Dream Sequence - Act 1, Scene 6, Wasting Time
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Ship: Severus Snape x Reader/OC
Story Summary: Your name is Gwendolyn Goode. You’re a bright Hufflepuff with a knack for potions, and this is the story of how an understanding and trust between yourself and Professor Severus Snape slowly evolves over the years into mentorship, friendship, and eventual romance.
Scene Summary: 6th year. A botched up trip to Hogsmeade finds you and Snape trapped by the rain in the Hog’s Head. You take the opportunity to to speak candidly with your professor. "Wasting Time" by ALEX and Kendall Miles
Length: 7,116
Rating: T
Warnings: Uhhh… Student still pining for teacher.
Notes: About a quarter of the way through writing this, my computer crashed with a Blue Screen of Death and I lost a great deal of material because my word processor’s auto-save was set to every 30 minutes. That’s why this scene is pretty late, and why it’s maybe not my best work. It was pretty discouraging.
Also, there are a handful of cameos from various media I’m a fan of in this scene. Let me know if you spot them!
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You had emphatically told your friends that you were not interested in going out to Hogsmeade this weekend. You had your reasons; very good ones, in fact! But none of your girlfriends were willing to hear of it. ‘It’s the final trip of the year! The last chance to have some fun before exams! You can’t keep hiding in the dungeons Gwendolyn; you need to get out!’ Ugh. You would have been much better off just staying in the dungeons; your current surroundings were about as brightly lit anyway.
You had eventually submitted to the wheedling of your girlfriends, but you warned them that you weren’t going to be happy about it. Which was a mistake, because they did everything within their power to try and force you to be happy. They dragged you to each and every shop, made a reservation for the whole group at Madam Puddifoot’s for later in the afternoon, and insisted that you at least try on a set of emerald green dress robes while in Gladrags. The darkening clouds in the sky overhead reflected your own stormy mood. All the while, you kept a defiant scowl firmly on your face (“Gwen, you’ve really got to stop spending so much time down there. You’re picking up his facial expressions.”). And while you had managed a bit of a smile inside of Honeydukes, your arms laden with a sack full of licorice wands, pepper imps and coconut ice, the moments between shops were spent constantly looking over your shoulder, keeping an eye out for those very good reasons you had for not wanting to leave the castle.
Joshua DeJarnette really had it out for you this week. You had successfully (and quite accidentally) made a fool of him in Defense Against the Dark Arts, when you’d been caught up in the chain of people passing a note from one side of the room to the other. Professor Rakepick had noticed the note just as the folded square of paper had landed in front of you. She had instructed you to stand up and read it out loud to the class, perhaps intending to teach you a lesson about breaking the rules. However, the note had obviously not been meant for you. In fact, it rapidly became clear that this was not meant to be read by anyone, except for its intended.
Because it had been poetry. Love poetry. Written by DeJarnette. Its recipient, a Slytherin girl by the name of Erica Velazquez, had flushed dark red when you began reading, and you followed suit the further down the note you got. Professor Rakepick, quite pink in the face herself, had stopped you about midway and snatched the piece of paper from your hands, saying she would handle it herself. As you sat back down in your chair, you could feel seething hatred radiating towards you from the back row of desks. DeJarnette and Velazquez had been held back after class, and by the grace of this alone were you able to escape before DeJarnette could seek retribution. You had managed to avoid him for three days now, but your time was running short. You were prepared for the fact you would have to see him in Charms the following week; at least Professor Flitwick wouldn’t allow any fighting in his classroom. But you weren’t prepared for a possible ambush in Hogsmeade.
And speaking of ambushes, your other reason for wanting to avoid Hogsmeade all together this weekend had become quite adept at the art. For the last three semesters, Lawrence Hollingsworth had been cornering you at every available opportunity, to ask you what you were doing on any given night or afternoon or weekend or literally any time he could find an excuse to try and be alone with you. Lawrence had been remarkably understanding last year, when you had told him that you weren’t interested in dating because you needed to concentrate on your O.W.L.’s. He’d wholeheartedly agreed, had even volunteered to help you out with your Transfiguration and Charms, like a form of compensation for all the help you’d given him in Potions. You’d accepted, and through your joint efforts of intensive study, you had gotten an Exceeds Expectations in Charms, letting you advance to the N.E.W.T. course, and had scraped by with an Acceptable in Transfiguration, which was all you really could have hoped for.
But now O.W.L.’s were over, and it would be another whole year before you’d have to take your N.E.W.T.’s. Which apparently, to Lawrence, meant that you had plenty of time to consider dating him now. It had become nightmarish, really. You’d wanted so desperately to just hang on to your platonic friendship with him, but now he was becoming a real nuisance. If you were alone, anywhere, for even a couple of minutes, he somehow always managed to turn up and find you. It was innocent enough at first. Sidling up to you in the library to do homework together? Typical, even welcome. Picking the spot across from you at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall during meals? Not unusual, though now it had become every meal. Plopping himself onto the couch beside you in the common room, even if someone else was already sitting there? That’s when his advances started to get a little annoying. But it had been when he was waiting for you outside of the girl’s lavatory one afternoon that you had to draw the line and take matters into your own hands.
