#going for the throat now. idc tbh. im sick of it honestly

[fiomeras]

I think the most miserable saddest people are the ones who shun all forms of love and anything positive as something childish and corny in favour for only edgy shit because they think constant pain and violence will make them deep or interesting. Btw.

[neowinestainedress]

i’m better now just super sad but yesterday i was completely soaked like my hair had so much water that i had to twist it (i don’t know how to say that in english😭) to take the excess of. my ults are the boyz and nct but i liked all the groups too so before the concert they put their music videos while we waited and i singed so loud and when the boyz performed (they were the first) i screamed EVEN louder so after they finished i had no voice so my throat hurts now but i hope i don’t get sick since i had to wear my wet clothes for almost 5 hours.

at the end when the idols explained that the show was cancelled and i saw dream i was so amazed by their beauty like they really are just so beautiful and handsome and perfect like??? i don’t remember that much since the end of the show is all a blurry to me (not me blocking this traumatic experience) but i can remember jeno having a worried face, renjun being sweet and giving pepero to the fans and jaemin smiling so big and waving at us and chenle didn’t smiled that much and kept a serious face but i was so shocked at his beauty like i ofc i knew he wasn’t ugly at all but i was NOT prepared to see how handsome he is. and for jisung i don’t remember anything about him like at all idk why 😭 and i must say i didn’t find jeno to be that big (in body terms) in comparison of what i read from past fans experiences and none of them were tall (at least compared to the other groups sjdhskxj) but i swear their faces were sculpted like they are not real they are actually a play of my imagination and yesterday was just a dream (or a nightmare tbh).

im trying not to be too sad about it but i’m just so disappointed at the production why did they make the idols apologize and explain the situation you could see on their faces they were sad too :(

also i saw that fansites were saying that people treated them badly and im shocked at how much they lied… im not trying to justify the racist comments that they received because that’s not acceptable and the people who said and did all that horrible stuff need to be held accountable and apologize. but i also want to explain about the other things: fansites were so entitled and they acted as if they were better than us and needed an special treatment just because. they pushed us and were rude in general. the worst part is that stan twitter already took a side and they are blaming chilean fans now when not all of us acted like that. plus even if they are not actually ssg (i doubt it honestly cause why are you doing at the other side of the world just to take pictures?) they were stalking the idols and took their big ass cameras even tho it was not allowed and the organizer told us hundreds of times ahead of the show. i even saw that one of them said that someone cut their hair like?? they even took our water bottles even tho they were supposedly allowed so how could they cut their hair when they checked or bags and clothes to make sure we didn’t have any dangerous objets? and security did that to ALL of us

but anyways i hope the idols don’t hate us too much and will give us another chance :( also i cried reading jaemin’s letter he’s so sweet and caring 😭

- 💌

i really hope you won't get sick, five hours are so much, i can only imagine how exhausted you must've felt :( at least you could see the boyz perform one good thing in all this mess.

every time someone says that they are even more beautiful irl i die a little GOD WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN??? i felt the same when i saw 127 but i get shocked anyway and i need to see ALL of them. i saw the videos and yeah, they seemed worried but i can only imagine how they must've felt, after the flight and the preparation just for this to happen, also after what happened in korea i'm sure they were also afraid some accidents were going to happen due the weather. they are my small kings idc, you don't need height when you were sculped by god. also i think that chenle shocked you because usually the fandom never talks about his beauty??? like as you said he's not ugly but his beauty is not spoken a lot and it gets overshadowed by his voice and the other members so you don't expect it

but seriously, i hate when these things happen because not only they put everyone's safety at risk but as you said, then the idols have to apologize for something they had no control over.

i'll be honest i didn't understand anything, i saw some tweets of a fansite but i don't know what to believe. for my experience i can tell it's true they feel entitled and push a lot to get better spots, it happened in paris (in this case fansites, not ssngs) and also when jaehyun came to milan, all the people pressed against him outside of the prada shop were sasangs and they still blamed us (i wasn't there anymore but i mean italian fans) so i'm not surprised this time is happening the same thing. i just wish companies blacklisted them because most times people call everyone a sasaeng without a proof (mostly mistaken people because except for some, we don't know what they look like) and it's a mess. it ruins everyone's experience and it sucks. and in this case the worst thing is that i've seen racism from all sides and whoever people want to believe it's sad to end up like that. like even if someone was rude why do you have to be racist? i don't think people would gain something from lying online saying they have been called slurs (i'm talking about chilean fans in this case). i don't even understand why they still bring their cameras when they know they can't, also if you said that they controlled everyone why did they say they only checked up on them???

this concert was a mess i hope next time nothing will happen and i'm sure idols don't hate the fans, the ones to blame are the organizers, also i've read that they knew before about the weather but decided to ignore it??? anyway yes, jaemin is a sweetheart, the only thing i can tell you is to try to cherish the good things that happened (you saw your ults groups) and maybe next time they will come back with their own tour so it will be even better