#god i hope my edits go through i found 2 big errors since i posted this

[amourete-blog1]

(( opinions.

the “realistic” approach to online interactions doesn’t work. it’s a fundamentally flawed system for several reasons, which is exacerbated by the fact that people on tumblr are afraid of face-to-face interactions. even if one singular person isn’t afraid of it, the community as a whole is, and that’s a BAD habit.

fact: some characters will not get along unless they are literally forced to spend time together. this is one of several dynamics that makes rp interesting for quite a few people. if it’s not your fancy, more power to you, but for some people it is, and the current community approach to rp is crippling their ability to explore that. characters can have WILDLY different views on certain subjects, which are usually formed by people they look up to, people in their life, things they’ve researched or things they’ve personally experienced, among likely several other sources. these differences should be encouraged, not smothered. it’s not fun to rp when every character is exactly the same.

the usage of ic blocking so flippantly is a huge factor in smothering those differences in characters. as rpers, interactions are our lifeblood. without them, we can’t rp. rp is one of the few things a person cannot do by themselves, like it’s literally impossible - if you’re rping by yourself, you’re writing a novel. it’s no longer rp.

when characters icly block each other, that cuts off an avenue for those characters to interact, which means one less interaction for both those characters, ESPECIALLY because again: we as a community are afraid of ftf roleplay, so there’s no other alternative route. some rpers can take that hit, of losing one possible rper. most can’t. if your character is one of the types that is hard to love, you get a lot of people blocking you, you’ve now effectively cut off a whole circle of interactions, and here’s the worst part: when someone blocks you, there is virtually nothing you can do.

therefore, we as rpers learn that we “can’t” have our characters have those opinions/do those things, or else they will be blocked and we will be rendered incapable of rping. for “survival” in this community, we sacrifice diversity, because otherwise we know we literally won’t be able to rp. that’s not okay. and yes, some brave souls will do it anyway, but i would urge anyone to consider: how many people have you actually seen rp with those people? because all the numbers i come up with are typically pretty low.

oocly, it makes sense to block people you don’t want to talk to. it makes perfect sense, and i’ve done it several times myself. blocking is a wonderful tool that absolutely should be used. however, when used in-character, it presents massive problems, like this. rp does not strictly follow the rules of real life. that’s why we have aliens, and magic, and “coincidences” that add up to the conclusion both/all rpers want. if you’re looking for truly, flawlessly realistic rp, go talk to someone offline and have adventures. we write fiction here.

solutions: stop using in-character blocking except as a very, very last resort, and provide a way for the character to be unblocked. if a character blocks another character, expect character b to be unblocked at a later time, whether by character a’s choice, by a malfunction, by outside interference or anything else - and moreover, put plans in place for that to happen. provide a means.

fact: characters do not have their own autonomy. they are fictional. they can’t think or act for themselves, we as muns are always in control. if a mun is not in control of their character 100% of the time, that is actually, truly dangerous to everyone involved, and should not be encouraged.

we make judgements about what our characters would do in situations based on information we’ve gathered about them. it’s a really remarkable ability our brains have. we can put ourselves in their shoes, but at the end of the day, we are still making that choice to have them act on whatever they act on, think whatever they think, and so on. yes, impulses are a thing. yes, sometimes they greatly benefit an rp. no, they do not always have to be followed.

having characters react to every single thing they see can sometimes be good for sparking interactions, but most of the time, it’s exhausting. perpetuating an atmosphere where characters that DON’T interact with absolutely everything they see is frowned upon/discouraged is ultimately harmful. if an rper, ooc, is uncomfortable with something, or just doesn’t want to rp it, the atmosphere we should be perpetuating is one of “that’s okay. you aren’t obligated to rp this.” and if it’s brought up to them personally, rather than just being flung out in the abyss, we should be encouraging them to break character and talk ooc.

reacting to content, whether directly or indirectly (vagueposting, purposefully loudly ignoring by trying to redirect the topic) rewards behavior and furthers that content. if you don’t want to interact with content, don’t. don’t have your character vague. don’t have them scream at the top of their lungs about how nice the weather is where they are. that’s still an interaction. when you interact ic, you are confirming that you are okay with what is going on. if that’s not true, rpers need to stop interacting. they need to break character, and they need to say “i’m not okay with this.”

no, this isn’t a matter of “don’t assume consent.” online we have literally no other indicators of whether someone is uncomfortable or not. we just have the text we’re given. it is impractical at absolute best to constantly ask “are you okay with this,” and impossible at worst, because we’d be accenting every line with that question to the point where it would be just the same as before: assumed. we must, must start pushing for people to communicate ooc, immediately, when they are uncomfortable or otherwise not cool with what’s going on.

solutions: if an rper doesn’t want to have their character engage with a certain topic, have them do something else. not out of spite, not as if they’re trying to distract, just... something else, for its own merit. they can hit someone up in ims. they can start a different post. sometimes this doesn’t work because the discussion is so widespread, but that’s kind of... just how it goes. we as a community should also try to encourage this method by interacting with that content too, but sometimes it’s not what people want to do, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. whatever it is, though, it’s still better than icly interacting with the thing you don’t want to interact with.

that being said, widespread dash discussions of bad shit, like we’ve seen with the hemoism, slavery, etc discussions, are a problem. it would be good to mitigate those, a lot more than they are now. tagging is a good step, but interacting with non-Big Bad Discourse (BBD) topics will help too. like sandwich discourse - that was good. if someone’s trying to make a joke, we can help them! we can interact with them and help them make their joke, then we get something funny and everyone wins. if someone starts dropping hints in a post/dropping interesting information, it’s probably because they’re seeking interaction. scratch that: if they make a post, period, it’s because they’re seeking interaction because again, it’s the lifeblood of rp. it’s what we do. likes are great, replies are better, reblogs are top-tier. interact with content you want more of. we all want more diversity in the content we see here, so let’s make that happen, and “vote with our feet.”

and no this post isn’t actually solely re: hemoism discourse ooc talk. it’s actually opinions i’ve had for a while. i kinda just woke up and was like “hey i maybe want to talk about this.” the purpose of this post is me hoping to make a couple ripples in the community as a whole and maybe change the way we do/think about certain things. i really like this community, i love the people i’ve met, and i want to see it get better. if you don’t agree with me, that’s your prerogative, but i do hope you’ve at least thought about what i’ve said.

floor is open to discussion if anyone has anything to say/add.

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ON THE TAG LIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 1.9k

warnings: swearing, cheating

italics means flashback/memory recall

listen to the music masterlist

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quick message! unlike on my wattpad, i’m not doing a character introduction chapter on here. so heads up for he/they armin and she/they sasha!! those are just my personal headcanons i included into the story :) also, i wrote this a LONG time ago. i posted this on my wattpad on 2/24/21. i apologize in advance for any errors. i do plan to re-edit a lot of things regarding this fic in the future.

"She's coming back tomorrow," Jean said casually while pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. You choked on your breakfast. Armin took a worried glance at your coughing form from across the table.

"Sorry." You hacked.

"Mikasa is?" Eren peeked his head through the bathroom doorway as he looked away from the mirror.

"Yeah, I'm going to pick her up from the airport tomorrow night." Jean put down the pot of coffee and took a sip from his hot mug.

"Why so sudden?" Armin put down his book on the table in front of his plate.

"She spoke to me about it briefly. said there was something she needed to do when she got here. I'm just as shocked as you are. I didn't think she'd be back any time soon" Jean brushed the crumbs off his hands and put his plate in the sink.

"How can you all be so calm about this? Did you hear him? Mikasa is coming home tomorrow. She left nearly two years ago! She's finally coming back and none of you are freaking out? She didn't even say why exactly she was coming back." You stood up and threw your hands in the air. Suddenly you lost your appetite. 

"No need to get all bent out of shape, Y/n. You act like we haven't seen her in ten years." Eren said with a hair tie in his mouth as he grew impatient with his long and tangled mess of hair.

