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#go on ANOTHER adventure because now you know magic is real and your dad wasn't crazy. find out the woman who raised you was a traitor
gender-euphowrya · 9 months
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lara croft is such a funny character like this girl has never had a fucking break in her life
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randomshyperson · 3 years
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The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - Chapter 18 - Part XVII - Agatha's Memories (Part One)
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Gif is not mine, but Pinterest would let me give credits to the gif maker, so bless you wherever you are friend.
Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.
Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies. || Chapter Warnings: mentions of violence, manipulation of will and consent.
Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist
Chapter 18 - Part XVII - Agatha's Memories (Part One)
You thought you were going to fall asleep for a long time.
But as soon as your eyes closed, you felt the urge to open them again, as if being pulled out of your rest. The same feeling of being woken up in the middle of a dream.
“Wanda?” You called as soon as you saw around, and she was already next to you, her hand on your face, smiling gently as she helped you stand still. “Where are we?”
“Agatha’s memories I think.” She said and you followed her eyes, only now realizing it was Hogwarts where you two were. You recognize the corridor from the seventh floor, because of the positions of the towers outside. “We should go this way, follow the fire.”
You notice that only the candles in that direction were on, so you nod, Wanda kept her hand on yours all the way to the small door ajar at the end of the wall.
Inside, it was not empty. Wanda got in first, as if checking if anything would happen if she interrupted it, but it was just a memory, and it continued to happen as if you two were not there.
“Dad.” You whisper in shock as you step in. Your father was sitting in one of the chairs, a ravenclaw tie loosened in his neck, a curious look on his face. He was about your age.
But the grip on your hand tightens, and you then realize the other wizards inside as well.
Erik, covered in soot just like your dad, had his wand in hands, and Agatha in the front of the room.
The witch stood with her arms crossed, a disapproving look on her face. And you noticed that the boys were crestfallen, and understood that they had just been caught.
"Sorry for the delay, Agatha, I came as soon as I got your note." Said a male voice behind you, and you held your breath as you looked.
It was Mephisto, but he looked nothing like the scary man in the long cape and red eyes you are familiar with. He was just an adult with dark brown eyes, a stern look, and a tired face. He wore the clothes of his time, but on his necktie he had a hydra's brooch.
"No problem, Faustus." Agatha assured with a smile as the man walked in and closed the door. "Mr. Stark and Mr. Lehnsherr didn't mind waiting."
"What happened to your robes, boys?" Mephisto asked them curiously, and Erik, who was cleaning his wand on his cloak, replied first.
"A little accident, sir." He answered almost shyly. It was strange to see him like that, so young. "Howie and I are very sorry for the mess."
"Apologies are not enough, Mr. Lehnsherr." Agatha warns seriously. "If I hadn't interrupted the experiment, you guys would have blown up the whole floor."
"But we are sorry, Mrs. Harkness." Repeated your father, but he didn't seem to be really upset.
"When I gave you permission to continue with your research after what happened in the fourth year, I trusted that you would never again risk the safety of your colleagues, gentlemen." Agatha continued firmly. "I am beginning to rethink my decision."
"No!" Erik and Howard exclaimed together, which caused Agatha to raise her eyebrow. Your father cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Please, Headmistress. It was just this once, and it was for a good reason!" He declares looking suddenly excited. "We found something!"
Your father hurried to reach the back of the room, and only now did you notice the molten metal studded in the wall, as if something had exploded there a few minutes ago.
"The map, Miss Harkness, did not show this part of the castle." He told with a smile, touching the wall. "Erik and I wanted to find out why. But we couldn't break the wall with spells, so we tried using a machine."
Agatha sighed, massaging her temple as Mephisto smiled at the whole scene. "You two and your antics with metal." He commented casually, and you were almost startled by the whole thing. The greatest dark wizard of all time, smiling tenderly at two students.
"What did you find, boys?" He asked curiously, and your father hurried to pull the metal out of the wall, and with some effort, a large hole was exposed in the concrete.
"I don't know what's in there, but it's not an empty room." Howard says. "And every time we peek in it seems to turn into something else."
"What are you waiting for?" Mephisto asks excitedly. "Let's go in."
Whatever your father had built was destroyed by a powerful spell, and melted against the wall. So Agatha and Mephisto recited some incantations together against the wall, and the hole opened up into a door.
And you widened your eyes.
"Wanda, is that the...?"
"Room of Requirement" She concluded as shocked as you were, walking to keep up with the wizards who were hurrying into the place.
And unlike the living room you knew, or the dueling room Wanda was familiar with from the order, the room of requirement was completely different. It was dark, and crowded. Piles and piles of the most diverse objects scattered around, like a magical garbage dump. But it wasn't junk at all.
It was books, shiny objects, all sorts of things. You think you even saw a chest of gold before you turned your attention to the group in front of you, stunned by such a discovery.
" Impressive, boys." Agatha commented almost proudly, and then assumed a serious expression. "Go back to your dormitories now".
"But, Professor-" They started together but Agatha looked at them with repression, gesturing.
"We don't know the origin of the items in that place, gentlemen." She clarified. "The teachers will ascertain that there is nothing here that could injure them. If there is no danger, you, as well as the rest of the school, will be allowed to be here. But for now, back to your dorms, or you will receive a month's detention."
The boys were upset, and you swallowed dryly at the image of your father sulking like a kid. Or better yet, he really was. Just a kid.
Your gaze followed him as he walked out beside Erik, the two of them whispering softly, and you sighed, feeling your eyes fill with tears watching him go. Wanda wiped away the tear that ran down, looking at you tenderly.
"Hey, are you alright?" She asked but you just nodded, grateful for her touch. Your father is dead, and this is no time to try to cling to another witch's memories of him.
"Yes, let's keep going." You said kissing her palm on your cheek before intertwining your hands, turning your attention back to the memory.
Without the boys, you noticed that Mephisto's posture changed.
He looked nervous, or perhaps almost fascinated by everything around him, as if he didn't know what to touch first.
"Faustus, where do we start?" Agatha asked next, as impressed as he was, looking around at the piles.
Mephisto seemed almost surprised at her speech. "I thought you were going to call the rest of the faculty, Agatha."
The witch laughed lightly. "And risk them agreeing to censor this place? No way. You and I will take a peek first. Collect anything that has the appearance of something the ministry of magic could ban."
