#hang on there's stuff that eats souls in spn. time to see how they do it

[wetbloodworm]

talking about how the soul-eating thing works in my word doc notes. here’s a snippet

[dotthings]

15.06. A great wrong has been righted. Hope is allowed in this narrative. I hope Chuck is brooding in his brooding dark castle somewhere, gnashing his teeth and cursing the heroes like a proper villain.

The Dean and Cas breakup and Rowena’s death are in the “Then” so I knew this was going to be a doozy.

Excuse me, random witch I don’t know STOP TOUCHING QUEEN ROWENA’S THINGS THIS INSTANT STOP THAT.

Back in the bunker, Sam is not looking good. Tired, a bit damp-eyed haggard, and randomly cruising weird lore and stuff on the internet, like he’s throwing spaghetti at the wall, any lead, any hunt, just something, that will help them or keep him from feeling helpless. Jared was so great in this ep, showing Sam’s anxiety about Chuck, his ongoing sadness about Rowena, but also hope and joy because of Eileen, and my heart just aches.

Dean’s still stress eating, shoving dry cereal in his mouth and pretending to be cheery and marathoning Scooby Doo (comfort watching). He turns down going with Sam on the milk run and is hanging around in his bathrobe. This is a lot like Dean in S14 after being possessed by AU Michael. Anyone still think Dean has been perfectly okay since 15.03? LOLOLOL. Nor is this just because of finding out Chuck is still out there. Dean’s been stress eating and day drinking and trying to hide behind food pranking before they found out Chuck was back. He’s still reeling and avoiding his Cas feelings, which were complicated by the nihilism Dean feels because of Chuck, and now on top of that, they know that Chuck isn’t actually gone.

While Cas’s coping mechanism is to go fishing, something he says he learned from a friend is a way to find some peace. So Cas is getting away from his feelings by emulating the person causing the feelings he’s trying to avoid right now. Also note, in S11 Cas dealt with trauma by turtling in his room marathoning tv shows, which is also a Dean method of coping with trauma. We get to see Cas standing on his own, an autonomous and competent hunter, and that’s important, but Dean’s impact on Cas, his link with him, their similarities, doesn’t go away.

I really like we get to see Sam jogging. It’s one of those things, like sparring, we’re told happens and don’t get to see. Cas goes fishing, Dean hides out in his bathrobe eating sugary cereal watching Scooby Doo, Sam goes jogging. Everyone’s got their way of coping.

EILEEN!!! EILEEN IS A GHOST IT IS GHOST EILEEN HI EILEEN HI HI!!!!

So she’s been trying to get them to see her and Sam finally does. Little bit of a parallel back to S8 and Dean haunted by seeing Cas everywhere and Cas turns out to be real.

So Eileen needs help getting her soul into Heaven. I’m disappointed she actually really was killed instead of my theories because the way she was killed irritated me so much but I’m really happy that despite that actual narrative mistake where spn mis-stepped, her story isn’t over, this hole in my heart is healing wow thanks spn.

Dean seems weirdly okay with the idea of Sam as heir to Rowena’s magical lore and I honestly expected him to be more resistant but a lot has happened, characters grow, Dean cared about and trusted Rowena. So that’s interesting. He’s for it.

Sam’s sad face is just getting to me all over this episode.

“I need to find my son.” Cas’s sad sad face listening to this distraught parent. Of course he’s going to help her find her son. Of course he is. Of course his fishing trip is over. A hunt found him and of course he can’t turn his back on a parent who wants to save her child. What we see in this ep is Cas enacting what Sam and Dean have been saying about why they do what they do, even if things are miserable and it seems hopeless, but if they help others, that makes things better for the world.

Sam empathizing with Eileen about having been in Hell. Oh, my poor babies.

All right, Columbo, I mean “Agent Worley” is on the case. And the local law enforcement wants to check with his supervisor OH GOD OH GOD THE PHONE IS RINGING IN THE BUNKER DEAN IS ANSWERING IT

“He wants to talk to you” OH THAT’S FINE MY HEART JUST DROPPED TO MY TOES THAT’S COOL COOL COOL

“Sam’s been trying to call you...check your damn messages” and Dean checking on Cas and warning him about Chuck. Listen, I am Cas in this scene, Cas is me. Cas just LOSES IT and so did I. Dean, wtf, my dude, my pet, my love, my dumbass, it was your idea to alienate him, and *now* you’re telling him not to be a stranger, and warning him about the big bad that is a threat to them all, oh Dean, oh honey, you really do suck at being done with Cas, and Cas sucks at being done with you.