You rolled your eyes. "Obviously, but she left for a reason. Even when she gets here, will she still want to play with us? Her absence from the band has taken a toll on everyone, and our audience was less than pleased when she announced her vacation, or rather when I announced her vacation." You start pacing in the living room.

Armin's eyes followed you as you moved. "I hope she does, but it's unlikely. I recall her saying she never wanted to see Jean again. I doubt she'll want to play with him here." He theorized.

"Well, she did call me to say she was coming back so I don't think she's still very upset with me." Jean finished off his coffee and tucked his hair behind his ears. "It happened two years ago, after all."

"I hope she's doing better. It's not like we've heard much from her since she left. I have to clean this house! Oh god, it's a mess! You boys are pigs." You said frantically.

Eren snickered. "Well, it looks like you haven't gotten over your little crush."

"Shut it, Jaeger. I'm doing fine and, frankly, that's none of your business." Still pacing, you held your stomach as the nervous feeling grew.

"Yeah, it sure looks like you're fine." His lips pulled into a grin as he rolled his eyes.

"I think I'm going to faint."

"Do you need to lie down? You look a bit pale." Armin stood up and came to my side.

"I think I'll take a nap."

"You just woke up, smarty. Going back to bed already?" Jean chuckled. "I'm going to Marco's place. See you losers later."

A chorus of 'bye, Jeans' sounded throughout the room when he left through the garage door.

"Y/n, were you serious about cleaning the house? Because I have to go and I really don't want to clean so-"

"Yeah, Eren. You can leave, I don't care."

"You're the best! Thank you!" Eren chirped and practically skipped through the door.

"I have nowhere to be. So I guess I'll stick with you here." Armin smiled. "Do you need help with anything?"

"I'll be fine, thanks. Just nervous is all." You wrung your hands and blinked several times.

"Okay, I'll be in the office if you need anything." Armin patted your shoulder and left you alone in the large living room.

You quickly got to cleaning the house in a nervous frenzy, deep in thought. Mikasa had left one night almost two years ago after a heated situation between her and Jean that ultimately resulted in their breakup and Mikasa leaving the band with only a painful note left behind.

Apparently, there was more to the breakup than you knew, but Jean kept what we didn't hear to himself for Mikasa's sake. Essentially, Mikasa caught Jean and Marco together at a party Eren threw for his nineteenth birthday. You were with her when she saw them.

You and Mikasa were having a silly conversation in the long hallway in front of the dining room. Mikasa stopped looking at you and started focusing on something behind you. her small smile dropped. "and that's why I never- hey Mikasa? You okay? What are you looking at?" You stopped telling your story and became more concerned for your friend.

Confused, you turned around. You gasped loudly. "Oh Mikasa, I'm so sorry." You reached a hand out to her but she left the hall quickly. "Don't worry about it, Y/n. It's not a big deal."  You watched her speedwalk up the stairs with her hand covering her mouth. 

You confronted Jean calmly, not wanting to disturb the party, despite being furious. "Hey, Jean. the world can see you, dickbag. And so did your girlfriend. Have fun explaining this to her. She went upstairs. Find her yourself. If you even care enough to do so."  You spat and darted away from them.

"Wait, Y/n!" Jean pushed past people as you swiftly made your way through the crowd in an attempt to find Eren. Normally, you'd look for Armin, but he was out of town for the night. You got to the kitchen and desperately glanced around. Jean took hold of your arm before you could get any farther. He turned you to face him and took note of your angry expression. "I'm sorry. let me explain."

You shoved him away from you. "Don't apologize to me. Don't explain anything to me. Tell it to your girlfriend. I'm finding Eren and ending this shitty party early. Frankly, Jean, I don't care what excuse you have." You kicked off your heels in a random spot and continued the search for your friend. Jean tried to follow you at first but gave up.

You pushed through crowds looking everywhere for Eren. "Where is he? Eren I need you," You muttered. You caught a glimpse of dark hair being pulled out of an updo. You took a sharp turn and bumped into someone. You fell backward on the floor and rubbed your side that you fell on. "Ouch."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going!"  A girl with multiple party foods in her arms shouted apologetically. She hastily set down her collection and helped you up. I took a quick look around the room, Eren wasn't there. The brunette in front of me tilted her head. "Are you looking for someone? I can help you find them to make up for bumping into you. Hey, you're really pretty. Are you the guitarist from that band? Wait, so you live here? Oh no, I bumped into someone famous! Connie and Niccolo are gonna freak out when I tell them! I'm Sasha by the way. Your name is Y/n right?" 

Taken aback by her rambling, and the fact that she recognized you, you stuttered for a bit before gaining your composure. "Yeah, I'm looking for a friend, actually. And that's me. I live here."

Sasha grinned. "Cool! Who are you looking for? I might know them." She linked her arm through yours and pulled you to the outside deck.

"I'm looking for Eren. Uh- Jaeger. My friend Eren Jaeger. I need to find him."  Your voice sounded shaky.

"Me and him were partners in Professor Hange's science class back in high school! He invited me since we go way back." She opened the door and stepped outside. "Hey Y/n, you sound upset. Did something happen?" She unhooked your arm from hers and put her hands on your shoulders with a concerned stare. You were on the brink of tears and didn't want to cry in front of a stranger, but when you heard the caution in her tone you couldn't help but let some tears escape.

"Hey! Hey, hey Y/n, don't cry now. We'll find Eren." She pulled you in for a hug and you slowly accepted it. You weren't even the one who got cheated on yet you were the one crying. You were worried about the band. You were worried about the fight Eren and Jean were sure to get in. You were worried about what Armin would think. But most importantly, you were worried about Mikasa.

The thought of her locking herself in a room upstairs alone after what happened was enough to make you feel sick. You had to find Eren and end the party. You had to keep him calm once he found out. A part of you had always hoped they would break up, and you always felt extremely guilty about it, but you never hoped  it would end in a way that hurt them both. 

You quietly sobbed into sasha's clothed shoulder, definitely staining her frilly dress. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess right now." You stepped away and wiped your eyes several times. 

"No, don't apologize. You don't have to tell me what happened, either. Let's go find Eren, yeah?" She gently took my face in her hands and wiped away at my tears. She hooked her arm through mine again as we continued our search for Eren. 

We finally found him after looking for a good fifteen minutes. He was sitting alone on the front porch with a beer in hand, his hair a ragged mess. He took a swig of it and scowled at the taste. Sasha nodded to you and left you alone with him. You opened the glass door and stood awkwardly behind him.

"Hey, Eren."

"The party's inside." He said bitterly.

"I know." You sat down next him and smoothed out your dress in the process. "What are you doing out here at your own party? I've been looking for you everywhere."

He sighed. "I heard what happened. with Jean and Mikasa. He went looking for her so I assume he's found her, that was thirty minutes ago, give or take. I needed a break and came out here." 

You let your head slump on his shoulder. He let out another long sigh. "I saw it happen. She ran upstairs so I came looking for you. I figured once I told you, you could end the party. That sounds ridiculous now, considering how many people came." You let out a dry laugh and felt him laugh along with you. His head rested on top of yours and he placed a gentle kiss on it.

"What are we gonna do now, Y/n? There’s no chance this'll go over well. The band could be ruined.” He paused and sighed. “I bet Armin would know what to do right about now."

"I bet he would." You took Eren's hand in yours. "I don't even want to think about what could happen."

"Neither do I. Do you want to stay out here a little while longer? We can go back in later." Eren offered.

"Yeah. That sounds nice." 

posted: 8/23/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[razberryyum]

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 2 (spoilers for everything)

(covers MDZS chaps 6 - 10 and a bit of 13)

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

(a 🐰 is earned every time there is a WangXian scene or even when they’re just thinking of each other)

I always tell people when I’m trying to get them to watch The Untamed that when they get to this particular scene in the second episode, they’ll know if they will be into the show. To me, this is the game-changer moment: you’re either in or out after this. If this scene doesn’t emotionally move you enough to at least continue on with the drama, nothing else will.  It is seriously one of the most romantic scenes I have ever seen captured on screen. This was the moment that made me realize not only was I now fully committed to CQL, but that I had also found a new obsession and was ready to devote myself to Mo Dao Zu Shi.  After all, something that can lead to the creation of such a beautiful scene MUST hold other invaluable treasures. So into the MDZS rabbit hole I went, happily diving head first.  