You jumped in fright when someone tapped your shoulder, instinctively covering Wanda, but it was only Agatha. The real one, with a friendly posture.
"That was my mistake, children." She says nostalgically, watching the memory as well. "I should have called the teachers."
"What did you find here, Agatha?" Wanda asked a moment later, when you stood back upright as you recovered from your fright.
"Everything."
The memory around you trembled, as if Agatha decided to change it to hurry things. Soon, you find yourself staring at the image of her and Mephisto sitting in front of a table, in what you reckon was his office.
“It’s strange, Agatha.” The man said. “All pages are blank, but I can sense the magic.”
“Tried any remove concealment spells?” Agatha asked as Mephisto agreed, looking frustrated as both of them gazed at the open book at the table.
Agatha leaned over to reach an inkwell, knocking over the paper. She smiled as the ink vanished.
“See, it’s absorbing it.” She says. “So you just gonna give something in return for him to provide your answers.”
Mephisto laughs lightly, commenting that Agatha always found a way to surprise him. You wanted to throw up.
He took his wand from his jacket, and held it out to his own hand, cutting it as he leaned toward the book.
As his blood dripped onto the pages, the paper filled with ink, and the sorcerers let out contented exclamations.
"The book of the damned." Mephisto read it carefully, and then smiled at Agatha. "Sounds promising."
"I'll bet you three galleons it's ritualistic magic." The witch retorted, making the other laugh.
"Five galleons that it's alchemy." He replied smiling before turning his attention back to the book.
Before you could comment on your indignation at seeing them bet on something so absurd, the memory changed again.
You and Wanda had watched the flashes of the two sorcerers studying in that room, reading the darkhold, and other books as well. Sometimes they would leave, probably to teach their classes, but would return to their reading. You saw the moon appear several times in the window, and counted at least fourteen nights before the memory stabilized in front of you again.
Agatha looked nervous, crossing her arms as she stared at Mephisto.
"I just think there's something strange going on, Faustus!" She spoke up, but only received a bored expression. "The dead unicorns in the forest, the blood moon! I'm worried about the students."
"You are just scared, Agatha!" He sneered cruelly. "We finally found something worthwhile in this castle! We can't stop now."
But Agatha frowned, "Hogwarts has always been worthwhile to me, Faustus. I made it clear to you when we started this, that I wasn't going to do anything that would put the school at risk."
"It's only a castle, Agatha!" He retorts impatiently. "Old stones piled up. Stop acting like it's the holiest place in the world. What we find here, what's in that book, in those chests, is more than any other sorcerer has ever found. It is something from the ancients, things that Merlin would doubt."
"Merlin is dead, Faustus." Agatha retorted, looking at her friend with a neutral expression. "And I don't intend to have the same fate. I want to live. Like Morgana did."
Mephisto rolled his eyes. "Death doesn't have to be the end, old friend."
Agatha frowned in confusion, and Mephisto moved to reach the darkhold on the highest shelf. "We both won the bet after all. But I found more. Here look, Agatha. It's necromancy."
The witch stared wide-eyed, taking a step back as soon as Mephisto held out the item to her.
"I don't study this kind of thing, Faustus." She said in shock, which made Mephisto laugh incredulously.
"Don't give me puritism, now, Agatha." He retorted still with the book open in his arm. "How many rituals have you performed? Necromancy is the exact same with a little more power."
Agatha shook her head. "Crossing the line of death condemns the witch to-"
"To eternal suffering?" He interrupted in mockery. "What is that, Agatha? Pagan Christianity? You're hanging out too much with those mudbloods."
The principal clenched her jaw. "Don't forget I'm a half-blood, Faustus."
But the wizard only rolled his eyes. "Muggles talk about hell, and heaven like they know any shit about magic. Fools. They and all witches who bow to myths like those. I do not need to fear any punishment if I never die."
"Everything that lives must die, Faustus." Agatha retorted seriously. "You can't change that, no matter how hard you try. And you are not the first to do so."
Mephisto rolled his eyes, and assumed a defensive posture. "I'll be the first to succeed then, Agatha."
"Fau-"
But they are interrupted by a knock on the door, and Mephisto quickly hides the book behind his body.
You are surprised to see Thor's father, and your former Astronomy teacher, Odin, enter. And he looked disturbed.
"Headmistress, professor, sorry for the intrusion." He speaks hurriedly. "We need help downstairs, it's the Lehnsherr girl."
Your frown, and the memory changed just as the teachers rushed to leave the room.
When the image stabilized again, you felt Wanda squeeze your hand to get your attention.
"Y/N, it's my Aunt Raven." She spoke over the girl lying on the ward bed in front of you two.
"What happened to her?" Agatha asks the group around you. You are startled when you notice your father standing right next to you.
"I don't know, professor." It is Erik who answers with desperation. "We were playing Quiddicht, and Ray dived in to get the snitch. But her eyes started glowing and she fell."
An orange-eyed black woman you didn't know approached, and you imagined she was the healer of that time. Agatha turned to her immediately.
“Katherine, do you know what’s wrong?” Agatha asked worried but the woman shook her head, moving quickly to put the basin of hot water on the headboard beside Raven's bed, and wet a towel she placed on the girl's forehead, making you understand that she must have had a fever.
"It's dark magic, principal, that I'm sure of." The nurse replied. "The girl has marks on her back, but the boys couldn't tell if she messed with something she shouldn't have."
You noticed the look Erik exchanged with Agatha, but neither he nor the principal said anything.
"What kind of enchantment is it?" Mephisto asked, but unlike Agatha's worried tone, he seemed almost in a hurry to get out of there right away.
"I don't know, professor-"
"What kind of healer are you, Fury?" he interjected angrily, shocking those present for a brief second, before Agatha pulled him by the forearm away, almost at the door in the infirmary.
"Don't you dare talk to my employees like that, Faustus." She warns between teeth, but the man looks impatient.
"She needs to find out what's wrong here, Agatha." He retorts without caring about her previous words. "If the girl goes to St.Mungus, it will raise questions. And I know you don't want the ministry going through your drawers."
Agatha squinted her eyes at him, being quiet for a moment.
"Miss Lehnsherr is part of your potions club, Faustus." She begins. " Do you have any idea if she has tried some potion she shouldn't have?"
The man clenches his jaw, but his pallor betrays him, and both you and Wanda and Agatha realize this.
"Don't be ridiculous." He says offended, but keeps his tone low so as not to be heard by the others. "I have nothing to do with it."
