#goddamn that video was fucking trippy

[gargoylepuke999]

st4 spoilers

tumblr dont fuck up the quality

[omegalomania]

no ok like. i know this is The YBC Blog and all but i really truly need to go off about how GENUINELY fucking fascinating the whole "young volcanoes" video is on a metatextual level. like the entirety of the youngblood chronicles says a WHOLE hell of a lot about the band in terms of the metaphors it's painting wrt the hiatus and reformation and the fact that they took this particular song (sonically incredibly airy and cheerful, lyrically desolate) and turned it into the dinner party from hell. this is a story where an external force chops up the lead singer and hollows him out and then serves his organs to the rest of the band. theyre made to consume him, literally, against their will!!! and thats not all!! they are vividly hallucinating at this point, because theyve been heavily drugged - again, against their will! - and they see this whole thing as a joyous affair. in their blitzed out brains, this is them reuniting after the harrowing experience of being kidnapped off the goddamn streets! and then they have this fucked up trippy GROUP HALLUCINATION where they are literally EATING PATRICKS ORGANS. and in the real world, none of them can see this happening - except patrick. patrick is not blindfolded. patrick can see them being forcefed his own viscera and he's too fucking high off his ass to do anything about it. in fact, in reality, he barely acknowledges his bandmates at all.

like just thinking about this from a metaphorical perspective. its fucking fascinating innit. the band literally cannibalizes patrick against their will, and he cannibalizes himself against his will, and they are all made to believe this is something that they want to have happen. they are misled and drugged into this. they eat him alive. they eat him ALIVE. and they are made to think they're having a great time doing it.

the band consumes itself for the seeming entertainment of the onlooking vixens. and they don't explore this through the avenue of pete, who the rest of the band regularly cites as the creative impetus behind the band, but through patrick, the voice. the mouthpiece. the one who sings the words. this is the third fucking video they released when the band came back from hiatus. and its this. it is the band being forced to consume the lead singer and primary composer from the inside, and him participating in this forced consumption.

it makes me grip my head and scream. we witness this horrifying incident so early and things only get worse and worse from there. for all that patrick kills joe and pete later in the narrative, they have patrick's blood on their lips first, staining their mouths, slicking their insides. and, like the case with patrick, who has been warped into something violent, they don't do this willingly; it is done to them. we see what true and genuine hatred of music and creativity has motivated the vixens to do. and in contrast we see, by the story's end, the thesis statement that the defenders of the faith love each other beyond any earthly horror that can be inflicted upon them. how unbelievably unfathomably fucking captivating for this to be present at the very start, this warped perversion of that kind of love. what else is friendship and brotherhood but this. what else is love at its most destructive and possessive than this. we are friends, we are brothers in arms, we are companions until the bitterest of all bitter ends. we have wrought immeasurable horrors upon each other. we have consumed each other. we have eaten each other alive. we all have each other's blood on our hands and in our mouths. if save rock and roll is the brightest and most elevated declaration of love imaginable, then young volcanoes is the darkest and most twisted. we don't want to be here. we're having the time of our lives. we're trapped. we're screaming. we missed you. we are better together. we are destroying each other. we love you. we love you to the most twisted and horrific and absolute endpoint imaginable. we love you. they won't let us stop loving you. we love you. they won't let us stop. we love you.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

BUTCHER BABIES' HEIDI SHEPHERD Defends Return To 'Nipple Tape' For 'Freak On A Leash' Music Video

Los Angeles-based rock band GINA AND THE EASTERN BLOCK has teamed up with the "provocative rock 'n' roll dance troupe" Little Miss Nasty and BUTCHER BABIES co-vocalist Heidi Shepherd to record a cover of the KORN classic "Freak On A Leash". The NSFW music video for the track, directed by GINA AND THE EASTERN BLOCK vocalist Gina Katon and Jonathan Covert, can be seen below.

Shepherd has since taken to her Instagram to explain her decision to return to the "nipple tape" look for the clip, having previously performed topless with tape over her nipples in the BUTCHER BABIES' early days.

Heidi wrote: "Let's talk.. Over the past 14 years of my career, Ive grown into a woman in front of the whole world. Over those 14 years, Ive also seen the industry change. In metal, we've been told that its 'not metal' to embrace your feminine qualities but, Ive also seen the same women called ugly & gross when we dont. We've seen 'them' say that we women should tone down the bold but, then say that we need to be extra bold to play w the boys. THEY tell us (we all are) to be unique, then immediately pin us against & compare us to each other. We've seen them say that, 'people dont want to see women scream, we should sing & be pretty', then say that 'we're all clones' after THEY are the ones that shoved us in that corner to begin w.

"Ive felt the whiplash over the past decade of 'do this'.. Actually, 'do that'. And I have to be honest, I lost myself in all of that. Ive always been a girl to push boundaries and give [the middle finger] to the box that people have tried to put me in. As time has gone on, I feel like I steered away from the things that made me unique. Ive realized, that subsequently ended up in some pretty, little box with a bow that would make others feel comfortable.

"When approached to dive back into [nipple] tape for this music video, I admit, I was apprehensive cause 'OMG what would THEY think?' Then @henryflury reminded me of how hard Ive worked. He reminded me that I came into this industry as a BAMF & I still am. He reminded me that I'm here to FUCKSHITUP! He reminded me that the female body is a goddamn piece of art & I should feel comfortable in the body that Ive worked so hard for. From surviving gastroschisis, to overcoming a debilitating eating disorder, to breaking my back, to NOW crushing the gym; I should feel grateful & proud of the body I have. We all should! I deserve to embrace my feminine qualities in any form I want, whether its nipple tape or turtlenecks. Cause we all have those moments of feeling like a badass, sexy woman, then also where we wanna rock our sweats and a baggy-ass tshirt. We should be empowered by both!

"So thank you @ginaandtheeasternblock for the reminder & the opportunity to rewind & reflect! So stoked about the video. THIS BITCH IS BACK! -SMD"

Regarding the music video, Katon commented: "Our version of 'Freak On A Leash' has so many of my favorite musical elements in it — it's dark, trippy, beautiful, weird, massive, and of course, nasty. When Marc (the producer) first played me the track, my mind was immediately flooded with ideas for the video. So the video is honestly the perfect reflection of the music. And it was such an honor to be able to work with Heidi on the song and the video. She's a true pro, an all-around great human being, and immensely talented. Heidi embodies the fierce darkness, power, and beautiful eroticism of this track perfectly. We also brought in some of the badass women from Little Miss Nasty to sing additional vocals on the song and to be the unbelievably gorgeous and powerful co-stars of this truly timeless video."

Shepherd stated about the clip: "Diving back to my roots with Gina and the talented ladies of Little Miss Nasty was the perfect reminder that we women are fierce as fuck and should be celebrated for how unique and beautiful we ALL are! Embracing our feminine qualities while attacking a classically sexy song felt like the perfect mix of confidence and empowerment that I needed to be reminded of. I'm honored to be a part of Gina's vision that touches on all senses."

Four years ago, Heidi said that she has no regrets about the period in BUTCHER BABIES' history when she and co-vocalist Carla Harvey used to perform topless with tape over their nipples, explaining that it was meant as an ode to PLASMATICS frontwoman Wendy O. Williams, who had a song called "Butcher Baby".

While Shepherd and Harvey's look earned them plenty of attention, they were labeled a gimmick by some metal fans, with purists accusing the women of oversexualizing themselves in order to gain popularity.

Asked in an interview with the "Talk Toomey" podcast if she looked back on the nipple-tape look as a good idea or a bad idea, Heidi responded: "I think it was a good idea. It was something that people were, like, 'What?' We did in our band previous to BUTCHER BABIES too, so it wasn't something new to us."

She continued: "It's an interesting question, because I think that, in a lot of ways, it definitely hurt how we've grown, but I also think that it was a message that we stood for. The people who didn't get it and it got lost in translation, well, now they know. But in Europe, it seems like more people understood, which kind of makes sense. But it seems like in the U.S., I'm, like, did people forget about [Wendy]? [Laughs] Does the metal community not understand this? But I don't think that it was a bad idea. I think it was something that I did and I'm proud of. I don't really hold any regrets. I think that in life in general, these situations build to the bigger picture, and I think that having had that past and where we are now, it's kind of a cool evolution of the band too. It's unique. We went from being these young girls, bouncing around in nipple tape, screaming hateful things into microphones, to women, almost a decade later, grown up in the industry, helped with this women's movement, if you will. And I think that that sort of thing helped me become the woman I am today."