Even now I’m still amazed that this scene exists in the intact form that it does. I started The Untamed with little to no expectations, especially knowing the restrictions it was under AND having just finished Guardian and experiencing how poor creative decisions can arise due to censorship (or at least, using that as an excuse for their dumb story choices). As I mentioned previously, the first episode was a hard sell since they definitely did not put their best foot forward first, but I liked Xiao Zhan immediately and Wei Wuxian as a character was interesting enough that I wanted to learn more about his past that led to his death and rebirth. The small glimpses we saw of his relationship with Lan Zhan also fascinated me, but then with this second episode, the weak points of the pilot still remained: there was still bad CGI (the statue) and very amateurish technical mistakes (in the recognition scene, at one point, in a close-up shot they’re holding onto each other, but in the next far away backside shot they’re clearly standing apart from each other, only to return to holding each other once again once the camera cuts back to a close-up...whoever the editor is on CQL probably should dunk their head in the toilet every time these editing errors pop up) that made my initial viewing of this episode a frustrating one for most of its runtime. I think I spent most of my initial viewing just distracted, playing on my phone or something, until the big WangXian moment happened and then I was shocked and awed.  I know I wasn’t paying close attention that first time because when I rewatched the episode later on, I realized I missed a lot of dialogue and details. I have since revisited this second episode numerous times more, and I do feel bad about how dismissive I was initially. It’s a pretty loaded episode: it has funny, poignant, creepy, mysterious, and cool moments while still feeding us bits of the overarching plot. I definitely have developed an affection for it since my first viewing and it’s become one of my favorite episodes in the series.

Of Pining & other Heart-achy Things

This simple line from Jiang Cheng is enough to make my eyes well up with tears: I can’t help but imagine Lan Zhan traveling around the world for sixteen years, most likely all alone, stopping at different places to play Inquiry, fervently hoping that maybe one day he’ll finally receive an answering chord from Wei Ying, only to be confronted by a deafening silence again and again and again. How utterly sad and disappointed he must have been every time, and yet still, he never gave up and just went to the next location to do the same thing and experience the same heavy disappointment all over again. If that doesn’t make your heart ache, I’m sorry to tell you, your heart is no longer functional.

It’s a detail I don’t remember if the novel covered, but I’m assuming that Lan Zhan was the one to bring Wei Ying’s inventions like the spirit attraction flag and the compass back to Gusu and incorporate them for use in his sect’s normal cultivation practices.  I know other people have use his tools as well since that nameless cultivator at the start of the episode was also using the spirit compass, but I feel that with Lan Wangji, he probably purposefully acquired and adapted WWX’s techniques so that every time they’re used, they can serve as a reminder of Wei Ying for him. Though it does make me wonder how Lan Zhan managed to get those approved by his uncle; I can’t imagine Lan Qiren being ok with using anything that was created by the man whom he blames for the corruption of his beloved nephew and model student. Did LWJ just pretend he created them instead? That doesn’t even sound right. Maybe Uncle Lan decided to be merciful and just let Lan Zhan win this one since he was probably obviously miserable after Wei Ying’s death.   Yeah, I can buy that scenario, especially since the flag and compass are pretty useful tools.  

I wondered did LWJ already suspect “Mo Xuanyu” was Wei Ying before he started playing Wuji on his flute. It’s curious that he happened to be in that part of the forest at that time. I’m guessing his Wei Ying senses were tingled when he heard about Mo Xuanyu’s skills from Sizhui and the boys so that’s why he was hanging around the vicinity just in case MXY reveals his true identity. After waiting 16 years for this reunion, it’s no wonder Lan Zhan had no qualms about holding onto WWX’s wrist in public for much longer than socially appropriate.  

I actually get a little emotional every time I rewatch this episode and watch Jin Ling display his mad archery skills because I would always think of how much he takes after his dad. His parents would’ve been so proud to see him all grown up like this; Shijie would’ve been so happy she probably would get teary-eyed as well every time she saw her boy in action. Sure, he’s a spoiled little princess, but he is also a pretty skilled princess with a heart of gold and I just wish they had more time together as a family.  

They looked so happy, look at all those smiles. It really makes me so sad that Wei Ying will probably never be able to hug JC like that again, and of course he’ll never be able to hug Shijie period. Great now I want to cry again.

Lan Jingyi Appreciation Section

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this precious boy by name so far, so I wanted to take this opportunity to show him some much deserved love. Lan Jingyi with his resting bitch face and steady stream of snark was really the MVP of this episode. He actually made me laugh out loud a few times...in fact, he almost always makes me laugh as soon as he scrunches up his face like he’s smelling something bad. I recently saw someone mention that he’s really the most un-Lan of the Lans (sorry, I forgot who posted that so I apologies for not giving proper credit) and that is really the perfect description of him. I love this kid as much as I love Sizhui and Jin Ling, and I am also sincerely fascinated by him. I mean, who raised him in the Gusu Lan sect? Cuz I cannot imagine Lan Qiren being the one since Jingyi undoubtedly would’ve had all his snark driven out of him at an early age. Hell, the amount of disciplinary action he probably had to have gone through would’ve probably killed him at a young age.  Did he join the sect when he was already fully formed so that’s why he’s still breaking Lan sect rules right and left? He threatened an old man and is like rude to everyone. I don’t know all 3000 rules but I’m pretty sure being mean to the elderly and insulting to supposedly mentally unstable people are probably not allowed. If anything, his disposition would make him more suitable for the Lanling Jin sect and yet he’s with the stuffy Lans. WHY? I could watch a whole spin-off series with just him and the other juniors as long as we get to learn about how he came to be with the Gusu Lan sect. He’s hilarious and adorable, and among the many the reasons why I wish we had more episodes for the present-day arc, one of them is because I wanted to spend more time with the juniors, especially Lan Jingyi, even if it meant the screenwriters would’ve had to go off book and create new scenes for them. It would’ve been well worth it to hear LJY throw more shade at people.  

Random Bits of Randomness

It’s kinda crazy how WWX just stood there with his back turned, oblivious to Jin Ling’s attack. If Lan Zhan’s blade hadn’t blocked JL’s sword, that would’ve been the end of our main protagonist. I just thought that was such an odd scene...I would’ve felt just a little better if Wei Ying had at least had a little more awareness that an attack was heading for him and made some attempt to get out of the way.  

Ugh, that mask. First of all it’s ugly AF, and secondly it’s so freaking ill-fitting it was distracting. Would’ve been nice if the production team gave him a mask that actually fit his face. I mean, did it HAVE to be THAT damn big? I’m amazed they don’t have bts clips of Xiao Zhan tripping and hurting himself because the stupid mask blocked his vision.

Other than being a brilliant mastermind and Oscar-worthy actor, Nie Huaisang has got to be one of the greatest cultivators if not THE greatest cultivator of all time to be able to conjure up an illusion like that. That thing was doing real damage to people. If it was just a phantom, what the heck was holding up those two cultivators in midair like that? And what kicked Jin Ling around? I know Wei Ying was able to drive people crazy with his flute during his Yiling Patriarch phase, but his handiwork still felt more grounded and reasonable than this.  

Questions I still have (please feel free to answer them):

- Who was that old man at the grave? Someone NHS paid to just hang around the graves until the juniors and WWX came by?  

- So NHS basically fucked up Yan’s entire family and God knows how many other people just to get WWX to eventually play his flute to lure Wen Ning out from wherever he was hiding?