"I think that better be true, Faustus." It is Agatha's last warning before she turns back to Raven, and the memory changes again.
You almost lost your balance this time, as you appeared on a staircase, but Wanda held you by the waist, and you shyly turned to her.
Pushing away any thoughts inappropriate for the moment, you turned your attention to the boy a few feet away, who was climbing the steps, but stopped when Agatha called out to him.
"Yes, Professor?" Erik asked, sounding troubled.
"It's about your sister, Mr. Lehnsherr." Agatha says, and lowers her tone as she leans in. "I need to ask you something, and you need to be honest."
Erik nods frantically, a mixture of curiosity and concern in his gaze.
"Kat-Mrs. Fury." Agatha corrected herself before continuing. "She investigated the marks on Raven's back. They are claw marks, Erik. Werewolf claws."
Erik clenched his jaw, and looked down at the floor.
"Professor I-"
"Don't lie, Erik." She asks seriously. "I'll know if you do. What I need to find out is how there is a werewolf inside the castle."
"It wasn't a werewolf, Professor." He says and then takes a deep breath, looking up at the top of the school, as if checking to see if they really were alone. "It was a big wolf, but not a werewolf. It was an animagus."
Agatha frowns, and Erik continues. "Please, professor, apologize to me in advance, I shouldn't have agreed to this whole story." He starts nervously. "B-but Howey thought we wouldn't have any problems if we did everything right, but then Professor Faustus found out and told us our secret was safe and-"
"What are you talking about, Erik?"
Wanda's father swallowed dryly, but looked at Agatha. "Howey and I thought it was unfair for you to forbid us to continue studying wizard mechanics in the castle after we found the treasure room for you. So we decided to continue studying elsewhere."
Agatha clenched her jaw, but Erik kept talking.
"We tried the forbidden forest, but Howey pissed off the acromantulas." He counters with a guilty look. "Professor Faustus was in the forest, and he saved our asses. He said he would keep our secret if we kept his."
"What is Faustus' secret?" Agatha asked immediately, and Erik looked away to the ground.
"I don't judge, and I didn't understand why, but the professor was drinking unicorn blood." He counters. "I found him on top of the poor animal, it looked like a vampire. He told us he was sick."
Agatha sighs, closing her eyes for a moment.
“What else, Erik?”
“He said that you knew the castle too much, you knew every creature.” The boy continues. “Professor Faustus suggested we learn how to hide inside the forest. But we didn’t know any spells like this, so he taught us about animagi.”
Agatha bited her lip thoughtfully, waiting for Erik to continue.
“He helped us with everything, the spells, the potions.” He added. “And my sister joined us as well, and honestly, Ray is way better at this than us. When we finally did it, professor Faustus was impressed but he kind of kept us apart, and only seemed interested in talking to Ray about it, probably because she can turn into any animal she wants now.”
The professor widened her eyes to this. “Really?” She asks impressed, but quickly converts to a more impassive expression. “What about you and Mister Stark?”
“Just one.” He says and you realize that he doesn’t want to actually share what animal he and your dad can turn into so Agatha won’t know. And the headmistress doesn't ask further either.
She just takes a deep breath, and straightens her posture. “I decided to ban the experiments because the safety of your colleagues has been compromised, Erik. And clearly I was right.”
Erik seemed really embarrassed as he had thick tears in his eyes. “We didn’t mean any harm, professor.”
“Intentions don’t really matter now, do they, mister Lehnsherr?” She accuse with sarcasm, but she sighs, returning to a more friendly posture. “How did Raven get the marks?”
“We were playing quidditch in the florest, professor.” The boy tells with hesitation. “But Howey and I were trying different things, new enchantments to make the game more fun. A faster golden snitch and a bludger that can part into three when hitted correctly. Stuff we could sell once we leave Hogwarts.” He clarifies.
“As if Quidditch is not dangerous enough.” Wanda mutters to you, making you smile.
“But we lost the snitch in the woods.” Erik continues. “And of course we couldn't leave it there, it was our first prototype. So we turned into animals, but something got wrong. With me.”
“What Erik?”
“He lost his consciousness.” It was not Erik who answered but your dad, coming from the stair behind you. He looked upset, his eyes matched yours and you felt your heart race, even though you knew he was just seing Erik. “Good afternoon, professor.”
“Howey-”
“It’s okay, Erik.” Your dad says with a smile. “It is also your secret to share, and maybe we took this too far.”
“I expected you two to clarify this soon before I expelled you both.” Agatha cuts the conversation quickly, looking impatily. Your dad takes another step.
“It was the blood moon, professor.” He said. “It messed with our heads. I got nauseous, almost passed out when I transfigured myself. But Erik lost his mind entirely. Ray was better at this than us, but she also got a bit slow, I think. That’s how Erik got to her.”
“We fought, professor.” Erik clarified, almost disgusted with himself. “I attacked her like an animal.”
“And then?”
“We didn’t know what to do! It was a secret, so I ran straight to professor Faustus' office.” Erik says. “He came back to the forest, and when he saw Ray he said he would help. I don’t know how he did it, but she was fine for weeks. Until today, we’re playing and this happened.” He explains. “I was going to tell you everything back there. B-but professor Fastus whispered in my head to be quiet about the animagi.”
Agatha sighs, massaging her temples. “Great, fucking great.” She whispered to herself, then turned back to the boys. "That 's all?”
As they both nod, Agatha climbs the steps. "Go back to your dorms, I appreciate your honesty."
While the memory faded, you turned as you heard someone move next to you. It was Agatha, the real one.
“Please tell me you fired him after that.” You say to her but she just smirks, gesturing with her head for you and Wanda to look forward.
This time, it’s not Hogwarts. But a bar you have only been to once, the Hog’s Head Inn.
“Our interests are at odds, my friend." Agatha says in a warning tone to the wizard sitting across from her. "Faustus, don't make things harder for us, think of our friendship."
You notice that Mephisto now looks more like the wizard you know. His longer hair and scruffy beard give him a more grim-faced appearance, the dark marks under his eye and the bumps of his bones in his cheeks give him an anemic and sickly look. You deduce that it is the excess consumption of the darkhold.
He gives the teacher a humorless laugh, coughing lightly, and Agatha raises her eyebrow. "We were never friends, Harkness." He retorts. "We had an academic arrangement. And I'm just a professor in your fairy-tale castle."
