#goyim being normal about Jews challenge

[a-very-tired-jew]

One of the worst parts of planning a wedding after October is asking "which of our potential guests is normal about Jews?" Having to literally sleuth through social medias is disheartening.

We've already written off about 20 people, one of which used to be a meta and was potential bf for my partner. To see someone you cared for and could have had a relationship with just openly call for the death of your people is gut wrenching. A lot of people don't actually know I'm Jewish because I'm secular and so is my partner. In every instance of removing someone from our lives we get a message asking why. We lay out all of the antisemitism that they expressed over the course of these months and in every. single. instance. we've gotten some version of "well I respect your opinion, but I disagree". These are Left queer progressive types who have openly stated over and over again that if you are not part of that minority group you do not get to tell them what is and isn't offensive. So yeah, it's not just online discourse Lefties or campus protesters. It's people you may know on a personal level and have many, many memories with. They've sacrificed everything they stood for because of antisemitism and hatred. I'm so very tired.

[imaginearyparties]

masterlist.

last update: may 15, 2023

moodboards, meta, ao3.

bucky barnes.

one shots.

i won't mind.

[6.5k, angst-ish with a happy ending (sort of), 40s!bucky]. your old pal Bucky only has a few hours before he goes off to war. somehow, he winds up spending them with you.

a shadow in your cave.

[1.1k, hurt/comfort] when your depression takes over, bucky can't fix what's wrong. but he can illuminate things for you.

does he know the way (i worship our love)?

[1k, angst, post-endgame au]. he doesn’t quite remember how you fell into bed with each other, only that he’d give anything to take it back, and he’d give everything to keep it going.

drabbles.

cruel to be kind. [angst]

headcanons.

soulmate au: aging, songbird, guardian.

no reader.

tea party.

[fluff, bucky & daughter!oc]. steve and sam are as good as men get, so of course, they’re willing to indulge bucky’s daughter in a tea party.

a home for bucky (a shonda fur die goyim).

[angst, tw: the holocaust, jewish!bucky]. fuck it, bucky’s already a bad jew. he could get a tattoo.

ready to comply.

[angst]. most days, bucky gets on fine. he goes about his day like a normal guy, albeit one that wears gloves all the time and looks about half a century younger than he actually is. but there are some days where he can’t get on fine.

druig.

one shots.

1960.

[1.1k, meet-cute, 60s!reader]. it’s new year’s eve 1960 and greenwich village is full of surprises.

wanda maximoff.

one shots.

(bury me) in all my favorite colors.

[2k, angst, emo!aou!wanda]. your world went gray when wanda chose hydra over being with you. when she shows up at your door, it has you seeing red.

steve rogers.

one shots.

damnit, janet!

[2.6k, fluff, insecure!reader]. your boyfriend is about as brad majors as they come, which is why you don’t tell him that you’re playing janet in a production of rocky horror. what happens when he finds out anyway?

where you decide to stay.

[3.5k, mutual pining, nomad!steve]. all you’ve ever known is the lonely life. if you’re not careful, you just might let steve rogers convince you of something more.

drabbles.

art school ta!steve.

royal bodyguard!steve. [secret relationship].

birthday cake. [fluff].

kidnapped. [angst, retired!Steve x civilian!reader].

natasha romanov.

one shots.

queen.

[angst, everything short of smut]. natasha commits atrocities. you turn the stories of them into her sweetest sins.

etc.

drabbles.

you make me feel. [loki x reader, angst].

take a chance on me. [kate bishop x reader, ex-besties to lovers].

almost like praying. [steve rogers x bucky barnes, angst, 40s!].

headcanons.

steve x bucky: one, two.

challenges & events.

300 followers theater challenge.

600 followers mosh pit sleepover.

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Something Worth Celebrating

Here’s a brief bit of holiday irony for you:

The “holiday season” is a time of year during which goyim – Christian and atheist alike – are especially active about trying to convince Jews to join in on the fun and be like everyone else.

“No one should be alone at Christmas!” they say as they encourage us to assimilate. “This is a special time of year!”

Sometimes these probably-well-meaning goyim recognize that this time of year might be special to Jews for a reason other than Christmas. They expect that we Jews at the very least must be celebrating in some big way for Chanukah, if not Christmas.

Really, Chanukah is the one Jewish holiday that goyim are most likely to know of and ask Jews about. Never mind Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Pesach, Sukkot, or Purim – THIS holiday happens at the same time as Christmas, so it’s the only one the goyim have noticed, and consequently it’s the one they assume is most important to us!

But what exactly do Jews celebrate at Chanukah? What moment in history do we commemorate in this holiday that goyim assume is so important to us?

Answer: we’re celebrating a time when a bunch of goyim forced us to assimilate into their culture… and so we killed them! Hooray!

Assimilation is an unavoidable topic for me this time of year. As I wrote earlier this month, goyim tend to act like there’s something wrong with Jews if we don’t enjoy Christmas. And while I don’t have any intention of mimicking the Maccabees and murdering my oppressors, I still wish that they would just... stop acting like everyone in the world is and should be like they are.

Yesterday I gave myself a challenge - an experiment in courage, if you will. I told myself that every time someone at work told me “Merry Christmas,” I would reply, “Thanks, Happy Chanukah!”

