#- because by god nobody thinks your cool. absolutely fucking nobody. being nice is whats cool

[fiomeras]

I think the most miserable saddest people are the ones who shun all forms of love and anything positive as something childish and corny in favour for only edgy shit because they think constant pain and violence will make them deep or interesting. Btw.

[beanghostprincess]

Bughawk is soooo underrated and it makes me so sad. Please tell me you see how grand this vision is

I am personally more of a Shuggy/Crocobug shipper but that's mainly because Mihawk isn't doing it for me much?? I love him and his gold autistic eyes staring into my soul and his classy attitude and vampiric looking aesthetic, but I wish he had more screentime to figure out his personality better and enjoy him more. But I do like him! I swear! And tbh one of my favorite ships is Cross Guild, like, the three of them together, even if I have a bit of a preference inside of the trio. I do love them and tbh I think Mihawk and Buggy's relationship would be really funny to explore. Especially within the fanon portrayals of the characters because god forbid Oda gives the cool edgy swordsman more than three minutes of screentime and more than five words per episode.

Okay, so doing a mix between fanon and canon and "whatever the fuck I want to see these characters as because I am the princess of this blog and I can do whatever I want": I think their relationship is fucking hilarious.

Unlike with Crocodile, Buggy doesn't really know what to do with Mihawk. Crocodile at least is easy to read and he's usually the one to make the first move, but what the fuck is Buggy supposed to do with the swordsman sitting in front of him, legs crossed and staring into his soul like he's about to bite his neck and suck him dry. Scary. And also very hot. But mostly scary. But turns out Mihawk is like, way more peaceful than what he thought. He likes reading. And classical music. And swords in a very weird obsessive way that the clown should not speak about. And not much, honestly. Cooking, too, apparently. Buggy keeps learning new things about him every day and the guy opens up little by little, because even if he's quiet, the very few words he says speak a lot for himself. He's also a fucking sadist and loves teasing Buggy all the time to the point of making him cry of frustration, but, well, when he's good he's really nice to be around <3

They both have history with Shanks. You know the movie "The other woman"? The one about this girl who discovers her boyfriend is married and then becomes besties with the wife and start hating him together? That's the energy I'm getting from this triangle. Stop making Mihawk cry over Shanks not loving him and a past love!! Make him go "Oh. Yes. Red Hair and I had something. Pretty sure he still felt something for you, clown, so I am not happy about that" / "What?! Why would you be angry at me for Shanks' shitty feelings that have absolutely nothing to do with me, by the way, our thing ended years ago when his stupid-" / "No, no. I am referring to him. Moron. I like you" / "You do???'' / "Sometimes. Sort of. Maybe. Your existence confuses me". And then they start dating because nobody can tell me Cross Guild isn't just a poly relationship doing business together.

I think Mihawk likes Buggy because it gives excitement to his boring life and also he's fun to bully. Besides, he's more than what he looks like and he actually has a dream and pirate spirit, so maybe he's not as useless as he used to think. He's still annoying, yes, but oddly comforting. Mihawk can't quite figure out what he wants with this clown, so he just sticks around with him. Buggy is like a chihuahua. A very loud chihuahua. Mihawk is definitely a black cat. They don't match. At all. Not in the slightest. And yet, Mihawk likes his company. And Buggy actually loves seeing all the soft and interesting sides of Mihawk and realize that he's not as scary as he looks like. I mean, he could slice him in half if he wanted to and he's still scary and hot but, y'know, he has a very domestic side that Buggy likes.

Thinking about them being established is pretty sweet because I think Mihawk would like reading out loud to him and Buggy would make the funniest comments about the story. And they would cuddle. And it would be so uncharacteristically soft of them and it's something they only do in private. Crocodile stares at them from the corner of the room and,,, He likes having them there. He's not alone and it's kind of sweet.

Also overprotective Mihawk with Buggy my beloved. In the sense of: He cooks for him because his eating habits suck. He makes him go on walks and do a bit of exercise. He makes him read, too. Listen to music that it's not only commercial pop or circus music or musical/Broadway tunes. He takes care of the clown when he's not bullying him. I think Mihawk treats Buggy like Sharpay Evans treats her dog.

And following the Shanks thing to end this post: Bughawk is really cool because I think it would break Shanks' heart and I love angst.

[lollytea]

I don't know if anyone has said this before, or who came up with the idea but Hunter would absolutely be the kind of person to doodle himself and willow as wolves and in love whilst kicking his feet and giggling (as soon as someone else walks in though he would be throwing the entire book out the window)

It's so funny because Hunter has a tendency to talk to himself. He's very loud. But I think he'd be drawing his little wolfsonas and getting so giddy and overwhelmed by the thought of it that he is rendered incapable of even articulating what he's feeling but he still has to make some noise.

He's so embarrassed that he's doing this and also he's so PUMPED by how much fun he's having and he's jittery with how smitten he is with his little self indulgent wolf au and he's getting a thrill from it because there's nobody around to stop him and nobody will ever know. He is cringe but he is free. So he's overstimulated, he's kicking, he's giggling, he's squealing a little, he's trying to make words but all that's coming out like "WHAT IF-!!" *scribbles a green streak in wolf!Willow's fur* "SO COOL!! IT'S--JUST GOTTA--AAA!!! TEETH!!!" *makes wolf!Hunter's teeth sharper* "YES!! YESSS!!!!!"

Like he's trying to be low-key about it cuz this is supposed to be a secret but the whole fucking house can hear him. They're politely ignoring the racket he's causing.

He's like a little mad scientist bringing his creation to life. Except his creation happens to be his drawings of him and the girl he likes as wolves nuzzling together.

That's the kicker here that's making him go fucking bonkers. Hunter draws wolves all the time and he shoves them in the face of everybody who will look but drawing himself and Willow being affectionate wolves is a HUGELY personal thing. Hunter's equivalent of pouring his heart out in a love letter or whatever.

And God if Willow happened to catch him in the act and he's got nowhere to throw it, he might be inclined to eat the fucking sketchbook. He was SO in the zone and SO gushy that Willow sneaking up on him spooked out a full blown scream of terror. His whole face is set fucking ablaze. All he can really do with the sketchbook is drop it, fucking lunge after it and clumsily scrabble to make a grab for it before it hits the floor and clutch the stupid thing close against his chest like it's his first born, still heaving as he recovers from his fright.

Willow hadn't meant to scare him, she just wanted to see what he was doing. He was usually excited to show her his little drawings. He'd also blush really bad when she complimented them, which was super cute, so Willow usually sought out stuff to praise him for. Wasn't hard. He WAS the coolest dude ever.

Willow can absolutely tell he's embarrassed and she assumes it's because he doesn't think his latest drawing is very good. He often points out when he messes up proportions or other errors, so it's not unlike him to be shy about showing others art he's not proud of.

"Can I see your drawing?" She asks with a soft smile. She has no intention of pushing it if he says no, but she's always curious to see the stuff he makes.

But a detail Willow hasn't entirely grasped yet (she gets the basics) is that the softer her voice gets, the harder it is for Hunter to tell her no. He can clearly tell she's not pressuring him into anything. He can tell she's giving him plenty of an option to keep this to himself. She's always just SO nice to him and ugghhhh!!!!

Completely mute, eyed locked on the floor, ears scalding, Hunter ends up handing her the sketchbook.

And Willow goes completely fucking batshit insane.

"Is this us??" She demands, pumped as hell. "Is this us as beasts??? That's so fucking cool!!! Look at sharp your teeth are, look how awesome my hair looks!!!" She catches him by the face and squeezes his cheeks "You are SO talented!!!"

Willow praises him RELENTLESSLY and Hunter's just there like

He really does gobble her attention up. He really does. Gets him all floaty and smiley for hours afterwards. Nerd.

Anyway Willow is obviously aware he has a bit of a thing for her but she doesn't know a lot about wolves. So the specifics of their little affectionate touches in the doodles completely fly over her head.

"Are our wolf selves friends?" She asks "Is that why we're hugging like that?"

Hunter's ears light up like poppies and, knowing full well that he added those gestures of affection with the idea in mind that their wolfsonas were mated for life, decides to choke out "Um. Yeah. We're friends."

Its not technically a lie. They're just very good friends.

Anyway Hunter nearly fucking faints later that day when Willow tucks her head in the crook of his neck, nuzzles into it then smiles up at him and says "It's just like we're wolves :D 💕"

[creppersfunpalooza]

( @allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers )

HELLOOO AND WELCOME BACK FOLKS!!! DUE TO A LACK OF SPONSORSHIP AS OF LATE, WE’VE STRUGGLED TO KEEP THIS LITTLE GAME AFLOAT, BUT FORTUNATELY, WE’VE GOT ONE!!! WOOHOOO!!!

FOR THIS ROUND, WE’VE GOT A COLLECTION OF FUN GUYS! ANGELIC BEINGS, LESS ANGELIC BEINGS, AND VARIOUS OTHERS (don’t you see i have a bias)!!!! NO USE STALLING, LET’S GET RIGHT TO IT!!!

*important disclaimer* i actually know very little about the following characters other than what the creator has directly told me. i’m going purely based on vibes.

COMING IN AT 5TH PLACE, WE HAVE RAYAN!! i love scars, man, i really do, and i also love soppy cats. so why is he so low, you may ask? because i do NOT 💥 think he should be mean to his fiance. come on my guy… be nice… spread peace and love!!!! peace and love!!!!!!!! put in some effort come on!!! put in the work!!!!! i know you can do it buddy you just gotta try!!!!!! pretty pretty please… anyways i do really like his design, its very simple while still conveying stuff about his character. like i dont know what he’s been through but clearly he’s been through a lot. but STILL 💥 BE NICE. 💥 TO YOUR. 💥 FIANCE 💥💥💥💥💥💥.

NEXT UP IN 4TH PLACE IS MADIR!!! i really do like madir!!! i know barely anything about him but once more i rlly like the details you mentioned about him. like he seems mildly unsettling and i love that for him. like you could probably find him in the woods just sort of hanging out. he’s a source of trauma but i honestly do not mind because at least HE 💥 would probably be nice to his fiancé. if he had one. i actually can’t speak on his behalf thats purely speculation.

IN 3RD, FOSTER!!!!! i don’t exactly know why i just think they’re neat. also hi in case you couldn’t tell i really like scars on characters 💖💖💖 love them they do something to my brain. and foster’s got a ton. i loove what you’ve told me about their backstory and they just seem so neat!!! i hope they’re healing now. even though. they’re probably not. because nobody is Allowed To Be Happy Ever. as a general rule for character making. anyways chewing on them and moving on.

BUT WAIT!! WE’VE ONLY GOT TWO LEFT!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??????

it needs i need to put an ad here or else i’m getting fired. that’s what it means. SO HELLO!! DO YOU HAVE A WISH? DO YOU WANT A GOD THAT ACTUALLY LISTENS? THEN CONSIDER JOINING THE CHURCH OF OCELLUS!!!

for the small, small initiation fee of a limb or organ, you too can have your wishes granted! help our god gain more power by having him help you! all you’ve gotta do is give us a little bit of yourself for each wish! and you know what? it doesn’t even have to be you! have a beloved family member, partner, or friend? they work too! just nick off an arm while they’re sleeping! they won’t miss it!!!! join today to get an additional wish!!!!!! and remember, Bless Ocellus’s Good and Generous Name!