That was when you started stealing away into the Potions classroom in the evenings. Snape had barely even questioned you when you showed up one night after dinner, practically begging him for a quiet place to do your homework. And surprisingly (or maybe not at all surprising), he allowed it, letting you sequester one of the worktables for yourself after classes had ended for the day. It was a perfect arrangement, really; the dungeon was always cool and quiet. No one ever voluntarily entered the Potions classroom if they didn’t have to. And even if one of your oppressors found out where you were hiding, Snape was almost always there. Aside from the protection this offered you from bullies and not-boyfriends, it also provided an endless font of academic tutelage. If Snape was in a good mood (and he usually was, when classes were over, and it was just the two of you…) he was usually amenable to helping you with your studies. Answering questions, giving advice on improving your spell work, even proofreading essays, if he didn’t have anything better to do. And even if he wasn’t around to aid you, the fact that he still trusted you, alone in his classroom while he wasn’t there, spoke volumes of his confidence in you.
But Snape wasn’t here to protect you from your tormentors now. No, when you and your friends had exited Honeydukes, making your way up High Street to meet your reservations at Madam Puddifoot’s, you had seen them. Both of them. DeJarnette and Velazquez were standing outside of Scrivenshaft’s, Velazquez admiring the peacock quills through the front window, holding on to her boyfriend’s arm, while DeJarnette was very obviously scanning the street, like he was looking for something, or someone, in particular. And just as you were turning around to sneak away from your friends in the other direction, you saw Lawrence exit Zonko’s, smiling and laughing, surrounded by his mates, but also distractedly skimming the crowds. And you knew there would be no chance of just hiding amongst your girlfriends; you were about 5 inches taller than the rest of them after a nice summer growth spurt last year, your wild blonde hair making you stand out like a dandelion in a field of neatly trimmed grass.
In a fit of panic, you made a break for it. Detaching yourself from your group of friends, you slinked (skulked!!) down the nearest side street, disappearing around the corner and hopefully out of view, praying that no one had spotted your daring escape. You had thought this was the street that led to Madam Puddifoot’s, planning on just slipping into the little café and securing the table for you and your friends ahead of their arrival. But your sense of direction must have been lost in your panic, because you found yourself instead in a dark, shadowy alley, surrounded by decrepit, boarded up buildings, a dubious looking potions shop, and a seedy bar and inn with a sign proudly displaying the bloody, severed head of a pig. You had the presence of mind to at least be weary of your surroundings, fingering the hard edge of your wand through your bag. You had been considering the merits of doubling back, searching the streets in hopes that your friends were still nearby, or your adversaries had moved along. But a sudden rumble of thunder overhead had made your decision for you, and you scampered into the nearest doorway at the first thud of a rain drop onto your cheek.
And that is how you found yourself in the Hog’s Head, seated at a teeny, tiny table near the window, listening to the heavy rain pelt against the dingy glass. Nursing a lukewarm butterbeer (which you had insisted you would rather just have straight from the bottle, no need for a mug, thanks), you were doing the only thing worth doing in a dodgy bar on the wrong side of town with no one to talk to; drawing the natives. Not in any extreme detail, of course. You saved that for plants and mushrooms, typically. But several pages of your black velvet sketch book were dedicated exclusively to tiny, cartoonish caricatures, usually of your professors, though you thought you might commit a page or two to the fascinating inhabitants of the Hog’s Head. You’d already sketched out two; the gruff looking bartender, with his dirty rag and dirtier beer mugs, as well as a very skinny older man seated at the bar, who was sporting a pencil thin moustache and wearing a hideous plaid suit that looked to be intentionally splattered with mustard stains, a flimsy paper crown perched on his balding head. Had you known you would be spending the remainder of your day in the presence of such royalty, you would have worn something nicer than denim shorts and a ringer tee.
This… certainly wasn’t how you’d expected your day to go. It felt like coming to Hogsmeade had been a huge waste of time. Granted, it could have gone much, much worse. You could be stuck at Madam Puddifoot’s, for one. The place was lovely, no doubt, with its delicate little cakes and tea sandwiches. But food that small shouldn’t be so expensive. And if you and your girls had all gotten stuck there from the rain, you would have been forced to keep buying things so as not to get kicked out. There was also the chance that DeJarnette and his girlfriend may have shown up for a romantic afternoon. Or Lawrence could have heard where you all had gone for lunch and came sprinting in. Perhaps going down the wrong street had been a blessing in disguise. And… well. The Hog’s Head wasn’t so bad. Kind of cozy, actually, with its dim lighting, small quarters, and quiet but curious clientele.
Gee… Maybe you were spending too much time in the dungeons.