Heidi said that the changes in BUTCHER BABIES' visual appearance in recent years happened naturally as the band toured around the world playing to thousands of impressionable fans.

"It's really interesting, because when we realized that young girls were looking up to us and we had a responsibility of being a positive role model, it really changed my life for the better too; I started living my life more positively," she said. "And I think you can see that in the evolution of our look; you can hear it in the evolution of our music. So, in that sense, I'm fucking proud of it."

Heidi also reiterated that BUTCHER BABIES' early image wasn't meant as a clever marketing ploy designed to ensure maximum exposure. "That was not ever anything that ever went through my mind: 'Oh, this will help us get attention.' Because I was in a band for a year prior to that, that I did that," she explained. "I didn't think that it would ever end up here. I didn't think that it would ever amount to anything. I just thought we were gonna have some fun playing some original music with our friends along the Sunset Strip, 'cause that's what we did before. The only difference was, before, it was five girls and [we were playing] covers. And that's the reason we created BUTCHER BABIES — to do original stuff."

Heidi's comments echoed those made by Carla, who told Metal Underground in a 2016 interview that the band's nipple-tape look "was completely blown out of proportion. When we first started this band, we didn't do it to go out there and strut around on stage like Playboy models; we did it as kind of a 'fuck you' to the cookie-cutter music industry," she explained. "We were paying tribute to a woman in metal that we respected, Wendy O. Williams. And that was it. And the show has never been sexual — ever."

[death2normalcy]

Next up on the list is ‘SKZ2021′, which is another compilation album. It look like it contains the OT8 versions of the rest of the songs that didn’t go on the last one, as well as the Mixtape songs with their official names, and the Korean version of their Japanese single, ‘Scars’. 14 songs in total, but I already talked about Hoodie Season,so it won’t be on here. Let’s see how long this one gets.

Okay, once again, I have to break it up into 2 parts. Not only is this already long enough, but I’m going to include the few songs that they didn’t redo in the 2nd part. This one includes - the first 3 Mixtape songs (Placebo, Behind the Light, For You); Scars, N/S, 0325, Awaken, Rock, 3rd Eye.

Personal Favorites (or songs that I could listen to over and over again on my playlist)

Scars - I was debating, but then Changbin does this line (and I’m not sure how 100% accurate the translation is since lyrics videos on youtube aren’t always 100%), but it goes like ‘All these wounds, scars, these are my tattoos’ and my guy?? That line resonated with me on a very deep level. And then his rap is immediately followed by Hyunjin, a personal favorite of mine? Overall, one of their actual best songs. It’s emotional, so normally, I’d want to put it lower, but just can’t. I love it.

Awaken - This is so different from their usual stuff, wow. I don’t think I would want a whole album like this, but I’m glad a song like this exists. It’s such an interesting idea, definitely probably one of their most ‘rock-heavy’ songs. Changbin rapping in a song like this is so good, honestly. Another standout would be Lee Know. Honestly, they all do fantastic.

Rock - This is one of their best songs, what the actual fuck. I’ve never seen it recommended, but goddamn. This is so good. And it’s one of their earlier songs?? Fuck. The very beginning almost threw me off, I was like, eh, maybe not. But then the song officially starts and I was blown away.

0325 - I was already feeling this song from the beginning, but then Hyunjin’s line (again, not 100% how accurate the translation is) ‘From a lump of soil with nothing, a beautiful flower bloomed’, um, that’s beautiful. They honestly all shine in this song, it’s fantastic. It’s another song about them, specifically, and I love it. I love all the talk about being together until the end and how they are no more lonely times. Also, that it’s obviously a song for Stay too, these boys love their songs to the fans.

For You (Mixtape #3) - Another Hyunjin line, ‘Flowers too have the process, not the moment in bloom, that’s more beautiful’. So good. Also, hey, Han’s verse made me cry. And Lee Know’s line ‘To make flowers bloom, they have to go through winter’...HELLO. There are references to this being written when they were pretty young (of course, it’s a mixtape song), so normally, that would put this song lower. But, its such a beautiful song, I couldn’t. OH And Bang Chan’s ‘Blessings wait for you’ lines? Stunning.

Songs that aren’t quite at the top for me, but are still amazing!

3rd Eye - This song is trippy as hell. It’s definitely one of their more experimental songs, but it’s still an enjoyable listen. Not sure if I love it as much as their other more experimental stuff, but it’s still a really great song. I actually think this song could probably move up into my favorites over time, it feels like a song that has to grow on me.

Placebo (Mixtape #1) - I really enjoyed the beat with this one. I also really liked the part with Felix’s rap that goes into Lee Know singing and then into Changbin’s rap. Something about them all having very distinct voices and styles makes it stand out. Also, Jeongin stood out in this one for me. I don’t have a ton to say about it, it’s great.

Songs that probably won’t get a lot of play on my playlist, but are still fantastic because these boys are very talented!

Behind the Light (Mixtape #2) - Beautiful song, stunning, honestly. But I just know that I won’t be listening to this one often. I love the line that mentions how even darkness can exist when there’s light, that was beautiful. I love that this is kind of like a song about them. Someone in the comments of the video I was watching said they could see this song being sung when they disband, which...no one needs that visual, thanks. But they’re right.

N/S - I wanted to like this song a lot more, but I just don’t. I appreciate what they’re doing, I get it. It’s more of a joke song and it’s kind of experimental, so it’s always going to be a divisive song. And there are parts I do like, for instance, Felix and Changbin’s back and forth. That was cool. It’s just not my cup of tea. They still sound amazing, and I hope they keep experimenting with weird stuff like this.

[blacknovelist]

Anyway after spending the whole day aggressively playing Psychonauts from start to end I can definitely say that I think this game has aged ridiculously well after +10 years since it's release and I'm super damn excited for Psychonauts 2

[ghosty-schnibibit]

multiple days early taz grad liveblog! ^u^

ngl this took me completely by surprise and i didn't end up listening to it until around ten o'clock, it’s a bit before one in the morning as i’m posting this lol. managed to avoid any spoilers tho!

how's everybody doing in quarantine? i've mainly been playing minecraft and doing relistens of various podcasts, and just generally staying home :P

anyways, on to the episode!

i was not expecting that intro holy shit, this is so meta

as much as i loved the sillier intro i missed the pretty music the last couple episodes, i’m glad trav’s found a way for us to have both 

"the offending skeletons" pfff

oh man this sounds so pretty, wow

griffin w h y

well that's terrifying

"your creepy panopticon continues to function" gary serves the eye

yeah who fucking died to make their room available 

awww, is fitzroy scared of ghosts?

does firbolg have ghost hunting abilities???

... that's probably just from the spectral cats tho right

"they're steps of the mind" travis what does that even mean

:o!!! fitzroy the cussing boy

um??? fitzroy wtf are you talking about

yay! crepes for my boy! :D

better than i could do lmao

oh great, more creepy buckminster time :|

... dang, that's an interesting choice. i'm trying to think in-character of what would lead fitz to not telling them, and i've come to four main possibilities: a) fitzroy doesn't trust anyone at the school, even his friends, b) fitzroy hasn't found a way to tell them w/o being in the presence of a gary, c) fitzroy is worried that if he tells anyone they might get disappeared like leon, or d) a combination of all of the above.

kumquat? oh it's those little orangey guys, okay, continuing argo's citrus fixation then lol

"my new hero" can't wait to see all the maplekeene fic that comes out of that line lmao

well fuck that's sad :(

aww firbolg my sweet baby

ilu firbolg :')

OH FUCK, did leon send the broach as a message?

i have never gone from laughing to worried so fast holy shit

... so he's not just mind-wiped, he's being actively controlled

good idea fitz, this is very smart

another moment reminding me of how much i love the firbolg's character and how the other boys interact with him 

yay! my favorite girl is back :D

my sweet boys, these are such bad puns, absolute morons the lot of you

argo my dipshit son ilu

she is a necromancer lol

oh fun! dad lich!