"That's not true, Faustus." Agatha tries, but Mephisto just runs his hand across his face, throwing his hair back, and you notice the dark marks on his neck, his veins.
"He was dying." Wanda whispers beside you, noticing as well. "The book was killing him, Y/N."
"Exactly, Miss Maximoff." The real Agatha speaks next to you, the memory muffled as if you were underwater, the conversation no longer audible. "And so close to death, people begin to despair."
“I told you I was sorry about hiding the animagi issue, Agatha. Please do not bring up this subject again.” He says. Agatha reaches for his head over the table.
“Do not hurt my students again, Faustus.” She seriously tells him, and Mephisto looks even more tense. "Because if you do, we won't have any conversation at all."
Agatha looked ahead, and the memory changed again.
"I finally figured it out, Agatha!" You were startled when the image of Mephisto appeared so close, taking a step away.
It was a living room where you were now, and the witch had just opened the front door for the man, soaked from head to toe due to the storm outside.
You had never seen Agatha's house before, and were surprised to find that she had one, and did not live in the castle as you had assumed all these years. But these were not important questions, so you turned your attention to the memories going on around you.
"It's late, Faustus." Agatha complained, but made room for him to come in, using her wand to dry the water he brought on the floor and his clothes as well. "And it's summer. Can't this wait until we get back to Hogwarts?"
Mephisto shook his head in despair, and moved to the table in the center of the room. There, he deposited a necklace.
"It was there the whole time, Agatha." He recounted with fascination, laughing at such happiness. "I was reading, I felt feverish, but I knew I just needed some water. I tripped over the bookcase on the way, and that old hat fell off. And then the locket was at my feet." He narrates, taking the object between his fingers and placing it in the woman's field of vision. "It's his, Agatha. It belonged to Salazar Slytherin! Look at the serpent. I finally found it."
"That's..." Agatha began, touching the medallion with her fingers. "Impressive, I admit. But still, it's just a necklace, Faustus. You didn't have to come in this storm-"
"You don't understand!" He cuts in despair. "It's a worthy object, Agatha! Strong enough to guard my soul."
At that, Agatha's eyes widened in shock. " I beg your pardon?"
But Mephisto merely picked up the locket, smiling to himself, his eyes shining. "I learned how to avoid death, my friend. To conceal my soul into eternal parts, trapped in objects on this earth. I have been in search of the objects that might be strong enough to carry."
"Merlin...." Agatha whispered in horror, but Mephisto didn't even seem to be listening.
"The necklace will guard the first part." He continued. "I need to do it once to know exactly what price to pay. There are so few records about it. If the magic is not strong enough, I will repeat the spell as many times as ne-
The speech was interrupted by a loud sound. Agatha slapped him hard across the face, and the man blinked in shock for long seconds.
"You often forget who you are talking to, Faustus." Agatha says with a fury in her eyes that you have never seen before. And Mephisto clenches his jaw, but seems so in shock at the aggression that he says nothing. "You forget who I am, where I learned my magic from. I only realize now that you really don't have any respect for it."
The man assumes an almost apologetic expression, but Agatha speaks again before he can say anything.
"You think I don't know the art of necromancy?" She questions angrily. "That I have never seen a witch come back from the world of the dead? I dueled with the Inferi of Kang in the Independence of the Romanis Witches, while you were just an infant!" She squirms and Mephisto swallows dryly, looking almost ashamed. "Do you think I don't know the soul splitting spell? The atrocity that must be done? I know the price, you fool."
And then Mephisto's posture changes. He looks curious, and looks at Agatha as if he is begging.
"Tell me the price, old friend." He asks. "The book didn't tell me. I don't know how to complete the spell. Please, I need-"
The next slap seems harder than the first. But Mephisto just laughs, brushing his hair out of his face as Agatha looks at him angrily.
"I would never teach another sorcerer that magic." She declares. "Least of all to one I have once called friend."
Agatha takes a step to the side, signaling for Mephisto to leave, the door magically opens.
The wizard gives a humorless laugh, the medallion dangling from his fingers.
"You are just like everyone else, Agatha." He says as he looks at her again, but then shakes his head slightly. "Actually, I think it's even worse. Because the fools in the ministry are really stupid, but you know the magic spells. And you choose to keep them to yourself."
"If you follow through with that, I will make your words my own." Agatha says. "We won't be friends anymore, Faustus. Truly, you will be alone. And a necromancer is not welcome at Hogwarts."
"I have nothing to go on with if you won't help me." He sneers, taking a step to leave. In the rain, he turns to the witch again, with a sly smile. "But alone I always have been. That never stopped me before."
You watch him appear, and Agatha closes the door. Everything is muffled again, and you turn to the real witch who sat in one of the chairs, the sounds muted around you.
"What happened after that?" Wanda asks Agatha, who seems shaken by the memories, thoughtful. She doesn't look at the two of you, just moves her fingers.
And the sound of someone screaming makes your whole body shiver.
It is a child. She looks directly at you with a horrified look, and it takes a second for you to remember that she must be looking at something behind you.
Wanda turns around first, and the way she shakes your hand almost makes you give up looking as well.
There is the man on the ground, and you stumble away as you see the blood running near your feet, forgetting that it wasn't really going to touch you, that it was just a memory.
"This is T'Chaka, father of your herbology teacher." Agatha counters, sitting on a rock wall. You look around, but don't recognize the place.
"Where are we Agatha?" You ask, and then it occurs to you that you haven't seen the teacher anywhere.
"He used to be one of the most powerful wizards in Merlin's order." She continues, ignoring your question. "But he was gone in the snap of a finger."
You swallow dryly as you notice a man approach the body, wand in hand.
"Where are you at?" Wanda asks Agatha in confusion, and the teacher gives a sad smile.
"That memory is not mine, Miss Maximoff." She clarifies, finally standing up, and pointing in the opposite direction of the wizards, toward the village, but between the walls of the houses. "It's from the girl hiding among the bushes."
You and Wanda exchange shocked glances.
And the memory blurs around you. Agatha has her hand raised in the air. "I don't want you to put out what is in your stomachs with what he did here. Creating a horcrux is the greatest magical atrocity a wizard can commit." She says, and the memory begins to shift again. "Just know that he did it. Faustus made his first horcrux with the death of that man, almost twenty years ago in Godric's Hollow."
When everything stabilized around you again, you gasped as you recognized your garden.