- How did JGY not know Wen Ning escaped? Or did he just leave those details to Xue Yang so he didn’t really care about what happened to Wen Ning?  I’m trying if this was addressed in the book but my mind is coming up empty. I don’t think it was brought up in the show though, or I just completely missed it.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

In the Midst of Catastrophe

A/N: I had a couple of requests for Prinxiety with the Lost Cat AU, so it’s finally here! Sorry if it’s a lot like my other two lol And sorry for errors; I didn’t edit it super closely because the guilt of not posting this one when I posted two other ones was eating at me all week lol Edit: Just learned how to do Read More on Mobile; sorry about that lol

College AU that is different from my existing one lol

Warning for cussing, upset stomach mention, alcohol reference, sadness/crying, stranger paranoia, anxiety symptoms, implied violent pet death mention, family death mention, and actual pet death mention (SPOILER BUT NOT VIRGIL’S CAT NO WORRIES)

The sleepy, grey rays of an overcast Sunday morning filtered through Virgil Anderson’s curtains, only brightening enough to pull the young man from a fitful sleep around 11 in the morning. With a groan, Virgil threw his blankets off and trudged into the kitchen he shared with his two other roommates, perching hunched on one of the trio’s bar stools with a yawn.

“Morning, Moonshine!” Virgil’s bubbly roommate, Patton, breeezed past him and into the kitchen, clicked on the coffee maker, and turned on a stove eye.

“Pat, I told you, moonshine is alcohol.”

“I know, but Logan is my Starshine, and I’m his Sunshine, so you’re my Moonshine. You have to be!” Patton pouted a bit and gestured toward the breakfast food part of their pantry. “Pancakes? French toast? Just toasted toast?”

“Nothing right now.” Virgil grumbled, sliding an arm over his rolling stomach.

Patton frowned, a sad gleam in his eyes, and he slowly crossed to his roommate to wrap him in a warm, loving hug.

“No luck with Shadow then, huh?”

Virgil shook his head mutely, and Patton gave him a squeeze and rested his head on Virgil’s.

“I’m so sorry, Vee. I’m sure he’ll turn up soon. Cats are smart like that; they have a built in homing device or something.”

“Something like that.” A deep, sleepy voice cut in from across the room, and the quiet pair looked up to find their third roommate trying to rub his eyes into wakefulness. “Or just animal instinct.”

“Morning, Lolo.” Patton murmured sweetly through Virgil’s hair.

“I assume this means that Shadow is sticking to his leave of absence?”

Virgil nodded again and allowed his chin to fall to his chest with a loud sigh. Patton made a distressed noise in the back of his throat and moved to hold Virgil from the side, rubbing Virgil’s back with one hand and moving to take Virgil’s hand with the other.

“He’ll come home, Virgil. I know he will. He loves you,” Patton whispered softly in Virgil’s ear. “Promise me you’ll come to us if you start to feel...wonky. Promise me.”

Virgil quirked a brow at Patton’s word choice, but he ultimately nodded and squeezed Patton’s hand, touching the other to his chin and signing “Thank you” as Patton stood up straight. Their sign that Virgil was ultimately okay but a little overwhelmed. Patton smiled, patted his shoulder, and crossed to Logan, quickly wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. He breathed out a soft “good morning” and placed an equally soft kiss on his lover’s lips. Logan blinked and reciprocated before Patton pulled away and folded into the taller man’s side.

“Hungry, sweetpea?”

“Soon.” Logan grunted and allowed Patton to lead him to the table and sit him down with a light pat to the crown of his head.

“Sleepy Logan is my favorite.” Patton whispered to Virgil conspiratorially as he passed. “He’s so cute when he’s tired.”

“Or grumpy.” Virgil chuckled quietly when Patton came back with a steaming cup of coffee.

“That’s before he sleeps. Or if I wake him up early.”

“Have you tried posters, Virgil?” Logan suddenly spoke up from the table as Patton set down his mug, startling his boyfriend a bit.

“What?”

“Lost Cat posters. For Shadow.”

“Oh, right, yeah. I could do that, I guess. Slap something together in Word and hang them up.”

“I’ll help!”

“Patton, we have study group today.”

Patton groaned dramatically. “But LOLOOOOOO we HAVE to help Virgiiiillll!! Don’t you care about Shadow at aaaalllll?”

“We can take a few posters to hang up as we go.”

“But...”

“It’s fine, Pat. I got it.” Virgil pulled out a smile.

“It has only been a three days.” Logan offered. “Cats can disappear for a couple of weeks and return unscathed.”

“I know. I’ve always had cats, and one vanished for a month once, but....Shadow is different.”

“We know.” Patton smiled sadly at his roommate. “And he’s a smart cookie kitty, so he’ll probably be home by tonight! Maybe he just went exploring. He’s still pretty new to this place!”

“True.” Virgil sighed, trying to push down the negative scenarios flying through his mind. “But we just finally got clearance for him to live here with me, and now he’s gone. It’s just frustrating. And scary.”

“I know. Why don’t you get started on the posters if you can’t eat?”

“Good idea.” Virgil pushed himself from the breakfast bar and shuffled to his laptop, abandoned on their coffee table from the night before. “What do you even put on a missing pet poster?”

“Usually the animal’s name, your name, contact information, a reward if possible, and a picture with or without a brief physical description.” Logan replied between notes of toast.

Virgil nodded and typed quietly for the next ten minutes or so. “Okay. Come see.”

Patton and Logan peered over their roommate’s shoulders, each with his respective breakfast in his hand while inspecting the poster.

“Virgil! You can’t put cuss words! What if a kid sees it?”

“Then they can learn.”

“It can certainly get people’s attention...”

“Lo! Don’t encourage this!”

“I believe it is an appropriate poster.”

“Thanks, Lo.”

Patton whined and dragged his feet back to the kitchen table, falling toward it dramatically. “You’re corrupting the CHILDREN!”

“Patton,” Virgil quipped. “We all know you have a potty mouth at the right times.”

“That was ONE TIME during Monopoly!”

“And two during Yahtzee.” Logan deadpanned.

“I think one during Pictionary, too.” Virgil snickered not unkindly as Patton blushed.

“....Fine. It works.”

“Nice.” Virgil hit the enter key and sent 25 copies of the small poster to his printer. 25 copies of Shadow’s solid black fur and big green eyes stared up at him, framed by these words:

LOST ASSHOLE CAT

Shadow Anderson

Fluffy asscat with black fur and green eyes

Basically Toothless as a cat

I need this jerk, so please help a dude out

Call or text 1-555-8474

$100 REWARD

(Sorry I’m a broke college kid)

-

The sun was setting by the time Virgil headed back home, an afternoon of hanging up posters and asking people having yielded nothing. Virgil stumbled through his bedroom door just as his phone went off for the 13th time since he hung up his first poster. (6 false leads, 2 pranks, 1 occultist, and 3 other pet owners offering their advice.) Virgil collapsed in his bed and took a deep breath before facing what would likely be another disappointment.

[Pat😄]

Hey, V! Did you find him?!

[💜Virge🖤]

Not yet

[Pat😄]

Aww I’m sorry! My friend, Valerie, volunteers at a shelter to get experience for her Vet. program, and she says it’s the most popular for found pets. I’ll send you the number!

[💜Virge🖤]

Thanks pat

Virgil sighed and dropped his phone next to him, closing his eyes and just breathing to calm his racing heart. His breath hitched when his phone vibrated multiple times, second long gaps in between each message, and he lay staring at the device until it had stopped moving for a full few minutes. Slowly, he reached over and brought the device to his face, and his heart stuttered when a screenful of notifications met his eyes. It was a stream of texts from the same unfamiliar number.

[+1 555-7662]

Did you find your cat????

Oh shit you don’t know me. Hi, I’m Roman! I’m a Leo, and I love long walks on the beach.

Lol anyway sorry I just wanted to make sure you got your cat back!

[+1 555-8474]

No not yet but thanks for asking

[+1 555-7662]

Oh okay, sorry to hear that. Hope he comes home soon!

[+1 555-8474]

Thanks again

[+1 555-7662]

Is there any way I can help??? More Posters? Talking to people?

Virgil quirked a brow. What the hell was this guy’s game?

[+1 555-8474]

No not really only if you find him somehow

Again thanks for the offer

[+1 555-7662]

Oh okay just let me know if anything changes. You have my number lol

[+1 555-8474]

Yup

“Might have to block that number...” Virgil muttered just as the front door flew open.