... i need art of rainer as a blupjeans baby stat

"he's not not dead!" i love this description

i cannot tell if that's a euphemism or if he's insinuating rainer is some kind of frankenstein

oh dang :O

fiztroy you absolute ding dong ilu

oh fun, new npc :D

go firbolg, nice

so leon actually managed to get through to the guild before higglemas did whatever he did to him, and hieronymus and higglemas appear to be on the same page vis-a-vis wanting to keep the guild out of the school... fuck

althea, good to know, i'm so bad at spelling, i was hearing it as alfia

yay! i missed the money zone :D

aww, thank you trav

wait is that the end? does taz just not have ad reads anymore???

hey what the fuck, i am worried for my boys trav you can't just drop that on me apropos of nothing

how trippy for the rest of the staff do you think it was that all of a sudden jackyl's creepy voice suddenly turned into a lilting brogue

argo my sweet boy

IT'S AN ANTI GARY ZONE

... is he going to- yep, he's telling him about the hot mint

argo my sweet boy you are a valued member of the group

"hot mint is nothing new" oh my darling

ilu jackyl

what do you mean not from a person? do they think fitzroy is somehow linked to the demons in the forest?

thank you for that trav i am bad at remembering scenery details

i get what jackyl's saying here but like... there are ways for argo to ask fitz about his magic without being suspicious. they're pretty okay friends at this point, i don't think it's too much of a stretch to bring up magic in conversation like “hey, i have magic from my parents, do you think your magic could have come from yours?”

argo that's kind of a hollow threat, i don't think you can leave, they'd probably kill you :/

ilu argo my sweet boy

yikes, goddamn, the bad roles are back for argo

what was the end of that line clint

NICE, good rolls are back :)

clint you absolute dipshit

it's not boring! i'm very proud of clint getting so many good rolls in a row!

i love this so much lol

ooooh, this is some pretty music

fitz is on supplemental levels of paranoia

i can get that rationale, he can't solve anything if he can't trust his own perceptions

so he's taking a crack at artificing, fun times

this is an extremely good interaction, i am loving this

what does your little high pitched HMMM mean fitzroy? what are you doing my dipshit son???

oh fun, drawf then i'm guessing

green and gold were my university colors trav don't do this to me

fitzroy sounds like me every time i fall down the rabbit hole of metalworking videos on youtube and think “i wanna make a sword!”

... huh. i have to go back and listen to ep. 7, but is crabtree part of the unbroken chain? i'd be more inclined to trust her if so, i don't know if fitz would be safe crafting a mind protecting charm with her if there's even the slightest possibility that she's in on whatever higglemas is doing

fitzroy my dipshit son, you are an absolute dummy, you are the worst

griffin you planned an entire campaign around magical items

i don't like the sound of that "oh!"

oh this has gone just about as bad as it could have gone

that is absolutely not going to happen

nice thinking griffin, holy cow

not a fan of the foreshadowing implications of that

precision is certainly something fitzroy doesn't have

yes thank you for not doing that griffin

this is probably a bad idea and i am worried for firbolg

"let the wiki show, your honor" i want to check the wiki now to see if anyone’s added that lol

jesus that's a creepy feeling

griffin you have no right to make me cry like this

justin you've murdered me

welp, this is extremely bad :|

what are you doing fitzroy, what is the end game here fitzroy

okay, okay that's a good idea but this music is very terrifying

maybe also talk about what's going on with buckminster please, i am so worried about leon

i am at odds with myself because i adore the friendship development that's going on here, but i'm also so worried for literally all of them and poor argo is being left out

oh nice, very excited to see how that goes next ep

thank you for lifting the mood some griffin lol

clint you've killed me

oh i am so looking forward to this conversation

so a lot went down this episode, huh? compared to how lighthearted and silly the last two episodes were we got a ton of plot development, and in retrospect i’m glad we had an emotional buffer before things got too hairy. i am very worried for my boys, i personally think travis is nailing the build-up of suspense and mistrust between characters while keeping the danger factor mysterious enough that there’s no obvious solution as to who’s right not to trust who. i can’t wait to head into the tag and see the kinds of theories people are coming up with because dang if i don’t have some thoughts.

see you guys whenever the next ep comes out i guess!

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Okay, I’m watching Jack’s This Person Does Not Exist Video and Jesus Christ trippy as fuck.

It’s like some Anti/Googleiplier shite.

Also, Robin’s editing is perfection. Goddamn flawless, even

[spacedimentio]

Save the Light Impressions

I recently became interested in what Hessonite’s deal was and since it’ll be a long time before I’ll be able to get the game, I decided to just watch a cutscene compilation (this one, if it matters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jy5tOb3gzLY). Dunno why I’m taking down all my reactions, just cause it’s fun I guess. Enjoy

RIP Car Wash

What even is the prism? It's not a gem, right? But it's clearly got conscious thought, even Hessonite talks to it like a person

haha Greg called her a glittery space lady, accurate

it's a little OOC that Greg wanted to come along. at least he's having fun tho. aww, steven's so proud of him :D

actually, what's Hessonite even doing. Why didn't she fuck off back to space once she found the prism

yeah that's totally not a triforce with six arms or anything. it's not the diamond authority symbol either i don't think, the triangles in that all meet in the middle

Mayor of Bummertown

I would have named the boss Dave, zero hesitation

"Our prism is in another castle!" i love you steb

oh no, bad memory time at Bismuth's forge :( I hope she'll be playable in the next one (i would scream forever if there was a playable diamond)

did Steven really just answer the phone with Myello? Oh IT'S PERI. Aaaand we're learning about RPG mechanics. Meta.

frozen donuts are a thing?! :o

it's her. the square. she seems to be almost identical to how our peridot used to be, so i wonder what the difference in personality is. Aside from her favorite insult being pebble instead of clod

ah yes, ye old tennis match

man i love that you can form fusions in this game

oh lord, i don't wanna imagine what chaos would happen with two peridots. also Greg is taking ice damage during the cutscene, help him

oh no, they're meeting. of course the first thing Squaridot says is "WHY ARE YOU NAKED" (and they obvs flipped her sprite cause the gem's her other eye now)

hey look, new insults for my list of gem related curse words

weird, angry mirror indeed. imagine what they could do if they were friends!

oh RIP. why do you get to choose who murders Squaridot. I hope for more multi-peridot action in the future

wait, what machine did you rip that off of and when

i already knew Peri was playable but it's still cool. i love how she flutters her feet when she jumps! i wonder who the DLC character is going to be (lapis, probably. Bismuth would be metal, though)

"Clod-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" oh my god i love you

"Whatchu talkin' bout Peri" the best, they're the best

Oh so wow, Hessonite is THE Hessonite, huh. Real famous. If she came out as a Crystal Gem, it would sure cause a stir

Yeah I was also wondering why she's sticking around instead of just leaving? and she is kind of leaving her troops scattered all over the place with no rhyme or reason

these are great names. The Great and Terrible Spikey McSpikeball! of course the guy playing picked the most boring one

i love how Peridot just fucking yeets her tablet to attack

sugilite tiny!

you know, i was gonna get this game anyway at some point, but it's nice to know that it's the kind of rpg i like, one where you can participate in the attacking and blocking process.

how dare you switch out peridot for pearl. you know what, next game i hope you can be everyone all the time cause there's too many good characters to pick from

whatchu doing up here pizza lady

yeah they just...all ran right in front of her directly in her line of vision and she didn't see them somehow

oh the prism is resisting. it really took Steven's words to heart last game

Hess my dear, is this prism your only friend (oh my god that's totally it isn't it)

is the wiki sure she can't teleport cause holy fuck is she fast

"Gugh, Peridot, this is just like when we tried to hunt you down. But worse...cause, y'know, she's actually threatening." rude

huh. i don't remember the pyramid temple blowing up and leaving debris, i thought the whole thing disintegrated cause it was a construct of the gem it was housing. looking at screenshots of Serious Steven it definitely did explode

are they really trying to tell me there was a pyramid under the pyramid and no one noticed

call it the Spooky Basement! call it the Spooky Basement! you disappoint me, player, although Secret Temple of Secrets isn't so bad

*steven rolls cheerfully through a skeleton and then everyone jumps down a big hole* um

yo there's a mural of Rose fighting some light warriors! that's rad as shit!