You were contemplating who to commit to paper next. There was the austere looking old witch in the blue gown taking up one of the nearby booths, her long silver hair pulled up into a severe bun, her red taloned fingers gleaming with great big rings. She also had a massive wart right between her blue shadowed eyes, topping off her beak-like nose. Then there was the pale young man seated in the corner booth, with the dark red curls and the steely grey-blue eyes. Er… Eye. He was actually fairly attractive for being in a place like this, but he was also dressed like a pirate, with an eyepatch and everything. The only thing missing was the parrot, which he had apparently substituted for a raven instead.
You were contemplating whether or not ravens could be considered seafaring birds, when a dark shadow crossed into your peripheral vision. Starting with sudden fright, you saw a hooded figure standing outside the window, right beside where you were seated. The distortion of the wet glass, as well as the shadow cast by the hood of the strangers traveling cloak, made it so that you could not distinguish any particular features. But you got the distinct impression they were staring through the window at you. You felt your mouth go dry, and just as the figure turned away, making its way toward the door, you plunged your hand into your bag and seized your wand. You were absolutely certain it was DeJarnette, that he’d found you and was about to corner you in this nasty little bar where no one was going to come to your aid and everyone would turn a blind eye as he hexed you into oblivion and-
The door to the pub creaked opened, the sound of torrential rain pounding onto the cobble stones outside filling the small space with static noise. You held your breath, wand at the ready to defend yourself, poised on the edge of your seat to spring into action at any moment. But DeJarnette took his time coming in, slowly shutting the door behind him. He then turned his back to you (was he stupid??) and made a show of dramatically whipping off his cloak, hanging the sopping raiment onto the coat rack by the door. And your body crumpled with equal parts relief and aggravation. Because it wasn’t DeJarnette at all.
Snape looked a bit like a drowned rat after coming out of the rain. Though his cloak was surely charmed against the elements, the hair around his face was stringy, clinging to his damp cheeks and forehead, his shirtsleeves and trousers drenched around the cuffs. Under one arm he held a paper sack that looked on the verge of losing its structural integrity, the stamp on the side baring the name of the dingy potions shop you’d passed on the way in.
As you slumped back into your chair, dropping your wand to the table with a clatter, you realized that Snape’s attention wasn’t actually on you. Not that you were disappointed by that or anything but… you rather thought you had been the reason he’d come in. But no, Snape was decidedly not looking at you. Instead, he was facing the bar, with his jaw clenched and his eyes wary, like he was debating turning right back around and leaving. That in itself was disquieting, and you followed his line of sight to the bartender, who was glaring at Snape so lividly that you actually feared he was about to throw the Professor out.
But Snape would not be intimidated, it seemed, as he determinedly made his way over to your table and set his bag down with a thud, its contents rattling together with a tinkle of glass. He then pulled out the empty chair and settled himself into it, though he still wasn’t looking at you. His eyes were closed, as though he was attempting to avoid eye contact with anyone else in the bar. You could see a vein pulsating in his temple. When he finally spoke, his voice was dangerously quiet, low enough that you had to lean in closer to hear. “Miss Goode, what in the world are you doing here of all places?”
You openly gaped at him, your face hardening in indignation as you were affronted by his words. “Me? What about you! You scared the shi-” you paused, face going scarlet as he finally did look up at you then, his signature brow arched, a reluctant smirk tugging at his lips. You crossed your arms over your chest and sank further into your chair, looking quite put out. “You frightened me. Lurking outside the window like that.”
“Was I lurking?” he asked innocently, finally straightening up as he pushed his lank hair out of his face, glancing about the bar, still with an air of trepidation. For the first time since you’ve known him, he actually appeared genuinely anxious. And that made you feel anxious. He was one of the most brilliant wizards you knew; what in the world did he have to be frightened of?
“I’m sorry, did I say lurking?” You sat up as well, trying to appear calmer than you felt as you placed your elbows against the table and leaned in closer. “Because what I meant to say was skulking.”
That did its job, as Snape buried is face in one hand, hiding his snort of laughter from both you and the other patrons. But you felt the tension around him, around you both, begin to ease. You settled your cheek into one of your hands, watching him fondly as he composed himself. This was a rather unique situation for the pair of you. While you’d spent many evenings in the Potions classroom these last few weeks, doing your homework and studying for exams, it had always held a purely academic atmosphere. Sometimes you talked about things other than just school, but those times were rare, and ultimately came back around to your studies. Right now, though… It felt like two friends meeting for a drink. You bit your bottom lip as you watched Snape school his features back into calm and collected impassivity, but glanced away quickly when he returned his eyes to you.
“Baseless accusation. I was neither lurking, nor skulking.” He’d settled back into his chair, one hand propped on his crossed knee while the other thrummed idly against the small wooden table top. You arched a brow incredulously, which you were getting quite good at, as you were learning from the best. But of course, he matched it and surpassed it, waving his hand dismissively in your direction. “I was observing.”
