#god kelsey this!!!!! thank you for giving me matthew and letting me pick the other half

[barkovsasha]

don't threaten ME with a good time

' do you like it when i bleed for you? ' matthew tkachuk + whoever u want :P

Matthew can’t stop staring at Sam.

That should really have been the clue that something was going on but Matthew, for the life of him, can’t even think about why he’s staring or the fact that he should stop. He really should stop.

Matthew keeps staring.

He watches as Sam touches his fingers to his lips, watches as they come away red, blood dribbling down the length of his fingers and pooling darkly at the base. Matthew can barely focus as a little of it drips down onto his palm and he has the sudden urge to lick it clean.

He blinks, brow furrowing as he tries to get a hold of that thought and wonder why the fuck he’s thinking that. About Sam, no less. Sam, his friend, one of the closest he’s ever had. Someone he has never thought about like that before. Well, okay, not never. He’s only human. It’s totally normal to think about your closest friends the way he’s thought about Sam.

Well, is it? He’s always thought it was. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s thought about a friend in a non-friendly way. But with Sam, it’s always been there. Since they first met. Even more now that they’re on the same team again. But with the way Sam has been playing lately, he’s doing so well, he’s taking care of Matthew so much. He’s jumping into fights just for Matthew. The entire thing makes him feel like he’s floating, like if he isn’t grounded enough, he’ll just float up and up and up until he’s living in the clouds.

“Chucky?”

Matthew blinks, vision blurring at the edges when he realises Sam is staring at him. He realises with a start that he’s been staring directly at Sam the entire time.

“Hey, Benny.”

His gaze darts to where Sam’s lip is still bleeding and Matthew wants to bite it, dig his teeth into the split somebody put there with their knuckles. He doesn’t even remember which player it was on the other team, who grabbed him, if it was the same guy who hit Sam or somebody else. All he knows is how badly he wants to make it bleed more.

If Matthew were a smarter man, he wouldn’t stare at his best friend like this. So openly, plainly. In a way that nobody could misconstrue as innocent or platonic. He can practically feel the heat in his gaze, the flush in his cheeks. Matthew doesn’t think he’s ever wanted anything as much as he wants Sam in this moment.

When he drags his eyes back up to Sam’s, the look in his eyes is curious, searching. Like he knows what Matthew is thinking and he’s trying to figure it out for himself. Matthew isn’t sure if he wants Sam to work it out or not, but he knows Sam will. No matter what, Sam will get it out of him. He knows Matthew better than he knows himself most of the time.

And maybe it shouldn’t make sense, maybe Matthew should be scared that there was somebody who meant so much to him and they knew so much of Matthew. That they could take Matthew apart with just a few words, dig their fingers into all of his soft parts and rip him open until he was bleeding for them. Maybe he should be scared that that person is Sam.

But he isn’t. It makes sense, really, when he thinks about it. Sam has known him for so long, Sam has seen him through it all. Sam has stuck by him. Sam was part of the reason why Florida had looked so inviting, so close to what he had been searching for. Sure, he would have made his way to Florida even without Sam, but that didn’t happen because Sam was here. And now, Sam was fighting for him. Sam was bleeding for him.

Sam was talking to him and Matthew couldn’t fucking focus.

“Sorry, what?”

Sam laughs, shaking his head as he runs his tongue over his lower lip, Matthew’s eyes tracking the movement eagerly.

“Do you like it when I bleed for you?”

Matthew goes rigid, shoulders tense and drawing up. He’s on edge and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s not that he’s been caught out, it’s that Sam is the one to do it. And of course he is, hadn’t he just been thinking about how well Sam knows him? But God, it’s one thing to think it and another for Sam to make it so plainly obvious.

He swallows thickly around the lump in his throat as he shakes his head, trying to keep what little composure he might have left. He’s still staring at Sam’s mouth, utter refusal to even consider looking in his eyes and looking anywhere else feels like a cop out. It also feels like a cop out not to look him in the eyes, but Matthew is afraid of what he might see there.

Nothing could prepare him for seeing the smile that tugs at Sam’s mouth. He can’t look away from it. He’s always thought Sam had a beautiful mouth. It looks heavenly stained with blood.