*gets to the hallway with the torches that turn on as you go by* gee i sure wish i could watch this with sound, but alas i am recovering from ear fatigue and it would be a bad idea.

oh my god he reset her preferences no wonder she's pissed XD

HOLY FUCKING CHRIST RIP AMETHYST AND PERIDOT GODDAMN AND GARNET TOO PIZZA LADY STRONK

wow she really is a genuine threat, she forced Rose and Pearl to give ground back in the day

oh no you did not just say that Pearl should come with you. fuck her up, P!

also i just realized that she is really tall. like 10 feet tall at least

aw no fair you can't just flashbang them all you dink

oh it's sapphire. wait has connie even met ruby and sapphire in the show? did we not get to see it?!

where the fuck even are you guys, i could swear that connie and greg fell off the platform into the abyss

wait, they don't have new forms, did they even regenerate? i don't think connie was out cold for that long. did they even poof? i saw colored clouds of dust but no gemstones. i mean, i know this is a game and all but it's also canon so ???

and peridot is breaking the fourth wall by commenting how you can't force her to sit at home at the moment

ancient thingamajig. wow is thingamajig a real word, my spellcheck is not yelling at me about it

yeah connie! kick her ass for me!

since when are gems into riddles. i wonder if anyone has made much headway into translating the written gem language yet, last i heard they hadn't made much progress. apparently only Steven Sugar knows what all the symbols mean

wait steven was watching connie and greg's parties running around that whole time? i guess even the game never leaves steven's POV. where even is he, in the prism realm? oh, the place was turning pink for a minute until he went towards the sparkly thing

steven is always accessing memories isn't he. at least these aren't his mom's this time

you might be getting sick of her steve but i'm sure not!

from far away it really looks like she's chillin' with a martini glass and i was about to scream

corruption beam :(

was he just like passed out on the floor somewhere hallucinating

aww, he picks up the light steven exp by hugging it :o

"Just feeling a little...light headed." i...puns?

the Light Warrior is the final boss of the first game right? ...i should have probably watched a video about that one first

oh i just had a thought! if they make a third one then we get to have Rainbow 2.0 and Sunstone and Obsidian in it! :D

woah, trippy. tbh steven's connection to the prism is kind of strange. i wanna know exactly where that thing came from and why it's so deeply connected to him now. did Hessonite have visions like this when it was hers?

yeah that's... if a place is connected by warp pad, wouldn't it be easy to find by just warping randomly? unless separate warp networks are a thing but still, you'd just have to sneak onto a CG warp pad and go. ....how do warps even work, they can go through roofs and stuff and there's like this whole other dimension with all the warps like stars in the background and ???

how does the forge even do an upgrade with no Bismuth. maybe i should stop trying to fit this into canon details

what makes you think Hessonite could see you? is this some Voldemort Harry Potter connection shit. is that actually how she found the forge, this game ain't explain much

oh that's...that's a big oof. bismuth was working on a huge-ass statue of Rose before they got into their argument

"i saw her again" what no you didn't, that was just a white screen with a text box

"Beats me how any of this whacky prism stuff works!" ...i feel called out

why does that bigger spaceship look like a funky piece of headwear to me

well, at least it's closer than the moon

oh what, Lion didn't come with you? didn't you need multiple roar warps to get to space last time, just above the earth still seems kind of far, also how did he know the coordinates of the ship, he could have easily sent them all into the void

?! and then he's there?!? already asleep? how???????

aww what you're going to tease me with a citrine guard but not let me see her?

freaky. strangely organic looking technology is nothing new but i don't think i've seen stuff oozing through it before

"Look at you, acting as though you have the moral high ground!" *shakes fist angrily* She's like Emerald, but better! I can't

i guess he did kind of steal it, but it was more like finders keepers really

whuh has the prism always been able to talk?

"a Prism" oh no are there more? probably

woah that's a big boy. What the heck does Spectral Conclusion mean. and the prism is inside it instead of it being a separate creation, interesting

aww, it's looking at itself in confusion. Steven reaches out to it with his words, as he does

the prism isn't really...doing a lot of attacking (cause the player is picking the right choices probably). oh nevermind, it has a hugely damaging rainbow cannon

/r/murderedbywords, except in a good way

"Destroy Steven!" huh since when does she know his name? she could have gotten it from several places, really

oh oh oh! it's pizza time! standing in the middle of them is probably not the best idea, but look at her, she's exuding confidence!

wait wait wait, when the player used a healing move, did i just see an option to heal the prism? or at least, it's health bar showed up. is it gonna help later?

can i have like, a full sprite sheet for Hessonite please and thanks

if this was in the show, steven would be dead from that hit

aaand Steven did two points of damage with his shield bash, she ain't even flinch

pearl what are you doing

wow, she also only did a few points of damage

is Hess like, super tough. i love how much of a threat she is, cause most Homeworld gems we've seen aren't all that scary

oh! oh! you can heal the prism! that's probably how you damage her cause you'd be here forever chipping away otherwise

HOLY FUCK, SHE JUST DID 270 POINTS OF DAMAGE, THAT'S LITERALLY ALL OF SUGILITE'S HEALTH. I know the wiki says that attack does massive damage but jeezus!

so far the prism hasn't done anything, they're just chipping away at her slowly

oh, so gems do poof in this game. i guess we're just ignoring new forms because it wouldn't make sense in the timeline if we didn't

huh, does pearl inflict burns in this game? oh and she shoots fireballs, guess that answers my question.

it's kind of sad that the status is doing more damage than everyone else combined

whuh, she just attacked the prism! RUDE.

stop beating up the prism you degenerate! i guess i shouldn't be shocked

hey, Garnet and Amethyst are alive again. ah finally, some damage now that Garnet's lowered her defense

A-Amethyst, you're facing the wrong way. i wish Hess had targeted her with her big attack, then i could have made an "oh no she has airpods in" joke

oh, but the player formed Smoky, so she's not even aiming at anyone in particular anymore lol. she went for Pearl tho, fuckin' eviscerated

is this battle normally this long, it's been almost 10 minutes

this battle would probably be much harder if she didn't waste her turn being a bitch and attacking the prism. gee, and you wonder why it doesn't want to listen to you after encountering steven's kindness. i wonder...what would happen if you let the prism's HP get to zero? it would take a long ass time but...now i really wanna know but i doubt there’s any videos about it!

garnet's rocket fist did damage to the prism cause Hess is standing next to it. c-can you attack the prism, is that how you get the bad ending??

man, they haven't even had to heal because she's just beaten up on that poor thing for the past 10 turns. i mean, really, she could easily murder all of them in a heartbeat if she wanted

ok finally, she is defeato. I'd feel more sad for you if you didn't abuse your subordinates (definitely has detracted from my liking of her, i won't be too hard on her for it though because Homeworld is bad like that and she doesn't know better). at least you’re good at eating your humble pie without complaint

oh, i guess you get to choose your ending? it's kind of weird that it's not like, influenced by your game choices. cause technically like this it's your choice, not the prism's choice. so what was with the prism having health then. was it just to show how awful Hessonite is to it?

also, i can't look at light Steven without thinking of Pink!Steven and hhhhh

"You're a wise creature, aren't you?" Yes, yes he is *nods sagely* I hope you come back someday to learn more from him

You're pretty adaptive, huh Hess? of course, if you've been having these thoughts and feelings for thousands of years you're probably not too shaken up by the realization that they're true. That’s actually pretty great of you to want to figure yourself out.

ha, so Garnet didn't let her leave like the wiki made it sound like, she just yeeted away, and good luck catching anyone who can move at 5 million miles per hour

the gems are running in place in the next scene and Amethyst is backwards again. connie is also facing the wrong way. ...this game's a bit jank, isn't it :P not that i mind, a little jank is fun!

Peridot breaking the fourth wall with her Are Pee Gee again. I wonder which one it is. Golf Quest Mini?

do you get anything for 100 percenting this? oh, i guess there's achievements. no bonus content tho?

Lapis: I think I could use a break.

i for one would like to know what book the prism was reading. also, it's back to not talking again.