“Viiiiiiiirgiiiiilllll!” His roommate sang as he flounced into the room. “We brought your favorite Pad Thaaaaaiiiii!”

“Thanks, Pat. Thai.” Virgil’s lips quirked into a grin at Patton’s approving laughter; he turned he slipped his phone into his pocket, the device staying silent all night and into the next morning. Until 7AM.

[+1 555-7662]

Good morning! Any overnight luck on the kitty caper?

Hello? Virgil?!

[+1 555-8474]

What the hell, man?! You understand that 7AM is an ungodly hour to be awake for some people???? and no my cat is still gone but thanks for remind me

[+1 555-7662]

Oh god I’m so sorry I have to get up early to get in a decent work out and I just didn’t even think about it Wow okay I’ll stop texting you good night or morning or whatever

Virgil turned his phone on silent and threw it into his clothes hamper before turning over.

-

The early morning texts set the mood for that week. Roman texted Virgil daily, sometimes multiple times daily, for updates on the Shadow situation, and Virgil was becoming increasingly incensed with this stranger’s obsession with his cat and his life.

[+1 555-7662]

Hello! Hope today is a better day! Let me know what I can do to help!

Hello hello! Any luck on Shadow?

Viiiiiuuurrrrrgiiiiiiilllllll???

[+1 555-8474]

No not yet

[+1 555-7662]

Oh no 😔

As the days progressed, Roman’s texts progresssed beyond Shadow, and he periodically asked Virgil about his own life, having weeded out of Virgil that they attended the same college and were both first semester sophomores. Any other person would have brushed off Roman’s enthusiasm, but every time his phone buzzed, Virgil’s heart lurched painfully in his chest. Notification sounds of any type caused an immediate physical reaction in Virgil, so he normally kept his phone completely silent and answered when he felt ready to. However, lately Virgil had to keep his phone on vibrate so that he didn’t miss an actual update on Shadow, but all he was getting was updates on Roman’s life and curiosity.

[+1 555-7662]

Ugh astronomy is soooo boring!!!!

[+1 555-7662]

Omg late for rehearsal again lol he’s so going to kick me out of the troupe

[+1 555-7662]

Saved today! Director’s tired blew out oops

[+1 555-7662]

Any luck with Shadow?!

It wasn’t that Virgil had anything against a kind stranger or Roman in particular, but that was the issue. Roman was a stranger, and Virgil couldn’t conceive of any universe in which a total stranger would care so much about him or his cat unless he was a psycho or stalker or something. The thought left Virgil paralyzed. What was this guy’s angle? There had to be one, and Virgil wanted no part of it.

He left Roman on Read for a few days.

-

That particularly rough Thursday was when it all came to a head. Shadow was still missing; Virgil overslept, had to skip breakfast, wasn’t ready for a pop quiz in his 50 minute 11am class, and nearly missed his noon class in a mad dash to get a snack in between (the professor was an asshole who locked the doors right at noon.) On top of all that, prank message number three came through.

[Unknown]

Your cat and my front bumper became good friends today

Virgil’s stomach lurched and his heart pounded; he threw his phone onto his rug and wept bitterly into his hands. Thank god he was already home.

“Virgil?! Honey, are you okay?!” Virgil shook his head furiously as Patton shuffled into his room and gasped. “Aw, baby...”

“Some asshole just sent me....he said that Shadow-“

“Oh no, another prank?” Patton murmured softly as he sat next to Virgil on the bed; he gently coaxed his friend into his arms when he nodded affirmation and stroked Virgil’s hair as he sobbed. Patton bent over a bit when Virgil’s phone set off in a stream of messages. “Oh dear...” Patton released Virgil to pluck up the phone, but before he could silence it, he noticed the repetition on the screen.. “Someone you don’t know really wants to talk to you...about....acting? And Shadow?”

“Oh...god....” Virgil whimpered between sobs. “Roman...” He took a few minutes to breathe and calm himself. “Some guy who saw my posters...He’s been texting me NON-STOP, and I’ve barely even replied!”

“Hey, let’s just put this away, okay?.....” Sensing another breakdown, Patton put the phone into silent mode and slid it into Virgil’s bedside drawer. “You need a break. Come watch a movie with me.”

Virgil eventually relented and followed Patton who decided that Logan could watch Virgil’s phone while they relaxed. A few hours of movies and roommate time found Virgil only marginally better, but he could at least fake it well enough that Patton let him be in his room alone again. He’d gotten his phone back from Logan and found, to his annoyance, multiple screens of messages from Roman, the most recent about Shadow.

[+1 555-7662]

No luck yet but still looking!

I’m so sorry your going through this. I hope he comes home soon.

Any luck on your end? No more bad leads I hope.

Virgil? Are you okay?

[+1 555-8474]

Roman oh my god chill out!

[+1 555-7662]

Whoa what’s with the anger all of a sudden, Orlando Gloom?

[+1 555-8474]

What the hell does that even mean?

Whatever

Roman just leave me alone oh my god you’ve blown up my phone this week just chill

[+1 555-7662]

I’m sorry for wanting to help you find Shadow and for trying to distract you from your sadness.

[+1 555-8474]

Oh is that what this was? Well I’m SO sorry for ruining your act of charity

[+1 555-7662]

Look, I wasn’t trying to guilt trip you; I really just wanted to help.

[+1 555-8747]

Why do you care about helping me so much?! You don’t even know me!

Radio silence for literal hours, and just when Virgil felt like he should apologize, Roman replied.

[+1 555-7662]

....I lost my cat a few months ago. She’s the only one I have left.

[+1 555-8474]

What?

[+1 555-7662]

My parents and younger brother died in a head-on collision two years ago. She’s literally the only family I have left. Thankfully, I found her after a month or so; an older woman found her and kept her inside all that time so she was fine, but that period of her being gone was so agonizing and anxious and lonely and just awful, and the thought of someone else going through that just....I don’t know hit me I guess.

Oh my god. Wow. I’m so sorry that was way too much too tell you. Oh my god I didn’t even ask if it was okay to get that heavy. I’m so sorry holy shit!!!

[+1 555-8474]

Roman. It’s okay. I’m sorry I snapped at you.

Thank you for caring about me and Shadow

Suddenly, his phone began to ring, and he sat up quickly, eying another unfamiliar number, but the first new call in a while, wearily before answering.

“....Hello?”

“Heeeeyyyy is this Virgil?”

“....uh, yeah?”

“Hey, gurl, I’m Remy, not that it matters, but I think I found your little Salem.”

“Shadow.”

“I’m just messin’, gurl, I know. I see it on his collar.”

Virgil’s heart stalled. None of the others had mentioned Shadow’s collar.

“What does it say on the back?” Virgil asked slowly.

“E.S.A. Emotional Support Animal.”

“Oh my god, you have him!” Virgil felt his eyes well with tears.

“Sweet beans!! Actually, that’s where I am. Sweet Beans Coffee by East Campus.”

“I know the place. I’ll be there. Thank you so much!”

“See ya soon!”

-

“Never do that again, you asshole.” Virgil rubbed between Shadow’s ears, oblivious purs of satisfaction emanating through the beast’s body as he lay curled in his owner’s lap. “Thank God Remy found you in your dumpster apartment before something else did. God.” Virgil sighed and leaned back right as an idea clicked into place. He leaned over and snatched his phone, noting the concerned messages from Roman when he hadn’t answered their thread from hours ago, and took a selfie with Shadow in the foreground.

[+1 555-8474]

Got my asshole back

[+1 555-7662]

Yay oh my god congrats!

OMG I DO know you! I wasn’t sure before, and I didn’t want to weird you out if it wasn’t you, but we had that freshman seminar class together!

I never said anything in that class because I’m not the best at articulating myself, but you sat with the really sweet guy and the smart kid! You guys always had amazing points, and I wanted to be friends with you guys so bad, but I didn’t know how to say anything without being a total lame asshole creeper.