You absolutely could not have stopped your grin if you tried. This banter was so easy, felt so natural. You could do this all day with him, really, and you found yourself really enjoying it. Shaking your head, you snatched up your butterbeer with your free hand before taking a swig. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?” you asked in mock surprise. “I think Professor McGonagall might have something to say to the contrary.”
Snape rolled his eyes, but you could tell he was struggling to fight down his own grin. “I dare say Minerva has something contrary to say about most things that I do.” He glanced over your set up at the small table; your sketch book, your bag from Honeydukes, the lukewarm butterbeer you were twisting by the neck between your fingers. “You still haven’t answered my question,” he reminded you, and you found yourself pouting moodily.
“And you haven’t answered mine!” you countered, looking dourly out the window as the rain continued to pour, your face still slumped against your hand. “I’m allowed to be here. No one ever told me that the Hog’s Head was off limits.”
Snape already looked fed up with your brooding. If there was anything he hated, it was a petulant teenager, and you sure were acting the part right now. “You aren’t wrong,” he agreed curtly. “It isn’t off limits to students. However, it’s not the sort of place I would advise any student to visit alone.” He met you with a warning look then, a reminder that he thought you really were a bit of a bubbleheaded Hufflepuff sometimes.
You wilted at that, glancing around at the odd assortment of people in the bar, who were all quietly minding their own business. “No one’s been bothering me,” you assured him, hoping to put his mind at ease. Though you did feel a curious sort of flutter at the fact that he seemed so concerned with your wellbeing. Your eyes stuck on the bartender though, and you frowned to find he was still casting furtive glances towards the pair of you. “Indeed, the only person anyone has been hostile towards is you, sir. Why does the barman look like he wants to throw you out?”
Snape started slightly at that, his eyes shifting to the bartender in question, before glancing away quickly, staring hard at his fingers as they continued to tap agitatedly at the table top. You immediately regretted asking, because that anxious dread was creeping up your spine again, and you wondered if you had crossed a line. Snape, for his credit, only appeared to be annoyed. Though whether it was at your blatant snooping, or at the barman himself, you weren’t sure. “Because he’s thrown me out before,” he admitted quietly, but his obvious effort to keep his voice down was lost on you.
“What?!” you squealed, eyes wide as you sat bolt upright, though the withering glare you received made you shrink back only slightly. Clutching the edge of the table with both hands, you leaned in conspiratorially. “Are you serious?” you whispered excitedly, and though his continued scowling should have set off warning bells, you were too eager for this potentially juicy story. Because honestly, you couldn’t just casually mention that you’d been thrown out of an already pretty rough looking bar without giving the details. “Are… Are you a rowdy drunk or something?”
Snape rolled his eyes so hard you feared that they might fall out of his head. “Hardly,” he spat contemptuously, but you weren’t to be deterred. It was your turn to tap your fingers on the table expectantly, because god, he already knew so many dumb and embarrassing things about you. You totally deserved some compensation, right?
But it seemed you weren’t going to get much out of him. “I was simply on the wrong staircase at the wrong time,” Snape explained blandly, scowl still etched onto his face. “Though for whatever reason, some people seem to think that’s trespassing.” He redirected his grimace from you towards the bar, where the barman suddenly seemed to remember some pressing matter that needed attending in the back room. And as the sour old man bustled off, you watched Snape’s facade fall like a stone. Gone was his signature glare of contempt, as it was replaced with an exhaustion so profound, he appeared to age ten years in two seconds. He did not look back to you, instead letting his eyes fall to the sawdust strewn floor. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. “It’s in the past. Of no consequence now.”
You felt… awful. Absolutely dreadful and gross for pressing him, when it was clear that this had not been a thing he had wanted to share. Probably least of all with you. While the story itself was dull, it was quite clear that there was more he was not telling you, and you had absolutely no interest in attempting to extract that information. What right did you have to his secrets? You pulled your hands away from the table, letting them fall to your lap as you shifted uneasily in your seat, trying to find the words to apologize for your obstinacy in the ensuing beat of silence.
“I pulled one of the short straws and landed chaperone duty for the Hogsmeade trip today,” Snape said suddenly, and your head snapped up. He still wasn’t looking at you, his attention now turned towards the window where the rain continued to pound ceaselessly, and you wondered why he…
Why was he giving you a pass for this? He did this a lot, and you never understood why he was constantly allowing you to get away with being a complete and utter nit. You really didn’t deserve to be spared like this, but here he was again, allowing your folly to slide. And not only that, he’d caved to your request that he answer your question first.
Either oblivious to or willfully ignorant of the guilt roiling around inside of you, Snape proceeded with his explanation, his voice returning to its smooth, baritone drawl, devoid now of its earlier hollowness. “I’d been in Prometheus Esoterica when I saw you dash down this alleyway like a bat out of hell.” That… caught your attention, and you felt your cheeks go pink as he finally met your eye. “Once the rain started and you hadn’t turned back up on High Street, I came to investigate, and found you here.” He made an all-encompassing gesture around the bar. “This isn’t exactly the sort of place I’d expect a young lady to intentionally spend an afternoon.”