AWW YIS! We goin' out for pizza tonight bois!

The gems finally get to stop running in place in the corner

aaww, it's a beach scene reminiscent of the opening. kind of weird that greg is the only one animated but still cute

also someone's last name is Gooch and i feel bad for them

alright now to google Hessonite's VO... Christine Baranski. Are-Are we just hiring broadway singers for everyone now? not only would I die if Hessonite made an appearance in season 6, my soul would reach the farthest realms of space if she sang a song on top of that.

well, that's a wrap! time to jot down all of Hess's dialogue for later reference! It’s a crime that there’s so few fanfics about her, she actually has a lot of potential!

[brightestandbest]

My Reading and Resource List (Updated)

The Bible 

The Qur'an Will tell you nothing about Lucifer, because as a Satanic figure he is only present in Christianity. However, his Muslim opposite number, Iblis, is an arresting figure in his own right. You can learn a lot by comparing and contrasting these two entities. Also, Lucifer wants you to seek knowledge! In this time of rising Islamophobia, refuse to be ignorant. Learn about Islam.

Sefaria.org Collection of Jewish texts including the Torah. Side-by-side English and Hebrew.

Gnosis.org Collection of Gnostic texts.

Complete Books of Enoch, Dr. A Nyland Finding a lot that is profitable in this translation and the commentary. Learn about the Watchers and their kids, the Nephilim!

Pseudepigrapha.com Giant online collection of apocrypha and pseudepigrapha. Seems to be run by a Mormon. Sure.

Lucifer: Princeps by Peter Grey. Peter Grey is a bit of a blowhard, but this is a very useful book. I recommend it reluctantly but strongly. It’s primarily a survey of scriptural, apocryphal, and mythological sources for the Lucifer legend, and as such it’s quite valuable.

The Luminous Stone, diverse collection of writings on Lucifer from a number of Western occult and historical perspectives. A mixed bag. But hey, it’s writing specifically about Luciferianism that wasn’t done by Michael Ford, and therefore it is precious.

Hemaphrodeities by Raven Kaldera. Good book on transgender spirituality in general, sections on Lilith and Baphomet may be of particular interest.

The Devil: A New Biography by Philip C. Almond. History of the “idea” of the Christian Devil, traces his origins in scripture. Includes a bunch of fascinating and entertaining material on witchcraft in the middle ages, witch trials, exorcisms and possessions. (Did you know Catholics and Protestants were literally using possessions and exorcisms as a way of talking shit about each other? This and other fun facts in the book!)

The Birth of Satan by Gregory Mobley and T.J. Wray. Retraces a lot of ground covered in the first two chapters of the book above, but in way more detail. An analysis of the scriptural sources for Satan. Good, fast read.

The Book of Adam and Eve (Latin version) Contains an early version of the fall of Satan which probably inspired the account of the fall of Iblis in the Qu'ran.

All the Kabbalah You Really Need to Know A video lecture given by a friend of mine. Great crash-course.

The Devil’s Bride by Martin Ebon a neat little book about exorcism from a psychological stand point– particularly about demonic possession and exorcism as a cathartic ritual which leads to emotional healing. Reads as fairly skeptical but is surprisingly open-minded about ESP and psychokinesis. But not demons. OK! We all have our biases, I guess. Anyway, it’s a fun read, but by no means essential.

A Dictionary of Angels Including the Fallen Angels by Gustav Davidson What it says on the tin. Shouldn’t be your only source but if you happen to find yourself wondering who the fuck Cabriel is this probably beats Wikipedia for a first stop. Nicely cited and will lead you straight to better sources.

A History of Witchcraft: Sorcerers, Heretics and Pagans by Jeffrey Burton Russell A neat, elaborately illustrated little history of witchcraft aimed at the layperson, by a scholar who has written much lengthier works on the subject that I will soon be reading. Not perfect but fairly legit.

God and the State by Mikhail Bakunin Satanic anarchy?! Not really, except for the first chapter or so. Still, worth the read!

The Tawasin of Mansur Al-Hallaj Interested in Iblis/Satan in Islam/Sufism? This is essential.

On the Origin of the World Trippy gnostic gospel, including retelling of Eden sympathetic to the Snake and to eating the damn fruit.

The Testament of Solomon Potentially useful demonology and also weirdly goddamn funny.

The Lesser Key of Solomon Get your Goetia on.

Demoniality by Ludovico Sinistrari. A weirdly sympathetic Catholic text about Incubi.

Compendium Maleficarum An old witch-hunting manual. Contains a description of a supposed Satanic witchcraft initiation/black baptism, which I adapted for my own use with great success. Also lots of fascinating history and exciting spell ideas!

Zohar.com Do yourself a favor and create a fucking account. It’s free. Search one of the most fascinating occult texts and one of the most important sources on demonology, particularly regarding the Devil’s four consorts.

The Revolt of the Angels, Anatole France Amusing philosophical Luciferian novel.

Paradise Lost, John Milton Because your image of Lucifer probably comes largely from this. And also, because it’s amazing.

Duino Elegies, Rilke "Who, if I shouted, among the hierarchy of Angels, would hear me?“

Litanies of Satan, Baudelaire Just gorgeous, perfect for use as a prayer.

Eloa, Alfred de Vigny Not necessarily much spiritual content, but it’s fun. A poem about Lucifer seducing an angel.

The Demon, Mikhail Lermontov Apparently romantic poetry about Satan seducing pure-hearted maidens is practically a genre. This is more fun than Eloa.

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, William Blake Beautiful, trippy, pro-Satanic, a fast read. Link is to full text.

La-Bas, Joris-Karl Huysmans A 19th century novel about Satanism. Gruesome, disturbing and not really Satan positive, but helpful for understanding how Satanism has been conceptualized.

[jocantmusic]

BMTH’s amo : full album review - part 1, tracks 1 - 8

1. i apologise if you feel something

i’m going to be honest, the intro electronic part (that also isn’t my favorite. it’s not really catchy (to me, it’s totally okay if you do).

though, i love the change of pace at 1:02.

then jordan and oli both in sync at 1:18.

then 1:46? amazing. the build up is so good. the sort of orchestra in the background makes it sound good.

though, the auto tune kinda kills it. you can’t even recognize it’s oliver’s voice.

overall, i have a mixed opinion on this song. musically (well, i guess i could say more

2. MANTRA

i’ve already reviewed on my main blog. click here for a link to the full review ^_^.

3. nihilist blues ft. Grimes

i’ve also have done reviewing this, click for a link. :3

4. in the dark

dude, this is catchy.

it does sound like every commercial pop song.

but the lil’ itty bitty guitar pieces here and there is so UGH. so good.

the auto tune in the chorus was used may more better. they didn’t overdo it in this song. it’s sort of reminiscent of waterparks’ stuff. they use auto tune to sound new, but it’s used well.

and the heavy guitar parts at the end was a great way to end the song.

and when you think about it, this song is kind of Mr. Brightside 2.0?

i mean not only is the song called “in the dark”, but oliver also says he’s “looking on the brightside now”.

and just the lyrics. 

THE LYRICS.

THE GODDAMN  LYRICS.

THEY’RE SO WELL WRITTEN

LIKE DID YOU LISTEN TO THAT CHORUS LIKE FUCK.

probably one of my favorites of this album. this is really good.

5. wonderful life ft. Dani Filth

okay, i did review this, but i can’t find the post for some reason so i’m going to review it again!!!

okay, not only that i love it because it’s heavier than the rest.

and just the concept of the video.

and jordan with his son eliot is just so cute.

and also dani’s part in the song?

also did you hear that breakdown? and lee hosing down his minibus while he’s at it? this is what i’m talking about.

am i the only person who think the guitar riff is a bit Korn-y? just me> okay.

the heaviest song on the album and well made and produced. i LOVE the video for it and the concept.

6. ouch

musically, again, like “i apologise if you feel something”, i didn’t like it as much.

the electronics are a bit trippy, and the auto tune’s just unnecessary.

oliver has a good voice, i don’t think he needs to cover it up like that.

and i know this is a pop album, it will have auto tune in it, but it was just overdone.

besides that, the lyrics are good.

and the references to “follow you”? amazing.

don’t you just love it when they reference their old songs in a new one?

i know i said i was under your spell but this hex is on another level 

and I know I said you could drag me through hell but I hoped you wouldn’t fuck the devil

like  🤯

7. medicine

i’ve also have done this one, you know the drill, click for a link. >^_^>

8. sugar honey ice & tea

i don’t know how many of you noticed this, but :

Sugar

Honey

Ice 

Tea

yes, it spells out shit. 