[+1 555-8474]

I don’t remember a Roman in that class. it was pretty small so I would remember

[+1 555-7662]

Oh Roman is my middle name. My first name is John after my dad, but that’s super boring compared to Roman so I started going by that, but the prof never remembered when I asked him personally to call me that so I gave up.

[+1 555-8474]

Oh my god you’re John Prince

Virgil blushed fiercely at the realization. He’d had all of two conversations with Jo-Roman for the class, but he’d definitely been the one star struck by the other young man’s incredible looks and charm. He was right, his ideas had often come out jumbled, if not passionately so, and Virgil had secretly admired his gusto, but he never imagined someone like Roman would look at him twice, especially not in the way Virgil wanted. Roman always seemed like a lady’s man to him, but perhaps, like before, he’d had Roman pegged the wrong way.

[+1 555-7662]

He I am. John Roman Prince at your service.

Roman sent a selfie of him wearing a crown and red sash with a fluffy white cat with big blue eyes perched primly in his lap.

[+1 555-7662]

And this is Sugar. She would love to meet Shadow sometime if that is agreeable with you

[+1 555-8474]

A kitty play date? Sounds kinda weird but cute. Like a dumb Hallmark movie. What would we do while our cats talked?

[+1 555-7662]

Talk in person. Get to know each other for real like a dumb Hallmark movie. If you’re open to that kind of thing.

[+1 555-8474]

I am actually. Believe it or not, Shadow isn’t an outdoor cat, so is my place okay? Logan and Patton will be here, too, probably, so I hope you like Disney movies and science.

[+1 555-7662]

One I love and the other I can learn to love. When should we arrive?

[+1 555-8474]

7?

[+1 555-7662]

Purrfect.

[dyingfangirl]

I’ve gotten an insane desire to do a playlist write-up in the style of Critical Role so here it is.

Maighread Allanach is the character I’ve played longest, and the group I play with are the most lovely people and so this is mostly for them, but if you’d like some insight into my dnd character here you go!

Don’t Ask Me Why by Great Caesar Maigh's song for her parents. Maigh's dad was raised noble, and her mom was but she was the youngest so she could really do whatever she wanted with her life. They did run off for a while, but then Maigh's grandfather got sick so they went back home and settled down. They dreamed of a happy life and a healthy family and Maigh was conceived. I edited Maigh's backstory a little bit after I heard this song for the first time and made the night Maigh was born very stormy and troublesome for the midwives to make it to the home, but her parents had each other and everything turned out okay.

Trouble by The New Respects But then Maigh discovered her magic, which does run in her family a little bit but she's the first Sorcerer. So little Maigh caused a bit of trouble and couldn't control her powers. Cue fear and ignorance and lakeside life at age 8. She still doesn't like the trouble of her powers but she has learned through trial and error that she can minimize the effect on her allies, but the whole party is learning that they're beginning to toy in some criminal and otherwise untrustworthy groups that are bringing trouble right back into her life.

Storm King by Big Tree Maigh joined her mother on one of the excursions to the nearest town (selling the things that come from their little lakeside cabin/farm and buying things they can't get there) and she discovered truly how much she was missing. She found a job posting for mercenaries to work for the militia and hasn't been home since.

The Fall by half•alive Something about Maigh made her afraid to trust the group. The Fall is about falling in love, but when you're someone who doesn't really experience romantic love, and the only love you've ever known is from your parents, anyone else is awkward and strange.

Feeling Alive by Earl St. Clair This is the moment that she learned these are The People (TM). She had such a calm and peaceful lakeside life before she got curious, and then meeting these people has made her feel alive in a way she hasn't ever before.

3am Bounce by No BS! Brass Band Maigh's battle song. It has the fun and mildly carefree nature that Maigh has, and a light amount of chaos. I thought that an instrumental song would be a better fit because Maigh, being a Wild Magic Sorcerer, has so much chaos surrounding her (especially in battle when she's constantly casting spells) that having lyrics would be too much chaos. I also had a lot of trouble finding songs for Maigh that when I heard this song it was perfect for her.

South Wind by Akira Kosemura So many of Maigh's songs are about the love and trust she feels for her party. Such a large part of her is really experiencing the world for the first time and being in awe and excitement of the adventures they're going on, but a small part of her just wants some time to settle down and just spend the days together without constant threat and danger surrounding them.

Technicolor by SAINTE Maigh used to have blue skin (perks of being a sorcerer) so putting Technicolor was funny for that reason. She definitely does not want all these adventures and powers to be a dream. A good portion of the party has spells, and half of us are primarily spellcasters so it makes for quite the rainbow battlefield. Is this battle song part 2?

Gorgeous by X Ambassadors She's learned to trust her party and they've made her feel welcome in the world, when (through fear and ignorance) she never felt that way before. Now her whole goal is making her party feel the way they make her feel. And also I couldn't go without putting an X Ambassadors song on the playlist. We are young, we are free / Like renegades, like James Dean / Beat the drum, sing off-key / You set me free, you set me free

Capable by The Wild Reeds Maigh is 20 (which I forgot, I thought I made her 18 lol) and so when people meet the party and see a 20-year-old Human girl who doesn't wear anything fancy with everyone else they don't expect her to be the main talker (hell yeah 19 charisma). Maigh can let that get to her a little bit, but she knows that she only needs to stick around (and get more magical items). She has seen and been through so much for being so young that it doesn't matter to her anymore.

Family by Mother Mother Out of game, it has been 10 months since we started playing. In game, we've been a party for 3 months (it feels like, feywild swampy caused a 6-month jump) but they've been through so much that she's already become so ride or die for these people. Out of game, the last level up (or maybe 2) she's grabbed some more spells that give buffs to the party rather than straight up damaging the enemy.

Foreigners God by Hozier As of writing this, this song is for a very recent session. Something the party had been hired to do was purify and return temples of an old and mostly dead god back to working condition because they had been corrupting the lands surrounding them. Maigh isn't really a worshipper of any specific god(s), but when you fall unconscious and fail 2 death saving throws and then your tressym and wizard are dead within 12 seconds of each other, felled by wraiths within one of these temples you feel like you have to start believing in something. A good place to start is "a foreigner's god", AKA your cleric (and her god).

Good for Goodness by Brittain Ashford Throughout it all, Maigh just wants to do good in the world. Keep the love for the people she cares about. She only hurts things that deserve it. She knows that she could make a mistake in that, but she accepts her mistakes and will do her best to not make those mistakes again.

To the Displacer Kitties/Gal Pals of Unknown Alliance you're the best DnD group a girl could ask for and I hope that having this insight makes you cry (not really) and I love all of you so much. <3

[lightsandlostbells]

SkamFr 2.7 reaction

Emma exposed as RPF shipper

Episode 7 

Clip 1 - Lucalex

Ahhh, a relaxing afternoon hanging out with friends, being on your separate phones. That seems like an OH YOUTHS complaint, but I’m saying it in recognition.

“They seem really close … imagine if they’re together?” If they were a couple they’d be pretty brave about posting pictures of them together on IG at this stage, even non-coupley pics, and even if you assume they are out and not closeted.

Emma is so into this concept of Lucas and Alex together. She was biting her lip in excitement over two dudes getting into a car together.

She also is quick to come up with that ship portmanteau (Lucalex) so you know she’s on Tumblr.

Manon, you sounds very reasonable about this Lucas-Alex situation, but you also brought up the car incident to your friend who is clearly ready to start drafting her Lucalex 100k slow-burn masterpiece. You can’t expect to dangle such a tasty morsel in front of a salivating person and hope to take it back.

But at least Manon isn’t like, wow what a fun game this is after her conversation with Lucas last episode.

“This guy is gay, I slept with him two days ago” - Mickael always taking everything Eskild said or did just a few steps more scandalous.

Mickael and Lucas are hair twins.

Clip 2 - Ate a dick

Their kissing is passionate so I give them props for that. On a scene by scene basis, just evaluating them in this moment, they’re fine. I don’t know how big Noorhelm fans feel about this actor, but Charles, whatever his character faults, has more intensity than William and I read more affection in his expressions. I found the comment about his boner far less awkward than in the original.

I still love Manon’s lamby cardigan!