So Cas has a smol nervous breakdown because DEAN and rubs his hand hard over his face and can’t hold character as Agent Worley then pulls it together to maintain his cover.

I know, Cas, I know. Dean can be A LOT.

Sam finding Rowena’s journeys has got me all thinking about how Sam goes from blood relative legacy of John’s journal that Sam didn’t really choose but eventually appreciated as legacy to found family legacy of Rowena’s journal, a bond and a legacy Sam chose.

Sam telling Eileen what happened to Rowena OH MY HEART. This episode is a lot.

Eileen trying to comfort Sam and her ghostly hand goes right through him...and at the end of the ep they can touch. I WILL BE SHOUTING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE.

“Her magic. This is how she kept control.” Sam talks about how Rowena understood how the deck was stacked, Sam talks about Rowena in a way that shows how deeply he understood Rowena. *cries*

Sam wants to bring ghost Eileen back to flesh and blood life. *screaming internally*

Seeing Cas in researchy mode, helping others, giving others hope, being a competent autonomous hunter THIS IS SO GOOD.

Loved the way Sam and Eileen use sign in general. And Sam signing “my brother” to Eileen so she can get help for him as he’s captured by the witches.

Seems weirdly apt the actress who played Chuck’s publisher now plays one of the witches who kidnaps Sam.

We’ve often seen spn use toxic siblings as dark mirrors for Sam and Dean, cautionary notes and red flags. In this ep the toxic sibling mirror seems to allow to highlight the functionlity of Sam and Dean. The witch sister pranks that were malicious and harmful vs Winchester pranks that aren’t harmful, but done out of affection, and to lighten the strain they’re under from what they do.

Enjoyed these scenes with Melly and Cas as Melly talks about her son and how they fight but “we’ll get through.” Relevant familial stuff there, and applies for parents and kids, siblings, or, y’know, whatever pseudo-spousal thing Dean and Cas have going on. Cas also relates to Melly as someone who rejected their expected roles put on them by higher ups in the chain, and wanted something better. Free will.

Yes I so like that Cas gets a win in this ep. He finds the missing son, reunites a family. Melly and her son seem to take the whole supernatural being savior hero thing fairly calmly, considering. And this ep also reminds us, very clearly: Cas is a hero. Sam and Dean are not the only heroes of this story.

I enjoy badass Cas and Cas was an able hunter in this ep but he really is NOT okay. A simple clean kill would have been enough for this djinn, but the way he kept stabbing the monster over and over, splattered in blood that isn’t his own, he’s compensating or something. Cas looked anguished. Cas is dealing with a lot. Feeling rejected by Dean, losing the only family he has, and his anger at Chuck for messing with them all so severely. Cas went to the woods and the lake seeking peace and wound up covered in blood.

Hm, so Cas can heal the boy’s ankle but he struggles to use his grace, which seems to be spluttering like it’s low on fuel. Looks like those human Cas metas are still pointing in likely directions.

“If I stay nothing changes...it’s time for me to get back in the game.” Yes he could stay in the woods and the lake and fish and take the occasional hunt, and hide forever from the ones he still loves but doubts his place and hide from the urgent main fight. But he can’t. Back the game...is also coming home.

Ghost Eileen is a badass and saves Sam HELL YEAH. Rowena’s legacy, Dean racing in last minute, and ghost Eileen, all saved Sam in this ep.

“I learned from the best.” Sam using Rowena’s teaching to defeat the witches. There’s that legacy again.

The spell to restore ghost Eileen to flesh and blood involves a bath that seems ritualistic, with Sam performing the spell. I am NEVER getting over how Sam is shaking with emotion while he courteously keeps his back to her. Never ever ever. And then their hands...finally touching. Clasping each other. And Sam hugging damp Eileen. Sam’s FACE. Oh my god I’m never ever getting over this.

This is so hopeful and joyful and it still hurts, Sam has been through so much and he’s had so much pain, and since Eileen was introduced, she seemed to bring out a light in him that gave me a pang right here *taps chest*. We’re seeing it in this episode. OUCH OUCH MY HEART.

