youtube

29. Instagram boomers

30. 3rd life - 01 - TREE. T. S.D.

31. Caves&cliffs || new music by lena raine & kumi tanioka (good soup!)

32. This sponge bob theory channel has hidden lore

33. Weird unban requests with jack manifold on niki's twitch

34. The quackity exclusive - chuckle sandwich podcast

35. Disturbing health&beauty fads from the victorian era

36. Until dawn: the terrifying interactive horror movie (p sure it's rtgame's playthrough)

37. Last life episode 7 - OH NOOO!

38. Beyond two souls: david cage's biggest disaster

39. glitches galore! | hermitcraft 8 | ep 01

40. Fact-checking insane articles written about me (kurtis conner my beloved)

41. The internet's unknown predator

42. I beat skyrim in VR with 500+ mods

43. The thieves guild's weird little secret (oh tes lore my absolute beloved)

44. Dream's escaped prison Tommy's twitch

45. Quackity has a sleepover with georgenotfound

46. Quackity plays new jackbox games with ranboo, Wilbur soot & more

47. Disney's FastPass: a complicated history

48. Defunctland: the history of the worst seaworld ride, submarine something something idk

49. LOST was weird: a show no one wanted to make | billiam again

50. Minecraft has splashes now?

51. Sneegsnag reacts to what pretending to be crazy looks like (my favourite series ever lmao and this one's probably one of my favourite videos from it)

52. Just opened, Sneeg's recent JCS stream

+ a couple of tabs i just opened that are basically "the best Internet privacy browser". But here are all of my current tabs. There used to be more.

[x-avavarts-x]

A final fantasy fanfiction for my oc and her family.

Characters: Cor Leonis, Laura lucis caelum (my oc), Aurora Tummelt (my oc), Ardyn lucis caelum, Loqi Tummelt

Warning:

 My national language is not English. I apologize for spelling and grammar mistakes.

Summary:

When your flesh and blood are mixed with pain and you are nurtured with it, you dedicate your whole being to those who were trying to improve your suffering by touching their love. What's wrong with you? It does hurt to lose these loved ones, even thinking about it bothers you. At that time .. you grab everything to stop the destiny .. like a bird stuck in a cage and trying for freedom, you knock yourself on the door and the wall to find a way ... and if you find it. Nothing can stop you, even if it is a God!

Part 4:

The sound of drops of water dripping on the rocky ground was the only audible sound. The cold and the humidity were clearly felt, and the sound of the wind falling into the holes and piles around made the atmosphere more frightening. For a sleeping monster inside human skin, fear was meaningless! His buried eyelids were finally shaken by a layer of blood, and he slowly saw the ground in front of him like a TV screen full of glitch! Everything was jamming and the sound of the alarm was bothering his brain! Charging urgently needed to get rid of these damn bugs! He moaned relatively loudly and tried to get up, but it seemed like an obstacle in front of him! He frowned and turned his head to see what was going on. He stretched out his hand to break that iron ring, but he felt a sharp pain in all parts of the tension, his hand was broken! And he had just realized. If he didn't release himself, the pain wouldn't let him escape! It's true that he still didn't understand why it was closed! But every wise man knew that when he was chained to the wall like this, his life was in danger! He tried as hard as he could to move his broken left hand and instead turned his head towards his healthy hand. He pressed his lips together and tried to pull his hair out of his eyes by moving his head to the right! He took a deep breath and shook his hand with a sudden movement. He broke the iron ring and released his hand! A half-smiling smile settled on his lips and he quickly turned to release his broken arm, but just before the iron ring had been fenced around his wrist, an arrow came out of nowhere and the palm of his broken hand stared at the wall! He shouted loudly and closed his eyes tightly! He trembled with pain and weakness and saw red everywhere! Slowly he turned to see where the arrow came from and when it would hurt him so much. He hadn't fully turned yet when another arrow came and slammed his right shoulder against the wall! He gritted his teeth hard and growled at them! A growl of pain that, of course, had no human form! He was out of breath and stared angrily at the man who was coming towards him! he knew him! A fossil that was alive !! Contrary to the young general's outrage, Loqi Tummelt, Ardyn had a cold smile! Slowly he stepped forward and opened his hands to the sides as if he wanted to hug Loqi:

"I have to say that it's really hard to keep a behemoth king like that!"

Loqi's reaction was nothing but a mocking grin! He tried to hide his weakness behind his gaze and anger! He tilted his head slightly and addressed Ardyn in a very mocking tone:

" It's hard for you to keep a mouse, let alone me, who is my ultimate power and I will crush you!"

For a few moments, the silence of the room was disturbed only by water droplets, and then, Ardyn's slow and not so loud laughter! He dropped his hand and turned his head back and stared at the roof of the room!

"Oh, what a sad motive you have for me, little monster !!"

"Close your mouth and just open me again !!"

Ardyn's smile remained fixed on his face. As he looked at an unknown spot, he moved his tension from left to right and pressed his lips together:

"Hum! You're right, but ... I'm busy with my sweet girl!"

An evil smile settled on his lips and he stared at Loqi. Loqi's gaze became full of worry and anxiety, Aurora was in danger !! Especially now that he is captivating himself! Ardyn Half was annoyed by Aurora, and this style of torture forced Aurora to do anything! he tried to vent his anger:

"I swear to the gods, Ardyn .. bring disaster on her head.