(sponsored by the Church of Ocellus. The Church of Ocellus does not claim responsibility for any bodily injury or harm to come from this ad. Sacrificial ritual tutorials not included. Please check out your local place of worship for more details before committing any acts of mutilation.)

AND WE’RE BACK FOLKS! SORRY ABOUT THE AD. LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE WILL SPONSOR US SO YEAH WE’RE HAVING TO RESORT TO UH… YEAH. ANYWAYS, LET’S GET BACK TO THE RATINGS!

COMING IN 2ND… AARIN!!! boy oh boy my love of supernatural entities is surely not warping my bias here!!! they seem really cool honestly, even besides the whole angel thing. like woah…. you don’t wanna be a tool used for destruction? too bad! you’re gonna be used to burn down a house! lmao!!!! also i absolutely love aarin’s design. their scars(?) are so fucking cool i love the swirlies. auuygghh so normal about angel guys….. so so normal……….

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, IN 1ST PLACE…. ZURIEL!!! LET ME JUST SAY ITS DESIGN IS SO SO SO SO COOL I CANT GET OVER IT IT JUST LOOKS SO AWESOME. I love the gradients on the claws and the shape of the halo. once again, surely my bias and love for supernatural creatures is in no way warping my opinion!! it’s my favorite. also rare but appreciated and loved it/it’s pronouns representation.

[kausatstolar]

11-20

former | latter

Alright. It's been a very long time since I've done this, largely because life got in my damn way. It's about 18 days until the first anniversary of sovstuck. Isn't that cool? Let's go back to visit our favorite jadeblood. I think I like the panel/text/analysis format, so I'm going to keep up with that.

RETRIS: Investigate poster.

You're not sure if you can consider your JOB a HOBBY, but you entertain the NARRATOR anyway. You are an ACTOR, of the TRADITIONAL LIVE-ACTION BATTLEGROUNDS ROLEPLAY variety. It is a controversial, culturally Carapacian pastime. Lights. Cameras. Action. Bloodshed. Real people died in the making of these productions. Some by your hands.

There's something delightfully unsettling about this. Retris's hand being the only troll hand, grasping the crown. The monsters strewn across the counter. The offhanded comment on the fact he's killed some of these people.. How well acquainted was he, with the hands in the poster. How old is this poster, on that note?

RETRIS: Stare at your hands.

You take a moment to contemplate the amount of times you've washed gore off your carapace. Some were people you've loved. You think it's fine. They'd all agreed in advance that that's how they wanted to go.   You try not to think about it too hard, but it gnaws at you sometimes when the moon is hung high. Some of them were so young. Just like you.

Guh. I really like the composition of this panel. It's so fucking dreadful. He looks so unhappy here. You think it's fine. They agreed in advance. You try not to think about it.

RETRIS: Get immediately distracted by the SHRINE behind you.

Oh fuck yes. Disregard all previous thoughts. It's EVANGELION time. You’ve been a hardcore fan of the series NEON GENESIS EVANGELION since you were a child. It was a formative piece of media to you. It has informed many aspects of your being. You have a particular fixation on the relationship between Evangelion's IKARI SHINJI and NAGISA KAWORU. This is your shrine dedicated to the pairing. KawoShin, it's called in fan spaces. Not that you've ever participated in those. Every Evangelion fan except for you and your BEST FRIEND is annoying. You'd like it if they got blown up with lasers. In fact, you feel quite the same way about-

Nothing better to wipe away the pain of all the people you've lost along the way than blorbos! He's so charming here. His artstyle is really charming. Look at that smiiiile. I'm sure that his love of NGE and KawoShin will not be exceedingly relevant, and has absolutely nothing to do with the way I format these. I feel the urge to blow everybody but you and your bestie up with lazers, though.

It's a sound page...!

Oh?

Fun first sound page! Wonder who's blowing up his DMs?

RETRIS: Investigate desk.

I understand him. That's all I can say here. ...Is that a KawoShin mousepad?

...What a wonderfully drawn hand. What on earth is making him hesitate like this?

Oh. That's all he was doing.

Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up-

NERV, not KawoShin. Cool. What's all the hurry? Surely nobody's dying? ...Surely.

There we go! Ah, yes, good ol' VRISCORD. Everyone's using this handy little messaging app these days. Probably on account of it coming pre-downloaded on literally fucking everything. Your username on the platform is azimuthAnomaly -- don't tell the internet -- and English m4y not 6e your first l4ngu4ge, 6ut, you 4re trying your 6est. It seems a couple of your FRIENDS have been messaging you while you were out.

Oh. Yeah. I understand. Nice to get a view of who he talks to.

RETRIS: Commit favoritism.

You check on your best friend first, as it should be. She comes before everything else in the world. Including yourself.

[PRIVATE CHATLOG]

Have a strong feeling that "Including yourself." is going to come back and bite everybody. God, he and GG are SO fucking cute together. I love the camraderie they've got here. Ret-HIIssss.... The friendship they have reminds me a little of me and my bestie. Heehee.

[dollivication]

hiiii im glad you liked my insane ramblings about guro and OH MY GOD you were so right w the ring finger thing im rotating that concept...i love pathetic men...

speaking of pathetic. kind of springboarding off of what one of the other anons said about Nero but only showing affection when u got them bleeding would make them do some loony shit. you hear hey babe watch this and then dantes intestines are spilling out bc thats the only way he can get your attention and he wants it soso bad. and like they COULD force you to pay attention to them but youre so cold and its so much easier this way because itll just heal later and it really doesn't even hurt that bad anymore? (that is the blood loss talking there are so many stains on the floor that are NOT coming out. perhaps not even just blood teehee)

or like. elbow deep in vergil's guts and hes trying so hard to pay attention when youre naming everything even tho you know hes not gonna be able to focus bc taking an interest in peoples hobbies helps you get closer right?? and really whats more intimate than someone having their hands all up in your organs, no one ELSE has ever touched him there! no one else knows him inside and out like this, its so romantic! especially if you do some freak shit like lick the blood off your hands bc now part of him is in you...utterly delusional i fear

okay last insane thought for now yk how in 3 dante takes a shot to the head like its nothing? imagine asking so nicely and sweetly if you can try it because you wanna see how itll heal and also all the gray matter spattering everywhere. youre not cleaning it up of course its his fault for making such a mess!! also not convinced theres actually brain in there like you are making your insides be on the outside because you want someone to look at you BE NORMAL!!! -☢️

WHEN I READ THIS I WAS GIGGLINH BECAUSE HOLYYYSHIY YU GET ME SO WELL HUGS YOU!!!! LIVE LAUGH LOVE DMC GORE.. cw!!1!1!

THEY ARE BOTH TWO ENDS OF THE FREAKY SPECTRUM AND I AM ABSOLUTELY HERE 4 IT!!! laik omgfgh.. vergil thinks there’s something soww poetic about quite literally giving himself up, all of him, for the person he loves most.

if you decide to laik… cut off his tongue and put it in a jar or just basically any other part of him,, he is going to be over the MOON!!! laik awhh, yu love him so much that you’re preserving a part of him <33 uhm!! please get help! Loony!!!!1!!!1

WHEREAS DANTE IS LAIK.. INITIATING IT!!! comes up to yu laik a kid showing off a bug like hey check out this cool gash you can see my bone!! make it worse pretty please??? you should totally skin me ahahaha…!! LIKE STOP OT YOU CREATURE‼️‼️ JES SO NASTAY he loves the sting methinks..

this is like mary jane 4 him he gets high off this and harder than ever before!!! the only downside for the both of them is that your fascination is often very short-lived… (◞‸◟)

vergil is more likely to wait around until you decide to get hit by another urge to ‘study’ him whereas dante is ALLLWAYS trying to appeal to you. hey, you’ve looked at my ribcage already, look at my brain!! or what about my eye?? YUCK

THE LAST BIT OH MY GODH!!!! it always ends the same! you losing interest after a bit of observing, leaving them to pick up the foul, iron scented mess. auwaaa.. for a split second they probably realize the fucked up situation you’re both in, which i reckon causes them to spiral a bit—before they remember how happy you looked to be squeezing their insides!!…

oh well nobody ever said being together should be a healthy thing! they’ll clean the blood up later,, right now they just need a biiiig nap<3 and the cycle will repeat!!! they can’t wait!

imsosillyimsosillyimsosillyimso

[captainbobbin]

For the ship ask game: Marluxia/Saïx, please! 💜

(referring to this ship ask meme)

Its threading the line between Makes Sense, Compels Me and Doesnt Make Sense, Compels Me tbh!

this got long so uh under the cut to save your dashspace lmao

okay. okay. Marluxia/Saïx

listen. Horrible bitchy power-hungry usurpers that hate everyone and have cotton-candy hair and will do everything in their power to be snide shitty and get their way while also covering up a deep and intimate loss of a formative female figure in their lives I get it I get it these two should AT MINIMUM go get coffee together or something fr.

My chat and I talk CONSTANTLY about Marluxia being so peanutbutter and jealous over Saïx being Xemnas' fave special boy and being big mad because does he want to be in Saïx's place or does he want to be Saïx or does he want to be WITH Saïx god he's a mess and he's going to go sit and talk to a potted plant until he feels a bit better. Why is that stuck up moon prick so pretty and insufferable and whats his deal and is he free of Friday night? of course he wouldn't be UGH he's such a dickhead nevermind but he's so cute tho

I think. They would have amazing chemistry if for the love of god they just pulled their heads out of their asses and sat and had a normal convo however my take on these silly little disneyanime guys is far removed from canon ajsdhask hence why it both does and doesn't make sense. Like absolutely they're both self-serving (to an extent) jerks who are narrow-viewed and focused only on their own gain and its physically impossible for either of them to care at all but. Man. If they had a little more time to just chill and hang out and discuss things like normal people I think they'd have a lot in common and would actually get along and be civil and hell can you imagine them working together poor Xemnas wouldn't stand a chance against his two fave bitch prettymen coming for his throat arm in arm

I feel like they'd be that kind of couple that are either like cat and dog and fight constantly and bicker and spit vitriol and no one knows why the fuck they're together because PATENTLY whatever this is isn't working (when actually no one *gets it* except the other and they have a strange and corrosive bond) or its just like. They just click. Theyre seamless with one another. there's a flow, an equilibrium, they both want the same things and can look at something and process it the same way. I think they'd be absolutely despicable together as Nobodies, Literally cataclysmic levels of insufferable cunt and snide violence and god poor Axel would never know peace. However I am very very much of the view that Any And All Nobody-based Romances are doomed to fail by the narrative so. Maybe it should be kept to a sordid little affair more than anything else. That would probably be the for best. You just know Saïx would be so super bent out of shape abt it tho lmaoooo

I'm a sucker for XemSai (as I'm sure everyone knows well by now) but I'm also a big sucker for LauriEven/MarVex and one of my big headcanons for the latter is that post kh3 when things have settled down, Lauriam and Isa hang out. Isa is friends with Even more than Lauriam but. I really really like the idea of Lauriam perhaps approaching Isa and just being normal around him? They go out on coffee runs and just talk, they meet up every so often to catch up, talk about how Lea and the kids are and how Radiant Garden is coming together again and yes the flowers here are so nice and I understand why you would want to live here and I Just! Really Like! Isa being a supportive character towards semi-dad-figure Even and now that everyone is cool and not wanting to murder each other Lauriam is actually really civil and dare he think it even good for dear old Even and Isa just kinda! Likes him! They become friends. Like friends with no baggage, no pressure, just hey if Isa swings around RG way again do you wanna get lunch and catch up? Theyre just normal guys now with a lot in common and a future ahead and its just comfortable having someone similar a phonecall away that is happy to listen and provide a fresh outlook on daily things, yknow?

