#guest starring r2d2 being an obnoxious but endearing troll as he so often does

[amorremanet]

obi-wan/anakin/padme (because i can't get enough of your hcs about these three)

another, “send me a ship and i tell you the things” meme, yay!

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa: Anakin. Look, you can only be electrocuted in ways that should’ve been fatal so many times before your luck runs out. Statistically speaking, Anakin is doing way better than he should be, because one of the only issues he has is the door thing, and it’s a miracle that he hasn’t died from how many volts of electricity have ever gone through his body and how many times it’s happened.

So, like…… relative to being dead? Screwing up with doors isn’t that bad.

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them: Obi-Wan did for a while, but has worked on stopping since Padmé asked him to either make his own desk or stop doodling on hers.

As far as making his own desk went? ……yeah, that died after Obi-Wan tried to look up, “how to make a desk” and decided that it sounded messy and complicated and okay, wow, he has so much more respect for Padmé’s desk now that he actually kind of understands the work that she put into making it

Who starts the tickle fights: Obi-Wan.

Who starts the pillow fights: Padmé.

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile: They take turns, but it’s usually Anakin, simply by virtue of him having a weirder sleep schedule than either of his spouses

Who mistakes salt for sugar: They all had moments of doing this until Anakin gave up and put really clear labels on every container that could conceivably be used for salt or sugar (and one for salgar, though only he and Ahsoka ever use that one because Obi-Wan and Padmé think salgar is disgusting).

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning: Anakin, but it’s usually a sign that he’s upset about something. But it is still really annoying. Especially when it happens right before or in the general vicinity of Padmé having some big deal business at the Senate.

Because Ani? Sweetheart, she appreciates that you’re upset and don’t always know how to talk about it until you’ve worked out some of the frustration through tinkering, or working out, or having a late-night self-pity party with microwave taquitos and a pint of Cherry Garcia?

But she also appreciates what rest she can get and would, in general, appreciate it if you could, like…… please care enough about your spouses to not let the microwave beep on the eve of this important vote she’s been trying to argue for that will, you know, literally affect the fate of several star-systems? kthx.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines: Obi-Wan, oh god. They are so cringe-worthy, you’re gonna scream. Or groan and facepalm, which is what his spouses usually do because Obi-Wan is such a loser nerd and they love him.

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order: Obi-Wan and Padmé are in an ongoing dispute over whether it should be alphabetical by author (sub-alphabetized by title), or parceled out into subjects and then made alphabetical by author. Anakin has been permanently recused from the debate because his idea for an organizing system attempted to combine Obi-Wan and Padmé’s ideas, utilized some concepts that were somehow inspired by the wiring inside of a speeder he’d fixed a few days earlier, and literally only made sense to him and R2.

Anakin still stands by his terrible idea. He also maintains that it is a very, very good idea and that Obi-Wan and Padmé would learn their way around it through practice if they would just let him do it and try it themselves. This argument is slightly hampered by the fact that Anakin cannot explain how his system works without at least five charts.

One of the original charts involved sand and how his system would minimize the amount of sand involved in the bookshelf. No one is entirely sure why this was important in designing an organization system for the bookshelf because the closest it’s ever been to sand was the sawdust that happened when Padmé built the bookshelves herself, and now that he’s had a nap or ten, even Anakin admits that this chart was probably not necessary.

However, he maintains that this doesn’t change how his idea for how to best organize the bookshelf is the one they should be using. Neither does the fact that he was exceptionally caffeinated at the time and hadn’t slept in a while. Nope.

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies: They take turns, but Obi-Wan probably does it most often.

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion: None of them, really. They usually don’t even bother to have candles for special occasions.

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen: Obi-Wan and Padmé take turns drawing them on Anakin. Except for sometimes, when R2 is actually the one drawing on Anakin, and Obi-Wan and Padmé get framed, because R2D2 is a troll.

That said, the humans here have figured out that R2’s tattoo doodles are usually more risqué than Obi-Wan’s or Padmé’s — neither of them, for example, particularly gets the “humor” of Anakin having a cartoon phallus drawn on his face — so R2 gets away with this less. This has yet to make R2 stop doing it, but y’know.

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation: Anakin, oh my god. He has souvenir magnets all over the fridge and various surfaces in his favorite speeder, he has souvenir snow-globes on the bookshelves (and one in Padmé’s home-office), he collects all the tacky souvenir junk you never wanted.

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines: R2 has tried in vain to convince his humans that these would totally be fun and they should do it, but they keep shooting him down in favor of doing Mad-Libs. R2 has resorted to filling them out with 3PO, which is mostly just irritating because most of 3PO’s answers suck.