Contrary to Loqi's obvious anger, Ardyn enjoys the annoyance of two sisters and a brother who are very close. Slowly he put his hand on the broken part of Loqi's hand and pressed it softly but firmly. Loqi's aching breath trapped behind his teeth and suffocated him, the pain of that pain when all his systems were disrupted. It was so hard, he couldn't keep himself awake, and if he fell he would die! He tried to save himself from fainting, but he couldn't. His weight was borne by his shoulder, which was nailed to the wall with metal and black arrow .. If something bad happened to his sister .. he would hold himself responsible .. forever!

On the other side of the story, Aurora was sitting on the floor, overwhelmed with mental unrest, her heart pounding like garlic and vinegar, squeezing the edges of her clothes, knowing Loqi was not in a good mood, she was inspired! She was afraid of losing her brother, she tried for years and was awaken many nights, to get her beloved Loqi out of that difficult and destructive tests alive! It's been exactly two days now that she didn't know about Loqi! She sold her motorcycle to make arrangements, but he refused to hear Loqi's voice once! She took a deep breath and got up from her place. She had to talk to that woman and ask her for help, the one whose name was Laura, and Aurora thought she was a simple glaive! She didn't even know her goal was that woman! Before she could get out of the tent, a glaive gently stepped ahead And stood before her. She turned her head toward that glaive. With the pressure that he put on her chest with his hand, she took a few steps back. That glaive's smile was nothing but has a negative feeling for Aurora. Her hands were ready to defend her, but before she could even tell if her thoughts were true or not, that glaive spoke, In a voice that belonged to someone else:

"I'm glad that Uncle Ardyn's dear is healthy !!"

Surprise and disbelief fell into the wave of turmoil. She went back so far as to hit the wall of the tent. She raised her head and stared at Ardyn, who had now returned to his body! She didn't need to pretend to be angry, her eyes subconsciously filled with hatred to the point that his tone was saved from the bitter poison of hatred:

" I thought I was free to see that ugly mess forever!"

Ardyn's hands gently touched her shoulders and he stopped behind her. He laughed softly and lowered his head to whisper in Aurora's ear, a whisper that smelled of resentment:

"Don't look for your brother, darling!"

The fact that Ardyn was talking about Loqi had only one meaning for Aurora, she couldn't resist and the tension was shaking! Her frown slowly subsided and she was scared ... it was the fear that was taking its toll, the fear of losing Loqi! She was so scared that not only her tension but also her voice trembled!

" Is he ... in your hands?

Ardyn had achieved his goal. The heavy shock he had given Aurora was enough for him! He laughed softly and walked away. He doesn't care about loqi or Aurora, it was just the little beads that Ardyn was entertaining himself with that! The main nut of Ardyn's story was Noctis! Almost no one from the Noctis family was left, except for one person.whom Ardyn needed for destroyed Noctis, a princess who was eating coffee with her love a few tents away! The person to whom Aurora was indebted! As he walked slowly, he opened his hands and leaned slightly toward the sky:

" Wounded and tired in my black fork! I promised Verstael to take him to him. He will be very happy!"

He stood and turned on his heel to Aurora and smirked mischievously:

" He is impatiently waiting for the new tests, my dear !!"

This tone was familiar to Aurora, and she could extract the purpose of Ardyn from her. Ardyn wanted something in exchange for Loqi, and told them so secretly how valuable that goal was, it didn't matter to Aurora even if her hateful uncle wanted her life! That goal was speculation .. She was the girl who wanted Verstael!

"What should I do to avoid giving Loqi to that humane hyena !!"

Ardyn's laughter calmed Aurora, she had guessed that Ardyn wanted something of her, Ardyn's crooked steps were taken to the tent. He tied his hands gently behind his back and stood in front of the tent in soft, black smoke and ashes around the tension.

" Witness !! I ... want the princess !! A girl with long black and gray hair ... and eyes that surround the heavenly skies and gardens !!"

Aurora's gaze was fixed on Ardun's vacancy, her breath was trapped in her chest because she knew only one person with this address .. The eyes that surrounded the sky and the gardens of heaven .. There was no one but the woman who saved her life It was ...Laura !! She turned her head slowly towards the big tent under which Laura had taken refuge. She stared at her and her smile crept into her mind! If she was the princess of Lucis ... then she should have been the same example, who was stolen from Verstael 35 years ago ... and if she got their hands on it ... She would be destroyed! She thought that this was the only purpose of Ardyn. Unaware that Ardyn had other sinister plans and did not care about the will of Verstael!

When she reached the tent, she stood up and turned to Cor. She raised his finger as if she was getting permission from her teacher, and addressed Cor in a decisive tone:

"Let me talk, okay?"

A serious face was sewn to Laura without feelings. He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, not long after he looked at Laura again and answered with his hands locked on his chest.

"That good bait to Captured loqi! And she is now between us! We should not give her time that she can to spy!"

