#gojo and nanami fit together so wellllllll

[ayyy-pee]

i'm just rambling some thoughts off at this point...but i think about nanami and gojo together a lot...

them finding solace and comfort in each other after losing the people who meant the most in the world to them. i imagine nanami withdrawing into himself after the loss of haibara and making the decision to leave jujutsu society as soon as he graduates.

satoru can't imagine living a life like that, the life of a normie. he's only ever known sorcery, doesn't have a choice but to live the life of a sorcerer. a blessing, and a curse to be the strongest.

but then he loses suguru, not just to suguru's madness, but he loses suguru to his own hand. he takes his life for the sake of humanity, because only he can. because he's the strongest.

nanami has given satoru space to mourn his love. he imagines it must be difficult to be the strongest, to have no other option than to keep moving forward because being stagnant means danger for them all. but he sees the quiet sorrow behind satoru's otherwise glowing eyes. and he understands him a little better now. because it’s the same sadness nanami recognizes in his own eyes when he sees his reflection.

nanami begins to come around campus more and check in on satoru. his presence is always welcome, though the visits are short because satoru can't help but be satoru. picking at what annoys nanami the most. little jabs here and there at nanami…but it does bring some semblence of normalcy between them. and though nanami'd never considered them friends as teens, as time goes on, the small drop ins become regular visits. the short walks to the dorms or train stations turn to dinners together after work. the small jabs from gojo, the incessant need to constantly fill the air with small talk...it slowly morphs into comfortable silence. just content to be together. it feels like friendship at first.

satoru enjoys nanami's company more than he could tell his colleague...he looks forward to his daily visits, to seeing that familiar frown line he’s grown accustomed to. he watches his students train and thinks about telling nanami about every little thing they've learned. in his downtime he's looking up the best new menu items at various restaurants around Tokyo. he knows nanami's a foodie. and he looks forward to hearing his rave (short and to the point) reviews about the meals he tries.

nanami also enjoys satoru's company more than he would care to admit, finding himself purchasing many sweet treats from bakeries when he had to travel out of town to exorcise a curse. he also missed satoru's company more than he would care to admit when he had to go on said trips.

they're not sure when exactly the air began to shift ever so slightly whenever they were in the room together. they're not sure when exactly the charge began to ripple between them the moment their cursed energy touched. neither could tell you when they began sitting a little closer in the teacher's lounge, when they began sharing the same side of their booth when they went to dinner. and they definitely couldn't tell you when the shy touches between them began.

and the touches were so small; a hand grazing the others as they strolled through the halls in conversation, their thighs brushing together as they sat and ate lunch on the courtyard benches…but the guilt they both felt was tremendous, gnawing away at them in ways neither could imagine. even after all these years.

“do you ever think about haibara?” satoru asks one afternoon as he walks the familiar path to the train station with nanami.

the question surprises nanami, their comfortable silence being broken by such a blunt question. but that's just satoru. nanami knows. he answers honestly.

“everyday,” he admits and satoru nods, trying to ignore this very strange feeling bubbling in his gut at nanami’s answer. he knows it’s fair for him to think about his dead love. lord knows satoru does. but it still pricks at the back of his mind, selfish as that may seem.

he tells nanami he experiences the same, thinking abouts suguru everyday that is. “i loved suguru...a lot.” satoru mutters softly and nanami hums.

"i felt the same about yu," he quietly tells satoru.

their hands brush as they move, their confessions hanging between them as they continue their journey to the trains. it shouldn't take this long normally, but they've slowed their paces, trying to buy more time with each other.

“sometimes i think i’m ready to move on," satoru nearly whispers. "then just the thought alone scares me. makes me feel like i'm..." he shakes his head. "like i'm betraying suguru somehow," he chuckles. the irony is not lost on him that he somehow feels he's betraying the man who betrayed them all. but still, it's a humbling feeling, one satoru doesn't feel often: fear.

nanami nods in understanding. “anything new feels terrifying. it’s not an uncommon feeling.”

he says it so casually that satoru has to ask. “do you ever think you’ll move on from haibara?” because he’s dying to know, though he doesn't know what exactly he'll do with that information.

nanami is quiet for a moment, pondering the question carefully. "i think i’ll always care for yu..." the train station approaches. "of course,” their hands brush again, the touch, repeating, lingering until they've reached the station. "if the right person came along, i don't think it would be as scary to move forward."

and with that, nanami leaves.

satoru lets nanami's words sit with him even as he watches nanami descend the stairs and disappear into the station, not bothering to look back at him, which is so like nanami that it's become endearing to satoru. he thinks about nanami's words even as he's walked back to the campus. even after he's showered and lying in bed. and even as he closes his eyes. his mind reels as he thinks about what nanami said.

if the right person came along

and suddenly, satoru's guilt eases.

if the right person came along

he lets his eyes drift closed, a soft smile on his face as his mind once again plays those words over and over.

if the right person came along

sleep washes over him, his dreams vivid and clear.

a calm blue sky.

the warmth of the sun on his face.

and a blonde haired man standing before him.

A/N: Artist is @Petridumps on twitter who has the most amazing and beautiful Nanago art!