“we’re so full of shit”.

clever censorship.

the electronic intro is so cool.

then when the guitars just hit so hard.

the chorus where oli goes “i don’t know...” and his voice goes up high is so UGH .

and the electronics during the bridge too? noice.

and the “sempiternal” undertones in the last chorus too are good.

probably another favorite off this album.

that’s about it for now!

the rest of the review will hopefully drop by saturday. stay tuned if you want to see the rest.

and if some of you even read the whole thing, thank you, wasn’t expecting too many people to make it all the way here 😂.

thanks,

-jo Xx

[blue-shaded]

I’m not gonna say there isn’t victims who came out because there might be people who were hurt by him. But why keep the proof in which he is such a horrible person? Why not show everyone the images and say they are true and yes he is a terrible person who did all this stuff! There is no need to be so aggressive over people who want to know if it’s true or not. Why keep this  apparent horrible person out there and not let them let their voices be heard and say “he did this too me” I’m sure everyone will see and agree and the mods telling you all this can back this up as well? I don’t see why keeping this dude out there and keeping this info. What if he does it again? What if that happens and there is another victim? Why not show everyone how he is hurting people rn so people can stop talking to him, stop watching his stream/videos, and stop giving him a platform? It’s very hard to believe if you guys just talk about it and not do anything about it. You are causing more hurt if you don’t say “look out for him because of this and here is the proof” see you what I’m talking about?

Because 1: You haven't read a single goddamn one of my posts and asks clearly so I redirect you to those cuz I don't want to sound like a broken record, especially not to you. 2: Ironic you'd say that. 3: CGP mods are mostly asskissers so I'm not surprised there's a lone mod out there who doesn't have shit in their eyes 4: No I don't see what you're talking about because if this is your idea of reality and if you don't see the danger in me leaking things without permission you have no god damn place on this blog. Seriously are you even THINKING? YOU pressuring people into sharing stories under the premise of seeking drama is defenitely going to increase the chances of stories being told. Honestly I wish people would just massively come out and spill, but I have patience unlike you. I have a sense of respect unlike you, so maybe you should shut the fuck up, sit tight, and not pressure people into talking if they're not ready to. I bet barely ANY of you are actual abuse victims or suffered any kind of trauma because as a trauma survivor on THIS scale. I can guarentee you it takes time to get comfortable to talk and even then when the word is out it still stings like a bitch. So sit tight, don't pressure people, and CERTAINLY don't get guilt-trippy about it because that's abuse and makes you no better than the person we're trying to hold accountable.

[vendily-blog]

This is gonna be a long one about the Mario Timeline...

Spoilers for a large number of the games in the series, mostly for the ones that I’ve played.

So to start, I need to establish two things. First, the Paper universe is separate from the rest of the games (Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam), and I’ve only played the first one. (I really need to beat it...). Second, it get’s really hard to accurately place the timing of the Super Mario series, as well as their relation of the other RPG Mario series, so there are a few headcanons, clearly marked as such, and a lot of is is by release date, which is fun.

I realize I get more sarcastic as I get along, I wasn’t expecting the list to get this long, because kept on adding more games.

Okay with that settled let’s get to the games.

Baby Luigi is kidnapped and the stork is captured by Kamek and his cronies. Baby Mario and the Yoshi’s rescue them both and beat up Baby Bowser (Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island)

The Stork delivers the bros to the wrong house, and while fixing that mistake, Baby Luigi is kidnapped and the stork is captured by Kamek and his cronies. Baby Mario and the Yoshi’s rescue them both and beat up Baby Bowser, fucking Bowser comes back in time to fuck with shit, and the Adult Mario also comes back in time to help by giving you that powerup that is literally just a “you suck at this level, don’t ya”, while disguised as a pipe. (Yoshi’s New Island, which is fun. I beat the whole thing in one sitting the day I got it)

Future Kamek and his cronies kidnap all the babies so Bowser can get the star babies. Magic powers or something. Baby Mario and Baby Peach are rescued by the stork and the Yoshi’s rescue everyone, yay! (Yoshi’s Island DS, my first Yoshi’s Island game.)

The shroobs take over Mushroom Kingdom. Time is fucked because Peach wanted to ride in Professor E.Gadd’s Time Machine. The Adult Bros team up with their now toddler selves, and proceed to nearly ruin the Mushroom Kingdom. Nearly. Also E.Gadd stopped studying Thwomps after his lab is destroyed, and moves to Boo Woods in Evershade Valley to study ghosts. (Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon)

The adult Mario and Luigi move to the Metro Kingdom and do construction work (Wreaking Crew. Also Super Mario Odyssey. It’s a headcanon)

Pauline is kidnapped by Donkey Kong Sr., who latter ages poorly and goes by Cranky Kong nowadays. Mario rescues her but she loses her purse. (Donkey Kong, Super Mario Odyssey)

Mario and Pauline date, but it doesn’t work out and they have an amicable break up and stay friends (Mostly headcanon, Super Mario Odyssey)

Mario and Luigi do plumbing instead. While working, they get attacked by various creatures, including Koopas and Spinys. (Mario Bros., as well as headcanon, though Mariowiki lists an interview confirming that this game takes place in New York, so also Super Mario Odyssey)

Mario and Luigi move back to the Mushroom Kingdom. (No game here, but not really a head canon either.)

Princess Peach as well as a few Toads are kidnapped by Bowser, and the rest have been magically transformed into Question Mark blocks. Mario and Luigi go and rescue them all. A number of Toads are inspired by their bravery and proceed to do as much as they can to help them in the future, including one group becoming the Toad Brigade, led by Captain Toad.(Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Galaxy. Headcanon includes Toad Houses in all of the games that have them)

Bowser, not undeterred by his earlier defeat at the hands of the plumbers, kidnaps Peach again and puts more challenges in their way. They beat him anyway. (Super Mario Bros 2 JPN)

Mario has a trippy dream. (Super Mario Bros 2 USA)

Goddamn it, Bowser. This time not only does he kidnap Peach, he enlists the Koopalings to steal the magic wands from the smaller states within the Mushroom Kingdom and transform their rulers into various creatures. He ends up effectively defeating himself, because building a death pit covered by blocks you can destroy is a smart idea (Super Mario Bros 3, my favorite)

Princess Peach hears news that the ruler of the neighbouring kingdom, Sarasaland, Princess Daisy, was kidnapped by space monster Tatanga. Mario goes on his merry way to rescue her. (Super Mario Land)

Wario takes over a castle that Mario had, for some reason, while he was rescuing Daisy. Do I really have to include this game, it doesn’t fit any more, even if it is fun. (Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins)

Bowser, who had laid low on Dinosaur Island in the Cascade Kingdom, traps the Yoshis in eggs and kidnaps Peach again, putting the Koopalings in charge of keeping Mario away. We all know what happens. (Super Mario World, headcanon on the location of Dinosaur Island based on Super Mario Odyssey. You can’t tell me that the skeleton in Fossil Falls isn’t a giant Reznor)

Bowser and the Koopalings open  hotels and kidnap Peach (Hotel Mario)

Bowser kidnaps Peach, but gets thwarted, not by Mario (though he did give a good trouncing), but a giant sword. I didn’t beat this game, but robots happen apparently. (Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars)

Bowser kidnaps Peach in 3-D!!!!! Mario defeats Bowser after building speed for 12 5 hours and many parallel universes. (Super Mario 64, I love Pannenkoek’s videos. Did you know there’s are a number of faster routes now for the A Button Challenge?)