Unlike Laura, who trusted the girl, Cor did not feel good! He was worried about Laura, he was more worried about Laura than he was about Noctis! Laura is jewelry for nifs just when the crystal was in the hands of Nifs !! It was unlikely that even 0.1 percent of the girl would be spies! Maybe Loqi's sister deliberately thought she could come here! It was not unlikely. No matter how much he wanted to instill this feeling in Laura, it was useless! Laura was a wayward girl. If she knew that Cor was worried about her, she would risk herself more. Aurora's gaze was fixed on the princess and the man, who was much taller than her. She felt dumb and confused! She hugged her arms and leaned toward the ground to sort out her thoughts! Laura's gaze was fixed on Aurora. She wanted to ask her in the same way.Just as the opened her mouth to speak, Aurora stood and stared at her:

" I really need to save my brother! If he reaches to Nifelheim, nothing will be left of him!"

Frown come in between Cor's eyebrows! Is Loqi dying? to hell!! It didn't matter to him at all, unlike Laura, she understood Aurora's feelings. She also had a younger brother, Noctis!

"Don't worry, I'll help you, but I have a condition for you!"

" Unconditional condition! How can we believe that loqi is in danger! Why do you ask his enemy for help?"

Cor said, and Laura's reaction to this short, concise speech was just one thing, she rolled her eyes. She turned her head slowly and stared at Cor:

"my dear??"

My dear phrase, do not seal silence with Cor's lips. Aurora's gaze turned to Cor:

"I know who you are! I saw your photo before, Mr. Leonis! Loqi is in the worst condition right now and I have no one but him."

Cor's tone became even colder than before:

"I don't trust you either. If you like your brother, is better for you to go from here!"

Aurora's gaze turned oppressed towards Laura! She couldn't enter through a friendship with Leonis! So she had to wash laura's brain!

" Can I just talk to you?"

Laura's gaze slowly turned to Cor, and then her smile was realized cor that he was left her alone! Cor did not want this, but Laura was his princess! He had to follow her orders, he went out slowly but stayed behind the tent! Now that Aurora's loneliness had eased her mind, she took the opportunity to catch Laura! She could have used the same magic to take half of Laura hostage. Or she could hit her with a chair next to the bed. He looked down at the chair. If Laura defended herself in any way, Leonis would come and kill her! So she couldn't finish it with these methods! He stared at Laura! Seeing the blackness of her hair, her mind went to the black bag that was in her bag !! She had completely forgotten why Verstael had given her the drug, and Aurora wanted to have another use for it! Laura's gaze was fixed on Aurora's eyes, she didn't know why she didn't speak! She lowered her head slightly to see her eyes better:

"Aurora? Do you want to tell me something?"

Laura's voice brought Aurora's attention back to where she is now! He waved his hand slowly and then tried to speak as if she hated it!

"Do you have a brother who is in danger?"

She painted a sad smile on Laura's lips, slowly approached Aurora and put his hands on her shoulders:

"You were injured baby, rest, we will go after your brother soon!"

Laura's kind tone weakened Aurora's will. If Laura was a princess of lucis, and if the same pattern had really been stolen ... it would be easy for her to save loqi! But what if Laura wanted to kill Loqi anyway? Loqi was the one who attacked Insomnia, although Laura was kind, but what if her inner intentions were evil? Aurora had been hiding from people for many years. She had no relation with anyone except monsters in human clothes! She couldn't trust Laura! In addition, Laura, who was not in trouble, was finally clearing her mind !! But Loqi was killed !! These thoughts made Aurora regain her will! It's true that Laura was very angry with everyone in the army, but she never destroyed a rejected creature! That's when she is supported by her sister!

"Let me a moment!"

Laura's smile became a little brighter and she slowly moved away from Aurora! As she walked away, Aurora rushed to her bag and looked inside. The little black bag had something inside that Aurora wanted to use to control Loqi, although it was made for Laura. The girl who saved her life and took refuge in her! He raised his head and turned to Laura. She was standing behind Aurora, staring at her phone. Maybe she was sending a message! It was the best opportunity! She picked up the ready syringe and slowly walked towards her! Laura's gaze was fixed on her brother's face, and she was smiling. He had sent a photo of his new armiger to show Laura. She just laughed at these naughty is chiefs. Noctis was happy to laugh with his friends, it was the best thing for him. Laura opened the selfie camera of her phone to take a picture of her armiger and show those 25 weapons to Noctis, but before she opened her armiger, she saw something else inside the camera, with a metal Syringe in aurora's hand! She quickly turned to defend herself, but even before he had fully turned, the syringe needle sank into her throat and its contents emptied into her body. Her phone dropped and she looked at Aurora in shock! She didn't know what was injected into her, but whatever it was, it made her body dry and she had no will to move! She let out a sigh of relief and frowned:

"what did you do?"

She really squeezed Aurora's throat. Her trembling hand calmed down in front of her nose to keep Laura silent, her voice trembling and her eyes filled with tears:

"Shush! You are at my service now! Don't talk and behave normally. Let's go out together right now"

She paused to control herself and pressed her eyelids for a moment until tears welled up. and again she looked at Laura angrily:

"You don't say anything to anyone, tell everyone to go and talk to each other, it's a private matter that has nothing to do with anyone! Now close your mouth and get out.

Laura was in front of that girl, without any will from herself !! She couldn't even hold her frown! Her presence trembled with anger, but she could not express it! He couldn't disagree with that girl! She couldn't even punch her hand! It's like that aurora is a master girl! And there is no other way but to execute the command:

" what did you do? Why can't I object damn!"