I think. all the time. About a LauriEven marriage where Isa is asked at the reception to dance with them both because he's like. Even sees him as 'one of the kids he saw grow up' and they bonded over their work and they've always gotten along, surrogate son and dad relationship, and Lauriam, softened and approachable with his new heart just as Isa is, feels able to reach out and know that Isa is ever-reliable and genuinely wants things to be better for everyone. I just think that they'd make really really nice like family-friends who platonically love and appreciate each other once they have hearts..... as Nobodies, maybe not so much ahsdgahskd

I know my take on isa is generally very soft and doting but just let me have this asdhaskjdj

anyway this was a rambling splurge of words and I will be thinking about this for the rest of the evening thank you I love this I am going to go sit in my bathtub and think about the symbolism of moonflowers a lot.

tl;dr: I love them as a platonic ship but there is def potential there and I love them both separately (and with others) so so much

[jojotaxevasion]

Joestars Family Gathering HCs

WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS

Also sorry for not posting in forever and the fact that this just slowly gets worse xd

My dad installed parental controls and turned on exclude all non allowed sites

including tumblr :(((

but I managed to disable it >:D

Johnathan: The Nice Relative

He's the one who hosts the parties because the rest of them aren't willing to have their houses absolutely fucking destroyed

No matter what happens, he smiles and laughs as the rest of the family runs around the mansion, accidentally destroying multiple very expensive things in the process.

As a conversationist, he's very nice to everyone, and always listens to anybody and pretends to not be offended at all.

"Oh! No, it's fine, Its an easy repair!" *Meanwhile in the background, curtains are ripped off, the windows are broken, the rug is on fire, the kitchen table has a leg missing*

oh yeah did I mention he does all of this shit himself

Joseph: The Extremely Strange Relative

Oh boy, this man has seen some shit!

He will always tell tales of his grand escapades at the dinner table, about the time he met a human bubble dispenser, partnered up with *GERMAN SOLDIER*s, found out that his extremely hot mentor was actually his mom which made the entire thing where he looked through the keyhole extremely awkward and fought the three Aztec gods of fitness and their one child whose names happen to be eerily close to names of rock bands.

He then has to fight off everyone else saying that his stories are fake, despite the evidence that proves it.

By the way, all of this actually happened.

"OH WOE IS ME, Y/N!! NOBODY BELIEVES ME WHEN I SAY THAT I SLAPPED THE BAND CARS INTO SPACE WITH MY SEVERED ARM!!!!"

Jotaro: The Quiet Relative

He just sits in a corner and doesn't talk at all.

If someone comes up to him, he just answers their query in an extremely blunt fashion and stops all eye contact.

"Yes Y/N, starfish can walk. Now go away."

Josuke: The Offensive Relative

He keeps cracking adult jokes like he does to his friends.

He also has very controversial opinions, both serious and non-serious.

e.g. Aliens are real (Mikitaka lmao), pineapple belongs on pizza, etc...

As much as you want to laugh at all his jokes and tell him how funny he is, you have to pretend to be disgusted because everyone else is, pepe the frog sadge moment...

"I’VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! DIO'S A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER! HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING GREAT GREAT GRANDPA! (Johnathan I think) THAT’S RIGHT, HE TOOK HIS NONEXISTENT SPIKY DICK OUT, AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING GREAT GREAT GRANDPA! AND HE SAID THAT HIS DICK WAS “sO pOwErFuL” AND I SAID “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” SO I’M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER.COM! DIO, YOU GOT A SMALL DICK! IT’S THE SIZE OF STEELY DAN'S STAND, EXCEPT WAY SMALLER! AND GUESS WHAT?! HERE’S WHAT REAL DICK POWER LOOKS LIKE!"

He then proceeds to destroy the entire house and then fix it, before breaking it again.

Giorno: The Talented Relative

Giorno is a man of many talents. Literally.

As the kid of DIO, he was encouraged to be extra special by his biological father after being taken out of his abusive household.

On top of run the biggest mafia family in Italy, he can play the piano and violin, draw realistic stuff far better than the most talented people on Fiverr, cook extremely high-quality food, and negotiate his way out of basically anything thrown at him.

Oh yeah, and let's not forget the infamous SHOVE YOUR EAR INSIDE YOUR FUCKING EAR CANAL-

Although he is talented, he is still super well rounded, and whenever someone complements him, he always tries to downplay his own talent and pulls the uno reverse card and complements their talents.

Overall, super chill, very nice.

"Oh no, what you just witnessed was something that rarely happens, usually I'm way worse than that..."

Jolyne: The Cool Relative

Man, she is C O O L

You look up to her for her high levels of S W A G, something about all that confidence and badass energy oozing out of her like the disappointment of the Hollow Knight community when Silksong is delayed for the 69420th time. (Haha obscure joke)

The fact that she's a basically a vigilante hero just adds to that.

Also gives good but also bad advice about life in general, and helps you with a lot of things.

Yeah not much to say lmao

"You see Y/N, when someone insults you or your parental figures, don't try to negotiate peacefully. Instead, the REAL way to deal with those kinds of people, is to BEAT THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT THEM-"

Johnny: The Relative Who Lives In The Middle of Nowhere

Bro really lives in the middle of nowhere

As in a farm somewhere in the wheat fields of the midwestern US

He usually doesn't show up half the time, mostly because something weird happened along the way.

"I would ride my tractor here, but apparently I can't do that..."

Jo2uke: I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING FOR HIM IM SORRY-

[captainimprobable]

I'm a month away from turning 30 so here's 30 things I learned in the last 3 decades -Sometimes being in love is not a reason to stay in a relationship. Sometimes you need to leave, no matter how in love you are. -You'll be surprised at the ideas you have that change, but even more surprised at the ones you keep and don't change. -Keep a water bottle on you at all times -Adults have no idea what the fuck they're doing. If you feel confused and like you don't have it figured out, congrats, you're just like the rest of us. There will never come a point where you understand absolutely everything and that's okay and something you need to accept. -If you can, get a pet. Caring for something gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning -You shouldn't be absolutely miserable at your job. It's okay if you don't like it, it's okay if it's not your passion, but if you dread going every day you need a new job -You don't owe your bosses anything more than what the job requires -at some point you'll realize: you weren't ugly, you were just 13. You weren't someone who deserved to be hated, you were just 13. -For fuck's sake be kind to retail and restaurant workers! And sanitation staff! -Just be kind, for you and for other people. It will mean the world to the other person, and honestly sometimes you'll get good shit from being nice. If you compliment the woman giving you a rental car, she may waive some fees for you just bc you were nice. (Speaking from recent experience lmao) -There is no guide book that other people have. Nobody has a list telling them exactly how when and where to accomplish things. If you feel like you're behind your peers, that's not because you're behind. It's because you're living a different life than them. It sounds stupid and simple but it's true. That's their life. You're doing your thing. You'll get there. (I don't believe this one yet but I'm working on it) -Kids are people too. Treat them with respect and kindness. -Don't save things for special occasions. Make today special. -You need to have friends who are different from you. I swear to god you will grow so much more if you have friends who aren't your age or race or religion. -Sometimes you will be bad at something, no matter how hard you try. That's okay. -Stop imagining some perceived future when your life will "start". You're living right now. You've started. Keep going now. (Still learning this one too) -It's okay to mourn the years mental or physical illness took away from you. It's a form of grief and that's totally valid. Just don't get stuck thinking about it forever. -Labels can be great! But don't let labels shut you in boxes. People can change at any age. -Learn how to use tools. I needed my mother to build a chair for me last year because I don't know a hammer from a screwdriver. -You WILL lose friends. It's inevitable. It doesn't mean it was a failed friendship. It was just time. -Advocate for yourself at the doctor! If they don't take you seriously, find a new doctor. -Stuffed animals are for people of every age -If you're going through something, tell someone. At least one person. You'd be surprised how much it can help. It's not cool or noble to keep it all to yourself. -Get a hobby that you need to use your hands to physically do -Go outside at least once a day. Unless it's dangerous. Then stay inside ig. -Doing things alone is great, actually. Traveling, going to dinner, etc. Being alone can be so much fun. -Fashion is made up. Wear those contrasting patterns. It literally does not matter. -You don't have to give up your "childish" hobbies. There are no rules. -Don't play games in a relationship, whether romantic or platonic. State your intentions clearly, and if there's a problem, bring it up immediately so it doesn't fester. -Lift with your knees. For real.

[delusion-of-negation]

I loove it when folks say things like "you don't need positivity for masculinity/liking youthful skinny twinks/liking buff guys/so on because the whole world is positivity for that" like in what world dudes??? you think the whole world is like wow you like fucking twinks oh my god that's so cool you're not going to burn in hell?

there's not some like limited amount of queer positivity that we simply must reserve solely for the most in need groups, even if somebody was more accepted than somebody else, but that's a bloody big if in this case. nobody's coming to take your support, nobody's saying you don't need it. this is much like when I said I would like more support for terminally ill people, because the "it absolutely will get better!" mantra is unhelpful, and people say it depresses them to think about things not getting better so they simply can't have people like us "ruining" positivity for them. my ramble about it got mostly chronically ill people, so some began brushing terminally ill people under the rug or saying that same bullshit with a new coat of paint, like "but remember even if you cannot be cured some things will get better, don't give up!" but I subsequently get treated like the one hijacking things and being pessimistic, on my own post that I didn't even put in any tags. it literally just advocated for variety, so then we all had something. people took it as their own opportunity to soapbox about how it absolutely does get better just not how you expected uwu, and I eventually got told maybe I should view dying as better, so I can understand even I will get better, as if that's not fucking horrible response to someone saying "would be nice if I could hear good things sometimes idk", like chin up buddy dying is actually what better looks like for a sad sack of shit like you, hope this helps :).

addiction to infighting and viewing everything on oppressors vs oppressed logic means you treat suffering of others as territory disputes and confrontation and threats. I mean, ffs y'all are after mrbeast atm because he *checks notes* paid for surgery for like thousands of blind people who wanted it, I even saw claims he's refusing to pay for people who wouldn't be filmed which btw are absolutely pulled directly out of that person's asshole, you think goddamn mrbeast sat down to film thousands of people??? bro.

and it really is so similar to when people say physical disability is worse, mental health is worse, chronic is worse, x, y, z. it's fuckt. similarly like when I talked about epilepsy and compared it to an intolerance or allergy, which I have, but people assumed I don't, misread what I was saying, went on the attack. it's so tiresome. I literally was saying both are equally serious, and inflicting what triggers that in somebody is wrong and dangerous, people took colloquialisms as literal translations so badda bing badda boom, ableism against myself apparently. which means I'm oppressor, capable of maximum power, thus deserving of maximum cruel. exactly the same logic t3rfs use to send suicide bait asks to me. oppression olympics, I'm sorry but that's what it is. stop it. you'd honestly be more useful to queer people or disabled people as a completely silent onlooker than as an asshole claiming that your oppressor is a gay man with different tastes, dying people, or an otherwise vulnerable disabled person, or the guy paying for the surgery (who btw did also say the gov should be doing so, like ik apparently the narrative is he doesn't do that but yeah he does).

