#good lord we are a traumatized fandom aren't we

[my-past-disgusts-me]

Your Turn to Die characters but they're my favorite Vocaloid producers and not all of them are there GO

Kikuo - Shin. Something about him just has such a Kikuo vibe. Is it perhaps his unbearable melancholy? Perhaps the autism energy? Maybe it's just because I'm a Shinnie. Who knows.

PinocchioP - Anzu. Pop and fun, sure, but also. W. What. What is Psychedelic Smile. What is Schevengingen. Why is Whatever Yama-sama Says Goes so sad. Why does Aimaina hit me directly in the soul. Why must love be pain. I think she'd enjoy Pino-san's work.

Maretu - Reko. I don't think I need to elaborate much, just go listen to Aishiteitanoni and White Happy, maybe a little Taste of Cockroach I trust you to get where I'm coming from.

Utsu-p - Alice. He definitely wishes he could pull off drum lines for Utsu-p's music, poor thing. He's got that screaming against the world, looking for connection and being unable to find it energy.

Sasakure.uk - Nao. There's a lot. Just, a lot. You think you know an artist and then they turn around and pull out Åmara (The Great Intelligence) and you're hooked. Vague in such a compelling way. The more recent the discography the more fascinating it is. Like Nao!

Monaca.factory - Kanna. It's childlike and soft vibes, I think it fits her perfectly.

23.exe - Jou. Just, positive vibes with more below the surface than you'd think. That's him baybee

Ferry - Sara. The fucked up teenager energyyyyy, the fucked up traumatized teenager energyyyyy plEASE. You cannot tell me that 100 Epitaphs isn't Sara-coded. You cannot tell me that Sara and Sanya aren't so very similar. Plus The World is Smiling on Me UGH it has Sara written all over it, anyways.

Siinamota - Safalin. Something about the "Saa" in Q makes me think of her.

Nashimoto-ui - Kai. There's such a soft melancholy to Nashimoto-ui's music and I think it fits Kai quite well. He suffers, but he does not scream.

Hachi - Keiji. He's fucked up in such a way.

Azari - Mishima. Not a lot of screen time and under-appreciated by wider fandom NEXT

Beau Jordan - Qtaro. The mix of existential contemplative music and just, fun pop is very him, I think. Also Beau Jordan started off as Ctrl Ult Delete which is the shiteyanyo "joke" cover channel and that reminds me of Qtaro being a burger. Why. Anyways.

Neru - Ranmaru. Fucked up teenager energy. Wanna kms energy. Why am I still here energy. Get this Pomeranian therapy, dear Lord.

Kurage-P - Ranger. TRASH and TRASH! has such him vibes tbh. Also the fast paced and the sometimes fucked up topics (Check 1 2 hello????? Huh????? Girl chilllll) And dear lord Diary of Underage Observation is like. Ranger good ending.

cosMo@Bousou-p - Miley. Fucked up and upbeat and so much fun but also VORE SONG????? THAT SONG IS ABOUT VORE????????? HELLO????????????? A terror to behold, gamers quake upon seeing cosMo-san's name, just as Sue Miley is a harbinger of chaos and suffering. And yet, we love her dearly. Such is the way of things.

Chinozo - Mai. She seems the type to mask too much. This music is for people who mask too much.

Pepoyo - Hinako. I don't think this needs much explanation.

Mafumafu - Gin. It's the cat motifs.

[professorbellarke]

k you're so positive about everyting what can you say to make me feel better about saying "i care about both of you" to octavia? i feel like that dilutes her love for bellamy so much. is she just not confronting her love for him? idk it just feels like the writers again not caring about bellarke. putting bellamy on the same level as octavia for clarke.

OH FAM. FAM FAM FAM. The show is saying the exact opposite! In no uncertain terms! (Like…did you see the enormous, lovingly crafted charcoal Bellamy sketches everywhere? The were huge! The metaphor is not subtle! Bellamy takes up enormous real estate in her mind space for very good reason.) 

Anyway, the line you’re referring to comes right after Not!Octavia says THIS:

“Fine, you wrote me off. At the conclave, at Tondc—I get it. But the thing is, I really thought you cared about Bellamy.”

Clarke answering Not!Octavia by saying she cares about BOTH of them is not diluting her caring about Bellamy—she’s directly answering the charges HER OWN SUBCONSCIOUS is throwing at her. (Remember this is not actually Octavia!!). Not!Octavia is accusing her of not caring about Bellamy, but also about not caring about O. Clarke is a kind person. She would of course assure Octavia to her (not)face that she cares about her and not just Bellamy. She wouldn’t just skip over that part of the accusation.

