#had to replace a few elipsies because tumblr hates them

[yoyo-inspace]

Mmmm... Top 5 hdm scenes!

all of them

Alright so there are tons of scenes in the entire trilogy that mean so much to me or that I find funny or horrifying or thrilling, etc. Had to narrow it down somehow. So I sort of settled for “scenes that stayed with me” after like, the first or second time I read the trilogy. Those that really etched their way into my head from when I was quite young. They don’t come in particular order though. I noticed going through it after I’d written it that there’s definitely a heavy bias towards moments in TAS, which I think is fair enough considering that’s the book I read last, when I was most mature, and it also has the culmination of a lot of stories - those moments wouldn’t have been half as impactful if they didn’t have the storytelling in the other books to lean on. 

This got longer than I thought, but that’s generally what happens when I talk HDM. Also, obvious SPOILER WARNING for anyone who haven’t read the trilogy. 

1. Lyra finding Tony Makarios in the shed.God, this scene. The build-up for it is amazing and absolutely chilling. There’s been build-up all throughout the book to what the Gobblers are actually doing. We get closer and closer to it. And then this chapter happens. The slow approach to the shed, the ominous but vague warnings from the alethiometer, the stories from the town’s people. You can really feel the dread creeping up on you. And then that last paragraph hits you.

The little boy was huddled against the wood drying-rack where hung row upon row of gutted fish, all as stuff as boards. He was clutching a piece of fish to him as Lyra was clutching Pantalaimon, with both hands, hard, against her heart; but that was all he had, a piece of dried fish; because he had no daemon at all. The Gobblers had cut it away. That was intercession, and this was a severed child.

It honestly gives me shivers every time. Nearly tear up reading it. I think it’s one of the best examples of how brilliant Pullman’s world-building is (and I do think his world-building is the strongest aspect of NL/TGC). I honestly don’t think this will be as strong in the tv show (and the movie really didn’t do it justice) - though I hope it’ll be horrifying - and that is because in a visual medium, we won’t get the horror and insight into Lyra’s mind that we have in the book. That’s okay, some things just fit better in the written medium, and I think this moment is going to be one of them. Lyra’s internal struggle with how to be brave is so good, and I hope they manage to portray a little bit of it on screen. 

2. Roger leaving the land of the deadIf I tear up every time I read the Tony Makarios scene, this is the scene where I bawl. Literally, I started crying while writing the passage down. The entire sequence in the Land of the Dead is intriguing to me, and Lyra telling the ghosts of what will happen to them is beautiful, and the struggle to get there is painful. And then they get there. And Will opens the window and they’re all crowding, afraid and yet excited to be out of that horrible place. And then a little ghost of a boy, the boy who was the reason Lyra set out on this journey to begin with, takes a step forward. 

The first ghost to leave the world of the dead was Roger. He took a step forward, and turned to look back at Lyra, and laughed in surprise as he found himself turning into the night, the starlight, the air… and then he was gone, leaving behind such a vivid little burst of happiness that Will was reminded of the bubbles in a glass of champagne.

That specific phrasing, the description of happiness as “the bubbles in a glass of champagne” has stuck with me for so long. It’s one I keep coming back to. 

3. Lyra leaving Pan Don’t have much to say about this other than I still have such a vivid image in my head from when my dad first read that passage to me, of how I remembered it all to look, of what I felt at the time. Especially my shock at the call-back to Lyra’s betrayal. Again, a scene that in several layers is strengthened by the world-building. We’ve been so convinced at this point how painful it is to leave your daemon, both emotionally and physically. I’m greatly looking forward The Secret Commonwealth to dig into what this did to the relationship of Lyra and Pantalaimon. 

[--] Lyra was doing the cruelest thing she had ever done, hating herself, hating the deed, suffering for Pan and with Pan and because of Pan; trying to put him down on the cold path, disengaging his cat-claws from her clothes, weeping, weeping. Will closed his ears: the sound was too unhappy to bear. Time after time she pushed her daemon away, and still he cried and tried to cling. [--] 

”Pan, no one’s done this before,” she whispered waveringly, ”but Will says we’re coming back and I swear, Pan, I love you, I swear we’re coming back - I will - take care, my dear - you’ll be safe - we will come back, and if I have to spend every minute of my life finding you again I will, I won’t stop, I won’t rest, I won’t - oh Pan - dear Pan - I’ve got to, I’ve got to.” And she pushed him away so that he crouched bitter and cold and frightened on the muddy ground.    What animal he was now, Will could hardly tell. He seemed to be so young, a cub, a puppy, something helpless and beaten, a creature so sunk in misery that it was more misery than creature. His eyes never left Lyra’s face, and Will could see her making herself not look away, not avoid the guilt, and he admired her honesty and her courage at the same time as he was wrenched with the shock of their parting.