Eileen is a great character in her own right and I love her and disliked how she was killed off so so much and it helps so much that SPN did this and restored her, and Eileen and Sam together, just gets me. Right in the chest.

This last Sam and Dean scene. “I don’t know what’s God and what isn’t” says Dean. HELLO WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING AND SAYING ABOUT DEAN’S STATE OF MIND AND WHY HE’S ACTING THE WAY HE DID TOWARDS CAS.

“We’re the guys who break the rules.” WOW LOOK IT’S MY METAS ENACTED VIA DIALOGUE

Sam is basically taking my position—that while Chuck manipulates some events, he can’t control everything and they make their own choices and do the unpredictable things. While Dean is caught in the nihilism of believing everything was manipulated, almost nothing was real.

Just as I don’t think Chuck wanted Cas to come back in S13 and that was an unpredicted twist, I don’t think Eileen is back due to Chuck’s meddling. Eileen’s spirit sought out Sam and Dean, Rowena’s legacy, her unfinished spell for Mary, is what allows Sam to perform the ritual spell to restore Eileen. As Cas has been tied to Dean’s sense of hope, Eileen has been an immensely hopeful figure for Sam. I don’t think Chuck wants them to have this. Can’t be 100% sure, maybe he wants them to have their hope just so he can crush them even harder, but these relationships being part of breaking out of Chuck’s machine, to make their own rules, find hope despite those machinations, makes sense to me.

“I need my brother.” Yes, you do. You both do. Sam and Dean don’t just need only each other, but they are rule breakers and they do need each other. Team Free Will is essential to break Chuck’s machine, and Team Free Will is Sam & Dean, Dean & Cas, Sam & Cas, and all 3.

While the ice has broken a bit between Dean and Cas in this ep, they still aren’t talking about Cas. But their biggest wild card is on his way home and they are Team Free Rule Breakers, all three of them.

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 7x17: “The Born-Again Identity”

THEN: Cas broke Sam’s wall, and all memories of Hell came tumbling out. Hallucifer is stronger than ever and things have gotten worse for Sam.

He just bumped into you, why don’t you relax?

Poor Sam. I find the sound of Lucifer’s voice grating, and Sam had to endure that for what? Months now?

“What's the longest a normal human being has ever gone without sleep?” [10 or 11 days?] “11 days.” I was right.

:( Hit by a damn car.

Don’t give Dean the stink eye, nurse.

“So you're aware that Sam is experiencing a full-blown psychotic episode?”

“Psychotic? Come on. I mean, the guy's... It's not like the guy's freakin' Norman Bates.”

Stop denying this, Dean.

“How are you feeling?”

“Maybe you should cancel my UFC fight.”

Aww.

“Quit being Dalai frickin' Yoda about this, okay? Get pissed!” He doesn’t have the energy.

Dean begins the search for a cure.

Can I just...hug Sam? 

The right number pops out of Bobby’s address book. Bobby’s ghost action #3.

FUCK RIGHT OFF, dude.

What a big yawn from Sam.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, HALLUCIFER.

Mackey calls back about “Emanuel”.

“He was healing the sick, curing the crazy.” Huh, kinda like Anael, except she profited from it.

Can we all just thank Mackey (and Bobby) for bringing Cas back to us?

Marin and her kind gesture.

Hallucifer and his dickhead actions.

OOHHH IT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

Dean almost fell for the demon’s lie...if he hadn’t seen Daphne tied up in a chair. 

“Whatever Emmanuel is, Crowley's gonna want him-”  Crowley really would’ve wanted him.

RIP demon. Killed by Dean.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

“I’m Emanuel.”

“Dean. I’m Dean.”

And I’m losing my s h i t.

“I saw his face. His real face.”

“He was a demon.”

“Demon walked the earth.”

“Demons. Whackloads of them. You don't know about...?”

(x)

Did Dean think Cas was just pretending to not know/remember him? Because the moment he realizes that Cas doesn’t remember squat, he looks truly heartbroken.

Damn it, that firecracker scared me. “Wake Up Little Susie” by the Everly Brothers.

Fuck right off, u asshole.

“Bouncybabynames.com.”

I wonder if it was Daphne’s idea to search for a name there.

“Must be weird not knowing who you are.”

“Well, it's my life. And it's a good life.”

“Yeah, well, what if you were some kind of... I don't know...bad guy?”