But her guilt for the things she’s done to Octavia is tied up in her guilt over Bellamy, and vice versa. (She let the bomb drop on Tondc for Bellamy, remember?). That fighting pit room is just a big ball of Blake pain. It’s why she’s confronted with the bloodiest, most lethal, most unforgiving Blake manifestation there is--Blodreina. A monster accusing Clarke of being an even worse monster.

But it’s super important that Bellamy ISN’T THERE—and that only through Octavia can we even get near the Bellamy-shaped elephant in the (murder)room. Clarke can face Octavia’s (presumed) disgust and disdain, even though it hurts like a bitch. She cannot face Bellamy’s. Not even a subconscious manifestation of it.

Even the way Octavia’s dialogue is formed is so crucial. She uses caring for Bellamy as a kill shot, just like Josephine does later. She’s saying, “Fine, you fucked me over and chose to let me get blown up, whatever, it’s shitty but I’m not BELLAMY. BELLAMY is special to you, different than everyone else, on a different level to you, and you even fucked HIM over. Do you care about ANYONE?? is there anyone you love that hasn’t suffered?” 

THAT is what the Octavia manifestation is there to torture her over. She’s sticking a knife in one of Clarke’s softest spots. One of the things that Clarke and Bellamy have always explicitly given each other is forgiveness—and now here’s one of the very worst voices in Clarke’s head telling Clarke that she doesn’t actually have that. The one person (besides Madi, but children are different) who provides her with absolution and emotional safety…ACTUALLY thinks she’s a monster. She left him behind in the fighting pits. At the gates of Camp Jaha after Mt. Weather. The beautiful hug and forgiveness they shared earlier in s6, when Clarke thought she had shed her greatest sin of abandoning Bellamy by writing it on that lantern, is being weaponized against her. It’s not real. he doesn’t forgive you. You’re a monster, just like you’ve always thought.

Talking to Bellamy on the radio kept her sane and grounded (heh). Bellamy’s forgiveness and trust keep her centered (explicitly stated in s4 by Jaha). Take that away--hollow it out--and Clarke herself is hollowed.

And Clarke and Bellamy forgiving and absolving one another is absolutely bone-deep crucial to their character arcs. It always has been.

“He understands,” Clarke says, her heart in her voice. Because they’re the same! They’ve always been opposites but the same, balanced and equal, heart and head, leaders on space and leaders on earth, covered in blood to save their people but always washing it off the other. Clarke absolutely needs that to be true. Her worst fear is that it isn’t—that nobody understands her. That the blood doesn’t come out. That’s she’s a monster, and Bellamy of all people knows it.

Ain’t NOTHING diluted about what Clarke says. Sometimes you have to pay attention to what characters don’t say, and ESPECIALLY to HOW characters say things, like the way her voice breaks on “He forgave me”. God, his opinion and his trust and love are so important to her. Literally we see that without it, she starts to doubt her entire character. Clarke’s opinion of herself and Bellamy’s opinion of herself (and vice versa, but this is Clarkeland right now) are inextricably linked. Clarke gives up fighting and accepts brain death because of Bellamy taking that deal (and by the way Josephine frames it, inadvertently convincing Clarke that they really are better of without her). Bellamy gives up fighting and accepts heart death (Clarke-less existence) because it’s what hhe thinks Clarke would do. This isn’t me inferring. This is literally the plot on the screen.

UNSUBTLE AS ALL DAMN HELL and romantic as the damn Titanic movie poster

And the big, dramatic, HELL YEAH FEEL GOOD FIST PUMP of an ending is Clarke reaching across the void and against all damn odds making contact with…….who? BELLAMY. “He understands,” Clarke says, full of doubt that eh actually does, afraid that she’s only deluding herself, but HOO BOY WHO UNDERSTANDS CLARKE GRIFFIN BETTER? Bellamy literally understands the tapping of her finger! HER FINGER. TAPPING. He understands you bet your ASS ONE HUSBAND DOES!

There’s a reason it’s Bellamy who gets her message. Bellamy is her engine for emotional change. And she’s his. Been that way since Bellamy tried to get Clarke’s wristband off and Clarke said NO and then he didn’t let her fall in a pit of spikes. That was growth! That was Bellarke. That was the twin pillars of the show being established. They affect each other. And their effect on each other is the central plot of the whole damn story. And that shit is romantic as fuck. Literally the basis of all my favorite love stories.