Paper Bowser has stolen the Star Rod, and seals the Star Spirits into cards, then, you guessed it, kidnaps Peach. Paper Mario fixes everything, but he’s overprotective, so he doesn’t let Paper Luigi help him. (Paper Mario 64)

E.Gadd at this point had captured a large portion of the Boos and Ghosts in the Gloomy Mansion, including Boolossus, a very loyal servant to King Boo. King Boo, in revenge, attack and frees all of the captured ghosts and Boos, and decides to trap all of his enemies, including the Mario Bros., who are on his hit list for some reason, into paintings. (Luigi’s Mansion, Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon)

Luigi finds the letter saying he won a mansion in the mail. Ecstatic, he tells Mario to meet him there. They don’t meet. Mario is trapped into a painting, and Luigi almost is himself if E.Gadd hadn’t come to the rescue. Luigi saves Mario, everyone’s happy. (Luigi’s Mansion)

Mario accompanies Princess Peach on her vacation to Isle Delfino. Luigi stays home because the mansion was enough excitement for now. Bowser Jr fucks shit up and kidnaps Peach, to impress Bowser. Mario saves the day in the end. (Super Mario Sunshine, which emulates poorly)

Prince Peasley from the neighboring Beanbean Kingdom warns Princess Peach that Cackletta was after her voice. Cackletta and Fawful steal a Birdo disguised as Peach’s voice, though Peach ends up getting kidnapped. Then not kidnapped through a stunt that people love to draw, Luigi crossdressing (and a fine one too). Stuff happens, Bowser get’s possessed. (Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga)

A toy company using Mario’s image creates a new line of Mini Mario’s. Donkey Kong really wants them, but they have sold out, so he robs a store. Mario was in the area and stops him, though it turns out Donkey Kong had dropped all of the toys. Enraged, Donkey Kong grabs the toads running the store and climbs to the top of the building. Mario rescues them, and in the process, knock Donkey Kong off the building onto a truck delivering the next shipment. He tries to steal those, but fails miserably. Donkey Kong is sad that he failed, but Mario gives him a free Mini Mario to cheer him up. (Mario vs Donkey Kong, which I sadly can not find a copy of.)

Paper Mario goes on an adventure. Paper Peach is kidnapped by an evil oganization trying to summon a shadow demon, and Paper Bowser just... messes around I guess. (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)

Bowser kidnaps Peach again, sending a letter of invitation in her name to the Mario Bros and Wario for some cake. They also get captured. Yoshi rescues Mario, who rescues Luigi, who rescues Wario. They do stuff, and Mario beats Bowser, because Bowser asked nicely to fight him. (Super Mario 64 DS)

Bowser, irritated with all of his losses at the hands of the Mario bros gets his hands on the Vibe Scepter, which can manipulate the emotions of everyone in it’s vicinity. He kidnaps just about everyone but Peach. Peach, armed with Perry the umbrella that used to be a human or something and really abusable mood swings, fight Bowser. (Super Princess Peach)

E.Gadd reveals the Time Machine he’s been working on. Princess Peach travels back in time and accidentally messed a lot of things up.

Peach gets kidnapped by Bowser Jr while on a walk with Mario. She gets rescued, and Bowser temporarily becomes Dry Bowser. (New Super Mario Bros.)

Mario and Luigi Go to collect coins. Princess Peach is kidnapped by the Koopalings. Rinse and repeat. (New Super Mario Bros. 2)

A Mini Mario amusement park is opened in New Donk City, and both Mayor Pauline and Mario have come to see the opening. Donkey Kong attempts to woo Pauline with a Mini Donkey Kong at the same time that Mario offers her a Mini Mario. Pauline takes the Mini Mario and the heartbroken Donkey Kong grabs her and rides the elevator to the top of the building, taking presents along the way. Mario saves the day using the Mini Marios and everybody is happy. (Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis, headcanon involving Super Mario Odyssey)

Paper Mario and the rest of the crew go on an adventure in Parallel dimensions to stop the multiverse from getting fucked. (Super Paper Mario)

Bowser hasn’t done much in a while, so he fucking kidnaps Peach during the Star Festival by lifting her castle into fucking space. Mario also get’s launched into space. The Toad Brigade give Luigi a lift as they travel through space to help Mario, though Luigi get’s lost somehow and the Brigade get stranded on Honeyhive Galaxy. Anyway, an adventure happens, a Luma throws itself into a Blackhole the Bowser had created in his new galaxy, and everybody is happy. (Super Mario Galaxy)

The Mushroom Kingdom gets two Star Festivals as Rosalina had passed close by a second time during the events of the first game. Bowser, nor to be out done by a double festival, proceeds to double kidnap Peach. Yeah... (Super Mario Galaxy 2, also personal headcanon, because there’s no way this game is 100 years after the previous one.)

Archivist Toadette finds pieces of the Dark Moon in Evershade Valley and gives them to E.Gadd to study. He later finds the rest of the pieces and the restored Dark Moon pacifies the ghosts. (This is 100% headcanon.)

Bowser ends up inhaling everyone in Peach’s Castle as well as a bunch of stuff found around the Mushroom Kingdom because of a Vacuumshroom given to him by Fawful. Some random stuff happens, including Bowser turning into a giant whenever he is basically almost dead, and a ball of Dark matter being the final villain. (Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story. Also, because of Tumblr, I can’t play this game any more without thinking of fucking fetishes. Good Job.)

The Koopalings and Bowser Jr kidnap Peach at her birthday party. Mario and Luigi go to rescue her after the initial shock of the incident wears off, though not before two very brave Toads ask to join them. The rest proceeds fairly normally, and Princess Peach is rescued. (New Super Mario Bros. Wii)

E.Gadd sells the King Boo Portrait at a garage sale. (Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon)

Bowser kidnaps Peach and knocks all of the leaves off the famous Tanooki Leaf Tree that looks like it has a tail. Mario saves the day and every gets a tail. (Super Mario 3D Land. You can find that same tree in Odyssey.)

Paper Bowser becomes really powerful because he gets a sticker stuck on him. Using this power, he beats Paper Mario, kidnaps Paper Peach, and sticks a bunch of toads to the wall for the hell of it. Paper Bowser plays with tape, and we all know how this ends. (Paper Mario: Sticker Star)

Captain Toad goes on an adventure to collect Green Stars and rescue Archivist Toadette. After rescuing her, he sees a green star fall into the clear pipe to the Sprixie Kingdom.

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and a Toad are enjoying a festival until they find a clear pipe. After repairing it, a Sprixie Princess exits, telling of Bowser capturing the other princesses before being captured herself. The crew follow, and everybody gets a cat suit. (Super Mario 3D World)

King Boo puts his plan into place, shattering the Dark Moon and hiding the pieces. Fortunately, Luigi is summoned by E.Gadd and with the help of the Polterguist 5000, collects pieces of the Dark Moon. Turns out Mario was turned into a painting, as well as the Toads that aid E.Gadd in his research. Luigi defeats King Boo again, Mario is saved and the Dark Moon is restored. (Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon)

Luigi has narcolepsy. Bowser and Antasma team up to steal the Dream stone and grant their wishes. A much needed ego boost is given to Luigi. (Mario & Luigi: Dream Team, which is fun.)

DK kidnaps Pauline for literally no reason. Mario uses toys to save her. (Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Tipping Stars)

Luigi drops a book and unleashes the Paper universe. Paper Bowser and Bowser team up and kidnap both Paper Peach and Peach. Mario, Luigi, and Paper Mario also team up and save the day. While they were gone, Shy guys drink paint or something. (Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam, Paper Mario: Color Splash)

Paper Mario paints stuff that the Shy Guys drank, I guess. (Paper Mario: Color Splash)

Bowser kidnaps Peach so he can marry her, and steals stuff for his wedding. Mario and Cappy get stylish. And this damn game is beautiful. (Super Mario Odyssey)

That’s the whole series, not really including the Wario games, or the Yoshi games, as well as the various spinoffs like Mario Party and the like. But other than that, if it has Mario in it, it was included.

[fuckinghomepage]

NOVEMBER 2, 2017

IT'S FUCKING THURSDAY. DID YOU KNOW THE TRIPPY GREEN CODE IN THE MATRIX IS JUST A BUNCH OF SUSHI RECIPES?

WORDS OF WISDOM OF THE FUCKING DAY:

FOCUS ON ONE DAY AT A TIME.