Bless Daphne but the “ate a dick” comment and the subsequent reaction were about 10 times more unintentionally awkward than the original.

I mean, Manon is right. What obligations do these girls have to these dudes at all?

Julien is a little effeminate ... Daphne sure won’t let that concept of lesbian Manon go, huh. I guess if Emma is writing Lucalex fanfic, Daphne is all about those f/f epics. 

Also mentioning how beautiful Manon is … Daphne … girl….

(Daphne’s fic is all Manon/Female Reader amirite)

Clip 3 - Bedroom makeouts

Uhhh … in the previous clip, released on Tuesday, Charles says he has to study later on Tuesday. Then he says “Tomorrow? We could go to your place.” Manon agrees. Yet this clip was also released on Tuesday. They’re wearing the same clothes in both clips. Like … what? Am I hallucinating this glitch? Sloppy.

I don’t even know how they made this mistake considering it can’t be a post-production error, or that someone just uploaded it by accident on Tuesday, since they’re wearing the same outfits. This is a writing/filming mistake. Did they have a text where they changed the meeting time or something? They should have just changed the timestamp and released it on Wednesday, even though it’d be noticeable with the clothes, or edited out the bit with where Charles suggests tomorrow. Do some awkward ADR.

The whole joke about her waiting for marriage to have sex has never sat right with me because of how he didn’t accept no as an answer when they got together. It’s one thing if they got together in a healthier way, you could give it the benefit of the doubt and take it in a lighter way, but because they didn’t, moments like this are kinda tainted for me. (Plus the classic line in the final clip of the season ... but we’ll see if they keep that line.)

Heh, Mickael’s comment about if it were his room, the guy would be naked, and Charles laughing at that, was good. 

As well Mickael talking about announcing people are straight. “It’s not a stigma!”

So far Mickael seems more of a blatant comic relief character than Eskild - he’s just more, if that makes sense, and we haven’t seen some of the more nurturing, affectionate moments between he and Manon - in fact I’d say Manon has seemed more annoyed with him than Noora did with Eskild.  However, we haven’t yet gotten to the more serious scenes with his character, so I hope that we get to see Mickael pull off the heavier material.

Charles takes this whole incident well and laughs and smiles a lot, so that’s nice. 

I applaud them for leaving out that annoying line about William’s pals being excited to party with a Muslim girl. Charles’ crew definitely has the same idea in mind, as seen later, but I mean ... I don’t need that Our Hero being so casual about the ideas of his buddies fetishizing a Muslim girl. Because that’s what it was. 

Clip 4 - Call me

Manon just sank Emma’s ship. For a moment, anyway. 

Emma’s like, either I get to hook up with Alex or my OTP is canon, win-win!

“Maybe he made a move and Lucas turned him down.” I think Mickael is the kind of person who would assume if he got turned down, the guy must not be into dudes at all. Because how could you resist Mickael otherwise?

More setting up S3/Lucas’ story. That’s fine, it’s fair to lay that foundation, and Emma obviously knows heavy stuff is up with him. It’s nice that they show some concern over what he’s going through.

Manon’s joke about Emma’s strong body odor and Emma’s resulting sadface was very cute.

Clip 5 - That escalated quickly

Daphne said they were the only girls Charles invited but there are clearly other girls on that bus? I guess the emphasis is that they’re the only ones Charles invited, and that the other Raptors invited the other girls. Just pointing this out because the squad were the only girls at the Riot Club party.

That is some champion hair-flipping from Daphne, what a queen.

Well he can’t be French Julien Dahl if he has a face and is not just some mystery man shrouded in smoke.

I want to knee those dudes Imane is speaking to in the nuts. She is showing a ton of grace and patience here. And like, they’re not being OTT bad. They’re being just casually ignorant and annoying enough.

Ha, I know you don’t want to be set up but this is like the easiest small talk in the world, Manon. It’s Madrid.

Daphne talking to Charles, oh my God. Give it up already. This is agonizing.

Manon has been looking extremely pretty with her lovey-dovey face lately. Although the cuts from her looking gorgeous to Charles - who is not an ugly guy, to be clear - with that somewhat unnerving look on his face was kind of jarring.

“Promise me not to move from here.” OK I’m cracking up because they easily could have seen this fight from inside the bus. From a perspective of ensuring her safety? Sure, stay on the bus, good advice. From the additional POV of Manon, you’re not supposed to see me like this? Lmao, you guys are fighting like 10 feet away.

THIS FIGHT, MAN. 

I was laughing during part of it? I know it’s not supposed to be a well-choreographed fight scene or anything, it’s just a bunch of teenage idiots roughhousing but they just looked so ridiculous.

And then the dude just shoved Charles and it IMMEDIATELY ESCALATED into him smashing the bottle over the guy’s head!

What

AND THEN HE FUCKING KICKED HIM IN THE RIBS WHEN THE DUDE LANDED ON THE GROUND

WHAT

AND CHARLES PUT THE GUY IN A HEADLOCK AND STARTED PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE

WHAT

I mean,  if they wanted to make Charles seem more like a real ~bad boy~, this worked? It was so OTT, my dudes. 

And all the girls look horrified and concerned except Emma, who is too drunk to give a single shit. Bless.

General comments:

For what it’s worth, in terms of charisma level, my personal ranking is Edoardo > Charles > William > Alexander. Don’t know anything about Daniel yet to determine his ranking.

Ummm why are these dummies posting pics of their matching Starbucks cups on Instagram? Do Manon and Charles not think that Daphne is going to stalk every fucking thing that Charles posts on social media and realize that Charles and Manon were at Starbucks at the same day … or that the other cup in Charles’ pic is labeled “Ma-” and has the exact same lipstick print as the cup in Manon’s pic ... Save it for when your relationship is no longer a secret, you twits.

Not to be harsh because I’m sure that would be cute later in the season, but come on.

I don’t speak French so if I missed the context of something, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[llanaswanderland-blog]

The letters

This may be the longest letter that I’ll be doing for you, @allthesmalltigs And I am not sure if you’ll be reading this; but just a disclaimer, these are the things I want to say to you (kindly see dates in parentheses for reference).

For now I can’t collate all the words I need to say to you (that’s why this will be uploaded in one big tumblr entry). Please bear with the continuous editing I’ll be doing for the next days…weeks…or months…until I pour out my feelings for you. You don’t need to do reply to this. I just need to vent my emotions since I don’t have Twitter anymore.

(04052017)

We had a good 11-month (and 2 weeks to be exact) run. I may not have accepted things right away but eventually I will. Hey you’re right. Knowing that you’ve deleted our photos on Instagram connotes that you want to cut / forget all memories of being together [I think and assume]. That part I understand. It just sucks on my side because I still have feelings for you. You are the person I miss talking to, but I need to accept the fact that we are not together anymore…and you need the tantamount space just to forget your feelings [or even memories] for me as well. I get that. You’re right with not talking to me is the biggest move you can do just to move on from the relationship we have. You’re right re what I am feeling right now. I know I am responsible with all the emotions I am experiencing right now, but you can’t blame me for choosing to love you at the start. I guess being friends would not be as soon as I was expecting. 