warped outlooks like these are spreading like wildfire, and you'd honestly be surprised how much they're even infesting irl space, including these weird obsessions with finding any way a person transgressed or sinned, ways you're more deserving of support, absolutely ridiculous leaps in logic and twisting of facts, it's just harmful. to people. you can talk all you want about politics, that community, what's best for the ends, but people are the reason literally any of that even matters to begin with. the rights of gay people aren't abstract, they're not for their own sake, they're not philosophical mental exercise, they are to protect queer people.

aromantic people don't get that the world just isn't pro-romance regarding ace, gay, trans, or poly romance, asexuals don't re sex absolutely not being accepted whenever it deviates, if you're an aromantic or gay or trans person, if you're kinky, etc, and then it doubly is an issue that gay/trans allo/allo people start asking we somehow prove being aro/ace is on par with other forms of this general genre of discrimination, as if being equally suffering has historically determined if people should care about each other. preemptively: look at the flags in my icon, I'm fucking aro. dude. however, I'm also gay af. I fuck men. I am criticising the fact you devour exclusionary rhetoric despite saying "exclusionists dni".

some criticise my lack of paragraphs and image descriptions as something adhd/visually impaired people need, but 1) I'm both, describing is hard for me, and 2) schizo, thought disorder, ocd, various issues make it near impossible for me often, just like you reading that, so just leave my posts alone, go elsewhere. variety. thoughts don't come clearly to me, it's a disjointed mess, and so ridiculous that people expect me to just "do better" and write for whatever way they find easier to read- that'd take literally hours. nothing here is "an excuse", this isn't word games, there's not an ulterior motive, get out of that mindset bro. people are like "your excuses don't make it okay not to accomodate my adhd" - idgaf. symptoms of yours don't mean I can overcome my symptoms. I shouldn't have to keep saying this but variety solves all of these. nowhere did I say allergies get respect/gay people have it worse compared to ace people/terminal people should be thought of literally every time you make a post/etc - I said be nice. bet that doesn't reflect whatever wild interpretations will fill these notes. wouldn't surprise me if somebody is saying I said there's not any cringe or toxic aro people, or that I'm erasing how exclusionists harmed ace people by equating some lame opinions with sheer incomprehensible levels of attack online (I never equated shit in these points, comparable and identical are just not synonyms).

something I think people need to learn is that just because your bullies have been calling you short, doesn't mean they don't call somebody else a tree or ask them how the weather is up there. I understand asexuals are mocked for not being sexual, despite it being the case that I'm mocked for being that; I'm mocked that thoughts naturally come in a disjointed spew, and I simply can't comprehend well enough to edit anything, but I understand you struggle to read that; I need posts that don't talk about better as synonymous with deserving, you need posts that have literally a complete lack of any indication things won't get better for you, I understand how your mind can spiral when you see such things. segmenting our communities further for ultra specficity isn't an answer though, that's isolating - really humans need each other. basically, liking twinks is not accepted just because fat guys are generally viewed as gross by society, so is any gay sex, that's all. whether you like either, we still all like dudes, we shouldn't split.

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

my obsession with Aspects of Love is actually so out of hand and literally nobody knows, likes, or cares about this musical. but its MY tumblr blog and I get to choose the posts i make so heres a list of my favorite moments in aspects of love anyway

"rose it's not the views or the vines that keep me here" just. musically

and then "when the world was a playground all train rides and laughter and love in the morning and armagnac after"

"tell me are you still shooting women" "do you dance with women of your own age?" fuck him UP GIULIETTA

actually the entirety of hand me the wine and the dice

actually everything giulietta has done ever in her life

"and now i claim my best man's rIGHT!!!"

the journey of a lifetime melody playing right before seeing is believing

every repetition of the love changes everything melody, but specifically the one at the end of other pleasures

rose showing up at giulietta's studios in venice ready to steal back her man and then being like "oh wait giulietta's amazing and im a little bit gay" in the book she outright says to george "well i think im in love with your friend" and hes like "cool"

the first man you remember. the entire thing. the very fIIIIIIIIRST

"just promise one thing" "alright what is it" "dont ask me questions you must promise first" "i cant i dont know what it is" "dONT LEEEEEEEEEAVE MEEEEEEEEEE"

and then he fuckin wALKS AWAY

god bless, i love anything but lonely and its like the only scene that you can find shitty videos of on youtube

"ya girlfriends gonna love that donkey"

"(youll be her hero)"

"and my story is oLDER than the stars"

the buildup at the beginning of journey of a lifetime

marcel being a supportive bestie

and specifically rose shooing away hugo after the funeral and then marcel showing up and her letting him stay. i think hes one of the only people she actually cares about she just doesnt know it

"come on show me a smile" ough

the absolutely unhinged yelling before alex shoots rose. "if i cant have you NO ONE WILL killing you would be a PLEASURE" "PULL THE TRIGGER SEE IF I CARE" "you never loved me you never meant it AND NOW YOU HATE ME" "GO ON SOLDIER BE A HERO"

"rose id never harm the girl" "you were once prepared to do a lot of harm to me" TELL HIM ROSE

jenny pulling out the "pas de tendresse et pas de joie loin d'ici loin de toi" at alex and hes like ???????????????

"youre a delinquent a silly schoolboy with a GUN"

shed be far better of with you makes me giggle "you don't cheat at croquet"

when i read the book my heart just jumped whenever there was an exactly quoted line or nearly exactly quoted. the first one i found was "if i'm not very nice to you it's because i have things to worry me but thanks for the flowers every night" and nearly giuliettas whole speech at the beginning of hand me the wine and the dice is a direct quote

also a memory of a happy moment is a rough translation of a french phrase they keep repeating in the book at roughly the same moments that that melody/phrase repeats in the musical. its "un souvenir leger pour toi" "a sweet memory for you"

"my darling george i love you how dramatic can you be"

this is entirely a book thing and not a musical thing. but. in the book. rose speaks very little english and while all the dialogue is written in english, its noted that usually it's actually being spoken in french. which makes sense bc yknow....shes french............but anyway during either the scene at the cafe where she meets alex or possibly on the train, it's noted during one of the sentences she says to alex that he blushed because iT WAS THE FIRST TIME SHED USED TU INSTEAD OF VOUS FOR HIM and i was like. sobbing. french grammar romance. thats so cringe i love it. "oooo im gonna flirt with you by using the informal you"

just the fact that the scene when alex comes back to see rose in her super successful show completely mirrors the start of the musical when he first meets her. "hugo be a dear and get our guest an armagnac" "are you sure you want me to accept? very well then i ACCEPT" "i must have been the only one who didnt throw you roses"

in the book the house at pau is called "les pervenches" and pervenches are periwinkle flowers!!!!

listen like. the scene where they move george to sit by the fire so they can lie to jenny about how he died is like somber and ominous in the musical, with the music matching that vibe, but in the book it just ends up (possibly accidentally) being kind of funny bc rose, alex, and hugo drag his body into their room and then are like "fuck what do we tell jenny"

"one cup of fresh coffee buys two kisses"

giulietta and george's friendship honestly

the fact that giulietta is the one person who is reasonable and not bitter about things. the fact that when george is like "me n rose are over its me n you now" shes like "lmao no its not ur in love with rose and thats cool"

and i love that she was the best man at their wedding. i think marcel was rose's maid of honor. i think marcel and giulietta would get along they have their heads screwed on right

and then i love that he had her speak at his funeral. and he was right about it. george was like "i want my funeral to be a Ragin Good Time" and giulietta was the only person who understood this assignment

right this post is so long and its gonna be over now but the point is. i love this musical and if anyone else likes it at all please talk to me lol

[jack-casketeteer909]

Sorry this is so long I had just thinking about this a lot and had to get it off my chest.

Let me make this clear, I don’t like little kids. They’re loud, they don’t understand personal space, they’re always sick, etc. Does that give me a valid reason to be an asshole to them? No the fuck it does not. I don’t care how much you hate kids, if you’re purposefully being an asshole to someone just for being younger than you and not having a level of understanding of the world around them the way you do, then I have some news for you. You’re an asshole. Kids, as annoying as they may be sometimes, are PEOPLE. Like real, living, breathing, autonomous, individuals with their own unique ways of thinking. And it is crucial that you respect that. 

I was at a Halloween event several months ago where there were lots of kids, and I was not happy about the way they approached people. They were loud, obnoxious, and did not respect people’s boundaries even after you’d tell them to leave you alone. However, they were only behaving this way because their parents allowed it. The parents at this event were being negligent, whiny little pricks who would rather drink beer until midnight than parent their fucking kids. You know, like they are OBLIGATED TO DO. So naturally, I wasn’t nearly as angry at the kids more so than I was at the parents. I showed them respect and talked to them like they were adults, not making them feel like they were stupid. When I understood the only reason they acted the way they did was because of their brainless parents, it was a lot easier to talk to them without this feeling of “oh my god get me the fuck out of here right now.” I was one of the only other teens at the party who treated the little ones this way, which I do not blame the other teens there for. We are not obligated to parent your kids. But because I had shown them just a basic level of respect, I was one of (if not *the* only one) they showed respect to. One kid in particular was really fascinated with my costume and thought it was so cool that I had hand made a Funtime Foxy cosplay for the occasion. This kid that was rough-housing and intruding on everybody else, was politely calming down and just talking with me, and really seemed to enjoy it. He was talking about his different ideas for costumes he thought I would enjoy making in the future, he didn’t talk with anyone else this way. “Oh yeah and (character) would be really cool! Because all the little details in (physical characteristic) would be a nice challenge to try to recreate and it would look so cool! You could use this (material,)” etc. 

My point is, you often underestimate the impact your actions and words have on people, especially those who are still learning about, and trying to get a grip on the world around them. I’m not saying you’re obligated to parent somebody else’s kid, but for the love of all things good, just be nice to them. Often when you show kids some basic respect and don’t make them feel like they’re “lesser” than you, or “stupid,” they’ll often reciprocate that respect. It pays to just use some common sense and treat people with some basic respect. You don’t have to like kids to not be a jerk to them. 

People who want to be parents, you better treat your kids like they are the most precious things in the world. If you don’t light up with joy when you think of raising kids, then don’t. If you’re considering having kids make sure you are in a place where you can financially and emotionally support them and yourself perfectly well, and make sure this is absolutely what you want. Nobody’s kid should ever have to feel unwanted. That is the most crushing, painful feeling in the world. So really make sure you are going to be there for them, 100% of the way, and make them feel loved and appreciated. You might have created them, or adopted them, but that doesn’t mean you should take them for granted. They didn’t ask to be born and they don’t owe you a thing. Have kids because you love them, because they complete your family, because your world is so much brighter with them in it, because you are willing to leave this world with one or more happy people than it had before.