The pink tint to your cheeks only darkened, caught off guard once again that Snape apparently found your welfare a priority. Surely you weren’t the only student who needed chaperoning on this trip, and yet, here he was. Seizing your dusty butterbeer bottle, you picked at the edge of the paper label as you explained, “It certainly wasn’t my intention to spend my afternoon here. It wasn’t even my intention to come to Hogsmeade today.” You glanced to him, before looking back around to the silent and motley crew of patrons assembled there, your face still flaming. “Though it hasn’t been so bad…”
Snape appeared unconvinced, particularly incredulous that you could possibly be enjoying yourself in a dusty hovel like this. His eyes searched yours, and you could feel those little insectile legs scraping on the inside of your skull as you suspected he was looking quite a bit deeper than your hazel irises. And you let him, for now. It was easier this way. “Were you running from someone?” he queried knowingly, and you dropped your eyes to the table. You’d let him in a little bit. You trusted him. But you didn’t want him to know…
“Was it DeJarnette?”
You winced, closing your eyes as you nodded your head stiffly. He probably didn’t even need to see inside of your head to guess that. All these years you had kept your silent word to him, that you’d never intentionally engage yourself with DeJarnette’s bullying. But any time you were still somehow caught up with the boy, it made you feel fresh guilt all over again. Like it was somehow your fault that the bastard wouldn’t leave you alone. But then again, it was unfair to place all of the blame on DeJarnette; he hadn’t been the only one you had been running from.
“Among others…” you mumbled miserably, absently using your short nails to rip off strips of sodden paper from the bottle’s label. There was a beat of silence then, filled only by the pattering of rain outside, the quiet pops from the fire place, the sound of glasses tapping against wooden table tops.
“I could talk to him, you know,” Snape offered after some time, and you smiled wanly at the suggestion. Hadn’t Snape been the one to tell you that just talking to DeJarnette wasn’t going to do much? That the boy was so ingrained with his prejudices that it was simply easier to accept that you had made an enemy? Maybe Snape was just feeling sorry for you. Making the offer as an empty gesture to absolve you of the responsibility of having to deal with this mess yourself.
Sighing around your smile, you shook your head placidly. “I’d really rather you didn’t.” You set the bottle back down on the table, pushing it away from you as you felt your fidgeting was a dead giveaway for how bothered you really felt. “I didn’t do anything. Not on purpose. And he’s got to know that. He’ll leave me alone if I just ignore him for long enough.” Surely Snape was aware of what had happened; he was DeJarnette’s Head of House, after all.
Snape looked a little uncertain, like he had something he wanted to say in opposition to that line of thinking. But he merely nodded once. “Fair enough…” came the quiet reply, and you fell into silence once more. It wasn’t a comfortable silence though. Not for you. Snape had returned his attention to the deluge outside, and you found yourself counting the buttons on his coat as your brain buzzed with anticipation. You were alone with him, in a quiet bar, with no one to eavesdrop, and especially no school work to use as an excuse to delay. If you couldn’t ask him now, when could you ever?
“Professor?” you started slowly, folding your forearms onto the table, glancing up just long enough to make sure you had his attention, before pressing on. “May I ask you a question?” Your heart thudded in your throat; you needed to tread carefully if you wanted to get the answers you sought.
But Snape already looked suspicious. “How very rare for you to ask permission first,” he quipped, and you had to drop your head onto your arms to hide your chagrin. Damn it! Looks like remembering your manners was another dead giveaway. “That simply alludes to the weight of the question. You may ask it, but that doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” Peeking back up from your arms, he was regarding you with interest, but still present was the caution he’d entered the bar with in the first place.
“It’s nothing that bad,” you promised, wincing a little at how eager you sounded. “I just mean it’s… it’s…” You closed your eyes, counting a few breaths as you compiled thoughts into words, and words into meaning. Get it together, Gwen. “Last year, you told me I would have made a good Slytherin.”
This was met with silence, but you remembered his conditions quickly this time, as you opened your eyes and peered up to meet his. He nodded his appreciation to your attentiveness, his stiff posture relaxing slightly at your seemingly innocent change of subject. “Indeed, I did. I still think that, sometimes.”
You smiled slightly at that, relaxing a little yourself as you leaned onto the table. “The Sorting Hat said something similar. I was a Hatstall, you know.” It would have been mortifying if it hadn’t been so frustrating. While sorting typically took less than a minute, you had been up there for a full six. And you hadn’t even been arguing with the Hat. It had been arguing with itself, deliberating all of your strengths and weaknesses and attributes and blah blah blah. You didn’t know anything about any of the houses, except from the Hat’s song a few minutes prior. You had no preference, and the Hat didn’t know what to do with you.
Snape drew his brows together, as if wracking his brain to remember the incident, but recognition appeared on his face quickly, as Hatstalls weren’t exactly a common occurrence. “I do recall there being a… delay in sorting, a few years ago. I didn’t realize it had been you.” He seemed to ponder this a moment, before asking, “How did it come to its conclusion?”
