#ham-bone bloopers

[kick-dickem]

Riverdale is crazy this, Riverdale is crazy that. Have y'all taken the time to actually read Archie comics? Read a few and they might seem normal enough, but every once in a while you'll get shit that would stop the Riverdale writer's room in their tracks.

Case and point: Archie Gets a Job (1977)

[mindibindi]

The fact that Mulder and Scully never got a well-lit, well-shot kiss unencumbered by obstacles of any variety (be they bosses, babies or broken bones) is made all the more frustrating by the fact that David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson both look like really, REALLY good kissers. DD has played a lot of sexy/romantic roles; "Californication" alone gives ample evidence of his kissing prowess. Gillian hasn't played as many roles requiring make-out skills but she does this thing in "Playing By Heart" where she pulls back from Jon Stewart's mouth and traces his lips with hers.... 😳😳😳 She does a similar thing in the FTF blooper kiss, where she pulls back from David/Mulder and makes his mouth chase hers. She teases him a bit with her tongue before diving in... 🥴🤯🤤 and YES, she is hamming it up for the crew (not us cos we were never supposed to see it GRR). Actually, she hams up that moment more than David, who just plays it straight. That is NOT how Scully would kiss Mulder for the first time. (Maybe for the second time. But even so. Mulder would be like: Wait a minute. Nice girls don't kiss like that. And Scully would be like: Oh yes they fucking do.... And then do it again). Those blooper kisses are ALL Gillian, not Scully. And as grateful as I am that the kisses Gillovny tried so hard to insert into the M/S narrative leaked, I can't even believe THEM as real Mulder and Scully kisses. In short (not that this is news): WE WERE ROBBED. Over and over and over again. Because not only do DD and GA have the most epic chemistry in television history, not only do Mulder and Scully have the most epic love story in television history, NOT ONLY do DD and GA have the most kissable lips in television history, I believe to this day that they also possess the oral skills to elevate a well-lit, well-shot, well-timed, completely unencumbered kiss to the most sensual and satisfying consummation of sexual tension of all time. Only Chris Carter is a puritan so. Here we are. 30 years later.