#GIRL GO ON ANOTHER ADVENTURE. ACCIDENTALLY TRIGGER THE APOCALYPSE

[gender-euphowrya]

lara croft is such a funny character like this girl has never had a fucking break in her life

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Moffat Era Rewatch: The Pyramid at the End of the World/The Lie of the Land

The Monks set their plan in motion and the Doctor is helpless to stop them...

Warning: spoilers Sweetie

These two episodes are not good. They are pretty much the low point of season 10.

I do like how they mixed up the recap by having it be Bill telling Penny about what happened last week. 

First the Pope, now the Secretary General of the United Nations. Bill, I think the universe is trying to send you a message about you and Penny. 

“I don't know the President. How would I know the President? I mean, I wouldn't even have voted for him. He's orange.”

Turmezistan now seems to be Doctor Who’s made up country of choice.

Really odd that it is the actual UN in this episode and not UNIT.  Was Jemma Redgrave too busy with Holby City? 

“The end of your life has already begun. There is a last place you will ever go, a last door you will ever walk through, a last sight you will ever see, and every step you ever take is moving you closer.” This feels more poignant now with his final story just around the corner.    

This is why you should always keep your specs in a case.

 Back on the presidential plane, which doesn’t get blown up for once. 

“Last I heard, you were on a date with Penny. What happened?” "Er, the United Nations Secretary-General." “Awesome.” "Nah, that wasn't a metaphor.” "Good, because I really wasn't following it.”

And here we have two of the world’s dumbest and most careless scientists. 

This is why you shouldn’t get hammered on a school night. 

“Do you understand now? Do you see? Asking them for help has conditions. Invite them in, and it will be the last free action you take.” 

“I'm sorry. It's not my first dead planet.” Probably not the first time he’s seen a dead Earth either. 

And here one of the world’s dumbest scientists violates every single safety protocol you can think of. First, he removes his helmet. 

Then he goes into the chamber unprotected. 

And takes it out of the airlock without being decontaminated or even shutting the door behind him. 

“What do you think, Mister President? Did we just give peace a chance?”

RIP Dumb Scientist #2

Can these three generals really surrender the word to the Monks without even consulting their leaders? 

“Oh, my God!” "No, I'm the Doctor, but it's an easy mistake to make. The eyebrows.”

“We have an air filtration system to take toxins out of the air. It runs a cycle every thirty minutes. It's going to pump the bacteria into the atmosphere.” Okay, that is just dumb, seriously who designed this place? It’s like they were planning to trigger an apocalypse.

Why is there no inbuilt fail safe in case of of an accidental release? Surely a lab like this should have an emergency sterilization system in place?  

Is this why there is no UNIT, because they wanted to kill off all the leaders so only Bill was left? 

Not only is this lab badly designed and poorly run it has keypads that are not friendly to blind people in anyway. That is grounds for a discrimination lawsuit if ever I saw one. I bet they don’t even have ramps for wheelchairs.    

Okay, the Doctor does not go through any kind of decontamination process here. So wouldn’t that just released the bacteria into the open anyway? 

“You act out of love. Love is consent. We must be loved.” Yes, but shes also acting out of fear the Doctor will be killed. So her consent isn’t really that pure now, is it?  

So the last episode was dumb, but ‘The Lie of the Land’ is really dumb and spectacularly bad. 

Of course no one believes the Monk’s lies, their photoshop skills are rank. 

So did the Monks insist everyone wear such drab clothing or did people just decide that themselves? 

Bill Potts has been more uncomfortable with all the death travelling with the Doctor entails than any other companion, and yet you expect me to believe that the first thing she would do after discovering the Doctor has changed sides is pull a gun and murder him? What were you smoking, Toby? 

This entire sequence was clearly contrived just so they could put an image of the Doctor regenerating into the trailer. 

“Regeneration a little bit too much?” Yes, yes it was. 

“I am going to beat the sh...” How I feel about Toby Whithouse while watching this episode.  

Look how spacious Missy’s prison is. I’d be happy to be locked up for a 1000 years if it meant having a place that roomy.  

“God, the way you and Nardole have been carrying on, I thought you had some kind of monster in here, or something!” Oh, Bill, my sweet summer child. 

“Wait a sec. Why have you got a woman locked in a vault? Because even I think that's weird, and I've been attacked by a puddle.” 

"I've had adventures too. My whole life doesn't revolve around you, you know.” You could’ve fooled me.    

“I once built a gun out of leaves. Do you think I couldn't get through a door if I wanted to?”   

Missy is the only good thing about this episode.

“Well, at this point, all that was left of the bloodline was a wee girl, and I just pushed her into a volcano.”   

“You know, back in the day, I'd burn an entire city to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made. I'm sorry your plus one doesn't get a happy ending, but, like it or not, I just saved this world because I want to change. Your version of good is not absolute. It's vain, arrogant and sentimental. If you're waiting for me to become all that, I'm going to be here for a long time yet.”

This place is ridiculously easy to break into. If this is the source of the Monk’s power why’d they leave the door wide open and not have any guards outside? 

“Fake news” How topical.  

Bill finally gets to be the one to save the day, which is great, but did it have to be in the worst episode of the season? Not to mention it was another tiresome “love conquers all” resolution. 

“I keep remembering all the people I've killed. Every day I think of more. Being bad, being bad drowned that out. I didn't know I even knew their names. You didn't tell me about this bit.” This is the most interesting idea anyone has had for the Master in a long time.  

Next Time: Empress of Mars