Your smile grew sheepish as you shrugged a shoulder. “I remember vaguely thinking that I liked the color yellow more than I liked green, and I guess that was as good a reason as any.” Snape finally stopped drumming his fingers on the table, instead lifting that hand to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. You stifled your laughter behind a poorly executed cough, and wiped away your smile with the back of your hand, though it still tugged stubbornly at the corners of your lips. “But before it came to that brilliant decision, it had waffled back and forth a lot between Slytherin and Hufflepuff. And I was just wondering… if…”
This time, your smile did fall off of your face, and it seemed to impress upon Snape once again, how heavily this question weighed to you. His hand slid back down to the table, his face impassive as he waited for you to gather your words, which you finally managed to articulate.
“Would things have been different, if I had been sorted into Slytherin?” you asked finally, your shoulders sagging even as you felt the weight lifted off of them. “I mean… would people like… like DeJarnette, still treat me like garbage if I’d been sorted into their house?” You couldn’t bear to look at Snape, your eyes planted firmly on a spot just below his chin as words just kept rushing out of you. “The Hat was conflicted about putting me in Slytherin because of my… my blood status.” Your cheek twitched as you said the words; you realized now that the Hat had given you the first indication that blood status actually meant anything to anyone. You wilted further as you closed your eyes, a knot forming in your throat as you took a calculated risk with your next question. “Can half-bloods even make it into Slytherin?”
The silence that followed was tense, anticipation thick like the smell of ozone before a lightning strike. You knew you should look at him. You knew he wouldn’t answer until you did. But you were just so terrified that you’d crossed a line… Then again, he had made his terms clear; he’d permitted you to ask your questions, and he’d acquiesced on the condition that you understood that he didn’t have to answer any of them. And if you had toed the line, he could just get up and leave. Nothing was stopping him (except, perhaps, his concern for your safety…), but he was still here… so…
You were surprised to find something that looked dangerously close to empathy in the lines of his face. His expression was typical; dark brows pressed together, lips downturned, but there was an unmistakable softness around his eyes that you’d seen on occasion before. You held his gaze, your skin tingling with heat under his intense regard.
There was a pause as Snape considered you, seeming to sort through your questions before picking out the first point he wished to make. “In your case, it’s very likely that your actual blood status had nothing to do with the Sorting Hat’s indecision. It more likely was a product of the environment in which you were raised.” You pouted, not understanding, and you felt an urge to defend yourself and your mother once again, but Snape silenced you with a placating gesture. “Slytherin is a house that values tradition. Traditions that are most staunchly upheld by pure-bloods and old wizarding families. I think I remember you saying yourself that you were never raised with any such traditions, because you were brought up by your muggle mother.” The smallest of smirks graced his lips as he added, “If you had been sorted into Slytherin without any knowledge of the customs of the wizarding world, you would have been absolutely miserable by the time you shattered your ink bottles in your first year.”
You couldn’t help but smile in return. That was an excellent point, you realized, and actually made quite a bit of sense. Your ignorance was already under fire. It would have been so much worse had you been sorted into Slytherin, which was probably the actual reason why the Hat made its ultimate verdict. “So, there have been half-bloods in Slytherin, then?” you asked, forging ahead as you were quite determined to get the answers to all of your questions.
There was another pregnant pause as Snape deliberated, his eyes searching yours, but without the mind beetles this time. “Slytherin does accept half-bloods, from time to time,” he answered finally, his words measured, carefully chosen, and you found yourself hanging on to every single one of them. “And since they are typically descendants of at least one reputable family line, they’re usually treated with the same respect expected of their pure-blood peers. However,” he’d leaned forward on this word deliberately, as you had just opened your mouth to protest. “Half-bloods may still receive their fair share of ridicule, though it’s usually disguised as ‘friendly teasing.’ Half-bloods also have to do more and work harder to prove themselves worthy of being there. It’s often thankless, and can be very lonely for them.”
Your eyes fell away from his as you began fidgeting with the paper scraps of your butterbeer label. As you mulled over his words, you got a very distinct impression from them. One you had suspected for… years. Now was your chance to ask, and you threw caution to the wind as you did just that.
“You… sound like you’re speaking from experience,” you whispered, surprised by how neutral you managed to keep your tone, despite your utter terror. Your heart was really pounding now, and you could hear the blood rushing in your ears as your head spun a little. Oh, why had you said that? Don’t press your luck. He’d told you years ago not to press your-
“I am,” he confirmed tonelessly, and you felt your stomach drop. His face had gone hard again, the sympathy you had seen before having vanished, replaced instead with guarded impassivity. That wasn’t what you’d wanted. You hoped he would open up a little, not close you off. You just wanted to know, to finally confirm, that you were the same, that you had this in common. Your mouth felt dry as you tried to keep your tenuous grip on your emotions, and your brain went into overdrive to try and find an excuse, an apology that would never even come close to explaining how terribly you felt.