When she packed her bag and threw it on her shoulder, she answered Laura:

"It's a controlled drug! Don't name the method yet! You are under my control and you have to listen to me! Your resistance destroys you. Now let's go to your car !! You are the princess then you go first! And Shut up!"

Cor was right، that girl ... was not something she showed, she pressed her lips gently and went out involuntarily, she couldn't even answer! She went straight without looking around to

Her car! When she arrived, she stood and turned to Aurora. Laura wanted to punch her in the face, but only her hands were shaking. Aurora's gaze went to her hands and she stood in front of Laura, nodding her head to both sides, and looking at Laura with a worried look, there was nothing but anger and hatred in Laura's eyes and that made her conscience strong! She pointed to the car:

" Get on, driver!"

And again, it was Laura who was doing something without any will, sitting quietly behind the roll, talking quietly and without a word, if she couldn't pull her eyebrows together !!

For a moment, Cor's negligence ruined everything without realizing it. He only saw Laura walking with that girl, her usual frown getting a little thicker! Why did Laura go unnoticed? He also had no clear identity with a nickname! The Nifs were filthy creatures, and Laura's trust in one of them made Cor jealous! He did not move forward and stood there, staring at Laura's departure. Unlike Laura, who was always Cor in front of her car, there was no honking! And she didn't even smile at Cor! Laura's face was very cold and her eyes ... it felt weird! She understood, but she did not take any action. Cor shrugged and went back to his tent to rest. It was around the morning and the marshal was very tired! When Laura came back, he could talk to her!

[all-hail-the-witcher]

really funny and stupid soulmate au request: whatever your soulmate is singing, you automatically join them in a duet wherever you are (any ship is good)

okay full disclaimer, I have n o i d e a what this is, the words just kinda happened and its really memey but somehow works ??

_______

ship: ralbert

genere: meme floof with a side of theater nerds

warnings: mikeys dog, too many bill wurtz references, comrades, an obscene amount of winking, Albert is a disaster lighting technician and race has no respect for lighting gels, high school musical

words: 1832 wat

editing: nah comrade

_______

If anyone knew anything about Albert it was that he always carried a packet of rosemary in his left pocket “in case he ran out of weed,” that he was trying to get excommunicated from the catholic church “just for lols,” and that he hated high school musical. The last one was particularly damning because all of his friends were theater nerds. (Albert prefered to yell at all of them from the lighting booth and assert his dominance by randomly having people shine the spotlight into the wings where people made out during rehearsal.) He had even gone as far to ban the soundtrack from ever being sang in his presence. Spot said his unrequited hatred for the movies were directly related to the fact that he had not yet found his soulmate and he didn’t like them because it portrayed love he had not yet found, but Albert loudly disagreed saying that the plots were merely just “shit on a stick.”

Cue Racetrack Higgins, the hot new kid in town.

When he showed up to the audition for the school musical, some dumb title that Albert hadn’t taken the time to note (he only had two brain cells and one of them was reserved for figuring out where he was gonna get his weed from and the other was reserved for coming up with new ways to get excommunicated), he had not expected to see a literal angel.

Alright so maybe it wasn’t an angel. Rather, a blonde kid who looked kinda vaguely like a beanpole. And quoting Bill Wurtz. Couldn’t forget that.

The ethereal beanpole had introduced himself after a particularly memorable incident about ten minutes before the audition started. Somehow, he had ended up on the catwalk holding a stack of painstakingly organized gels over the edge as if he were about to drop them.

Now, Albert was not the most organized lighting technician and he did enjoy a bit of mischief every now and then, but only if he was the one pulling the mischief. Plus, he had just organized all the gels and didn’t want to do that again. He’d much rather hide Spot’s keys in the janitor’s closet. So he did the natural thing.

“HEY BEANPOLE! IF YOU DROP THOSE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR HAIR AND FEED IT TO THE SPIDER IN THE BROOM CLOSET!”

The kid’s head snapped up. But, instead of looking like a squirrel about to be chased by a hungry seal shaped pitbull that smelled vaguely of thai food and cheese like the freshman did, the boy winked mischievously and let the gels dangel further over the edge. Then, in a singsong voice that Albert could only describe as the one belonging to his true Lord and Savior, Bill Wurtz (take that catholic church), said: “how bout I do anyway?”

Albert’s next insult died on his lips and he settled instead for glaring at the sexy beanpole with all the power of a pissed off techie.

“What?” The boy pouted, “can’t think of a good comeback?”

“Listen beanpole-”

“It’s Race.”

“Whatever.” Albert stomped down the catwalk in his black timbs, being sure to make as much noise as possible in order to attract the scattered actors below them. “Let it be known that while I did appreciate your history of japan quote, I do not appreciate your presence on my cat walk. And, if you to continue to dangle my gels over the edge like that, I will make sure you never get cast in Wanda’s World-”

“Its Animal Farm.”

“-and that you never get your clammy little paws on a single ounce of weed during your time in this hellhole. Capisce?”

“Weed is for losers,” Race said, thwacking the pile of gels on the catwalk with a muffled bang, scattering the top ones, much to Albert’s dismay. “I prefer vape myself, much more sleek and trendy.” Then, much to Albert’s surprise, he winked, turned on his heel, and exited the catwalk, tipping an imaginary hat before descending the stairs back down into the auditorium.