Parents, your kids are not an extension of you. NEVER, take them for granted. You will never understand what they are going through, ever. No matter how hard you try. You physically cannot protect them from everything. You’ll only hurt them more if you try. The best thing you can do is reassure them that you WILL be there to support them. Instead of taking away the things that bring them happiness and motivation because they got a bad grade, congratulate them for trying their best. And remind them that their grades aren’t as important as their lives. If your kid is trying their best, which in almost all cases they are, and they come home with a bad grade, that says more about the teacher’s ability to teach than it does your kid’s ability to learn. If you wanna mess your kid up forever and cut them off from their friends because of a number on their paper, then don’t you dare mourn them when you are the reason they disappear. All kids deserve parents, very few parents actually deserve kids.

Kids are people. Treat them as such, for fucks sake. Never take life for granted, no matter how old or young that life may be. 

[eboshishusbandwinkwink]

Please read this :)

You don't have to interact much. Please just read it...

It's long as shit tho

Big ass TW: Mental health issues and trauma

This week, I did not get shit done tbh. But in my opinion, that's okay. I feel like absolute dog shit at the moment, and that's okay. Like... My partner broke up with me, my bed broke, and I just recently started taking medication again. My school year is starting soon, and I'm currently trying to find work. On top of all that my gender dysphoria is fucking me over like I asked for it. You don't have to be optimistic constantly. I'm not either. So what? It happens.

Life isn't pretty. Nobody is perfect. If you see posts on social media, ask yourself if this person you're seeing is a robot or human. They're most certainly human so if they have a bad day, no matter how famous they are, don't blame them. It happens to everyone.

My ADHD and BPD mess with my head every single day. My anti depressants are doing their job very slowly since my body has to get used to them again and everything feels like it's going to shit right now.

The only ones actively giving me affection are my sister and my pets. Some of you might be able to imagine how that feels.

To me, it's funny how writing such a simple post can help me. I don't eben want pity. If you read this and say nothing, I'll be happy.

I just need to get this off my chest because I only have two people who ALWAYS listen and I feel like I'm ALWAYS complaining to them.

So this time, I'm going to turn to the internet. I'm turning to the one place that has never disappointed me and never hurt me.

As long as SOMEONE SOMEWHERE in this world sees this post and thinks to themselves "Oh... That's how they feel. Hey... I relate to that! I'm not alone." I'm happy. I want nothing else.

I want to show people that they are not alone. That they are valid and that they are loved.

I don't feel it right now, but somewhere 9ut there someone who loves me. Maybe it's someone I know. Maybe it's someone I have yet to meet. Or maybe it's someone I haven't talked to in a few years. I don't know!

But that's okay. I don't need to know. Because even in my darkest days, there's at least one person who will willingly hold me in their arms and make sure that I know my worth.

I'm scared, to be nicely honest. Scared of letting my walls down and letting people see who I am. And yet I can't keel those walls up the moment someone validates anything I do.

You're cool with me being trans? I love you.

You think my trauma is valid? I will do anything for you.

You listen to me talk about my hyperfixations? You're my new favorite person.

But that has so many downsides.

What if you leave? What if you stop validating me? What if you say something that makes me scared to talk?

All those things are thoughts I have daily.

Don't be too loud. But don't be too quiet! Don't be too smart. But don't be too dumb either! Don't be too slow, but God forbid you're too fast! Don't be too open. But don't be too closed off! Don't be too small. Don't be too big. Don't act too old. Don't act too young. Don't be too ugly. Don't be too pretty. Don't eat too much. Don't eat too little. Don't ask for everything. But ask for SOMETHING. Don't listen to everything they say. But you have to listen to a lot that they say.

But what for?

All it does is make me unhappy. All it does is hurt me.

"Mom, I want to go to that school."

"But this school is better."

"Dad, I'm a pegan, not Christian."

"Anything that isn't Christian is wrong."

"(Sister name), I'm hurt that my gf left me."

"That's because you don't understand her point."

Whats happening? Why is everything I think or feel being questioned?

Are you sure you're trans? Are you sure you're not straight? You're too young to know. But we accept you! Go to therapy, so they get that out of your head. Why go to therapy? It won't help you anyway. It never has! You're a helpless case. Why are you so lazy?

You can always talk to me! What? Do you feel sad? Cmon, it's not that big of a deal. It doesn't matter anyway. Just move on. You hurt yourself? How dare you! I'll send you away if you continue. Oh? Do you feel i don't show enough emotion? So I'm a bad parent? Alright. If that's the case? Then leave. Wait, you're leaving? No, come back!

I hate this. I hate it more than anything. I don't know who I am. I don't know who I used to be.

Am I weird? Am I ill? Or am I just insane? Perhaps I've gone insane.

Considering the thoughts I gave regarding me and my family, I'm definitely insane. And I'm too scared to talk to a therapist too.

Why? Simple.

My first therapist wasn't even for mental health and decided I was just weird cuz of my parents divorce.

My next therapist invalidated me having trauma and treated me like a fucking toddler.

My third therapist was just making me feel uncomfortable.

My fourth therapist said it was my fault that my parents treated me the way they dad and said I never god SAd since I "can't fully describe it" after I said I'm too scared to say it out loud.

Then I finally thought it get a diagnosis in the Mental hospital but no. They said I was too young (I'm 19, was 18 at the time) to get a fucking diagnosis bc my "personality isn't fully set yet"

NO SHIT BITCH. I DON'T HAVE ONE. And if this fucking keeps going I never fucking will.

My hands are fucking shaking as I'm writing this and I feel bad bc all my followers will read this and think "pub it's another ST hc/story".

I'm sorry, guys. I'm trying to be productive. I'm trying to do a good job.

I wish I was good enough.

I'm sorry I'm not. I'm sorry I'm not the writer you'd like me to be. I'm sorry I'm not the child my parents wanted me to be. I'm sorry I'm not he brother I'm siblings would've loved me to be. And I'm sorry I was never the student that my teachers wanted me to be.

I just wasn't in a good place. And I'm still not.

[wri0thesley]

thank you for infecting me with total naoya brain rot, nat. can i request a breeding kink scenario with him and curvy, thick reader that he thinks looks perfect for bearing him an heir 👀 feel free to make him as nasty as you want, i love to read about this absolute trash fire of a man

Covet - Naoya x Fem!Reader (3.6k)

Naoya wants something from you - you see a chance to get something you want too.

warnings: afab reader, fem pronouns. breeding. power imbalance (reader is a maid at the zen’in estate). talk of pregnancy, knives, misogyny, fingering, coming inside/creampies. the mandatory warning that this fic is about naoya.

You are fairly certain that Naoya Zenin does not know whether you exist. If he has ever noticed you attending to your duties, so much lower and less important than he, he probably doesn’t like you.

At least, you did not think he liked you before this moment. Even now, with his hands on your hips and your body pressed flush against the wall outside his chambers, you’re not certain – there’s a weight to the way he’s holding you, a twist to his lips that you can see from where your cheek has met cool wallpaper. He looks like he’s considering you; sizing you up.

Your cheeks burn as he sizes up your lower half, eyes tracing your hips and ass and thighs without even a hint of remorse, as if it’s his god-given right to look upon you like this even though you’ve barely ever spoken more than a cursory polite; ‘I brought you this, Sir’. That’s what you’ve been taught to do.

Be respectful, stick to the shadows, do what you’re told. It’s an honour to serve the Zenin clan, it’s an honour to be here in the estate – it’s an honour to get a brief moment of any of their time, even if they’re just making demands on you. You sometimes hate yourself, for not being born one of them - you want, you want, you want, like a physical ache. The luxury. The nice treatment. People to think that you merely blessing them with a look is an honour--

It’s an especial honour to be worth Naoya’s time – everybody knows that he’s going to be the next leader. There are always rumours buzzing around the grounds about him; about his power, about his temper, about his personality . . . about which pretty young woman he’ll make his wife and have beside him to rule the clan.

You’re brought back to what’s currently happening by his hands sliding down from where he is clinging onto your hips, generously tracing the curve, admiring just how broad they are.

“Pity you have to hide beneath that,” he says, smirking. Your cheeks are hot. “You’re pretty, you know. At least. . .” One hand moves from your hip, thumb and forefinger squeezing your cheeks to turn them more thoroughly towards him. He looks entirely unruffled by the situation, every inch of him at ease that you will bend to what he wants. “Your body is pretty.” Eyes scan over your face, and you’re suddenly aware of every imperfection, every feature you’ve ever scrutinised. “Hm. Not bad either.”

“I . . . I don’t understand,” You find yourself breathing. He raises one elegant eyebrow. The hand that’s on your hip moves, tracing the plush of your ass through fabric, his lip curling into a smirk. He presses a little bit forward and you feel something stiff press against your other cheek (the one not occupied by his hand) – and your throat goes dry as you realise precisely what he means.

Oh.

Oh.

You should run. Good girls do not do what Naoya wants you to do. You have duties to attend to! You have things that must be done, lest your seniors sigh and tut at you and punish you for neglecting your work. But your throat is very dry and your heart is pounding and there is suddenly a strange twist of heat low in your gut, as Naoya Zenin looks down at you with the air of a man who will devour you if you let him.

You can’t deny it’s thrilling to be wanted – more thrilling to be wanted by someone like him.

“I’ll give you ten seconds,” he says, and his tone is patronising. “If you don’t want me to take you to bed and fuck you, I suggest you make yourself scarce.”

He says it so openly, so brazenly – you suppose that’s what comes of being born into this family. He has nothing to fear in these walls. Not like you.

You imagine yourself underneath him for a second, his hair in disarray, hakama abandoned, his perfectly composed face twisted in pleasure. You should not go to his bed. But . . . you want to. And don’t you deserve something you want, when you’ve spent your entire life watching other people enjoy it?

“You don’t need to,” you breathe, swallowing. Naoya pulls back in amusement, his eyes darkening. He seems so much taller and stronger than you. Even swathed in fabric, it’s clear that there is muscle and strength beneath the clothes. He has been trained to within an inch of his life since the day he was born. He makes a considering noise in the back of his throat. A thumb trails over your cheek.

“Are you sure about that?” The smirk in his voice says that he knows you are. “I won’t be gentle with you, you know. I don’t have all day to romance you. I just want to get you on your back . . .” His thumb slides over your jawline, past your earlobe, until he’s taken a hank of your hair and yanks it back roughly, exposing your throat and making you gasp. “And fuck a son into you.”

He must see the look on your face, because he laughs, the sound cruel even to your ears. He’s still pressed so close to you. Nobody who walked down this hallway would mistake the embrace the two of you were currently in for anything clandestine. You suppose he has nothing to worry about – but your reputation? He’d ruin you for marriage.

“Come on,” he murmurs, chuckling. “Have you seen yourself? You’re made for bearing a child, sweetheart.” The pet name is almost mocking, but your heart skips a beat anyway. “Don’t worry too much. You don’t think I could take care of you, if you carried my heir? You’re a servant, right? You already know how to behave.” His smile is like a wolf. “So, I give you my word that if it takes, I’ll take care of you. Sounds fair, huh?” He jerks on your hair again. “Ten seconds,” he reminds you. “If you want to get out of it. You don’t think there are girls lining up around the block to have me?”

(Judging by the whispers about him, you actually don’t think there are – but judging from Naoya’s eyes, he certainly thinks so.)

He lets go. He steps back. His eyes are still on you, but he raises his arms either side of him as if to show you that you’re free to go. And you do consider it – you let the possibility of running flicker through your head. It’s quickly replaced by the thought of Naoya on top of you, an end to the aching between your legs, and the knowledge of just how you might be treated if Naoya did succeed in his mission.