Tl;dr: Stop gaslighting yourself, fam. The 100 has always been a big Bellarkeapalooza. Every major plotline, every dramatic climax, every emotional turning point. BELLARKAPALOOZA.

[pale-persephone]

Reign Revisited: "Snakes in the Garden"

In this episode, Reign finally starts to look like the show I remember. We're still getting some fabulous on-location exterior shots, but the scenes within the castle are now taking place on the sets we'll see from now until (presumably) the end of the series. From here on in, the French royal palace--the most luxurious court in Europe-- consists of four rooms and one hallway.

Now, let's dive in.

The Revisit

- Colin, we hardly knew ya. Oh, shit. I forgot that we aren't done with Colin. Dude really does have one of the most unfortunate arcs on the series. He leaves his home in Scotland, gets blackmailed by Catherine into (unsuccessfully) sexually assaulting his queen, almost gets beheaded but instead gets tortured, and all of this before eventually being rescued by Clarissa, only to then get captured by pagans and strung up like a Christmas goose. You'd think something like this would traumatize Lola for life and make her want to burn French court to the ground, but she's pretty much over it by the end of the episode. Does she ever even mention him again? I certainly don't remember her mourning for very long.

(Side note: Laurie McCarthy just loved threatening Mary with sexual assault, didn't she? Next up: Count Vincent.)

- Charlie Boy. We begin the episode with a happy Lumineers song and adorable baby brother Charles. I forgot how much I loved Francis's dynamic with his younger siblings. In my show head canon, I always felt like Francis was as much their parent as Catherine or Henry. I mean, if you're six years old and you've got a problem, who are you going to turn to for help? Your dad, who's too busy levying taxes and plotting military campaigns to even look at you, or your mother, whose solution to the issue of you getting teased by your playmates is to have all of their homes incinerated? No. They turned to Francis. We're not debating this.

- Heaven Scent. Y'all, the way we squealed at this in 2013. I may have squealed a little again.

C'mon. It's sweet. Baby boy is trying so hard to conceal, not feel.

- The British are Coming! The British are Coming! Our very first political threat of the series takes the form of Lord Simon Westbrook, who proves himself quite the party pooper when he reveals the scheme to poison Mary's porridge at the convent. I like seeing Mary stand her ground here as queen regnant of Scotland, just as I like seeing Francis literally and figuratively standing by her. Just look at him hovering nearby as he senses Mary's unease rising.

We all, of course, remember the moments immediately following, where Francis steps in to "rescue" Mary before she can have a meltdown, enticing her to come watch their friend "Antoine" making a drunken ass of himself.

My sincere question: Who the fuck is Antoine? Does Francis actually have a friend? Or did he pluck that name from thin air?

And then we got

Oh Lord Jesus it's a fire. One hand on her stomach, and the fandom exploded.

But, back to Simon. Rewatching this ep, I can't believe they only kept him around for a couple of episodes. Royal courts were teeming with diplomats, and yet Simon is the only English envoy I remember until Nicholas Throckmorton crashes onto the scene in season 3. Considering the English are the main antagonists of both Scotland and France, wouldn't it have been a good idea to put a face (or faces) to that threat? Later on, it would have been nice to see Mary argue with someone other than Francis.

Simon should have stuck around. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, Henry. We were robbed, y'all.

Why did we get so few moments with these two as a functioning power couple?

Henry's behavior in the back half of the season becomes so outlandish that it's hard to remember him as anything other than the chaotic rage monster who humped women out of windows and strutted about the castle without trousers. But, I like this Henry! He's not exactly benevolent, but he doesn't seem willing to adopt Catherine's ruthless methods to achieve his ends, either. His better nature can be appealed to, and he values stability. And his relationship with Catherine is so deliciously complex. He is both attracted to and repelled by her. He needs her, yet resents her. She undermines him even as she supports him. It's a fascinating dynamic, and it's too bad that we see its final gasp in "Dirty Laundry," well before the season even ends. After that, Henry's character goes Full Whacko and the subtleties of his loves and loyalties go out the door alongside the last shreds of his sanity.

- A Matched Set. Kudos to the costume department for the ways it found to visually signal Mary and Francis's compatibility. Even their outfits go together.

It's unfortunate that this scene ends in tension, but when your fiancée accuses your mother of attempted murder, things are bound to get a little AWKS.

- Exit Francis. Enter Bash. Was Frary getting a little to cute for you? Never fear! This is a love triangle, remember? Mary doesn't trust the palace guards to return Colin in one piece, and rightfully so. Of course Bash is willing to drop everything and run off to track Colin down through the dangerous Blood Wood, where even the palace guards fear to go.