“Well fuck him right in the nipple,” Albert cursed to himself as he scooped up the pile of gels and stalked back to the lighting booth where he threw them unceremoniously on the ground - he’d sort back through them later. Instead, he sat on his beloved spinny chair that he had stolen from his history teacher back in 9th grade, wrapped the blue fuzzy blacket around himself he’d stolen from Spot last year, threw his feet up on the lightboard, and resolved himself to watching the auditions.

Race, apparently, had been correct, the musical was a rendition of Animal Farm. Although, why someone would write a musical version of a book about a bunch of patronizing pigs making everyone call each other comrade was beyond him.

Albert gradually began to tune out the auditions eventually pulling his beats from around his neck onto his ears and playing random indie songs instead of listening to the screeching below him.

However, once Race took the stage he paused his music out of curiosity. If he was going to have to deal with this kid all year, he might as well see if he had any talent. However, when he heard the opening chords of what was unmistakably a High School Musical song, he groaned and pulled his beats back on, cranking up the volume to drown out the atrocities of the shitty song.

This plan, however, was foiled when he found himself somehow singing a song that was not the one that was playing through his headphones. Initially, Albert ignored it, too dead set on his own blocking out of Race’s singing to care what his mouth was saying. But as it got progressively louder he ripped his beats off in frustration to see what exactly was going on.

To his utmost horror he realized that he was singing a duet with Race.

Albert’s stomach dropped. He knew exactly what this meant. And there was no way that it could be tue. It had to be a glitch. There was no way in hell that his soulmate was the same kid who had tantalized him on his very own catwalk with his precious lighting gels and a horrendous yet perfectly wonderful Bill Wurtz quote not a half hour before.

And there was absolutely no way that he was going to discover his soulmate by singing a high school musical song infront of all of his friends. No fucking way.

In a panic, Albert clapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds coming from it. That way he could play it off as if it had never happened and continue living his perfectly happy soulmate-less life.

Much to his relief, Race stopped singing mere moments later and he pulled his hand away from his mouth, taking a deep breath of relief. However, this was immediately converted back to anxiety as he began to sing the second verse of the song against his will.

“Take my hand, I’ll take the lead

And every turn, you’ll be safe with me

Don’t be afraid, afraid to fall,

You know I’ll catch you through it all”

Race’s head snapped up and a bright smile formed on his face as he continued to sing, heading toward the steps to the lighting booth. A hush had fallen over the auditorium. Albert briefly wished that he had not tried so hard to get excommunicated because maybe some divine power would have been able to save him from the embarrassment that he was about to experience.

“And you can’t keep-”

“Even a thousand miles can’t keep us apart

“Us apart, cause my heart is-”

“Cause my heart is wherever you are”

Vaguely, Albert heard the familiar clang of someone slowly mounting the steps to the catwalk and he attempted to duck his head further into his black sweatshirt to no avail.

“It’s like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you

It’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do

And with every step together, we just keep on gettin better

So i can i have this dance, can i have this dance?

Can i have this dance?”

Then, as if being in such close proximity to Rae had some profound influence on him, Albert felt his legs begin to carry him toward the catwalk and, subsequently, the annoying beanpole himself.

“Oh, no mountains too high and no oceans too wide

Cause together or not, our dance won’t stop

Let it rain, let it pour

What we have is worth fighting for

You know I believe that we were meant to be, yeah”

And then, somehow, it was one of those Dramatic Theater Scenes™ that Albert usually hated so much, but somehow he didn’t mind this time. This must have been the feeling that his friends had so often described to them upon finding their soulmates: complete euphoria, as if nothing in the world existed except for them.

Albert found himself getting closer and closer to Race until they were practically ontop of eachother, his hands clutching at Race’s green minecraft shirt as they continued to sing, oblivious to the audience that they had accumulated.

“It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you

Like you

It’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way, the way we, we do

And with every step together, we just keep on gettin better

So can I have this dance, can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?”

The auditorium below them erupted in a chorus of cheers and Albert felt his face blush bright red under his black beanie, causing him to pull away from Race as he returned to reality. Startled, Race looked at him, but then his face transformed into the mischievous smirk that Albert was beginning to suspect was customary for him.

“Guess you wanna save face in front of all your friends, huh? A badass like you can’t have feelings and all that.” He winked and Albert rolled his eyes. “That’s okay, you don’t have to kiss me now if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

Now it was Albert’s turn to roll his eyes as he hovered his lips mere inches from Race’s and said the same thing that he had been told not too long ago: “how bout I do anyway?” and smashed their lips together, earning a loud round of applause from the crown below and one lone whoop from Spot.

As Albert was passionately mushing his lips against his soulmate, he couldn’t help but think to himself, maybe high school musical wasn’t so bad after all.

_______

im actually low key proud of this like maybe I still know how to write lol

feedback is always appreciated, hmu to be on the tag list

tag list

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@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@nico-nat

[jungwooswift]

What happened with Fallout 76? Is it really that bad or something? I think I’ve only played like one Fallout game so I don’t know much about these 🤷‍♀️

My dude, it is a disaster of epic proportions. Originally, the problem was that Bethesda took what was most beloved about the game series (the diverse and interesting NPCs, the intricate plots, the settlement-building) and completely nixed it, turning a rich, story-based offline RPG into a really weird online game. People were disappointed by that alone. But then things got... Crazy. See, Bethesda is kind of known for having buggy games with holes and glitches the size of Texas (and they relay on players to mod and patch things for them) but this game was just BROKEN. The day it was officially released, it required a 56 GB patch. 56 GB. That's bigger than the game itself. It was a giant mess. People were so upset they bought this game. Within two weeks, it went from $60 to $45. Right now, I think it's even less than that. That's UNEHARD OF. It got ABYSMAL scores on IGN and Gamestop with another notable videogame site refusing to rate it at all because they didn't want to be forced to play it anymore. The Fallout subreddit became a graveyard of hope and a place to report absurd bugs and new, lower prices from Microsoft.