“I’m telling you this in confidence, Miss Goode. And I hope you appreciate the gravity of that,” came his cool assertion, and your mind screeched to a halt. Your head was filled with the sound of your throbbing heart and the driving rain on the window pane, but you kept your eyes affixed to his as he spoke. “I trust that nothing you and I have spoken of will leave this tavern?”
“No,” you whispered emphatically, shaking your head so your hair bounced around your face. “No, sir. Of course not.” You stared directly into his eyes then, hoping, praying, that he would look inside and see exactly where your devotion lay. But you didn’t feel the tell-tale beetles scurrying around in your head. He simply nodded and accepted your word. And you felt that this was the first time he’d ever accepted anything from you without question. You felt so overwhelmed with contradicting feelings that all you could do was slump back into your chair and watch him as he turned towards the window.
“I don’t think this rain is going to let up,” he said conversationally, and you were relieved that he had chosen to end the conversation for you. And you also had to agree; it really looked miserable out there. You could barely see High Street through the greyish haze of falling water, but you could just make out darkened figures dashing past the alleyway entrance. Students, you imagined, with their robes hiked up above their heads, making a mad dash for the castle as the allotted Hogsmeade time wound down, rain be damned. But of course, you hadn’t worn any robes today. You looked down at your white T-shirt and shorts, and realized suddenly how exposed you were.
And Snape seemed to notice too, appearing quite disgruntled by your choice of attire. You crossed your arms over your chest self-consciously and pouted. “It had been sunny when we arrived,” you disputed, and Snape just rolled his eyes as he stood. Looks like you didn’t have a choice. You scrambled to shove your wand and your sketchbook into your satchel as you followed suit.
“You carry the bags,” he commanded, leaving no chance for you to reprove as he strode across the bar towards the front door. You hastily tossed a few Knuts and a Sickle onto the table before doing as you were told. Scooping your Honeydukes bag into one arm, and carefully balancing Snape’s bag from the potions shop in the other, you strode over to where he stood, looking quite put out as you watched him shake out his traveling cloak.
In a billowing whip of black fabric, the heavy material was suddenly draped over your shoulders, and his fingers brushed your neck as he secured the silver fastening under your chin. You didn’t move a muscle as you stared down at his hands, stunned by their proximity, and further perplexed by this unexpectedly kind gesture. He made sure the cloak draped over your arms to protect the bags, and he seemed to consider pulling the hood up over your head, but ultimately decided you had too much hair for that to be effective.
Slipping his wand out from his sleeve, he opened the door leading out of the bar, and the sound of pounding rain was so thunderous that you didn’t quite catch the incantation he cast. But you were impressed by the transparent blue barrier held aloft by the tip of his wand. You’d always heard that umbrella charms were en vogue over in the States, and wondered why they weren’t more popular in England. They were so much more convenient, and considerably prettier. Exasperated by your sudden fascination with what he surely considered run-of-the-mill magic, Snape threw an arm over your shoulders to guide you under the canopy before stepping out into the rain. The bar door clanged shut behind you, and you were both enveloped by deafening sound and permeating darkness.
Snape kept his arm wrapped tight around your shoulders, holding you close to his side in order to keep you under the shield of his spell. Together, you made your way down the alley towards High Street, and then the castle. And you were immeasurably grateful for the pounding rain and the darkening sky closing in around you. They hid your movement as you leaned further into his touch, on the pretense of wanting to keep dry from the rain. They guarded you as you surreptitiously brushed your nose over the shoulder of the cloak draped around you, inhaling the damp smell of rain mixed with the lingering cling of fireplace smoke and medicinal herbs. And they drowned out the thundering of your heart as you savored the weight of his hand on your arm, his cloak on your shoulders, the nearness of him. You had finally gained a great measure of his trust, an endeavor that many might have considered a waste of time. But maybe it had been worth it, for this.
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Entertainment Weekly, February
Cover 1 of 2: Daniel Kaluuya of Judas and the Black Messiah
Page 1: Contents, second cover featuring LaKeith Stanfield
Page 2: EW insider
Page 3: Sound Bites
Page 8: The Must List -- Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci on Supernova
Page 10: Keegan-Michael Key on The History of Sketch Comedy
Page 11: All American, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation
Page 12: Lana Condor on To All the Boys: Always and Forever
Page 15: Fake Accounts by Lauren Oyler, Jeopardy!