Okay, fine. Whatever. I don't begrudge Bash for wanting to help. It's just that, once again, I am wondering where are Mary's people? She is a sovereign queen in her own right, and even though Scotland had nowhere near the financial resources of France, Mary should have her own employees. Besides that, she also had an extensive family network of her own in France that did not include the Valois. Why am I saying this? Because I just don't understand how the Queen of Scotland would have literally no one to turn to in this situation besides the king's bastard son, whom she has known for a hot minute.

(Has it been only a hot minute? They never make clear the extent of Mary and Bash's knowledge of one another prior to Mary's return to court. Back when the series was first airing, I remember Mash shippers insisting that Mary must have played with Bash as well, but Bash is several years older than Mary and Francis, and would not have been "playmate" age. Also, when Mary first sees Bash after stepping out of the carriage, she doesn't say, "Oh, that's Bash. How grown up he's become!" She only says, "That's not Francis. I know it." She doesn't seem sure of who he is, only that he isn't Francis.

And, yeah, this really affects how I feel about these ships. Mary and Francis were childhood partners in crime, and from their reminiscences, it seems their relationship was equal parts fondness and annoyance. She chased after him; he threw apples at her, they sneaked out together to catch the fireflies...Mary and Bash simply don't have that history. They don't have the connection.)

- Hello, Clarissa. So, we find out the name of the bag lady. It's Clarissa, and she apparently has an established relationship with little Charles. He seems slightly afraid of her, but this doesn't stop him from informing Mary that Clarissa knows everything about everyone in the castle and that she likes to play guessing games. This will become important in about, oh, five minutes.

- Plotting Along. Our main storyline here involves a scheme to terrorize Mary into leaving French court. First, there is Simon's veiled threat during Charles and Madeline's engagement party. Then, Mary happens upon a servant who has tried on one of her freshly tailored dresses, only to collapse in apparent agony while crying out that the aforementioned dress has been poisoned. With the help of Clarissa and a couple of marbles, Mary "Nancy Drew" Stuart is able to figure out that the poisoned dress was merely a ruse perpetrated by Simon in order to frighten her, and that Catherine must have been the one to issue the order dismissing her guards, which enabled the scheme to work. It's a little convoluted, but I love Simon's (practically shirtless) response to Mary's allegations:

- Into the Woods. So, Bash locates Colin in the forest, because Bash is amazing at everything. He's the best rider, the best hunter, the best tracker in the kingdom. Or, at least, that's what we're told. He's apparently imparted enough of his knowledge to his sheltered little brother for Francis to stumble across Bash in the woods, which happens shortly after Bash has cut poor, bled-out Colin down. Unfortunately for them both, whatever got to Colin appears to be approaching them quickly, unseen but clearly hostile.

Francis, because he's normal, instructs Bash to draw his sword in anticipation of an attack. Bash, however, opts to slash his dagger across his palm and start speaking in tongues.

Y'ALL. I was CACKLING. Yeah, it all seems very ominous and dangerous here, but now we KNOW. We know this is hoodoo bullshit. This "dark force" (eventually, just the Darkness) permeating the woods, demanding blood sacrifice, is a little man with pointy teeth. I just can't take this seriously.

Francis, light of my life, your beautiful face speaks for all of us.

- The Pull. So, we've come to the end. Francis knows that Bash is mixed up with some shady fuckery in the woods. Mary knows that Catherine is the person at French court who has been terrorizing her, trying to force her to leave. All that is left is for Mary and Francis to report their findings to one another, and for Francis to call Catherine on her bullshit. Which he does. Like a BAWS.

He's still holding in as much of his heart as he can, but this is his declaration. He is on Mary's side. Full stop.

Frary shippers truly were blessed in the beginning, weren't we? 'Cause this episode has one more gem to reveal: that poignant "Don't give up. Don't run. Stay." moment by the water. *Sigh*

Enjoy it while it lasts, though. We've got exactly two more episodes before Olivia arrives and ruins goddamn everything.

Final Thoughts

We're moving away from all the giggles and barefoot dancing that made the previous episode feel like such a romp. The foundation for the love triangle is being built brick-by-brick, and Prince Francis from the pilot is growing into the more familiar Francis of the Golden Curls, First in Our Hearts character whose death will rip our guts out come season 3. But, for now, things are moving along at a fast clip, and I almost wish I didn't know how disappointing it's all going to turn out in the end.

And, seriously...who the fuck is Antoine?

On to episode 3...