But! You might be saying by can't possibly get worse, right? Wrong! Because Bethesda also did this cool bundle where you paid $200 and got all this rad merch, including a very nice canvas bag. So people dropped two bills and when they received their goods, that canvas bag was actually made of cheep, wrinkled plastic. And people were (are) understandably pissed. One screenshot of an interaction with Bethesda support had a representative say that the bag in the photo was merely a prototype and that there are no plans to do anything about it. THEN, in a sad attempt at placating its players, Fallout offered 500 in-game points as an apology present... But those 500 points are only enough to buy a player a packet of seeds and a door for their in-game shack. Ironically, it's not even enough to unlock the postman skin that FEATURES that same canvas bag...

So! In conclusion, Fallout 76 is an unprecedented flop of epic proportions and there's now a class-action lawsuit in the works for the people who bought that bundle. And all I can say is I'm so so so fucking glad I'm poor and couldn't afford to purchase the pre-order in October/November because my dumb little heart would be broken if I shelled out money I didn't have on a game that is basically a wet cardboard box with a Vault-Tec logo spray-painted on the side.

[yakumtsaki]

There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.

Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!

..spoke too soon.

-Is it still there, is it still there??

-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!

-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??

After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!

-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?

That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.

-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.

-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.

-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.

..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.

-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what.. It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.

Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.

I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!

OH COME ON

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT

-Huhu!

How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW

-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!

..well you got me there.

Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.

-No, it’s on YOU.

No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.

-NO THEY’RE NOT

I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU

And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-What?? I love babies :)

I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.

Oh. my. god. 

-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!

-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo.. 

We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.

Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.

-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT

NEVER

Whachu doing Vic?

-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..

Well goodbye Daniel I guess!

-..Who the fuck is Daniel?

-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.

-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns. 

Name one.

-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.

Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.

-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.

UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D

Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG

-I’m legit fine with this :)

I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.

You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.

Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.

Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.

..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.

-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER

-I may be a cheating bâtard-

-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT

AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!

It was one for the history books! 

-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.

Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.

-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Is it.. rewriting your article?

-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD

Great. Speaking of blood-

-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:

Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.

-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??

Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:

Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT

-YOUR SOULS

Good luck finding any in this house.

-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.

-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND

Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.

-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.

-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..

-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE

-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu! 

-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.

-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!

-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.

-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..

-Pourquoi?

-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!

-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!

-I hate my life.

That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.

KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.

-So this is it. Rock bottom. 

I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.

Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR

-K.O

Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.

-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.

Ok, see you soon.

Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.

-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL

It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.

-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP

-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.

-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS

It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?

FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo! 

..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.

-The boy’s just following his heart ;)

Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.

Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.

Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.

Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.

-I want to play a game, Alegra.

Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!

-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!

-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.

Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.

Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.

-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull. 

You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

-What?

What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!

-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?

Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.

I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.

-VICTORIA UNION

-Marisa? Is that you?

-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..

-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL

-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?

-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT

-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA

-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?

-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES

The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.

Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..

Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.

-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.

Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.

Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔

Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:

Tell me how am supposed to live without you, now that I've been loving you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on, when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔

FUCK YOU FLORENCE

Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING

Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.

Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.

Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?

OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK

-Huhu! 

NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US

Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.

-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-

-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.

-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.

-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM

KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.

Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-

-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.

Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close. 

Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.

And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔

[mfangeleeta]

Last Call for Vodka Update

Taking a pause from the super fun Some Sort of Au with @beatricethecat2 for my first update to Last Call for 2017. We’ve got a lot going on in this one. m. A one shot in my favorite universe, Somewhere in London, a season 4 cannon divergence, a cannon contemplation in two parts and alternative to the season that dare not speak its name.  This is also based on one of my all time favorite Bjork albums on repeat. Thanks for reading! 

Homogenic

If travel is searching and home what’s been found, I’m not stopping

The prep for assignments was for most the worst part of the job. You would have to study, plan, observe and repeat for months in order for things to go off without a glitch.

Or without you getting caught.

HG stood and stretched her back. She’d been working on an assignment in Peru that Yuri had begrudgingly given her. He had warned that she was too new as a solo act in the business and that this particular target had proved treacherous for the previous two people assigned this job.

One had been killed in action, the other caught and now sat in prison.

Her predecessors, despite their immense skill and experience, had clearly not set themselves up for success.  The terrain was tricky, the locals untrustworthy, and the escape routes extremely limited.

The prep was the worst part for most, for almost all but HG thrived on it. The careful study and observation, sussing out patterns and misdirection.  Finding those locals who could not only be bought but be swayed to her perception.  Creating escape routes where none thought possible.

That was what she enjoyed most, the planning. Execution was just a pull of a trigger or drop of a poison. That was the easiest part of any job. It was everything else that she lived for.