“What the hell were you doing in my house Agatha?” You asked but the real one was no longer there. You were facing your front door with the memory one.
It was your grandfather who opened the door, and you felt your heart race a bit. You haven’t seen him since you’re six, maybe younger.
“Agatha!” He greeted excitedly, moving to hug the witch. “Finally, we were starting to worry you got lost, my friend!”
Your grandfather pulled her in, and you and Wanda followed the clue. The Stark mansion was all decorated with a Christmas theme, and there were at least twenty other people inside.
“I’m sorry for being late, I had a few things with the minister.” Agatha clarifies. “All those weird things going on in Scotland, he wanted a second opinion before involving the aurors. You know how mystery department employees are weird, Jöhann wanted to make sure it was the last option. Muggles get suspicious with the way they work."
The memory blurs a bit as your grandfather agrees, as if Agatha was speeding things up, and you and Wanda are able to watch the people move around, talking and partying for a minute before everything is estable again.
You both watch Agatha at the corner of the room, surrounded by three wizards you don’t know and your grandfather as well, talking so low that you suppose you’re only able to listen because Agatha was.
“They say it is a group of wizards, six of them, maybe seven.” You blink, only now realizing you do know this man. It’s Fury, but he’s different. Young, long hair. Both eyes. You think it is the cape that was covering him that made it difficult to see his face correctly. “I told the minister we should do things quietly, to avoid drawing attention, but now he’s involving the aurors, soon the rest of our community will hear about it.”
“He wanted my opinion on this, Fury.” Agatha said. “I agreed with his actions. We don’t know who is causing the murderings, and it could be a magical anomaly. The mystery departament will know what to do.”
But Fury shocked his head, leaning even more into the circle, as if about to tell a secret very important.
“It was no beast, or anomaly, my friends.” He whispers. “I had a field job with the red skulls. Despicable people if you ask me. But what matters is that they have privileges, free pass to the minister's files. They know it's a man who leads this group, there's no trace of the Imperius curse. They're there willingly, and if they're killing it's to prove something.”
“This is absurd, Fury.” It was your grandfather who said it, his tone was almost angry but the laugh on his face made Nick take a step back, as if being called a liar. “No one would dare to challenge the red skulls. I know we have our disagreements regarding our government, but what we all can agree that since the skull were formed, criminality has decreased to almost nothing. No one challenges Schmidt's aurors, either out of fear or respect. Let's not believe fairy tales about groups of evil villains killing for fun, this is not the middle ages."
But Nick Fury crossed his arms, looking at your grandfather seriously.
"It might be surprising to a man who stays locked up in his mansion to hear that crime has not decreased at all, Stark." He retorted, a tension growing in the group. "Life may have gotten better for the millionaire purebloods, but it has only gotten worse for the vast majority of wizard society, which in case you forget, is largely composed of half-bloods and muggle-born of limited money."
Your grandfather looked slightly embarrassed, but he didn't shy away, laughing ungraciously as he patted Fury on the shoulder.
"Come on, buddy, let's not spoil the party with such an unpleasant subject!" He says. "Here's what we'll do. Monday morning, I'll talk to some colleagues at the ministry. Maybe the Parkers know something. A private investigation, to avoid rumors like this. We can't let people think that both the minister and Merlin's order is losing influence, can we?"
Your grandfather, and the other witches you didn't know, left first, returning to the party, but Agatha stood next to Fury, and leaned toward him.
"Nick, ignore them." She asked in a low tone. " Is there something else you've found out?"
Fury sighed lightly. "Not yet, Agatha. But whatever is going on, it's important. I've never seen Schmidt so nervous. He can't track these wizards, and so he can't figure out what they're trying to do. And if that thing escalates, it could cause a panic."
Agatha stands thoughtfully for a moment, until she turns completely to Nick, her gaze wary. "Do you think it could be someone we know?"
Nick looks surprised, frowns a little. "Why Agatha, do you have any suspicions?"
"No, none." She says, and you know she is lying. But Nick doesn't seem to notice. "I just wanted to ask, because I think we should keep our eyes open now."
The man nodded, and you think he was going to say something else, but he turned his face to something behind you, and then you were looking.
The party became a complete awkward silence when a young man staggered in, completely drunk. It was your father, and he was not alone.
"That was so embarrassing." The real Agatha sneers beside you as you and Wanda watch your dads, stumble drunkenly to the center, your grandfather catching up with them with a murderous expression on his face.
"What is the meaning of this absurd, Howard?" He asked angrily, but keeping his tone low as if to avoid a bigger scene.
"Man of the year, London!" His father exclaimed ironically.
"Not so good father, but I think a great businessman should do it!"
Your father's speech caused some buzz to circulate around, but your grandfather just got his ears red with anger, and stepped forward.
"Leave immediately, take this filthy mudblood you call a friend with you." Says the man, and you feel your stomach turn. But your father steps forward, pushing your grandfather by the shoulders away, who is astonished.
"Don't call Erik that!" He shouts, and his speech turns into a groan of pain as your grandfather slaps him across the face, a look of disapproval as the whole room watches.
"Now, Howard." He warns. "And don't you ever dare raise your hand to your father again."
But Howard laughed humorlessly, raising his head again, his eyes full of tears.
"I'm leaving this place for good, dad." He warns, causing your grandfather to raise his eyebrow. "I'm going to live in New York."
"And with what money do you intend to do that, boy?" the man ironizes, "With mine that won't be."
"I'm going to work." Your father says and your grandfather's laugh makes you and everyone in the room shiver.
"You've never worked a day in your life, you intend to do what? Wash dishes? Have you forgotten that we have elves for that?"
"I'm going to live with the muggles." And that does cause a reaction. Your grandfather gives an incredulous laugh.
"Over my dead body you will."
But your father doesn't hesitate, and slips his arm around Erik's shoulders, who seemed suddenly sobered and embarrassed by the whole thing. "I'm going to New York with my best friend, and we're going to marry the first muggle girls we meet, and have as many more half-bloods as they want to give us. And you're going to die alone in this old mansion."
When your grandfather advanced to attack him, he took a step back, and apparated with his friend. The room went completely silent, and it took a couple of seconds for your grandfather to put a smile on his face and open his arms.
"Children." He commented loudly with irony. "You know how they are, folks! Howey loves a good firewhiskey, I'm sure he was just causing a Christmas prank. Come on, you can get on with it. The elves will serve you well!"