If you only know me through my online persona, then you might be surprised to learn that for the first few hours of the day I struggled with this challenge. I am much more outspoken in text than I am in person. My gut response to the endless “Merry Christmas”es of this week each year is to grin awkwardly and stammer “you too,” feeling unseen in the face of their assumptions and complicit in my own erasure. I envy the safety of Christonormativity as much as I shy away from its inherent close-mindedness. I’ve often wished that I “could” just say “Happy Hanukkah” to strangers, that I “could” be free to assume that anyone around me would be happy to know that I was Jewish.

This year it finally hit me - why shouldn’t I just say “Happy Chanukah” to strangers? If they’re free to comfortably assume that I want to hear about their holiday which is on this day, then why shouldn’t I be free to comfortably assume that they want to hear about my holiday which is on this day?

As Rabbi Hillel put it, “If not now, when?”

Overall, the challenge went better than I expected it to. After my first few quiet, hesitant attempts, “Happy Hanukkah” became the response that casually leapt to my tongue. Most of my guests just kept walking, evidently not expecting me to say anything in response to their “Merry Christmas.” Nobody reacted in a particularly negative way, though I’m sure I caught a lot of people off-guard. One person laughed a bit uncomfortably and said, “Ooh, nice!” Another person replied, “Yes, and Kwanzaa!” while another said, “Oh, right, happy holidays!” as though suddenly reminded that not everyone does the Christmas thing.

My coworkers, who mostly already knew that I’m Jewish, tended to grin and say, “Sorry, Happy Hanukkah!” One whom I don’t know very well got a bit hesitant and suggested that we say “Happy everything” instead of being specific. I discovered that one of my coworkers was also telling everyone “Happy Hanukkah,” not because she was Jewish (she isn’t), but because she wanted to be different. This made me laugh; it struck me that her actions were normalizing the expression of my religion in public. The specificity from her and the others who said “Happy Hanukkah” made me feel a little less alone, in a way that being told “Merry Christmas” or even “Happy Holidays” has never worked towards that goal.

A couple days ago, I read a fanfic about a character celebrating Hanukkah with her adoptive family and Christmas with her friends. Along the way, she discovers that one of the side characters is Jewish, and invites him home with her to light the menorah.

At the end, the first character resolves to invite the Jewish character along again for the subsequent nights, thinking, “No one deserved to be alone on the holidays.”

This story hit me a lot harder than I expected it to, mainly because of that line. Of course I’ve heard people say that I shouldn’t be alone this time of year before. Goyim say it all the time. But when they say it, what they mean is that I should be celebrating Christmas with them. This fanfic took a character who is only seen in canon celebrating Christmas with his friends, and says that he doesn’t deserve to be alone with the goyim this time of year. He deserves to be with his people instead, if he wants to be.

Between my family (whom I’ve always had but are currently miles away from me) and my growing community of synagogue friends, I’m less “alone with the goyim” than I’ve been in a long time. I’m grateful for my community, and fulfilled by it. We don’t need to be like everyone else in order to be happy.

That’s what Chanukah’s really about, for me - the idea that we don’t need to say “thank you” to the people who think we should assimilate and be “not alone,” that instead we deserve to be “not alone” with other Jews, celebrating our culture in public.

At one point yesterday, a family including a man wearing a kippah came past me. As they walked by, I said, “Chag sameach!” The man did a double-take, and then he grinned at me, laughing a bit as he said “Thank you!”

And in that moment, we were both of us not alone on the holidays. And that’s something worth celebrating this time of year.

Chag urim sameach, everyone!

[sefaradweb]

«Lo peor de planear una boda después de octubre es preguntar "¿cuál de nuestros posibles invitados es normal con los judíos?"

Tener que investigar en las redes sociales es desalentador.

Ya hemos descartado a unas 20 personas, una de las cuales solía ser un posible novio para mi pareja. Ver a alguien a quien cuidabas y con quien podrías haber tenido una relación abiertamente pedir la muerte de tu pueblo es desgarrador.

Mucha gente no sabe que soy judío porque tanto mi pareja como yo somos seculares. En cada instancia de eliminar a alguien de nuestras vidas, recibimos un mensaje preguntando por qué. Exponemos todo el antisemitismo que expresaron en el transcurso de estos meses y, en cada. una. de las instancias, recibimos alguna versión de "bueno, respeto tu opinión, pero no estoy de acuerdo".

Son personas progresistas queer de izquierda que han declarado abiertamente una y otra vez que si no eres parte de ese grupo minoritario, no puedes decirles qué es y qué no es ofensivo.

Así que sí, no son solo los izquierdistas del discurso en línea o los manifestantes en los campus. Son personas que puedes conocer a nivel personal y con las que tienes muchos, muchos recuerdos.

Han sacrificado todo lo que defendían por el antisemitismo y el odio.

Estoy muy cansado.»

One of the worst parts of planning a wedding after October is asking "which of our potential guests is normal about Jews?" Having to literally sleuth through social medias is disheartening.

We've already written off about 20 people, one of which used to be a meta and was potential bf for my partner. To see someone you cared for and could have had a relationship with just openly call for the death of your people is gut wrenching. A lot of people don't actually know I'm Jewish because I'm secular and so is my partner. In every instance of removing someone from our lives we get a message asking why. We lay out all of the antisemitism that they expressed over the course of these months and in every. single. instance. we've gotten some version of "well I respect your opinion, but I disagree". These are Left queer progressive types who have openly stated over and over again that if you are not part of that minority group you do not get to tell them what is and isn't offensive. So yeah, it's not just online discourse Lefties or campus protesters. It's people you may know on a personal level and have many, many memories with. They've sacrificed everything they stood for because of antisemitism and hatred. I'm so very tired.