It was almost-almost-as good as an artifact hunt. Prowling the streets of London with Wolly or McShane or Donnelly.  Searching back alleys or roughing up those who weren’t corporative. Almost as good as those days.

But not quite.

Grabbing a water from the fridge she sat back down at her kitchen table. Pictures, maps and blue prints scattered behind her laptop.  Post it notes with comments and observations covering the table.  She touched a key and the computer sprang to life. It looked  as if she’d finally broken through the firewall. Soon she would have access to her target’s travel plans.

Settling in she refocused on the task at hand . Peru. The impossible target.

She was going hunting.

 You don’t have to speak, I feel

She was back, Helena was back from God knows where and Myka didn’t quite know what to do with herself.

There were hugs and some tears and an embarrassing celebration dance by Pete but Myka still couldn’t quite feel like this wasn’t some artifact induced hallucination.

In all of the excitement she’d been able to avoid speaking with Helena for any great length of time.  Despite being a member of two consecutive Warehouses there was still a considerable amount of paper work to complete and the Regents had to meet before everything could become official.

So after a mid morning surprise and a celebratory lunch in Univille, Helena had been whisked away by Artie and Mrs. Fredric and Myka was left to ponder what to do next in Summers 314.

They had never said anything or done anything that indicated that they could be more but Myka knew deep down that no one else ever had made her feel like Helena had.

A simple look would make her breath catch. A simple touch on the shoulder would make her head spin. And when she smiled.

Well, Myka didn’t want to think about those things at work.

 But they had never said or done ANYTHING that indicated they could be more.

 But why would Helena offer to sacrifice herself in the forest? And why did she keep having those horrible nightmares about Helena saving them all while she died in a fire?

For a moment she let herself remember that gut wrench dream and she nearly cried in the middle of the Warehouse.

They had never said or done anything that indicated that they could be more but Myka couldn’t wait any longer to find out.  She had to know.

Tonight after dinner, they would talk.

 I’m a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl

She loved Myka. Despite the darkness and the madness and the unquenchable thirst for the end of all things she loved Myka.  They had never discussed it, only acted on it with a few hasty and stolen kisses while on missions or at the bed and breakfast.

But her empty soul still held one spark of warmth for the thoroughly modern woman who was all that she’d hoped and dreamed for in the bronze.

Love was a distraction. A complication. Something that she was not capable of.

Yet here she was at Charles de Gaulle, the parts of the Minoan trident wrapped and packaged for transport to the Colonies.  She had been researching the most effective location for the strike and the semi-dormant caldera under Yellowstone National Park was perfect.

 She was in love with Myka Bering.

 Frowning, she pulled out her notebook to review her plans and countermeasures. The compact was already on its way to Pete’s paramour as a distraction. Knowing that Myka would never leave her partner in a desperate moment of need, she was sure she would be free to complete her mission. One that she’d dreamt about for over a century.

 The destruction of the world.

She was in love with Myka Bering.

 She had never met another who could challenge her, question her thought process while understanding it simultaneously.  Someone who could keep up with her in all aspects-mental, physical, spiritual-and was a liberated woman, free of familial and romantic entanglement.  Yes, it had taken her a few moments to process that her most beloved author was a woman but once that hurdle was overcome, it had been glorious. Not since her brother had she sparred and analyzed her thought processes for story concepts and the science behind them.

 She must avenge her daughter and reset this Godforsaken world.

She was in love with Myka Bering.

 Baby, you can’t handle love, it’s obvious

She supposed this was the anger part the five stages of grief.  

They had been so carefree, so perfect, so everything that Myka had wanted before Egypt and Yellowstone. For one bright and beautiful moment she’d let herself think of the possibility of forever.

(Well that had been an unmitigated disaster.)

So then she made due with a “consciousness” in what Claudia had called a Pokeball.  Helena in holographic form appearing from time to time to help their little Scooby Gang solve the artifact mystery of the weak.  The Horn had been rough but after than things seemed to settle.

Pete relented in his hatred and Claudia toned down the hero worship.

And you were skilled enough to hide the bitterness and pain that HG Wells brought to your world.

Then Emily Lake and Sykes and “old times” had given you a glimmer of hope.  After much soul searching you’d forgiven Helena of her trespasses because part of you (the incredibly foolish and childish part) had thought there still might be a future.

But as quickly as you’d vanquished Walter Sykes, your artificer had been taken away by the Regents. You knew (because you had pestered) that Artie had pushed for HG’s reinstatement as an Agent but instead she’d been given a special top secret mission.

Fuck all that.

Of course everything became clear thanks to Artie’s brush with madness. How this had been the timeline he’d created thanks to Helena’s ultimate sacrifice that made it possible. How he had changed time to make sure the Warehouse survived.

And how the love of your life had given hers to save you.  At least Artie had been honest about that part.

(And there was not enough time to process how you really felt about that. Jesus Christ on a cracker.)

 But that had been half a year and a lifetime ago. Helena had told you that Nate was an ordinary yet a good man. That Adelaide was a great kid. And that Boone, Wisconsin was where she had felt the most welcome, the most at home in this century.

And you wanted to barf. To punch something. To call Helena on her bullshit.

But you couldn’t because damn it all to hell you still loved her. And knew that at some point she’d realized the gigantic lie she was telling herself.