Everyone seemed too uncomfortable to disagree, and the room gradually returned to noises.
You felt embarrassed, because of your grandfather's attitude. But Wanda just stroked your hand with her thumb, whispering in your ear if you were all right, and you just nodded. The real Agatha turned to you.
"I think I'm rambling." She declares. "Your parents graduated from Hogwarts that year, and went to New York. And things here got worse. Let's see one last thing before we go back, you guys shouldn't stay in this spell that long, and we need to move."
While the memory was fading, you spoke.
“What happened to my grandfather while my dad was in New York?”
Agatha sighs thoughtfully. "Well, you know how sorcerers love a little gossip. The Daily Prophet ignored a potential war to talk about the prodigal son who ran away from home, front page story for a couple of weeks. And in the meantime muggle borns were disappearing all around the country, and even beyond."
You felt bad, wanting to apologize for your grandfather's actions, even though you were not at all to blame. Agatha gave a little smile.
"In a way, your grandfather's ruination delayed Faustus." She says. "Without the Starks' financial support, the minister became even more tense. He gave the red skulls a free pass to kill. And anyone who looked suspicious of plotting against the government was in the crosshairs."
"That doesn't sound like help, Agatha." You mutter but the witch isn't even paying attention anymore, the memory coming back into focus around you.
It was Hogwarts again, the courtyard. The students were all scattered among the pylons, looking curiously at the center.
Mephisto stood with his bags on his feet, a worn jacket, and his hair disheveled. Skinny, and very pale, he seemed to have difficulty standing.
"Is this your thanks for my work, old friend?" He sneered armagically, the crowd witnessing the scene with a mixture of fear and shock. "All I've done for this country and this school!"
"Putting my students in danger is not exactly exemplary service, Faustus." Agatha retorts standing in front of him.
It was the day of his resignation, you understand.
"Go away at once. There is no more place for you at Hogwarts."
But Mephisto became enraged, kicked his own bag, raised his wand, and Agatha did the same, but neither of them attacked. The students held their breath.
"Give it back and I will leave." He warns the woman.
"It is the property of Hogwarts castle, under my protection." Agatha retorts. "You are no longer part of the faculty, and you have no right to the study materials under surveillance of that school."
Mephisto clenched his jaw, his wand trembling in his hands. "It's mine! It's my book, give it back, damn you!"
"Leave now, Faustus."
"I cursed you, Agatha Harkness." Retorts the man with hatred. "You will pay for putting yourself between me and my destiny!"
The memory jolted as Mephisto put away his wand, and you felt like you were waking up.
"No, wait!" You turned indignantly. “How did you manage to fire him? How did it come to that? What happened to Professor Fury? "
But Agatha just shook her head, squinting slightly.
"We need to leave, you've been here too long." She says. "Let's continue at the next stop."
Everything turned blurry around you before you could protest.
//-//-//-//-//
Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife || @nervoustrack || @aquamarinescarlet || @cristin-rjd || @idamaemann || @fortunatelynerdylight || @iliketozoneout || @blackwow34 // @tiny–freak || @spongebobtentacles || @cyberbonesworld ||
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toonytoodles · 3 years
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Random fun fact time! Ft. OCs! (Repost because I added more/ edited a lot of stuff)
Avery -
- Sneezes like a kitten, and most of the time she accidentally uses her fire breathe when she sneezes, so watch out
- Sleeps on a rock
- Is made uncomfortable by actual dragons, it's just... too weird for her...
- Has a strange and inexplicable extreme fear of eels
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- Reacts to fear by singing/humming/speaking very loudly, and also by running and screaming (basically, how markilpler acts when playing horror games? yeah that)
- At least once a week her dad has to help her brush through her hair, he says they should get it cut but she absolutely refuses
- Owns a few pairs of gloves- most of which look nearly identical. Some are for different days, some pairs are for bedtime, and some are for special occasions, but she also has some different types and styles of gloves for different events
- Loves the holidays, dislikes the weather that comes with it
- Absolutely hates people touching/messing with her tail, even if it's by accident she gets kinda mad. That's hers- don't touch it. (Emma's the only exception to this simply because it can't be avoided- although Emma does try to touch it as little as possible)
- Slightly allergic to pollen
- She has a clicking-like purr
- If you scratch under her chin she'll purr and relax, but if scratch a certain spot on her neck she'll sleepily fall over
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- Adopted as an egg and raised by her human father and fairy mother
- Has a Scottish accent 
- Works as a Glazier (glass blower) and makes potion bottles, also helps with making the potions, and occasionally costumer service and boring stuff like stocking/inventory
Emma -
- Plays with hoodie strings and/or hair when upset or nervous (it happens often, her hoodie strings are sorta worn out)
- She's a big fan of animals! Especially bears, puppies, and unicorns, she thinks they're adorable! When she was younger she used to like dragons quite a bit too
- She's a protective friend and big sister, and she's a little over protective over people she cares about
- Tends to read into things; if your tone or demeanor is slightly different she begins worrying that something's wrong or that she did something. She also tends to believe that no one actually wants to be her friend or wants to be nice to her, but that they're only being nice because they're afraid of her or pity her.
- LOVES HUGS!!! Absolutely loves them, hugging other giants, hugging people smaller than her, getting hugs, giving hugs, she loves hugs
- Once accidentally ate a fake candy cane decoration, off someone's front lawn, because she thought it was real gigantic candy, left out for giants (she was like four, so it made sense to her then, but she still gets made fun for it a bit by her family)
- Loves snow and winter
- Her favorite color is probably blue
- Is surprisingly good at sneaking up on people, for someone 30ft tall she's quiter than most borrowers
- Is the second oldest of five kids, her older brother Rory is 23, her younger brother Richard is 15, and her youngest sisters Aroura and Tiana are 6 and 8, and they're all pretty close
- Her dad is a size shifter, and so are Richard and Tiana, the rest of the family are giants
- She's ambidextrous
- Very cautious of her surroundings
- Hates surprises/being scared
- Bi-romantic and ace
Sofia -
- Can write without looking at what she's doing
- Only wears slip on shoes or shoes with Velcro/zippers, she never learned how to tie them, she couldn't figure out what to do with her head or look at what she was doing
- She's an artist! She likes to paint!