It’s fine to want nice things, every once in a while.

“Five,” he says, warningly, but his eyes are dark with hunger. “Four. Three.”

You turn towards his bedroom door and grasp the handle, and he laughs, the sound very loud.

“Oh,” he says, “so you’re going to be fun.”

The minute his bedroom door clicks behind him, Naoya wastes no time on being on you. He’s full throttle, immediately – hands pulling at your clothes, rough, his mouth on your neck. He avoids your mouth, like he doesn’t quite want to kiss you – but as you bite back a moan as he nips at your throat and he groans in response at the noise, you realise that he wants to hear you.

Figures a man like that wants the reassurance that you’re enjoying yourself. Figures he wants to crow over every whimper that drops from your lips. Hands pull at your kimono, almost ripping it in his hurry to have the fabric out of his way and on the floor. You barely even notice he’s been pushing you across the room until you’re pushed hard down, and your back meets pillows and sheets instead of the floor.

The way you fall makes a perfect tableaux; the material of your outfit pooling around you, your body in the middle of it, clad in only your underwear. His light eyes rake over you hungrily.

“Fuck,” he says. His hands immediately go to your hips, thumbs pressing hard into the soft flesh. You barely fit in his hands, the curve of you dramatic. “You’re going to be perfect for this, huh? Look at you. It’s a fucking shame you’re not knocked up right now--”

Your body reacts to his touch and his look, though you can’t help but be embarrassed by it – it’s one thing to be entranced by someone pretty, you think, but it’s another thing to be entranced by the idea of how pretty someone will look when their stomach is swollen and their breasts have swelled and their hips have filled out because they’re bearing your child.

He doesn’t bother with unclipping your bra. He reaches into his hakama and panic flashes before your eyes when he pulls out a knife, but he uses it merely to slice the gore between your bra cups, right between the cute bow adorning them.

“I—I liked that,” you say, but your voice sounds very wobbly in the room, under Naoya’s gaze, under his hands. He snorts.

“I like you better without it,” he says shortly, as if your likes and dislikes are not a consideration to be taken into account. For him, you suppose they’re not. “Besides.” Hands travel from your hips to cup your breasts, squeezing the meat of the mounds so that you groan and arch your back, desire pooling between your legs. “I wanted to see these. I wanted to touch them.” He grins. “I wanted to imagine how nice they’re going to look when they get bigger.”

He squeezes the point of each of your nipples, so hard that the pleasure almost becomes pain.

“I think I’ll leave marks on you,” he says, conversationally. He pulls an arm back and suddenly has slapped you, your breast stinging, a brief imprint of his hand showing on your skin. He admires how your breast moves with the force – you’re too surprised to even make a noise of pain. “Good girl. I want you to remember how I feel when we’re done.”

You don’t think you could forget. You definitely can’t forget the sting of the second slap, this one making you moan – it hurts, but part of it feels good to be marked by him. You definitely can’t forget his thumbs hooking into your underwear, dragging it past your thighs – the way that he drinks in the wet patch on the fabric. You definitely don’t think you’ll be able to forget the chuckle that leaves his mouth as he spreads your thighs and sees your sex for the first time, already slick.

“You like being treated rough, huh?” He asks you. There’s that grin again; a predator, a man who has never been told no, a man who doesn’t know what it’s like to not have everything he has ever wanted at his fingertips. “Good. I like playing rough.”

He still doesn’t kiss you. He dives his head down, though, his teeth once more nipping at your neck, at your breast, tongue lathing across your nipples. One of his hand delves between your legs, spreading the plump labia, fingers briefly stroking your clit and sending a hot bolt of lightning all through you.

“That’s right,” he murmurs, as he pushes a finger inside of you. You’re slick and tight around his digits, hot and silky – one of his fingers alone is like a vice. You’re going to feel so good. He doesn’t much care whether his cock hurts you or not – but he wants you to be so fucked out by the time he’s come inside you that you don’t care about him leaving your legs propped up so not a single trickle of come leaks out of you. He doesn’t want a whimpering little bitch in his bed – he wants someone who’ll lie there, patiently, prettily, and let him make sure it takes.

You’re going to be good for that, he knows it. With a body like that, and eyes like that, and a clear longing for something better than the shitty hand you’ve been dealt? Oh, yes. You might not know it, but Naoya likes you immensely.

That you’re a servant, who’s been taught your place - that you’ll look at the ground respectfully and walk behind him and agree to whatever he says, like women should? Even better. Perfect. Fuck any of those snooty young women of a clan who think that just because they were born with a name, they were somehow more than a cunt for breeding--

Two fingers. This one gets a cry from you, almost too full – Naoya clicks his tongue against his teeth. He’s not patient, but he slows down, scissoring you open. One of your hands seems to flex out as if going to grab his bicep – but thinks better of it, clutching for purchase on the bed instead. Cute.

He can’t help but watch his fingers dive in and out of you, already coated in your liberal slick. They already look so good – he can’t even imagine how good his cock will look, hilted so deep in you he’s all you can feel.

Three fingers. You’re making soft little noises, circling your hips – there’s a coil in your belly that Naoya’s fingers are stoking in a way you didn’t expect, one that you feel like you’re so close to getting to spring forth – he slides his fingers out of you as he feels you tightening and tensing around him. If you’re close enough to come on his fingers, he reasons, you’re close enough to take his cock.

He didn’t expect to be so entranced by how pretty you looked, all curves and soft on his bed – but there’s time for that later. Right now, his cock is driving a hole through his own underwear. The thought of fucking his seed into you, of having you coming around his cock . . . you moan in frustration at the lack of stimulation as his hands busy themselves peeling off his own clothes.

“What’s the matter?” He asks you, a little breathless. You don’t notice that – good. He hates people witnessing weakness. “You need to be filled up?”

“I—” your teeth dig into your bottom lip, and Naoya has the urge to kiss you that he pushes back.

Not now. Not yet. Not while you’re still scum. He can transform you, and maybe you’ll be worthy of that – but right now, you’re an empty shell, and Naoya needs to mould you into something fuller and better before he’ll lower himself to brush his lips over your own. That’s too intimate. That’s too much.

“You don’t need to use your words,” he purrs. “You’re soaking wet.”

You urge your thighs further apart as Naoya’s clothes slip off of him and you see his cock jutting proud against his stomach. You haven’t had much experience to know whether it’s a nice cock, whether he’s big – but Naoya grins when he sees you looking, ferocity sparking in his expression.

“You may as well look at it,” he tells you, “because it’s going to be buried inside you in just a moment--”

He’s on the bed, his body on top of yours. His hands are clinging to the hips he’s admired so much, his grip tight enough to mark. His face is close enough that you can see the sculpt of his lips and the fan of his eyelashes, the dark pupils. The wet head of his cock smears precome on your thigh as he positions himself at your entrance – and as he sinks inside, your body welcomes him.

He hisses in fluid pleasure as his cock descends inside of you inch by slow, inexorable inch – the stretch, the burn, the slick fluid pleasure. This time, one of your hands does find purchase on his shoulder – but Naoya is enjoying the feeling of your walls kissing his cock, embracing him tight and deep, too much to snap at you for being such an insolent thing. Your nails leave little crescent moon marks in his shoulder that he decides to forgive. After all – you’ll have bruises in the shape of his handprints tomorrow, he knows it. He doesn’t have a single crumb of shame about it.

If he gets his way, you’ll have more than just those as a mark of tonight. He hilts inside you, his skin pressing hot against yours. You’re so full – he feels so very deep, buried as far as he can go. All of your breath has been knocked out of you.

Your eyes meet his for just a moment.

“Better hold on,” he tells you. “I told you I wouldn’t be gentle.”

The first pull out is swift, immediately thrusting back inside you with such force that your body rocks on the bed. He wasn’t lying about not being gentle; his hips quickly establish a punishing rhythm, helped along by the slick glide of your channel, the wetness leaking around his cock. He pulls you a little with every thrust, the hands on his hips assisting him being able to watch his cock drive in and out of your sex. It’s a mark of the strength he has that the only sign that you weigh anything at all is a huff of breath in between his thrusts – you’ve never exactly felt delicate  in your life, but something about Naoya’s way of handling you makes you think that he could break you in half if he tried.

That is, if his rough thrusts in and out of you don’t split you in two first. You give up trying to do anything other than hold onto him, your mouth dropping open in a series of wordless wails and moans.

(Naoya prefers quiet women, he has to admit – but there’s something endearing about you giving up in bed, giving yourself to him in voice as well as body. Perhaps he doesn’t mind a loud woman, as long as the reason she’s loud is because he’s fucking her silly).

His skin slaps against your skin. The sound mixes with your own whimpers and gasps, Naoya’s quieter breathing, the embarrassingly wet sounds of his cock plunging in and out of you. The release that was denied to you earlier with his fingers is creeping back up on you again, all hot pleasure and tight tension. With every thrust, Naoya is hitting a spot amongst your plush walls that has your eyes rolling back in your head and your body all hot and needy. He doesn’t care if you come, really – this isn’t about you – but . . . just another of those things he supposes he could get used to, as the ball of pleasure inside of you finally unravels and you feel yourself come.

And oh, he could get used to that feeling too – how your walls pulsate around him, pulling his cock tighter inside of you, practically milking him. His hips just get faster, snapping against you like a man possessed – heh. Isn’t that funny?

Your chest is heaving, but he’s enjoying the feel of your hips too much to play with your tits again. When they’re all swollen with milk and bigger and rounder, he’ll probably fuck you again, slower . . . and then, he’ll get his feel of touching them. Just like he’ll get his feel of your thighs even plusher, your stomach rounder, your hips even better in his grip--

It’s those thoughts that push him over the edge. Your body softened and rounded with his child – his son, his heir. You’re fucking perfect for it. He groans, his hips snapping and driving so deep inside you that you think he’ll break – and then, he’s groaning, and his cock is pulsing inside you as the sensation of his come painting your walls hot and thick overtakes your senses.

He pumps his cock a few more times inside of you after the initial release, as if he’s trying to push his seed even further within you. You’re shuddering, exhausted, your body aching – and so, you don’t argue beyond a soft noise of pain at the unpleasant prickle as he pulls his cock out of you. You don’t argue when he slides a pillow beneath your hips and says;

“Keep your legs bent like that.”

Naoya takes a moment to admire you. Your pretty cunt is darkened from his aggressive fucking, clit swollen, slick with your own desire-- he frowns as he notices a drop of something whiter and thicker. That won’t do. Two fingers roughly push his come back into you, pressing it deeply, making you groan and your hips weakly thrust against them.

It’s cute that you’re still welcoming to his fingers; that your sex still sucks them in as if it’s greedy to be fucked again. Your eyes are half-lidded, glassy – your lips bitten dark. He thinks he could fuck you again and you wouldn’t even complain.

Yes. He grins at you. Give it a little while, to make sure his come takes – and then, he thinks, he will fuck you again. There’s no harm in being thorough, right?

