melodictruama

[harperwongshipper96]

Deborah: Why didn't you tell me that my sister’s figurines sell well?!

Ada, nonchalantly turns magazine page: Well, I didn't want your head to grow 10 times bigger than your boobs

Deborah: I think you already made my head bigger than my boobs

Ada:…

Deborah, leans in with a smirk: I’ve read every single word of that self insert fic you wanna sleep with my sister so bad.

Sorce: Twitter|Eimiko.txt (Ducky)

@EimikoPosts

[harperwongshipper96]

Claire: Where’s Alex?

Helena: She pulled an allnighter, drank 5 energy drinks one after another and then thought the hummingbirds outside were talking shit about her.

Alex: [from outside] SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU WINGED FUCK!

[harperwongshipper96]

Claire: Okay. Rule number 1, do not go off on your own. Rule number 2, if you do go off on your own, do not go in the woods. Rule number 3, if you do go into the woods, never, ever, EVER make out in the woods, or you will DIE in the woods...

Jill:

Sherry:

Deborah:

Claire: Where are Ada and Helena?

Deborah, smirking: Breaking rules 1, 2 and 3.

[harperwongshipper96]

Ada: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with your sister?

Deborah: YOU WHAT?!

Ada: Fuck, it wasn't that

[harperwongshipper96]

Alexia: Oh, you lost something important? Just go home.

Alexia: Oh, you got fired from your job? Just go home.

Alexia: Oh, you've got a mental illness that heavily burdens your everyday life and is slowly ripping your sanity to shreds? Just go home!

Helena: That last one was a little too specific...

[harperwongshipper96]

Helena: Jill, are you fine?

Jill: In what aspect? Physically, I am exhausted and my body has not fully recovered.

Jill: Appearance-wise, I'm not just fine. I'm a whole ass meal. Three courses, five stars.

Jill: Mentally? I could use some therapy.

[harperwongshipper96]

Ada: Let’s go over what we know about all of these incidents.

Helena: Oh, we’re calling them "incidents" now? I was thinking more along the lines of "that wacky time yesterday when we almost died".

[harperwongshipper96]

Ada: I could get killed

Ada:…Or even worse, give Helena another reason so she could give me a lecture on responsibility again

[harperwongshipper96]

Ada: *phone starts ringing*

Claire, looking to see who’s calling: Who the hell is “mommy”?

Ada, answering the phone and making direct eye contact with Claire: Hello Helena.

Claire:*chokes on drink*

[harperwongshipper96]

Deborah: Don't come to the house.

Claire: Why?

Deborah: Helena is passive-aggressively doing the dishes she asked us to do six hours ago. It isn't safe here anymore.

[harperwongshipper96]

Helena: If you got arrested, what would be the charges?

Ada: Theft.

Claire: Aggravated assault.

Alexia: Arson.

Alex & Carla: Multiple murders.

Jill: All of the above. In that order, probably.

[harperwongshipper96]

Claire: Why would you give a knife to Alexia?!

Alex, shrugging: Alexia felt unsafe.

Claire: Now I feel unsafe!

Alex: I’m sorry…

Alex: Would you like a knife?

[harperwongshipper96]

Helena: Dammit, Deborah! 
Deborah: What?! It wasn’t me! 
Helena: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Ada!
Ada: Not me either.
Helena: Then who set the house on fire?
Claire: *whistles*

[harperwongshipper96]

Alexia: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Helena: Wasn't Alex and Claire with you?

Alex: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Claire with a blank expression: You expect them to listen to me?

[harperwongshipper96]

Deborah: it's almost time to change from our everyday weapons to our christmas weapons.

Sherry: Is there a difference?

Helena: The christmas ones light up

Sherry: ...

Deborah, smirks:*takes out a Christmas theme taser* Blink blink motherfuckers.

[harperwongshipper96]

Deborah, drunk texting: There’s a fucking owul outside my window

Deborah: ouwl

Deborah: oul

Deborah: houl

Deborah: how the fuck do you spell it

Deborah: hoot hoot

Deborah: there’s a fucking hooter outside my window

Helena, glaring at her phone: I’m not drunk enough to put up with you.