[--] Her eyes never left Pantalaimon, who stood trembling at the shore end of the jetty; but as the boatman let go of the iron ring and swung his oars out to pull the boat away, the little dog-daemon trotted helpless out to the very end, his claws clicking softly on the soft planks, and stood watching, just watching, as the boat drew away and the jetty faded and vanished in the mist.

(Sidenote: I remember getting to the chapter titled “Lyra and her Death” and doing a big WHAAAAAT kind of face. My dad laughed at me. Either way, I find the concept of a personal Death strangely comforting.) 

4. Asriel and Marisa into the Abyss This one is difficult to quote. Because it’s the whole scene, the whole part of it, the fight - which is brutal - and the ferocity of these two people who, granted, are both absolutely awful, but they do this thing at the very end and it saves everyone. It’s one of the many things that people do at the end that saves everyone, but still. Especially Marisa, who reveals earlier that she was so afraid of exactly this type of faith, just nothingness, to make that last jump, as Asriel calls her name, and she’s roaring as they topple Metatron over, the fact that they both have each other’s daemons at their side. It’s just a very haunting scene. I don’t think the tv show (or any movie) would have been able to pull of the exact way I imagined this in my head, but I’m looking forward to seeing it all the same, and I hope that we get there. 

Instead of quoting the very end, I picked the moments just before, when they’re together again for a brief moment before Metatron arrives. It’s a rather sweet conversation, considering who’s involved, Marisa crying and Asriel comforting her. The “Dust is beautiful - I never knew” stuck with me especially. 

He took her in his arms, and the golden monkey embraced the snow leopard’s neck and buried his black face in her fur.  ”Is Lyra safe? Has she found her daemon?” she whispered.  ”The ghost of the boy’s father is protecting both of them.”  ”Dust is beautiful. I never knew.”  ”What did you tell him?”  ”I lied and lied, Asriel - Let’s not wait too long. I can’t bear it. We won’t live, will we? We won’t survive like the ghosts?”  ”Not if we fall into the abyss. We came here to give Lyra time to find her daemon, and then time to live and grow up. If we take Metatron to extinction, Marisa, she’ll have that time, and if we go with him, it doesn’t matter.”  ”And Lyra will be safe?”  ”Yes, yes,” he said, gently.  He kissed her. She felt as soft and light in his arms as she’d done when Lyra was conceived thirteen years before.

5. Lyra and Will freeing the Authority For a series that people keep harping on is about killing God, the actual death of the creature who called himself that is actually quite beautiful. It’s even a little sad. But it’s also important to me that there is actually no killing going on. All that happens, in all its unremarkable-ness - because no one else notices - is that there are two children who are kind and wants to help. And that’s what they do. 

Will cut through the crystal in one movement and reached in to help the angel out. Demented and powerless, the aged being could only weep and mumble in fear and pain and misery, and he shrank away from what seemed like another threat.  ”It’s all right,” Will said, ”we can help you hide, at least. Come on, we won’t hurt you.”  The shaking hand seized his and feebly held on. The old one was uttering a wordless groaning whimper that went on and on, and grinding his teeth, and compulsively plucking at himself with his free hand; but as Lyra reached in too to help him out, he tried to smile, and to bow, and his ancient eyes deep in their wrinkles blinked at her with innocent wonder.  Between them they helped the ancient of days out of his crystal cell; it wasn’t hard, for he was light as paper, and he would have followed them anywhere, having no will of his own, and responding to simple kindness like a flower to the sun. But in the open air there was nothing to stop the wind from damaging him, and to their dismay his form began to loosen and dissolve. Only a few moments later he had vanished completely, and their last impression was those eyes, blinking in wonder, and a sigh of the most profound and exhausted relief.  Then he was gone: a mystery dissolving in mystery.

___

Whew. There we go. More crying than I was expected, though I probably should have, considering it’s me.

Quick honorable mentions, because I’m a horrible cheat, but without explanations: Lyra in the Retiring Room, Lyra leading the children through the snowstorm after Bolvangar, Mary Malone talking to the Angels through the Cave, Will and Lyra fleeing the children of Cittàgazze, all of Marzipan, Mary Malone standing on the platform and looking through her spyglass at the dust, Pan and Lyra talking about the Republic of Heaven.