[sugar-petals]

🌹 Sub!SuperM 18+ HC: Riding Their Faces

↳ NOTE. These guys... I swear. Bringing some heat to the dash right here. Enjoy the SuperMadness 👀

word count. 3.7k | bullet points | ot7

WARNINGS. ⚠️  all explicit, cum play, latex, hair & sweat kink, bondage, spit, brat taming, toys, breath play, ass fixation going strong, dominant reader, femdom, degradation, hardcore, veins kink, graphic language, strap-ons, crying kink, clothed sex, some crack

⌜ 💋  byun baekhyun ⌟

▸ strength: energy

not for the faint of heart. baekhyun thoroughly enjoys you giving it to him roughly; it’s the leader being led, how sexy is that

i spy with my femdom eye, baekhyun likes the bossy dommes who bring him to his knees — quite literally.

case in point: hates seeing you hold back. tells you to just bounce on him how you want it. no fumbling around, it’s gotta be hot and proper.

whatever you’re insecure about he hasn’t even noticed. the more confidently you’re taking your designated seat, the better. this shit’s gotta make him all loud and squeaky, baekhyun can’t get enough of your wild and demanding side. “don’t you dare move your hands!” — he’s already hooked.

yep, he’s part of the feral squad. and louder than the bass in jopping for that matter

small as hell face but the jaw is sharp, you can literally feel it, he fits between your legs so well

endless breath. put your pussy all over that nose, grind on it, cum all over him. society will thank you for suffocating a millionaire

like seriously the breath play is off the charts. if he’s into asphyxiation you’d not be surprised

meanwile baek’s naughty hips keep on bucking, like hello there, giving you a cheeky 69 invitation

such a cocky little shit, whiny byun all the way from those ruined orgasms he’ll be getting cuz you might just touch him with two fingers at best, you know how to keep him on his toes

swallows everything he’s like whatever, almost chokes because he’s so messy and greedy to taste you. damn baekhyun

does a “mmhhhnnn...!” sound all the time, this guy has pussy all over his face and is still more vocal than you no matter what you do

eats ass, all day if he can, knows the most shocking techniques, wants to get crushed by booty he’ll end up admitting it. no matter how big or small yours is. because remember, that face is small, everything is big to him

the type to cum on his stomach way before you do. groans a lot, then goes on even more intensely, how the hell did he just leak out five ounces of semen and still manage a whole tongue workout

slobbery and all over the place, those are tongue movements you can’t even think of in your wildest dreams

baekhyun is never content just making you cum once or just really lowkey, much less hearing you being silent. he’s a moodmaker, he naturally wants to hear you, and see you twitch like the world ends for goodness sake

brattiest tongue ever, always pulls out the taunting puppy licks, tries to grope you all the time, he’ll get a rough spanking later believe me

also gets his payback from you being crazy wet, as beautiful and cute his face might be it’s gonna end up damn ruined

not gonna lie his voice acrobatics will turn you into a waterfall that’s coming down on him

you can punish him for teasing by going raw with your hips, mochi is in wonderland, seeing stars. put his wrists in a spreader bar and go off is what i’m saying, YOLO

since baekhyun annoys the members by being so hyper in the evening, they appreciate you knocking him out for sleep. and indeed baekhyun dozes like a baby, probably using your ass as a pillow or something

you’ve drained the shit out of him and um watered the flower that is his face, so

another cupcake down, mission success, baekhyun certainly had his fill not to mention lucky you having to deal with his wildly talented mouth ahem, moral of the story annihilate him with your ass

⌜ 💋  lee taemin ⌟

▸ strength: steaminess

you will come (heh) to discover that none of his lyrics were a lie

yeah he’s busy hot boy shit for his gal

taemin has an all-soft and plush tongue that’s super pinkish. it literally feels so good, how to ever get enough of it holy shit

it also happens to be very long so buckle up, he wants to be deep inside of you, serve and please you

probably the most slow and agile movement in the group, tantalizing is the right word for sure

prefers kissing and sucking over just licking because he’s sappy, good on him and good on you those lips are heaven and need to be used by all means

once you go on the pill, taemin will eat his own creampies straight out of you, maybe even two at once, it’s taemin c’mon he’s above-average horny lord knows how much sperm he’s hoarding

loves drowning it seems

raunchy stuff aside, he always dresses up nicely or wears the fluffy sweaters you like the most on him. what an exclusive ride, the scent of the clothing turns you on even more he’s pulling all the registers taemin is so docile and giggly

most sensual style in the group, will edge and give you goosebumps first before the main course even remotely goes down, taemin thinks in several stages hot damn he calculated this 

his face heats up so much it’s crazy, then again kkoongie capitalizes on all the warmth from the radiator so you might as well be taemin’s personal heating alright. it’s fun seeing him sweat like mad, see his neck veins bulge... ugh 

is gonna be a provocateur and try to nibble on your folds, man he just wants to get slapped around you can see right through this brat’s rowdy plan

might even want his ass played with while you ride his face so prepare for some intense contortions, fingering, butt plugs, prostate massage, the whole array, gladly taemin is flexible

always pulls it off hands-free because he’s a pro and well yeah he’s always tied up how um totally surprising

and any challenge he will meet that i guarantee you

he has immediately apparent shinee concert stamina, longevity like his career, taemin can lend his face to your purposes for the whole night he doesn’t care if he needs to chuck it in the freezer afterwards

bonus: if taemin doesn’t at some point wear one of his glittery masks for sexy time, somebody is probably impersonating him and it’s not the real lee taemin i’m afraid

so many orgasms you’ll stop counting, one blends into the other, even if you’re not moving much, how does he do it

that being said gee can we just appreciate how beautiful his face is, everything about him, it’s gonna be so sexy and soft to kiss him to sleep oh my god

⌜ 💋  kim jongin ⌟

▸ strength: escalating

just how industrious is he? dammit kai is the rent due or something, this shit is not a comeback stage cool down

jongin is needy as fuck, he’s desperate to taste you especially in the morning when his lips are all plump

since then he’s skipped his skin care routine you do the bulk of the moisturizing you see

jokes aside get ready for whimpery kai thrusting his face right into you because he can, should you need something to hold onto, his thighs are literally right there

constant high-pitched moans, some during quick pauses, others stifled, kai are you okay he’s really going all out 

so thirsty

if you don’t put a harness on him for this you’re missing out, also you need something to hold this wild slutty motherfucker in place

rock-hard throughout, harder than a goddamn superm choreography

also: sturdy chin that can take a lot, it’s made to be sat on

does a lot of the work, very active, main dancer vibes you know, you can be lazy and just enjoy

most continuous style in the group, gradually getting more and more passionate and nervous — the second you thought it gets boring he goes off, have fun losing your mind and seeing him basically K.O. himself

if he wants to make you cum, rapid tongue jabs deep into your clit, and his hard breath against it, no fair play in here

absolutely has a thing for your shaking thighs, like what the hell he’s blowing a huge load the more you tremble, and he’s goddamn crying from pleasure every time woah

those big ole lips are an absolute treat, yeah i’ll say it again his face is meant for this

wants to be called all kinds of names wow jongin, it just spurs him more

kai. is. so. good. 

you can most definitely film your own POV cam, jongin can put on one hell of a show. just this time it’s not his eyes flirting with the camera, it’s his tongue getting a nice rough treatment oh yum

don’t get me wrong he can deliver a romantic version of this, but kai just likes you being tough on his face he can’t deny it

uses his hands so you can ride him even harder, all his teddy bears will be falling off the bed like dominoes

might one day ascend to heaven while giving head, wouldn’t regret it

can do it until complete exhaustion you guys just pass out

being such an oral workaholic do i sense a masochist streak in him there? 

fucking typical capricorn

⌜ 💋  wong yukhei ⌟

▸ strength: appetite

first off yukhei is hilarious

it’s called eating out and that’s exactly what he does duh, he’s not nicknamed foodcas for no reason — the restaurant is open my dear, and he just served himself five courses (you)

gets super sweaty, forehead and down the neck, a 6′0 glazed bun can you imagine

giggles a lot, makes the atmosphere relaxed, loves banter before and after, an allround sweet experience

though beware, this guy is hungry. most prone to open his mouth super wide he wants to eat all of you at once

don’t tell kun how nasty he is, much less leader baekhyun, promise me that

and especially nosy kai should not hear about what sexy shit yukhei is doing in his freetime unless you want to trigger a war 

that being said the wayv dorm is still the safest place to sit on his face, so. it’s a lawless land there, nobody gives a fuck anymore at this point. yangyang would not even blink if ten murdered someone in cold blood on the balcony, that’s how the atmosphere there can be best described

lucas being a far more harmless himbo still ironically fits into the environment being so sexually insatiable, just how often are you going to fuck? it’s only natural to lose the overview

he loudly pouts and complains when it ends, wants to go on and on, you need a lotta stamina to get with this guy this is not a warning it’s a fact — yukhei really wants to tire himself out and give everything

if you lower your thighs just a little you can feel his dangly earrings. kinda sexy but also a safety concern i know i know, he’s not gonna wear them next time 

noisy as heck, wants to do well, always goes the extra mile to be sure you are all happy and satisfied with today’s dining

his tongue is... big...

we’re not gonna talk about that giant bulge either, such a huge tent in those pants it’s a whole camping ground. anyway

what we’ll talk about. his super soft blonde hair, we’re talking salon quality soft, that’s amazing to feel against your legs, it’s great to pull as well, or to twirl really playfully

though there’s not much playful going down when the initial inhibition drops

he’s not made of glass you can really get those hips going

sliding down his nose when you’re all wet... damn good stuff.

lucas is the kinda guy that has you grunting and gritting he loves your reactions, and how aggressive you can get. usually he’s the reaction king but like this? he can get used to it.

totally into having that kinda frog perspective it’s a whole new thing, he’s such a giant now he’s below you, the sight is just superb to him

less likely to have toys involved, but rather a bunch of rope for his chest, his arms, his long ass legs. yukhei is a bondage insider tip y’all

stable as a block of metal. if you go a little too wild on baekhyun he’s probably gonna break his mochi neck but lucas is a different calibre, this mf is made of giant muscles galore, i can only say one thing: finish him

⌜ 💋  mark lee ⌟

▸ strength: speed

talks a lot, even occasionally curses — instantly apologizing, but you curse right back, so this becomes the cussing olympics at some point, taeyong would bury his face in the ground all his parenting efforts have gone to waste

mark basically chokes himself

he can’t control his spit by all means jesus... in his own words: must be the drip then

next to taemin and baekhyun here we have the third drowning victim, mark is in serious need of multiple tissues or towels afterwards but that’s exactly what he likes

mark’s slutty side is not to be underestimated i’m warning you

that’s a healthy young man right here

loves to do quickies to get you off during daytime, if you’re horny just tell him and he’ll find a quiet spot, might do it on his knees rather than you riding him sometimes for practical reasons 

all options open, mark is flexible af. if someone can promote with nct dream and superm at the same time that’s the result

so yeah you’ll experiment with positions and even outfits, what’s the most comfortable to wear? 

few people even remotely think about this. mark himself stays in his signature sweater but the glasses come off, you know very well he’s a nerd without them he has nothing to prove lmao!

the clothes will be cozy but don’t let that fool you yet alright

this guy has watched too much porn to just keep it light and cute

don’t get me wrong you can baby him ad nauseam for the more gentle femdom moods

but at the end of the day mark loves some intense shit, he likes feisty girls who aren’t coy and subby, the more perverted you are the better, in fact he enjoys being shocked with brazen attitude and getting orders on what to do.