- Has a hard time saying "no," so when she says it, she means it
- Hates surprises and people sneaking up on her
- Has a pet python named Albert
- Probably the only person on the planet who has worse anxiety than Emma
- Don't call her "Soph" or "Sophie," and she gets mildly annoyed when her name is misspelled
- Typically uses right arm to carry head and left hand for everything else
- Has a weird sense of humor
- Has a million stuffed animals, has like 20 on her bed, but Rupert the blue bunny is her favorite
- She has an enchanted scarf that allows her to wear her head when needed, she doesn't usually use it because she's not used to it & it gives her anxiety (she's scared of the scarf falling off/being taken off unexpectedly) but she has it and uses it on occasion, mostly at home
- She doesn't let anyone else hold her head, it seriously freaks her out, her dad is the only exception, but Avery held her once for a group photo (her body took the picture)
-She loves singing and has a soft beautiful voice but is too shy to sing around anyone 🎶
- She was bullied when she was younger and doesn't like to talk about it, she already gets emotional easily and those memories hurt
- She loves Avery's jokes and has a bit of a weird sense of humor
- She's adopted, she lives with her human father (another fun fact, her dad is one of Avery's parents best friends!)
- Unlike Avery, she wasn't adopted as a baby, she was about 6-7ish when she was adopted
- Loves vegetables
- Gets embarrassed easily
- Doesn't go out of her comfort zone, she only does stuff when Avery basically forces her to
- She really likes Emma, but is also sorta scared of her sometimes, she's just scared of people and being looked at, so she can be a little overwhelming without meaning to be, it's nothing personal and she knows Emma wouldn't hurt a fly, she's just scared of people and sometimes Emma is a lot of person
- Doesn't want Emma to hold her (Emma respects it, although sometimes they work it out to where Emma can give her a gentle hug)
-Her favorite season is fall
-She loves rabbits and frogs, but won't admit she loves horses (there's a stereotype that all dullahans love horses, she won't give in)
-Hates confrontation
-Loves vanilla cake
-Hates strangers and people she's not comfortable around being anywhere near her
- Pansexual
- Sorta has a voice claim, but it's weird and sorta difficult to explain?
Andie -
- Has a French accent (picked it up from dad)
- One of my only OCs to have a voice claim
- Plays the flute
- Mean, selfish, and self centered, but somehow also a good person
- Sings sentences sometimes
- Scared of turtles
- Works as a bard/waitress at the family tavern
- Unfortunately she is heterosexual
Andy -
- Somehow didn't pick up their fathers accent
- One of my only OCs to have a voice claim
- Plates the lute
- Genuine and kind hearted, but also a bumbling moron
- Dreams of being a song writer, wants to be a professional musician
- Works as a bard/waiter at the family tavern
- Bi, but prefers women
Clementine -
- A book worm
- Likes to sing
- Practices magic, knows a few interesting spells
- Sometimes her and Avery fight over magic usage vs. potion usage (they know it's a dumb fight, but they don't care, at this point it's a joke)
- She's a white tailed deer
- She has great hearing, and is usually very aware of her surroundings
- She wants to be a magic professor as an adult
- Demisexual, pan, but prefers men
Pond-
- Elementals don't really have gender, she chooses to present as female and use female pronouns
- Can't "see," but rather senses vibrations, since she's made out of water she doesn't have eyes, but based on other senses she can get around just fine
- She can't smell either
- Doesn't care for romance
- Has 4 pet fish she keeps with her, named Karl, Frank, Phillip, and Fish
- She has a baby sister, Brook
- She's odd and can be off putting unless you know her pretty well, then her weirdness is sort of endearing
- She can tell her friends apart by the way they walk and their gestures, and of course their voices, but really has no idea what any of them look like, she knows their species and the normal traits of those species, but not much outside that
- She doesn't eat or drink
- Smart, but sorta reckless
- Sorta hard to hug :( but the others still try
Sapphire -
- Has minimal size shifting abilities, but prefers to be her true size, she loves sitting on her husband's shoulders or in his pockets (She's about 5ft in her bigger form)
- Used to be an adventurer, at one point she was a pirate
- Met her husband on one of her adventures
- Has a Scottish accent
- She has a sword her size (no it's not a toothpick or a toy or anything, she has an actual tiny sword) 🗡
- Makes potions for the shop and deals with customers
- Grew up outside of Tradeskeep, her and Kal retired from their adventuring career and settled down there
Kalvin -
- Used to be an adventurer/ mercenary
- Huge, ripped, has all kinds of scars, but his 4" tall wife is scarier than he his, he's basically a teddy bear
- Makes potions, does restocking, inventory, and doesn't as much anymore, but makes potion bottles
- Has scars/tattoos from various adventures
- Used to have dragon scale armor, he once saved a village from a dragon, but has sold it and no longer tells the story, he now claims it was a bear
- He's a great dad ❤
- Loves ale & meat, but not as much as his girls
- I cannot overstate how much he loves his family, he LOVES his wife and daughter, like a LOT, it pretty much defines who he is, he's a family man
- Met his wife while on a quest
- He used to be a nomad while adventuring and getting paid for jobs, he'd wander from town to town, until he settled at Tradeskeep and put up a shop
Ok so i know that's a lot, but it's there for anyone who's interested in all that ❤ I have other facts too, so if you wanna know any more just look around on my blog or send an ask, Q&A for OCs are open, and I'm open to art/writing requests/ideas! ❤
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celisgettacos · 4 years
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I'm going to post this because maybe someone will hear this over words unspoken, my name is Billy Strange and I still wake up each morning picking up the next piece, I've almost taken my life more then I can count on both hands, from a high school sweet heart marriage of 9 years turned bloody and a custody battle that went from healthy to sadistic over a span of 3 years and 20k, and it was the words from a man I barely knew for no more then 6 months, that has saved me
I see and talk to so many fathers who tell me their story and I so badly want to tell them just to listen to what I'm telling you, I can get you out of this if you just let me a stranger walk with you through it... It never works out that easy but I don't give up and I hope you all read these words and share them to those who may hear it better from the words written by their brother in arms.. any way
I look back for those 2 years I was there and remember pushing anyone close to me as far away as possible so that they didn't have to feel the initial pain or try to stop me, all because I felt like I let them all down...
The only people I kept around me were strangers because I wanted to know if they seen me as a failure not even knowing me.... It was because of that, and them being completely honest about why it was only me that maybe it wasn't meant to be,
(A Satanist told me this and I'll never forget it, it was his words that allowed me to get this far) he is not one for recognition so I won't label him.