Sam’s hand is suddenly in view, knuckles bruised and crusted over with blood. Matthew hadn’t even realised his knuckles had split from the fight. He moves without thinking, reaching out to wrap his fingers around his wrist, guiding his hand closer until all he can see is Sam’s hand in front of his face.

“Yes,” he whispers, “Yeah, I fucking like it.”

He thinks Sam sounds a little breathless, a little smug with how he was right. Of course he was right. It’s sickening how he’s always fucking right. Matthew is sort of insanely into it.

Before he can stop himself, Matthew is leaning closer to press his lips against Sam’s knuckles, pressing kisses across his skin. He can feel where the blood is still slightly tacky and he finds himself hoping that his own lips are stained with it. That when he pulls away, anyone who sees him will see that Sam is there, too. That Sam is a part of him.

When he does pull back, he finally allows himself to look into Sam’s eyes. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, where it feels like they might just be the only two people who even exist. Matthew licks at his lips, the familiar tang of blood on his tongue makes him feel slightly light headed. It’s not his blood for once, it’s Sam’s. Sam’s blood on his tongue. Sam’s blood in his mouth.

“You really fucking do like it, don’t you?”

Matthew doesn’t get to answer, Sam’s hand is grabbing at the back of his neck, tilting his head back before he crushes their mouths together. The last thing there is for Matthew to focus on is biting at Sam’s bottom lip, digging his teeth into the cut to draw more blood out.

[ichorhalf]

                  ❛                        &    when    you’re    left    alone    at    the    feet    of    the    gods    ,    you’ll    turn    &    see    the    trail    of    destruction    left    in    your    path    .    ❜

                                         if  you  can  tell  ,  i’m  not  making  nearly  as  much  as  an  effort  as  i  did  with  dana  but  nonetheless  ,  this  bastard  is  here  i  guess  idk  what  to  tell  u  but  i  DO  be  hatin  him  haha

〔 RUDY    PANKOW,   TWENTY    -    THREE,   CIS    MALE,   NONE 〕╰    JONAH    WESTCOTT    just    came    over    half - blood    hill .    you    know ,    the    child    of    DINOYSUS    who    was    claimed    seven    years    ago ?    i’ve    heard    chiron    say    that    he    is    INTUITIVE    &    VERSED ,    but    if    you    ask    the    aphrodite    kids ,    they’d    say    they’re    NEFARIOUS    &    EXECRABLE .    i’d    say    they    remind    me    of    raising    a    glass    of    tinted    liquid    toward    a    nemesis    before    the    battle    ,    unlawfully    taking    a    crown    that    doesn’t    belong    to    him    -    he    crowns    himself    a    victor    ,    a    kiss    traded    with    chaos    in    the    shadows    on    a    reddened    campfire    &    sacrifices    made    with    a    bloodied    smile    -    he    plays    war    just    for    the    crimson    ,    especially    since    they're    AGAINST    THE    NEW    CABINS   .

❛   𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗   𝖔𝖓𝖊   ╱  𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭  

𝑭𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑺

full  name  :  jonah  matthew  westcott

nickname(s) /  alias(es)  :  u  choose

age  /  dob  :  twenty  three  /  may  ,  seventeenth

hometown  :  juneau  ,  ak

current  location :  long  island  ,  ny  /  camp  half  blood

ethnicity :  caucasian

nationality  :  american

gender  :  cis  male

pronouns  :  he  /  him

orientation  :  graysexual  ,  grayromantic

religion :  polythestic

face  claim  :  rudy  pankow

language(s)  spoken  :  english  ,  ancient  greek  ,  some  latin  ,  some  norwegian

speech :  informal  ;  he  speaks  like  he’s  always  picking  a  fight  ,  like  there’s  so  much  malice  &  anger  behind  his  words  it’s  impossible  for  him  to  speak  correctly  .  slurred  words  are  a  constant  ,  half  spoken  &  half  coherent  they’ll  fling  from  his  lips  like  blades  before  he  even  has  a  chance  to  stop  them  .

hair  :  blonde  &  bright  ,  though  he  usually  has  them  hidden  underneath  a  baseball  cap  (  since  ,  he’s  got  one  in  every  color  -  thanks  ,  mr  .  d  )  to  hide  the  fact  that  he  can’t  manage  his  hair  .  always  messy  ,  always  looks  like  someone’s  just  held  his  hair  in  front  of  a  leaf  blower  -  it  doesn’t  matter  how  often  he  fixes  it  ,  it  goes  right  back  to  being  messy  .