 Twist your head around, it’s all around you, all is full of love

You looked over at the woman who has captured your soul as you packed up the world you had known in this century.  In a past life you had helped select the very ground that the Warehouse had been built on. And at one point you might have held sway over the first generation of Agents who walked its aisles, but madness and bronze closed that door to you decades ago.

Instead you find yourself guiding a 26 year old in the art of training new Agents as you pack up centuries of history and magic. Given the current political climate in the United States it had been determined that Warehouse 14 was needed. After careful deliberation (and consideration for things such as climate change and population distribution)  Botswana would be its new home. And as with all Warehouse relocations, the home country chose its Agents.

Which left one of the most decorated and most vilified Agents in the history of the Warehouse without employment or a permanent residence. (The Bed and Breakfast would close since Abigail wanted to resume her career in photography.)

Pete and Steve had signed on to train the next generation of the Warehouse. This new world and new location would need the best of the best and the partnership of Latimer and Jinks had proven almost as skilled as Wells and Wolcott.

With far less insanity and time traveling tendencies.

So your main enterprise, the one that had sent you traveling the path of endless wonder. The occupation that had sent you through time both literally and figuratively was over.  There was no more need to traipse across the globe in hunt of curiosities.  

That job was complete and it was on to your most important task next to being a mother.

Loving Myka Bering (now Bering-Wells).

A job that you took far more seriously than any other in the 20th or the 21st century.

 “This is the last of it,” Myka sealed the final box in your shared room.  “Hard to believe our lives are over.”

“Far from it my love,” you smile, “we have just begun.”

[knghtlock]

anyways super loose and fast post about hotaru’s super that i’m gonna use going forward+ other notes about hotaru’s light / cyborg physiology that i weirdly haven’t made until now under the cut 

> [ singsong voice ] mothafuckin’ liiiiight construuuucts! i just think it’d be very hilarious if the last thing you see is like, hotaru cloaked in arc energy with a hilariously giant sword made of arc-infused hard light. it’s a very versatile super and it’s why she survived the pre-city age.

> yes, hard light is what i call the light constructs from the eververse emotes. i’ve long made it part of hotaru’s character that polaris-1 is just a glorified light construct overlayed on hotaru so she doesn’t get shot on sight, because let’s be real, the destiny universe at large has the overall philosophy of Shoot What I Don’t Understand First, Ask Questions Later.

> i also realized that i never meta’d on why hotaru can make such elaborate constructs. okay, long story short: hotaru’s cybernetics create bioelectricity, and when she became a guardian, this messes with her ability to use the traditional warlock supers.... on top of an excessive generation of hard light. i need to stop keeping all the lore in my head and writing it down.

>like, what the fuck is a warlord going to do against a tiny feral guardian that summoned a mirror image of herself with a giant sword. 

>is this influenced by my innate love of the concepts introduced by CoO, the way the pokemon anime makes double team the coolest fucking move every time it’s on screen even if it sucks ass in the games, and my dmc5 playthrough? yes, yes it is.

>but also, why the fuck do guardians seemingly only use hard light for meme emotes???? why is TESS, of ALL PEOPLEallowed to gatekeep the light. god some parts ofdestiny just don’t translate well into Destiny The In-Game Universe and i will forever be pissed over things like this because i am cursed with Overthinking Things About The Space Rooty Tooty Loot And Shooty game, so like. fuck you [ gives my guardian the ability to turn herself into a one woman army ]

> i do think that her super has heavy limitations. for example, she can’t make a bigass wall and then Shadow Clone Jutsu herself. it’s a super that’s as powerful as her will and creativity, but limited by the physical constraints of her body and cyborg physiology. 

>this does mean that hotaru can literally act as an Army Of One, but with heavy consequences to herself afterwards. you know how anger-inducing it is as a chaos reach main to just. NOT be able to hit this one asshole on the enemy team that ducks behind cover to fucking snipe you? yeah, if she can’t get to you, she’s very dead. all of her supers have a “hotaru has to kill you or She Is Fucked” vibe and i live for it. this super isn’t any different, but it’s also FINALLY not running into the problem where i try not to come up with fists of havoc 2: slightly to the left for the 80th time and inevitably realize that i did. it’s also slightly more hilarious because she was originally a titan before i touched the destiny games themselves.

>hotaru still fires grenades like fingergun bullets because that’s just dope. also it’s iconic at this point, who would i be without my beloved fingerguns cyborg.

>i may rework her ability to “glitch” herself into arc energy? like it’s still cool  and slightly hilarious that post a highly traumatic incident, sometimes her body just. turns into arc energy before slapping itself back together. also kinda goes hand in hand with you don’t wanna fight this Ye Olde Wolf but also how is this absolute disaster The Guardian  theme hotaru has, but also i’m literally giving her a light construct super, that’s a little much. 

>yes, she still overclocks her generator to do it and still suffers 2-5 seconds of immobility while her generator reboots. it’s the consistent theme across literally all of the iterations of guardian hotaru i’ve had because MAN she’s absolutely nasty to deal with!!!!! 

> fun fact: it’s also why her generator exists. it’s a larger, WORSE critspot.

> i’ll probably write a better post when im not sleep deprived

>hotaru as a terrifying muse of power my beloved <3

[wepinkcollectivecollectorpo-blog]

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