PERSON OF THE FUCKING DAY:

JOURNALIST MOTHERFUCKER LIVED WITH PIRATES IN SOMALIA. more>>

EDUCATE YOUR IGNORANT ASS:

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO LEARNING ANY SHIT FASTER. more>>

FUCKING MIND-BLOWING BOOK OF THE DAY:

HOW TO BE YOU. more>>

USEFUL SHIT OF THE GODDAMN DAY:

WATCH OUT FOR THE DAMN DYSENTERY. more>>

WEBSITE OF THE FUCKING DAY:

A SEARCH ENGINE THAT GIVES THE FUCK BACK. more>>

AWESOME-AS-SHIT VIDEO OF THE DAY:

27 FUCKING WORDS THAT TOTALLY CHANGED MEANING. more>>

SWEET-ASS PICTURE OF THE DAY:

HEART LAKE, FUCKING ONTARIO. more>>

[sharethisgemwithme]

“Adventures in Light Distortion” instant reaction

[Written on January 8-9. I was blind to this episode and the whole remainder of the Bomb, with the exception of tiny leaks and Youtube screenshots. Comments related to those spoilers are footnotes, marked with [#].]

Oh man, what a title. You see, the emphasis makes all the difference. Is it light distortion, as in little itty-bitty lies? After the previous episode, what further lies would we be telling? Or is there really the chance the gems are going to tell half-truths to Dr. and Mr. M and bring *Connie* along on this mission?!? Please oh please. Or, since the gems are light constructs, is it light distortion, as in the bending of light rays and such. And "Adventures in"... as in plural? I mean, obviously, the gems are going to chase after Blue Diamond. Are we going right to Homeworld? Are we doing this, for real? 'Cause sign me the hell up. Now, the gems have a ship, and I am 99% sure Pearl knows how to fly it because Pearl knows how to fix, operate, drive, or fly anything she damn well wants to, so we're about to find out just what it's like when the Ruby ship goes zoooooom [1]. I don't remember which is third, "Gem Heist" or "The Zoo", but whenever we meet up with Greg again (presumably at the zoo), are there other types of aliens there? Are there other gems? [2]

I'm spacing out the episodes, not chomping them all down at once, to give myself time to think about them. However, only the first episode remains available on VOD, so I'm watching tonight's via DailyMotion (the first place I saw that has the entire episode available in one video). So timestamps are those of the DM video, which has the intro begin at 0:09. As always, though, I’m watching straight through with no pauses or rewinds.

0:09 - Time to find a way. 0:32 - Hilary and Lauren tonight. (they fixed the title card, this was a Raven & Paul episode) 0:42 - Aww, no more Amethyst ponytail. 0:49 - Oh man, Pearl's losing her shit quickly. 0:59 - "Turn into a chair. I need to sit down." Wow. 1:17 - "That might be it." The zoo. Oh boy. 1:31 - Steven's like "are you fucking kidding me? a human zoo." 1:45 - Digging this music btw. 2:03 - Pearl going cross-eyed. 2:19 - "We're not coming back without Greg." That didn't sound as intimidating as I expected. 2:35 - They already flew on this, it should be OK. 2:55 - Aww. "Protect Beach City." 3:09 - "Bending reality." 3:26 - Lapis looks utterly thrilled about protecting BC. 3:42 - We're just totally handwaving all the oxygen issues. 3:53 - "Space turbulence"? Oh come on. 4:12 - WHAT ARE THEY ALL DOING IN THE SAME PLACE? 4:19 - "We should really do something about them." Ya think? 4:35 - It doesn't work that way. BTW, Greg's 40. Note to self. 5:03 - That doesn't sound good. 5:14 - NOT A GOOD DECISION, STEVEN. Maybe brace yourself before someone else hits the button. 5:35 - LOLOLOLOLOLO OH BOY. 5:50 - Oh my god, this is like almost chibi-size. 6:06 - "In what way is this funny?" EVERY WAY. 6:30 - I guess that makes sense. 6:41 - But they shouldn't all be the same size, so that's not really gonna work. 7:04 - I guess we're gonna spend the whole episode en route. 7:13 - STOP JUST MASHING BUTTONS, DUDE. 7:26 - Oh good, a big red X. That's never a bad sign. 7:31 - OH THAT'S NOT A BAD SIGN AT ALL. They just poofed? 8:07 - You might wanna get out of warp speed now. 8:31 - You can do it! 8:55 - Oh boy. Don't do this to yourself, Steve-o. 9:14 - Don't you goddamn dare do this "future vision" thing to me, here. 9:40 - HEALING TEARS? streaming back towards the gems. 10:23 - I guess, uhh, that makes sense. "Don't think too much about it." Don't worry, I won't. 11:04 - Time for stuff to happen! Next time... 11:20 - So is this Homeworld? Or are we still not quite there?

INSTANT REACTION - So it was the distortion of light we were dealing with, and honestly that was the kind of... not quite body horror, but body manipulation certainly that we would expect from a Paul & Raven episode, not a Hilary & Lauren. [N.B. I read several days later that this was in fact actually a Paul/Raven episode, and the title card was incorrect, so that makes sense] I'm a little embarrassed that the idea of Peridot and/or Lapis coming along never even occurred to me, but they were written out of the arc anyway. Steven's conversation with Connie was pretty curious, though. I wonder what she was saying on the other end of the line, but I really think she wanted to come along (as much of an absolutely terrible idea as that would probably be). We got a little more conclusive timeline. Greg would be turning 110 in 70 years, ergo he's 40 now, so he was 26 when Steven was born. Since he's "known the gems since [he] was 22", that means he spent about four years courting Rose. I know that I said "healing tears" above, and I am realizing now after the fact that Steven doesn't have healing tears, but rather healing spit. However, there really did seem to be SOMETHING there in him crying about making all these mistakes, and his tears streaming to the back of the ship. I could've sworn some landed on the gems. Obviously, since I've only watched the episode once, and in real time, I can't be sure about that (or if any of the gems were actually cracked as Steven feared, but I doubt that). At 9:14, I was briefly afraid that, with Steven monologuing how he's made so many mistakes and why couldn't he just trust Garnet's warning and now he's lost everyone, we were going to have a future-vision fake-out and reset back to the stairs outside the beach house, 4 minutes into "Dream". I would've been fucking PISSED if that had happened (side note: I've read a number of fan theories/jokes about how the last scene of the whole series is going to be Rose asking Garnet whether she should go to some concert on the beach, and that the entire series has been Garnet's future vision of what will happen if she does. It's cute, but entirely violates what little we do know about future vision), because it would've wiped away an entire episode, taken away Steven's agency to make his own decisions, and just been a fucking hack move. I'm glad that wasn't the case. I've said in the past that realistic astrophyics was never a strong point of this show, starting from the illogical gravity in "Laser Light Cannon", but I'm STILL peeved at the stereotypical asteroid belt (and though I'm amused at the trio of Rubies--I saw the first one was Navy, didn't catch who the other two were--there's no way they should all be together). That said, I appreciated the metaphorical dropkick they delivered to faster-than-light travel ("Don't think too much about it.")

SECOND WATCH THOUGHTS: Pearl's side-eye at "Back when I still served... Homeworld." WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, WOMAN? Seriously, Connie had some plan to go with Steven, or at least to do something. It's a longshot, but I'm calling it now: we are going to hear from Connie somehow before this arc is over. Pudgy, ruby-shaped Pearl is adorable. I see the really huge setting on the Roaming Eye showed up on the slot-machine-looking display as ♦ ♦ ♦ OK, doesn't seem to be any structural issues for the gems at any point while warping. That whole segment is really trippy though. As someone with minor eye issues that occasionally lead to double vision when my eyes are out of focus, it was really disconcerting. I feel like Steven's monologue is one part addressed-to-kids "Hey, when stuff around you is going poorly, you can make some rash and desperate decisions, but please don't think the original stuff is also your fault" and one part actual plot set-up, but I can't make out what it is. Whoops on the Rubies; the first one was Doc, followed by Army and Navy. That leaves Leggy somewhere off in the distance.

[1] - one of the screencaps Youtube spoiled for me was titled "Traveling faster than the speed of light" or something like that, so, yeah I'm pretty sure we'll get to see that. [2] - via tumblr posts that didn't get immediately hidden, or the tags that remained, I know there are a bunch more gems to meet. I'm still hopeful that at least a few of the Youtube screencaps were fanart, but... we'll see.