"did you ever think that your trying so hard to hold up a world that has fallen all around you...
Maybe you are on the right path and you are only focusing on the things that have already broken, and don't realize that all you have to do is look down at each piece, see it and learn why it was so important to you and then glue it to that small piece you are still holding above you, then go to the next and keep going until each piece has shown you just how strong it actually made you to make it to someone who seen your strength, and can see you just forgot what gave you that strength.
It will hurt, it will make you hate the way you handled certain things, it will cause you to try to give up,
but because you made it a task to see each piece, and put it all back up, you will never allow yourself to give up, or find a rope, until you complete your task, because thats the person you are...
But you have to understand that it may have taken you 5 years to build that first world you now see broken below you, it will take far longer to rebuild it stronger, because you will also rebuild yourself with each piece, and you have to remember to let each piece's glue dry before placing the other or else you will watch it become to stressful and not understand why you think you are doing the right thing but it keeps falling....
Learn each piece then let it hurt, while you hold it in place to dry, let it consume your mind and play it over and over like a movie each piece until it dries, then heal, smile before you look back down for that next piece, and don't ever be scared to place even those bad things you did when not everyone was watching back into your rebuild, because without each piece it will be to weak and fall apart down the road when everything seemed good.
Basically you have to accept that you are on a dark road but to learn to see in the dark it will allow you to navigate later in life when you see a person on that same road and they ask for help.. Don't ever forget how you felt because they may have absolutely no one and will you want to be the one who pretends like you didn't see it. Anyway that being said stop mopping and let's go handle business "
The next section is a completely separate chapter from above but I feel maybe can help...
I want to add to this 4 years from that being told to me and experiencing it in real life, that sometimes you will still find yourself in a sort of limbo period I've managed to pin mine down to about every 8 months, if for some reason I didn't accomplish a goal I set prior and it feels like no matter what I do or try I can't for some reason figure it out, those are the moments you need to find a person you trust your life with because those will be the moments you will try anything to get you out of that mentality because we want to feel that we are moving forward no matter the speed, but to feel stuck and not being able to see a way out or that lost piece that you know is there it's just probably hidden under some of your other pieces..we feel like Maybe just for a moment let whatever is causing you to panic, whether it's rent, a car that is broke and no money and work tomorrow, or you've been jobless for 3 months now and even with all the resumes submitted nothing is available and winter is a cold time to be homeless with no job, or maybe you still haven't got a place to stay so that you can have your children stay with you finally, whatever it is the worst thing that can happen is what you silently keep fighting to not take over,
I just want this fight to stop for one night, I just want all this stress to burry itself tonight so I can try to breathe... What that really means is I'm going to go back to those bad habits I had because it always quieted those fights in my head and if I can just do that I will have a clear mind to find a solution..
I will tell you from experience that once you reach that moment nothing but a person of trust will stop you from taking that hit, or drinking those shots, calling that sexual excitement, spending the money you don't have on the gambling machines, going out on the town with the sole purpose of getting wasted, because we truly believe that we are better prepared to control our vices, we will stop at our limit, what we never realize is that we allowed those vices to retake control by thinking you needed it to breathe.
What will ultimately usually happen is a night of uncontrolled guilt, constant war inside yourself, conscious tears filling up your emotional warhead..
all night this rage of self doubt quietly destroying your confidence, causing you to go right on past that limit of 2 shots, or just one line, or I'll only put 20 bucks in the slots, or I will just flirt I won't allow it to go past that,
because that fight is still loud and now more painful, because you know deep down that you allowed yourself to fall and laying there helpless...I cringe even writing these next words because it's so easy to reach this point of thinking that;
"obviously we were just meant to fail"
"why not right, "
"who really cares if I fail there's, no one here to stop me right..."
"So why should I have to carry this pain all the damn time, why is it so fucking easy for everyone else..."
And that's it...
(Those of you who are reading this and may be in this exact moment please, look at that image that you always hold in your mind of your child's eyes, look at that past moment when you and your daughter would lay under the stars with her head on your shoulder watching the magical pink elephant jump through a black sky as she explains how much she loves you and talks about anything and everything that her imagination creates under that massive sky where imagination always comes to life.... Feel her heart as she paints her masterpiece and ask you to help with the flowers over there by the big dipper so the elephant has something to give her mom,
please don't let your moment die because you have no more left, and no one in your face to help you, please call me I don't know you but I will before we hang up and I won't let you fail the only mission that will keep your children's smile alive for another year because you didn't let yourself fall.)
Cont. - don't Wake up the next day or still awake 12 hours later after all those "friends" left you to sit with your own guilt... Oh yeah, that guilt is now yelling loudly inside your entire soul, as it launches that emotional warhead of tears, oh yeah those evil people why did they let me do this....
Why did they... Urrrghhhhh why did I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,... DO this I can't believe I went back to what destroyed me and actually talked myself into believing this was going to help me....
It's in those tears and self reflection comes a choice that is now forced on you, oh hold that thought your friend from last night is calling, and they want to know if you want to continue this "unhealthy" adventure..
You either respond with a yes and have accepted that you have lost your control, and most times it will set you back 3-6 months or until your money runs out or those "friends" hurt you. And then you realize that all you did was take on more hurt and more pain and that's a scenario that will most likely continue to lead to occasional loss of all reality until you find that piece of your life that you keep looking over and afraid to pick up, and will cause your life to end up in constant downfalls until addressed.
Or you will have addressed that guilt and conquer a small war by not answering, because you are very In tune with accepting responsibility and able to understand that you could have destroyed your life, someone else's life, and now you know that you still are not able to control those periods of limbo when nothing is working. So accept responsibility for any loses you may have encountered, like a drug test at work, or a piece of your dignity, or people you thought were friends...
The first step from that is to immediately have the talk with that person you know will hold you accountable during those periods, 9 out of 10 times that person is who you looked up to as a child whether it's your mom, dad, grandparent, or sibling, for me it was my grandmother.. The moment you can go to them honestly no matter what it was that you did the night before, you have to let them know what that is, you have to be able to openly label the thing that will destroy you, and let them know how important they are to your strength, those tears from that conversation will build a mountain of motivation inside of you... Usually sparking that jolt to get you over that limbo...
Some people can afford to pay those people to help them, for the rest of us we have each other so that's my little piece of advice I hope it helps someone
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