DEAN.

Marin’s so sweet. 

Sam can barely open the candy bar. :(

Just the one voice.

“You are crazier than I am! Charles Manson tells you what to do.” DON’T MAKE ME TAKE BACK MY COMPLIMENT, MARIN.

“At least it’s my own brother--”

“It’s your brother?”

“Yes. It sucks... when it's your dead brother saying... kill yourself to be with him... or he'll do it for you.”

Sam’s got a case to work on.

Dean and Emanuel talk about Sam.

“Someone did this to him.”

“You’re angry.”

“Well, yeah. Dude broke my brother's head.”

“He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?”

“Yeah, well, he’s gone.”

This is painful to watch.

Dean looks surprised to hear Emanuel/Cas ask if he killed “his friend”.

“Honestly, I-I-I don't know if he is dead. I just know that this... whole thing couldn't be messier. You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't – I don't know why.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter why.”

“Of course it matters.”

“No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human.”

:’) Emanuel/Cas is the only person to show Dean some sympathy and kindness when Dean opens up about how much he’s struggling.

“Your friend's name was Cas? That's an odd name.” pfft. Granted, if my memory got wiped and someone told me they knew someone named “Paz” I’d probably also call it a weird name. Cool, but weird.

RIP demon. Killed by Dean.

Another phone bites the dust.

RIP demon. Killed by Meg.

“I'm here to help you, and that makes us friends.”

“Help, huh? You mean see if you can't turn harmless little Cas out there into an angel-sized weapon?”

“Like you're taking him caroling.”

Both have fair points. Meg wants Cas to protect her, but Dean is currently using Cas to heal Sam. Might as well work together.

“Meg. Just here for moral support. I mean, after all, we go way back. Dean and me. Just met you, of course. But I think we're gonna be good friends, too.”  Damn it, Meg.

Emanuel/Cas being absolutely revolted that a demon’s flirting with him.

Just let him help, Marin.

Sam looks awful, he’s at the lowest of the lows in his life...and he’s working a case and helping someone. Bless his freaking soul.

Emanuel/Cas is so darn cute.

Hang in there, Sam.

They did it!

“Thank you.” :’) I hope Marin’s doing better.

“His soul is broken, Doc.” Hey, Death said a soul can’t be broken, so up yours Hallucifer.

“Oh, gracious.” tee hee.

“I gather we know each other.”

“Just a dollop.”

“You can tell me. I'll be fine.”

“How do you know? You just met yourself. I've known you for years.”

ohoho

“I’m sorry? Is that a flirtation?” Me.

“She's not lying. Okay? That's why you heal people. You don't eat. I'm sure there's more.”

“Why wouldn't you tell me? Being an angel – it sounds pleasant.”

“It's not, trust me. It's bloody, it's corrupt. It's not pleasant.”

What an interesting conversation.

“It's in there. I'm sure it's just like riding a bike.”

“I don’t know how to do that, either.” 

Also me.

“I believe in the little tree topper.” Me too.

This music tho."Turn into Earth" by The Yardbirds.

Meeting Dean. Rebelling for Dean. Breaking Sam’s wall. Working with Crowley. Apologizing to Dean. All things that we see Cas remember.

RIP demons. Killed by Cas.

Meg’s “Clarence” vs Dean’s “Cas”.

“I remember you I remember everything.”

Dean’s worst fear happening: Cas is walking away.

Has electroshock therapy really helped anyone??

Nurse Demon in disguise.

“If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time.” Ooohhh, Dean-o.

Dean’s reaction to Cas saying he deserved to die... big ouch on that one.

THE FUCKING TRENCHCOAT THAT DEAN CARRIED AROUND FOR MONTHS.

RIP demon. Killed by Cas.

Sam couldn’t recognize him. :(

“it’s better this way. I’ll be fine.” Cas’ last words to Dean..for now.

“I’m sorry I ever did this to you.” Cas’ last words to Sam...for now.

Cas shifts the burden. Sam is cured.

Poor hon. :(

I know that objectively speaking leaving Cas was the best thing to do...BUT I STILL GET ROYALLY PISSED ABOUT THIS.

“We don't even have friends. All our friends are dead.” WHAT ABOUT THE ONE YOU’RE LEAVING BEHIND??

Welcome, Nurse Meg Masters.