#god I havent drawn in ages let alone lineless art | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

godsfavoritescientist · 2 years

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you’ll always be my favorite ghost - Big God, by Florence + The Machine

[Image description: Lineless digital painting of Ford kneeling in front of the stone statue of Bill, hugging it and crying. He is in the woods, surrounded by birch trees, with beams yellow light streaming down from the treetops. The grass around Ford is shaded to be reminiscent of the shape of the portal.]

#original art #billford #god I havent drawn in ages let alone lineless art #i dont know how to draw tears or anatomy at All #I looked up 'man hugging dog' to find a good hugging-while-kneeling reference image.#sometimes you gotta say fuck it and draw the thing before the idea of it eats you alive #i'm writing a fic about ford confronting the statue. the feelings are just so Complicated #he is so angry and relieved and exhausted.#angry at everything bill did. angry that hes gone forever. angry at himself for spending any energy on thinking about bill #most of all angry at himself for missing bill. he doesnt even Miss Bill #he just misses the version of bill that he thought he knew pre-betrayal. but that doesnt make the complicated feelings any less real #i imagine he would avoid the statue for a long long time and then one day accidentally walk past it #and feel a ton of repressed feelings bubbling to the surface #and he would want to kick the statue or run away or yell at it but all of those feel so silly to do to a statue. basically a gravestone #so he ends up hugging it and feeling like an idiot for hugging it but he just has to sob for a little while #sometimes you gotta cling to the tombstone of your horrible toxic ex and sob about how much you miss them #and sob about how bitter and angry and lost and Tired you feel. there will Never be any Resolution. he's just. Gone Forever #i can picture him laughing through the sobs and muttering 'we'll meet again huh. as if.'#'i never want to see you again you asshole. and having the chance to meet again would be too good to be true.'#he's just So Heartbroken about it all. and he wishes he could get some kind of closure or something. but there IS none.#even if bill came back what would he say? nothing new. He would keep feeling no remorse about any of it. he would keep being horrible.#ford is kinda mourning the final tiny little irrational ray of hope in him that got crushed when bill died.#the irrational hope that maybe bill Could end up regretting what he did and become better and then he could have his best friend back.#the irrational hope that the betrayal was all just a bad dream and any second now he will wake up and bill will be benevolent and good #none of these feelings are things that ford can admit to himself. not even all these decades later.#but it Does Something To You to see your ex-closest-friend's tombstone!!#regardless of how deep and terrible the betrayal was.#ford so badly wishes he could stop having any kind of feelings about bill anymore. especially the lingering remains of fond feelings #but i dont know if those feelings even Can be completely gotten rid of. hes stuck with the knowledge that he feels upset about bills death.#and he hates it. he hates feeling upset about the death of an evil dream demon who tried to destroy his family and his dimension.

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