eyes :  crystalline  blue  ,  backed  by  something  that  can  only  be  described  as  pure  wrath  .  joyless  &  often  angry  ,  the  only  glimpse  of  happiness  &  entertainment  stem  from  watching  him  watch  chaos  unfold  .

height  :  six  feet 

build  :  broad  &  athletic  ,  swimmer’s  body  .

tattoos  :  none  .

piercings :  none  .

scars  :  one  single  long  scar  that  runs  from  the  back  of  his  left  ear  down  the  side  of  his  neck  -  big  &  ugly  ,  it  wasn’t  received  in  battle  as  many  perceive  ,  but  in  an  accident  that  happened  just  feet  outside  of  camp  .  

clothing  style  :  messy  &  boyish  ,  beachy  as  if  he’s  adopted  the  persona  of  poseidon  .  always  seen  in  board  shorts  (  no  matter  the  season  )  &  some  form  of  colorful  button  up  ,  it’s  apparent  he  doesn’t  take  too  much  pride  his  appearance  -  since  ,  jonah  knows  he  can  get  away  with  a  lot  just  for  being  conventionally  attractive  .

usual  expression  :  written  in  wrath  ,  he’s  seen  too  much  &  lived  through  too  much  to  ever  close  his  eyes  &  dream  normally  .  he  hurts  more  than  he’ll  ever  let  on  ,  misses  too  many  people  that  have  died  protecting  him  &  it’s  evident  in  the  way  his  features  rest  when  he  thinks  nobody’s  looking  .  underneath  his  anger  &  his  unearned  confidence  rests  a  lot  of  pain  that  he’s  never  learned  to  resolve  .

distinguishing  characteristics  :  a  crooked  grin  -  signature  when  present  antagonizing  another  camper  ,  eyes  that  look  like  they  can  kill  (  which  ,  he’s  convinced  they  can  but  it’s  not  a  real  power  )

𝑹𝑼𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺

exterior   :  absolutely  ruthless  ,  it’s  been  quietly  established  around  camp  not  to  talk  to  jonah  unless  you’re  in  the  mood  for  a  fight  .  he’s  got  a  problem  with  everyone  ,  even  the  nicest  &  kindest  of  demigods  .  a  lost  son  of  maybe  ares  ,  he’s  always  on  the  search  for  a  fight  or  an  argument  ,  anything  where  he  can  yell  &  spit  on  his  opponents  in  a  constant  search  of  letting  go  of  pent  up  anger  .  a  loss  of  morals  ,  he’ll  actively  go  against  the  grain  just  to  cause  a  ruckus  ;  byproduct  of  abandonment  issues  &  daddy  issues  ,  he  looks  to  eris  &  strife  as  leading  points  in  his  life  .

interior   :  so  angry  he  can’t  put  it  into  words  -  he  doesn’t  even  dream  like  normal  demigods  do  ,  but  he  doesn’t  dream  as  mortals  do  either  .  constantly  stuck  in  this  anger  he’s  never  learned  to  get  rid  of  ,  he’s  always  learned  to  act  out  &  lash  out  onto  others  before  ever  turning  inward  . 

𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪𝑳𝑬

this  is  not  gna  be  pretty  i  spent  too  many  brain  cells  on  my  app  .

trigger  warnings  :  a  lot  of  death  ,  blood  ,  SOME  not  cool  descriptions  of  death

he’s  born  on  a  warm  day  in  juneau  ,  his  mother’s  the  bringer  of  spring  with  a  halo  of  golden  hair  that’s  wrapped  around  her  head  .  she  loves  him  ,  tells  the  bloodied  baby  in  her  arms  that  his  father  loves  him  too  -  but  jonah  never  gets  to  know  .  robbed  of  memory  ,  he  doesn’t  remember  being  grabbed  from  limp  arms  as  his  mother  meets  thanatos  -  the  first  of  many  deaths  that  he’ll  cause  .  cursed  by  a  god  that’s  supposed  to  love  him  ,  he’s  left  with  an  uncle  who  sees  a  dead  sister  in  him  ,  but  his  aunt  tries  to  love  him  anyway  .  she  wants  kids  ,  her  husband  never  wanted  any  -  jonah’s  a  blessing  in  disguise  .

