#happy to have more books more mugs more candles.. i'm starting to actually get to know myself and it's something i've never had a chance

[autistic-shaiapouf]

It feels so genuinely strange to feel at peace after being in crisis mode for so many years. My therapist said it takes, on average, 2 years for the results of (C-)PTSD recovery to made visible and I'm right on target for it; it's just. I feel okay and it's starting to sink in.

Good things have happened this year and they don't feel like they're gonna be taken away, I've met very good people and they don't feel out of my grasp. I'm actually getting to know myself, seeing what my autism wants from the world, the candles and incense and sprays pointing me towards sensory seeking (and that's okay!), the special interest in music pulling me in all directions (and that's okay!), spending lots of time reading and changing up what I was taught constitutes a meal by breaking it down (and that's okay!).

I don't actively dislike my field of work, have hobbies I engage in, friends I engage with, a vehicle the same year I got my license, I feel like I'm breathing for the very first time.

I'm okay, and it's starting to really feel that way.

[danpuff-ao3]

Danni! For the Behind the Scenes ask --- 5 & 12!

Scarlet!! <3

5.) What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

MY OFFICE!!!!

Eddie (my partner) and I decluttered and reorganized our home recently. We still have some smaller projects to tackle, like the kitchen cabinets and the outdoor shed, but...the point is, we've made a lot of progress!

(Forgive the rambling but I'm really happy and wanna talk about it!)

Our space has been super cluttered and chaotic for a while because my partner's work hours were insane, and they've only been slightly less insane the past year. And over time, my own motivation to stay on top of things, basically alone, waned. But late November/early December we were super motivated to get moving and we did! Every weekend we'd tackle another room. Donated a bunch of excess stuff. Got supplies we needed to set up some stuff. And voila!

When we moved in, what is meant to be a dining room (but neither of us has use for a dining room) was made into a computer room, and our spare room was...basically a library? But for our fantasy books specifically. But our needs changed over time, so now the dining room is my office! And the spare room is his fantasy/MTG/DnD/Nerd Cave.

So rather than just my desk crammed into the computer room (slash junk room, basically) I now have my very own space! My HP bookcase is in there, a bookcase for my astrology books, a desk bookcase for reference books. I have various figures all around, and my mugs on the wall, and SNARRY ART. SO MUCH SNARRY ART. I AM SPOILED BY SNARRY ART AND I NEED MORE. Ahem. Anyway. Basically I have a very special space and it's perfect and it brings me so much joy and I'm all teary just typing about it.

ANYWAY. I now have the Ultimate Writing Space. But I've not properly used it for writing yet. 😂 It's only been properly set up for a few weeks and I've not written much since I submitted White Lies & Silver Bells.

Wait wait I lied I wrote Again last weekend 🤣 So it might be more accurate to say I've not written much there yet. And tbf I was fangirling too much about writing fic for A_Loveunlaced's art to properly appreciate the experience. 😅

But it's great! The aesthetic is great. I have much inspiration from all the Snarry. I have candles to set the mood! I have comfort in the layout, from my laptop stand, to my ergonomic keyboard and my vertical mouse, and my footrest! I have lots of lighting options between my whimsical string lights and the mood lighting from our Philips Hue bulbs. I have much coffee! And since my office is what should be the dining room, it's so close to my InstantPod!!!! Just a few steps, grab a mug along the way, and COFFEE!

Ideally I'd have some ambient noise playing. I have enough room to prop up my ipad and pull up YouTube to pull up a video from MiracleForest or one of the Hogwarts Pomodoro videos. That way I have chill noise that isn't distracting and nice imagery!

Idk I have everything I need in one little area and it has such a good vibe and it genuinely brings me so so much joy. I still have a few art pieces to hang but once it's all finally finished I plan on sharing pics with everyone!! 😁

And with luck, I'll get more writing done there this weekend!! I'm getting a head start on Thon 😎 (in theory, anyway.)

12.) Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Omg!! Probably. But what is it...? 🤔

The big one that I can feasibly write soonish would be soulmates! Even though Snarry are soulmates so every Snarry fic is a soulmate fic, but I digress. But I have an actual idea for one!! Mega angst and wrongness and weirdness. I've made a few attempts but the time isn't right yet. It's not come out right so far, so I just poke at it every few months and see how I'm feeling about it.

Others I have vague desire to write, but have no actual ideas for yet, would be like amnesia!! I want a good amnesia fic where Harry forgets Severus and has a super negative reaction to his present life and Severus being all heartbroken and defensive...😌

Also! I'd love to write a case fic, I just don't know that I have the right skillset for that. Or maybe it just requires more time and thought than I can really give right now. Who knows! But I really do need more Snarry case fics in my life.

Oh! I actually do have an idea for an arranged marriage fic, but I'm still hacking out the details on that one.

OH!! And a sex pollen fic I need to write.

Okay so I have more Actual Ideas than I thought I did, oops. But yeah! Lotsa cool stuff to play with one day. But I don't really wanna pump out stories for the sake of writing an amnesia fic, but to have something really solid that I'm really excited about. And even when I do have ideas, other ideas are ones I'm more jazzed about and steal my attention...😬 So I'll get there one day! Maybe!

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

Answered: 1, 4, 23; 5, 12