loves it when you to take it all out on him, rough is good. mark lee’s face is the rodeo range of super m alright, just don’t break his glorious jaw or anything, he still needs it okay

but yeah mark’s face is tempting to ride hard not gonna lie

his tongue can go so fast it’s at the speed of sound, no, the speed of fucking light. mark goes crazy on your clit, wait a few seconds, boom five orgasms rain down on you. 

it’s like an anime swordsman just lifting the sword hilt, walking off calmly, and one minute later things are in shambles like how? mark’s sword tech is just epic like that

he’s a leo what did we expect, show-off

in the meantime, RIP to mark lee’s pants. they’ll be soaked with cum, gonna be a bitch to hide your clothes from taeyong who’s always eager to wash everything by himself

that aside, mark really enjoys the position, he doesn’t need much else to be honest, he goes “oh my god oh shit” enough for you to know

thank god he’s a rapper, otherwise his dang technique would be dangerous, he doesn’t breathe for half a minute or so

enjoys you really doing shallow thrusts, super fast and sloppy, loves how much you enjoy it

needless to say: breaks a guinness world record for most licks per second, it’s that mark lee flow

long story short his face is your favorite spot he can prepare for a daily session

all that practice on water melons paid off good job markly

⌜ 💋  ten lee ⌟

▸ strength: allround skill

you know a pro by how he’s offering you a tall glass of water beforehand

and by the way he’s chugging one himself

champion, a keeper

you’re guaranteed to love it, ten is amazing

takes his time, gets to know your every inch, figures out your soft spots in a matter of minutes to seconds

everything for his sexy mama, service sub right here

take him on a leash, grind on his lips, make him kiss your clit, he’ll respond by circling his tongue around obediently

chittaphon might be a little fidgety at the beginning, but the atmosphere is not as tense anymore after doing it two or three times. 

ten is actually quite good cracking lighthearted jokes and showing his more extroverted side, he always gets like that with a partner. 

you have an easy time with build-up conversations and communicating in general, same with aftercare pillow talk

that being said the degree of professionalism this guy is heading for needs a lot of talk in the first place. 

ten likes doing advanced things that aren’t just intuitively understood, you need to exchange yourself a lot

through trial and error you figure out how to incorporate sex toys into the little routine you have going on

the pleasure will be so intense you’ll never want anything else fuck

ten is also down for a lot of moving around, some athletic shit

you’ll go from bouncing on his dick to smothering his face back and forth pretty much, let’s see how fast you’re gonna bust a huge nut like that my bet is five minutes

those like “oh... ah—” moans are just angelic

since he focuses so much on your erogenous zones and always keeps his hands involved, ten is always guaranteed to have you breaking a major sweat

ten does not like to eat any fruits, they say. well that’s true, because he’s too busy eating you that is. boy can basically retire from citizenhood, he’s that busy between your legs. 

enough fruit juice for an entire week impending, don’t worry about his nutrients, this is also a form of diet.

uses his chin, his cheeks, the nose especially, the damn nose it’s perfectly shaped

wants you to really ride him hard, and fast, no holds barred at all, going so feral he’ll be squeezing his eyes shut

sometimes his hair gets in the way, it’s just so damn long. the result: hair ties for face-sitting, always on his wrist

among all members, buries his face the deepest, turns him on so much

always makes sure you’re both washed up, no impromptu sessions. ten is a hygiene priest and he’s right

the mattress is kinda bouncy and he always uses his favorite soft pillow under his head so you can definitely take mister ten lee to pound town like work your hips give it to him

in case he survives i send my congrats, you got yourself the right guy, terrific choice queen

⌜ 💋  lee taeyong ⌟

▸ strength: ideas

how much more religiously can he eat you out, he treats this like the best reward he can get

as you can probably tell by now, all the lee surname members are definitely a certain brand and clan of highly distinguished pussy eaters like, these guys are a fucking gang like... well taeyong is no different

reckless abandon oral, eats you like it’s the last day, even death fears lee taeyong when he’s in giving head mode

you might be showering together beforehand and be all shy and kissy like it’s puppy love. but that is all for naught when the tongue of god is unleashed and taeyong gets himself as messed up as he can

yeah i like the thought of god being incarnated as kinky taeyong begging to have his mouth spit and cummed in it just makes sense

very deep mumbles, very hard breathing, those veiny hands on your waist, he wants to make you feel good so bad, fuck he’s so sexy

intense facial expressions, need i say more

also um... he likes to be... threatened. he’s the student you’re the teacher, strict as hell surveying his every move, the more you yell at him the harder he gets, jesus christ he has a thing for you acting mad and shit

taeyong doesn’t even need you to pull off your underwear, he’s gone get through any type of fabric with that leaking mouth

let’s just say he likes to experiment with innovative techniques... anyway, taeyong is a nasty fucking freak, he’s a grade A hoe, you never know what to expect

one time he just licks like a shy doe, the next second slurping explosion 5000

imagine whipping his thighs with a riding crop while sitting right on that ultra gorgeous elven prince face like

taeyong is almost always getting super emotional. he sheds even more tears than kai, like at some point you’ll develop a crying kink because of him SOS

nervous as hell, shaky hands. that can easily be fixed sir let’s tie em up

has you moaning nonstop, he’s so engaged and so dead-on with his movements. don’t be surprised if this damned man has your eyes almost falling out

beware, this guy is into full-on sensual deprivation as well. blindfolds are only the start. 

you might end up with a whole lotta black latex involved, who knows, a whole gimp on him he’s down for that, he learned from ten what it is blame chittaphon’s vast kinky knowledge

even better: while you’re grinding on him, taeyong likes you pumping his cock with a fleshlight with zero mercy until he yelps in tiny oops

hell he might ask you to roughly fuck his face with a strap and then ride it, the mister likes double treats huh

then again: wants it to be degrading and dirty and intense on some days, and really wholesome and romantic on others

especially aftercare will be sweet and dulcet, you take care of him, pepper him with kisses for being such a dutiful boy.

looks pretty no matter what. maybe he’s born with it maybe it’s tyongbelline. yeah just how handsome is that face and hair like... t’yongreal paris in full splendor

long story short he’s an oral deity. i rest my case howdy and goodbye see you next time aye

superm masterlist

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

[midasinc]

les amis and toxic traits (affectionate and derogatory):

-courfeyrac has a bad habit of being on his phone when he's with friends. he's mostly either just swiping through his dating app or texting someone on his dating app and he isn't aware that it's really rude. he's also really bad about borrowing money and not giving it back. if he asks for a couple euro for the metro, you will never get it back. he comes from a rich background and money is something that he forgets not everybody has. feuilly is the only one who holds him accountable for it because "i bought you a drink at the pub two weeks ago and you still owe me and i need to pay rent this week :/"

-enjolras is a pen clicker. oh. my god. he clicks pens at the speed of light and if someone asks him to stop, he'll apologize but then start again like thirty seconds later. it is so. fucking. annoying. also i love him but he's really self-righteous and won't admit when he's wrong. when someone has an opinion that differs his own, he can only see things in black or white. you're on his side, or you're wrong. this also applies to other's and their choices in what they do. he always donates the extra euro when he's checking out at a store for whatever donation project is going and if you don't he will give you the stink eye and publicly ask why you won't. no recyclable grocery bags? he will call you out and badger you until you buy one. you accidentally left the light on when you exited the room? oh my god. he has such good intentions but he forgets that not everybody might be as financially secure as him and not everybody is thinking about it at all times. he wants what's good for the world but it really gets on other people's nerves sometimes

-joly is really similar to enjolras in the sense that he calls people out for their health choices without thinking about their situation. he's getting better about it, but he has criticized grantaire to hell and back about all of his bad habits and not in a nice way. he's really harsh when someone is self-destructive or literally just picks like a soda at a restaurant over water. he wants his friends to be healthy but jesus fucking christ dude. no one asked for your opinion, now is not the time.

-feuilly only eats frozen meals. he only lives on lean cuisines. JEHBJWEHRWJH but also this dude smokes cigs a lot and forgets that smoke and tobacco makes some people feel sick or nauseated. he smokes in his apartment even when people are over and doesn't really think it's that big of a problem. enter: enjolras, who has asthma, and just walked through a cloud and starts hacking. anyway, he also gets really defensive when people call him out on it. it's his choice to smoke and whenever someone is like "hey maybe you might want to cut back" when he's buying a new pack of smokes after buying one three days before, he'll get super snappy and rude because it feels like an attack on him

-speaking of nicotine! jehan vapes and i have no room to speak on this subject bc let's not talk about my juul but they are in denial that it's also a problem. they're like "it's healthy shut up" but will go through pods so fast that it's genuinely comparable to feuilly's same bad habit. they started juuling bc they thought the flavours were yummy and it was cool and oh my god. jehan is also really blunt with their sense of humour and doesn't realize that not everybody thinks its funny. walking into a room and just being like "lmaoooo grantaire you look like shit today" and everybody is kind of like "...hm". combeferre is actually good about calling them out on that sort of stuff, though. if jehan realizes they're in the wrong, they'll apologize

-combeferre is. such. a fucking. movie talker. he just has so much to say at every minute of the movie and it's the worst (this is also me so self-roast). nobody likes to watch movies with him because "dude we just want to watch the fucking movie oh my god". he's also really pretentious and a gatekeeper. if you like the same band as him "oh really? well name three songs-" in a way that makes whoever he's feeling to feel stupid. combeferre really prides himself on his intellect, but it goes too far most of the time and it just comes across as super condescending and a lot of people get annoyed talking with him because it just feels like he's talking down at them the whole time

-marius is also super blunt but not in a way that's meant to be funny. he has absolutely walked into a room and gone "oh enjolras your haircut looks so bad im so sorry :(". and similarly to courfeyrac, he forgets the value of money. he's definitely asked people to go somewhere and has said like "yeah! the concert tickets are like 250 euro which is actually super cheap :)" and feuilly is just. dying inside. he intends to be nice, he just says so much stupid shit. he isn't purposely being a bad guy.

-bossuet never re-fills a roll of toilet paper if he's the last to use it. you do not know how annoying it is to room with this guy. grantaire has absolutely shouted "HOW HARD IS IT TO GRAB ANOTHER TUBE???" from the shitter and bossuet just denies it because it embarrasses him. he's also bad about cleaning dishes and will leave a cup in the sink for weeks if it isn't cleaned by someone else or threateningly left in front of his bedroom door. i love u bae but please clean up after yourself

-grantaire is the fucking worst. i love him but he is the worst. he is so self-deprecating to the point where a lot of people just won't be around him because you can only take so much self-pity before it becomes annoying as hell. he's never accepted a compliment and is one of those "omg no my art is so fucking ugly i hate it so much" when someone says they like a sketch or a painting he did and it is just. so annoying. he's also just super bad about caring about him self. baby forgets to shower and wash his hair and wear deodorant and it's like babe. baby. listen- we are not 13 year old boys anymore, we are men and we need to shower. take your zoloft and let's clean up your room <3

-bahorel is a babe but he's too rough with people. he'll slap someone on the back so hard that they choke on their drink. he's also bad about jokes going too far and just being kind of an asshole he'll snatch up something courfeyrac is holding and hold it up high and courf is 5'5 and bahorel is 6'3 and it is just unfair and unfunny and courfeyrac is not laughing and it just gets old so fast. he thinks people are having fun with him but baby they r not. everybody here is givin you the stink eye, just let the bit die