Page 16: Nancy Johnson on her debut novel The Kindest Lie
Page 17: The Black Church: This Is Our Story This Is Our Song, Foo Fighters -- Medicine at Midnight
Page 18: My Must List -- Lionel Richie
Page 21: First Take -- Zack Snyder and Dave Bautista on Army of the Dead
Page 23: Dennis Quaid on Reagan
Page 24: Cover Story -- Moment of Truth -- two of the most talented stars of their generation Daniel Kaluuya and LaKeith Stanfield reach stunning new heights in the epic and Oscar-bound Judas and the Black Messiah
Page 28: A King’s Journey -- how director Shaka King went from oddball comedy to the powerhouse drama of Judas and the Black Messiah
Page 35: The Happy List -- for a sweeter 2021 come enjoy our catalog of tiny pleasures
Page 46: Mad Love -- how Zendaya and John David Washington quarantined together to make the red-hot romance Malcolm and Marie while Hollywood was on lockdown
Page 50: Breaking Big -- 10 rising stars poised to make waves in 2021
Page 51: Paul Mescal
Page 52: Taylour Paige
Page 53: Mateo Askaripour, Brandee Evans
Page 54: Haskiri Velazquez, Omar Apollo
Page 55: Simu Liu
Page 56: Emma Corrin
Page 57: Jasmine Cephas Jones, Reid Miller
Page 58: The Missing Star Spangled Girl -- on the cusp of breaking out in Hollywood the 27-year-old dancer, model and actress Jean Elizabeth Spangler vanished October 7, 1949 leaving behind a purse and a mysterious note and a young daughter; inside the chilling still-open case
Page 64: Name Calling for Fun and Profit -- after launching in 2017 as a Hollywood-adjacent curiosity Cameo the site that lets fans buy personalized video messages from celebrities of all strata is booming in the pandemic era
Page 68: News + Reviews -- with the release of 12 never-before-collected essays in Let Me Tell You What I Mean Joan Didion reminds readers that she’s been right about everything all along
Page 72: Movies -- Here Comes the Sun -- the 2021 Sundance Film Festival is going virtual but these movies prove it’s as exciting as ever and will kick off Hollywood’s comeback year
Page 73: Performance Spotlight -- Ruth Negga -- in the period piece Passing the Oscar-nominated actress delivers her most devastating turn yet
Page 74: Yuh-Jung Youn -- the supporting star who stole the festival breakout Minari may be new to most American audiences but she’s ready for her close-up
Page 75: 3 Questions with Viggo Mortensen
Page 76: Role Call -- Regina Hall -- the Hollywood chameleon’s eclectic career reaches wild new heights in the bonkers crime comedy Breaking News in Yuba County; Hall looks back on the parts that brought her here
Page 77: My Dark Vanessa -- she’s already made her mark as an ingenue and now with two buzzy new indies Vanessa Kirby seems prepared to take the lead
Page 80: Parental Guidance -- welcome to your new crib sheet on the best entertainment for kids from toddlers to tweens -- Q&A with Alyson Hannigan -- in Flora & Ulysses Alyson plays a romance novelist whose daughter teams up with a superhero squirrel when life starts to get nutty
Page 82: TV -- Batwoman Beyond -- as Batwoman’s new leading lady Javicia Leslie brings a fresh attitude to Gotham
Page 84: The Great North
Page 85: Big Trouble Ahead -- after its shocking fall premiere and a recent escape new hit series Big Sky ramps up, Q+A with Jared Padalecki -- after 15 years of playing Supernatural’s Sam Winchester, Jared is donning a new hat for Walker
Page 86: Drama Queen -- Queen Latifah balances the scales of justice on the reboot of The Equalizer
Page 87: New Friends on the Block -- nothing fuels all the feels like authentic female friendship on TV especially for residents of Firefly Lane
Page 88: Ted Danson on The Mayor
Page 89: What to Watch
Page 96: Music -- Q+A with Brittany Howard -- the rocker is no stranger to Grammy glory but the nominations for Jaime, Howard’s solo album named after her late sister, represent something new
Page 97: 3 Things to Know About Chika -- the Alabama rapper and Best New Artist nominee on her city and her music and her competition
Page 99: Hear Jhene Heal -- the R&B singer’s therapeutic approach to her 2020 album Chilombo netted multiple Grammy nods and a new sense of self
Page 101: Q&A with Gwen Stefani -- The Voice coach and No Doubt frontwoman’s new single and music video Let Me Reintroduce Myself is a celebration of all things Gwen
Page 102: Barry Gibb goes country -- on Greenfields the legendary Bee Gee recruited Dolly Parton and Keith Urban and more for twangy takes on his trio’s disco classics; saddle up as Gibb details his favorite moments
Page 104: Books -- 15 books we can’t wait to read in 2021 -- literary heavyweights, YA blockbusters and a flurry of family sagas -- this year is going to be a page-turner
Page 105: Author Spotlight -- Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley, Critic’s Pick -- How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House by Cherie Jones
Page 106: Books of My Life -- Samantha Power -- the U.N. Ambassador under President Obama publishes her lauded memoir The Education of an Idealist
Page 107: Working Guy -- in his biography of the late great Mike Nichols journalist Mark Harris explores the life of the decorated director who seduced us all
Page 108: Come As You Are -- acclaimed novelists R.O. Kwon and Garth Greenwell coeditors of the new erotic anthology Kink discuss sensuality, shame, and the changing face of desire in literature
Page 112: The Bullseye
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