(04062017)

Hey, so I just got disturbed with your latest post on Facebook. To be honest, I check your profile from time to time to see if you have already replaced me. Why I got disturbed? Well, you don’t usually post on Facebook and tagging someone…only one and she’s a woman. So I assume that she’s your new? Even though another part of me is giving you the benefit of the doubt, I have a gut feeling you’re seeing someone already. Screw this process I’m experiencing. I chose to undergo this process again because it’s what I did before with Art. Fuck this feeling. It really sucks. I find it disappointing from time to time whenever I remember your reasons on why you broke with me. It stings you know that? I find myself angry whenever I remember you in every happy situation I am in. Istorbo ka. The part you left me hanging because of your reasoning is just ugh. I don’t know what word I can replace with ‘ugh’. The last texts you sent me left me hanging. You were angry at me because you thought I blocked you from Twitter. I unfollowed you at first but I eventually thought of deleting my account. And voila! I can’t retrieve my Twitter anymore because it was deleted permanently. I was irritated on how you reply to my tweets indirectly that’s why I unfollowed you at first.Then again, I thought of deactivating it because of the temptation to read your tweets. You made your account private and even changed the name of your account so there is no way I can read them. But I read your response to one of your crushes using Meryl’s twitter. You made it a joke that you need someone who will not leave you. Srsly? You were the one who left me. I bargained when you were breaking up because it can still be fixed. But you made your decision and I respect that. The last texts you sent, the deletion of our photos on your IG, and your indirect tweets did not by any chance showed any respect on my side. I had to blurt these all out. But I don’t have a chance to talk to you anymore because you choose not to. I hope that someday you may realize that all I need from you is a sincere apology of what you made me feel. (to be continued)

(04072017)

I sent you a message of Messenger this morning; and to my expectation, you didn’t reply. I had to send that message because that is what I am feeling until now. These past weeks it’s either I am angry at you or sad, and to some extent both. But this morning, all I was feeling was the love I have given to you for past year (including the courting months). Yes I still love you but I guess it wouldn’t be reciprocated like before. Again thank you for making me love you after what Art did to me. I didn’t know I was capable of loving again after what I’ve gone through. Now, I need to divert my thoughts from you and focus on loving myself more. I have a bucketful of love in me that’s why I made a decision last year February 13 to make you feel that love. It was a decision– a risk I was willing to take. I can say that I have shown you the selfless kind of love, but I’m not sure if that’s what you have perceived. No two loves will ever be the same. My love for you is different from my exes or from the people I love and have loved. Have you seen the post I shared on Facebook? I was indirectly talking to you, but I guess you just brushed it off because you chose not to care anymore. I understand that. I know you wanted to move on quickly (I suppose). But that’s you. On my part, I just want to undergo this whole process until I am healed by time and by Him. Can I tell you another thing? Kanina when I woke up, a tear dropped from my left eye because I remembered you. I was feeling the love I have for you and then I compose the message I sent you. I was not feeling any hatred nor sadness. I was only feeling the love I have for you. Can I still love you from afar? Just like what I did with my past relationships. Don’t worry I won’t be bugging you or anything. I will just keep the good memories we had. I won’t delete or photos together on Instagram because what we had was real. It wasn’t a kind of relationship I took for granted or disregarded. Nagkataon lang na you were the only one I have photos with that’s why you didn’t see any photos of me and my other exes on Instagram. Don’t worry, I won’t make my next relationship feel that he should jealous of you because of the photos. You know I didn’t make you feel jealous of my guy friends or the guys I have dated before, so I will be doing the same with the next. Just so you know, I am not seeing anyone lately. I have no intention of dating anyone soon or be in a romantic relationship with. I have decided to love myself more until I get better.–to enjoy what the Universe has to offer me, to experience all the love God has for me, and to be ready for the next guy I can share my life with again. Thank you dear. ‘Til we meet again. 

(04112017)

It’s my second day of fasting from my social media accounts today. I haven’t gone over your FB and Instagram profiles so I guess that a yey from my side. It’s hard. It’s also tempting to take a glimpse of what you’re thinking or doing lately. I still miss you but I am not sure if it’s you who I miss or the idea of you before we broke up. It’s crazy thinking what I really feel for you. Every time I think about the good memories we had, I always make a decision not to care for you anymore. I always make a decision that the memories we created will remain as memories to be kept in my treasure box. I cherish you my dear. I still do but you don’t want it anymore. You don’t want me to be part of your life anymore (I guess). I need to remove the care I have for you. I am loving you from afar. I can’t hate you because that’s not me. That’s not how I view people who left me. I cannot understand now the real reason behind this event, but in the long run God will reveal it to me. Maybe I can get hurt even more if I know the real reason now but it still stirs up my curiosity. Maybe you’re still in love with your best friend? I don’t know. I could never know. I’m jealous of her now because she gets to talk to you; while I am here being just a stranger to you after all the time we spent together and the stories we shared. It’s kind of unfair on my part because things go wrong every time I give a part of me to a person I love and then leaves me or sees me invisible or worst never existed. Recently I have been reading chapters in the Book of Proverbs. I have found out that wisdom needs understanding. I haven’t fully grasped and accepted the real reason why we are not together anymore, but please do know that I am doing my best not to care for you anymore…just like what doing right now. 

(04122017)

You’re online on Messenger, and I saw my last message to you. It still remained ‘seen’. I read it again. I got to have it to myself, I did compose it right…almost error-free. It only lacks the word ‘other’. I am curious do you still look at my profiles in Facebook or Instagram? I have a hunch that it’s a yes? It’s just an assumption and more likely you wouldn’t answer my question. You do not talk to me anymore. I just see you through your posts in which I need to stop. I unfollowed you on Facebook so that I don’t get to see you latest updates. Though I find myself funny doing that because I still go to your profile and see your posts. Have you seen your posts that I’ve liked? I would be positive that yes you see them. Just to clarify, I unfollowed you on Facebook but I am still your Facebook friend. Maybe that’s what we are now? Friends via Facebook, but in reality maybe just mere strangers. From lovers turned into strangers. I did not choose this. I still blame you for choosing this silent treatment we’re having. The constant brush-offs. But in one angle, you’re right. Giving me this space is making me see how small things make me happy long before God introduced you in my life. It gave me more time to find lasting happiness I need. I am still finding it though. I am making myself happy. Oh yeah, after we broke up I started reading books again…well encouraging ones. I recently finished a book by Regina Brett titled, “God Never Blinks”. It’s a good book. It made me feel and see God in many ways I never thought He would be in. If we become friends again, I can lend you the book and maybe you’ll see the goodness the universe can offer you. The book I mentioned was the last thing I read the night before the morning I sent you my thank you text. Every time I think about us, I always veer away from the feeling of loneliness or depression caused by abandonment. Yes I felt abandoned after you left me just like that…just like a book in the shelf waiting to be read. This may sound weird but thank you for continuing to make the decision to brush me off from your life or not to reply to my last message on Messenger. I am still in the midst of finding happiness for myself and make it stay in my life. Before you came in my life, I learned how to be happy with the small things in my life. When we broke up, hatred covered my heart but there were amazing events happening. Every time I am reminded of the pain of a disappointment and abandonment, small and happy circumstances keep on coming in my life (i.e. thank you messages from my managers and the consultants I provide admin support to, free food from my new friends in the EA team, or the last slot in the jeepney so I won’t be late). Galing ‘no? I just realized it as soon as my heart is transforming into a more durable and wiser one…as soon as love and hope are trying to cover it again. In time, peace will also join the two. I am still praying to God that in time I will have the heart to forgive you even though you are not asking me to. I still love you but I need to love myself more and seek God’s wisdom to every circumstance I encounter, encountering, and will encounter. I pray that you’ll get wisdom from God as well in whatever state you are in right now.

050317

I guess you have noticed that I have already unfriended you on Facebook. Don’t worry on Instagram I’ll be hibernating as soon as I finish my #100ThankU project. I saw your girl you know. Someone told me. I was hurt because you did lie to me. You didn’t tell me that you wanted to leave because I was not enough for you. I guess I would not be asking for your apology soon because you are too proud of yourself. Oh you boys. Sorry but you’re still not a man at this stage. Want to know the real reason behind unfriending you? You remind me that I am worthless. You didn’t see my potential. You only saw that I am weak. My dear you have unleashed the bitch part of me. You belittled me. You didn’t respect me as a woman for crying out loud. You disrespected me like how you disrespect your sister behind her back. I have loved you before, but it’s time to un-love you because you are pushing me away as if I never existed in your life. I am infuriated with the feelings I have for you. Ugh how stupid of me. But no worries, you’ve made me unleashed my potential to be more matured and also wiser. Thank you though for making me see the real you. The part of you that you told me before. I have accepted it before, but now I can’t because you chose to leave and forget all the memories we had…that includes me. So I guess this is goodbye. I wish you well. If we bumped into each other, I hope you’re already worthy of my attention. (to be continued if there is still something to continue)