&  oh  ,  is  he  loved  .  aunt  marjorie  picks  him  up  from  practice  &  wraps  his  sore  ankles  ,  gives  him  snacks  on  the  way  to  school  &  convinces  uncle  jeff  to  take  him  fishing  .  life  is  good  ,  even  if  his  guardians  always  share  a  hesitant  look  when  he  talks  about  the  griffins  flying  overhead  or  the  cyclops  who  ran  past  the  school  .  they  know  that  his  mother  attracted  a  god  ,  the  life  of  the  party  ,  of  course  only  she  could  attract  godhood  .  they  wrap  him  in  their  arms  every  night  &  recite  prayers  to  gods  he  can’t  pronounce  ,  kiss  him  goodnight  before  they  retreat  to  their  room  .  he  can  hear  them  boarding  up  the  house  every  night  before  he  goes  to  bed  .

ten  years  old  on  a  fishing  trip  when  uncle  jeff  falls  overboard  .  nobody  believes  jonah  when  he  says  he  was  pulled  over  by  a  creature  with  impossibly  long  teeth  ,  or  that  jonah  closed  his  eyes  &  heard  his  uncle  pop  before  disappearing   -  a  misuse  of  power  ,  aunt  marjorie  explains  that  accidents  happen  .  but  ,  she  doesn’t  try  to  anger  him  much  after  that  ;  she  doesn’t  have  to  worry  ,  she  looks  the  wrong  way  at  a  monster  on  the  way  to  the  airport  &  jonah  watches  as  she’s  flung  so  far  into  the  woods  he  can’t  see  her  disappear  .  he  emerges  from  the  wilderness  with  so  bloodied  &  dirtied  they  think  he’s  responsible  ,  but  it’s  not  human  blood  that’s  found  on  him  .  they  don’t  know  what  it  is  .

the  mainland  awaits  him  ,  several  years  jumping  from  family  member  to  family  member  before  finally  -  a  cousin  in  new  york  when  he’s  fifteen  .  noah’s  cool  ,  he’s  in  his  twenties  &  cleared  out  an  entire  room  to  take  care  of  him  &  jonah  finally  remembers  what  it’s  like  to  be  home  &  happy  .  the  eve  of  his  sixteenth  birthday  ,  he  discovers  a  series  of  letters  from  family  members  over  the  years  -   they’re  all  dead  .  uncle  jeff  ,  aunt  marjorie  ,  aunt  kelsey  in  oregon  ,  aunt  janice  in  wisconsin  .  his  story  unfolds  before  him  ,  he’s  dangerous  ,  the  son  of  a  god  -  &  suddenly  ,  he  knows  the  name  of  the  gods  marjorie  &  jeff  used  to  say  .

he  begs  noah  to  take  him  to  camp  half  blood  ,  tells  him  he  doesn’t  want  noah  to  die  either  .  his  cousin  is  cool  ,  laughs  &  reassures  him  that  the  westcott  lineage  is  strong  ,  that  they  can’t  be  wiped  out  that  easily  -  but  after  pressuring  &  pestering  ,  he  finally  agrees  to  bring  jonah  to  camp  .  minutes  down  the  road  ,  noah’s  car  hits  a  patch  of  black  ice  &  jonah  doesn’t  remember  anything  but  waking  up  with  a  healing  scar  &  notice  of  his  cousin’s  death  .

dionysus  claims  him  the  instant  they  meet  ,  admits  his  paternity  expecting  gratefulness  but  jonah  only  moves  into  his  cabin  by  throwing  his  things  .  over  the  next  few  years  he  grows  into  ...  a  gremlin  of  a  camper  .  deadly  behind  a  short  sword  ,  deadlier  behind  his  words  .  fights  with  camp  during  the  war  (  barely  ,  almost  spent  the  whole  thing  at  camp  instead  )  &  when  lyssa  admits  secession  from  camp  ,  almost  joins  her  -  but  chooses  to  stay  around  to  cause  as  much  havoc  as  he  can  before  leaving  .